Hunter was used to all sorts of negative feelings. He was used to feeling like a failure, he was used to feeling anxious or nervous (especially around Belos), he was used to anger, frustration, inadequacy, loneliness, sadness…But what he was feeling right now, this feeling was too much, way too much. It was overwhelming, completely and totally overwhelming. It was all of the negative emotions he'd ever felt combined and multiplied by a thousand.

He'd never felt more hopeless. He'd never felt more small.

Right now, Hunter didn't even know where to begin. It was too much, it was all just too much. Everything was a lie. Everything.

This whole time, he'd been helping a witch Hunter. Is that why Belos gave him his name? Because he was just going to be used as a disposable tool, a puppet, to help the Emperor fulfill his vile goal? Because he was unintentionally helping Belos hurt others?

How could he trust someone like that…How could he just blindly do whatever his..uncle…told him to do, no questions asked? Even trapped in Belos' mind, even after seeing his gruesome memories, Hunter still defended him…How could he do that? Why was it that it literally took Belos trying to kill him for him to realize that yeah, maybe his uncle wasn't so great after all. He'd just been living in denial this whole time. What a fool he'd been. What a complete, utter fool.

A part of Hunter wondered if he would've gone back to the castle if Belos didn't know they were in his mind. He didn't want to think it, but…Would he be back there right now? Even after knowing what a horrible man Belos was, even after discovering he was a Grimwalker, whatever that was, would he still be back at the castle right now, after learning everything he did, if Belos never knew he and Luz were in his mind?

Hunter was afraid the answer would be yes. Even after all of that, if Belos still welcomed him, still gave him a place…He would still be there by Belos' side if he could. Yeah, Hunter was hurt, deeply hurt. He was scared and terrified of the person he trusted, of the person he thought he knew.

But Belos was all Hunter had ever known. He had no life outside of the castle, besides some feeble beginnings of friendship. He had nothing if he didn't have Belos.

And how messed up did that make him? Who in their right mind would still want to go back after all of that?

But he couldn't go back. Even if he wanted to go back after all of that, he couldn't. Belos knew he was in his mind. He knew that Hunter knew some of his darkest secrets. He knew that Hunter knew he was a Grimwalker now, and because of all that, Belos already tried to kill him, just like he killed all of the previous Golden Guards.

Hunter knew his morals were all over the place right now because he knew that he could have potentially excused all of the bad things Belos did, claiming that Belos was still a good person and if he did those things, he had a very good reason to. How screwed up did he have to be to think that?

But then he found out about the previous guards. "It wasn't wild magic, was it?" It was all just another lie, another lie to cover up another terrible truth. "What a shame. Out of the Grimwalkers, you looked the most like him."

What was a Grimwalker, anyway? What was he?

Hunter thought he knew what he was-a teen prodigy, the emperor's right hand man, and a powerless witch who was given a chance-but now…Now, he wasn't so sure…

It was only days ago that Hunter was so desperately trying to be worthy of wearing the Golden Guard sigil, but now the sight of it just made him sick, it choked him. The truth was, Belos didn't need him, he didn't even want him. Hunter was just disposable. Belos just tossed him away like all of the others…The others. How many…How many Grimwalkers were there before him? How many others did Belos also just throw away? And-and how many more would come after him?

Distantly, Hunter heard Flapjack chirping at him, and the relentless noise continued for a few more seconds before Hunter jumped back. He hadn't even realized he was breathing heavily again until Flapjack, bless that little palisman, started tugging at his hair.

"Sorry, sorry," Hunter mumbled, running his hands down his face. That's right, he was safe now. For the time being, at least. He was at Willow's house, sitting on the bed she made him on the couch. Everyone else was in their respective rooms, so it was only him and Flapjack down here right now.

"Do you know what a Grimwalker is?" the boy asked his palisman sadly, hoping for an answer. Flapjack only chirped and shook his tiny head.

Great. So not only did Hunter figure out he wasn't a real witch, he didn't even know what exactly he was. He had absolutely nothing now. Everything was gone, everything was a lie, including his own identity.

"This is too much, Flapjack," Hunter whispered, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. "I-I don't…I don't know what to do now." He didn't even know where he'd be living now, because he couldn't stay with Willow forever, and he certainly wasn't welcome at the castle anymore.

He faintly remembered Luz offering him a place at the Owl House, but…He didn't want to think about that either. Those people were supposed to be his enemies. He tried to hurt them for crying out loud, how could they be so willing to let him stay?!

Besides, he wasn't sure he could stand to be near Luz right now…Not after she witnessed all of that with him. He was ashamed, embarrassed that she knew he wasn't a real person, or that Belos didn't want him anymore. He didn't want anyone to know that. It was too much, too personal.

But she did know, didn't she? Wasn't she disgusted? Wasn't she completely disgusted that he would help someone like Belos, that he'd been pretending to be a real witch all this time?

'The human just wants to help,' Flapjack tried to tell him. 'You can trust her.'

But Hunter wasn't so sure. He wasn't sure of anything right now, to be honest.

'You should try to get some sleep,' the palisman chirped at him, fluttering in front of his face. 'You need it.'

Hunter didn't want to sleep, or rather, he wasn't sure he'd be able to. Not with all of these thoughts racing about his mind. He was still too freaked out, too anxious, too worried, too upset to sleep. He wouldn't be able to calm down.

He tried to lay there anyway, though. He laid down on the couch, head resting on a fluffy pillow and several blankets piled on top of him, but he couldn't fall asleep. He was just stuck there, stuck with all sorts of intrusive thoughts. Hunter wanted to break down and cry, but he didn't. Hunter wanted to throw his pillow across the room and scream, but he didn't. He just kept it all in. He had to, he couldn't ruin this kind hospitality that Willow and her parents were giving him. He had to enjoy it as long as it lasted, because he probably wouldn't be welcome here for very long. He had a very long list of the most complicated problems, and who would want such a screwed up, messed up teen staying with them? He was only being a burden to everyone around him right now, they didn't really want to help him, Willow didn't, they were all just being nice, or maybe they were only tricking him so they could turn him into the Emperor, or-

"Ow!" he exclaimed, a sudden jolt of pain bringing him out of his thoughts. He glared at Flapjack who just yanked him on the ear with his beak. "What was that for?"

The cardinal chirped at him. 'Calm down, everything will be okay, I love you.'

Though Hunter had never felt more miserable in his entire false existence, he managed a small smile. "Yeah, I love you too, bud." He could count on Flapjack, at least. He trusted his palisman inside and out.

Flapjack landed on Hunter's pillow and quickly squirmed his way into the blankets, where he snuggled with Hunter for the rest of the night. Maybe Hunter wouldn't be able to get much sleep, but his palisman was here with him, at least. Even if he was just a tiny little thing, he wasn't alone.

Flapjack nudged Hunter's chin with his wing. 'And you'll never be alone again, I promise.'

Hunter did finally fall asleep, but it wasn't until about 5am that he did so. He was exhausted enough that dreams didn't bother him much that night, but he still woke up in a panic, sweat running down his forehead and panting. He quickly sat up and rubbed his eyes, before noticing light was now streaming in through the window. It was morning now, late morning, probably. He still felt really tired, but he didn't want to close his eyes again. If he did, he might see…him again.

His nightmare was already fading from memory, but Hunter knew he saw Belos in it, looming over him and about to attack. In the background, the previous Golden Guards…The previous Grimwalkers…They called out to him for help, pleading with him to save them, arms outreached in desperation.

It was horrible.

Noticing he was awake now, Flapjack suddenly appeared in his line of vision and let out a short series of chirps.

"I'm fine," Hunter mumbled to the palisman, though they both knew it was a lie. He ran a hand through the bird's feathers and let out a long sigh, before leaning back into the soft cushions of the couch.

"Hunter?"

He turned his head to see Willow standing a few feet from him.

"Goodmorning!" She walked over to him and took a seat in a large green armchair that was across from the couch. "Were you able to get any sleep?" Concern laced her voice, and her smile seemed to wobble. He could tell that she was just putting on a front, trying to stay positive for his sake.

Hunter pulled a blanket over his shoulders, currently wanting nothing more than to hide away right now. "I guess," he replied. He paused for a moment. "A little."

Willow's smile toppled a little bit. "Did you have any nightmares?" She met his gaze but quickly dropped it in favor of looking down at her lap, where her hands were clasped. "I talked to Luz last night. She…Told me what happened."

Hunter's ears burned red, and he stared at her in disbelief for a moment, before sinking further into the couch, his blanket now covering his head. "Oh." He wasn't sure how he felt about that. She contacted Luz without asking him first? Hunter really didn't want anyone else to know what happened back there-Luz knowing was already hard enough. What would Willow think about him now? Oh no, no, no, no…She hated him now, didn't she? She hated him now that she knew he was helping such a horrible person for so long. She hated him now because he wasn't a good person, he'd been blind and oblivious and…and…and he was a Grimwalker! Maybe he still didn't really know what being a Grimwalker meant, but he knew it wasn't good. He was disposable, he was just a copy of another person…A copy of a real person…Who'd want to be friends with him now? Willow had to hate him now, how could she not? She hated him, she hated him, she hated him…

"Hunter?" Willow's face was in front of him now, she was kneeling down in front of the couch. When did she move? "Hunter, are you with me?"

Hunter lurched back reflexively, but then he shook his head frantically. "Sorry, sorry, I uh…I'm fine."

Now Willow was frowning, and it only made him feel worse. Titan, he was making her upset right now, wasn't he? "I um…I guess I'm just surprised Luz…told you. How much did she say?"

"Everything…" She had a very sad expression on her face. "It sounded horrible. I'm so, so sorry you had to go through all of that. You didn't deserve any of that, what Belos did to you was terrible!"

Wait…Willow was…Sorry? She wasn't mad? She didn't hate him? "You don't…hate me?" His voice sounded very small and distant, even to him.

Willow's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Wha-hate you?! Why would I hate you?"

"Because I'm a monster. Because I helped that monster for so long, because I'm not even real!" He was practically yelling now, which he didn't at all mean to do, but he couldn't help it. He was still just so overwhelmed by all of this, and he didn't mean to raise his voice at Willow, he really didn't, but…All he could do was drop his head face first into a pillow and groan. He grabbed at his hair angrily. "I'm not even a real witch. None of the Golden Guards were, and he was just going to dispose of me like the rest of them." His eyes squeezed shut tightly and he felt a teardrop run down his face.

Oh great, now he was crying too!

"Aren't you disgusted? By me? I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I wore that emblem proudly, I was so proud to be the Golden Guard, to help Belos, to have him trust me, but…" His voice broke. "That was all just a lie. Everything was a lie. I don't-I don't even know what's real anymore."

Next thing he knew, Hunter felt Willow squeeze his hand. He lifted his head and turned to meet her gaze. She looked close to tears herself.

"I'm not disgusted, Hunter. I never was, I never will be. You're my friend. Everything that happened with you and Belos-none of it was your fault, okay?! It was all his fault for tricking you, for getting you to believe those things. You were just doing what you thought was right, none of this is your fault."

Hunter slowly rose to a sitting position again, and the blanket slipped off of his shoulders. "You-you really believe that?" he asked. It-it had to be too good to be true, right? Right?

"I do. I promise." She squeezed his hand again, and then suddenly, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Hunter was too surprised to do anything about it, so his mouth just hung open like a gawking fool. Willow pulled back and smiled softly at him. "You're a good person, and whether or not you're a Grimwalker-" Hunter winced at that word. "-You'll always be my friend."

"But-"

"No buts! You seem real enough to me! Just the fact that you're so upset right now proves to me that you're a real person, through and through! You feel emotions like a real witch, you have friends, you have a palisman. You're nerdy and I've seen you try hard to do the right thing, and you're amazing, Hunter, and that's all the proof I need."

Now his eyes were blurred by tears. Now he really started sobbing, his shoulders shaking violently as he tried to mumble out his gratitude. This time, he hugged Willow, pulling her close, afraid to let go. Willow kept whispering, "It's okay Hunter, it'll all be okay," over and over again, but no other words were said. They just sat there for a while, neither wanting to let go.