AN: Here we are, another chapter here.
I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
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"Daryl you can't just—well, you can't just tell people 'fuck you' whenever it comes to mind," Carol said.
Her voice was unusually soft and not scolding at all. Her expression, too, was soft and she was smiling just a little. She'd asked Beth to watch Sophia for a few moments and she'd taken Daryl to their cell. Now they were sitting on the bed, facing each other, while she brushed his hair out of his face and lectured him gently on what he could and couldn't say to people.
Lori hadn't wasted any time at all in finding Carol.
But Carol didn't seem angry at all. She hadn't even seemed angry when she'd found him down by horse pasture, pretending to be thinking about improvements that could be made or whatever else he'd offer someone if they asked what he was doing. She hadn't asked him what he was doing. She'd simply slipped her hand into his and tugged him gently behind her and back to the prison. She'd taken him directly to their cell after asking Beth if she was sure that she was fine with Sophia—and the girl had insisted she was.
"I didn't mean to say it," Daryl said. "Slipped out."
"And did the rest of it slip out?" Carol asked. She raised her eyebrows at Daryl. "She didn't tell me what you said, but she did say that it was rude and hurtful."
"Fuck her," Daryl said. "And I mean that. I don't need her tattlin' on my ass an' tryin' to make you pissed at me."
"I'm not pissed at you," Carol said.
"I told her to take whatever the fuck she wanted off the truck," Daryl said. "Said you'd get her damned leftovers like you always do. Said I'd look for more stuff later. It mighta not been nice to say it, but the only damned reason that it hurt her feelings is 'cause she knowed I was tellin' the truth. She's been takin' shit first since the beginning. It's always the best for Lori and the dregs for everybody else. Even took food outta your mouth at too many meals."
"I always offered her food when she was pregnant," Carol said. "It's the right thing to do. She was—becoming a mother again. She was eating for two. She needed more than a regular helping."
"An' you was nursin' Soph," Daryl said. "But weren't nobody offerin' you enough to feed you an' her besides." He felt his muscles bunch and tense at the memory of some of the time they'd spent travelling and living under some pretty meagre conditions. "Come to think of it, I don't see nobody offerin' you shit now. An' you every bit as pregnant as she was."
"We have enough to eat, Daryl," Carol said. "Nobody has to go without for me to eat."
"You best be eatin' your fill," Daryl said. "Don't'cha be worryin' about no rations or nothin' like that. You get what'cha need. I found most them damn seeds—cans—even hunt the meat. You don't let nobody tell you—an' I mean nobody—that'cha can't eat what'cha want."
"Shhh," Carol hissed softly, running her fingers through Daryl's hair. He closed his eyes to the sensation of her touch and the tug of her fingers catching a tangle here or there. "There's no reason to be upset. I'm eating, Daryl. Nobody's asked me to be hungry. I'm fine. I'm eating. Sophia's eating. There's no reason to be upset."
If it had been anyone else, Daryl might have been offended by their efforts to soothe him, but he enjoyed when Carol soothed him because he never felt that she was patronizing him. Carol cared for him and that was all there was to it. Her efforts to soothe him were no different than his efforts to soothe her when such a thing was necessary.
Daryl drank up the affection. He savored it. He always had. He was lucky that Carol offered it in such abundance.
"She ain't told you why I said what I did," Daryl said.
"She said that—she mentioned the fact that the pregnancy might fail, Daryl," Carol said. "That I might—lose the baby."
Daryl opened his eyes to her. Her brow was furrowed, now, but her expression was still soft.
"You won't," Daryl said.
"I might," Carol said. "It's just—nature. Sometimes it happens. It happened to me before. Before Sophia. I barely even knew I was pregnant before I just—wasn't." Carol shrugged her shoulders at him. "I was sad—a little bit. But, honestly, I'd known about it so little time that it didn't even feel really real."
"It's real this time," Daryl said.
"It's real," Carol said. "And I would be heartbroken if I were to lose this baby, but I can't promise you that I won't fail you."
Daryl reached up and caught Carol's hand with his. He shook his head at her.
"Don't say that," Daryl said. "I don't like it. I don't want'cha to lose the baby, but if you did? You ain't failed me. You said yourself it's just somethin' that happens."
Carol made a face, almost like she might cry, but she didn't cry. She twisted up her lips, got control of her expression, and then nodded her head quickly. She blew out her breath, though, making it clear to Daryl that she was teetering on the edge of being upset.
"This whole subject's done gone an' got you upset," Daryl said.
"I don't want to lose our baby," Carol said. She shrugged her shoulders and somewhat laughed to herself like her emotions amused her. A large dragon tear welled up in Carol's eye and she blinked it out. It rolled down her cheek and before she could reach to wipe it away, Daryl reached to wipe it away.
"I don't want'cha to neither," Daryl said. "But we got no reason to think you will, do we? I mean—it's possible but there ain't no reason to think...to think it's gonna happen. Is there? There somethin' you ain't tellin' me?"
Carol shook her head and a few more of the large drops of water rolled down her cheeks. Daryl caught them with is hands as quickly as he could. He leaned and kissed her forehead. When he pulled away, she was half-smiling with her eyes closed.
"No," she breathed out. "No—there's nothing I'm not telling you. Hershel says I'm in good health. There's no reason to believe that the baby wouldn't be. Everything looks good. Just like he said it should."
"So why you so worried?" Daryl asked.
Carol laughed to herself and pawed at her eyes. She sniffed and Daryl found a handkerchief that he offered her. She blew her nose and thanked him as she wiped at her nose.
"I guess it's just hormones," Carol said. "I hadn't thought about it. I hadn't worried about it until now. I guess the same reason it made you mad. I just don't want to imagine it. I want this for us."
"Then we gonna have it," Daryl said. "I'm serious, Carol. Even if somethin' was just to happen then there's next time an' that's all there is to it. I want it. You want it. We gonna have it."
Carol swallowed against her emotions, but it was clear that she was feeling better. The hint of a smile on her lips was more sincere and her eyes weren't producing more dampness for her cheeks. She nodded her head.
"We're going to have it," she echoed. "It feels—right. The timing feels right. Everything feels good and right."
"It's good an' right," Daryl echoed.
"But you can't tell Lori 'fuck you' whenever you feel like it," Carol said. "You just can't. You'll have to apologize."
Daryl laughed to himself.
"Now I know them hormones got you drunk or high or some shit," Daryl said. "I ain't apologizin' to Lori Grimes. No way an' no how. Maybe it weren't nice to say what I said, but I meant what I said. Fuck her. It was me an' T that went to find that shit. Rick wouldn'ta gone lookin' for it. I found what I found for you. T did too. We was thinkin' of you an' then I went out there to try to ask her to help me do somethin' nice an' she's all worried about how soon she's gonna get in there an' get whatever the hell she wants—long 'fore you get it any of it. An' then she's tellin' me about how...about how...well, you know what she was sayin'."
"What did you want from her, Daryl?" Carol asked.
Daryl frowned at her.
"I wanted it to be a surprise, but it's pretty damn clear that it ain't gonna happen now anyway," Daryl said. "I wanted you to have one of them party things. Where we give you the stuff off the truck but it's like presents for you an' the baby."
"A baby shower?" Carol asked.
Daryl shrugged his shoulders.
Carol laughed to herself.
"That's not really how a baby shower works," Carol said. "It used to be where everyone bought gifts for the baby."
"I was gonna give everyone somethin' to give," Daryl offered.
"And Lori wouldn't help?" Carol asked.
"She said it was too early. Said you don't do it for a woman who was just as pregnant as you were 'cause you might not be pregnant and then it was` just a waste."
"She said that?" Carol asked.
"In her own damn way, she did," Daryl said.
Carol leaned up and kissed him. She pressed her lips to his and Daryl came after her seeking a real kiss. A good kiss. She gave him that. The kiss she offered was good enough that he thought about pushing her back on the bed right then to take advantage of a few moments without Sophia needing things from them. He didn't do it, though. Instead, he simply urged her to let him enjoy the kiss for a few moments longer before they broke apart.
"I want you to know that I appreciate the fact that you wanted to throw me a baby shower more than I could ever appreciate any real baby shower," Carol said. "It's perfect."
"It ain't real," Daryl said.
"I can see it in my mind," Carol said. "And I can feel the love behind it in my heart. It's as real to me as anything else. And I love it. And I love you for doing it."
Daryl's stomach twisted a little and his chest tightened.
"I want'cha to have it," he said. "She ain't got no right to tell me that'cha can't. I found the damned stuff. It was me an' T that risked our necks out there gettin' it. She can't say shit about it."
Carol shushed him again. She smiled at him.
"Maybe you could give me some of the things? The ones that you most wanted me to have?" Carol asked. "Just because Lori wouldn't help you, doesn't mean you can't do it. I can help you."
"I wanted it to be a surprise," Daryl said. "Now it ain't gonna be that."
"Showers never were," Carol said. "At least not that I know of. I never had one with Sophia. It doesn't have to be a surprise. I'll help you. Beth. Maggie."
"She said you can't have it early," Daryl said.
"I think we can have it whenever you want," Carol said. "And—if I were to lose the baby? We'd have the things for the next time, right?"
Daryl swallowed and nodded.
"Right," he said.
"And we could let Lori have what she needs and everyone's happy," Carol said.
"She don't get first pick," Daryl said. "There's shit in there that I picked out special. I'ma be damned if she gets first pick of the whole damned truck."
Carol nodded her head.
"Then you get what you want," Carol said. "And she can have first pick of what's left."
"You mad at me?" Daryl asked.
"No," Carol said. "And I love you very, very much. And—I appreciate the surprise of your baby shower, Daryl. It's wonderful."
"Ain't happened yet," Daryl said.
"It doesn't matter," Carol said. "It's the best baby shower that I could ever have. It makes me very happy."
Daryl couldn't help but smile at her. She was quite sincere.
"You gonna like some of the stuff I got," Daryl said. "If Lori ain't already got her mitts on it."
Carol laughed to herself.
"Then you better go and make sure you get it first," Carol said. "But—Daryl—if she's out there, try to be nice, OK? And don't tell her 'fuck you' anymore?"
Daryl laughed to himself.
"Not if she don't give me reason to," he said. "But—Carol—I ain't apologizin' an' I'm holdin' firm on that one."
Carol sighed.
"Very well," she said. "Go—get your stuff."
"Gimme a kiss to take with me?" Daryl asked.
Carol put on the face like she was going to teasingly refuse him, but of course she didn't. She kissed him again and Daryl gave her a second kiss after she pulled away before he got up and let himself out the cell to go and collect, off the back of the truck, all the things that he was determined were his to do with what he pleased and nobody else's.