Disclaimer: I own nothing except the order these words are in, everything else belongs to JKR.
A/N: Oh. My. Fucking. God. Y'all. 27 THOUSAND views?! 1 THOUSAND votes?! What world am I even living in? Thank you so, so, freaking much!
December 5, 1977
Gryffindor Common Room, 5:00 pm
3rd Person POV:
Lily felt like throwing up. The word Mudblood would probably haunt her forever. Sure, in the past, she had been hurt when people had called her the slur. Losing your best friend because he was a bigoted jerk wasn't exactly something that healed overnight. Especially because of how close she and Severus had been.
He had been her first friend. The person who told her all about Hogwarts. He, quite literally, had brought magic into her life.
When he had used it, the word had felt like a knife. She thanked Merlin she didn't actually know what it was like to have a knife in her arm.
As she stood there with the remaining Marauders, frozen with shock over what had occurred, she was coming to the realization that the pain she had felt was probably miniscule compared to Hermione's.
After what felt like an eternity, Sirius finally spoke up, "Fuck."
Immediately, Lily turned her glare on him, "Yeah. Fuck. What the hell did you do that for?"
He looked guilty, "Uhh, I-I dunno."
"Really? You just decided to fucking do, well, whatever the hell that was, and you don't know why?!" Remus all but shouted at him.
Sirius winced, "I, I uh thought she might be a Death Eater." At Remus's incredulous look, he suddenly remembered something, "Hey! You and James thought she might be a Death Eater, too! It wasn't completely my idea!"
Lily's eyes widened and James sighed, sitting down on the table, "No, Pads, but we agreed to be friends with her. We agreed we would just keep an eye out for any suspicious stuff coming from her. What we didn't agree to do was to practically ambush her and then injure her!"
"We were doing those glamours in Charms, and I saw something on her arm! I thought it might be, well, y'know, a Dark Mark or something. I didn't mean to hurt her!"
Lily finally spoke up, "We know that Sirius. She probably knows it, too. However, that doesn't change the fact that what you did was horrible. You're going to have to have a damn good apology."
"I know that!" He groaned, burying his head in his hands.
She awkwardly patted his shoulder, "We all screwed up, we're all going to have to apologize."
"Well," James started, "if there's one thing we did learn, it's that Hermione is definitely not a Death Eater."
Sirius groaned again, "Yeah, Death Eaters probably fucking did that to her."
Lily shivered involuntarily and couldn't help but lean into James when he pulled her closer to him and whispered, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
Glancing at the clock, Remus stood up, "Well, it's getting late, I'm going to bed. I don't think there's a point in finding her and apologizing right now. We should give her time to recuperate after what happened. Y'know, some time to herself."
Nodding, Lily made her way to the stairs to the girls' dorms, "Yeah, we'll find her during or before breakfast or something and apologize then."
The two were soon followed by James and Sirius, and they all lay awake in bed until much later that night, thinking about what had happened.
December 6, 1977
The Great Hall, 8:00 am
3rd Person POV:
"Where is she?" Sirius craned his neck to look at the entrance doors, eyes searching frantically for brown curls.
James shoveled some eggs in his mouth, "Dunno. Hopefully, she'll show up soon, I still feel really bad."
"You should." Lily hit the back of his head, "And chew with your mouth closed. That's disgusting.
James finished chewing and swallowed, "Good morning, Lily-flower!"
"Shut up!" Sirius and Lily cried at the same time.
After glaring at each other for a moment, Sirius groaned, "Where do you think she is?"
"I don't know, mate," Remus rolled his eyes, "if I were to guess, I'd say she, I dunno, she might be avoiding us."
Another chorus of Shut up!'s ensued, and Remus, grinning to himself, went back to his coffee and toast.
Breakfast passed without an appearance from Hermione, and they all rushed to first period (Transfiguration) with the hope of catching her before class started.
However, when the class started without Hermione, they got worried. They got even more worried when it ended without her.
Double potions also passed without any appearance from her – but for some unknown reason, the professors didn't seem concerned. As they headed to lunch, the three boys made a detour to the common room, with the intention of checking the map to see where Hermione was.
Remus quickly opened it and they started scanning the map for her whereabouts. She wasn't in bed in the Gryffindor Tower, she wasn't in the library, not the Great Hall.
James groaned, "Where is she?!"
"I don't kn-Oh!" Remus gasped, "She's in the hospital wing."
Sirius brightened for a moment, but then he winced, "Fuck. She's in the hospital wing."
Remus and James grimaced, before James said, "Well, we should visit her. After all, we put her in there."
After nods of agreement from the other two boys, they made their way to the hospital wing.
December 6, 1977
The Hospital Wing, 12:30 pm
3rd Person POV:
Hermione glared at the ceiling. She was currently lying in a bed in the Hospital Wing, forced to stay there for the rest of the day by Madame Pomfrey. She hadn't wanted to come here in the first place, but the logical side of her brain had won. Hermione had woken up at 5 in the morning in the Room of Requirement, and she had decided to go to the library. As she had been getting dressed, the wound had started bleeding once again.
Thankfully, it hadn't been anywhere near as bad as it had been the night before, but Hermione still couldn't get it to stop, so she had had to go to the Hospital Wing.
Madame Pomfrey had re-bandaged it for her, handed her a love potion, and shoved her into the bed where she was now laying, trying to hold back tears. How did she let it go so wrong?
If Hermione was being honest with herself, she had no idea how the hell she was going to fix it. At least they knew she wasn't a Death Eater now. Some silver lining that is. She sat up, looking around for Madame Pomfrey. When she couldn't find her, Hermione quickly got out of bed, planning on escaping back to the Room of Requirement.
She had made it to the door, when she heard a voice and footsteps outside.
"Do you think she'll accept my apology?"
Fuck. It was Sirius. Although Hermione did plan on forgiving him (after all, if she had been him, she probably would have been extremely suspicious of him, although she definitely wouldn't have done what he had done), Hermione wasn't ready to see him yet.
She looked around frantically, trying to find a place to hide. There was nowhere. Wincing when she heard the footsteps draw closer, she sighed at her only option.
She was still debating whether or not she should do it, when another voice said, "Ready, Pads?" James. And that meant Remus was probably there, too. Taking a deep breath, she crawled back under the bed she had been in, just in time for the door to open and three sets of feet to walk in.
"Huh? Where'd she go?" She heard Remus ask, as they came to a stop in front of her bed.
"Hey! Isn't that her bag?"
Damnit. Her beaded bag was still on the nightstand.
"Maybe she went to the bathroom," James replied.
"Nope," Remus shook his head, "the door's open. Sirius, check the map, is she even still here?"
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he waved his wand at the parchment.
"Wait! Look! It says she's right in front of us!"
"Well, Pads, she's clearly not. Do you think the map is lying?" James asked.
"No, the map never lies," Remus sighed, "so, that means she is right in front of us."
"Wha-" Sirius started, when suddenly Remus crouched down.
He ducked his head to look under the bed and was met with a grimacing Hermione, "Aha!"
She winced.
Two more heads joined him, and she could tell that James was holding in his laughter.
"What are you doing down there, Hermione?"
"Umm, uh, nothing," she squeaked, "just, y'know, um, it's-it's nice down here?"
James grinned, "Why don't you come out of there?"
She glared at him, "Fine."
Hermione crawled out and sat on the bed, crossing her arms, and pointedly looking out the window instead of at them.
A few minutes passed in silence, and Hermione had decided she had had enough. She stood up, gathered her things again, and watched them for a moment, "Well. This has been, er, lovely, but I've got to get going."
James and Remus looked pointedly at Sirius, who shot up, looking alarmed, "Hermione! Wait!" She paused at the door, not turning around, and he hurried after her, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I-" at her raised eyebrow, he paused, taking a deep breath, and carefully taking her right arm and guiding her back to the bed. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm really, really sorry. I-I know this is going to sound stupid, but, um, I thought you were a Death Eater."
"I figured that out."
His breathing hitched, "I'm really sorry Hermione. Honestly – I didn't mean to split it open! I'm so sorry, please, I-I, er, I'll do anything you want for you to forgive me!"
Hermione sighed, "Sirius, you didn't know about the scars. I'm not mad about that. I'm not even mad you thought I was a Death Eater!" She paused, "I'm angry that you didn't just confront me rationally. I'm angry that you tried to force me to talk about things I made clear I didn't want to talk about."
The boys stared at her in shock.
She continued, "I-I'm not going to say it's okay, because, well, it's not, and it's going to take a long time for me to trust you again. But," she took a deep breath, "I forgive you. I don't want to be angry at you. However, if you ever try to make me talk about something I don't want to talk about – ever again – I won't forgive you as easily."
Before Sirius could respond, Remus opened his mouth, "Hermione, I'm sorry, too, for-"
Hermione cut him off, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Remus. You didn't do anything wrong." He opened his mouth again and she hurried on, "I mean it. I don't want, nor do I need, your apology. Please." She turned to James, "You didn't do anything wrong either. Now, I'm going to the library. Goodbye."
She glanced back at Madame Pomfrey's office to ensure she was still inside it and rushed out of the infirmary.
"Hermione!" James yelled.
She paused and turned around, "Yes?"
"Will you sit with us at dinner?"
Rolling her eyes, she responded, "Sure."
December 15, 1977
Gryffindor Common Room, 10:00 pm
3rd Person POV:
"Hermione?" Sirius poked her
"Hmm?"
"Are you gonna stay for Christmas Break? Or are you gonna go home?"
She looked up in surprise, "Er, well, um, I-I think I'm going to stay here. How about you?"
Sirius nodded, "James and I are still deciding. We kinda want to stay because it's our last year, but we also kinda wanna go home because of the ball."
"What ball?"
"Oh! I forgot to tell you! Basically, the Potter's host a New Years Eve ball every year, and it's, like, super fun, and one of the best events of the year!"
Hermione smiled indulgently. Ever since Sirius' apology, he had been extra nice and had practically stuck to her side like glue, "Well, I think either one would be a good decision."
He nodded slowly, before perking up, "Hey! What if we all go home and then, we can meet up for the ball! A-And then, after, we can come back to Hogwarts and spend the last week here!"
Hermione froze, she didn't have a place to stay, "Well, I-I don't know. I think I'm just going to stay here, y'know?"
"Aw, c'mon Hermione! It'll be fun! Just go hang out with your parents for a week, y'know, and then come to Potter Manor! Charlus and Dorea are amazing! They'll love you!"
"No thanks, I would like to stay here," her voice stiffened, but Sirius didn't notice.
"Please! Please! You'll love it, I promise!"
"I said no!" She glared at him, hurriedly grabbing all the notes she had been studying and shoving them in her bag.
"Wait, Hermione! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to push you!"
She paused, sighing, and sat back down on the couch.
"I just thought you might like it," he whispered, staring worriedly at her.
She clenched her jaw, "It sounds wonderful, Sirius, but I want to stay here for holiday break, okay?"
He nodded slowly, "Can, er, can I ask why?"
Hermione sighed again, "I just, um, don't want to go home."
"Why not?"
Her hands trembled as she contemplated telling him. Finally deciding that it couldn't hurt, she took a deep breath, and whispered, "I-I don't have anywhere to go."
Sirius visibly blanched, "Oh. I-I had no idea. I'm sorry, Hermione."
"I-It's okay." She sniffled a bit, and immediately berated herself for doing so, "It's not a big deal. I-I'm over it. Yeah. I'm over it."
She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself, rather than convince him, and Sirius was immediately even more worried. It was very clear that she wasn't over it. He moved closer to her, and awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, patting her back and burying his face in her curls as her soft sniffles slowly escalated into loud sobs.
December 15, 1977
7th Year Gryffindor Boys Dorms, 10:00 pm
3rd Person POV:
James, Remus, and Sirius were sitting on their respective beds talking about their day. During a lull in the conversation, Sirius cleared his throat, "So, guys, I was thinking about staying here over break."
James looked up, "Y'know mate, that might be a good idea."
Sirius' eyes widened as Remus said, "Yeah, I agree. After all, it is our last year at Hogwarts."
"Ok, so we're staying?" Sirius asked.
The other two Marauders glanced at each other, and, in unison, shrugged, "Sure, why not."
After a moment, James spoke up, "Hey, what made you want to stay? You love staying at our house for Christmas."
Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I do, but, you see, I was talking to Hermione-"
"Oooh!" Remus crooned, making kissy noises.
"No! Not like that, Moony," he rolled his eyes, "I was inviting her to the ball, but she said she wanted to stay, and well-"
This time, it was James who cut him off, "Oh no, what did you do this time?"
Sirius only looked mildly guilty as he said, "Not much, I just kinda pushed her to come, and she admitted that she didn't have anyone or anywhere to go home to for the break. I, well, y'know, I don't want her to be lonely."
James nodded, "You're right."
"No one should be alone for Christmas," Remus chimed in, thinking of how he had spent last Christmas as a werewolf.
"Let's not tell Hermione, yeah?" Sirius asked.
"Why?" James' brow furrowed in confusion.
"We could surprise her."
"Okay, sounds good to me," the other two boys chorused.
December 17, 1977
Library, 12:00 pm
3rd Person POV:
Hermione sighed. Sometimes it felt like that was all she was doing these days. Everyone had just left for holiday break, and she was sitting in a secluded corner in the library, trying to finish some homework.
Godric, she was tired. Thank god for this break – she really needed it. On top of studying for NEWTS, she had Order meetings, planning for the future, trying to navigate a (practically) whole new world, and everything else in between, she was dead on her feet. Or at least she had been, for the past few weeks, anyway.
She was quite – pathetically, she admitted to herself – excited for the holidays. Three blissful weeks of peace and quiet. She would finally have time to do some reading, and hopefully finally finish her animagus transformation.
Hermione had been working on becoming an animagus ever since she had arrived in the past (with the help of Minerva, of course). It had taken her a while to get the meditation done to find her form, but once she had, she found she was extremely pleased with the little red fox she would turn into.
Then came the actual transforming, and it was much harder than she had expected it to be. The last time she had tried (just yesterday), she only managed to get the snout and tail, and had been stuck like that for a few hours.
Long story short, she was emotionally and physically exhausted. Not to mention magically drained. For what felt like the seventh time in the past hour, she thought, I'm so glad it's break. Peace and quiet here I come.
She pushed some parchment away from her, laid her head on the table, and promptly fell asleep.
Some Time Later:
"Do you think she's okay?"
Hermione slowly opened her eyes, resisting the urge to yawn, and instead buried her head further into her arms.
"Dunno." Came the response.
Wait, what? Who the hell was talking? Hermione shot up, panic coursing through her veins, and immediately hit her head on something hard.
"Ow!" Her eyes widened and she whipped around to find a hunched over James, clutching his face, "Hermione," he groaned, "you broke my glasses!"
A snicker came from her left, "Do you have a habit of greeting people like that when you wake up?"
She turned around again, "Sirius!" she squeaked, and immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.
He raised his eyebrows, "Yup. That's me. Glad to see your sight is still intact. Our dear friend Prongs here, well," he sighed dramatically, "I don't think he got so lucky."
She looked at him in confusion for a moment before turning around to James, "Oh! Sorry! Occulus Reparo."
"Hey! Thanks Hermione!"
"Might wanna remember that one, Prongs."
Hermione rolled her eyes, before realizing something, "Hold on! You guys know the train left a few hours ago, right? What are you still doing here?"
"Yes, kitten," Sirius ruffled her hair, immediately pulling back when she fixed her glare on him. He cleared his throat, "Yeah, we, uh, decided to stay."
"Oh. Why?"
This time, it was James that spoke, "Well, y'know, it's our last year. We thought we should spend as much time here until we had to leave."
To his horror, her eyes became sad, and she whispered, "Yeah. That-That's a good idea."
"Are you really that disappointed to see us?" Sirius mock pouted.
"What-? Oh! No! O-Of course not, just surprised."
"Okay, then," he looked a little skeptical, but didn't comment further.
James perked up, "Hey! Do you wanna go to the kitchens? I'm getting kinda hungry."
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "I know there's not a whole lot of people here right now, but I still can't risk someone seeing me in the library." At Hermione's eye roll, he continued, "I have a reputation, you know?"
She sighed, but allowed herself to be dragged away, with only a last, sad, petulant glance at her beloved library.
A/N: Phew. This took a while. Sorry, guys. I've been super busy, so I probably won't be able to update for a few more weeks (finals, AP Exams, standardized tests – yeah, I don't know why we have to take so many different tests – and all that shit).
So, I'm going to keep this story Sirius/Hermione, because that's what most people said they wanted. Don't worry though, there will be lots of Regulus and Severus coming up! I'm not going to be giving her any sort of romantic relationship with Remus – I've read way too many fics where she dates Remus, they have a mutual breakup, and then she gets with Sirius. Remus is one of my favorite characters, and I really just don't feel like screwing him over, y'know?
Also – I have this story posted on and on AO3 (both under the username honeydawn) – just in case you like reading there more (I update at the same time).
(Sorry this AN was so long)
Anyway, tell me what you thought!
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