It.

Chapter 40

Year 2006 – 5th Seventh of May


"What did you do, Harry?"

"Nothing, Hermione! The bloody unbreakable vow would not let me do anything… But I tell you love, bearing witness to it was TOO MUCH… And for the first time Hermione, I had hoped that this love between you and Minerva has never started, or has finally ended."

"What…Do...You…Mean?" Hermione panted. Everything in her is trembling.

"Yesterday at St. Mungos, while you were still unconscious, Minerva and Rose have met... I prayed that love will bring deliverance as I watch them interact with each other for the first time… I was going mad mentally begging to Merlin that love would make her see the truth when she sees Rose in flesh... But Hermione, Minerva is bloody none-the-wiser…"


An agonising sensation woke up Minerva McGonagall. Her emerald eyes snapping open at the roaring fire inside of her which predominantly emanating from her chest. Under her pillow, her right hand clenches, waiting for the burning feeling to stop. And as sudden as it attacked her, it ends.

The 'it' has been plaguing Minerva for a year, of which there is no telling of how long she would have to suffer from its bouts. Her consolation lately is that she has noticed that the count of occurrences has considerably lessened. Plus, the degree of pain on each episode is not as excruciating, compared to when it started... That, or she has gotten used to its torture.

Minerva would never forget when she first felt it— she just entered her office and didn't make it to a chair; she keeled over and had no strength to even let out the tormenting scream rippling from her body. Truthfully, she had thought that 'it' meant that she was finally done in this life, about to depart from a heart attack.

However, 'it' was not fatal. Instead, Minerva would have to endure 'it' from time to time, for undetermined number of months, or perhaps years… There is really no remedy, no potions or spell to counter the attack. Minerva simply had to manage until it goes away.

Poppy who witnessed its attack, of that fifth or perhaps it was the seventh time, she had insisted to bring Minerva to St. Mungos after her instantaneous health scanning had shown how volatile Minerva's core magic has gotten. Unsurprisingly, Minerva refused, but she compromised to let Poppy set a strict and regular schedule of check-ups on her. The Healer accepted the concession, recognising that it is already much more than the usual nothing from Minerva McGonagall who is notorious about own health issues… It also frightened Poppy, for it says a lot of what Minerva is truly experiencing.

The closest explanation for what it is— after undergoing several examinations under Poppy's wand, is that Minerva is suffering the aftermath from that fateful night. It is the lingering adverse reaction to Minerva's wellbeing. It is the cost of her choice when she broke through Azkaban's anti-apparation barriers…when she gambled everything— to save the love of her life.

When Harry Potter followed Hermione out of the castle to respond to the reported dark mark at Azkaban, Minerva was pulled apart into several misgivings:

One, Minerva— the Headmistress of Hogwarts wanted to remain in it. To check every inch of the castle for any security issue or triple check for general vulnerability… And she wanted to go through every student and staff— to personally assure them (and herself) of the school's protection.

Two, Minerva— the Ministry's Special Advisor and war survivor wanted to rush to Azkaban. She could feel her magic faintly reacting at the mere notion of potential conflict at the prison island that may unleash forces of evil. She's much aware how another wand— her wand would be a tremendous upside to the Ministry to prevent danger from breaking out.

And above all, Minerva— the unknown Minerva…wanted to run after Hermione…the woman she loves...the woman who left with utmost misconception.

Just the same, Minerva McGonagall is neither free from her responsibilities with Hogwarts nor from her role in their Wizarding society. And as always, Minerva ended up mitigating to the best of her ability, of all the demands from her… And bravely pushing her personal wants down the list.

Instead, she rushed to request from Hogwarts an entry to the focal chamber where she could fortify the wards of Hogwarts…

This undisclosed location is of Minerva's discovery while she was repairing the castle after the war. When she consulted the portraits of all the previous Heads, none seems to be aware of its existence, not even Albus Dumbledore... Although to be fair, Hogwarts was never brought to such dire need of repair. It must be the only reason why the castle has revealed the chamber to her. Minerva has privately referred to it as Hogwarts' core.

The said chamber is similar to the room of requirement, in terms of not having one specific location for its entry, but seems to open up when she calls for it. But dissimilar to the room of the requirement, the size of it is barely ten by ten by ten feet, with nothing but runes everywhere that seems to constantly transforms, as if alive, and almost tangible.

For the passing years after its discovery, Minerva hasn't completely finished transcribing and exploring the great deal of runes in the said chamber. But of the ones she ultimately transcribed, they have given her important knowledge about the castle, tremendously way more than the many decades she had spent residing in it, and apparently beyond what has ever been written about Hogwarts.

Minerva has learnt several secreted passages of the castle. Some of them leading to longer routes within the school for no reasons at all but to provide alternatives. Some are basically speckled by elves magic, as Minerva has assumed are the preferred course by Hogwarts elves. And then there are those leading completely outside the school, a couple will even drop you in the forbidden forest, mostly covered by a disappearing boulder…

Also, the runes have presented to Minerva of a very ancient magic within the castle's edifice. It explains the mind-boggling designs of classrooms, offices, and personal rooms of Hogwarts staff that seem to be always adapting accordingly…

For example, Minerva elected to repair and keep her damaged transfiguration office and personal chamber after the war, much content to just get all of them in order, never wanting to occupy the rooms commonly allocated for Headmaster/Headmistress. But the day before September 1, she found herself and all her current rooms relocated to more or less in the same area where of Albus Dumbledore's office/personal rooms, confusingly keeping the latter rooms quite intact within the same section.

Prior to discovery and understanding of the runes, Minerva has accepted like everyone else how the castle is riddled with ambiguous old magic, similar to whatever powers the Sorting hat. After all, there had been instances in the past that new professors would experience the castle's magical initiatives when they join the staff. Moving around classrooms and offices suitably. Likewise, expanding or collapsing sizes of classrooms, depending on the current students' population.

Much later, after comprehending this part of the runes, she realised that the magic behind all of it was in fact created from the four founders infused magic when they designed the castle. Secured in its foundation, and seems to be astutely pre-conditioned to foster by the order of innocent magic, all abundantly supplied by underage students during the months when school is in session. It was nothing short of astonishment to uncover the infinite and correlated magic by the founders with the youngsters in relation to the castle's interior organisation.

Also amusingly, Minerva has learnt that the moving main stairs were from the antics of Godfric Gryffindor and Helga Hufflepuff. Something that the two had conspired as their entertainment, betting to see who could randomly figure out the technique of handling the stairs at that time…which the two never lifted the formulated enchantments… And for more than fifty years at Hogwarts, Minerva does not know anyone, whether staff or students, who never experience casual woes in delays for missing the right floor because of the moving stairs. But now, Minerva possesses the key to make the stairs land to where she intends to go…Grinningly whenever she make use of discovered code.

Furthermore, two years after the war, Minerva McGonagall completed a momentous transcription of one sequence of runes; it stated one grave provision by the four founders that could have changed the course of the last ended war…

Godric, Helga, Rowena and Salazar had their differences and eventual fall-out, but in its origin, even Salazar was onboard with the idea of bequeathing part of their natural magic for the ultimate protection of the castle and its residents with only one caveat— a full pledge commitment by one long standing resident of Hogwarts.

Minerva cried her heart out upon fully understanding the runes— that if a resident has submitted one's magical core inside the said focal chamber, that is in effect making the unbreakable vow to commit one's life to safeguard the school, wherein Hogwarts deem the offer worthy…the castle will call upon the founders' magical defence that would hold off attack, not for unlimited time, but apparently long enough for the residents to either flee for safety and or cast their collective magic that would have reinforced the wards that would withstand any counter spell for considerable period, even from a dark powerful wizard.

The revelation had Minerva unraveling with abandon— especially after she actually submitted her magical core and Hogwarts accepted it...she felt the castle's protection wards connecting to her magic… And emotionally, she felt the weight of consequences for it being two years late— an offer she could have submitted… a way that could have saved many lives. The faces of those who perished during the Hogwarts battle swam in her mind, and the impact of their death fell on her once again.

The deep guilt from such deduction was too much that it drove her confessing the discovery to Filius. Fortunately, she benefited from the perceptive discussion with the wise head of Ravenclaw. He compelled her to remember the fact that no one possesses such information prior. And he helped her accept the reasoning that thus no one is culpable of not submitting such commitment to Hogwarts.

Filius also declared that if Minerva is to burden the supposition, he is equally guilty as her, and many of the residents of the castle who fought the good flight, who in a heartbeat would have submitted their commitment. Whether Hogwarts deem the offer worthy is of course another matter, but just the same, he spoke for himself that he would have made the offer…

And the noble wizard also gave her the room of acceptance that the battle of Hogwarts did happen, that no matter how much they wish otherwise, they already went through it... And while they all carry the wounds from the destruction and lost lives— again, it is in fact was when Harry had defeated Voldemort for good— essentially the juncture where they closed the chapters of that darkness for their society, and able them to live in precious peace today…

In the same vein, Filius made certain to assert his admiration to Minerva. That the moment the woman learnt of its provision on protection, the witch took the commitment without reservation… He declared how it is a testament to the long-standing dedication by Minerva to the school, to the students who are the future of their Wizarding world.

And the night that Minerva and Hermione received Harry's patronus about the appearance of dark mark outside of the Ministry building, Minerva's magic conveyed assurance that Hogwarts is far from endangerment. But her mistrustful head, borne of experience from three wars had her mechanically directing oneself to her default comportment to be at Hogwarts to protect and defend it. Besides, the pull of her responsibility as its Headmistress is enough to have her running back to the school… loathing but needing to part ways with Hermione in such critical situation…

Then when she felt Hogwarts' wards admitted Hermione's magical signature, which she deliberately set as the only grant for entry, her ardent desire was to rush to the entrance and check on Hermione. However, her animagus just picked up the faint scent of the missing first year student and she did not want to drop the track. Plus she was beginning to feel wary of the whereabouts of such young student.

Lamentably, finding the eleven year old in such manner thoroughly thrown off Minerva's equanimity. Never had she seen a student under such state— seemingly blindly firing off a vague version of avada kedavra, which fortunately missed her, except the curse had caused a line of trees ablaze and she failed to avoid one falling branch, hitting her temple.

The entire episode shook Minerva. Not for the danger for herself, but for the young kid. And then the duty to shield him away from any risk just plunged Minerva in cold realisation that she could have lost a student— under her care, again, post war…

The crippling insight made her entirely foolish in her words… Of her dismissive remarks to Poppy. Especially when she knows that the healer has nothing but concern…

And following that had been her deplorable ramblings, which led to dire error, to a hurting grave misconception that wounded Hermione... with such torturous belief…

When Hermione left after Harry's news of Azkaban, Minerva wanted to run after her in the next second. But doubt and self-anger forcefully held her frozen. She was truly frightened that because of what transpired, she would see finality in Hermione's face… that this is some kind of doom intervention was to tell Minerva what she has always feared— that she does not deserve Hermione… For bloody hell, she knew that she deserves that slap and more castigation, for her behaviour today, and all the days following that May 7, 1998, beginning at the Manor…

Then, and now, she fallaciously conveyed to Hermione that the time spent with her was all about fucking… But nothing could be further from the truth… Not when being with Hermione is and will always be the finest in Minerva's tedious life…

It was only Harry's gentle touch on her shoulder, and his words, "Follow us, Minerva…" that Minerva resumed breathing, not realising she was almost drowning in wretchedness. His piercing olive eyes told her he had heard/witnessed that miserable misunderstanding, including the slap… "The moment you could." Harry added before he too pivoted and left Hogwarts.

And so, Minerva did what she had to do at Hogwarts, and as fast as she could... Checking on everything in the castle… And then sending patronus to Filius about Azkaban just before she disapparated from Hogwarts.

The moment her feet landed at the only appearing point allowed in the prison island, Minerva's heart went into overdrive…for hardly taking her first step towards the main entry, an explosion shook the ground.

Hermione...! Minerva thought with utmost fear, but before she could make out the actual location, a second blast had Minerva sagaciously casting a protection spell…

One…two…three… Minerva mentally counted the seconds whilst conducting a general assessment of the situation, looking out for possible incoming assault from different directions, and taking note of the emergency wards activating all around the island…that means, no one is getting in or out of Azkaban until they take them down.

I have to find Hermione.

Minerva was attempting very hard not to panic and logically she knew she needed to measure her immediate plan of actions but the thought of Hermione had her discounting her usual judiciousness. She transformed into her animagus and took the route she knew that would lead to the visitors' area, where she is assuming the actual explosions had happened.

Upon reaching the juncture, she transformed back into human form, keeping her wand firm and ready, as she digests the revealed pandemonium: of dust, smoke, fire, falling debris, swirling magic, and ongoing forewarning of the prison's wards…

Her emerald eyes began scanning for Hermione in a grid-like method. And after surveying over several sections, she found Harry who was rapidly moving away countless wreckages with his wand… For a second or two, she glanced away from Harry to search again for Hermione before coming back to Harry's location, and she gasped at the scene.

Harry just scooped Hermione in his arms from where he dug her, placed her few steps away for an even ground and began reviving her. Minerva felt her world crushed in on her… She ordered herself to go to Hermione and promptly fell on the ground with her first step. She had to pick up her wand that rolled away before she stood up and forcefully headed towards Hermione.

"You're not dead. Come on, Hermione. Please, breathe. Fuck. You're not dead. Just breathe."

Minerva's own heart almost stopped at hearing Harry's chanting over and over, as he tried to get Hermione's heart pumping.

"You are not fucking dying today. Please, please just breathe, Hermione. Fucking, breathe."

Harry was cursing and begging as he tries his damnest to restore life into her. And after unknown count of attempts, Minerva heard him say that he felt Hermione's pulse… very weak, but a pulse…

And then, even before Harry barked that they had to bring Hermione to St. Mungos, even before an Auror told Harry the bad news that no one could depart the prison island because of the emergency wards, and even before another Auror advised that they've began to take down the anti-apparation enchantment, and even before Harry's loud cursing competed with the roaring waves… Minerva's heart recommenced functioning with one goal…

Without further thought, Minerva made the grievous decision— bring Hermione to St. Mungos by risking everything she has…

Minerva crouched beside the boy-who-lived-best-friend of her love, "Let me have her, Harry." She gently commanded as she gathered Hermione completely into her arms. She casted the most powerful protection she could summon to wholly surround Hermione… Internally prepared her magical core and Minerva broke through the anti-apparation veil.

Minerva will never find the words to describe with such precision of how first the slithering burning came, and then as she did not withdraw from going through the magical passage, all at once the burning inside erupted, the effect forced tears out of her eyes, the pain was quite unbearable… But then, she held on with only one thought— Hermione cannot die… But Minerva would— if that is what it takes to bring Hermione to St. Mungos for the much needed healer's attention...a chance to live…

Three quarters of an hour after apparating to St. Mungos, Healer Hypatia told Minerva that Hermione would be all right… That she just needs plenty of time for the potions to complete the healing… It would be the first breath Minerva would expel in real relief before she finally let go with her empty tank of energy and she collapsed…

Three hours later when Minerva woke up at St. Mungos, also confined, she learned from Hypatia of her almost depleted magic… that a couple of more minutes, her magic would have expired— that it would have been a no point of return. And most likely leading to her death…

Further, Hypatia said that if she wants to recover her full power, she would have to refrain from using magic for several weeks… Minerva just knew that she has to obey this one, much to her grief… The Headmistress who can't use magic is absolutely pointless, but she has to subscribe to Hypatia's recommendation in order to regain her power soon… For one, locking herself at Hogwarts and limiting her outside engagement in the succeeding weeks would help… And perhaps, that would also be best…given these latest events…

And today, basically a year over, Minerva cannot honestly claim that she has her powers completely recouped… Perhaps she has recovered above ninety in calculation… She would need more time to feel the same natural dominance in her magical core…

Moreover, she still suffers these episodes of burning attacks… Another thing she's keeping in tight confidence, only Poppy knows of the bouts… Such temporary unwelcome token to her health from that grave decision… A decision Minerva would choose all over again— to save Hermione.

But just few minutes ago, Minerva woke up from said attack… She waved a hand to gauge time, find it quarter after three am. She groaned, "I really need more, at least an hour." Especially that she had finished all her work and gone to bed around midnight... She weighed the merit of taking a cooling potion that Poppy provided to somehow give her bit of relief. But then, Minerva quickly forgoes it, the potion tends to make her lethargic for twenty-four hours… And while today is actually Sunday, it'll be a long day for the Headmistress of Hogwarts.

With that thought, Minerva has the urge to hex the Board of Governors; during a dinner party last December, they convinced themselves how great the idea it is to hold a sort of open fair at Hogwarts ground for the eight commemoration… That's today… Hogwarts will be a full house… But as Minerva rolled onto her stomach and then hugging a pillow, she could only think of one confirmed attendance— one sent by Hermione…

.

.

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End of Chapter 40.

It.

Posted 2022.0703


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