Back on Kylo's ship, he led me to his quarters without another word. Practically throwing me as he released me, I stumbled towards the bed.

"Stay," he commanded.

I let out a sigh, plopping onto the bed as he stormed back out. I was beyond relieved to be back with him, but I was worried about what might come next. Would I be able to stop him? Could I bring Ben back? Was this all really worth it?

I let my mind wander, imagining HR with Felicity, running around happily with a child. I desperately wanted that life for him. I needed to find her and see if she was still waiting. I needed him to be happy.

My thoughts were interrupted when the ship started to lift. I wondered how long I would have to wait for Kylo to return. Then I slowly realized that I was laying on his bed. In his bedroom. My heart started to race at the implications that held. When the sound of footsteps grew louder outside the door, I quickly hopped off the bed, adjusting my clothing and hair.

A second later, Kylo entered again, removing his helmet and throwing it aside. He was now wearing the anger that I had expected at our initial encounter. I shrunk back without thinking, and it caused him to falter.

"Do you have any idea how stupid you are?" he asked, remaining on the opposite side of the room.

"Most of the time. Do you have any idea how frustrating you are?" I retorted, closing the distance between us.

His jaw tightened, but he didn't react otherwise.

"I can't have you disobeying orders all the time. You're going to get us both killed."

I laughed loudly. His eyebrows shot up briefly.

"You're not the boss of me, and I am more than capable of taking care of myself."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I braced myself for his wrath. I watched as his nostrils flared while he made fists with his hands, but contradicting his past, he didn't act out.

"If you truly plan to work together, to be together, then I need you to show me some inkling of respect. I'm trying to keep you safe. You don't know the full dangers out there, and you still haven't gotten all of your memories back. What if you had remembered something while you were in the middle of a fight? Or while you were flying? Or somewhere outside of the confines of the base? What if someone found you lying unconscious and took advantage of you?"

He threw up his hands and started pacing. I let my eyes follow him, slightly dumbfounded by the revelation. I was so convinced that he had been trying to control me, bend me to his will. I never realized that he was genuinely worried about my safety without any ulterior motives behind it.

"You're right," I said softly. "I made assumptions about your intentions without actually discussing them with you. I'm sorry, but you also need to stop trying to protect me by controlling my every move. It makes it seem like you don't trust in me or my abilities. I know you've been impressed by what I can do, so why not see what we are capable of accomplishing together?"

Kylo stopped, listening carefully to my quiet words. His gaze bore into me long after I finished speaking. Slowly, he made his way back over to me. When he was merely inches away, he removed his cloak. Then each of his gloves, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Alright, I will work harder to include you in more decisions, though I can make no promises."

"I don't need to be included in everything, Kylo. I just want you to start by including me in the decisions that involve me directly. But I do want to make it clear that your life is very important to me, and you throwing yourself into dangerous situations that I can assist with might be worth stopping and thinking about twice for. And it wouldn't hurt if you'd at least discuss face to face these crazy missions you are going on. A note is great, but I would have loved to discuss it with you directly."

He gave me a small smile, tension clearly leaving his body replaced by sadness.

"You made it pretty clear that you didn't want to see me."

I groaned.

"I also would have loved for you to come after me instead of sending HR. No matter how much I seemingly hated you."

I couldn't stop the tears that suddenly laced my eyes. Thinking about the ache in my heart when it wasn't Kylo at my door... The weight of it all crushed me. A moment later, I was wrapped tightly in the comfort of his arms. Tears continued to stream down my face as he displayed this vulnerable, human side of himself. I felt true hope for the first time, and I wasn't willing to let it go.

"I love you, Kylo," I whispered softly, my tears subsiding.

"And, I, you."

I was elated. I lifted from his chest, pulling his lips into mine. His kiss was gentle, but I needed more. Once again, I tried to slip my hand between us to touch him, and, once again, he stopped me.

"Astra... as much as I would love to let you follow through with this, I simply cannot ignore the small matter of your punishment."

"But-"

"No," he replied firmly.

I sighed, letting the hand he didn't have hold of brush against the growing bulge in his pants. His eyes quickly fell shut, and his jaw tensed for a brief moment before he regained his composure. He snapped his gaze to me, flaring his nostrils. I couldn't stop the smirk that passed over my lips.

"Grab that chair. Bring it to the center of the room," he commanded, releasing my wrist.

My stomach did a flip at the implication behind his words. My heart pounding in my chest while I carried the chair to the open space he was referring to. When I set it down, I turned to face Kylo once again.

"Do you know why I'm doing this?" he asked gently, his face hard.

"Because I unnecessarily put myself into danger that I didn't know existed because you refuse to include me?" I said innocently.

"Astra..."

I sighed dramatically.

"What?! How can you expect me to have an answer when you just run off as it suits you?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I'm doing this because no matter what our relationship is becoming, I'm still your master. You have not completed your training to a point where I feel comfortable for you as my student to go off on your own. You took a ship and crew without my permission, and you left the base with virtually no one to command it."

"But Pha-"

"No. I still make the final decision. I don't care who I left in charge. This wasn't a mission worth sacrificing yourself for. Clearly you remembered how to fly again. Did they let you fly here, too?"

I stared at him, very aware of the fact that he was searching my mind as soon as he mentioned the words.

"I wasn't in danger. I had someone by my side at all times just incase," I mumbled.

"I should have been the one by your side. You can't be trusted on your own."

"Well you fucking ran off, so what choice did I have?! I want to protect you just as much as you want to protect me!"

"You don't get to have that luxury until I know you won't collapse from remembering."

"Luxury?! Is that why you started training HR? Just so he could risk his life incase I remembered something while out fighting with you?! I don't want this fight. I never did."

"I need you safe," he said simply.

"Why?!"

He studied me for a moment.

"Because losing you is the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. Even if we can't be together, I need you to be safe. So, if I have to punish you to achieve that, I will gladly spend my time doing so."

I watched him intently for a moment, trying to gauge his control over his anger. His resolve to take me in hand made it difficult to focus on any lesson he expected me to learn, but I wanted to believe him.

"Fine, but I want a safe word."

"Fine. What did you have in mind?"

I was surprised by his quick agreement to this. I almost felt guilty for not trusting that he wouldn't do something to hurt me more than he intended. But, I wasn't willing to chance it. So, I thought of the one thing that would likely get his attention.

"How about Darth Vader?"

Based on his instantaneous reaction, I knew I had chosen wisely.

"Alright. Let's get started then," he said, taking a seat in the chair.

I carefully placed myself over his lap, adjusting slightly to get as comfortable as I could. As before, I wrapped my arms around his leg, bracing myself for impact. He snaked his hand around my torso and holding me tight.

The energy seemed to buzz through the air while I waited for him to start. I knew this was going to be far worse than anything I had experienced previously, but I couldn't help being turned on.

When he finally brought his hand down, I noted the lack of intensity as compared to the other times. I wasn't sure if I should feel relieved or worried, but I did my best not to react.

His pattern was methodical, striking all parts of my bulbous flesh. I stopped myself more than once from pushing back into his hand. With less force behind the blows, I didn't feel the sting that I had craved before.

As the burn in my ass started to build, my breath became more ragged. I was stuck somewhere between intense pleasure and pain, and the difference was nearly indiscernible. When I felt like I was about to explode, he stopped.

"I need you to remove the clothing from your lower half," he said, helping me stand.

I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes, then began to unwrap my clothing. I let them fall from my body, watching the hunger in Kylo's eyes. He shifted in the chair, licking his lips. I smirked as I slowly lowered my underwear, pressing my lips to his before sliding back over his legs.

I could feel his erection digging into my side and pressed into it slightly. He grunted, quickly adjusting himself before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back into him.

When his hand met my already sensitive bared flesh, I gasped. The sensation was indescribable. It vibrated through my entire body, clouding my senses completely.

I could feel my juices tickling at my upper thighs and spread my legs slightly, desperate for his touch against my swollen lips. He responded my bringing his hand down harder. I responded by moaning loudly and pushing into him.

My ragged breathing became masked by my cries of pained pleasure. Each connection to my flesh drove my pelvis into his leg, rubbing my sensitive clit. One particularly hard slap to my sits spots resulted in his finger brushing along my dripping slit. I screamed out, nearing orgasm.

As tears started streaming down my cheeks, he paused, sighing quietly. A breath later, his fingers were dancing between my legs, caressing me perfectly.

"Kylo!" I cried out before squirting my juices onto his hand.

My body convulsed for several long moments as I came hard. When I collapsed back over him, he wiped his hand along his pant leg, then cleared his throat.

"Maybe now you can focus on the fact that this is meant to be a punishment?"

"Yes, sir," I replied with breathless elation.

I felt his erection twitch into my side when I spoke and smiled. When he started up again, there was a renewed determination. The strikes were hard and fast. My heightened senses struggled to keep up with the unrelenting pain.

It wasn't long thereafter that the pain finally won out. I clenched my teeth together trying to stop myself from crying out, but I was unable to stop the tears. After several minutes, I finally broke down and sobbed. My limp body couldn't fight back anymore.

Feeling Kylo's arm tighten against me, I braced myself, unsure of what might follow. His hand came down like rapid fire at the tops of my thighs. I screamed out, my body tensing against him. When he finally stopped, my body shook as I cried. For several moments, I felt completely numb. I couldn't understand everything that I was feeling.

When I came back into my senses, I could feel his hand gently stroke my back, and the tears fell harder. It finally resonated that he truly did care for my well-being. This wasn't just some power play or sexual advance. He wanted to drive a point home that my life mattered to him. The pain shifted to my chest, squeezing my heart as I processed everything.

When I started to hyperventilate, Kylo quickly scooped me into his arms, lifting me to his lap carefully and hugging me against his chest. He rocked gently, running his fingers up and down my spine.

Burying my face into him, I inhaled his scent. I absorbed his warmth. I felt how human he could truly be. My hope was fully restored that we could be together. Happily. Fulfilled. Perfectly. A smile pulled at my lips, and my desire to have him took over as the pain in my ass subsided to a dull ache.

Drying my face, I snaked my arm behind his head, aggressively pulling his lips to mine. As his tongue forced its way past my teeth, I shifted to straddle him. His arms locked around me, pressing our bodies flush, then he stood.

When he set me gently on the bed, I quickly removed my last piece of clothing, then watched as he started to undress.

He kicked his boots off, then slowly started to peel off his shirt. His speed was excruciating slow for how much I yearned for him.

"Kylooooooo," I half whined.

He chuckled softly as he tossed his shirt aside. My eyes traced along his scar, starting from the bottom and following it up his face. When my eyes met his, his need was as evident as mine felt. In a blink, he shot onto the bed, slamming his mouth into mine. I fumbled around with his pants, trying desperately to remove them.

He grabbed my wrists, pinning my arms above my head then smirked. Raising an eyebrow, he lowered himself to my collarbone, gently kissing along it. Overcome with intense pleasure, I didn't realize the reasoning behind his expression at first. A second later, it struck me.

"KYLO REN!" I shouted, struggling against his grip. "Were you listening to my conversation?!"

He pulled back his lips, tracing his teeth along my chest before sucking in the flesh at the top of my breast. I moaned, trying to focus on being angry at his lack of privacy.

"You can't. Keep doing that," I said between hitched breaths.

He responded by dragging his tongue along my skin, nipping at my nipple. Then he kissed back up, coming up my neck, following along my chin and pausing to look innocently into my eyes.

"Can you forgive me for wanting to know if you'd tell him?"

He softly pressed his lips to my own then released my hands to trace the curves of my body. My skin filled with goosebumps, and I groaned loudly.

"I..." I started, gasping when his fingers trailed between my legs.

He snickered.

"I take that as a yes."

I growled, pushing him up and yanking at his pants. At first, he laughed at my attempt, then he took my hands and guided them to the zipper. I continued to fumble, my body exposing how affected I was by him. He seemed to realize and pinned my hands back above my head as he swiftly finished disrobing with one hand.

A fire of passion passed through his gaze while he gently stretched me as he entered. My slick walls instantly contracted against him, and he grunted, forcing himself deeper. I squirmed, needing all of him. When he was finally flush against me, I cried out. He was surprisingly gentle as he started rocking his hips.

"Need you. Harder," I moaned, wrapping my legs around him.

"Fuck," he grunted, changing his pace so that he was slamming into me.

Listening to his moans of pleasure was quickly bringing me to climax again. I arched my back, writhing beneath him. He released my hands, caressing my body. I dragged my nails down his toned back, causing him to groan loudly.

"KYLO!" I shouted as I rolled through an intense orgasm.

I squeezed his flesh hard; he responded by becoming more focused on pushing me further into bliss. He lifted me, shifted our bodies, and I nearly passed out as he made direct contact with my G spot.

He placed me in a way that didn't require much effort from me while seemingly achieving maximum pleasure for both of us. As he slowly edged me to another climax, he finally let himself go. He was able to time it to perfectly reach our peaks in unison.

When he collapsed breathlessly next to me, I shakily propped myself up to kiss him gently. He smiled sweetly when I pulled away, removing hair from my sweaty forehead.

"Let's get cleaned up and have something to eat," he practically whispered.

I shivered, my heart swelling with the gentleness he possessed.

"Alright."

He smirked, scooping me into his arms and taking me to the shower. The hot water cascaded over me as I clung to Kylo, trying to regain control over my shaking muscles.

He continued to support me as we washed away our worries, his fingers gliding along my flesh. My lips eventually found his again, my tongue forcing its way deep into his mouth.

Eventually, we made our way out of the shower. I slipped into some pajamas, watching as a shirtless Kylo demanded food to be brought to his room immediately. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him as his cold demeanor completely took over.

"Food will be here soon," he informed me, his voice still icy.

"Okay," I said calmly, my eyes fixed on the muscles in his back.

As we waited for the food to arrive, he silently paced the room. I placed myself to stand out of the sightline of the door, sensing Kylo's unease. His complete flip of attitude from even just fifteen minutes ago was astounding. There was no more sign of the gentle person I had just been intimate with. He was back to the cold, brooding Supreme Leader.

Shortly after, there was a gentle knock on the door. Kylo crossed the room in two large strides, throwing open the door and snatching the food. Without so much as a thank you, he slammed the door in the person's face, bringing it back to the table I had taken the chair from earlier.

Kylo set the food down, finally looking to me for the first time since he called for it. The kindness returned to his eyes the moment he looked into mine.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

He tilted his head and frowned for a moment.

"They don't deserve to see me as anything except their leader. If I display any signs of weakness to anyone aside from you, it could mean my death. I won't put you in danger by having my own life threatened. I will take down anyone who poses a threat to you or me."

His eyes flashed with impassioned anger for a brief moment, and then he relaxed again, smiling gently at me.

"But let's not worry about that right now. Let's eat and enjoy the time we have together," he added, kissing my hand.

I smiled at him, sighing quietly when he looked away from me. This was going to be more of a challenge than I thought, but seeing him in his vulnerable form made it entirely worth it. I knew Ben was still in there somewhere, and I was willing to do anything to bring him back.

The food that had been brought to us was decent. It was nothing compared to what HR had been making for me, but I was famished. I quickly inhaled all of my food. When I looked up, Kylo still had half a plate left. He was watching me, trying to hide a smile.

I blushed.

"I guess I worked up a bit of an appetite."

He reached out, brushing my cheek lightly.

"Let's go lay down."

"But you haven't finished your food!" I practically shouted as he scooped me up into his arms.

"Hush. You're exhausted. Let me comfort you."

"Ugh," I replied, hiding my blush in his chest.

As he gently placed me between the silken sheets, I moaned. It felt like a smooth cloud. When he climbed in next to me, I instantly rolled over, wrapping myself around him. His arms closed around me, holding me tightly against him.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, Astra," he quietly said back.