The First Aftermath
Chapter 8 - Year 1998 - 1st Seventh of May
Morning After
Breathlessly called her name and it was more than enough for her body to follow the woman into rapture…
And uttered back Minerva's name…
Darling,
I loathe leaving your warmth, and it was truly difficult for me to get up from our bed this morning, but there are these blasted meetings I have to attend.
Do explore the Manor however you desire. The first room at the second floor west wing will surely entice you, but please do not forsake mealtimes! You will need the energy tonight as I have every intention to ravish you...
I do hope no imbecile would prolong the meeting and delay my coming home to you, or else I'd have to hex the poor soul.
I already miss you…
Hermione re-read the short letter for the seventh— maybe eight or tenth time today. She could not help but re-scanned her eyes across words written by Minerva for her, nor the Cheshire grin that would adorn her face after she read them.
When she woke up that morning, memories of how she spent the latter of last night plus the lingering scent of Minerva's and hers and theirs combined, immediately put a huge smile on her face.
When she stretched and turned on one side, she was greeted by a beautiful rose propped on the bedside table with the aforementioned letter, and a notably vine dragon heartstring— her wand. She knew she left her wand at the other room and she chucked at Minerva's natural conscientiousness.
She reached for the rose first and ascertained right away how Minerva had placed a charm on it. The petals seemed to be breathing and the stem with few leaves and thorns were actually exquisite metal and stones. It also smells so fresh and Hermione had never seen a rose as beautiful, but considering the giver, one should not be so surprised at its extraordinaire.
About Hermione, of all the many clichés in life that people fall into, she actually fell into just one— the one where her most favorite flower is rose. When she was a kid, she planted one at their backyard and her mom often told her the story of how she cried when the flower-plant bloomed its first flower, and how she also cried when the entire thing died... And how they were so surprised on how it was revived just the following morning. It was one of those things that had been explained when she found out that she is a witch...
She wondered if its just coincidence that Minerva had chosen rose to give her from of all the flowers in the world.
After smelling again the flower like an in love person that she is, she reached for the note and read it for the first time while still in bed, and still very naked.
Just by how the letter was addressed with the endearment 'Darling', Hermione's mind easily paraded moments of when Minerva called her as such and how the word would roll off Minerva's tongue and gave her heart a jolt.
At Minerva's line of 'I have every intention to ravish you...' she brushed profusely. Then laughed aloud at the next words, as they seemed to be so Minerva with that exasperated reference to 'imbecile' and 'hexing of poor soul'. The witch's wicked sense of humour is one of the things she had long discovered and loved about Minerva.
"I also miss you already…" Hermione said to no one in the bedroom, in response to Minerva's parting line in the letter.
She quickly re-read the entire note for the second time before she got up and headed to the bathroom with a plan to exactly follow Minerva's recommendation to explore the manor, and follow the instruction not to skip meals.
After taking a bath, she was so touched that Dolly seemed to have guessed her need of clothes when she found one of Minerva's simple linen pants and blouse laid out on bed. After simple magic adjustment on the pants' length and her hair's ribbon lengthened and tied around her waist, she headed out of the room to hunt for breakfast.
Actually she realized that she was a bit starving because when she woke up, it was almost mid-morning and it was the streaming sun that roused her. She was surprised at how long she had slept and how uninterrupted it was. It had been about two years, or even more than that that she had unruffled sleep. Immediately her mouth curved into another smile at the recollection of how she spent the latter part of last night— making love— with Minerva. And how obviously it was the reason for her peaceful slumber.
Last night, when their heavy breathing from the culmination finally eased into a manageable level, Minerva shifted their position and slid back on her side and once again snuggled under Hermione's chin, then procured sheets over them with a wave of her hand.
Hermione could not believe how much Minerva likes to cuddle. The woman pressed their body close and intertwined their legs the entire time. She also felt thin lips brushed her clavicles from time to time, and fingered her spine quite randomly. The tenderness was too exquisite, and despite wanting to commit each moment, each stroke to memory, Hermione succumbed to a long overdue contented sleep.
When she stepped out of the room, as she was deciding which way to go, Dolly appeared before her and greeted her a good morning. Then the elf asked what would she like for breakfast as they walked towards a grand staircase that took her breath away.
When Dolly repeated her question, and drew her attention back, Hermione instead asked if she could go with Dolly to the kitchen and make her own waffles and eggs. After Dolly confirmed two more times that that's what she wanted to do, Dolly smiled brightly at her before directed their steps towards the kitchen.
In there, Hermione met two other elves residing at the manor who were already getting out the ingredients and another young elf carrying oranges to be made for her drink. After introductions were made and expressed how Hermione wanted to make her own breakfast, they compromised into doing the tasks altogether, thus complicating the should have been simple waffles and eggs with as many hands digging into making them. But no one minded.
Hermione also wanted to eat with them but discovered that everyone had breakfast hours ago and so she settled into eating at the kitchen table while Dolly narrated few stories about the elves at the manor.
Afterwards, Dolly toured her at the manor's first floor and she was flabbergasted at the ballroom's grandeur. It almost covered the entire east wing of that floor, a bit short of half of Hogwarts' great hall, but still very large in size. However, it was not lost on Hermione on how sad it made Dolly when the elf said that the last time it was lit with a joyful affair was even before Minerva was born, when Dolly herself was a very young elf.
When they reached the den, Dolly's sadness was once again evident when she mentioned that it must have been a couple of decades when the charming room echoed with laughter from guests and friends of Minerva.
Hermione remembered that she did not even know of McGonagall Manor, that there is even a misleading reference to Hogwarts as Minerva's place of residence. But now knowing several details about Minerva, Hermione astutely comprehended how these things affected the manor's activities, which affected the other residents of the place.
Hermione could not say anything but reached out to Dolly's shoulder and to her surprise; the elderly elf's somber face was replaced with something akin to hopeful one. Hermione could not help herself but returned the smile.
Before they proceed to the second floor, they opted to have lunch, even though she just had waffles and eggs, Hermione curiously found herself already hungry. This time, the elves dined with her, or rather she dined with them.
She actually ate heartily; surely following Minerva's instruction from the note. The note which she re-read few more times like a witless person when Dolly temporarily left her earlier to check on others about their lunch arrangement.
When they went back to the second floor after an enjoyable lunch, she discovered that the rooms she slept in are located at the east wing far most area. Dolly also showed her several notable guest quarters. Then they ventured to the west wing. Hermione's delight could not be contained upon entering that first room, the one Minerva mentioned in the note. And anyone who knows Hermione can easily guess that the room she just discovered is none other than the library— the McGonagall's private library!
There, as anticipated by Minerva, Hermione was utterly enticed. She spent the entire afternoon browsing the titles of the leather bound books, quite undecided which ones to take out first. After she had scanned the shelves twice, she finally decided to pull about half a dozen books that she'll delve into. Already halfway into the first one, Dolly fetched her for dinner.
Regret that she had to momentarily leave the room; she was consoled that Minerva would be home soon. 'Every intention to ravish you' floated in her mind and Dolly had to ask if she needed an outer jacket because apparently she shuddered. She shook her head ardently, averted her eyes from yellow ones, afraid that Dolly would read the thought she tried to dispel in her mind— the thought of Minerva ravishing her.
After dinner, she went back to the library and settled into a corner nook. Not long, she was lost in her reading and when she lifted her head from the book as she finished it, she found out that about two hours had gone. And while she truly enjoyed the rare copy of Ancient Transfiguration, she wondered about Minerva.
She called Dolly and asked if Minerva had arrived, and was answered negatively. She thanked the elf and apologized for the disturbance, which the elf dismissed and assured her that she can always call her for anything.
With Minerva still out, she went to start a second book. But while reading it, she paused two times within an hour, and had asked Dolly about Minerva. Unfortunately she received the same negative answer.
She tried to be logical and pulled her brain instead of her eager heart to make of Minerva's delayed return and decided to chalk it at some imbecile's doing. Or she considered that she is being unreasonable and impatient as Minerva of course has lot of important matters to attend.
With the second book on hand, she transferred to Minerva's bedroom, which for a fleeting moment hesitated if she should go to the other room. But the doubt instantly vanished at one glance at the Rose still propped at the bedside table. She then fingered the note from her pocket, and read them. Again. Even though the words were already burnt in her brain that first time she had read it.
Sometime later, when her hand brushed against the note that she unconsciously placed on the bed beside her knee, she dragged her eyes from the book and checked the time.
When she realized that it would be midnight in about twenty minutes, she debated whether to disturb Dolly at such hour to ask about Minerva. But her wanting to know won and called Dolly.
Unlike the previous times, Dolly would appear at her first call. Now on her third utter of Dolly's name, she decided to leave the bedroom and maybe wait for Minerva at the den. After all, she is far from being sleepy and there is no way she would go to bed without Minerva.
She was about to swing her legs from the bed when the door opened and came in Minerva.
"Hi." Hermione joyous greeting sounded too loud even to herself but she didn't care; she was too delighted to see the witch. "Did you just get home? Were you able to get dinner? Did you hex some poor souls?" She realized she just rambled several sentences without pausing to let Minerva answer. Hermione chuckled at her silliness.
She stood from the bed and with barely two steps, she took notice that Minerva had not moved from the door upon entering. And that the woman is wearing a blanketed expression... It instantly worried Hermione, "What's wrong Minerva?" she asked as she strode towards the woman but before she could reach her, Minerva finally moved...
And away from her…
Hermione stopped dread and seemed fastened on her spot, as only her eyes were able to follow Minerva, who moved towards one of the room's windows.
Still Minerva did not speak and with her back on her, Hermione could not see emerald eyes to gauge the woman. But with the woman's ramrod stance, it launched a wrenching fear at the pit of her stomach. "What happened Minerva?"
For a time, Minerva still did not answer her. And Hermione was torn between wanting to go near her, or respecting the obvious space that the woman had created…
"I made a mistake."
The tone had Hermione's guts twisted further. But she braved it and asked, "What do you mean?"
Finally the woman turned and faced her but did not really look at her when she spoke, "Last night, it was a mistake."
There.
The voice is almost inaudible but Hermione heard it clearly. She also heard how it sounded absolutely devoid of any emotion with the matched blanket face of Minerva… The beautiful face of the woman she loves… whom she made love to last night… who made love to her last night… who just said how it was a mistake…
"Last night was not a mistake." Hermione's soft voice floated, in contrast to her heart's violent refusal of Minerva's six-word sentence."
"It was. I should not have—" Despite the emotionless voice, one arm impatiently waved in the general direction of the bed.
Hermione's eyes followed the arm, and when it dropped, she stared at Minerva's clenched hand on her side. She remembered how it clenched the bedsheets when she was tasting and touching Minerva last night…
"Why?" Hermione questioned with obvious confusion of why Minerva had said things and continued to say things that she knew in her heart that are untrue.
"Because it was a mistake." Minerva answered her in that damn emotionless tone.
Hermione stared at the presently hardened jaw and stiff neck, and her mind pushed memories of when she trailed them with her tongue last night, and elicited an aroused groan from Minerva.
"Why?" Hermione's question now laced with desperation.
"You're the heralded Brain of the heralded Golden Trio, a bloody short sentence should not be too difficult for you to comprehend." The low and still emotionless tone did not make it less cruel. Hermione flinched… And so did Minerva…
Hermione stared at the thin lips that spat such ugly hurtful words… lips that kissed her deeply last night. Tongue that played with hers… Teeth that nipped her skin…
"Do you hate what happened…?" Hermione whispered as emotions poured into her shaking voice. She had become powerless at the vulnerability invoked inside her, swallowing her pride completely. "Are you disgusted?"
Minerva did not answer but an abhorrent countenance passed through her face… It made Hermione avert her eyes… And they landed on the note that must have fallen on the floor when she stood up.
Like an idiot, she 'acciod' the note from the floor wandlessly. As if in a trance, she held and stared at the words that made her heart swell with love the moment she read them… But now… Its writer had principally renounced them…
"Put that away." Minerva's tone had turned clipped and harsh.
"Why?" Hermione cried.
"It's another mistake."
"You wrote it for me."
"Another mistake I should not have committed."
"No! You never say, do, or write things that you don't mean."
"Now, I have."
The letter floated away from her hand and in two seconds vanished into the air.
"Why are you doing this?" Hermione asked in tormented whisper as the gathered tears in her brown eyes finally fell. She also let her head fall as tears now came in earnest. The stabbing pain she felt at that start of this nightmare is quickly escalating to ranges she does not know if she could survive.
She raised back her eyes to the woman to beg for hope… or at least for mercy… mercy not to finish her heart…
And through the cascading tears, she caught how Minerva averted her eyes when they met unexpectedly…
Emerald ones that turned into glassy ones when they made love…
"Look into my eyes this time and tell me that it was a mistake..."
Hermione held her breath as she waited for the woman to answer her challenge. When Minerva failed to respond right away, an infinitesimal fire of hope started in her heart that everything would be retracted. The fire grew significantly when Minerva's emerald eyes finally met her tearful brown ones, wherein she saw no hate and even a silver of affection.
But emerald eyes drew up all its bloody walls, and then Hermione heard the finality in a quiet and deep Scottish brogue, "It was a mistake Ms. Granger."
Hermione's world stopped… And she felt the crumbling began.
"We made love and it was not a mistake." Hermione screamed… in sorrow, in denial, and in vulnerability.
"I fucked you and it was a mistake." Minerva roared back… in regret, in fear, and in anger.
Hermione stared at the lips that met hers in passion last night. Lips that tenderly whispered 'darling' to her, and passionately moaned her name when they were making love…
Now they battled with ugly words the woman pronounced tonight…
Mistake… I should not have… Because it was a mistake… Put that away… Another mistake... I fucked you and it was a mistake…
They all came down on Hermione— and she lost the fight.
Hermione took one last hoarding gaze at Minerva. Then she turned towards the bedroom door and powered herself to not look back, to not stop, and to not beg the woman to love her…
She wiped her face with both hands to clear tears she wanted no one to see as she made her way. She let her feet bring her to the main Manor's entry and purposely exited to depart from the enveloping pain…
After the Manor's main door closed behind her, she concentrated on putting one foot over the other as she headed towards the somewhat illuminated main gates of the McGonagall's Manor. She fixed her sight straight and made her gait as firm and as quick as she could without stumbling. And she tried to ignore the outside cold, and ignored the long, wide and attractive Manor ground that her eyes had swept upon stepping out.
A soft flop almost made her jumped but she kept her stride as she realized that Dolly appeared beside her. She did not stop and it effectively made her pass the elderly elf. She wanted to ignore Dolly and not say anything, but then a revolting thought occurred to her.
Is the woman making sure that she will leave? She wanted to be angry… but the overbearing sadness encompassed her being… leaving no room but grief.
Hermione slowed down but continued towards the gate as she quietly said for the elderly elf to hear. "Dolly, no need to escort, I am really leaving."
"Hermione, no. I do not want you to leave."
Hermione ignored Dolly even though she knew that the elf is simply reaching to her.
"Minerva does not want you to leave either."
Hermione flinched but pushed herself to take another step, and another step…
"You must not leave… You are too upset… You will injure yourself if you apparate."
"It's irrelevant when your heart already disintegrated into thousand pieces." She mumbled but continued working towards the gates.
"Hermione...?"
She took another step. And another. And another. Trying to stop the fresh tears forming in her eyes… And concentrated harder as the gates are now within her reach.
"Please Hermione, stop. If you don't care about hurting yourself, then hear that I do…"
Hermione finally halted her steps. She could not dismiss Dolly's genuine concern.
"And whether you accept it or not, Minerva cares too."
Hermione closed her eyes to control the swirling emotions threatening to break the last of her hold. She understood why Dolly would say such but she cannot deal with the allusions.
"Dolly… Thank you for your concern. Thank...thank her for the concern." She blew air over her face and resolved to get away soon. "I'll be okay. I have apparrated in unpleasant and… heart aching condition… I… I will be okay…"
In about a thousand years… or never….
Hermione withheld saying that last part. But what she added was, "Thank you for tending to me during my stay. I am glad to have met you."
Hermione turned and reached for the gates to open them but she stopped once again at Dolly's next words.
"She does not mean whatever she said to you."
Hermione took a deep breath, turned and sadly responded, "When did Minerva McGonagall say things she never truly meant?"
With that, she pushed open the gates and stepped out. But turned towards Dolly once more. And crouched low in order to level her eyes with the elf.
"Dolly… she has a castle to re-build and a war-torn society to mend. Will you make sure she doesn't kill herself doing so? Force her to eat and rest somehow. I… I…"
She wanted to say that she would dedicate her life taking care of Minerva but the damn woman simply pushed her away… And of course, Minerva McGonagall needs no one…
"Dolly, just drag her away from work… Bring her here for a respite or something… And please— please don't tell her about this…"
Luminescent yellow wise eyes stared at her for few seconds, then nodded quite solemnly. "Thank you for caring about Minerva. I know she—
Hermione held up one hand, unwilling to hear words that would only slice her heart further. "Please Dolly, don't."
Dolly nodded, "If there is anything I can do for you, please call to me. I mean it Hermione."
"Just… what I had asked… Please take care of... of her... for me..."
Hermione stood up and shifted to resume with her departure when soft wobbly fingers touched her elbow, and with a snap, she saw the handed rose... The one that Minerva gave to her...
"This is already yours Hermione."
Hermione swallowed the ball stuck in her throat before she said in a whisper, "Thank you."
She could not take one second more, and stepped away from the elderly elf. She hastily took the necessary distance from the iron gates.
She forced herself not to look back at the Manor but failed, and her eyes caught a flash of magic from the far side of the east wing just half a second before she disapparated.
And then Hermione splinched herself…
End of Chapter 8 Year 1998
Aftermath of First One
Arghhh... Did you not want to smack Minerva's beautiful face?
A/N:
- I hope you like the love story so far…
- Okay, once again HP is not mine, and just borrowed from JK.