Chapter Thirty-Two
There are many things in life one can never realize how much they wanted or needed until it appears before them. I had always contented myself with my duties and station within the Sakura Empire, as both a military and spiritual leader. During all of those years, I had rarely felt a want for anything, as etiquette alone dictated that I had to embody the virtues of selfless devotion and dedication to the well-being of the empire. As the saying goes, to not know is Buddha, and Buddhist teachings said that desire was often the root of all suffering. If I had chosen not to attend tonight, I could have lived in blissful ignorance of how much I wanted to hear DeWolf say: 'would you honour me with a dance?' Those words alone made my heart skip a beat.
If only they had been said to me. Instead, all I could do was stand to the side and watch with a look of forced, polite support, as Captain DeWolf offered his hand out to Choshu.
"Wh–me?" Choshu stammered back. She was far from the only person surprised by the choice. "B-but why? It is not as though I am one of your subordinates. I… I am just a guest here." Her voice dipped to a nearly inaudible whisper, and only because I stood so close could I even make enough of it out. "I am nothing special…"
He gave a reassuring smile as he outstretched a hand. "You can be what you choose to be," he whispered back. "And it's okay for you to be happy."
Though, she placed her hand into his awaiting palm. "What if I lose it again?"
"Then we'll help you find it again, together."
After a deep, calming breath, Choshu nodded and followed DeWolf out onto the dance floor. As the music slowly began, we all watched with a mix of reverence and envy as the pair began their gentle, rhythmic waltz. It went at a simple, sedate pace, no doubt because DeWolf anticipated that Choshu wouldn't be very familiar with any western dance styles. He held her close, hand-in-hand, and guided her patiently through each motion. A keen eye could even see his lips moving, likely whispering each step to her in advance and encouraging her along.
A gentle nudge to my side drew my attention to Unicorn, who was still beside me. "I really thought he would have asked you," she said.
Though there was a hint of disappointment, it wasn't nearly as much as I thought it would be. "It is fine," I replied. "I know why he chose her. He wanted her to know that while he can not give her what she wants, he can still offer her what she needs." Yet as true as that reasoning might be, it did little to dull the subtle stinging in my heart.
Unicorn just stared in puzzled silence. In time, perhaps, she would come to understand, but for now it was better to just enjoy the moment for what it was. For a brief moment, it even looked like Choshu was truly at peace with herself, smiling as she rested her head against the captain's chest. I wish I could hear what they were saying, but even with my vulpine ears I couldn't make anything out with the constant barrage of woodwind and string quartets from the speakers.
"Frustrating, isn't it?" a familiar voice took me by surprise. I snapped my gaze to the side and discovered that Akagi had managed to make her way back to me. She stood, arms folded, with an aura of restrained aggrievement. She was tense–I could see how her fingertips were digging into her forearms as she watched the pair. "You do everything you can for someone, only to have them choose somebody who's barely shown an iota of interest. Makes a woman almost want to set the whole ocean on fire."
"You should know well enough that he is not trying to court Choshu," I reminded my colleague. "It is a simple gesture to show that she is not merely an outsider to our base. He is being considerate of her feelings, and how stressful these days have been for her lately."
Akagi let out a resigned sigh as she relaxed, still disappointed but at least her nails weren't threatening to tear through her own flesh. "Even when he disappoints, you can't help but admire him. I suppose there are worse things in the world than being 'too considerate of others.'"
"I am certain you will have your opportunity to continue your hunt soon enough." I almost wanted to chastise her for trying to continue her plots and schemes when he was trying to help a fellow Sakuran, but with far too many ears nearby, I did not wish to expose her so publicly. "Allow him a night of freedom to enjoy himself."
"You make me sound so nefarious," Akagi scoffed under her breath. She would likely have left it at that except that something else caught her eye. At first, I thought she was glaring at me, but when I remembered whom I've been having conversations with, I realized that she had actually fixed her gaze on Unicorn, who had taken shelter behind me while I had been speaking with Akagi. "Why is that child staring at me like that? Does she think I'm going to bite?"
Spotted, Unicorn let out a timid squeak as she tucked in tight behind me, which wasn't the easiest thing in the world considering we were about the same size, vertically at least.
"Calm down, Akagi," I advised. "Her name is Unicorn, of the Royal Navy. Please mind your words with her. You are coming off a bit… aggressive." That was about the politest way I could phrase that she was scaring the poor girl. "Just give her some space."
Akagi let out a quiet growl. "Why am I always the one being told to mind my words? Just because the Royal Navy's learned how to phrase things more politely, doesn't make their barbs any less cutting," she protested. "And sometimes the things they don't say are just as telling. If you have something to say, child, just spit it out already. I can promise my reaction will be no better than if you don't."
Needless to say, she came off about as welcoming as a full spread of torpedoes, and just as explosive. "Akagi, what has gotten into you? She has done nothing to you."
"Of course she hasn't, just like everyone else. They just give distrustful stares and whisper behind my back, and then smile to my face and say 'how nice of you to finally join us', as if I can't understand the subtext." From the sounds of it, her time escorting Captain DeWolf through the party had not gone as smoothly as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell if she was just being melodramatic and paranoid, or if members of the Royal Navy had been less than welcoming to her. Many of them could be like Unicorn–simply too nervous or scared to offer out a friendly hand–but Akagi in such a heightened state, even a peace offering could be seen as a threat. "It's one thing for people to have a problem with me," she continued on, "but it is frustrating how passive-aggressive they are being about it. I would rather they just be upfront and honest with me. If they hate me, then they should just damn well say so!"
It was no surprise that Akagi's voice, which had been steadily increasing since the start of our exchange, would attract attention from our surroundings.
"Akagi! Just what do you think you're doing?" It was Illustrious, whom I recognized from the brief exchange when DeWolf and I visited the 'training exercise' that Akagi held. Unlike my colleague, whose words were as sharp as her fangs, Illustrious' temperament carried a more subtle, but firm, resolve to it. "You leave Unicorn alone. Haven't you done enough to trouble her already?"
For her part, Unicorn took the opportunity to retreat to a more secure location behind Illustrious' white and blue-trimmed ball gown.
"I've done nothing of the sort: I barely even spoke to her. She was petrified the moment she saw me," Akagi shot back. I was not the only person growing worried about the confrontation, as more nearby kansens began to watch and whisper amongst themselves. However, with both of them being among the seasoned carriers of their respective nations, none dared to risk an intervention.
"Akagi, please, now is not the–"
Alas, even my words were falling on uncaring ears, blown to the wayside like leaves in a brewing storm.
"Nothing? Are you not forgetting the day that you brought your Siren friends to our doorstep?" Illustrious challenged, taking a resolute step closer. "It might've meant nothing to you, but poor Unicorn here was almost sunk that day. It was a harrowing experience, and one, I might remind you, that you've never so much as even expressed an ounce of remorse over."
Akagi met the advance with a forward step of her own, which was reciprocated in kind until the two of them were almost in each other's faces, held apart only by the size of her… flight decks. "I'm sure you'd love to have me on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness, hm? Maybe locked with a collar like you've done with Lady Nagato–turned into a tamed housepet for you to lord over. The only person that should be apologizing to that girl is yourself, for coddling her so much that she's utterly helpless without the rest of you to save her. I would have thought at least one lesson from my training exercise would have sunk in, but perhaps a certain part of you is sapping all the nutrients from your brain."
"That farce of an exercise was nothing more than an excuse for you to bully and harass our people for the sake of your own battered ego."
"Battered ego? From what?" Akagi scoffed.
"Because you lost. First to the Sirens, then to the Azur Lane."
This was going to get a whole lot worse before it got any better. If I weren't wearing the collar, I could at least ready myself to intervene, but all I could do in its absence is keep an eye out for the nearest exit and pray that nobody decided to escalate things.
"You did not win; Enterprise did. The rest of you were just along for the ride." Akagi's voice had risen to the point where even the kansens on the far side of the hall were taking note, and more importantly, even Captain DeWolf, who was already making his way over. "That exercise, if you had bothered to pay attention, was to teach you how to react swiftly and decisively, which is something you in the Royal Navy have always lacked. You hamper yourselves always trying to coddle and protect the weak rather than finding ways to make them stronger. All you wind up doing is teach them to become dependent on you! But that's what you want, isn't it? The entire world once again under the watchful eye of the undisputed Royal Navy–an empire upon which the sun will never set."
Illustrious scoffed loudly. "Slander and paranoia. Exactly what one can expect from a fox like you. The kansens of the Royal Navy are committed to working with humanity in order to protect this world. We protect them so that they can grow stronger in time."
Much to my relief, the captain soon arrived. "Is everything okay here?" he asked, even though his tone suggested that he knew full well that things weren't. "Miss Akagi, I know you have your own opinions on the Siren threat, but–"
Alas, even DeWolf was powerless to stop Akagi once she had become riled. "Protect? You? Don't make me laugh!" she barked, seemingly oblivious to even the captain's presence. "The Crimson Axis has no interest in waiting for your 'protection' to bear fruit. We've seen how well your tactics work. How about that officer that you were always so proud of? The one you Royalists lauded as the next Admiral Nelson at every conference and summit. What was her name again? Cunningham?"
"Akagi, please… that name…" I tried to speak up, but I feared it was too late.
"All your fancy talk about protection and nurturing humanity, about elevating us all, and where did that get you? First encounter with a Siren and your precious commander was dead! Protect humanity? How can you be expected to protect the world when you can't even protect the person you care about the most?"
I had no idea where Akagi planned to take this line of reasoning. I think she was just so fed up with the Royal Navy that she was lashing out however she could, and hitting them right where she knew their pride was most fragile. Whether she intended to keep going for the jugular was irrelevant, though, as a slap suddenly rang out–a strike so utterly profound and audacious that the entire banquet hall fell silent in an instant. I hadn't seen Akagi brought to heel so quickly since Amagi still walked among us. She just stared in stunned silence, as we all did, because it wasn't a kansen who had struck her: it was DeWolf.
"You do not know a thing about her." His pointed finger trembled as he spoke, his breath and voice no less shaky until he forced it down. "Vicky… Cunningham… gave everything for us. What do you even know of sacrifice?"
Drawn by the commotion, King George V rushed to the captain's side. "James, are you okay?"
However, when she reached out to him, she was promptly brushed aside. "I need some air," he said bitterly, and marched for the nearest exit. Not a single soul tried to stop him.
No sooner did the door shut behind the captain did the hall erupt in a cacophony of whispers and murmurings. Worried about Akagi, I approached her. She hadn't moved an inch since she was struck, save for one hand that gently palmed where her cheek was still red.
"He… he hit me…"
"I do not condone violence, but… you have no one but yourself to blame," I said. Whatever thoughts plagued her, though, they were no longer my foremost concern. While everyone else was still trying to make sense of what happened, I gave chase after DeWolf. Most of them were too far back to tell, but I could see it was on his face and hear in it his voice: they were both full of pain. I had to help him.
Outside, in the dead of night, it was almost impossible to figure out which way he went. The exit he chose emptied out in a barely lit roadway, and without much moonlight to assist, I had nary a single lead. I wouldn't have thought him to be able to get so far in such a short time, but when I thought about it, his stride was a lot longer than mine. He could probably cover as much ground in a couple of steps that would require several from me. It made me realize how much he must have had to slow himself down just so I could keep pace with him whenever we walked together.
"Captain!" I called out into the dark. "Captain, where are you?" All I could do was wander around, shouting out for him and praying that he would let me find him. As the minutes ticked by with nothing but silence and the distant churning of the ocean, worry began to turn to anxiety. Where could he be? He had to be somewhere nearby–it was an island naval base, after all.
"I can find him," Akagi's voice cut through the night. It took me by surprise, although not so much because of its sudden arrival, but by the listless tone it cut. I watched as she approached, her once composed and confident gait all but a memory. Her tails dragged behind her like anchors across a seafloor, dragging down both her and her words. "My planes can find him faster than you can by yourself. I… I didn't mean for this to happen…"
"The most grievous wounds are rarely the ones delivered with intent," I replied. "Akagi, I know you wish to make amends, but perhaps it would be best for you to stay out of this for now."
"B-but I have to tell him! He needs to know I never intended to hurt him! I… I didn't know!" Sympathy gripped my heart, for the kansen I saw before was unlike any Akagi I had seen before. She couldn't even meet my gaze, and I swore I could see something that looked like fear in those crimson eyes of hers. She looked so… vulnerable. Lost. Adrift in her own failing emotions and pain.
Yet despite all that, I could not ignore my own feelings, and even my patience had its limits. "Why? So you can continue to use him for your own gain?" I shot back. "There is a picture of Miss Cunningham in his office. They were more than just comrades–they were close. You trounced upon his emotions and his memories… and for what? Is this Wishing Well truly worth crushing his heart and soul?" Before I realized it, I was now the one shouting. Like a flash fire, it all just came rushing out in a fury. "He is a good man who just wanted to make this fleet better, and you could not see past your selfish whims and pride! If the strength and survival of the Sakura Empire means sacrificing people like him, using them as pawns and treating them as resources to be exploited and discarded, then I would rather see it turned to ash. We are better than that. We have to be!" It was a surreal feeling seeing Akagi being the one to have fallen so silent. Any other day, she would have interrupted me a dozen times by now, or given me some kind of reassurance or placation. There would be something. Anything! However, I cared little for what she had to say in the moment, and just pressed my advantage. "Gods help you, Akagi, because if Captain DeWolf cannot find it in his heart to forgive your transgressions, then neither shall I."
I only fell silent because the last of my fury had been spent, leaving nothing but burning embers in my heart, and the rising ashes that had been my hopes for the night. A tense silence loomed in the air as I awaited her response. She couldn't just leave it at that, could she? Slowly, but surely, her gaze and finally sorrowful eyes met with mine.
"Maybe I don't give a damn about the Wishing Well…" she replied in a tired murmur. "Maybe it was just easier to let you think I was a selfish spy than the truth."
"But you said your orders–"
"Bring back actionable intelligence on the Wishing Well project, or don't bother coming back at all," she cut me off. "Those were the words of the admiralty; my last chance with them. You might have protected me from the immediate backlash, but not the fall from grace. Little by little, I've been stripped of my station and authority. Why do you think they were so willing to let me go along with you?" A bittersweet smile crossed her features as she stepped closer. "A traitor… a Siren patsy… a dear friend… a wise mentor… a beloved sister… a trusted ally… everybody is trying to figure out who and what I am."
"Then why DeWolf? Why this pursuit? This fixation?" I shouted, throwing my arms into the air in exasperation.
"Because he's the only one who just wants me to be Akagi."
I had no idea how to respond. Had I been such a fool that I overthought everything she had done thus far, and missed the answer that now seemed so obvious that I wondered how I never gave it serious consideration before. She had been trying to get close to him because that's where she wanted to be.
"Do you think a kansen can have a soulmate?" she pondered aloud. "We're not fully human, and our wisdom cubes aren't exactly souls."
"You have feelings for him," I replied once the realization finally set in. "But… how? Why? You have never shown that sort of interest in anyone before. I did not even think you cared about romantic affairs."
"And why not?" she asked with a hint of a familiar whimsical tone. "I'm just as human as everyone else." She sighed as she strode past me, continuing down the ill-lit walkway and prompting me to follow suit. "I just want to protect the people that I care about. But as Akagi, the memories imbued within me are full of pain, suffering, and failure. There is only so much I can achieve by that power alone, so I did whatever I had to, even if that meant bargaining with 'gods'. But now that's all in the past, for I think I have found what I truly needed…"
"Captain DeWolf?"
She smiled and shook her head. "A second chance. And, yes… a humble man who cared not for who I was or what I've done, just that I would keep fighting."
Every time I thought I finally got a grasp on her, she's managed to find a way to surprise me. Honestly, a part of me would've rather she had been that selfish spy, for at least that I could stand up against.
"You said you could find him," I asked since we were getting distracted from the important matters.
She chuckled as she directed a finger skyward. "I already have–while you were shouting at me. He's at the beachfront, about a quarter-kilometre that way." Akagi then pointed me off in the new direction, and while I considered for a second that she might send me on a wild goose chase in order to give herself an opportunity to be with DeWolf alone, a bittersweet smile put those thoughts to rest. "Please bring him back to us. And please… tell him that I'm sorry."
Maybe I was a hopeless fool, but a part of me refused to forsake one friend in order to help another. Akagi was just about to turn and leave when I grabbed her by the wrist. "You shall tell him yourself," I said before pulling her along.
Plus, it made for good insurance just in case Akagi tried to mislead me, not that I suspected her. Mostly.
Thank the gods, though, Captain DeWolf was at the beach, just as described. He sat alone upon a fallen log that had been pared down and repurposed as a bench. I took it as a good sign, at least, since he didn't look like a man still simmering with anger and frustration. That said, it was impossible to tell what lay beneath the surface until one dipped a toe in. I gestured for Akagi to stay back for a moment, and to allow me a moment to speak with him alone. For all we knew, seeing her again could set him off. He was hunched over, silent and still, like a lone piece of flotsam in a still ocean. He didn't even react as I took my first cautious steps towards him. Even when I finally stood at his side, he did not move, and I discovered that he was not staring off into the distant horizon as I had initially thought, but instead his gaze was fixated on the medal he held in his hand. I recognized it as one of the awards he had on his jacket when he arrived–it was a four-pointed gold star adorned with numerous maple leaves upon it. I was not familiar with every nation's honours, but it looked rather prestigious, which made it all the more confusing that he regarded it with such a sober and defeated expression.
"Hello sir," I finally spoke up, if only to break the silence. His only response was a quick glance in my direction. "Do you mind if I have a seat?"
When he remained silent but made a subtle gesture to the bench, I took that as the invitation and sat down beside him. I didn't want to push him or come off as nosy, so I gave him some time to adjust to my presence and provide an opening if he wanted to take those first steps. On any other occasion, it would've made for an enjoyable moment, although the cloud-filled night sky offered little to enjoy. There was beauty in the tranquillity, however; a stillness in the world broken only by the subtle motions of the ocean currents. It was like the whole world was asleep.
Eventually, though, I realized if there was going to be any progress, I had to make the first move. "Sir, do you remember when we first met? Back then, I thought you were cold… stand-offish. You brushed Akagi aside like she was nothing. Looking back, though, I know now that you were just coping with your pain as best as you could. You had lost your ship, and crew that you probably considered close friends. But as their commanding officer, you are required to act and behave in a certain way: you must be calm… stoic… in control." I paused and looked to him in the hopes he had responded in some manner. He was still silent, but he looked back at me at least. "If you wish to talk, then I will listen. Not as your subordinate, or your secretary… simply as Nagato. And I will listen for however long you need me to."
Sullen eyes fell back to his medal, his thumb running over the maple leaf emblem at its heart. "I was never meant to be the type to get a medal like this. I was a desk officer: I wrote papers, planned combat exercises, and did strategic analysis. The only reason I got caught up in all this kansen business is because my brother's work caught the attention of the Royal Navy's Special Projects division, and he brought me along to help. If it hadn't been for her, though, I'd still be behind a desk somewhere."
"Miss Cunningham?"
He nodded. "The Royal Navy's shining star. Everywhere she went, people just gravitated to her. She was the granddaughter of the First Sea Lord, top graduate out of Greenwich, and she had Her Majesty's favour. Even King George V was completely enamoured with her. Those ladies are hard to impress, let me tell you that much." A longing, wistful sigh floated from his lips. "She made me believe I could do more, be better… but I never imagined that somebody as lauded and beloved as her would ever choose a man like me."
She… chose him? I had suspected they were close, but I thought it had been purely professional. In hindsight, though, his reactions could not have been those of a man who simply missed a treasured mentor. The wound in his heart was much deeper than that.
"Do you mean the two of you were…?"
"She was my wife." Such simple words, so delicate in the air, and yet as he spoke them he looked as though he would break under their weight. "She's the one who's supposed to be here. She's the one who dreamed of the great, unified kansen fleet. This was her dream; I was just supposed to help where I could. She was… she was…" His voice cracked just before he turned away, one hand clasped over his eyes. Even now, he still didn't want others to see him hurt, but no matter what I refused to look away.
I reached over and just touched his shoulder. "James, look at me." Slowly, his gaze was coaxed to meet mine. Tears were already clinging to the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill out. "You have been carrying this pain with you for a long time, have you not? Always putting on a brave face for everyone's sake. I am sure you keep telling yourself that you need to stay strong, to keep it together, but you can let it out now. You do not need to hide yourself anymore. It is okay for you to admit that you are not okay."
It started with a few faint and gentle sobs, a slow trickle of the late night shower. Little by little it grew, a trickle eventually becoming a baubling crook of tears. As he wept, I took hold of his hand and gave him a gentle, reassuring squeeze, just to let him know that I was still there for him. As I watched him drain all his woes, I wondered just how long it had been since he had last allowed himself such a moment of vulnerability. Men do not cry. An officer stays in control of his emotions. How long had these expectations kept him shackled to his grief? After a few minutes, the well eventually ran dry, punctuated by a strangely relieved sigh from the captain.
"There are mornings I still wake up and expect her to be there in bed beside me," he murmured weakly. "I hear an office door open and I hope to see her to stroll in, or when it hits three in the afternoon I'm still waiting for her to throw all her papers over her shoulder and just go, 'bollocks to this, it's time for tea.' But those moments never come anymore. They never will." A bittersweet chuckle from him brought new hope that maybe he could finally let go of the pain that he had been clinging to for all these years, though I knew it was likely just a brief surge that would just as quickly recede back into the cold abyss. "I… I really miss her, Nagato. I thought I could be content with just my work, but when she stepped into my life, she just took it over completely. She became my world. And with her gone, I just feel so… lost."
I recalled our conversation way back when we were barely acquainted with one another, in the machine shop on board the Akagi. Back then he was in a similar pain from the loss of his ship and members of his crew, and when he wanted to withdraw and hide himself away, I found something that coaxed him out. Gods willing, the same approach could work here.
"It sounds like she was an incredible person," I said. "I would like to hear more about her."
"I would like to as well," Akagi's voice cut in, drawing both of our attention to her as she took cautious, tentative steps towards us. "If you'll let me, that is. If you want to send me away, I understand."
I worried that my colleague's arrival might provoke a resurgence of DeWolf's temper, but thankfully the crying appeared to have left him drained. He simply nodded and shifted over just enough so that Akagi could take a seat on the bench as well. Despite both of us making room for her, though, she made the, in hindsight, predictable choice of sitting beside the captain. I expected her to be as forward as she always is, so it came as a surprise to see that she kept a notable distance from him all the same with even her tails not daring to pass this unseen barrier.
"I thought I had gotten away from the me that kept hurting those close to her," she said with a dejected sigh.
"I know you didn't mean it," DeWolf reassured her. "And even though I was angry at you, I shouldn't have hit you."
"No, sir!" Akagi exclaimed as she suddenly took the captain's hand. "You struck me out of love. You loved her, sir. You still love her. And you should never, ever apologize for your love, no matter where it leads."
DeWolf pulled his hand away, gently though. "Love has made many a people do incredible, stupid, and selfish things," he reminded her. "No matter how justified I felt in being angry with you, that does not excuse violence. And before you say anything, that still applies even if I couldn't have hurt you had I thrown my whole weight into it."
"Love is meant to be passionate, sir, so I don't mind."
He managed a weak smile, and finally straightened out his posture so he wasn't so hunched over. "Vicky would definitely be agreeing with you on that. Be bold, be decisive, fortune favours the daring, and all that jazz. Fearless… bulletproof… she could practically move mountains when she set her mind to it. I still remember when she first asked me out: she just ran straight up to me in the middle of the hallway, slammed me right into the wall, and just said 'you. Me. Dinner,' and then just walked off like it was nothing."
"I must say, I like her style," Akagi said with a playful chuckle.
"She sounds quite forceful," I added.
"Well when you're part of a navy with people like Her Majesty or King George V in charge, you had to be in order to even be heard," DeWolf continued on. "One time we were on shore leave in the Mediterranean near Malta. It was supposed to be a relatively safe zone, but all of a sudden the Siren raid alarm went off. Naturally, we all raced back to the flagship to assume our duties, except Vicky had been out swimming so she arrived on the bridge in nothing but her swimsuit and some boots that I'm pretty sure she stole from a passing rating. When the admiral showed up, she just gave him a single glare that screamed 'not a word' and he just zipped his mouth shut." Despite all his sorrow just a few moments ago, retelling the story had already brought a smile back to his face, and his words were interspersed with quiet, restrained chuckles. "Then later, Renown shows up and she looks at Vicky and asks why she's in a swimsuit. Vicky replies with a dead straight face, 'it's tactical. Decreases drag and improves flexibility.' Next day, Renown shows up to training in the exact same swimsuit–says she wanted to see if it would improve her results."
We all shared a quiet laugh, and once we were finished, he went on to tell us another story about his wife. And then another. And then another after that. After he had talked his throat dry, Akagi shared a few stories of her sister, Amagi. Then I shared a few of my own memories of her. We talked for what felt like ages. I never would have thought that sharing in grief would bring people closer together. Perhaps it was that ability to find unity in shared hardships that had allowed humanity to be so resilient for so long, and how even in the face of an opposition as overwhelming as the Sirens, they continued to fight on. The advent of kansens only gave humans the tools to fight back and win, but the drive to persevere existed long before that. If kansens hadn't come along, humanity might have lost, but I had no doubt that they would have fought to the bitter end, especially people like Cunningham and DeWolf.
After a while, we ran out of stories to share, so we just sat in silence and enjoyed one another's company. To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Akagi had scooted herself closer to the captain little by little until, somewhere in the midst of our collective reminiscing, she was resting right up against him. If he noticed, DeWolf didn't seem to have any complaints. Then again, I was the one who took the captain's hand at the start of the conversations, and I never actually let go at any point. Not that that had ever been my intention, of course. I only did so because I thought he could use the comfort.
It wasn't simply because I wanted to.
"You know, it's funny," DeWolf eventually spoke up, breaking the peaceful silence. "When I lost Vicky, I asked my father about how long it took after my mother passed away for the pain to stop."
"What was his answer?" I asked.
"He said that it never does. You just learn to live with it, one day at a time. You'll start off feeling as though you will never be okay again. Little by little, though, the pain will lessen. Imperceptibly, at first. There will always be bad days, but they'll become further in-between. Then, at some point, months or years down the road, you'll find yourself thinking about her, but instead of feeling sadness that she is no more, instead you'll be smiling and thankful that she was. And on that day, you will say to yourself, 'I'm going to be okay.'"
With a hopeful smile, Akagi leaned in a bit. "And what is your heart telling you right now?"
He looked at Akagi for a moment, then to me. He was smiling now; a soft, gentle smile as opposed to the normal bittersweet. "It's telling me that I'm going to be okay," he answered. "Thank you, to both of you. I… I never thought I'd be able to talk about Vicky without breaking down. I always thought of it like a knife hanging over my head, and even the slightest mention would bring it down."
"But instead it was a knife that was already inside," I added. "Perhaps now it has finally been removed, and you can begin to heal."
"Speaking of removed," DeWolf said, groaning as he finally stood up, "I think we have kept ourselves removed from the party for long enough. We should go back–the weather's starting to turn and if that fog gets any worse then they'll probably start sending out search parties."
His comment caught my attention and drew my gaze to the horizon, or rather the lack thereof now that a subtle, encroaching bank of fog had crept up on the shoreline. "Sir, I do not recall the weather reports warning of any such occurrence," I commented.
"You're right. Forecasts for the rest of the week were clear."
Akagi got to her feet as well, but stepped ahead of DeWolf. "Captain, be a dear and stay behind me," she cautioned.
We had all been so fixated on the conversation that none of us noticed the fog creeping in. Given how often it's served as a prelude to calamity, caution was understandable. DeWolf reached into his coat to fish out his phone, but just as he was about to dial, a voice called out from the mist.
"I would advise against any sudden movements." While the voice might have left the others confused, I recognized it immediately, and so didn't even need to see the figure of Choshu's sister, Mutsu, emerge into view to know it was her. The kansen, clad in armour, strode across the ocean waves towards us, stopping just shy of the beach. "If I wanted to start a fight, I would have come out shooting, but if I so much as see even a glisten of a rigging, I will turn this beach into a crater.."
She already had us in the sights of her full battery of forty-one centimetre guns, and while Akagi and I could, with a bit of luck, survive an initial salvo from her, we'd be fishing pieces of DeWolf out of the bay afterwards.
Despite the obvious risk, Captain DeWolf eased Akagi to the side and stepped towards the intruder. "If you're not here to start trouble, then you must have another reason to be here," he stated with remarkable calmness. "You're Mutsu, correct? That must mean you're here for your sister."
She chuckled, but not in a manner that instilled any sense of reassurance. It was the kind of laugh that made one's hair stand on end. She drifted closer to the captain, and Akagi would have lunged for her throat had I not gestured for her to stay where she was. Any sudden movement could provoke bloody retribution, and I was not about to risk the captain's life.
"How astute. You must be the man in charge," Mutsu observed. Once she was face-to-face with him, she leaned in a bit, as if scrutinizing his worth, humming in amusement all the while. "You're a brave man. I would've expected you to be at least a little nervous. You know I could snap you in twain in a heartbeat if I so wished."
"I've been threatened with worse by better people," he replied. "You don't have to do this, Mutsu. Whatever the Sirens are promising you, they aren't your allies, and they won't uphold their end of any bargain. They'll just use you and then toss you aside when they're done."
"They might try, sure, but when my plan is through, even the Sirens will think twice of opposing me," Mutsu replied. "Now I want my sister returned to me, immediately."
"Why? Is it for her sake, or your own?" Despite the overwhelming disparity in strength, DeWolf appeared intent on having a stare-down with her. "We have no quarrel with you, Miss Mutsu. I can't begin to imagine what you've been through, but further violence is not going to help you. Your sister has already realized, and we have offered her a home while she finds peace with herself. We're willing to offer you that, too. There's a better way." Then, in a move that probably surprised even Mutsu, he offered his hand out to her.
Whatever amusement she found in the captain, it quickly ran its course as she scowled and seized him by the collar. Again, I had to urge Akagi to stand down to avoid escalating things further. "Do you really think I have any interest in the word of an Azur Lane officer?" she growled, lifting DeWolf off his feet. "Now I suggest you bring her to me, or the whole base gets to hear you screaming for the sweet release of death."
"Okay, okay," DeWolf acquiesced. He was a brave man, but even he had to know his limits, especially since a calm, measured approach was not having the desired effect. He cautiously held up his phone, and tapped the screen a few times. "Just don't blame me if she's not keen on whatever it is you're planning."
The phone rang a couple of times before it was finally picked up. "Hello? James, is that you? We were beginning to worry." It was King George V on the speaker, which made sense since Choshu didn't have her own phone. "Is everything okay?"
"It's fine," DeWolf answered. He glanced at Mutsu for a moment, who silently mouthed something that looked like 'no tricks.' "Just needed some air, and talked things out with Nagato and Akagi."
"That's a relief. You three should come back soon, I've managed to convince Illustrious to apologize, too, albeit begrudgingly."
"In a minute. Could you do me a favour and send Choshu out? There's some things I need to discuss with her in private. I'm out on the beach to the west, just on the edge of sector twelve." He was, as I imagine Akagi and I were, silently praying that King George V didn't ask too many questions. Would she be able to sense the tension in the captain's voice, or would she follow through on her orders? A tense silence hung in the air for what felt like the longest ten seconds of our lives, and potentially the last for one of us.
Finally, though, an answer came. "Okay, she's on her way. Try not to take too long, sir, or all the food's going to get eaten. Do you want me to save you anything?"
"Some of your stuffed peppers if you don't mind. Now I have to go, so I'll talk to you soon." He hung up the phone, but none of us took our eyes off Mutsu until she finally relaxed her stance as well. "If you are working with the Sirens, Mutsu, you know I can't just let you leave. Now you can't keep us at gunpoint forever, unless you're planning on taking a hostage too. However, summoning your warship would make you easy to follow, and only a kansen in rigging would be able to accompany you as you are. I can only presume you have an ace up your sleeve in order to delay a pursuit."
"I can see why you're in command," she replied, sounding almost vaguely impressed by the captain's deductions. "I was going to use this later, but I suppose there's no harm in showing you now." She reached behind her and pulled an item from her rigging's storage: a wisdom cube. But it wasn't an ordinary cube, for instead of awe-inspiring shades of blue light, it was a darkened void, scintillating with malevolent energies like a thousand stars within her palm. "Stay calm, and I won't need to resort to this. I'm sure you know what this is, correct?"
It was a black wisdom cube: the same device that Akagi brought forth when she first initiated Project Orochi. We all knew what it meant; even when she didn't have her guns pointed at us, she had a fleet waiting in reserve if need be. One command and we would be up to our ears in Siren warships and aircrafts, and with a sizable portion of our fleet busy partying it up in the banquet hall, the damage a surprise attack could incur would be considerable.
So of course, Akagi decided that was the best time to poke the fox. "The power to make your dreams come true, if I'm not mistaken. A Siren's promise means little, though; it's the mark of a fool, nothing more."
"Akagi, I presume," Mutsu replied. Thankfully she wasn't easily insulted. "A touch hypocritical for you to be saying that, don't you think?"
"It's called learning from one's mistakes. If you weren't such a fool, you'd heed it yourself."
"It's only a mistake for those who lack the strength of will." If nothing else, at least Akagi's taunts took Mutsu's attention away from Captain DeWolf. "From the might of the empire's air divisions to a mewling lapdog for the Azur Lane. How pitiful…"
I silently prayed that Akagi wouldn't take such obvious bait. "How about you put away the bauble and we'll see whose will is stronger?"
"Maybe I will. I've always been meaning to kick some of you carriers down from your lofty pedestals." Mutsu took a few steps forward, bringing her naginata to the forefront.
"Confident words, but as I recall, Nagato and Kawakaze alone were enough to force you into retreat. How do you plan to take on the entire world when you couldn't even handle two kansens? I've seen the power of determination part the oceans; I doubt you could part a paper bag."
"Akagi, please…" I whispered in desperation. At least with them focused on one another, I could scurry over to the captain's side and act as some manner of shield for him. I may not have access to my rigging, but I was still more durable than the average human. "Sir, shouldn't you stop her?"
Despite the lingering threat of a kansen duel breaking out not six feet from him, DeWolf maintained a calm composure. "Akagi's not trying to goad her into a fight," he whispered back. "She's just testing her; trying to get under her skin to see what comes out."
What came out was a flash of anger. "Insolent vixen!" Mutsu snapped. She surged forward with her naginata raised high to deliver a killing blow.
"That's enough, Mutsu!"
It was Choshu, and her voice alone was enough to bring her sister to a sudden halt, her blade barely an inch away from Akagi's neck.
Akagi never even flinched. She just smiled back, as though that alone was victory.
"You would dare raise your weapon in anger against a fellow warrior of the Sakura Empire?" Choshu scorned as she marched over to her sister. "I thought I had taught you better than that."
Mutsu remained silent as the two sisters now stood before one another, reunited at long last. If it had been my Mutsu, there would have been laughing, squealing, vice-like hugs, and probably a few pinched cheeks involved, but these two instead continued to stare each other down like another fight was about to erupt. I began to wonder if people in their timeline ever bothered smiling.
"As I recall, you taught me to break the hulls of my enemies, not to break bread with them," Mutsu replied, coldly.
"These people are not our enemy," Choshu insisted. "They have welcomed me into their home, and have treated me with nothing but kindness and respect. That is something to be honoured, not scorned."
Unfortunately, it seemed even the words of an older sister were having little effect on Mutsu. "They are Azur Lane; they will always be our enemy," she said with a tightening frown. "In any world, there are only conquerors and the conquered. You taught us that much. Two tigers cannot share the same mountain!"
Choshu let out a quiet sigh. "And I was a fool to say so. A fool drunk on delusions of grandeur and glory." She reached out and cautiously took her sister's hand. "The more I fought, the more I wished to return to the peaceful days we had together. A hundred lifetimes will not be enough to atone for all of my failings. To you, and to all of our friends."
There was a brief flicker of when Mutsu's expression softened. She stepped closer and, with her free hand, patted her sister upon the head. "Oh, my dear, sweet, Nagato. I see the years have not been kind to you," she cooed gently. "I'm sorry I took so long to find you, but I'm here now, and we can make things right again."
That did not sound promising in the least, and judging by DeWolf's raised eyebrow, he had similar misgivings. Even Choshu, softened by the reunion, could not help but give a quizzical stare in response. "Make things right? How do you… that doesn't make sense, Mutsu," she replied. "I know the Sirens have some impressive abilities, but I do not think they can undo the past."
"No, but with the power they've given me, I've found a way to save what's been lost." Mutsu began to smile, hopeful but at the same time there was a measure of something sinister beneath it. The phrase 'too good to be true' rang to mind, and there was no way the Sirens would offer so much without there being a catch.
"You… you've found a way to save them?" Choshu asked, puzzled but growing ever more curious.
"Choshu, you know that's impossible," DeWolf tried to interject.
For his efforts, though, he immediately found himself staring at the business end of one of Mutsu's many gun barrels. "Be silent, human!" she snapped. "You sully her honour with that mockery of a name. I will not have your lies poison her mind any longer!"
"Mutsu, wait!" Choshu pulled away and quickly put herself between the captain and her sister, although I feared that, given the height difference, it was more a symbolic gesture than a practical one. "What do you mean by saving everyone? How can that be possible?"
"I'll tell you, but not here. Come with me, and I'll explain everything to you." Mutsu then offered out a hand to her as she stepped back towards the ocean. "We can make a home again, sister. We'll be together with everyone else. We can return the empire back to the way it was meant to be. We could even save Yaezakura–give her the life that you promised her."
It was just as Akagi said: everybody had their breaking point, where desperation and hope collided. The conflict was written all over Choshu's face, between fear of the unknown, the danger of the Sirens, and a hope against all hope that maybe, just maybe, dreams could come true. With wary steps, she moved towards the ocean and slowly reached out.
"Nagato, please," DeWolf risked speaking up again. "Think about what you're doing. You know the Sirens aren't to be trusted."
His words must have made an impact, as Choshu withdrew her hand. "H-he's right. Whatever they're promising, it can't be worth it." Her words were defiant, but there was still a quiver of uncertainty in her.
Choshu's doubt clearly upset her sister. Her gaze hardened like cemented steel as she levelled her cannons at the captain. "To think you would not trust the words of your own sister," she said in an ominous tone. "But I can fix this. I can make things right again. All I need to do is get rid of this interloper…"
Akagi and I both threw ourselves in front of DeWolf, but there was no way the two of us would've been able to stop an entire broadside of forty-one centimetre shells had Mutsu chosen to fire. I had no doubt that if Choshu hadn't also jumped into Mutsu's line of fire and literally threw herself atop of the kansen's guns, we would have been sifting pieces of the captain out of the sand.
"No, Mustu, don't!" Choshu pleaded, true desperation in her voice. "I'll go! I'll go with you. Just… just please don't hurt him." She hugged her sister's rigging tight, which if nothing else at least prevented its use. "If… if what you say is true, and we really can save everybody, then I should at least hear you out. I… I owe them all that much."
Mutsu lowered her weapons again. While the placation worked on the immediate threat, her frigid expression remained. "Nagato, my dear big sister," she cooed before drawing the kansen in for a gentle embrace. "Being around these foreigners has made you soft, but it's nothing we can't fix. Once you see what I have, you'll understand. You'll understand everything I've done…"
There was nothing we could do except watch as Choshu summoned her rigging and the two began to sail out into the ocean, hand in hand. She cast a single glance back to us, but said nothing before continuing on. Maybe I should have said good-bye, but a part of me was foolishly hoping that this would just be a brief parting. There was no way she could be swayed to ally with the Sirens, not after everything we had gone through together. As the two faded into the mist, we all at least breathed a small sigh of relief. We half-expected a Siren warship to drop into our lap, but it appeared that Mutsu was a woman of her word.
"Are you really okay letting them go like that?" King George V's voice arose to break the silence. We all turned to see the Royalist battleship stepping out from behind the concealment of the nearby fauna, her rigging already prepared for battle. "I could have stopped her."
"The choice was hard enough on her already," DeWolf replied, unsurprised by George's presence. His eyes were still fixed in the direction Choshu and Mutsu went. "A fight might have compelled her to pick sides, and I'm not sure where her loyalties would fall."
"How long were you listening in?" Akagi asked.
"I accompanied Choshu," she explained. "Captain DeWolf would never ask me to save my stuffed peppers. Something had to be amiss for him to say that." Joining us on the beach, she stood at the ready, an eagerness glistening in her eyes. "What are your orders, captain?"
Taking a moment for deep, calming breathing, he took one last look at the medal still in his hand and then fixed it back to his coat. "Akagi: I want to know where they are heading. Set sail and find them, but do not engage and avoid detection," he instructed. "George, assemble the senior kansens, and prep the fleets for departure. We're getting her back."