Hope in Hermione's soul lighted as Minerva's one wall fell… then another… then another…
Then suddenly, to Hermione's utmost horror, every withdrawn bloody wall went back up…
And the bloody public persona of The Headmistress Minerva McGonagall re-surfaced with clarity…
Year 2000 | 3rd Seventh of May
Chapter 3
Still at the Luncheon | Quidditch Player
'NO… NO… NO!'
Mentally, Hermione started to scream at the full arrival of Minerva's complete bloody walls! She could hear the thundering sound of her pulse at the misstep she just made… for letting out her unguarded, unadulterated, and deepest aspiration…
I just want to afford more…
I need to afford more…
Her mind replayed the second ago voiced mad longing of her heart... Followed by a heavy denunciation on how utterly imbecilic to have done so…
Sometimes, when she's with Minerva, she can't stop herself saying moronic words and making moronic actions. And as always, she would become powerless at the mere thought of Minerva alienating her that she would be willing to do anything to tie herself to the woman somehow, anyhow. Like right now.
Hermione was about to take the risk and beg Minerva to come back in front of her… She was about to beg pardon for her honesty when Minerva's eyes shot her a millisecond meaningful look and it darted beyond her left shoulder.
It took a second for Hermione to work out in her head that someone joined her and Minerva… and that someone had greeted The Headmistress.
The Headmistress.
The phrase repeated inside Hermione's head and her mind leapt as to why the woman raised back all her bloody walls…
While the woman had inadvertently permitted herself to bring down her walls, the woman was swiftly alerted of the fact that they are in a bloody Ministry luncheon… that they are not free to be 'the Minerva' and 'the Hermione' that they both set free when they are exclusively together… not right now.
The understanding brought Hermione tremendous relief that her honest blunder did not really drive Minerva away. However, a throbbing in her heart for their bloody circumstances followed it. She is beginning to believe that their ostentation and general public roles will bloody kill her!
Then a touch on her shoulder distracted her from her current rumination. Somehow, it registered in her brain that that someone who had joined them just greeted her as well.
With much reluctance, Hermione's brown eyes left Minerva's face and turned her head towards the 'intruder'. She found a smiling blonde young woman… the one who had touched her shoulder in greeting, whose touch in Hermione's opinion— had lingered longer than necessary… Hermione thought of hexing the blonde woman…
This is the culprit who had disturbed her precious moment with Minerva… the imbecile who made Minerva bring forth her full Minerva McGonagall public persona— 'the Headmistress'… Not to mention 'the Hermione Granger' she has started to put on for the public, as she becomes more and more embedded as a well-known Ministry Officer.
"I heard my favorite team is on a winning steak these days because of you."
Hermione heard Minerva praised the person beside her. The woman must be a quidditch player who plays at Montrose Magpies— Minerva's favorite professional quidditch team.
"They are Headmistress. But it's not just because of me. I am just happy to be fielded and help the team. And I am happy that it's the quidditch team you favor Ma'am."
"The Lanchashire team management must now be flooded with compunctions for not fielding you back then, more so when they traded you. It was foolish of them to mislay a talented player such as you Ms. Bell."
"Thank you Professor—Ma'am—Headmistress…"
Hermione heard Katie Bell stumbled at the Headmistress' praise… Wait… What…? Who…? Hermione backtrack her thought— Katie Bell?
She does sound like Katie. But Katie has brown long hair. This woman has blonde creased pixie hairdo. And Hermione just saw Katie the day before yesterday.
Hermione had asked Ron and Harry to have dinner last Friday, sort of a celebration for her Second level Charms Mastery completion. But then the three of them ended having a joint dinner with George, Angelina, Jordan, Neville and Katie. The group dinner date was resulted by a not so serious ramble in details and certain kind of friendly pressure to just go altogether.
But Katie that time did not look the way she does right now. But yes, truly it is Katie Bell who joined her and Minerva. Hermione realized that she has yet to respond to Katie's earlier greeting.
"Katie! Hello…" Her delayed reaction is apparent, including her surprise at Katie's blonde and very short hairstyle. "Wow, the new look is amazing on you!"
"Hello again Hermione." Katie glowingly responded, "For a second there, I thought you're actually ignoring me. I thought it was because—"
"I apologize for not immediately acknowledging you. I was miles away pondering about what the Headmistress was just— discussing with me."
Hermione knew that Katie was referring to that dinner she was thinking just a second ago. For some reason, she didn't want Minerva to know that she had dinner with Katie, never mind that it was not planned and it was a group dinner. And she was also too aware of the obfuscation she just made about her halted discussion with Minerva. She knew she made it sound something official, and Katie's response confirmed that it was how it came out.
"Oh no, I interrupted your meeting. I am sorry. Please excuse me. I just want—"
"It's alright Ms. Bell... Ms. Granger and I ought to have 'such discussion' some other time…" Minerva interjected Katie and her response's double meaning did not escape Hermione. "And Ms. Granger is correct, your different look suit you very finely."
Hermione watched Katie blushed at Minerva's comment after an aloof look shot at her direction. Involuntarily, Hermione's brows knitted at Katie's reaction, and then a second later, she felt something akin to jealousy. Jealous that Minerva would find someone physically fine.
"Thank— thank you Headmistress." Katie again stuttered but eventually smiled brightly with another shy look at Hermione. And Hermione's jealousy settled firmly in her guts.
"This is a result of George's product invention. He was testing a new candy that would change your hair color for mere 3 and 1/2 seconds. He, with Ron and Angie persuaded me to take trial candies and then later on convinced me to actually go for a new hair style after the fourth candy I ate had me looking— well, looking like this."
"So I have to warn Hogwarts Professors of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes' latest mischief product?" Minerva wryly replied.
Katie unsurely explained, "George said— he said that the candy would not be out until Hollow's eve. And they are calling them, 'Be Tonks'. I think it is meant to pay homage to Mrs. Lupin."
Clearly, Katie did not catch the fact that Minerva was just exercising her wicked humor with her sardonic response. But she knew Minerva already knew about the 'Be Tonks' candies. She wanted to bridge Katie's short understanding but after she looked at Minerva and detected her disguised amusement, her jealousy just got more pronounced. She let Katie endure in twist on how to get out of such topic.
About three months ago, Hermione knew that Ron and George just finished the formula for their latest candy that would make the eater's hair turned into something else just for few seconds. The candy would have ugly side effects if they push for longer that 5 seconds, so they recomputed their formula and decided to settle for 3 and 1/2 seconds. Plus, the revised restricted formula/recipe of the candy would help them not violate some Ministry laws on consumption goods that are related to changing of physical appearance, which Hermione had advised Ron and George about.
Harry said that Minerva chuckled after telling her that Ron actually got the idea from her. From that one time he saw Minerva in muggle clothes when she joined them to go to a muggle diner… of how Ron was so shock on how Minerva seemed like a different person just with different clothes and with a less severe hair-bun… Minerva even laughingly responded that perhaps she should send a bill to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes for product conceptualization fee.
Furthermore, Minerva was the one who brought the idea to Harry if Ron and George would consider having the product be named in relation to Metamorphmagus, particularly to Nymphadora Lupin, as it does adjunct its uniqueness. But of course it was mere suggestion and really up to them, and upon approval from Andromeda. It turned out that George really loved the idea, and Andromeda actually got teary eyed at the tribute. Hence, 'Be Tonks Candies' will be out sometime this year at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.
Hermione could still hear Katie trying to ease her gaffe that she was convinced she had made when she told them on how her new look came about. She felt bad and thought about saving the quidditch player by telling her of how Ron and George made Harry take one candy that had her olive-eyed best friend completely bald for 3 and 1/2 seconds. She knew the funny account would end Katie's current mortification.
"So Montrose's chance this year to win the cup is better? Is Mr. Campbell still hands on with the team?"
Minerva was the one who made to save the quidditch player in her discomfort by steering into another topic… one about Katie… about her quidditch team… about Minerva's favorite team. Hermione suddenly felt a certain displacement, and it amplified the jealousy inside her.
"We can only hope so Ma'am." Katie relieved countenance is apparent as she hurriedly got hold of the escape topic…
"And yes, Mr. Campbell is much hands-on. Like earlier, he attended the team's practice. I didn't think I could catch today's luncheon since Coach was not too keen that I cut practice short. But Mr. Campbell approved that I could skip the rest of the afternoon's practice when I told him that the reason is my wanting to go to today's commemoration. Then he asked that I give his regards to you Ma'am."
"Convey my regards back Ms. Bell."
"Will do Ma'am."
"Angus Campbell is the most quidditch embedded person I have ever met."
"Yes, yes." Said Katie as she nodded her head several times. "The first time I met him, he told me he's married to several people, mostly at the same time, and I am marrying him too. I was shocked until he laughed at my face that he meant the Montrose Magpies team members."
"The very same thing I heard from him 50 years ago..." responded Minerva with slight tone of reminiscence.
Hermione realized that she must be mental— for feeling a very wide array of emotions, and all at the same time... She is jealous to hear something that Minerva had experience that Katie also experienced. She is hopeful at the thought of marrying Minerva one day. She is envious to not have seen Minerva play quidditch. And she is beginning to really hate Katie for merely having this conversation with Minerva…
"Ma'am, he told me that he recruited you. But that—"
Katie paused and despite the jealousy and another bunch of emotions that are incarcerating Hermione, she could read Katie's internal debate on how to proceed with something that is obviously about Minerva McGonagall outside of her being 'The Headmistress'. And Hermione is inherently curious, ESPECIALLY about Minerva. For a moment, she shuffled her jealousy and its companions behind, and let curiosity overtake them.
"—Mr. Campbell said that he wanted you with Montrose the moment he saw you in a game in your fifth year… But Sir Dumbledore didn't allow you to play in the professional league because you just turned 16, plus he insisted that you finish Hogwarts first…"
"Angus Campbell told you that?" Asked Minerva with mild surprise.
"Just this morning after he told me to say hello to you from him… So wow, you were really just in your fifth year and they already wanted you to play with them! You could have been the youngest professional player, because up to now the youngest that made pro are couple of 17 year olds. You must be a superb quidditch player Headmistress!"
Predictably, Minerva responded with a dismissal of the acclaim given to her. "It was really untested against professionals. And you do know Ms. Bell that a player could be an early bloomer who would tap out once playing professionally. Or like yourself, advancing and maturing your playing skills as you play more."
"Mr. Campbell said that Sir Dumbledore's refusal and your nasty fall playing against Slytherin in your seventh year where you busted your ribs and had your head in concussion effectively stole Montrose's decades of winning streak."
"Angus Campbell had been saying that for over five decades just to stir intrigue of 'what could have been'. But really, that was just that, an overly presumption, and unmerited one if I may say."
"He said he saw you free drive in one of your match at Hogwarts and until now he has not seen anyone else does it like you did. Sure, couple of players learned how to do the maneuver, but his words were, 'none like McGonagall's grace and technique'. He said he was surprised when you registered your animagus form and it was not of a flying kind as he was sure you can already fly."
"He's a wonderful man but always been an exaggerated one. It comes with his territory to promote hype for his team. But really Ms. Bell, that was too inaccurate. What is accurate is how you are now winning games for them."
Hermione watched Katie beamed and she was shocked at how she wanted to slap the smile out of this quidditch player. And almost did so when Katie rolled out her invitation to Minerva.
"I know the Headmistress is absolutely loaded with duties, but Ma'am if you ever find yourself free or just wanting to have fun, please do know that we would love to have you at the games! Please, please just owl anytime and we will get you the best seats!"
"I appreciate the invitation Ms. Bell."
Hermione heard Minerva's response and she focused her gaze at Katie, and refused to look at emeralds that she felt directed on her. She really does not want to make another foolish emotional declaration.
"And If I am not mistaken, your next game is actually against your old team. Good luck and have fun wiping their idiotic gender bias proclivity."
Hermione watched Katie beamed further. She found herself pocketing her hands into her robes to prevent herself from actually committing a senseless act— like slapping Katie.
Hermione heard Katie confirmed that they are playing next Saturday against Lanchashire. She also heard her say that she invited Ron and Harry, and that even Ginny is game-on as her best friend's wife is still on leave from the Harpies. She also heard about George, Angie, Jordan and Neville coming to watch as well.
Hermione could not believe the strange emotions brewing inside her. She tried to identify them once again and she located an added mixture of aghast, anger, annoyance, and a great deal of antagonism.
Then she felt a touch on her shoulder; Katie's one hand is on her again. Vaguely she realized that Katie just invited her to watch the game. And that she has not given a response; she has not even given an acknowledgement. And that is probably why Katie had touched her to get her attention. So Hermione dragged herself to the here and now and completely tune back in to what Katie is saying to her.
"I… I know you don't like quidditch much but I thought maybe you would like to watch the game with our friends. And then after, maybe I could treat you guys to dinner."
"Why?" Hermione asked bluntly. And immediately she was half guilty at the harshness of her question to Katie's offer. Then somehow her guilt turned to the hilt when Katie withdrew her hand and clasped and unclasped with its partner. And suddenly Katie sported a very shy expression.
"Uhmn, I know we sort of crash your dinner celebration on your charms mastery last Friday and… and—"
Remembering her manners, and on how to use her brain, Hermione interrupted Katie's obvious self-reproach. "No Katie, it was okay—"
"Harry said that you were fine with it when you found out that Ron extended his invite to George who extended it to Angie who extended it to me. On how Neville and Jordan got there, I actually don't know. I know you said it wasn't really a big deal. And you made us feel that it wasn't so. It's just that afterwards when I thought about it, I had a super delayed realization that we intruded your dinner with your best friends. So please, let me make up for it."
Katie rambled and Hermione felt bad about it. And then her brain reminded her furthermore of her public persona. That she is now a Ministry Department Head and there are certain courteous expectations that come with such. But above all, she cannot dismiss Katie's gallantry. After all, the witch is considering her as a 'friend'…
Hermione inwardly sighed and decided to adopt appeasement, "Katie, there's no need." She even picked an honest amicable remark, "That dinner was great, George was hilarious. We all had a brilliant time."
"Okay… Then lets have another one and let me treat you guys this time."
Hermione inwardly curse. She's exerting effort to shove away her antagonistic feeling but Katie is really doing everything to direct it to herself… making Hermione hate her…
'Why is she insisting? Watch her games? Have Dinner? Implying they are close friends?'
And then it hit Hermione, and a massive cold sensation attacked her…
'Katie is using her, using Harry, using them to get to Minerva? To get Minerva to watch a game—Katie's game? And also to get Minerva to a dinner— Katie's dinner treat? FUCKING Quidditch player! Katie wants Minerva? Katie WANTS Minerva!'
"I was told this morning that Montrose is drawing my playing contracts for three seasons instead of just riding to expire my Lanchashire's contract." Turning to Minerva, Katie added, Mr. Campbell even said that he is inclined to make it to 5 seasons."
"Congratulations Ms. Bell! I heard Montrose is very generous to its players."
Minerva's another commendation to Katie turned the jealousy inside Hermione into full-blown warfare alongside insecurity, resentment, and wretchedness.
Hermione's impeccable memory is sometimes a curse as without warning, it prompted clear unwanted memories… One when Minerva called out Angelina one quidditch practice and later Harry told them that the woman was actually concerned with Katie's shoulder… Then the times that Katie 'celebrated' her good work in her Transfiguration classes and Katie's friends teased her about it. Maybe they were really teasing Katie about Minerva… Then that one time Minerva told her how Katie has a talent in Transfiguration…
Then further fragmentation enveloped Hermione. She thought about Minerva with Katie… Katie with Minerva… Then of other nameless witches with Minerva… Of Minerva getting any witch whenever she wants to. Of how others are more beautiful, talented and probably 'purer' blood than her…
Hermione's defense mechanism of fight or flight kicked-in, the winner as usual— is flight. She needed to get away from them. The sense of betrayal is eating her inside out…
"I apologize I need to—"
But Minerva cut her down, "Ms. Granger, please let me have few more minutes of your time as there is one more thing I need to discuss with you."
Hermione wanted to say no. But a hand on her shoulder trapped her— this time it was Minerva's.
Despite her current predicament, Hermione had to give it to Katie Bell and her unmistakable refinement. The Quidditch player quickly made way to take her leave after she briefly expressed once more of her hope to see them at the game and have that dinner.
The very moment they were alone, Hermione started, "Please excuse me Headmistress, I have to—"
Again, the emerald-eyed witch cut her down, and with almost inaudible voice told her, "I am not the one being wooed to a dinner date. You should not be the one harboring that green monster."
Never before Hermione felt this jealous in her life that her brain and heart struggled to explain to her what just transpired. When Minerva withdrawn her hand from her shoulder, she finally braved and met emerald eyes.
Disappointedly, most of the older woman's walls are raised. And Hermione's suffocating jealousy is thrusting her to just walk away from Minerva. But before she could do so, Minerva's much softer voice meant only for her, reached her—
"Darling, know that you are mistaken… But Harry is coming back, so we'll have to talk about this some other time."
And before Hermione could fully comprehend what Minerva meant, she did hear Harry's return so she pushed everything she was feeling into a compartment. Immediately she schooled her features into free and easy ones to escape Harry's sharpness.
End of Chapter 3 | Year 2000 | Quidditch Player
Still borrowing from JK.