The Winds of Change

Fandom: Hawaii Five-O

Ship: McRoll

Characters: Steve McGarrett, Catherine Rollins

Chapter 3: ʻO ka mea hiki ke ho'ōla i nāʻeha a pau

(The one that can heal all wounds)

The man before her was a broken man. It was clear to her that losing Joe White was painful and heartbreaking. She had seen that look on him before, the vacant staring off into space and not really there with her before when she finally got time off to see him and be with him after Freddie Hart and his own father's deaths. In that moment, Catherine knew in her heart that she was still very much in love with the man in front of her. She would do anything to stop the hurt and to put the pieces of his shattered self back together again.

Hearing the words tumble from his lips, the shakiness of his voice as he spoke, it haunted her. She knew he felt guilty for his death, just as she too had felt guilt when Billy Harrington had been killed on only their second job together after he had hired her for his private security firm. "I am so sorry Steve", her own broken voice matched his own for she felt just as broken about losing Joe as he was. He was just as much family to her as he was to Steve, so it was heart breaking to know that he was gone and wouldn't be coming home anymore.

She let him hold her for as long as he needed to when she finally after what felt like hours when it would have been only minutes let her go somewhat reluctantly and looked around at the ranch, sighing softly at what she was looking at. It was in no way the same shape that she had last seen it in, and it was upsetting and at the same time disturbing to see the destruction and damage, knowing that Steve and Joe had to fight their way out of the home that Joe had created for himself.

Once she had surveyed the room, she looked once more at Steve, seeing the many cuts, abrasions and bruises on his face and arms, her hand resting on his cheek as she checked out the worst of them, a bigger cut on the right side of his forehead that had stopped bleeding for now, but she knew it was big enough that it would most likely require the use of stitches. As usual, she could sense he wanted to pull his face away from being examined this close, but she kept her hand on his cheek, gently moving his face in her direction so she could speak.

"We need to get these looked at and cleaned up properly Steve, and before you go ahead and tell me that you are fine, I am here to tell you to stop being so stubborn and let me fix these up". Her voice was filled only with love and concern and she knew him so well that she already had an answer to what she knew he would say in response to her wanting to help him. She heard him sigh softly the way he always did which was through his nose, which was so enduring to her and nod his head, "Okay Cat" she heard him say in a low voice, resigning the fact that she wouldn't take anything else for an answer.

If this was any other moment, she would have had him pressed against the wall, kissing him senseless hearing him call her that. Usually it was Catherine or Cath, but so many people called her either one, however in all of her life, it had been only Steve that ever called her Cat, the same way that she was the only one to use the nickname Sailor to him. It was their thing, instead of calling each other baby or honey or any of those other usual sweet nauseating nicknames people tended to call their other halves, this was just something that was their's.

However she was fully aware of the moment she was in and that thought was not appropriate she then found herself in full protective girlfriend mode instead even though technically she wasn't his girlfriend, she also had to remind herself that he had Lynn back on the island, not aware of the fact she had broken up with him and take care of him right now. It was clear to her that he had not slept in days, and maybe not even eaten much either, he certainly hadn't showered either, though not that changed anything.

Moving her hand from his cheek down his arm, tugging on his hand, she began to lead the way through the mess and debris to the bedroom that she and Steve always slept in whenever they stayed over at the ranch. It had an en-suite bathroom and from remembering the last time she stayed here which felt like eons ago, she knew that Joe was like a boy scout and was always prepared, keeping a first aid kit in all of the ranch's bathrooms. As they walked into the bedroom, she heard herself say"Sit", it came out a little more commanding then she had first anticipated at first but it did the trick, Steve sat down on the edge of the bed while she continued on to the bathroom to get the kit.

While in there, she took the time to take a moment for herself, the tears nearly welling up in her own eyes. She hadn't given herself time to mourn yet, as soon as Steve had said those words, she had pushed everything to the back of her mind to work on getting herself to Montana as soon as she could, It had been a full seventy two hours before she had been able to leave her current case with the CIA, there had to be briefings and handovers to the Agent who was taking over her case, then she had to go back to her hotel where she was staying in Washington to pack and book a flight which left a full twelve hours later.

It had seemed every five minutes on the flight from Washington, she was checking her watch, hoping there wasn't any further delays. It had been a very long hour and a half flight with some couple arguing in front of her and a little obnoxious kid behind her that kept kicking at her seat, and then another hour drive to the ranch so she hadn't had time to stop and let herself mourn the death of such a wonderful man, she had just been intent on getting to Steve and making sure that he was taken care of. That was her number one priority

Just as the tears were about to fall, she heard Steve's voice calling for her. Realizing she was taking too much time, she wiped away the tears quickly hoping that her eyes didn't betray her, took a deep breath in and out, pulled the first aid kit out and called back to him, "I'll be out in a second Steve". She needed a moment to collect herself and calm down. As much as she was hurting herself, and wanted to hide away from the world too, she needed to be strong for Steve. Though they both had known Billy and Catherine knew that he had been close to him, Steve had been the strong one when Billy died, had been there for Cath and now she wanted to be strong for him in his time of need.

Taking another breath in, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and steeling herself to put her own emotions to the side for now and look after her Sailor, She could do this. Out of everyone else he could have called, he called her, and that alone gave her the courage she needed. She knew that no matter what was going to happen next, she would ride this out with him and let him lead. Anywhere he led, she would follow. She would follow that man anywhere and everywhere. Putting on a brave face, she picked up the first aid kit and walked into the bedroom, smiling softly when she saw he had moved to a more comfortable position, sitting up against the head rest, his eyes closed and for a moment she was hesitant to arouse him from his slumber if he indeed was asleep.

Instead of rousing him, she just moved onto the vacant side of the bed and sat next to him, the first aid kit laying on the bed, hearing the soft change in breathing pattern that told her he was indeed asleep. She couldn't wake him up, he needed his sleep so she just changed position to lay beside him and before she knew it, her own eyes were fluttering to a close , the stress and tension of the last three days taking a toll on her own body and she fell asleep beside him, her head falling onto his chest, his soft breathing and movement of his chest lulling her to sleep.

Author's Notes:

Let me just start by saying you are all amazing. I appreciate you all so much and am so happy to hear that you are all excited with this story. I really love that there are so many McRoll shippers out there that want to see this story play out. The next few chapters I think will be Catherine checking Steve's injuries out and making sure he is okay physically and then organizing a full Navy funeral service for both Joe and his other Navy SEAL buddy. I need to go back and watch that episode again to get the name of that SEAL that was at the ranch with them as I have forgotten or if one of you remember it, you can always remind me as well. I hope you really enjoy this chapter just as much.

Shoutouts:

simbagirl:

Thank you, I am glad you liked the chapter and that you feel it isn't too much out of character for Steve. I think we have seen him in cop mode for too long now that we forget he was a Navy SEAL and was taught by the Navy to torture and interrogate terrorists in that manner. I agree, they do deserve a proper funeral. I was thinking that perhaps along the way Steve and Catherine find that as Joe didn't have any children, he left his entire estate to Steve, Mary and Joan McGarrett. I know he didn't have as much to do with Mary and Joan but I can imagine Joe woukd have promised John he would still watch out for her even if she didn't realize it.

St:

You are welcome, and thank you. I agree, the show rarely touches on Steve's emotional, vulnerable side and I like to think only Catherine and Danny are allowed to see that side of him. It is nice to be able to see a version of how events you don't see on screen being played out in fan fictions and that is what drew me to write this, because I wanted to see it as well.

Isabellaelisa:

Thank you, and I adore your suggestion. I have done it in other fictions I have written so it is something I love doing. I am sure there will be a perfect time for it to be added, if you have any more ideas at all, I am happy to hear them.

Guest:

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I am really glad you are enjoying this story.