Chapter 8 - The Shakanar Advance

Biko and Akana continued their discussion for the next few minutes. Both were shaken out of it when they heard a crash. They barely had time to turn around before the six-foot ten inch bulk of Shakanar Corporal Ratha Kodene the Third filled the doorway.

Biko dove to shield the Kent children and her baby brother with her own body. Akana did the same for Shiiko and Mitsuko.

After spraying the room with pulse gun fire and observing that nobody returned her fire, Kodene noted the green hair of some of the girls cowering before her. Better yet, she spied the shaggy little green head of Kir Azenath of the House of Napolipolita.

She grinned, realizing that she had, in fact, hit the jackpot. The pleasure of killing them and the reward for doing so would be hers and hers alone. Raising her weapon to take careful aim, she announced, "Praise the Mother! This is going to be fun!"

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The Crazy Division's troops are chosen by three criteria; the first being expert marksmanship, hitting a minimum thirty-six out of forty bull's-eyes with a pulse rifle; the second being the ability to command troops in tactical emergency situations (e.g. a sergeant leading troops when the lieutenant is killed or injured); the third being impeccable leadership qualities and character after joining the division.

Their training program was called "The Miracle Factory" by Command Structure, for generating miraculous results from such poor material. The Kollya Stragaesh was composed of the Army's rogues, misfits and lunatics. They were the troublemakers and worse, the drunks and drug addicts, the bad apples who constantly threatened to ruin the barrels of more responsible and better-disciplined Cygnan troops. Another name for them had been Brig Rats, since each one of them had done time in prison or in punishment brigades.

It was a strange twist of fate that a military unit located in another part of the cosmos would have had the same term for their wastrels. The United States Marine Corps had their own brig rats with similar problems. They also shared something else with their Leptonian counterparts - whenever there was real trouble, they would be the first to deal with it. And usually, they were the last to leave the battlefield, either in body bags or on their own two feet.

Princess E-ko called them "goofs" and "scum" and worse, but they were her scum! She loved every single one of them; even those who were three-quarters mad like her. They loved her and were loyal beyond any other unit in the Army, save for the Royal Cavalry Guard. She had found all of them in the dives of star bases, penal colonies and reformatories throughout the 33 galaxies. She gave them a second chance when no one else would. Most of all, she gave them a new family and a place to call home.

She was so good in what she did that the Cygnans' allies - the Paranyans, Terra Betans, Anatolians, Thessalonikans, and even the bird-like Mitacreed - learned from her example with similar success. When on duty, the second daughter of Zazen'lda ate what they ate, wore what they wore, hurt when they hurt, and wept when they wept. If they went hungry, she went hungry. If they had to sleep in the mud, E-ko gave up her tent and joined them. In battle she led from the front, just as Alexander and Caesar had done on that boring mud ball known as Earth. She pushed her troops hard like Patton, the Terran general she admired the most. She always attacked no matter what, just like the Russian general Zhukov had during the Second World War.

Unbeknownst to her, every single member of the Division - - from the highest to the lowest - - carried a holograph of E-ko on their person. The Motherists called her "Firestorm". while the Pathfollowers nicknamed her "Fierce-eyes". They knew in their hearts that this was one general who kept her word, knew her trade, and did her dirty work alongside them. They bore her half-crazed tirades and antics with generous hearts and forgiving souls.

Yes, she's a lunatic, they thought, but so what? Under her, we never lost a battle. With her, we crush Kirlians and Xram. Beside her, we heap glory on Crown and Kingdom and ourselves.

But now the end was near.

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Princess E-ko now watched her beloved Berserk Souffle crumble around her.

Fires engulfed a third of the ship. Casualties flooded Sick Bay. The ground-pounders in the Troop Transport section vainly kept from puking their lunch out onto the floor. No one was to blame; it was just a case of being over-matched.

"Screens falling, Your Highness," Captain Knossos said calmly.

"I know that, Thera," E-ko blurted. "Can't be helped." She hit the ship's intercom. "This is the boss! All wounded to escape pods. All ground troops to your drop ships. Non-essentials, gather weapons and armor, follow the wounded down. Skeleton Crew personnel to the bridge. Gather your weapons and armor and follow them. Engine Room, copy."

"Engine Room, Your Highness."

"Transfer remaining life support to shields and get outta there!"

"Aye, Your Highness."

"And before you leave, reroute engine control to my command chair. Get me?"

"Done, Your Highness."

"Good. Helm, you do the same with your controls."

"Done, Your Highness."

The next thirty minutes dragged by. From her personal monitors, E-ko watched the first escape pods fly away. Their booster engines flamed white-hot as they flung themselves, penetrating the blue sphere below them. The ship spat out the rest of the pods.

The Princess and Captain Knossos were alone.

"Are they all gone?" asked E-ko.

"Yes, My Princess. A minor thing, though. One of the first pods with the wounded didn't head for southern Japan, like the rest of them did."

"Oh?"

"Yes, ma'am. It headed for Themiscyra."

"Probably a malfunction. Can't be helped."

"You're going to ram the Revenge, aren't you?"

"Funny, you don't look like a Nasamonian." She referred to the Homeworld's blue-skinned telepathic race rescued from the Xram centuries before. "Get going yourself, and I'll join you in a minute."

"Not too long, please," Thera Knossos asked. She felt E-ko pat her arm, reassuring her. She ran to the exit, leaving the Princess alone.

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The only sounds were explosions further back in the ship and the constant blat of the computers. E-ko viewed all with grim satisfaction. After a few minutes, the attack on her ship seemed to stop.

"What's the deal, Chitai?" thought E-ko. "Think you're gonna board me without a face-kicking? You goof!" She had a smiling half-snarl on her face. "Bring it on, you cow. What a minute. Isn't that an insult to cows?"

E-ko sat back in her command chair, enjoying the relative quiet. She folded her hands and closed her eyes.

"Oh Thou All-Merciful, grant me either a swift death or swifter victory. Keep my mother and my sisters - yes, even F-ko - safe in Your hands from all things vile. Be with my Sisters as they battle this Shakanar scum who blaspheme Thee in word and deed. Help my Sisters on Themyscira, and keep them from being slaughtered. And...though I know I don't deserve it – spare Thou my soul from the fate of the unrighteous."

She raised her eyes to the ceiling.

"Oh, and if I'm not being presumptuous – let me – well – stick around to whomp some Kirlian butt. At least, before Thou dost retire me permanently. Okay?"

She cupped her hands to her heart, recited the ancient Warrior's farewell. "Receive my sword, my spirit, my death for Thy Sake, O Thou – Truth Eternal. And may Thy Reign triumph o'er all in spite of Thy enemies."

She thought of her mother as her fingers swept over the control panels. The Berserk Souffle moved forward, inching toward the exposed belly of the Shakanar ship.

Suddenly E-ko heard the sound of marching feet coming down the corridor. Leaping to her feet, she quickly drew her broadsword, wondering how the Avernus the Shakanar boarded.

"Come for me if you're coming, you kakamatandulae!" she bellowed.

Instead of the expected Shakanar shocktroops, it was her own bridge crew that entered. "Assume your battle stations," Knossos ordered as she led the troops back onto the bridge.

Stunned, E-ko stood motionless as the crew resumed their battle stations. "Wh-wh-why didn't y-y-you l-l-l-leave with the r-r-rest of the crew in the escape p-p-pods?"

"Simple," she replied. "Every one of the bridge crew refused to leave. The last pod was launched empty. Frankly. My Princess, you should know that we would never abandon our mother."

E-ko felt a lump in her throat and noticed her lower lip started trembling. "I gave you gallows-bait an order, dammit! Get the Avernus off my ship!"

"Impossible, My Princess. We all talked it over and agreed. We won't let our Princess, our commander, our friend – our mother – enter the Unending Morning by herself. If she does, rest assured that we faithful warriors would surround her and march by her side. And we'll tell all those who came before us that a truly great warrior and leader came to join their ranks, and brought her loyal troops with her to prove it!"

Tears of gratitude ran down E-ko's face. "Damn brig rats – damn – ah, you goofballs." In spite of herself, she hugged Knossos, smiling broadly. "If I had time, I'd hug you all, really."

The response was a loud cheer that rang in the near-empty bridge.

Releasing Knossos, Princess E-ko raised her broadsword. "Let death come, then. I'll buy her a tankard of ale on me, and toast her as we leave this life together. All of us. Ee-nae ra-ga-ni – "

"ZAH-H-H-H-ZEN'LDA!" they cried in reply.

"Thera, RAMMING SPEED!"

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Ratha Kodene now found herself in Shakanar Heaven - so many victims, so little time!

Shiiko and Mitsuko had proved they were their mother's children when they hurled their spears at the massive warrior. Predictably, their efforts proved futile.

Kodene took a good look at her next victims. "Half-breed whelps. Terran spawn. By the Mother, it's time to take your medicine!"

"Hey, ugly! Enough with the appetizers! Why don't you drag your overgrown carcass over here for a great big helping of the main course? Or are you afraid to dance with a grown woman?" The huge woman turned on Biko, allowing the two young zaibatsu princesses enough time to squat and roll themselves under a ventilation duct.

"I just love it when they beg for it," the psychopath said. She then shot Biko in her side.

Akana picked up a vase to throw it at their attacker, but froze as Kodene leveled her weapon at her.

"You already have me and my sisters. How about letting the little ones go?" pleaded Akana, hoping to buy enough time for the smaller children to find cover for themselves.

"I already have you all, you stupid little kakruk, and that means you have nothing to deal with," Ratha Kodene replied. She was enjoying herself so much that she failed to detect the presence of a small bundle of blonde fury until she jumped on her broad back.

The blonde fury in question was C-ko, who had just landed on the immense woman's back and was now throwing her small arm around her enemy's bull neck. Desperately trying to hold on, the Princess wrapped her legs around Kodene's armored middle as she would around a horse.

"Get off me, you bizba," (Cygnan for a gnat-like insect) said the Shakanar officer, trying to reach behind herself to pull C-ko from her perch and crush the life out of her.

For her part, C-ko made sure she kept her precarious seat by sinking her strong white teeth into the ear of the now-distracted Shakanar. While Kodene spun around the room trying to dislodge the bulldog that was threatening to chew her ear off, the bleeding Biko staggered back onto her feet.

C-ko was being smashed over and over into the wall as the giant Shakanar tried to shake the toothy bundle off her back. As the small blonde hung on, Akana did her best to draw the Shakanar's fire away from the children. Reaching back once again, Kodene finally managed to take hold of a handful of the Princess' golden locks.

Seeing that C-ko was about to be dislodged, Akana tossed the vase to her stepsister, shouting "BIKO!"

The wounded young woman caught it and sent it crashing onto the shaggy head of the woman who had shot her.

Kodene fell back on top of C-ko, who gasped, "Somebody get this overgrown cow off of me! I can't breathe!"

Shiiko and Mitsuko helped Akana drag the Shakanar soldier off their Princess.

Once she was liberated, Akana asked her "Little Lost Princess" if she was all right.

"Forget me! How's Biko?"

Rushing to her stepsister's side, Akana noted the red stain on her stepsister's designer shirt. Akana quickly ripped it open to examine her, then breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was only a flesh wound.

"Well - the good news is you're going to live, Beekers. The bad news is that you're going to have a fine scar to show all your boyfriends."

"Only a flesh wound? Only a flesh wound?" Biko complained. "How am I ever going to wear a bikini again?"

"You never could, Bubble Butt," C-ko quipped, grinning.

"Besides," said Akana, "if you're so concerned, get doused with that purple ray that they used on Auntie Deesha. Maybe that'll cure your bad attitude as well as your scars."

"Leptonian warriors wear their scars as badges of pride. Ma and Auntie Dee have many of them," Shiiko said, trying to shame her older half-sister.

"Stupid! Do I look Leptonian?" Biko shot right back.

"At least your hair does. Surprisingly, you also seem to have the courage of one," Akana replied.

Biko's face reddened. "Speaking of courage – how about C-ko taking on that female mountain by herself?"

Aki smiled. "What do you expect from a woman who possesses the blood of a hundred generations of Cygnan warrior queens?"

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While the older members of the group attended to Biko's wound, three small children now stood over the unconscious Shakanar warrior, trying to understand what no child or any decent adult could understand.

"She looks like a big lobster!" little Jon observed, pointing at her red bio-armored shell, which bore the Shakanar death's head insignia.

"Lobster or not, what are we going to do with her?" C-ko asked.

Gingerly, little Kir poked the huge woman's arm with his foot.

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Now in the midst of the Themiscyra battle line, Aysha and Deesha held their positions along with the Amazon troops under the command of Philippus. They were outnumbered four to one by a Shakanar battalion that had landed on the beach and was now pressing forward, clearing a landing pad for the main attack.

Pressing close to the Amazon general, Napolipolita-Daitokuji shouted over the deafening sound of heavy gunfire. "If they clear a landing area, you won't be dealing with a few thousand Shakanar, but tens of thousands!"

"I only wish I had something more lethal than bows and arrows," Dee added.

"You Outerworlders will be surprised at what wonders Amazon arrows can do." Philippus turned to one of her officers. "Every third archer should prepare to fire, overshoot, and undershoot. I don't want any hits!"

Both Dee and her former Captain failed to understand the strategy of missing on purpose. They were about to get an education.