Memories of the past

Would you take a fresh start?

Hope they never leave like the last

Would you keep the same heart? - General Mumble, Now or Never

"I don't plan on surviving to the end." With those low, parting words, Ryoma Hoshi left the gym sullenly, leaving his classmates to discuss his sudden words to themselves. He didn't want to stick around and be a burden to them, nor did he want them to deal with someone like him. A killer.

After their first class trial, Monokuma had given the remaining students "prizes" for surviving the trial. They unlocked new areas in the school including other Ultimate labs, such as his own, the Ultimate Tennis Pro's lab. Ryoma had no plans on being in there at all. He gave up tennis a long time ago, after his crime of wiping out a mafia equipped with just his tennis skills and an iron ball, and being tossed in prison as a result. There was no good reason for him to play again. It was useless.

Lost in his thoughts, instead of going to his room like he planned, Ryoma found himself wandering to the pool area that had just opened up. It was a quiet, sunny place away from his more excitable and louder peers, and he could just leave if someone came in there with him.

o0o

Ryoma sat at the edge of the deep end of the pool, thinking about what he and the rest of his class had just seen in the Flashback Light they activated in the gym. Apparently the strange, flashlight-like device was the key to their missing memories, which the students had woken up in the school without. He had speculated that the killing game that the 16, now 14, of them were put in could be the work of the Ultimate Hunt, the group that was chasing them down in the memory they had gained from the light. What confused him the most was that weird helmet from some sort of machine he was attached to. Something about not wanting to live, and wanting to die with everyone else? Hmph, how oddly fitting.

As much as he tried to remember more, he couldn't, so it seems there was no point in lingering on it for now. If there were still more of their memories missing, it's possible they were going to be given more of these Flashback Lights in the future. If he really cared about that.

As he stood up to leave, Ryoma made an improper step on the edge of the pool. He lost his footing, slipping and falling back first into the water.

He sank beneath the surface instantly. He tried to swim back up, but his thick leather jacket weighed him down, and the chain around his left ankle made it near impossible to move his legs quickly. He tried holding his breath, but it didn't last long, letting go after a few seconds. The surface drifted further away from him as he sank underwater.

Even though he didn't have a reason to live anymore, this wasn't exactly the way he was expecting to go out. It wasn't particularly pleasant, as each breath of air he was losing were a cloud of bubbles drifting in the opposite direction away from him, and water was painfully making its way into his airways through his mouth and nose every time he subconsciously tried to breathe.

His chest burned as he was running out of air. He struggled to swim again, thrashing and kicking desperately as his survival instincts began to kick in. That only spent more of his energy, his struggling seeming to only make him sink faster and deeper into the pool.

Ryoma's vision was starting to darken and blur, still trying to fight for air as he reached out his hand towards the surface, as if someone would come and pull him out of the water. His muffled struggles to breathe went unheard, more bubbles leaving him. He began to stop flailing about helplessly, the loss of oxygen making him tired.

So this is what it felt like to drown.

At least he figured a class trial wouldn't occur, but he supposed he'd be breaking one of the pool rules, the "Do not die from slipping" rule. Although, he wasn't exactly sure what Monokuma was going to do about it if he were dead.

Losing his last bubbles of air, he felt water rush into his lungs, his world going black as he lost consciousness.

...Seems like he still had a ways to go...

... ... ...

... ...

...

"..."

"...y...ma...!"

...He heard a faint voice calling out to him, but he couldn't make it out...

Wha...

Ryoma suddenly started coughing harshly, water leaving his lungs and spewing from his mouth as he took in air.

He could breathe...?

He opened his rounded eyes and saw a figure through his blurry vision.

Shu...ichi...?

He weakly reached his hands up and rubbed at his eyes. His vision cleared up a little more as he looked up at the detective looming over him, dripping wet, and his ahoge in his dark, raven-colored hair was drooping. His black gakuran was off, his white blouse underneath being soaked and having the sleeves rolled up.

...Did he save him?

"Ryoma! A-Are you okay?!" He lifted his slightly limp body up off of the floor a little, looking at him with intense worry.

Ryoma coughed up a bit more water before answering Shuichi in a hoarse, strained voice. "Y... Yeah, Shuichi... I-I'm fine." He sat up slowly, wincing in pain as he doubled over coughing, emptying any excess water from his lungs. Shuichi gently rubbed his back, letting him catch his breath.

"H-How did you know I was even here...?" Ryoma rasped, confused.

"I was looking around the school for you. You weren't in your room, and when I came here, I... saw you in the pool..." Shuichi began to explain.

III

After Ryoma left the gym, Shuichi Saihara was becoming a bit concerned. The tennis player proclaimed that he didn't plan on surviving, with Kirumi mentioning that he had stated before that he had no reason to live. Even though Kaito had claimed Ryoma was being a coward, the detective kept silent, as he himself wasn't exactly at his best either.

The one person Shuichi had bonded with, Kaede Akamatsu, was gone within a few days after they woke up here in this school. Executed by Monokuma after she killed Rantaro in an attempt to kill the mastermind of this killing game and save everyone. He blamed himself, if he hadn't noticed her suspicious behavior while they were setting up the cameras to catch the mastermind, he could've prevented her from attempting murder. Before her death, she told him not to be afraid to face the truth, even if it scared him. She had him promise that he would always reveal the truth, that he and his classmates wouldn't let anyone else die, and that they escape the school together as friends. The night before, he visited her lab. Her promise to play him a song would now never come to light, but he promised her would become stronger. Despite that, his mind was still rife with doubt, especially after what he had seen in the Flashback Light.

After the rest of his class went their separate ways for the day, he decided to look for Ryoma. Even though he wasn't feeling any better himself, he didn't want to break Kaede's promise and let something happen to him.

The first place Shuichi checked was the courtyard. Ryoma never really stuck around in places with too many people or too much noise. He hadn't seen him anywhere near the wisterias or the area by the Shrine of Judgment, so he checked the dormitory next.

Ryoma's dorm room was on the lower floor, with a nameplate of himself above his door like everyone else's. Walking up to the door, Shuichi rang the doorbell. No response. He rang it just once more, so as not to irritate his classmate. Nothing happened. The door was locked, but no one was answering. Trusting that he wouldn't purposely ignore him, he figured he wasn't in his room. It was either that, or he were sleeping and he somehow didn't hear his doorbell.

Unlikely that he would be in his or anyone else's research lab, the next place he went to look for him was the pool area. There was more of a likelihood of someone else being there, but he just wanted to be sure.

"Ryoma?" Shuichi called out to him from the pool area's doorway, with no reply. He entered the pool area, with Ryoma nowhere to be seen or heard. He probably shouldn't have to be, but he was getting worried. It was likely his paranoia speaking for him, but someone could easily take advantage of Ryoma's current state to escape the school. He couldn't handle another murder so quickly, not after Kaede was executed just the previous day.

Pushing those thoughts aside before he let them get to him, he decided to go look in the school again. He could be in the library, the game room, or the A/V room, maybe even the dining hall or in his room sleeping like he thought before. His lab was the very last place he thought Ryoma would be, but it was possible, and was better than assuming the worst possible outcome. He didn't want to think about that.

Before he turned to leave, he then spotted small bubbles on the pool water's surface. His detective instincts making him a bit intrigued, he walked over and leaned to look into the pool...

...and saw a small but familiar silhouette under the water.

"R... Ryoma!" He cried out.

Without hesitating, Shuichi removed his gakuran as quickly as he could, rolled up his sleeves, and dove in the pool.

Frantically looking around to find where he spotted Ryoma, he took a deep breath and dove underwater, swimming down to his classmate's still sinking form as fast as his strength could muster. He paddled as hard as he could, not being very athletic making it difficult. Finally making it towards him, he reached out and grabbed one of his small wrists, pulling him closer to him. Ryoma was unconscious, but smaller bubbles of air still leaving him indicated that he had just passed out.

Wrapping his arm around the tennis pro's waist, and with a sidestroke, the detective began to carry him to the surface. He was starting to run out of breath, a few bubbles escaping his mouth as he swam upwards. The extra weight made him a little slower, but he kept pushing forward, the surface eventually within his reach.

Shuichi gasped as he breached the water's surface, tightly holding onto his smaller classmate. Catching his breath, he swam to the shallow edge of the pool and reached out for the ladder. It was difficult climbing it, with one of his arms around Ryoma, but he managed to pull himself out of the pool, and with both arms, carried him further away from it. He quickly but carefully laid the unresponsive tennis player onto the floor and felt for a pulse. He wasn't breathing, but he was still alive, his pulse being a bit weaker than normal.

Shuichi began chest compressions to get him to start breathing again, being careful not to hurt him because of his smaller stature.

After a couple of presses, Ryoma was still unconscious, and didn't show any signs of stirring or breathing at all yet.

"Ryoma! Ryoma!" Shuichi cried as he shook his lifeless body. He didn't care if anyone heard him. It would be better if someone did, in fact. He'd have more help that way, especially if it was someone with more experience with something like this. He hadn't heard anyone coming, so he was on his own.

Shuichi continued pressing on the tennis pro's chest, hoping and begging that he wasn't too late.

A few more desperate presses later, the smaller boy suddenly started coughing up water. Shuichi breathed a sigh of relief as Ryoma started taking shallow breaths and slowly opened his eyes.

III

Shuichi glanced at Ryoma with concern as he finished explaining. "What happened? You..." He trailed off.

"I was sitting at the edge of the pool when I came in here. I wasn't watching where I was going when I got up, and I slipped and fell in. That's all there is to it. I wouldn't let it end like that so easily." Ryoma answered directly.

"Ah..." Shuichi figured he wouldn't purposely do something that could potentially lead to a class trial. Ryoma was distant, but he was kind-hearted, thinking about the advice he gave him shortly after they started investigating the new areas of the school. He knew Ryoma wouldn't admit it, but he genuinely cares about the others despite how badly he labels himself as a horrible, unforgivable murderer.

"Why were you looking for me anyway? ...And why bother saving someone like me?" Ryoma asked as he peeled off his wet jacket and his pointed beanie that had miraculously stayed on when he was underwater.

"Because I... I just wanted to talk to you. You're my classmate, Ryoma, and I was worried about you. I made a promise to Kaede... that we would all stick together and be friends, and escape this killing game. I'd be breaking her promise if I let you get hurt."

"..." Ryoma stayed silent, unable to think of a response. He sat with his arms wrapped around himself, cold from being wet.

"I'll... help you dry off." He spoke in his usual soft voice.

The former tennis player nodded as Shuichi left to go get some towels from the storage room. The detective's still got a ways to go in terms of being more confident, but he could tell that the boy was trying, exemplified by him no longer wearing his cap, and keeping his head lifted.

Kaede meant a lot to Shuichi, and he was trying to keep her memory alive by keeping her promise. Ryoma respected the pianist's efforts in keeping everyone together in the face of Monokuma's motives, and even someone like him was moved a bit by her words. She never showed any malice to anyone, and even when she was found guilty of killing Rantaro, she didn't justify herself, and it was all in an attempt to kill the mastermind and end the killing game. Before her execution, she had everyone promise to escape together and stay friends, entrusting her wish to Shuichi.

Ryoma didn't have the heart to tell her that, realistically, it wouldn't last. Someone would snap eventually, with Monokuma possibly presenting more and more motives in the future, especially if everyone refused to play the game like last time. He himself didn't have any reason to live after all. It wouldn't have been right for him to say anything and lower everyone's confidence, and definitely not Shuichi's.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft, warm towel being draped over him. Shuichi chuckled softly, holding his own towel in his hands. Ryoma sighed to himself and dried off his face and his short, reddish hair. Aside from Shuichi's still dry gakuran, they'd have to ask Kirumi to dry their clothes later. The Ultimate Maid's lab was also open, and it contained cleaning supplies as well as washing machines and dryers for laundry.

"I didn't know you had an ear piercing." Shuichi sat next to Ryoma, drying off his own hair. His ahoge sprang back to life, standing up the way it usually would. Ryoma found it a bit amusing how a single strand of hair could stand in place like that. "Yeah." He reached up his hand to the cartilage piercing in his right ear. It had been a long time ago since he had gotten it, and sometimes he found himself forgetting that it was there, since his beanie always kept it out of sight. Steering away from the topic, he decided to ask Shuichi what he had been meaning to ask for a bit.

"What did you even want to talk to me about? Did you come to lecture me about not having a reason to live?" Ryoma asked in a more neutral tone. "A-Ah, it's nothing like that at all." Shuichi deflated a bit. "I just wanted to talk to you, Ryoma."

They chatted for a bit, and Shuichi had gotten Ryoma to talk a bit about his tennis days, such as his friends from his school's tennis club. He talked about his team's captain and his "zone" technique, where he could stand in one place and constantly return the ball, and an upperclassman who made them drink a disgusting, bizarre tasting vegetable juice. He didn't know what Shuichi's game was, and it was a place he had nothing to do with anymore, but it didn't seem like he was trying to pry into his business like Ryoma thought he was. He just had to make sure neither of them were getting too attached, he shouldn't hang around someone like him after all.

After Ryoma was able to regain enough strength to walk, they left the pool area and went back to their dorms. Drying off completely and changing into new clothes, they left to go ask Kirumi to dry their clothes. The maid was in her lab doing the other students' laundry. They explained to her what happened in the pool area, and she accepted the request nonetheless. Ryoma just asked her not to tell anyone else about it, as he didn't want anybody pestering him about everything that happened that day.

There was no infirmary or nurse's office they could go in to check if there was anything wrong with Ryoma after he nearly drowned, so they were hoping nothing else would come up. Although Kirumi had medical experience from her many jobs as a maid, she didn't have the proper means or tools to check his condition. After they left Kirumi to do the rest of her laundry, he and Shuichi went their separate ways.

Ryoma left to go get more candy cigarettes from the MonoMono Machine in the school store, since his current box of them was soaked and soggy from the pool water, and sadly had to be thrown out. His Monopad was fine though, he imagined they'd be sturdy enough since all of the students needed to have one, and he was sure Monokuma wouldn't be too pleased with having to replace his if it did break. After he left the store and had lunch with the rest of his class, he went downstairs to the library. It was another quiet place, and at least he was sure he wouldn't get into any more accidents there.

By the looks of it, either Monokuma or the mastermind had cleaned up the previous crime scene, as the library was back to how it used to look before, save for the piles of books still lying around. The body of Rantaro Amami, which was gone as well, was found here, lying bloodied on the ground from a shot put ball to the head. Before Rantaro left for the library, the mystery-talented boy claimed he had an idea on ending this game. He stopped Ryoma from sacrificing himself to save everyone else from the time limit motive, the First Blood Perk motive allowing Ryoma's killer to escape without a trial and get help. Rantaro had come to the library somehow knowing about the hidden door that led to where the mastermind was hiding. Ryoma always had the feeling that Rantaro knew a lot more than what he was letting on, and he knew he wasn't the only one who thought so.

It was far too late to ask him, as he got caught up in Kaede's trap to kill the mastermind, and was killed by it instead, the falling shot put ball taking his life and knowledge with him. He died not knowing or remembering his Ultimate talent, or with any of his memories restored.

Leaving those thoughts behind, Ryoma leaned against one of the bookcases, hands in his new jacket's pockets. He was still a bit weak from earlier, but he could still walk and stand on his own. The events from the pool area were replaying constantly in his head. He'd seen plenty of horrifying things in his short life (Ryoma snorted at the accidental pun). He offed the mafia one by one, witnessing them die by his own blood-stained hands. The things he had seen during his time in prison would scar anybody. He didn't even want to live anymore.

But those few moments of him drowning in the pool were sticking with him. Those moments of him forcibly staring back up at the surface, air bubbles leaving his mouth and nose as he helplessly sank.

He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the insides of his pockets. He didn't get it. Isn't that what he wanted? He understood that it was within his human instincts to try and survive, but the thought of dying that way gave him an uncharacteristically small chill. It was like a sudden primal fear enveloping him. Perhaps actually experiencing something close to death so slowly and painfully unwillingly scared him, as much as he didn't want to live at all. He found himself suddenly feeling a bit lucky that Shuichi showed up and saved his life. The mind works in mysterious ways.

His anxiety dissipated when he heard the sound of the library's front entrance door opening.

"Ah, Ryoma? I thought you would be resting."

As if thinking about him made him appear, Shuichi walked into the library. He was right, he should be resting, sleeping even. But his earlier thoughts were keeping him occupied, and he needed to keep his mind off of them. "I probably should be, but I didn't feel like it." Ryoma spoke a half truth in his deep, baritone voice.

Shuichi noticed the library's crime scene was pristine. "Huh? Did Monokuma clean up the evidence from the last trial? Everything's back to the way it was before, even the books Kaede set up. Rantaro's body is gone, too."

"Yeah. It's probably for the better, don't want that stuff just lying around in the library, especially not a corpse."

"Yea... Yeah..." Shuichi internally flinched at the last part of his words and drifted his eyes downward. Ryoma caught his sudden change in demeanor. "Don't blame yourself, kid. There wasn't any way you could've noticed Kaede setting up her trap. You trusted her, right?"

"Yeah, I did..." Shuichi stated, not questioning being called "kid" despite being around his age.

"Then it's only natural you wouldn't be suspicious of her. You put your faith in her, and she put her faith in your skills as the Ultimate Detective. Because of you two, we've got a hint on where the mastermind could be. No matter how much we think we can, we can't change the past. I think she'd want you to be a bit more confident."

Shuichi smiled warmly. "...Thanks, Ryoma. That makes me feel a little bit better." He took his eyes off the ground and looked back at the shorter boy.

"Hmph... Sorry if I worded what I said before a bit too harshly." Ryoma sighed and took out his new box of candy cigarettes. "Why did you come to the library anyway?" He asked as he fiddled with a candy cigarette before placing it in his mouth.

"Oh, uh, I wanted to check the hidden door again. I had placed dust on the door's card reader before to see if the mastermind would use it at all. It's possible that they may have used it after the first trial."

"I remember you said you did that. Seems pretty likely to me." Ryoma stepped back as Shuichi approached the bookcase, opening it up with a rumbling noise to reveal a half-black, half-white patterned door. He checked the card reader to see if the dust on it had fallen, only to find that the dust was still there.

"Huh, looks like they haven't touched it at all since then." Ryoma felt a bit silly for stating the obvious. "They were probably banking on us checking the card reader again."

"Yeah, but," Shuichi turned his attention to Ryoma as he closed the bookcase, "the mastermind must have another way of getting in. They wouldn't have a hideout to themselves if they weren't going to use it."

"Or it could be that they're trying to mislead us, like a diversion. Make us think that this hidden room is important to distract us so that we never find out where they really are in the school. It's just a possibility though, so don't take it at face value. Sounds like a lot of effort." Ryoma said, arms folded.

Shuichi nodded. "I know. I'll keep that in mind." The tennis pro was incredibly sharp and intelligent, he noticed. His deductions during the class trial, speculations about the Ultimate Hunt in the gym, and his ability to notice subtle changes in people made him think Ryoma was something of a detective himself. "Actually, I wanted to ask you more about what the Ultimate Hunt could be about." He straightened his posture.

Ryoma shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, do what ya want, if it'll help you." They spent some time speculating about the Ultimate Hunt, and about the contents of the Flashback Light. A few minutes passed before their discussion ended.

"In any case, I'm gonna head back to my room." Stretching and placing his hands back in pockets, he turned to leave the library. "See ya later, I guess."

"Ah, Ryoma, wait! I... actually wanted to talk to you again." Shuichi stopped him with a bit of a sheepish expression.

"Hm?" Ryoma turned back to Shuichi, a little perplexed. "I don't think there's anything left for us to talk about."

"No I mean... I was just thinking about how fun your tennis stories were."

"My... tennis stories?"

Even though Ryoma was a bit reluctant, Shuichi convinced him to tell him more about his time in his tennis club. He talked about his rivals this time, such as a guy who broke his captain's "zone", and a technique he faced where he claimed all five of his senses were stolen. Shuichi asked how he got his senses back, but Ryoma told him his common sense shouldn't be applied everywhere.

Ryoma finished telling his stories. Despite everything he told Shuichi, he said that he didn't want to remember anything he felt was best left forgotten. He felt himself getting uncharacteristically emotional, so with a "see ya", he turned and somberly walked back to his room, the detective feeling bad for the crestfallen tennis player. He knew that Ryoma was really struggling with his passion for tennis, and his feelings.

After their second conversation of the day, the class ate dinner together, and night eventually fell. The nighttime announcement from the Monokubs rang out on the monitors around the school, and the students headed to their rooms for the night.

Taking his leather jacket off, Ryoma stood in his room, processing everything that happened that day. He talked with his classmate Shuichi about tennis a lot, surprisingly to him, and they speculated about the mastermind and the Ultimate Hunt. But, before any of that, he nearly drowned in the pool, and the detective saved his life at the last minute. He said he didn't want to survive to the end, and he still fully believed that. He didn't have a reason to, and there wasn't anything that would change that. Or at least, that's what he kept telling himself. The slight fear he felt from earlier was still gnawing at him like a termite to wood. He grimaced and gritted his teeth with his mouth closed.

He forcibly willed those thoughts to the back of his mind and got in his bed. He always slept in his prison jumpsuit, just like how he always did while he was in prison. He would always change into a new one every morning, since everyone's entire wardrobe had copies of their exact same clothing. Ryoma thought it strange, it was almost like in a TV show or cartoon where the characters would always wear the same clothes everyday to make them recognizable to the viewer. Everyone knew what each other looked like, so he didn't see the point of it. What even was this school...?

Derailing that train of thought, he lay down and wrapped himself in his comforter. At least he had a somewhat proper room and bed, compared to the blank walls of his prison cell and the hard, uncomfortable bed in it. This bed was soft and warm, and he was able to keep things like potted plants and other stuff in his room. As much as the prisoner hated to admit it, he didn't mind getting used to it. He just wished it didn't involve being trapped in a killing game with 13 other people.

Suddenly succumbing to the tiredness and fatigue he'd been ignoring since the incident in the pool area, Ryoma drifted off to sleep. Unbeknownst to him, something major was brewing in the background. Something that would change the course of his fate and his life at the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles.