sabina21: thank you.

smoon4409: glad you're enjoying it.

2 reviews, that's nice, hope you all like how the progression is going, there's still more to come so stay tuned in! let me know what you think!

The devil within ch.5

Usagi POV

Minako and I meet up the following day at her place to tell Artemis about what's going on with Mamoru or Endymion of the negaverse now. I'm still wrapping my head around it. On one hand, I'm so grateful he's alive and obviously safe…for now but I'm still on the fence about how safe he actually is. I'm not trusting Beryl for anything BUT I do trust in her actions and that they will remain what I believe they are.

She is still a woman, after all, one who's in a warped sort of love with MY prince and has been since ever. Despite the many rejections she's faced it's as if she's unfazed and unwilling to accept reality. The evening I left Minako's I decided to try to figure out how Beryl's mind could be working by watching specific episodes of Deadly Women and just wound up a bit more terrified of what she could do to him.

I shut that off after just two episodes and wondered how much worse it could get for him in there knowing she was like many of the women that killed out of love or their version of it and she has the power of the negaverse behind her. It made her all the more volatile in my eyes. I told Minako about wanting to talk to Artemis so her suggestion for the next morning to meet up and discuss things with him made me want to talk to him more.

I left earlier than Luna could wake up and darted before she could figure out, I was even leaving. I should have stayed at Minako's that evening but I hadn't packed anything to go for overnight or for school. When I knocked on the door, she let me in as Artemis was drinking from his bowl when we spoke to him about the true events that had happened yesterday. Not the short summed-up version that we gave to the girls and Luna.

We couldn't tell them the full truth. Not yet. The summed-up version they had was there was an attack, both youma were dusted and the women there who were drained of energy were made sure to be found by police. We ensured they were given the right treatment later on as, as predicted they really did just need a good meal and some rest. The girls let it go and didn't push but were curious about the no-show generals.

We only let out that Malachite decided against staying once the two youma were dusted. Not to mention Mamoru at all as we needed more information. Artemis was obviously stunned by the full-length version we were giving him. From talking about his powers to conjuring up the fake fight so that he could show proof that he made the attempt for the crystal to the energy he admittedly took.

"So, let me get this straight cause that's a LOT of information to take in just under a minute." He sits himself down on the bed. "Mamoru is now going by Endymion, Prince of the negaverse."

We nod.

"He's got nega-powers, but he's not brainwashed into nega-scum?" he asks to clarify even as his words are completely that of disbelief which even I have to admit sounds far-fetched and nearly ridiculous, and had I NOT seen it I would have a hard time believing it too, YET it WAS true and this was real.

Minako added on as she knows Artemis better than myself."I know how it sounds Artemis I do, but I saw it for myself." She stopped leaning against the desk drawer she was at and walked towards him. "He had too many chances to hurt her, even kill her…" her voice dropped a bit on that one but we knew it to be the truth. I left myself vulnerable just as Rei would have predicted if she didn't already.

Yet he didn't do anything to hurt me, "Hell he could have even ripped the crystal from her, but he didn't."

He nodded to this as he sees that there were opportunities, ones that I didn't want to see but now I do see as I'm glad that Minako was there as my witness. I don't think I'd have much of a leg to stand on if she hadn't been there. Perhaps one of the other girls but somehow, I knew Minako would be my best bet.

Yes, she got to the game late with this whole saving the world thing, but she was also at it before any of us in England and I feel like that gave her a slight edge to it than I could give to the girls. Plus, she didn't have the hard hate on for Tuxedo Mask or the distrust that was woven in so deeply within Luna or Rei. Maybe Ami or Makoto but they'd still both try to express doubt and I needed to have a less close, perhaps an even less biased opinion of him.

Minako fit the bill for someone who was one of us yet still, unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, an outsider and who could see things even I myself couldn't see. We needed each other in this.

"And we all know that given the chance Beryl would have had him rip it from her the second he got the chance. There would have been no desire to run some long game on her."

He nods. "Agreed, Beryl would have wanted it the second she could have gotten it. She's not one to waste a moment on getting what she wants. Sorry. Usagi."

I nod my head as I say, "It's fine, I'm well aware that the witch has wanted him since things began, and has somehow convinced herself that this is the only way things can go."

Artemis now looks to me. "I may not like it, but it doesn't mean I don't understand it." He gives me an expression that I'm sure he's given to Minako several times over. One of understanding. "I wish you had told me about this last night, but I understand that there are factors involved. Mostly that yes I agree, Luna would be having a field day with this information and I can probably guarantee you that she'd want to keep you far from him."

I sigh. "I know, she would still think it's a ploy and NOT trust him. Despite the many, MANY times he's proven to be trustworthy," I spat towards the end.

He sighed and remarked, "Yes while Luna is very good at her job, top-notch actually, she has a bit of an over-protective streak when it comes to the royal family line. Especially regarding danger. I think it stems from back during the silver millennium. When we came from Mau to service your mother, Queen Serenity, she entrusted Luna to not just be her advisor but to also watch out for you when she couldn't. Luna took that to heart."

His words spark understanding within me now. Despite the fact he defended her, his words showed me the reason for the defense. Luna has a very compelling nature to be protective and it comes from a good place, her own loving heart and I admire her for that and respect it, but it doesn't mean she's not wrong on certain matters. That she's not wrong when it comes to what she would be prevented from happening.

I appreciate the insight from Artemis as I nod. "Point on that one, it also however means that till we know more about what's going on inside the negaverse we have to be hush about what we do know. I don't want too many people now to inadvertently tip off them that he's not a hundred percent kosher."

Minako agrees. "If they were to find out that Endymion isn't officially toting the company line…"

I close my eyes.

"The amount of torture they'd put him through…all over again…and who knows if he'd be able to get through it without being mentally and emotionally shredded." Artemis's words have me looking to him, "It may not be ideal but it's reality."

I nod understanding,

"It's also reason enough to keep hush about things so that we maintain an air of unknown around the others."

I'm glad that Artemis agrees with this.

"As it stands if the negaverse were to find out, what they could and would put him through might make what he went through last time a walk in the proverbial park. If this is really going on…" I send him a look but he maintains his stance, "IF this is really going on then he's put himself in a precariously beneficial and yet dangerous position."

This much I already knew about what Endymion was doing. It's why he had me attack him. "I know, it's why he had me beat on him and blast him. To make it look good."

Artemis nods, "Smart man. Had he walked away without ANY bruising or even a small amount then it would have looked like he took it easy on you. It would have placed suspicion on him and whatever noose Beryl has on him would have been tightened up considerably."

I swallow the lump in my throat as I see the wheels turning in Artemis's eyes. "What?" I ask him.

"Just calculating," He answers.

"Calculating what?" I have to know.

He turns to me fully, "The position he's in, it could provide a unique opportunity for us to possibly win this war. In fact…" he looks to Minako looking more sure of things now. "If played out correctly, this could potentially be an even better strategy in winning the war against Beryl. Let's face it right now, we're just waiting till she attacks next."

Minako and I both agree he's right on that front, we are usually waiting for the negaverse, or Beryl to make a move against us. Yet we do that cause we still have school. Families and lives that we are obligated to attend to, lives that we want to maintain for not just a sense of normalcy but because we love the people in our lives and refuse to give any sense of defeat by folding and stopping any of it.

The moment we stop living is a moment we're giving Beryl some form of control and we refuse to do that so it's an unspoken rule we've all created to be united not just in battle and in this fight but to continue with our lives as young women. As people surviving every day.

"I really think this could potentially be what gains our favor and helps us win IF we play it right."

I don't even bother to glare at him for the IF. He's right, IF we play our cards right, we could do this and we could do it without any fallout on our side. We just have to be brave enough and smart enough to outsmart her. I wasn't so naïve as the think that having Endymion on our side mean that it was a sure thing. If Beryl was truly smart and she found out that he was playing her, she could easily hatch a scheme that would entail our deaths.

Yet that only worked not only IF she was smart enough BUT if she was willing to kill him and I'm not entirely sure she was. Well, I was hoping, perhaps naively, that she would be unwilling to kill him to get what she wanted. After all, he was a part of what she wanted…I rubbed my temples a bit. Watching those episodes of Deadly Women might have messed with my thinking a little bit but it's not like it was true stories.

"Usagi…" Artemis gets my attention. "You must be aware though…IF it comes down to it…"

I shut him down. "It won't but IF it does…I will do what I have to do."

Thankfully he sees the seriousness in my eyes. That's when Minako steps up and points out, "Listen, I know that I got to the fight here late, a bit later than I had hoped to…" she admits as she sounds frustrated and a bit guilty by it.

Not that it was her fault sometimes things happen. "But it doesn't change the fact that I'm very in-tuned with my powers. Especially those of love."

I dart my eyes to Artemis and while I would normally hear some scoffing from one of the girls and even a slight eye roll from Luna Artemis doesn't bat a lash at her words. It's clear he has confidence in her powers of love and it sheds new light on how strong they are.

I'm glad we're having this meeting without anyone else here or I might have missed the subtly in which he stands by his charge. I almost feel envious of how close they are and of how much he entrusts her and shows her that he believes in her. Part of me wonders if I could ever elicit such a response out of Luna or if my previous lacking in battle is something that's just integrated with her mind.

"I know I hardly knew the man, but I know what I felt on each occasion that I saw you both interacting with each other. I know the vibes I got from both of you. I felt how strongly he feels for you, and you to him. When he told you how he felt I believed him, and I believe in this strategy of yours."

I nod, grateful for the encouragement from them both as we debate one last thing. "What about the what if option?" I ask.

Gaining their attention. "We present the girls with the 'what if' option of what's going on. Only we present it as 'what if this was the case' to see how they'd react to it. We'd get an idea of how their true feelings would be without them knowing and going ballistic IF that's how they were going to react."

Both Artemis and Minako agreed. "That's a good idea, when we get together after school today, I'll present it to avoid you from getting any backlash."

I agree thankful she thought to do that.

Once I left Minako's place as she went to her school and I went to mine I actually felt better. A bit relieved that things were somehow going in a better direction. Yes, we had to keep information hidden from the others for a bit but maybe with the 'what if' scenario we could tell them sooner. Yes, I hoped. I hoped from the moment I stepped foot into the school till my last class of the day where I kept my mouth shut about what was really going on with not just myself but for all those involved.

I wanted to tell my best friends what was going on, but I knew what would happen if I did without seeing their reaction to the what-if scenario AND before we were ready to. So when Minako, Rei, Ami, Makoto, and I met up after school at the temple we prepared to do some homework. We get over halfway through the subjects when Minako goes into an acting performance that makes me question if it would be better as a vocation rather than fashion as she didn't draw any suspicion for why she was asking it.

The girls become silent at the what-if question of Mamoru, now Endymion, now being a double agent working for us but pretending to work for them and still retaining his memories. Basically, every true thing that was going on but not told was the absolute truth we knew it to be. Ami seems to be giving it merit along with Makoto on the possibilities which make me feel a flutter of relief, yet I avoid showing any signs of it.

"I mean there would be benefits to it…" Ami agrees as Makoto joins in with, "Would be…? Have you ever seen a spy movie, there are huge benefits to it."

It makes Ami laugh as she agrees with her only to be slightly drowned out by Rei and Luna's objections.

"Yes well this isn't a movie where the hero gets to ride off into the sunset with the girl, this is real life our life." Ami shyly nods to Rei's words.

Makoto though retorts back with, "And how is us fighting youma on a weekly basis with magical powers from the four elements of our planets real life to others?"

This made Rei balk at her word choice as even Ami nor myself can stop the small giggle that hits us.

"She's got a point." I encourage Makoto, unable to help myself.

"That may be true but to the world out there, these are merely strange occurrences…" Luna begins, humping on the table to gain our attention. "If the world truly knew what we were capable of who knows what would happen or how they'd react to the truth."

I shoot a glace to Minako who gives me one to as Ami interjects, "Very true, any what-if scenario present, no matter the subject would only give a proportion of how a persons reaction would be."

I already knew that, but Ami somehow makes it feel less and less like my idea wasn't great.

"Back to the original what-if here…," Rei jumps back in, finding her voice again. "Honestly I wouldn't believe it. It would be a tactic to prey on your naivety."

Rei's words are directed at me, almost like she's daring me to start a squabble. Luna, unfortunately, adds, "She's right, these people know we're on the side of good and would use any tactic to get the crystal that they could."

Her words were not helpful. Yet what else was I expecting from this? For either of them to showcase that maybe there was an inkling that they could be wrong? To show an ounce of acceptance that he's not bad? I decided to play devil's advocate, "Okay well to play the devil's advocate here…" I leaned forward on the table, letting my pencil slip down for a moment as I asked making sure to not give anything away as this was a question presented this way for a reason which is probably why Minako gave me a look of 'careful' and reassurance all at once.

"When have they ever used psychological warfare like THAT against us before?"

Which makes both Ami and Makoto think on my words as Rei retorts, "An opportunity hasn't presented itself to use till now." She nearly smiles as if she's won that little battle.

That is till I remind her, "They've had several chances and they all floundered." She looks back to me as I have a subtle remember this moment look in my face.

"Remember when Nephlite tried something similar, he was figured out pretty fast and even wound up developing a friendship of sorts with Naru who inadvertently found his human side and got him to act on it."

I know Rei was trying to one-up me with that, but it obviously floundered in her face as she frowns getting Makoto to respond, "She has a point, if this were an actual case we could actually use it to our benefit."

I prevent the smile from hitting my face. Then Ami adds in, "The problem is this is only a possibility and not the reality of it."

I bite my lip to not give up those details as Minako and I give each other a small exchange look before anyone notices. Artemis keeps quiet himself observing all of this from his standpoint near her. "Mamoru is now part of the negaverse and he needs to be saved like any other civilian we have saved before him."

Her words aren't untrue but not as true as she thinks they are. She has most of the girls agreeing with her words which gives me a string of hope. Ami is the ever-reasoning voice here so if I can showcase to her the very real possibilities then I have the brains to know how well to strategize going forward. I can finally tell one of my best friends what's really going on and sure she might be a bit hurt but I do believe she and the rest will understand given time.

However, even as Ami and Makoto get ready to start to leave out, I can't help but notice the shared expressions between Rei and Luna as Minako and I share a few ourselves. Ami and Makoto leave out as we take more time with Minako and Artemis nodding to me that that'll wait outside the door for me. She nods in encouragement towards me to ask my question but to be subtle about it.

I take a breath. "Tell me something, is there something either of you has against Mamoru?"

"W-We just think that you're putting more interest in him than you should. You have training to do and you can't do it really well with him in the forefront of your mind," Rei stammers out.

I nod at her observation as I look to Luna for her thoughts as she tries to approach this in a diplomatic-like manner or at least as diplomatically as she can.

"I think what she's trying to say is while Mamoru is someone to be saved, he isn't your top priority, and right now, considering his previous objectives I'm not sure he should ever be considered one."

I cannot help but tense up at her words as they feel like she's trying to make it sound like he's barely considered to be savable. It hurts that they think this way even after everything that was revealed.

"He's a human that needs saving like any other, but…we still don't know what he will do in his evil form if given the provocation."

I can't help but counter with, "True, very true...But we also do know that he was genuine in helping BEFORE all of this happened."

That catches their attention. "I'm honestly in slight shock that even after everything that has happened that you both still hold such distrust towards him."

They gulp a bit as I continue with, "It's almost sad really, that a man that cares for me..." I hold back the tears as I get the words out. "Has helped ALL of us since we started and is now stuck in hell…literally is still being seen as what…expendable to you two?"

My volume doesn't rise but it feels stronger in its tone. Not shaking as I nearly feel it could be. Both of them gasp at the boldness of my words.

I can think of nothing else to say as I decide to leave off, knowing that Minako and Artemis who was waiting outside and heard all of it walk along with me. It's beginning to feel like we're a bit divided now. We cannot have this and yet it will continue till we all come to an agreement on Mamoru and where they believe his allegiance is. I know where it is, even Minako knows, she feels it as I do and Artemis knows it.

I just need to convince the rest of the girls of it but mostly, Luna...she's been there since the start and I want her to not only accept it but to know that he's not just some villain due to how he came upon the scene or initially acted but was doing so for a reason and is and always was on our side. I can show her this but I need to show her real proof and our testimonies I don't think will be enough

Rei POV

Usagi's words struck me shocked when she left out. I had no words for her. I never anticipated she'd say something like that or that she'd even think such a way. The way she held herself left me stunned in a way I was both proud of and a little perturbed by. She didn't cry out or get upset, at least not outwardly towards us nor did she make a big thing about her inquiry in front of everyone that was here.

She waited till most of the girls had left out before she brought it up. It was dignified and to be honest, for as long as I've known her which in my opinion is long enough to make a judgment call about her which I have with no regrets, she can be a cry baby, an outspoken person on what she thinks should happen...even when they REALLY shouldn't. Yet the girl that was before us was much more...she was different.

Since all of this happened she's been more subdued than usual and I had put that to the newfound information we all had, the memory overload that we all had to work with. Even I had to admit it was a lot to take in. When Usagi had passed out that evening I couldn't blame her even though I wanted to. I wanted to know more but that was also due to being overwhelmed with what had happened.

Finding out we were all once princesses of our respective planets hit home that things really were different for us. It was one thing to have powers and use them to protect others but to be honest we didn't think anything of it. We just went with the flow as Usagi did on all of it. All of the fighting, the youma, the generals, Beryl...all of it. Nothing truly hit us as to how different things were till the big princess revealed.

I'm sad to say I had a bad feeling it was Usagi all along but I also wished I was wrong. I saw a princess as being dignified, progressive, respected, well-mannered, a bit older, someone who would lead us to greatness. When I pictured our princess I did NOT picture Usagi as being that way at all and yet slowly every time I'd think about the princess Usagi would come to mind. I guess that was for a reason.

I know Usagi was as surprised as we were but I still wished it had been someone else. It was enough already she was our leader, that I couldn't sway the others to let me be it but for her to be the princess too and possibly a reluctant one to just stung. Not that I wanted to be it no, I wasn't the type to WANT that role. I had enough of being stuffed into stuffy dresses growing up whenever my father needed a 'family image' for his career.

I preferred my robes and my own choice of wardrobe. Don't get me wrong, getting dressed up is nice but the whole princess motif is just not my style. It just stung that it was her...worst of all she got him. Mamoru. So when she walked out of here, just now it was one more reminder of the things that had changed for us all. She was more than just Usagi now and I could see it clear as day on her face.

I was sure if Luna did though. I looked over at the cat and wondered what was going on through her mind regarding her charge. Usagi was less crybaby, less likely to start jumping into a pointless argument with me in which there were NO real winners, and more proactive with things around her. She's changed. That girl was more in control of her feelings than previously. She was more grounded even.

I truly didn't know how to respond and get the last word in for once. She even left out with an air of knowing around her that left me feeling like she had matured past me and now I was the one immature for not seeing something she did. However, her words as I thought on them weren't entirely wrong which struck me still. It's true Mamoru has always been there to help us whenever we needed him.

He saved us countless times, despite Luna's words that he was probably doing it to gain our trust which I took at face value at the time. After all, WHY was he helping us? I had questions that he never did give us, only Usagi's word and 'gut' feeling that he was a good guy and I didn't go off of gut like that. Not to mention I didn't trust her intuition at the time and it took me a while to gain even the trust I have in her now.

I have trust issues I know. I'm not apologizing for them either. I have them for a reason and I have yet to be proven wrong enough to change how I feel so no matter how trusting people may seem to be when you have someone that seems too good to be true they more than likely are and I want to know why. Mamoru never did give us a reason as to why so yeah I still held reservations regarding him.

It was her actions NOW that told me things had changed and that I think they were due to him, changes mostly within Usagi. The way she acted and responded just now was mature and yet still docilely outspoken. Graceful even. I mean I was stunned into silence without it being due to her yelling at me. She never once raised her voice to me and...I wanted to groan out loud in mental frustration over this.

I wasn't used to this, not to her actions. Not to this version of her that was able to articulate herself better than usual and leave me in her dust. I mean Seriously when did the blonde odango mature enough to do that? Or maybe she always did and just didn't act on it cause things with Mamoru or rather Tuxedo Mask just got real for her. For all of us really but mostly for her as things might become divided.

After all even Luna's words sparked shock for me too. Yeah, Tuxedo Mask was initially for himself but things have changed. Factors have changed for all of us. For him most of all. We don't know what's he's being subjected to in there, we can only speculate and there are too many avenues of what could be going on. Usagi could be very well valid in her points or I could be, we don't know yet.

Granted we now know he wasn't originally working with them since he was injured so severely by them. I doubt they would have done such a thing to one of their own, BUT as we later learned that's how Zoicite fell. Malachite's anger was proof enough that while Zoicite had been hit badly Usagi didn't do enough damage to mortally wound the general. Even I knew that much so thinking on that now it's possible they would have.

If he really was working with them all along then that's probably why they grabbed him up as they did. To bring back home their third player that was supposed to get close to us as I know Luna must have suspected on occasion. Granted she was naturally a suspicious person, or feline depending on how you looked at that, but still...she had trust issues as well and understood my side of things on that matter.

I played the devils advocate in my mind that he was on their side but it would be really negated to how often Usagi was vulnerable. He could have killed her and have taken the rainbow crystals instead of saving her as often as he did or helping her for that matter, but on the other hand he could as Luna stated, saved her to get close enough to get the moon rod from her that would hold the crystal.

Now the wand currently holds the crystal. I saw things from both sides but at the same point, I trusted more in Luna's judgment than in Usagi's on this. Don't get me wrong, he's Mamoru and we KNOW Mamoru. I dated him, however brief, however one-sided it may have been not that I'll ever admit to that out loud. He made it clear after a while I wasn't someone he was dating even though it got presumed we were after a while.

Even Motoki brought it up on occasion. I only hated Usagi knows now and can hold it over me. Either way, we know Mamoru, we got to see him as a person, and...oh this made things more complicated.

I understood where Luna was coming from but I also saw Usagi's side too and yet I did see how Luna's variation of things was more practical and spoke more to the 'senshi' side of me rather than to the side that spoke more about my feelings.

My feelings while valid as they were spoke of a guy who I know deep down didn't see me as I saw him, and yet I still pursued him. This, however, all of this that happened made so much difference...yet did it? Did it really or did I want it to or did I want it to NOT make a difference in things? I don't know, I was a bit conflicted on my feelings regarding where we stood with him yet to hear Luna say her piece made me turn to her.

"He's not expendable..." I begin as I recount Usagi's words from just a moment ago, "But he's not one of us…right?" Is he?

She looks to me, "He's not a senshi no BUT Usagi may have a point regarding his continued aid in our mission. It seems all of this has been maturing her lately." Luna seems to be conceding to this fact but something about this is rubbing me wrong. Her words regarding him just don't sound right.

Usagi and I don't normally agree on things, but this isn't the starting point for us either. This is a rare occurrence for her and me to have something in common. Shoot if anything Usagi and I have nearly come to blows over Mamoru. Not in the sense of fighting over him, no but in the sense of her not minding her business and now...now, he's Tuxedo Mask, now he's trapped in the negaverse and now...things are just complicated.

Not that she knew how she felt at the time before the big reveal of who we all were, which made my victory over getting a date with him all the sweeter since it meant that she couldn't try to come in. Not that I thought she would have BUT a small part of me had a bad feeling that if she knew they'd have gotten together sooner and I hadn't wanted that so her not knowing helped me out.

Even if I used her nativity to my advantage that just makes me smarter than her and means I should have won that bit. I did but it didn't mean I wouldn't lose the war still. Case in point, the moment that Mamoru got turned good again, depending on how this whole thing with his being trapped in the negaverse went he'd go back to Usagi. I didn't know how I'd feel about that or how I felt about how things were now.

It'd be like I won the battle but she won the war. Plus, not to be petty but we honestly did have more important things to consider. Mamoru was a good guy BUT he was just another innocent to save and as I did mention previously if sacrificing one person or a small group of people was needed to save millions how was that not a right move to make? Statistically speaking it made sense even though I HATED the thought of losing a life.

Was Mamoru's really going to impact ours or the world's? I recall him being the prince or something but in the grand scheme of things how much does that, does our own royal heritage matter in this? Does his life really matter above that of potentially millions of people if Beryl tried to use him against us? Would Usagi prioritize him over them? I'd rather think she was smart enough not to but if she thought she could save him...she might.

IT was a possible risk that I wasn't sure was worth the risk in all fairness. I had to ask Luna about some of the thoughts mulling around in my head. "Are we really trying to do this though? Make saving him a priority ABOVE the mission?"

She looks to me slightly stunned and affirms my own thoughts,."Oh of course not!"

I nod as I listen to her go on regarding Usagi and while I agree with her assessment, I'm still curious.

"Usagi will come around to understanding where we're coming from. She's just still dealing with having more of her world turned upside down. I mean being Sailor Moon is one thing but finding out that you're the princess on top of it, just give her some time." her words don't make me any less skeptical of what's going to happen. Usagi's changed, maybe not as a person far from it BUT she's definitely changed.

It's Luna's next words that startle me out of my reverie. "Do you still care for him?"

I don't want her to see the confirmation on my face so I look away fast from her. However, that move becomes counterproductive as it confirms her thoughts that I still do. It hurts yes but I'm not willing to let that sink in and allow more pain in the way Usagi has with him. I'm stronger than her and I refuse to see it any differently.

"Rei..." she presses me as I can't help but give her the slightest inch into how I feel. She might be one of the few who could understand given how we both have trust issues and both are closed off in different areas.

"It just doesn't seem fair is all." I looked out the door as if expecting to see Usagi or even Mamoru as stupid as that is but nothing. Nothing but the slow glow of the sun in the distance. "I actually dated him. They hated each other and now all of a sudden their in love and I get pushed to the side and I have to be OKAY with it."

Luna's paw reaches out towards me as I feel it on my arm. "No one's asking for you to be okay with it but Rei, as much as I hate to say it, I do believe Usagi cared for him more than she wanted to believe it."

Just because I suspected it doesn't mean I thought anyone else did. I feigned ignorance wanting to know what she observed, I just didn't want her to know that I had already suspected how deep things went for them while I was dating him.

"What do you mean?" I ask as she confesses to me, "Don't tell Usagi that I told you, but she followed you guys on some of your 'dates' as a way of looking out after you..."

I feel for a moment like my brain stopped working. She did WHAT?!

I think Luna can sense the rising anger in me as she continues with, "But I think she was also trying to figure out what drew her to him as well."

That little...anger began to rise even more within me. How had I been so totally engrossed with him that I didn't feel her nearby watching us! It's a total violation of trust and I don't care that it was done out of her need to watch out for my safety I was a senshi damn it.

"She never interfered…that I can remember but…she wanted you to be safe and was concerned."

I can't help the eye roll in response to her words, "So she stalks us as we date yet it's okay cause its out of concern THEN she discovers she has feelings for my boyfriend and it's still okay?"

Luna furrows her brows as she nearly spits out, "That's what you took from that?"

I open my mouth for her to put her paw to my lips. It was but calmingly cutie and weird at the same time.

"No Rei, I mean yes she did follow you but when have you and the girls NOT done that to her and him several times?"

Okay she has a point there.

"And you two went out a few times but was he actually your boyfriend?"

I hated that she had a point as even I questioned it at times. I refused to admit to it out loud, but it didn't erase the feeling I got at times.

"I'm thinking that your protests to help him out are less than the necessary reasons and more on the ones that mean he can't be with her."

I didn't want to admit to it but perhaps she has a point that I don't want to believe in or admit to myself. While I held my jealousy issues even I knew there was a bigger picture, yet perhaps my jealousies were bringing a new conflict into this that I wasn't fully aware of.

I didn't want to contemplate it but perhaps it was something I wouldn't have any choice but to acknowledge especially if I wanted to help in this fight we were in. Usagi has already changed a bit for the better, it might be time to accept that Mamoru holds a bigger placement in this than I realized or maybe even more than Luna realized either.

As she leaves out ready to go back to Usagi's or perhaps just to do a patrol she tells me, "Think on it."

I nod as I debate over my own struggling internal thoughts.