Guilt.

Above all the feelings ragging inside her chest, threatening to suffocate and snuff her ability to form a clear thought, guilt reared its hideous head above everything else. Following it, as if it were a dark shadow, was regret, the type that tightens your chest to painful proportions, not allowing you to speak or breathe properly. Burying her face in a pair of shaky hands, Talia felt as if London was collapsing onto her body with every passing second. It was all due to her, everything was circling back to her like a vicious vulture waiting for its prey to give out its last breath and Talbott was right there in the middle of everything, with her because after all said and done, he had no choice.

Too deep, he was in way too deep.

And it was far too late to get him to back down.

By the time they left for the inn, both were painfully silent, side glances spared from time to time, nothing else transpiring. The room would suffice for a week, they would eat out, they would continue training. It was simple, them against the world.

Bill had tried to reason with them, help further, however even he gave up around two in the morning. If Talia was a stubborn one, Talbott proved to be worse once his mind was set on something. He would not bend or break, no expression betraying what he was actually feeling.

Only he knew, several trips to the bathroom attesting to the turmoil inside his chest. He either felt as if he was sick to the stomach, anxiety eating away at him. He would then shift, feeling his body temperature rising whenever his mind went back to Lazlo and Talia, splashing his face and neck with cold water, trying to reason with himself. However the heart overruled logic and the torturous process would once again begin. As if the night was never ending.

Getting off the elevator, turning the corner leading to the training rooms, voices reached their ears, a heated argument being held between Finnemore and Moody. The mechanical eye in his socket moved all over the place, while the other one glared at her relentlessly. Approaching, Talia and Talbott both groaned almost in unison, Tonks pushing herself away from the wall she was leaning against, offering a small smile, a finger pointing at the two Aurors, shrugging her shoulders.

Talia almost winched when Moody raised his voice, a migraine threatening to make its place inside her skull "You can't afford to be dilly-dallying, every moment wasted will make a difference." Finnemore raised her hand in protest as Moody's staff hit the floor under their feet "Don't you roll your eyes at me."

Flipping her dreadlocks, she purposely allowed for them to hit him across the face, Moody looking ready to cast Incendio at her head and be done with the entire situation on her attitude "You have no say in this, she is my student, not yours."

Moody knew well enough she was right, however that did not make for a better situation. Glancing over at the Aurors in training, his eyes locked in on Talia, quickly taking note of circles darkening her pale skin, that tired expression on her face dimming her entire aura. Glancing behind her, Talbott looked just as worn out. Two things he knew for certainty, something happened and his student would be of no use that day "I agreed to let you train her because I believe you're a good Auror, but you are not seeing the bigger picture."

Her eyes squinted slightly at the statement leaving his colleague "And that is?" she raised a thin brow "What about her makes you act like this?" turning to look at Talia, she waited, however the answer never came from either of them "No bother Alastor, however I am handling this, and I do it differently. Ta." Flashing him a charming smile, she turned her full attention to Talia "Come on, today I wish to try something else."

"I think I got that." She uttered as Finnemore's heels clicked on the marbled floor, further digging the pain in her brain. Talbott proceeded to make his way to the training room to which Moody furiously pointed at and he knew that day was going to be horrific. He did not spare a glance, forcing himself to just concentrate on the tasks he had to do and endure.

Yet he did not fail to notice Moody shaking his head at Talia, uttering something under his breath before he directed his eyes at him "Move it Winger, we got a lot of work to do today."

Once the door to the training room closed, it was then when Talia decided to go after her trainer. With one simple glance, it felt like she was back at camp, with her trying to read into what she was thinking and feeling, her adamant in not revealing anything "Finally, come, I know a café."

A café?

Talia raised her brows, however the thought of a coffee warmed her inside. She did not even get a chance to drink one that morning, mostly because she refused to leave her room until the time for their departure came. However curiosity won over everything "What's the reason for this? I must say I agree with Moody, we can't afford to lose time."

Tapping a perfectly manicured finger against her dark painted lips, Mirunna smirked "Well you see here I don't share the same train of thought as you two. It's clear you like your secrets, but since I am your trainer and I am not in on your merry band, you do things how I want them, yeah?" the way Talia looked at her was enough to make anyone's knees weak, yet it spoke to her. It revealed the seriousness of situation.

She kept to herself until they reached their destination, partially because she did not wish to say anything while inside the Ministry. As they took a seat at the café terrace however, Finnemore turned a pair of vigilant eyes towards Talia "I understood why you had this attitude while at the training camp. Now however it makes me worry."

"Worry?" Talia almost scoffed, arms crossing over her chest before frowning. It was not a gesture she used to display, this was borrowed and performed at an almost unconscious level from seeing Talbott do it so many times "I need you to train me, not worry for me. If not, I'm sure Moody will be willing to also take me on."

Smirking, she extended a hand to touch the Phoenix pin securing Talia's shawl "Of that I'm sure, but in the end I won that argument and became your trainer." Lifting her eyes, she offered Talia a smile despite one not being returned. Retracting her hand, she thanked the waiter before pulling from her bag a flask, pouring the content into both cups.

"It's barely eight in the morning Mirrunna." Talia rolled her eyes when the alcohol vapours reached her nostrils, however her trainer appeared to not pay her any mind.

Taking a sip, she stirred one more spoon full of sugar before deciding the coffee was to her liking "Can I see it?" Talia's eyes turned to dangerous slits as she continued to churn in her head the reason behind her question. Placing her hands on her lap, she sat back nodding, however her muscled tensed, magic coursing through her veins, ready to strike at any moment.

"Try it and see what happens." A warning if she ever saw one, despite the apparently relaxed pose her student took on.

"Alright, I see." Finnemore sighed, almost as if she regretted asking to see it, Talia finally relaxing a tad, lifting the cup to her lips which to her surprise actually tasted good "I've been trying to understand, find the reason behind Jasper's actions." Bringing her bag closer, she pulled out a file "I don't know what to look for, but you might do."

Talia almost dropped the cup as she saw the name scribbled on the file, questions swimming in her eyes as she stared at Finnemore "Why are you giving me Jasper's file?"

Finnemore almost tried to look away before sighing "I failed to save him when we were younger. I failed to save you and the other recruits. Consider this an apology." Before Talia could take the file, she retracted it "You read it here, then I need to return it, do you understand?"

A single nod, as the thick carton binding slipped between her long fingers, eyes casting on the writing displayed on the papers "You once told me you cared for him." Which was true. Jasper had not always been a follower, had not always been this cruel man. He was once a sweet boy, shy more than anything, willing to always help others despite stuttering when he was nervous and stepped up to defend someone. Unfortunately, many of the children born in pure blood families had Death Eater parents. Their sins spread onto their off-springs like a devastating disease.

In the end it did not matter what side they were on, the children always suffered. If they opposed Voldermort or followed him, the outcome would generally tragically affect them.

The children…

Talia scanned the words multiple times, flipping through the papers however there was no more information on it. Jasper had a sister, one year older than herself. There was a record of his mother giving birth, but no records of her name, life, nothing. It hit her in the pits of her stomach, question burning: how many more children had to suffer through what she did? Yet the next question surfacing made her skin crawl: how many died during the process?

Constantine Crane came up with the ritual, however it must have had its flaws at the beginning. Of course he would not test it on his own blood and fail, he had others do it for him.

Closing the file, she returned it, Mirunna's eyes widening slightly "Well that was fast, was it not?"

Shaking her head, Talia tried to keep a normal breathing pattern "He is nothing but a pawn in a larger game, useless really, too emotional." Getting up from the table, she stared down at her trainer "Unfortunately I too have allowed certain emotions to take root." Placing some money near her cup she picked up her own bag "I have to be somewhere else, please tell Talbott I am visit some family. Enjoy your free day."

"You are not getting a free day Talia, let me make that very clear." She rose, the cups clattering slightly on the table.

"You stole his file and you dare threaten me? You wanted me to see something because even if you can't admit it you still care for him." Pointing a finger at her, Talia's eyes darkened "Now step down and let me have this day. I know why he changed back when you were in school, you were right, there was something good in him at one point, but ever since that moment he had been trying mercilessly to kill that part." Getting closer, she whispered in her ear "Stay away from this, because the closer you get, the more danger you will attract."

Catching Talia by the arm, she did not allow for her to create distance "Who are you? Why was he targeting you?"

A low chuckle reverberated throughout her body "Because monsters attract monsters Mirunna." Forcing herself out of her grasp, she just gave her a curt nod before turning away to leave. She would have to deal with her sooner rather than later, however there was somewhere else she had to be.

Finnemore continued to watch Talia until she was out of sight, another heavy sigh leaving her chest once she sat down. She chose her because she saw in her eyes what she had seen in Jasper's long ago. There was potential for good, yet there was so much darkness that most of the time overruled that small dose of positivity. Glancing over at the file, she had it already memorised "What did you see Talia?"

By the time she had made her way back to the Ministry and placed the file back without anyone finding out it was missing in the first place, Moody was yelling out commands by the dozen, both Tonks and Talbott having a hard time keeping up "Ten minute break, then we go again." Moody almost bumped into her as he stormed out of the training room "What?"

"Alastor, we really need to talk and I need you to be honest with me." Closing the door behind him, his brows furrowed when Finnemore spoke again "Why were you so adamant in training Talia?" shaking his head, he said nothing in return "I am well aware you know more and I need to know what I am up against."

"You should have asked yourself that before you decided to take her on. You wanted to bring out the humane part in her, but the girl doesn't need that." She stood there, mouth opened slightly, not believing her ears "She needs more focus, she…where is she Mirunna?"

That reply came quickly "Went to visit some family." However Moody felt like he was about to explode, however there were too many ears. Urging her to enter the training room, he tried to keep a low tone.

Ignoring the recruits in the room he continued the conversation from before "She has no family Mirunna, at least none that are walking freely about. What did you do?"

She blinked a couple of times before shaking her head "A mistake it seems, I showed her Munday's file."

"Bloody brilliant, good on you!" footsteps approaching made both of them turn, Talbott walking closer to them, holding onto his sides, wincing at the pain radiating through his body. He hesitated a moment, not knowing if he should relate his thoughts or not "Out with it Winger."

"There is someone she considers family, her godfather." Both trainers continued to watch him struggle with the memory of Snape. His eyes set on Mirunna, a harsh glimmer in them telling Moody he did not trust her entirely "Why are stirring her up more? What are you getting out of this?"

"Careful boy, that's no way to talk to your superior." Moody stepped between them as if he was trying to stop a fight from breaking out "She's on our side, she just doesn't understand." However he still turned to look at his Auror colleague "And it's not up to us to share her secrets, trust me, the less that know the better."

"Is it? Because it looks to me that this secret is killing her inside." She took a step forward, right in Moody's face "And you all appear to be treating her as if she was some kind of weapon, when in reality she is just a girl. And she's a mess Alastor." Clicking her tongue, she shook her head "No matter, I will get help somewhere else."

A five hour train ride later, Talia stepped on the worn out pavement at the Cokeworth train station, it being years since she had last seen the town, as she walked through the identical streets in search for Spinner's road, it appeared that time had stopped for the gloomy little town.

Despite the sunny weather in London, now that she was so far away, it appeared as if she travelled in another country, with different weather altogether. Still it was as she remembered it, always covered by the curtain of heavy fog due to being so close to the water. The foul smell emanating from the river banks appeared to stick to everything it touched, Talia feeling the need to wrap the shawl closer to her body, despite not being cold.

From the room Snape kept her in, she could see outside the window, however the scenery never changed, apart from light grey to pitch darkness when night settled upon the desolated town. A place she never once called home, she knew well enough where she was and in case she fell out of line and dared to hope, her god father would put her right back in her place.

She had never been like the normal children, she could hear them playing on the dirty streets, giggling and laughing as they kicked a ball around or played catch, yet she always sat near the fireplace, reading on various subjects Snape would quiz her on, or practiced potion making. She would look out the streets, ask questions about the games the other children were playing, answers being delivered alongside the reminder that she is not a normal person and she would never be.

Once however he brought her a doll, placing it in her small hands for her to play with. He did it because he felt bad for always denying her everything, for keeping her locked inside too much. All Talia did was turn it over once before placing it back in the bag it came with, eyes travelling to Snape telling him she is not a child. A test, she always believed everything was a test and as much as tears bit at her eyes since she wanted to play with it, she refused the gift, knowing her answer and actions were the correct ones.

The streets were sprinkled with the ghosts of her memories. The small bakery, where she would always go with exact money as to not dwell too much while the old owner searched through the money drawer with thick trembling fingers, she had to be back in exactly ten minutes if not less, Snape always sitting by the window to watch her come and go.

The antique shop that always fascinated her, but he also had a wide collection in his home, items she all knew by heart, with their various attributes, purposes and magical abilities. The book store, despite it not having many new additions to it. The two clothes shops, always gloomy, the fabric smelling like damp, a fact that she hated, they always needed to wash the clothes a couple of times to take the smell out and by then the fabric would present new holes, ones she had learned to sew.

Just like in her younger years, she hid her bright hair under the dark shawl and bowed her head, not wishing to attract unwanted attention and stares. She kept her eyes lowered, paying attention where she placed her feet. People did not need to look her in the eye, should not.

Once in front of his door, a single knock resonated within the house, footsteps soon following as Snape made his way downstairs "What are you doing here?" pulling her inside, he checked the streets for anyone that might have been following her, the door soon closing, multiple locks being turned as Talia removed her shawl.

Snape took one look at her scar, before looking at her face "I know you said you have others to take care of, but this isn't something that could have been discussed over letters. I won't be long, I promise." Making their way to the kitchen, Talia helped herself to making a coffee, items being in exactly the same spot she remembered them "How many children had to go through the same process as me?"

Taking a seat at the table, he tapped his finger on the wood, Talia turning to see his stone cold eyes staring daggers her direction "I don't hold that information, I don't know all the people your parents spoke to and it's not relevant."

Cocking a brow, the corners of her lips twitched "How so? Munday clearly knew and I believe he had a sister that was used for the same process. It is relevant as it could tell me where to look for the enemy."

He almost had a good mind to get up and yank her by the hair "Everyone is an enemy." The idea cementing in his head further as she shook her head, denying his words, making him frown "Winger again? Surprised the scared boy is still around." He continued to watch her trying to remain calm, however there were one too many signs that betrayed her feelings for him. And even if she had not related to him the stories that brought an end to the Auror training camp, he had heard them "You had a chance to escape, yet you went and risked everything."

"He would have died Severus." She did not flinch when he got up, open palms hitting the table surface, hair going in his face.

"And you?" he pointed a hand to her latest scar "What about your life? Are you that willing to throw caution to the wind?"

Heavy silence filled the room, the water in the pot bubbling before she slowly turned to add coffee, letting it reach a boil one more time before pulling it off the stove "You were once willing to do anything for the woman you loved." She did not need to turn around to know the face he made. Talia dipped her head, voice losing any edge it could possibly have "Please Severus, I don't know what to do." Racking a shaky hand through her hair, long nails dug in her scalp as she turned back to him "I mean I do, I would if I was alone. But now? I fear for his life more than I do for mine." Lifting her eyes, clarity shinned through "I would trade my life for his."

Snape clicked his tongue, appalled at the words leaving her mouth, averting from her. He could not, would not look at her that very moment. Yet as he considered how she had discarded all he had ever taught her, another haunting thought chilled him to the bone. She was more like him than he ever intended, he actually whished for the opposite to happen "I am so sorry." Was all that he could utter as he locked eyes with her.

Slowly he sat back in his chair, his knees and joints weak and trembling as if with the realisation he had come across, year from his life were stolen. Talia continued to run his words through her head, not being able to believe she heard him right. Clearing her throat, she pushed all ideas to the back of her head as she took out two cups and poured some coffee for themselves, joining him at the table.

"I don't know how many were actually implicated in your father's ritual, but they all needed to be pure bloods. I don't know if there was anyone else that survived. You'd be looking for a needle in the haystack. All I knew then, you do too, I haven't been keeping information for myself." She just nodded, taking his words as they were without contesting them.

"It's too late to run now and the more I want to protect him, the more I feel as if I'm pushing him away." Tears swam in her eyes, making the coffee in front of her blurry "How can Talbott even feel anything for someone like me?"

"Don't be stupid girl!" her eyes snapped to his in an instant "I raised no fool and pitying yourself will be your downfall." She quickly nodded, fingers erasing the signs of weakness previously presented "The best thing you can do for him right now is live. Fight with all that fire and fury I know you have, the one I taught you and just live." Something in his expression faltered, eyes softening a fraction "You would not be any good to him dead, he needs you there, with him, despite it all."

That she could understand, even if eventually Talbott would grow tired of her and the past she had been trying so hard to outrun, any scenario would be better with her alive. He had lost his parents at such a young age and was still blaming himself, she did not want to create another scenario where he would have to suffer another violent loss.

Extending her hand across the table she gave his a gentle squeeze "Thank you for reminding me what's important."

"I'm not." He replied taking away his hand from hers "I'm merely adapting to the choices you made."

Smirking, she took another sip from her coffee "I'll take that."

A couple of hours later, she was back at the old train station, waiting on her next ride home to London. It would be around midnight by the time she would return and she surely knew Talbott was worried sick, even with Finnemore's message.

"Odd to see someone who had been running all her life not use a portkey." The uneven steps alone, followed by the wooden staff and scruffy voice was enough to tell her it was Moody "Didn't want to disturb your discussion though a cuppa would have been nice."

Looking to her left she pointed at the train station "It won't be another hour until the train arrives, I can buy you one, though I would stick with the tea here, the coffee is horrendous. Think they use the river water."

"A pint then. Come." As they sat at the bar, Talia wrinkled her nose seeing the state of the table, however Moody did not seem too bothered by it "Just so you know it took some time to convince Winger to give me anything, he's a stubborn mule that's for certain."

"It would appear so."

Leaning in, he took a good look at her "Now miss secret keeper you have about six hours to tell me everything and depending on how you want to play this, it will either be a very long time or not."

"Well now, how can anyone refuse such a tempting offer?" doing a one over around the bar, she looked back at him, eyes smouldering as embers danced in them "Under one condition."

Scoffing, the eye in his socket rolled "Look at you, acting smug in front of me. Let's hear it then."

"If anything should happen, you save Talbott. Him above me, always." Extending a hand, Moody ran the idea inside his head, before shaking hers, embers in her eyes dying out.

"A deal then."