All familiar characters belong to Janet. The rest and the mistakes are mine. The place Matty visited is based on the American Heritage Museum.

Adventure 2 - Tank Play

Tank's POV

"Relax, Steph."

She cut her eyes to me. "When was the last time saying 'relax' to a woman ended well?"

"Right now?"

"Guess again. What happened to the days you and the rest of the guys would tell me to be careful, not rush into anything until I had all the facts, or maybe I should let someone else handle things? Now when I'm trying to protect my mini men, you want me to stop being cautious? And take note, Ranger tells me to 'breathe' when I'm worried … not relax or calm down."

I'm not an idiot. I shut my pie hole and let Ranger take over.

"Babe, I wouldn't allow our kids to do anything I deem unsafe …"

Her snort interrupted him. "As your buddy pointed out when we were introduced, you were/are an Army Ranger. What you consider safe and my definition of it probably don't match up."

"It's alright, Mrs. Manoso," our old Army buddy Teak said, still not afraid to wade into hostile territory. "Your boys can stay one-hundred percent safe and just look at our tanks and enjoy what else we have on display. No one's required to drive or ride in one."

She sighed. A clear sign that she's about to change her mind on something it had already made up. "I don't want Matty to miss out on anything because of fear, his or mine, but I need all three of you to swear to me that he'll be okay even though he doesn't meet the height requirement - because of course Ranger has a friend to help him skirt the rules."

Before Teak could shoot me a shit-eating grin for choosing the right thing to say instead of being stupid like I was, I tried again. "Believe me, Steph. No one would willingly piss you off and we know you'd flat-out kill us if something happened to the kids. But I'd never put M.J.'s life in danger."

Ty was trying to get himself free to go explore the tanks and simulated trench fight on his own, but she hiked him further up on her hip, smiled at him, and then gave the go-ahead for more fun.

"You should've started with that," she said to me before looking at Ranger. "If you can somehow cram your Rambo-sized body into whatever's outside, he can go with you. You seem nice enough, Mr. Teak, but I've only known you for the twenty-three minutes you've been giving us a private tour of the place. I don't trust people easily, especially when it comes to my kids."

Teak, his nickname because of his family's homeland and his past obsession with working out which made him look more hardwood-honed than human, grinned at her. "From what I've heard, you've known our Tank here for years and still don't entirely trust him. Keep busting his chops like you've been doing and we're gonna get along reeeeal well."

I felt a small measure of relief at her coming to my defense. "I trust Tank with my life, obviously Ranger's since they fought to keep each other alive, but my kids' safety is something else entirely."

"We all know how protective you are," Ranger told her, keeping one hand on M.J.'s shoulder so he couldn't wander off while he kissed his wife. "I was planning on riding with him."

"Again, you could've saved us ten minutes if you'd tacked that onto Teak's offer to let Matty 'drive' a war vehicle."

Now Teak sighed. "Yes, these were used in war, Mrs. M. But they - and their stories - are now housed here as a way to educate the public so maybe we can prevent future ones. They're also tactile tributes to the men and women who've used them or required assistance from them. Yeah … they took lives, but they also saved a number of them."

"Which leads me to this question, do you know why GodUncleTank is called 'Tank', Matty?" Ranger asked.

Steph looked through the hatch into the hull of the tank Matty wanted to investigate before giving me a body scan with a suspiciously sweet smile on her face. "I know it's not because he can fit into one, since he's about the same size as this guy."

"Real funny," I told her.

"You can't argue with that kind of logic, can you?"

"Or that kind of woman," I countered.

"This is my favorite of the tours I've given to date," Teak told us.

"Yeah, because you can talk back to this group of 'visitors'," I pointed out.

M.J. was tapping Ranger's arm to get his dad's attention again. "Why'd the GuncleTank got his named?"

"Maybe he snored soooo loudly, he sounded like one," Steph suggested, following that line of BS with what I would've called an exaggerated snore-sound if I hadn't had the unfortunate experience of sleeping near Lula in a past life.

M.J. laughed, which caused a ripple effect in Tyler, and the three of use shared a look over Steph's head.

"GodUncleTank had the ability to clear entire areas using only his outstretched arms," Ranger shared.

I could also wipe out a string of assholes hell-bent on making a name for themselves by challenging the ranger who went by one name … Manoso. Ranger would've eliminated every one of them single-handedly, but I tried to clear his path whenever I could.

M.J. jumped down from the hull of the M1A1 Abrams and stuck out his arms, trying to see what he could bring down with them. I stepped up and showed him how it's done by gently bumping one arm into him and immediately curling it to trap him while using my right arm to do the same with Stephanie and Tyler.

"Looks like we're captured, guys," Steph told her boys. "What are we going to do?"

"I'd suggest letting at least my wife go or you're going to end up sore and bruised," Ranger told me.

"You gettin' soft?" Teak asked. "You would've shot him back when I knew you."

"He still would," I corrected, putting mama and baby back down. "He was warning me about what his wife was about to do to me."

Teak laughed, clearly not believing the friendly mom standing in front of him has left a body count of her own during her career. "You ready to take on the real tank?" He asked M.J.

"We goed really big fast!"

"No, no big fasts," Steph told him. "These are old and really big; they can probably only go super slow now."

"You're being sneaky, Babe."

"I prefer thinking I'm just smart enough to prevent certain things from happening."

"I'll give you the rundown of options while you suit up," Teak said as we left the exhibit and the immobile vehicles behind.

Thank fuck uniforms were better quality and better looking when we enlisted, because the WWII-style tanker overalls did their job but don't do the operators justice. More so when one had to be rolled almost in half to fit M.J.'s toddler body.

I couldn't fault Steph. If I didn't trust Ranger and Teak, no way in hell would I have let him do this either. He looked even shorter than normal when Ranger was helping him into the vehicle. The hatch was left open so we could see Ranger and Teak, but we could only hear M.J.'s … "Look at mes" "Whoas" and "I drivins" as Teak helped them navigate the special course. It was loud, dusty, and it brought back memories. But this specific one I know will help me stomach the bad ones.

M.J. wouldn't have made it to the end of the full hour-and-twenty-minute experience. Neither would Ty, I quickly found out. Even though Steph and/or Ranger had packed a 'boy bag' full of snacks, bottles, and toys … I still had to empty every one of my cargo pockets to keep the kid amused. M.J. has Ranger's quiet determination and Tyler has Steph's 'what the fuck's next?' personality.

Though they only used up half the typical allotted time, M.J. worked in a solid two-hour amount of excitement after their M4A3 Sherman tank ride ended and he came back to tell his Mama and brother everything he did, felt, and saw.

"Your turn, Steph," I said because I know mini-Ranger will back me up in wanting her to get as worked up as her kid is. "I'll hold Ty if you need Ranger to hold your hand."

"My reputation is for blowing up cars, not driving something that can roll right over one. But I'll give it a shot just to prove that I don't need anything except my baby held while I'm gone."

She kissed Tyler's head and pointedly passed him to Ranger to hold.

"Me goed wiff Mama," M.J. announced before Steph got more than two steps away from us.

Her eyebrows rose in an unasked question that Ranger immediately answered. "If you don't feel safe with only Teak there, I can …"

"No, we'll be fine. Right, Matty? We can do anything together."

"We droved the biggor tank."

"You and Daddy sure did drive the biggest tank you could. It looks like it's our turn now. Remind me to say a special 'thank you' to GodUncleTank later."

That had me concerned. But knowing how much M.J. and Steph will love telling the guys about their day and how they enjoyed the time they spent here, had me crossing my arms over my chest and just enjoying the show.