Well, Hermione didn't have to complain for a long time, Malfoy didn't appear during the next few days because of his accident with Buckbeak. Of course, Harry, Ron and herself were sure that he was putting up a show to get Hagrid sacked but still, they were pleased to have some peace, especially Harry. Malfoy was really hard on him since the train episode with the Dementor. But after he came back and annoyed both Harry and Ron during Potions -not without Snape's help-, they didn't care about him anymore; they were finally having their first class with Professor Lupin and they couldn't wait to see how it would be.
They were used to have a new teacher every year for this class and they were slightly afraid that this one might be as awful as Gilderoy Lockhart had been. But he wasn't. They were actually having a real teacher, this time. The first lesson was about Boggarts and they had a really fun time, especially with Neville's biggest fear being Snape.
Malfoy didn't seem to have fun, though -neither did Snape when he learned about the Boggart-. After saying that the class was ridiculous, he just stayed in the back of the room to be at the very end of the line.
"What'd you reckon's Malfoy's biggest fear?" Ron asked Harry, glancing at his enemy.
"Not being the center of the attention, probably," Hermione said with a little smile, making both Ron and Harry chuckle. Hermione was really angry at Malfoy, not only for the usual insults but for his behavior about Buckbeak. He was going to get Hagrid in trouble and she was really afraid of the outcome of the situation, knowing that his father would have whatever he wanted. Surely, no one or nothing was hurting his son without being punished appropriately.
Still, she couldn't help but notice that he seemed way healthier than he did a few days before. Maybe resting at the hospital, even if he was exaggerating his pain, had been a good thing for him. Their new teacher seemed to be feeling better too, actually. In the train and during the feast, the other night, he had looked like he was about to faint. Maybe he had just been really anxious about his new job.
When Harry's turn came and that Lupin took the matter in his own hands with the Boggart, no one noticed that Draco had taken a sudden step backwards as the Boggart changed itself into a full moon. He wondered if it would have changed into a moon for him as well, if he was facing the creature. He couldn't tell if it was his biggest fear, even though everytime the cycle was approaching he was anxious as hell and praying for the time to slow down. He couldn't find out, however, as the Boggart was destroyed before his turn, which he was hoping wouldn't come. What if it had turned into a moon? What if someone had figured it all out? He felt like hitting Lavender Brown in the face when she wondered out loud why Lupin was afraid of crystal balls.
He quickly left the room, not without glancing at Lupin who was staring at him. Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy quickly followed him. The girl was obviously over what had happened during the feast a few days before. He didn't listen to her as she was mocking Neville, wondering if he would ever get used to the cycles. If Lupin was still so afraid of them, would he be all his life? Then, he wondered when Lupin had been bitten. And finally, he slightly shook his head. He didn't want to know anything about Lupin, why would he be curious about him? Why would he care? He took a deep breath, trying to get out of his own head and he smirked when Crabbe and Goyle laughed at whatever Pansy was saying, which earned him a grin from her. He really liked her but he was such in a bad mood that even her couldn't make him feel good.
Deciding that he was definitely asking himself way too many questions, he just let them go in the Great Hall, muttering that he wasn't hungry and that he needed to catch up on his work.
.
"I see you guys after lunch," Hermione told Harry and Ron when they arrived in front of the Great Hall a few minutes after Draco's departure from where they were standing.
"You're not eating with us?" Ron asked but Hermione was already walking fast to go to the library. "What's got into her?"
"I don't know," Harry said as he shrugged, looking at Hermione as she was walking away. She seemed to have a lot of work already. They went to the Great Hall without thinking too much of it, too hungry and still excited because of Lupin, even though Harry was still bothered because of the Boggart. He was wondering if Lupin thought he was too weak to face it.
Hermione walked fast to arrive at the library. She walked in, greeted Madam Pince and quickly sat at the table she was usually using. The noise her books made when she put them all on the table made Malfoy look up from his own book. He frowned. Why was Granger sitting at the same table as him? There was no one else in the library at this time, they were all hurrying to the Great Hall to eat.
"There's plenty of space, Granger, why do you have to sit here?" He asked, staring at her. Hermione, who had already started to write on a parchment, looked up when she heard Draco's voice. She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head as she looked at her parchment again.
"I didn't see you," she mumbled, writing fast. Malfoy slowly looked around and behind him. There really was no one else, even Madam Pince couldn't be seen and Malfoy wasn't really difficult to spot with his white blond hair. He looked irritated but Hermione wasn't paying any attention to him.
"Move," he said. "Mudbloods don't sit at the same table as me. That's a disgrace."
"Move, then, because I'm here to work," Hermione said shortly. Again, Malfoy frowned. What was she thinking he was doing there instead of eating? Who did she think she was anyway? He let out a sigh loud enough for her to hear and she glanced at Malfoy as she saw him standing up. He had his arm in his splint and Hermione looked at it for a moment, still wondering if he was really in pain. Probably not. She started to write again.
"I was here first," Malfoy mumbled as he took his book and walked towards the table next to the one he was sitting at a few seconds before. He dropped it on the table, not minding the noise. Then, he came back and took his bag to do the same. Again, he walked towards the table to take his quill and his rolls of parchments. He kept doing that for the two other books that were on the table but Hermione didn't say a word. She took a deep breath and when she looked up, she saw that he was staring.
"You're so childlish," she said, her eyes narrowed. He shrugged, tilting his head as he glanced at the books.
"Only got one arm," he said shortly. Then, he sat, took an apple from his bag and bit into the fruit. "So, still walking around the school with your own library?" He asked, not actually interested. He liked being able to distract her from her work, it made him feel oddly satisfied.
"Shut up," she said quickly and he lost his smirk.
"Language, Granger, you don't get to tell me that," he said coldly.
"What are you doing here anyway?" She asked, still staring at her parchment. Malfoy could see that her quill was moving way slower than before because she was paying less attention to her work, now.
"I need to catch up," he said, glancing at his arm, "I don't know if you noticed but that Hippogriff attacked me."
"I noticed all right," she said. "Not because it's the second time you're mentioning it in one minute but because you can't stop complaining like a baby. So, why don't you catch up and stop annoying me?"
"Why don't you shut your face?" Malfoy said quickly.
They stayed silent for some time, just interrupted by the noise of Malfoy biting in his fruit. After what seemed to be half an hour of real silence, they heard the door being opened and muffled voices. Hermione glanced at Malfoy, watching him write. When she looked at her parchment again, and after a few seconds, something hit her head. It was a ball of paper. She glanced at Malfoy who was apparently reading before writing again. She opened the paper and let out a sigh as she saw "mudblood" written on it. When she looked up again, Malfoy was staring at her with this satisfied expression he had way too often. She opened her mouth but someone talked before her.
"Malfoy," called a cold voice on Hermione's left. They both looked at Snape who had a serious expression. Apparently, he had come in and asked Madam Pince if Malfoy was there before coming to call him. He made a little and quick movement with his head to ask Draco to follow him. He was fast to put everything back in his bag and he stood up before walking quickly past his professor. Hermione followed him with her eyes and they stopped on Snape who was staring at her. Uncomfortable, she felt her cheeks becoming warmer but she kept looking at him. Snape's gaze drifted from her face to the piece of paper she had in her hands. From where he was, he could totally read what was written on it. Then, he slowly turned around to leave.
.
"I don't know, he's just acting like he always does," Ron said as he shrugged. He actually wasn't looking at what Malfoy was doing on a daily basis.
"I don't think so..." Hermione said after she had told them about what had happened in the library a few days after she met him there. She kept everything to herself because she didn't care at the time but they had learned that Buckbeak was probably going to be sentenced to death and since then, she couldn't stop talking about him. "Well, yes, he's still the same idiot he has always been, I guess, but he and Snape act... oddly," she said.
"You're the only one paying attention to that anyway," Ron said shortly.
"What do you think, Harry?" She asked, turning her head to look at his friend.
"Why are you asking me?" He said, a bit taken aback and not wanting to talk about this. He didn't really care about Malfoy and he didn't know what to say, he had a lot of things on his mind already.
"I just feel like he's even worse than before," Hermione muttered. They stopped talking as Malfoy arrived at the end of the hallway, followed by Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy a few feets behind with her gang of Slytherin girls. Again, Malfoy acted as if he was fainting, which made his friends have a good laugh. "Ignore them," Hermione said, as always.
"You know what, you're right, he's worse. He's probably just getting meaner every year and he'll end up like his father," Harry said, angry at Malfoy. Ron turned his head to look at Malfoy who was walking away but also looking behind him with a little smile, praised by his friends. Ron narrowed his eyes before he looked in front of him again.
"But really, didn't you notice?" Hermione asked. "The way him and Snape act, especially with Professor Lupin," she said. And she was right, Harry had noticed to. He had noticed during the feasts, because of the way Snape and Malfoy were looking at Lupin, or because of the animated conversation they seemed to have had with Malfoy at the beginning of the year.
And Draco was actually the only one disliking Lupin, really. The others liked him, he was a really good teacher and really nice, even to Malfoy. It didn't change anything, Draco kept insulting him after the classes, even if people weren't listening. Sometimes, he wasn't even hiding it, he wasn't speaking correctly to him in front of everyone. Harry couldn't understand why Lupin was staying so calm, why he wasn't even removing points from his house.
"Maybe he'll end up really fainting and will never wake up," Ron said dreamily. "I mean, look at his face. Looks like he's about to die every other months but that you don't hear him complain about."
"Just try to stay out of his way at Hogsmeade," Harry said before he sighed. He had to stay there while they were going to have some fun and it made him sick. It was all because of the Dursleys. Hermione and Ron promised him to bring back as much stuff as they could for him before they finally left.
After that, Harry ended up in Lupin's office. It was a bit weird but they ran into each other and Harry saw there a chance to talk about the Boggart and the Dementors. Well, at least, they were talking about it until Snape came in the room to give Lupin a strange potion, apparently disgusting. All Harry could think was that Snape wanted to poison his new teacher. Ironically, Harry thought that if it was actual poison, he could at least give everyone the pleasure of offering the same potion to Malfoy.
.
"So, what's the deal with you and Lupin?" Malfoy asked Snape as they left the castle to walk towards the Whomping Willow. The days were slowly passing at Hogwarts and the time of the first cycle of this school year had come. The moon wasn't there yet but the day was slowly reaching its end. Malfoy had his hands in his pockets, he had let his cloak in his dormitory as well as his sweater. He still had his white shirt and his tie, which was loosened.
His hair were a mess and he looked so tired that Snape wondered how he could still walk. He frowned and glanced at the boy.
"It is none of your concern, I am afraid," he said with his cold voice.
"Oh come on," Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. He caught sight of Snape's glare and fell silent again. Snape narrowed his eyes. It wasn't in Draco's habits to be talkative just before the beginning of a cycle.
"I met him a long time ago, I didn't like him, nor his friends," Snape said, looking in front of him again. Malfoy frowned a bit but didn't ask for more. He had been shut down a minute before, he didn't want to talk again. He was usually in an even worse mood than usual during that time of the month.
But he was curious about Lupin. He didn't want to share his hidden place with him but the more he was thinking about it, the more he thought that it might be great to have someone to talk about all of this. Well, he always had his parents to talk to, as well as Snape in the school but it wasn't the same. They couldn't understand everything because they weren't living in this situation. They weren't werewolves, they were lucky enough not to be. But Lupin was.
Maybe Lupin would be able to understand what that void Draco was feeling in himself was. He would understand the pain he was feeling, the loneliness, his anger and his questions.
Draco and Snape stopped in front of the huge tree and Draco stared at it for a moment. Snape, as for him, stared at Malfoy. It would be the first cycle of this year, and the first cycle in Lupin's company. He had some apprehensions and could see that Draco was anxious as well. In a way, he even hoped that it wouldn't go well and that Malfoy would be left alone in the house, but he didn't want to find any corpse after the cycle either if it really went bad.
Draco turned to face Snape. He removed his hand from his pocket to take something in the one on the back of his pants.
"Could you take care of that for me?" He asked as he handed what looked like a thin envelope to his professor. Snape raised an eyebrow and took the letter, staring at it. "My owl's in the owlery," he said as Snape turned the envelope around, only seeing the word "Mom" well-written on it. He shortly nodded before he looked at Draco. Again, not something he would accept to do for any other student, he would actually laugh at their faces just for asking. Malfoy sighed. "Well then, I should go in."
Snape didn't say anything, he watched Malfoy turning around to take care of the knot and go in the passage. Soon, Snape couldn't see him anymore and he turned around to leave, the letter still in his hand when he saw Remus standing not too far from him. He frowned.
"When did you arrive?" He asked. Lupin glanced at the tree behind Snape before he looked at Snape again.
"I just saw Draco going in," he said as he approached. Snape narrowed his eyes for a second, staring at Lupin. He was in such a bad shape too. "Thank you again for the potion, Severus."
"My pleasure," Snape said slowly and coldly, making Lupin snort. He walked past him to go towards the tree.
"Don't-" Snape started, not turning around. He just turned his head a bit as he stopped talking for a few seconds. Lupin had stopped walking and was listening. "-do anything to him."
The Wolfsbane potion was very usefull, as it was allowing werewolves to keep their humanity, their mental abilities and was often making them sleepy. Lupin frowned but didn't look at Snape. He finally smiled a little.
"Protective, are we?" He asked, sounding amused. Snape frowned and walked away, not wanting to add anything to this useless conversation.
.
Lupin didn't waste any more time and went into the passage. He sighed when he was finally able to see the entrance of the Shrieking Shack. It had been so long since the last time he had been in there, he had a really weird feeling about the situation. When he started to climb the stairs, he heard footsteps coming from inside, made by Draco. He kept climbing, he was probably in the room with the mattress, where he had always been spending the cycles when he was a student. Nothing had changed, everything Lupin had damaged during his school days were still there, every marks, everything. He looked around him before he finally arrived in the room he was looking for. He saw Draco pacing up and down and he stayed by the door before he cleared his throat. Draco turned quickly, startled. He looked very anxious, he hadn't even heard Lupin coming in.
"Are you ok?" Lupin asked, joining his hands. Draco stared at him during a few seconds before he nodded. He had removed his tie and his shirt was opened. His chest was moving fast and Lupin knew how he was feeling. He finally walked in the room, looking around. There were even more damages now, probably because of Draco. He was still young, probably really frustrated to be locked in there during a transformation. But from what he could see, he didn't seem to hurt himself a lot. Lupin's body was marked by so many scars that he couldn't look at himself in a mirror easily, Draco's body was not, he was attacking evething around him instead. "Why don't you sit down?" He asked, speaking softly. Again, Malfoy stopped walking and opened his mouth. No sound came out.
He stopped himself from saying "Why don't you shut up?" but he didn't see the point. He didn't understand why Lupin seemed to be so calm, how could he be? Was it the fatigue? Draco gritted his teeth and walked away as Lupin sat on the matress, near Draco's tie. Instead of joining him, Draco chose to go near a corner of the room, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall. He bit his lips a few times, looking everywhere but at Lupin.
"Are you really ok?" Lupin asked again, concerned. He wondered if Draco was always this anxious, or if it was amplified by his presence. He tilted his head, his own respiration being heavier and his jaw being clenched.
"I'm fine," Malfoy said shortly, a bit hoarse. Lupin narrowed his eyes for half a second before he bent over to remove his shoes and socks. There was no need of having his clothes totally destroyed, he already hadn't a lot of them.
"Have you ever met another werewolf before?" He then asked. Malfoy glanced at him, his arms still crossed. He slowly shook his head before he realized that Lupin wasn't seeing him, still busy with his shoes. Draco cleared his throat.
"No," he said.
"I figured," Lupin said quietly before he stood up again, undoing the buttons of his shirt after he had removed his sweater jacket.
"Good for you," Malfoy mumbled as he looked away. Maybe he should get ready too? He gritted his teeth again. Lupin pursed his lips as he looked at Malfoy.
"This is a good opportunity, Draco, you should consider acting differently," Lupin said as he frowned. The transformation approaching was also making him easily irritable and even if he could be a very patient man, right now, he couldn't act like Draco's behavior wasn't bothering him. Draco finally moved, taking a step towards Lupin, already more aggressive.
"And you should stop talking to me like I'm a child!" He said, his fists clenched. Lupin approached a bit also.
"Then stop acting like one!" He said, louder, making Malfoy step backwards. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Draco turned around to go back towards the wall, finally removing his shirt. He didn't face Lupin after that, he didn't want anyone to see his scar. His parents were the only one knowing what it looked like and he hated it. Still, it wasn't as bad as Lupin's body, from the glimpse Draco had got.
Lupin sighed as he tried to calm down, it really wasn't the time to argue with him. They would both be really frustrated once transformed and he didn't want them to attack each other.
"Look, I know what it's like," Lupin began, glancing at Malfoy's back. This one didn't move, Lupin could see that he was taking deep breaths, probably to try to calm down too. "But it's not my fault. I didn't ask for this."
There was a long and very awkward silence as Draco heard Lupin sitting on the mattress again. The professor hid his head in his hands for a few seconds, closing his eyes, trying to think straight. He could feel that it was close, now, they were slowly running out of time and he knew that Draco was feeling it too. He removed his head from his hands and glanced at Malfoy again, as the boy was slowly turning around. He had his arms crossed again, his left hand trying to hide his right side as much as he could. But Lupin knew why and he looked down, not wanting to make Draco feel too uncomfortable.
"When did it happen?" Draco asked very quietly. Lupin wasn't even sure he had exactly understood what he had asked. He thought about asking him to repeat the question but he was certain Malfoy wouldn't want to. He'd probably act like he hadn't said anything. Lupin figured out the question, having heard "when" at the beginning. He looked up at Draco who was actually looking at him like he was afraid of something.
"I was about to turn five," Lupin said, quietly too. Malfoy directly looked down, his jaw clenched. Lupin licked his dry lips. "Anything else you want to know?" Draco briefly shook his head, still looking away. He leaned against the wall again and after a few seconds, he decided to ask about something that had been in his mind for a very long time.
"Does it ever gets... better?" He asked, not knowing how to say this. Lupin frowned a little as he tilted his head before he smiled sadly.
"The pain, you mean?" He asked. The transformations were atrocious, extremely painful. He saw Draco nodding and he felt bad. He was probably about to destroy the last hope Draco had about his condition but he couldn't lie to him. Or could he?
Lupin stood up and walked towards Draco, who felt trapped. He couldn't move backwards anymore, he was against the wall. He barely glanced at his professor who stopped in front of him.
"I'm sorry..." Lupin muttered. "It'll never change," he said. Draco bit his lower lip from the inside of his mouth, feeling his eyes stinging. Lupin decided to remove his shirt, staring at Draco. "Look at me," he finally said. He was ashamed of his body, he hated his body, but he needed Malfoy to see it. With great difficulty, Draco turned his head to discover the scars all over Lupin's chest. He didn't even realized that they had both stopped breathing at that moment. "I know what it's like, it drives you mad. It hurts so much that you think the only way to stop it is to hurt yourself. So you start being aggressive," Lupin said, his voice being even lower than before. "You feel like you can't control it... But you can't let it get to you."
At that moment, Draco suddenly bent over, a moan of pain crossing his lips. Without noticing, when another painful feeling hit him in the guts, he had grabbed Lupin's wrist, his eyes full of water already. He didn't want to turn. He gritted his teeth, looking up when he felt Lupin's free hand on the back of his neck. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks and his vision was blurry when he got a glimpse of Lupin. He didn't know if it was because of his tears or because of the change.
"Don't let it get to you, Draco, don't let it win," were the last words Draco heard before he let out a long scream, his pupils dilating. He didn't really know what happened to him after that, all he could think about was that he couldn't feel Lupin's grip anymore and that he really didn't want to be alone.