Chapter IV: Pathétique
So don't let me become the one you love
'Cause I'll just take your blood and use you up
I know it's tempting to jump off the edge and fly
But this is not a dream
So don't let me become the one you love
"Eh?"
Bertolt stood above the sleeping Priscilla who had conked out in front of the female barracks the night before. She was curled up in a ball with a look of relaxed contentment on her face and laid as still as a statue. Bertolt was hesitant to wake her from her peaceful slumber, but if he let her continue she'd surely miss what remained of breakfast.
"Priscilla..." He said quietly, gently nudging her with his foot, "Come on, wake up..."
Priscilla gasped and sat up after the little nudge. She looked around frantically, mildly confused as to where she was. It's not as if this was the first time it had happened though, but it always left her bewildered and disoriented to wake up so far removed from her bed. Bertolt squatted down next to her and smiled pleasantly.
"I uh, I must have..." Priscilla began, but then shook her head, "No, there's no excuse for this behavior... Did I miss breakfast?"
"No, it started not too long ago." Bertolt informed her, "Come on, I'm sure Reiner is wondering where you are."
Bertolt held out his hand and Priscilla graciously took it so that he could help her up. Bertolt was always quite kind to her, in fact he was the first one she grew to like and trust after Reiner, but he was no hero. More like the hero's sidekick if anything. Still, she was fond of him and enjoyed his company. The two of them made their way to the mess hall where the rest of the 104th had gathered to chow down. The food wasn't anything fancy, just some vegetable stew with a side of potatoes as meat was scarce and was reserved for the higher ups – especially those of high standing in the Interior. The food they had was pretty much the same everyday, but Priscilla was always grateful for anything she got.
"Yo!" Reiner shouted as Bertolt and Priscilla approached, "Where ya been?"
"I overslept a bit." Priscilla said as she sat down next to him.
"I'll get both of us some food." Bertolt offered, turning on his heel to fetch breakfast for himself and Priscilla. Reiner had already gotten his own.
"What a guy!" Priscilla laughed, but her attention quickly returned to Reiner as it often did. She laid into him and squirmed a bit, never one to be subtle when she sought his attention "Ohhh Reiner... I'm so sore, mind giving me a massage?"
She looked up at him and batted her thick eyelashes coquettishly with a flirty smile spread across her lips. She urged him on by repeatedly humming 'Hmm? Hmmmm~' until she got some sort of response. Reiner let out a rough scoff.
"Would I say no to you?" He replied, then leaned in close and added, inaudible to anyone else, "Princess?"
"One of these days I'm sure you will." She teased mischievously, drawing a bark of laughter out of Reiner.
"Sure, sure..." He dismissed, "Now turn around."
The two of them each swung one leg over the side of the wooden benches they sat on so that the table portion was to their right, giving him easy access. Reiner cracked his knuckles as Priscilla eagerly awaited the much needed massage, but it was more than just that. In fact, her muscles weren't even that sore, she just looked for any excuse she could find to feel his touch. He didn't make her wait long before placing his strong hands on her mildly stiff shoulders and kneading into them deeply. A chill ran down the girl's spine – it felt so damn good the way he made her melt like butter. Her eyes closed and she let out a content sigh, almost a moan, as he worked her muscles.
"Yeesh, you two..."
Bertolt had returned and was shaking his head at the over the top display before him. He held a tray in each hand that contained a bowl of stew and the potatoes, along with the utensils to go with them.
"Jealous?" Reiner said mockingly, "If you want a massage too, buddy, just ask."
Priscilla giggled and reluctantly pulled away from Reiner, she knew she had to eat up before the food got cold.
"We can get back to that later." She suggested.
The two of them readjusted their positions so that they were facing the table again. Reiner went back to his half eaten meal and Bertolt placed one of the trays in front of Priscilla before sitting down across from the touchy-feely pair.
"Why you so sore anyway?" Reiner asked after taking a chomp out of his potato – he was one to talk with his mouth full.
"She was sleeping on the ground outside." Bertolt quickly ratted her out before Priscilla could speak for herself.
"What? Again?" Reiner marveled after swallowing, "Still got some feral blood in you?"
"...Nightmares. I went for a walk to clear my head and just kind of..." Priscilla's voice trailed off as she admitted what had happened, "Hmph. Doesn't matter." She added coldly, focusing on her food.
"Hey," Reiner began, poking his big nose into her personal space, "You know that if you can't sleep you can always share my bed."
"Oh me, oh my..." Priscilla cooed, "You know we'd both be reprimanded for that. I'd hate for you to get in trouble on my account."
"Pfft, what's the worst they could do?"
It had been about a year since the 104th began training. Priscilla mostly kept to herself, save for her psychotic attachment to Reiner. Her trust in people was understandably shaken by her childhood and early adolescence so she was wary about people getting close to her. Reiner had been encouraging her to try and open up to others, introducing her to Bertolt specifically, but he didn't want to force her into too much too soon either. Priscilla put on a surface level of cool, calm and collected, but he was well aware of the fragility she housed inside.
That night was similar to most of her nights: solo training after dark. Priscilla was determined to strengthen her mind and body by spending even her 'downtime' training.
"You're gonna work yourself to death." She heard from behind her. Priscilla looked over her shoulder and saw none other than Reiner approaching her.
"Discipline is crucial." She responded swiftly, "If I don't discipline myself, what good am I here?"
"And slapping around a training dummy every night is gonna harden you up?" He smirked.
She couldn't deny that he had a point there.
"OK, what do you propose then?" She asked, turning to face him with her hands on her hips.
"Spar with me." He more than spoke – it was like a command.
"Heh..." Priscilla chuckled, eyes narrowed, "Sure. I can take you."
The two walked towards each other, both brimming with confidence. Both so sure that they would conquer the other. But in the end, there could only be one victor. Reiner and Priscilla raised their fists and took on a defensive stance. Priscilla's heart was racing and adrenaline was pumping through her veins, fueling her as if it were a stimulating drug. While she had indeed grown stronger, Reiner definitely had the height and weight advantage, since he'd grown as well in the year gone by, but she was certain her nimble dexterity could give her her own unique edge in this fight.
However, before she could even launch her attack, Reiner struck. He used a sweeping kick to knock her down on her back, knocking the wind out of her lungs. He lunged down, flipped her over and pinned her down while she was on her stomach. He then swung his muscular arm around her neck and successfully put her into a headlock – he had won, but more importantly, Priscilla has lost... pathetically at that. The confidence she had mere moments ago was shattered.
"Do you surrender?!" He asked, cheeky as all hell.
"Ngghh!" She choked out, trying frantically to pry his arm away, "F-Fine! I surrender! Let me GO!"
"Say please." He sneered.
"Ugh!" Priscilla grunted as she writhed beneath him, "...Please." She added in a defeated whimper.
She could hear Reiner laughing as he got off of her, clearly quite satisfied with himself. Priscilla was as red as a tomato with utter embarrassment, she hadn't felt this stupid in a long time. This humiliation didn't discourage her entirely though, in fact it made her want to be better. Better than anyone else. That way, maybe Reiner would notice her as more than just a friend or comrade.
"We're gonna do this every night," Reiner spoke after a silence, "Every night until you can consistently beat me."
"Hey..." Reiner said breathlessly after another intense training session. They'd been doing this every night for months at this point.
"Hmm?" Priscilla replied, equally as out of breath. They were so exhausted that they were plopped down flat on their backs next to each other on the ground.
"What do you look for in a guy?"
"Eh?!" She shrieked, sitting up fast and stiff, "Where... where did that come from?!"
"I get the feeling you'd want to settle down one day, maybe pop out a few kids. Once we slaughter all the Titans, of course. So I can't help but wonder..."
"I uh, I haven't thought about it..." She lied.
"Not even a vague idea?"
Priscilla grunted and crossed her arms tightly, topping it all off with a frown. She very much wanted to scream that her ideal man was him, that she'd love to spend her whole life with him, but something held her back. So, she decided to do her best to answer him without being too obvious.
"Well.. he'd have to be strong. Mentally and physically. Brave. Handsome, of course. Kind. Good sense of humor would be nice too. Tall is very good as well..." She rattled off a few generic traits that also happened to apply to Reiner, "He must also be dedicated and loyal. No liars either. I wouldn't want any secrets between us."
"Sounds like you got high standards for men." Reiner quipped, "I doubt there's a guy who can live up to all those things."
What a fucking idiot he is... She thought.
"I'll try not to get my hopes up then," She stated rather flatly. Priscilla then decided to shift the subject off to her, laying back down and rolling over to face Reiner and giving him a playful poke in the ribs, "Your turn!"
"Eh?" He asked, turning his head towards her.
"Tell me about your dream girl." She clarified, annoyed a bit.
Reiner laughed softly. Priscilla held her breath as she prepared to see if she fit his criteria or not. She wasn't sure what she'd do or say if she fit the bill, but she hoped to God she did.
"That's easy." He began with an air of confidence and certainty, "I want to marry Christa."
He kept his eyes focused skyward, but Priscilla quickly rolled away from him onto her other side. Her confidence was smashed into millions of pieces yet again, but this was far worse than just having her ass kicked in a little sparring match. In no way could she compare to Christa at all – every last Cadet referred to her as a benevolent Goddess, something Priscilla definitely was not. Hell, she was quite fond of Christa too, she was the one who helped Priscilla when she had trouble with their horse training. Priscilla could remember vividly how her horse was uncooperative and ended up throwing her from it's back, and Christa was the only one who was able to calm it enough for Priscilla to be able to ride it. Reiner knowing exactly WHO he wanted was far more soul crushing than if he described the qualities of a girl that she was nothing like. This just squashed all chances she had in her mind. She doubted she would be able to stop vying for his attention though, even if now it was in vain, which made her feel truly pathetic. Reiner noticed she had turned away, so he rolled over to face her with a curiously cocked eyebrow.
"Something the matter?" He asked, raising a hand and giving her a light shake on the shoulder.
"Just tired. Tired is all." She lied, "And uh, my head's starting to ache a bit. I should go."
Heartbreak felt like an over dramatic way to describe the situation, but Priscilla was far beyond just crushed knowing that her chances were officially zero. She and Reiner both had their ideal partner set in stone, but unfortunately for Priscilla, things didn't match up the way she had hoped. She officially had confirmation that they weren't compatible. She rose to her feet and began to shuffle away, her limbs moving rather limply as if her physical being had been beaten down as well. Reiner propped himself up on his elbow and watched her meander away, curious about her sudden shift in demeanor. Suddenly, Priscilla came to a halt and looked over her shoulder at Reiner.
"It's..." She began, with a forced smile, "It's good that you know what you want. I hope you can get it."
"Oh me, oh my..."
Reiner's eyes shot open to see Priscilla leaning over him. He could tell right away that something was amiss – they weren't in his bed or any building at all for that matter, but there was nothing that indicated they were outdoors either. It was a vast white void surrounding them in all directions. Reiner was laid flat on his back while she was sitting on his pelvis – both of them nude. His eyes were locked on her face, which bore an expression of both lust and a touch of sinister delight. The way they were positioned plus the way he could feel her body was suggestive enough of what was happening here.
"How amusing. You want to marry Christa, but I'm the star of your dirty dreams? What a greedy boy you are."
"Nnghh..." Reiner grunted, "I can't help it."
"Am I supposed to believe you don't think about this in your waking hours?" She replied smugly, "Our dreams reflect our subconscious thoughts, fears... and desires."
The pale nymph leaned in closer, her breasts laying against his own chest as she sensually nuzzled her face into his strong neck. Priscilla dotted kisses up and down his neck and eventually progressed to gentle bites. Reiner closed his eyes and gritted his teeth – even though it was a dream, her body enveloping his cock felt incredibly real. His hands traveled to her strong yet soft thighs and massaged them, causing her to dig her nails into his chest and moan. Priscilla raised her head up, placing her lips right next to Reiner's ear.
"You're gonna have to make a decision, darling... You can't have it all," She whispered, "Marry the good girl but keep me as your whore? I don't think so..."
Reiner grabbed Priscilla by the arm and yanked her away, meeting her eye to eye.
"Don't talk like that." He said with a dead serious tone, "You're not a whore, you're far from it. Much more than that to me."
"Hm." Priscilla hummed, her eyes drifting away from his gaze, "If that's true you should really let me know. Before it's too late."
"It's not... that simple..."
Reiner woke with a start, breathing fast and heavy. He didn't have to look to tell his cock was rock hard, he could feel it throbbing beneath his sheets. He sat up to confirm that he was alone and looked around, everyone else in his barracks seemed to have gotten up and left already, which left him in a perfect position to jerk off. His hand couldn't compare to the hot, wet hole he had experienced in his dreams on more than one occasion, but it would have to do...