Jenna peeled out of the parking lot and took the ten minute ride to her home. She couldn't get that smile out of her head. It gave her the creeps. She was use to being hit on once men found out what she did for a living but this guy gave he chills. Shaking the thoughts from her head Jenna got out of her car and headed for the door into the building. She wanted to tell Jax about this guy. But she wasn't going to give him an in to be over protective so she decided to hold this one close to the chest. As she was taking the elevator up to her floor Jax was pulling up to his house. Tara's car was in the driveway. Rolling his eyes he got off his bike and head into the house. Tara was at the kitchen table smoking a joint. Tara smiled seeing him walk in. She jumped up and handed him the joint she just lit and said "baby I'm so glad your home." Jax held her for a minute feeling empty inside and said "glad to be home." He was in denial to himself that this house felt emptier by the day. But he brought this all on because of his choices but it didn't make it hurt any less. He held Tara breathing her in. She smelt like Jenna, which meant Tara was dipping into Jenna's things she left behind. But to him it was nice to feel her even if it wasn't her. He let go of Tara to hit the Join. As he Took the hit Tara asked "So how did it go with Biker Barbie?" Jax pushed her off when she asked he hated Tara's Snide remarks about her. But he only had to bear it for a few more months. He said "It was fine. We just exchange pleasantries and she gave me her new address just in case." "In case what you wanna get a booty call." Tara said rolling her eyes at Jax while his back was turned. Jax just shrugged off his cut and said "So what does it matter to you? You leave in three months Tara. So what does it matter?" Tara grabbed his arm and said "It matters Jax because I'm here now and all you seem to worry about is her."

Jax stopped himself from wanting to take a swing at her and said "She's six months pregnant with my daughter Tara so of course I will worry about her. Just I like was with you, Until you decided you couldn't bear my child and terminated. So don't start on that." Tara just gulped and looked at him. She was hurt but knew he was hurting to because of her. But those were his choices. Tara decided to change the subject and said "Hey I have the night off so why don't we order in some food and binge watch our favorite movies and we don't have to talk if you don't want to." Jax just nodded and head for the shower. He needed a hot shower to feel a little cleaner about everything going on in this world. All of his lies were coming back to haunt him. But what was haunting him worse is if Jenna would ever love him like she use to. Jenna walked into the apartment and Happy was on a ladder installing security camera's up for her. This was her first home alone without anyone to protect her. Abel was at the base of the ladder handing Happy tools. They had the stereo on listening to eighties rock music. Jenna smiled watching her son with Happy. Of course Jenna sort of had her own crush on Happy, especially the way he was with her son. Jenna set her thing on the counter and let the boys continue working. Abel was the first to notice his mom had come home. "Mommy" He hollered running to her. Happy looked over his shoulder with a smile. Abel Reached his mother hugging her belly and giving it a kiss. Jenna's heart melted seeing how Abel was being. She knew he was gonna love his little sister when she arrived. Jenna smiled lifting him up on to the counter to kiss his forehead. "You been good for Uncle Happy?" She asked her son who was singing along with the song the best her could. "Uh Huh..We almost done too." He said looking back at happy who was screwing the camera in place after wiring it. "I see what would you and Uncle Happy like for Lunch since you worked so hard." She asked looking over to Happy. The two shared their own glances and Abel looked like he was thinking. "Um I want Pizza. But you have to ask Uncle What he wants." Abel told her, Jenna smiled and help him off the counter. "Pizza sound good to you Happy?" She asked him as he was cleaning his hand with an old t-shirt. "Pizza's fine.. But I should get going once I get the last one in. I don't want to cause you two any trouble." Happy said folding the ladder to move it by the entrance so she can have a camera outside her door. "Happy you know you are not trouble at all. Besides it's the least I can do for getting my security system up." She said grabbing her wallet and phone. Biting her lower lip she watched her son hop off the counter and go straight for Happy to hold the tools. Jenna opened the doors to the balcony and called the pizza place in town. They knew her order just seeing her number pop up on the caller id. Pizza was one of her cravings while she was pregnant.

They said it would take about thirty minutes and this gave her just enough time to process. She was processing last night and this day so far. Jenna sat down on at the little table and just closed her eyes. She just wanted to feel okay and not waiting for the other shoe to drop as it always did for their family. She jumped out of her meditation by David Hale's voice. He was on the phone with his sister, "Oh My God you just don't let things go. I'm not going to do anything dumb." He said to her. Jenna just laughed it off wondering if they were discussing what once was in high school. David could hear her laugh and walked out onto his balcony. "well there is a laugh I haven't heard in forever." She said leaning on his railing. Jenna lowered her shade and just shook her head. "That's cause I usually don't have much to laugh about these days." She told him leaning her head back to soak in the sunrays. "So what is so funny?" He asked her, tilting her head back to look at him she replied "Your big sister looking out for you. I'm assuming she knows like most of this town Jax and I are done." "She think your my blind spot in this town." He said leaning his elbows on the railing. Jenna smiled and said "I use to be. But that was then and this is now." She didn't want to think about the past and the choices she could have made. He reached over to move a piece of hair out of her face but she jumped a bit, so he stopped and stepped back. "Sorry old habits die hard." He said walking back into his apartment closing his sliding door. This day was just getting weirder by the day for her. She needed something and didn't know what it was. But anything to make these feelings stop would be great. Jenna looked at her phone and they still had twenty minutes till the food was here. She got up and went to her bedroom where she went in her top drawer grabbing a metal case that had pre-rolled joints in them. She grabbed an incense stick and went into her bathroom. It was definitely the master bath of her dreams. It looked like someone pulled it out of a magazine it was that perfect. Jenna made sure she had her phone and closed the door. She didn't let Abel know she smoked even though he knew. Lighting the incense stick she put it in a candle since she had yet to unpack most of her personal items yet. She turned some music on low and the song to come on just made her laugh cause it was ironic. She lit the joint and started to hit it and she slowly was dancing. Jenna just closed her eyes and enjoyed the few minutes of peace she would have just to catch a high. Her mind was spinning from everything going on around her. The worst thing for her is she now had to figure out how to be single and not depend on Jax or the club Money. She wanted to get back in the game and be who she was before the Kids But she just fell into what she was suppose to be a old lady and a mother. The support system of everything and she was scared of failing everyone around her. Taking a breath she breathed in the aroma of the incense stick as she puffed her joint. When she exhaled she seen Happy just standing in the door way admiring her. He had a pizza box balanced on his hand, it was a personal pan she always got for herself cause no one else like pineapple on their pizza. Jenna looked up with a slight smile and offered him a trade. Happy took the joint and handed her the pizza. "Abel said you were probably in here meditating." Happy said making air quotes as he hit the joint. Jenna Laughed a bit and said "well at least he is still a little innocent." She knew the hell her little boy had through his life and he was only six.

Happy just smiled handing her the joint back and said "I leave you be and go sit with him." Jenna bit her lip as he walked out. She took one more hit and put it out. Grabbing her Pizza she went to join the boys. As the three were sitting at the counter Tara and Jax were cuddled up on the couch. Jax had so much on his mind he wasn't paying attention to whatever movie they were watching. Part of him wondered what Jenna and Abel were doing and if Happy was still there. It might just be a weekend but the next three month and maybe forever without her was hurting him. Jackson knew how bad he was hurting her, but he had his own demons and issues that came with the hurt. He wanted to know if Tara would stay true to her word and leave at summers end before Jenna had the baby. But part of him also wondered if He could have this Life with Tara too for real and maybe make her stay. Jax couldn't help who he loved and he loved both women. Tara was his first real love and Jenna was the childhood sweetheart and were always meant to be together it was just their connection. Tara was falling asleep on him feeling comfortable and safe for once. Safe from Josh and his schemes. She felt guilty for everything she was doing. Tara herself knew she was leading Jax on all because of Josh's case. Even though there was no real case, He was just doing this to try to keep her close and maybe make a name for himself out her. Josh was sitting in a room at Tara's father's home with his daughter. The room had pictures of Tara and Jax and Jax and and Jenna, Along with a lot of pictures of Jenna with Abel or by herself. Even some intimate ones from a web cam show before she got pregnant again That Josh paid for. He had an obsession for Jenna because of her roles in the porn she use to make which was a submission. That turned him on so much. His Daughter Jackie's Biological Mother was an excellent submission. He thought he could whip Tara into shape, but when he did a background check on on Tara. Her past was is what attracted her to him then. That when he found his dream Jenna Winston aka Jenna Jaxson the porn star he adored was reality. Josh was on paid leave from the FBI after his wife died. He was officially benched and he hated it. So he got to know Tara's schedules and routines and just started to show up. But it took him having his daughter Jackie who was a year old at a mall to get Tara to accept a date. Josh watched his daughter asleep peaceful without a worry. He was planning to make Jenna his one way or another without her kids. But those plans were something he was playing close to the chest. He only told Tara what she needed to know. Picking up Jackie he took her to Tara's childhood bedroom. He was trying to get her to sleep in a big girl bed now and not a crib. Laying her head down on the pillow he moved her dirty blonde hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.

Abel had fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie. Jenna and Happy were sitting on the balcony smoking a joint. Happy watched her hair blowing in the wind as she watched the ocean and rubbed her pregnant belly. "So you and Jax? I know it's only been a weekend.. But do you think you guys are really done?" He just wanted to know so he knew which path to take in his own life. he asked her as she handed him the joint after taking a fat rip. Jenna was brought out of her zone out and passed him the joint after blowing out a cloud of smoke. She said "Honestly, I don't know. I know I love him and he is the father of my kids and ill never take that from him. But after finding with him for a second time that engagement ring doesn't mean a thing to me. My love for him died finding him in that bed with her. Will he always have a piece of me yeah but that cause we been together since we was kids. We were each others first everything so he will always have the piece. But I don't think I can give him another piece ever again. Do I think Tara's got a motive. Tara always has a motive. She has since day one. Did you know she was pregnant at the same time I was but she had an abortion and ran to Chicago." Jenna only knew this information cause she paid one of the nurses for a copy of Tara's hospital records when she was pregnant with Abel cause she had heard Jax's silent arguments on the phone or would ease drop on him when they were younger cause they had no trust. Happy looked stunned at this information and passes her the joint back. Jenna reached for the joint and took a hit looking up at the sky. She kinda laughed a bit and Happy asked "What's so funny?" Jenna blew out smoke and said "Irony fate karma what ever you wanna call it. Like I swear this is penance for something in my past life cause I wanted to just live happily ever after and I am realizing those will never exist in any word. Like I wanted the man the family the life and like it still doesn't seem to be enough. Like I'm everything he wanted and it's still not enough." She was almost in tears as she said these words. It hurt to know that she wasn't enough for anyone and never would be. It was making her judge her self worth and her self esteem levels fluctuated often. Happy was use to hearing Jax complain about something or ask for advice. But he wasn't use to hearing Jenna open up like this and gossip. But then they had been around each other a lot more cause he was pretty much Abel's best friend and their guardian angel which was Jenna's nickname for him. Happy said "I get it Jenna, But trust me you are the toughest old lady i've seen in ages. You keep up with best of them. You have been through hell and back with Jax Tara And Abel. You deserve better. You and both your kids do. I know he's my president but I think he's a fool for it and if I woulda known I woulda nut shot him and talked to him." Jenna laughed looking up so she didn't cry from laughing. She said "I would have appreciated it. But wouldn't have been smart for your MC Career and I don't want Abel to lose his best friend cause his daddy is an idiot." Happy nodded and said "That's why I didn't. That little Boy." He put the joint in the ashtray knowing Jenna was done. She didn't let herself get baked during the day because she had to be on point and never wanted her son to see her like that. He was exposed to many drunken Jax nights already.

Jenna looked at her watch and it was five PM. She said "Geezus its that late already. I gotta get his stuff ready for camp tomorrow and i gotta unpack my room so I can find my work clothes so I can go earn a legit paycheck at the studio." Happy teased her and said "Oh are you filming?" "ewww" She said throwing one of the throw pillows from the chairs outside at him. Happy smirked as he caught it and laughed. Jenna continued to say "No I'm not filming. I'm going to take some of the office stress of Lyla they got three kids and a forth they got to handle. So I'm gonna let her be the stay at home wife and mom until this one pop and once she pops. Then mommy is getting her body back and back into film." Happy looked a little stunned that Jenna after all these years was ready to take her full time role as co-owner of the porn studio. He asked "Does Jax know?" "Nope" She said popping the P. Then continued on to say "He has no idea. This was my plan after Abel. But we seen what happened with all that drama and the surprised with her. But He just pushed the plan in full swing. Finding them was the best thing for me to be real. It just made me realize Jackson Teller would always be that bad boy who doesn't ever grow up." This made her sad and want to cry but she didn't. She was acknowledging that this was probably the end Of their happily ever after and that they were better apart. But what hurt Jenna is she didn't know how to be alone. She was always with someone in her life. Maybe Lonely would make her feel better just her and her kids. Happy smirked and patted her hands and said "You'll do fine kiddo. I can stop by in the morning if you like so that its not so weird for Abel in the morning since he use to having breakfast with most of us." She nodded her head and said "yeah that will be good for him." she reached for his cigarettes and pulled one out and lit it. "yes I know bad for her. But i just need one to deal with this crap." She said with a laugh. Happy smirked lighting one up himself and said "I'm not gonna tell you no. Your grown do what you want." Jenna laughed and blew out some smoke. Her phone rang and it was Jax. Tara had taken a nap after their sexcapades. He just want to talk but he also wanted to check up on her see if she was okay. Jenna put the cigarette down and grabbed her phone and handed it to Abel. she said "its Daddy for you. If ask for mommy tell him im in the bathroom." Abel knew this would be a lie but he wasn't happy with hid father so anything he could do to keep his mom from crying he would. Abel answered it "Hi Daddy." Jax was taken back that his son was answering her phone. Jenna had walked back outside to finish her smoke and enjoy the company that was outside instead of dealing with Jax. "hi buddy. where's mom at?" Jax said hitting a cigarette outside on the back steps. Abel watch his uncle happy and his mom sitting on the balcony laughing and talking. His mommy wasn't crying so he said "She is in her bathroom." "is she busy?" Jax asked his son. "she's taking a bath. She lefted me the phone just in case you called." Abel responded to his dad. Jax now wondered who was watching his son while she was soaking. "whose with you while mommys in the tub?" Jax asked wondering who was there with her.

"Uncle Happy..I helped him install the camera's today for mommy." He said as he laid back on the couch. jax rubbed his forehead and said "oh yeah..How long has Uncle Happy been there?" He just wanted to know if there was something going on between the two. "since we came home from Grandma's. Mommy asked him to stay earlier when she went out. He's just been playing with me and installing the camera's while mommy unpacked n dealt with pain from sissy." Abel was telling his own white lie to make his father worry. He wanted his parents together but didn't went his father hurting his mother anymore. "is mommy okay?" Jax asked concerned rubbing his head. "she said she needed to rest and soak and she would be fine." Abel said to him. Jax took another hit off the cigarette and said "well you call me if anything happens to mommy and sissy and I'll see you after day camp." Abel said " I will daddy I love you." "I love you too son. Tell mommy I called please." Jax said before hanging up and wanting to just cry. But he couldn't cause he did this to himself. He still wondered if Happy and Jenna had been screwing behind his back since Happy spent a lot of time with her and Abel. Jax knew in his heart it wasn't true and that she wouldn't do that. But part of him just wondered. He decided to go for a ride without Tara. He did have feelings for Tara but still wondered why she was actually home other than to clean out her dad's house after his passing. Going inside Jax left Tara a note and grab his coat and his cut. Jax wanted to go for a ride to clear his head of everything he was thinking. He decided to walk the bike down a couple of blocks so Tara didn't hear it. After the cigarette Happy decided he should go. Jenna and Abel were laying on the couch watching a movie. Jenna had fallen asleep and Abel was still awake. He looked at his mom and kissed her head. Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch and covered up. He was quiet equip at taking care of her and himself at this age. He looked at the time and knew he had to brush his teeth and take a bath before bed. Abel let his mother sleep and went down the hall to her bedroom. He grabbed the baby monitor and brought it out to her.

Abel grabbed the receiver and took it in the bathroom with him so that she could hear him in the tub. Jenna was half asleep and in dreamland hearing Abel in the tub playing with his toys. She occasionally looked at the monitor to make sure he was okay. Abel was just being a happy kid and playing with is toys. He himself as a kid was coping well with the changes but he saw this coming. Abel knew the things his father did to hurt his mom, even stuff she didn't know that he saw at the club house. He was kind of relieved he didn't have to watch his mom suffer. He would miss time with his dad, But he knew this might bring Uncle Happy around more who made mommy very happy. He even made her laugh when she wanted to cry. Finishing his bath he dried off brushed his teeth and went to bed taking the baby monitor with him so his mother knew he was okay. Jax was riding on the back roads to clear his head. He ended up going to Diosa where he saw a few bikes outside and decided to stop. Happy, Opie, Tig, and a few others were hanging outside on the deck. Happy had made his way here for the night shift. One of the crow eaters he was fucking was working tonight. He wanted to make sure nothing happened to her. Jax parked his bike next theirs and headed their direction. Opie was asking about his sister since he knew Happy had been there. "She's okay. I was just watching little man while she did some things and installed the cameras in." "good to know your not making moves on my old lady." Jax said with a evil smirk still staking his claim still. Happy just looked at him and sipped his beer. "calm down killer." Opie said sipping a beer. Happy just leaned on the railing. "how are my old lady and my kids Happy?" Happy wasn't gonna play this game seeing as Jax seemed like he was just looking for a pissing contest.

"If she was really your old lady you would know." Happy said before finishing his beer and headed inside for another round he wasn't in the mood for this game tonight. Yes he cared for Jenna and always had since she had Abel and he was the one who was their for most of her downfalls and all of Abel's firsts. Opie shook his head at Jax and said "Man what are you doing?" "What do you mean?" Jax said drinking from his flask filled with whiskey. "it's only been a weekend and you are certain she's coming back but your also certain that men in your own club want her" Opie said to his best friend and brother. Other members that were outside went in knowing that this could get ugly. Jax took another swig and said "Happy seems to always be around." "That's cause you chose him to be there. That's your fault if you if you think my sister is moving on with someone in your ranks." Opie said to him being bold and honest. Jax wanted to swing on him but he knew Opie was right to say these things. Jax thought she would always be there like she promised but he himself was now realizing he pushed her beyond her limits. Opie looked at his best friend and said "I honestly think you two need time away from each other. She may need to find herself away from you. Jenna and you have been attached at the hip since we were all kids and she has only known how to be an old lady." Opie saw the pain his best friend put his sister through more than he would have liked to Jax nodded in agreement and said "But she took the kids." "and you act like she is gonna keep them from you. My sister is not as malice as others would make you think." Opie said talking about Tara of course. Apart of Jax knew that he was right but he was still scared that someone else could step in and be dad to his kids after this fuck up.

Opie could see the look in his friends eyes and said "Go inside go have a drink lose yourself in something that won't catch feelings. I am gonna head home as soon as Lyla is done with paperwork, Cause we got to get the kids ready for summer camp." Jax smirked remembering Jenna telling him about the camp and that she was thinking of sending Abel to their day camp for the summer to work on his social skills. Jax said "I think I am just gonna continue on my ride. Might go see Uncle Jury in Nevada see how things are going there. I just need to think." "Well leave me a message when you get there and unk I said hi." Opie said as Lyla was walking out with Nero. Nero was stunned to see Jax there tonight. Lyla looked at the guys and reached for Opie's Hand. "ready to go babe." Opie asked his bride who looked exquisite and glowing. "yeah we got a lot of stuff to do before we can even get any sleep." She said with a wink. Jax rolled his eyes and said "get a room." Lyla smirked and said "Its nice to see you to Jax." Jax smirked giving her a hug and said "congrats on the pregnancy by the way." "thank you" She said after letting go from their hug. Opie and Lyla said their good byes and headed to their home. Lyla was laying her head on his shoulder and asked "How's he doing?" Opie smiled down at her and said "Being typical Jax foreshadowing blame accusing Happy and my sister of stuff that isn't true. The usual that happens once he's been caught." "Yeah sounds about right. I wish Jenna would fuck someone else and he find out then he would know how it felt." Lyla said having hopes for her friends. Her and Jenna were close always were since Lyla had come into their lives. "you aren't the only one" Opie stated keeping his focus on the road.

It was about Midnight, Jenna woke up in a panic. She had one of her usual nightmares. She was never one to dream but when she did it was always a nightmare it seemed lately. Then again that's the feeling that she got when Tara was around. Rubbing her face she looked at the baby monitor and saw Abel fast asleep in his bed. She looked a little bewildered cause this was their first night in the apartment. Sitting up she rubbed her face again and looked at her phone Jax had sent her a few texts as well as her brother. She had no response for either of them because she was trying to not think about it all. Jenna got up and went to the fridge and grabbed the apple juice and took a swig from the bottle. She couldn't think or be bothered to think. She just wanted her life to go back to what it was pretending to be happy even though she knew what Jax was doing on the side. But She couldn't be weak in front of her kids. She felt her daughter start kicking her stomach and she whispered "Please Don't kick mommy right now. Daddy's not here to stop our pain lil mama please." Jenna felt it slowly stop as she tried to rub her belly. This child was definitely going to be a daddy's girl much like she was. There were time she wished her dad was here so she could cry to him. Now she had no one cause her mother and her weren't on the best of terms. Mainly because her mother always favored Opie over her as kids even as adults. Jenna lit a candle under a picture of Her dad holding Abel as a baby. This was her way of remembering him. She said "Daddy I sure wish you were here with your wisdom. You always knew what to say when times got like this for both of us. I just ask you keep watch over him. Because I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy to my kids." It was her prayer almost like saying a Hail Mary for herself and her family.

She reached in one of the drawers where she hid her cigarettes she grabbed one from the pack and went to balcony. Jenna tried to hide all her habits away from Abel because he had seen so many of his fathers bad habits. Jax was having his own cigarette with his uncle Jury. Jury was telling how the business out here but could see his mind was else where. So he pounded on the bar making Jax snap out of whatever day dream he was in. "Hey Boy what's wrong with you? How the lil lady and the kiddos?" Jury asked hoping that's what was on his mind. He had No idea what drama his nephew had caused in his own family life. Jax smirked and said "They are good. She pregnant with a lil girl right now. Little man is running us in circles." He had a bittersweet smirk since he knew that his family was broken. "sounds wonderful so why you got the sour look on your face?" Jury asked Jax. Jax did the shot that was sitting in front of him. "she left me, got an apartment with money i didn't know she had took the kid with her." Jax told his uncle. Jury shook his head and said "I wondered when that girl was gonna wise up. Girls like that won't stay forever. Not when guys like us go breaking their hearts." "What's That suppose to mean?" Jax Asked grabbing the bottle of whiskey off the table. Jury smiled and said "Nothing against you nephew but when I met that girl I knew she was strong built like your mom but wouldn't put up with half of what your mom does. So what did you do?" "Why do you assume I did something? Why couldn't she done something?" Jax said feeling a little offended "cause girls like that don't do things especially with babies." Jury said trying to give his nephew for insight. Jax downed another shot and said "I screwed a girl that I shouldn't have and she found out on a fluke. It was the same girl that almost caused my son to be lost." Jury smirked and shook his head. He wasn't sure what to tell his nephew now just knew to listen.

As Jax was spilling his secrets to Jury, Jenna was on her balcony having a cigarette trying to stop her anxiety. As she blew some smoke out she jumped when David Hale said "You know that's bad for the baby right?" Jenna wanted to hit him but all she said was "Thanks Dad. I know that but right now its helping me." she leaned toward him with a sigh as she ashes her cigarette off the balcony. David smirked sitting down on his own patio furniture close to her. they could almost touch that's how close their balcony's were. "it's weird that our balcony's are this close" She said reaching her had out to touch his finger tips. He took the cigarette from her hand and took a puff and let her take it back with a smirk. "Yeah I'm sorry for scaring you just not use to having a neighbor yet." He said with a smile. "Yeah its kinda weird having a cop right next door. But if the security cameras aren't useful you sure will be." She said with a laugh putting out the cigarette with a smirk. Jenna was sweet on him. They could have been a thing but her life was very different from his and it just wasn't meant to be. "Yeah I seen one of the guys putting those in for you with Abel's help." He said leaning back in his chair. "That was Happy he is like Abel's best friend ever." She said trying not to think about him either. "Yeah i seen Abel handing him tools and checking on him when they did the doorbell. Your really making sure you guys are safe huh." David said trying to test the waters to see how bad it was. Jenna rubbed her face and said "Yeah well with all the hell that little boy has been through and not to mention me can't be to careful with anything. So safety is key." "You worried about Jax finding this place?" He asked abruptly.

Jenna shook her head no and said "He already knows about this place. Just wanna keep me and the kids protected since we are alone now." She didn't like that Jax knew where they were but he had all rights since he was the kids dad. David asked looking at her pregnant belly "What if Abel were mine? What would you have done?" It was hypothetical and didn't know where it came from. But there was a chance Abel could of been his till Jenna got a DNA Test without telling anyone just to be sure before she announced it. "You know Jax Asked that same question when Abel was taken by the Irish and I was a mess to deal with. Like he sort of wished Abel would have been like we would have been safer if that were the case. But All I can say is I don't know things could of still played out like they did. All I know is you can't rewind time and change the results we all have our lives and I wouldn't change it because I've learned to be a strong women from all the hell I've gone through." she said finally feeling the kicking stop. David sighed since it wasn't a real answer to what he wanted but Jenna knew she didn't want to lead him on more then she probably already was. She couldn't bear to hurt him again or let herself be hurt. Standing up she grabbed her phone and her lighter. She said "I know that doesn't help but I right now can't open that can of worms right now. Ive got a kid and one on the way and What If's are things I can't handle cause I have a lot of those myself and I don't want to lead you on." She shut the door to the balcony locking it tight. She leaned against the door and took a deep breath. Jenna asked that what if every night she lay alone in her and Jax's home while he was out doing god knows what with god knows who. She was tired of those thoughts in her head.

Jenna blew out the candle under her father picture and headed for her bedroom. She peaked her head into Abel's room and smiled. He was cuddled to a build-a-bear that he had since he was a baby. Jenna made it when she found out she was pregnant with him. His cover was kicked off of him so she tip toed in and covered him back up. He stirred a but didn't wake. All she could do was smile at the sleeping angel. She kissed his forehead and headed for her room. As Jenna was getting comfortable in her bed, Tara was tossing and turning in the bed alone at Jax's house. She was having her own nightmares without Jax around to protect her. Tara woke up wearing on of his shirts and reaching for him but he was no where to be found. She found her phone and there was a text from him saying he was in Nevada would be back in the morning. Tara rubbed her face and see the multiple other messages from Josh. They were creepy and stalkerish. There were even a couple picks from the window of her and Jax Fucking on the couch that he took. It shook her to the core knowing this man could get to her anytime anywhere. Tara sighed and flicked on the bed side light and decided to get up. she had to be at the hospital at four for rounds. As soon as the light went on her phone rang it was Josh. He of course had been following Jax since he seen him leave the house with out a sound. She picked up and josh said "I see your awake. It early to be up for work. Take "it your protector wasn't home when you woke up. He's in Nevada far away from you. Now how is it weaseling back into his life on a lie." Tara felt disgust as he spoke these words. "calling me to gloat or what?" She said in a snarky tone. "No just wanted you to know that I knew you were alone. I got to keep my assets safe ya know." He said watching Jax come out of the club house with a red head under his arm. Josh of course took pictures sending them to her via text. "Apparently your not the only tail he is gonna get tonight." Josh said looking in the backseat through the rearview mirror at his little girl fast asleep in her car seat. Tara felt like she was gonna be sick at the photos. "what do you want Josh?" She begged him just to know what if anything she could do. "Oh Nothing just wanted to give you every reminder I'm watching you and Him. Also wanted to remind you what type of man your biker boyfriend was." He said hanging up the phone.

As Tara curled up in the bed all she could do was toss and turn. Jenna was peacefully asleep in her bed alone. Abel would eventually crawl into to it like usual just cause it was a new place for him and he was scared. The sun peaked through the curtains and an alarm was going off. Jenna tried to sit up but felt a weight on her arm. Rubbing her face she reached for the off button. She didn't want top wake him up just yet cause she wanted to wake up a little more before he was fully awake and running around. Jenna felt more pregnant by the day, she could feel her little girl pushing on her bladder. She slowly worked Abel off of her arm, so she could get out of bed. Abel rolled over and she breathed a sigh of relief. Waddling to her bathroom she turned the light on dim. Once she leaned on the counter trying not to look at herself in the mirror. She knew mornings were rough and she felt very unattractive being pregnant. Looking up once she decided to deal with her look later. She needed caffeine and to make breakfast for Abel since today was his first day at day camp. Jenna only enrolled him in this so she could prepare for little miss, but now it was so she could go back to work. Working was her excuse for getting out of the house before she ended up getting depression like she had before while Abel was a baby and fighting for his life. Grabbing her phone she headed toward the kitchen/living space. Jenna was blessed that Gemma brought her some groceries and cookware when she came to visit her the other day. Opening the fridge door she stared into it like it was a difficult choice to make. She knew she was gonna make cheese eggs and toast which was her craving and Abel would eat it to. She grabbed the pan from the cupboard and started to cook. Jax was waking up with the sun peering through curtains. There was a redhead laying on his arm, shoving her off her got up and got dressed. Jury was sitting behind the bar making coffee.

Jax looked over at him and said "Can I get a cup?" Jury smirked and fixed him a cup with a bit of whiskey in it. Jax knew he had to go home and deal with what was there Tara, Jenna, the club, everything. Jury turned around and handed him the coffee and said "You can stay here as long as you need." Jax smirked and that idea was nice he could tell the boys and Opie would make sure things got done. But he couldn't leave Tara alone lord only knew what trauma she would have planned for Jenna if he stayed gone for to long. Jax took a sip and said "I would love to stay. I got a fairly pregnant old lady at home and a mistress who will cause my old lady grief if I'm away for too long and a club to worry about. So once the sun rises a lil more ill probably head home." Jury shook his head at Jax and said "sound like the life of a president." This had a laugh behind it cause Jury remembered what it was like to have a faithful woman and play things on the side when he was younger and having regrets. As Jax and Jury were having coffee, Josh was sitting in Tara's dads house. He had a lot planned today. He planned to leave Tara alone for the day and see if he couldn't have a run in with the pregnant pornstar today. Josh would listen when Tara spoke about Jax and this Pornstar in her confessions. Tara loved Jax but hated Jenna so it was all a love hate triangle. Josh was obsessed when he found out who the pornstar was. He licked his lips smiling at a picture that he had of Jax Jenna and Abel with a cut out of his face over Jax. Though busting the Sons would make is career Jenna would make his life. he kissed the picture and tucked it away just in case anyone went snooping. He could here his daughter on the baby monitor waking up and hungry. He planned to get her into daycare while he looked like something other than a cop.

Josh scooped her up and sat her in the high chair and poured cheerios into a bowl for her to eat on. As Josh watched his daughter who had no care in the world speaking her own language, Jenna just finished making breakfast for her and Abel. Abel woke up the second he smelled food much like his father. It made Jenna smile and gave her some comfort. This place didn't feel like home though. She wanted their house back she wanted the bed and every thing but Jax or maybe even including Jax. She wasn't sure. She rushed into this just because she was hormonal and upset. But she had to stick this out and see how it worked. Cause she wasn't gonna crawl back home. Abel was sitting that the breakfast bar watching cartoons on his tablet as he ate. Jenna sipped her smoothie watching his. He had her nose but the rest was Jax. From the eyes the smile not to mention the blonde hair that stuck up and end at times. It made her cry every now and again because she remembered the sweet little boy she fell in love with. But she hoped their son would have her humanity and heart and His courage and strength. She also prayed that he wouldn't receive his father worst traits. But that was neither here nor there, he was a sweet kid now and very loving even after everything he had gone through. Jenna smiled at him and said "Are you excited for camp?" he looked up at her with a sweet smile and said "yeah...I hope I know some of the kids at camp." He said going back to his show. "I'm sure you will honey. Your cousins are going and some of your classmates." Jenna said reassuring him with a smile. He phone started to ring and it was Ima. She looked at Abel and said "Im gonna go out on the balcony n take this. When your done eating, brush your teeth and get dressed please." Abel gave her a thumbs up as she slipped outside on the balcony. "I was just thinking about you." she said leaning on the balcony.

Ima was in a hotel room in Vegas. She had a needle in her arm and said "I bet you were" as she shot herself up. "what going on with you?" Jenna asked curious. Ima said "Nothing just in Vegas." Jenna knew Ima had family in Vegas. But didn't know about anything other than that. Ima gulped and said "I'm not coming back this time Jen." This was heartbreaking news for Jenna to hear. She wondered what was wrong or what would make her go home but she couldn't let it affect her. "Oh." Jenna said sipping her smoothie sitting down on a chair. Ima sat up against the headboard of the bed eyes barely open. "Yeah..My Brothers friend got me a sweat gig out here. Plus its closer to home. Since My mom has cancer and all." Ima said telling white lies through her teeth. She was hooked on the heroin and she owed someone a lot of money more money than anything she had could pay off. It really was one of her brothers friend but the gig wasn't that sweet. It definitely would pay less than what the porn gig paid. Jenna just bit her lip and said "Yeah I get it...I'll get the lawyers to see if their is a way to get you outta your contract then with out any repercussions on you." She was handling this like business even though Ima was a lover. Jenna wondered if this was something deeper if something pushed her there. "Thanks Jen.. I'm sorry again for the short notice. But I promise to come visit when you have that little girl." Ima said quickly hanging up her phone since she had a John to take care of in her room. Jenna looked at the phone and sighed. There went another reliable person in her life. Someone she though she loved and trusted gone. Jenna was starting to thing maybe it was her. Jenna looked over the balcony to see if David was home but it seemed to be dim in his apartment and looked as if he were gone already. Though he was her past it was sort of nice having someone to talk to to instead of being alone.

Those thought were rushed out of her head when Abel came running from his room out to her. He wanted to show her what he had chosen to wear. He picked one of his white tees and a pair of jean short and his light up tennis shoes. Jenna nodded her head in approval looking at the time on her phone. She still had to get ready herself. She was till in one of Jax's tee shirts and shorts. Jenna walked inside locking the balcony doors and said "Looks good.. Now it is moms turn to get ready. So you can play on your Nintendo switch till I come out." Abel smiled and said "Otay" as he made a mad dash for it. Jenna walked to her bedroom and sighed. She looked at the boxes that had her clothes in them and just rolled her eyes. She didn't want to go searching for something her really wanted to just crawl in bed and cry some more and not come out but she couldn't she was a mother and had to be. She noticed a suit case and figured she had something in there. She grabbed it and threw it onto the bed and opened it. Inside were some clothes and some memories she kept stored there. As she found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that would fit her a picture fell out. The picture was her sitting on Jax's bike pregnant with Abel and Jax behind her smiling like the little happy family they were suppose to be. She shoved it back in and went to the dresser where she had some of her things unpacked into. Grabbing a bra and a thong she went into the bathroom and started to get dressed. But as she attempted this she couldn't look herself in the face in the mirror. every time she did she saw a shell of her former self and wasn't sure how to feel. Her dark roots were showing since she was a bottle job blonde these days. Jenna dragged a brush through her hair and put her hair in pigtail braids before putting on some light make up. Jenna looked at herself and said "you'll do" as she let out a sigh and came out of the bathroom.

When she walked out she grabbed her heeled boots which she loved to wear. They made her feel sexy and badass, Even if she was pregnant she still felt fierce. Grabbing her purse she made sure she had everything she would need for the day including her anxiety medication if she had to deal with Jax at any point today. Yes it was only a weekend but her heart was broken and all she wanted was to be home with him. But that was weakness and she was damned if she would let him ever earn the right to see her in that light ever again. She made sure to grab her sunglasses to hid her puffy eyes from anyone who could see them. As she walked out of her bedroom Abel turned off his game and turned to his mom who had grabbed her leather mini jacket and looking at herself in the mirror. To Him his mother was the same woman she always was. Putting on a great front for the world but he knew that she cried. But he also knew she tried to do her best to not let him see this. Though he thought moving would feel different Abel Knew she was doing her best to keep routine though he did miss some of the club members joining him for breakfast but he knew it had only been two days. Abel smiled at his mother as said "You look pretty Mommy." Jenna looked at him with a smile as it caught her off guard but it was what she needed to hear even if it was from a six n a half year old. "Thank you sweety." She said with a smile. Walking over to him she kissed his forehead and asked "Are you ready for camp?" "As ready as I will ever be Mom." He answered standing up giving her a hug and kissing her belly. Jenna held him close for a moment. But knew they had to go out into the real world. She grabbed her keys off the table at the entrance and looked around the home that really wasn't home and sighed, Knowing it would be hours before she saw this place again.

Another Chapter Down. More To Come again sorry it takes me forever to get chapters up. I hope you enjoy this and whats more to come.

xoxo

Faith