A/N: at it again with the 'test the waters for rewrite' and 'I just need and deserve this' flashbacks ayo whaddupp! Given that these flashbacks are test runs for the rewrite, I admit there probably would be minor retcons, nothing plot relevant, but just relationship development as that will have a lengthier focus in the rewrite. And... who doesn't want to see the couple being cute and shit? I'm also testing pacing things because well, this is a first draft and I have trouble figuring out where to put certain info. The plot right now is a bit of a downer (to put it lightly), we need something to uplift our spirits. Also, me bringing up something regarding timelines is not a mistake, AOT's timeline of historical events always really bothered me so y'know me just cleaning up his mess (and it's also necessary for the story elements I introduced). And a potential geographical thing I needed to change for reasons. I have to make changes to suit things for now and the future. Basically, get fucked Isayama. Also, watched the latest anime episode, apparently Willy's sister's name is Lara which I never found anywhere until the episode's mid-way info card. Great, I'll have to go back and edit that chapter.
Chapter 34: History Lost To Time
"So," Reiner began, "You getting used to doing sprints yet?"
A loud, exaggerated groan could be heard from an unseen source in the shower stall next to him. He looked down and could just barely see Priscilla's foot in the space there was between the separator and the floor, so he edged his own towards hers and gave it a nudge as a more polite way of checking on her than peeping in on her.
"You alright down there?" He asked, unable to contain a slight chuckle.
"My leegsssss..." Came her over-dramatic voice again from below, "They feel so sooooore..."
"You're building more leg muscle, that's a good thing. You'll get used to it."
As usual, whether she needed it or not, Reiner had carried her like he always did away from the training grounds to the showers. Once she got undressed and got the water running on her, she had collapsed to the ground and huddled up in the corner of the stall in a pitiful state as she recovered. The more they sprinted, the less he went easy on her by slowing his pace to match hers – even though he much preferred to be running by her side. He would still slow down for her, but he was getting less and less generous with it, but once she was reaching the peak of her exhaustion he would feel guilty if he kept trying to encourage pushing herself beyond that point – he would never want her to get sick or otherwise legitimately hurt herself from overexertion.
From the stall next to him, he heard a bit of tiny splashing noises and soon Priscilla's head emerged above the barricade between them, finally finding the willpower to stand up again.
"What good is more muscle going to do me now, though?" She asked as she grabbed the soap and started to lather up, "The decisions have been made. We're just waiting on the fancy ceremony for the rankings to be officially announced."
"More strength and endurance will only help you when you're out on a field of battle," Reiner reminded her. He had already soaped up while she was busy sitting on the ground and was rinsing himself off by now. Despite what he said, Reiner could still see she had a bit of a sour face, even just from seeing her in profile.
"Yeah but," She began, the doubt in her voice growing worse. Her observations about herself normally didn't come off in this tone, she would almost always find some humor in it, but tonight something was different about the way she was seeing herself, "That's just more weight on me. My center of gravity already isn't ideal for the ODM gear. So whether it's just my dumb fat ass or muscle around it, I won't be getting any better with the maneuvering equipment. If anything, it'll be harder."
Her head lolled forward and collided with the front wall of the stall with a soft, and somehow sad sounding, thunk. Reiner watched the girl's shriveling self confidence and internally began to panic – things went well, she was probably getting stronger, yet she couldn't help but perceive them as negatives in her situation. On top of that, he couldn't help but see his younger self in her during his Warrior training; Reiner was the weak link, try as he might, he couldn't compete with the others in terms of fighting, intelligence or marksmanship. His "success" as a Warrior came from a dishonest place, something he didn't exactly feel great about. Reiner couldn't go telling Priss this personal anecdote though since he was easily the best in their class and if he mentioned being the worst in any type of training, the story that she knew about his life at that point simply wouldn't line up given they'd been in the same training together here since the start.
What was a man to do? His brain raced to try and find words of reassurance that would pierce through her own self defeating armor – she was self aware to a fault and he had to figure out how to make her feel better. Soon enough, his mind conjured words to throw at her, and before he even had a chance to consider whether it was a good thing to say he had rushed to the stall divider between them, firmly grasping the top. His body slamming against it promptly got the attention of Priss, who raised her head up and whipped it over to him in shock.
"For what it's worth!" He shouted with all the conviction he had in him, "I think you have a great ass!"
His words echoed into the night and the wide emerald eyes of Priss stared at him with a wondrous expression as what he said played back in his head. The more he thought it over, the worse it came off. Reiner didn't just say it either, he loudly proclaimed his fondness for her body like a knight swearing fealty to a higher power.
"I, I uh..." He stammered, backing away from the divider between them, eventually bumping his back into the one on the other side. He was so worried that he just fucked up so unbelievably hard that he didn't notice her lips gradually curling into a smile, "I better go."
"Hey, waaaait!" She called out as he made a mad dash out of the shower to get dressed and get as far away as possible so he could ruminate over his stupidity by himself. However, she wouldn't let him off the hook so easily.
Priss too ran out, but ignored slowing herself down to get dressed or even turn off her shower, so she could grab him by the hand before he had any chance to escape. He winced when she caught him and a drop of sweat ran down the side of his face.
"I'm sorry!" He apologized, not even turning around to say it to her face.
"Why are you saying sorry?" She asked sincerely, "That was a pretty nice compliment."
"It's just..." He looked over his shoulder, shame heavily present in his eyes, "That's not something a decent guy says to a lady. It's not right."
She laughed lightly and made her way closer to him, still maintaining a soft hold on his hand, leading him to straighten out and turn so they faced each other.
"First off, you're way more than just a decent guy," She said, then her eyes and voice dipped into something more devilish and seductive after she had made her sincere appeal, "And I don't think I'm really all that ladylike anyway. So, when you really look at the facts, you didn't actually say anything wrong."
Reiner scoffed, thoroughly amused with her twisting leaps of logic to justify his crass comment about her, "I'll tell ya one thing, your perspective is really something else sometimes."
Both of them shared a laugh, which thankfully lead to the tense mood lifting – although the only one who had been feeling tension was Reiner, so it was entirely one sided. However, his comment got the gears in the pretty little head of Priscilla's turning, "So... you got anything else?" She asked and then softly bit her lower lip.
Reiner raised an eyebrow, "Huh? Any-what else?"
"More things like that to say about me," She said, "You sounded pretty damn serious, so I have to wonder what other things you might be thinking..."
Even on that cloudy night, it was still shockingly clear how red with embarrassment Reiner had just gotten over being called out, though in a good way, for his previous comment.. He thought they would just move past it but no, she was encouraging Reiner to speak his mind more after he let that one thing spill out.
"I..." He spoke, "I wouldn't know where to start."
Priss let out a single breathy laugh and reassured him, "Hey, you already hit the ground running."
"Yeah, but that's not really where I wanted to begin. It just kind of came out in the heat of the moment," He maintained, and then put it into the context of how they mythologize their relationship, "That's not how a hero would speak to his princess, is it?"
"Well true, true..." She admitted, "But nobody is perfect."
Another impulse to exclaim his truth boiled within him, but this time the words got stuck in his throat. Face to face and in a much more meaningful moment than before; he wanted so terribly to tell her 'except for you.' Was this the time or place to make that known to her? Was any time the right time? It felt just shy of flat out saying he loves her, and even edging slightly closer to uttering those words was dangerous in his mind. Thankfully, she went on and filled the empty air that tempted to speak and risk letting all of his true feelings come bursting out.
She rested her other hand on top of his that she was already holding, "Well, I take that back. I think you're pretty perfect, Reiner." Her eyes stayed fixed on their hands with a peaceful smile on her face, "Guess I screw up with words sometimes too, huh? And since you said 'for what it's worth'... well, what you said is worth a lot actually, more than what others have to say. So, thanks for making me feel better."
Reiner tried to find the right words, but he was coming up dry again. Priscilla's eyes traveled up to his, meeting his anxious gaze with her serene one. His lips trembled as he struggled to find something to say until he blurted out:
"...What do now?" He clumsily spoke, eliciting a giggle from his companion.
"Well you can go on and head back like you were planning to just now, but I haven't gotten to wash your hair yet," Priss said, "Either way I'll still be here for a bit, still got suds in my hair to rinse out. I think there's some knots I gotta work out too."
"Could you show me?" Reiner abruptly spoke.
"Eh?" Priss raised an eyebrow, "Show you... the knots in my hair?"
"No- er well, kind of. How to work them out properly," He clarified, still a bit clumsy as he recovered from his embarrassing moment, "Then I could do it for you."
Priscilla's brow lowered again and instead her eyes narrowed, still in confusion, as she tilted her head to the side.
"I don't mean to sound rude or anything..." She began, crossing her arms, "But why do you want to do that?"
"Well I mean, you take such good care of me," Reiner explained, "I wanna do more for you!"
"Reiner, don't be silly!" She exclaimed, dropping her arms again and planting them firmly on her hips, then started to rattle off, "You already do plenty. Carrying me around whenever I ask, private extra training, sleep in your bed..."
He lunged forward and grabbed her by the shoulders before she could go on, not aggressively, but just enough to really catch her attention. Reiner really didn't need to desperately grab at her to get her attention, all he had to do was speak up, but he was feeling especially passionate, "But I can and want to do more," He insisted as he stared right into her vivid green eyes that somehow still shone in the dark of the night. His hands slide down from her shoulders, gliding down her arms until he had her hands in his, "You know I'll have your back both on and off the battlefield."
"Wow," she replied with stars in her eyes and a slight blush spreading on her cheeks, but she regained her previous composure after enjoying a brief moment of girlish joy, "Well, I won't shut you down, how could I ever say no to you? Anyway, let's head back to the showers. I'll show you how to work knots out of long hair and then I'll wash yours."
Priss slipped away but she was sure to gracefully grab him by the hand and lead him back to the shower stalls, hers of which was still running. Reiner had to get undressed again after doing a sloppy, quick job of clothing himself while trying to make an awkward getaway. He took notice that she left her stall open with her back to him, a silent invitation for him to join her, so he boldly made his strides forward towards her and shut the door behind him. She had no reaction, which indicated this was exactly what she wanted.
"You ready?" She asked, looking over her shoulder and Reiner nodded, but there was one thing he was still wary of that kept him frozen in place.
"It's just," He began, "I don't want to hurt you, even by accident. I could never forgive myself if I-"
Priss twirled around and pressed her index finger to his lips, "Don't you worry, Reiner. You won't hurt me. I know you could never do that... Now, long hair can get pretty rough with knots..."
"I can imagine," Reiner commented as she turned back around, watching from behind as her fingers searched through her hair to find a tangle. It didn't take long for her to find one, indicated by a little 'aha!' under her breath. However, her hands fell to her sides again and she looked over her shoulder at him again.
"By the waaaaay," She began with a grin, "You've got a great ass too, just so you know."
"Oh, I'm so happy you're here Yeager!"
Zeke had arrived at their usual place of correspondence and immediately noticed how oddly bright and cheery his cohort was, which left him more suspicious than anything else. In the white haired mans hand he held a glass with red liquid in it, and if the bottle on the small table near where Anteros stood was any indication, it was red wine. Zeke was unsure of how to approach this abnormal attitude of Anteros, so all he did was walk towards him without a word; he knew Anteros would eventually fill the silence – the man loved to hear himself talk, and the words he started off the conversation with indicated that he had plenty more to day.
"Any wine for you, Yeager? It's quite good. Willy said it was a good year, but didn't tell me exactly how old," Anteros offered. There had been a second empty glass on the table that Zeke didn't notice until he got closer. The Warchief silently nodded his head, avoiding looking at the pale man, "Splendid."
He put his own glass down and took the bottle to pour some out for Zeke; his generosity was even more dubious. Between Anteros greeting him with welcoming words and being eager to often him some wine, it left him feeling something was off. If the wine was a gift from Willy, or at least something they shared in, Zeke doubted under normal circumstances he'd get a share. While Zeke puts in more 'leg work' for their plan, Anteros sees Willy as the closest thing to a social equal as he can in terms of Eldians. Willy Tybur is also the one who helps behind the scenes with his political sway and financing; even though the Tybur family were Eldians themselves, they had some elevated social status. Zeke though, despite his secret royal blood, was still no more than a filthy dog. A useful working dog, but still a dog.
Yet there he was facing a wine glass filled just for him, a small offering in the grand scheme of things, but still more than he would usually get. So the bespectacled man picked up the glass and took a drink.
"You're right," Zeke said. When he lowered the glass, there was a bit of red stuck to the edge of his unkempt mustache that badly needed a trim, "It's excellent."
Anteros hummed, lightly circling his glass and watching the claret fluid within follow the motion. He stared deeply into it as if hypnotized. Anteros remained silent for a long while, which was a bit strange for him, before he finally spoke up, "You know... I think this is the same brand Willy and I drank when I told him about what really happened in the Great Titan War. Discussing the history of the world over wine, what better time to do it?"
Zeke perked up a bit, curious as to what his 'friend' here was talking about. There were two accounts of the historic Titan War well over 2000 years ago. The mainstream opinion was that Helos, a Marleyan hero, defeated the Eldians and their Titans, sending them fleeing to Paradis Island. However, this was not really the case. There was no great Marleyan hero, but to instill that sort of legend's tale in people was beneficial, and it was so long ago that nobody could remember what was real and what was myth. The ancient King Fritz ended the war on his own, taking some Eldians to Paradis Island while leaving a large population still on the continental mainland, spread out and easily subjugated for the crimes their race committed against the world with their destructive Titan power. King Fritz used the power of the Founding Titan to erase the Paradis Eldian's memories of the war, the outside world – anything that would disturb the peace brought by his renouncing of war. Every royal to carry the Founding Titan would all succumb to the ancient King's will, and would never go to war.
If the Founding Titan were to fall into the hands of someone who wasn't royalty, that was a different story. Such a person wouldn't be bound by the blood of a royal from the ancient days influencing and overriding their thoughts. That was the case now; Zeke's half brother, Eren, was in possession of it. Retrieving it was part of he and his Warrior's main mission on the Island only to end in failure, but Zeke came away with a prize far more valuable despite losing what the Marleyan government desired. But something about the way Anteros spoke implied that the old tales weren't quite true.
"What do you mean?" Zeke finally asked.
"Do you know why the King chose to flee and renounce war?" Anteros asked as his eyes flicked back to Zeke, "My people stepped in. A viable woman was chosen and she was able to use a fragment of divine power to force the King's hand. The Eldians had minded their own business for ages before they decided to try and conquer the world. After the semi-ascended woman instilled the fear of extinction into the Eldian people for their crimes, they ran away with their tails between their legs. She guided them to Paradis Island so my people could keep a watchful eye on them, some of them at least. The frightful memory of the angel of dread who descended from the twilight sky on the land of Ancient Eldia was erased and the King renounced war, that part of the story never changed. The woman died shortly after, for she was not strong enough to partially touch god and live to tell the tale. But before she perished, she placed a seal on the lost, abandoned nation of Eldia...
Something so magical could never even be conceived as true by the world at large. A great amount of Eldians weren't there to witness it, only those present in Eldia at the time. That place is in ruins now, although some say the Great Devil of Earth is still hiding somewhere in that tainted land, but why would anyone want to find out? It is sealed off anyway... Now, your half brother would seek to disturb the peace my people have tried to keep. Honestly, if he ever contacts you I'd suggest you keep in touch. Having intel on their goings on will be beneficial to our plan."
That was the Anteros Zeke knew, the one who would go on monologues. This one, however, did interest Zeke. He was unaware of what this legendary truth actually was, if Anteros was even telling the truth, but what would Anteros gain from lying about something like that? The pieces fit with what he's said about Hyperians being Eldian extinction entities.
"And Priscilla is the one who will be the next one to bring the reckoning to the Eldians..." Zeke murmured.
"Correct," Anteros confirmed before taking a sip of his wine, "But I know she is stronger, stronger than anyone has ever been. She will come out the other side as the new Goddess after ending the life of every last Eldian unlike the old saint... well, except for you of course. I have no reason to go back on my promise to you."
"That I won't be Eldian anymore?" Zeke asked.
"Yes, yes. You'll be cleansed of your beastly nature and become one of us, and you'll have the eternal love and companionship I promised too. She will never leave our side, you will never be alone again."
Zeke took another sip of wine, again staining the edge of his mustache for the time being, as he nodded along with the words of Anteros.
"You know... you never told me exactly how this plan of ours will come to fruition."
"Oh, you're right!" Anteros exclaimed a little too excitedly, then swiftly placed his near-empty glass down on the table before hurrying off to a far corner of the room.
Anteros pulled a red velvet sheet off what Zeke assumed was another small table, but it turned out to be a sturdy metal safe. Anteros made sure that he body blocked Zeke's view as he twisted the knob until it clicked and the door opened. Zeke couldn't see much inside, but there was only one thing in the world Anteros needed to keep heavily locked away. Anteros pulled out the box that he had showed Zeke all those years ago, the box that he taunted his father with before he had Zeke murder him.
"Remember how I called this the key?" Anteros asked, turning and approaching Zeke again, "Well, I suppose it's time you see what this 'key' is."
Anteros stood in front of Zeke and he opened up the box. Inside the velvet lined inner part was a safely nestled bottle filled with something that looked similar to mercury – a shiny, silver fluid of some sort, Zeke highly doubted a bottle full of mercury had any importance to them so that obviously couldn't be what it was. Zeke furrowed his brow, leading Anteros to continue speaking.
"This will be injected into my sister and the way will open."
"Oh," Zeke said, stroking his beard with his free hand. His eyes traveled to meet Anteros' eyes, "So, like injecting it into her spine? Like how it's done with Eldians to transform them into Titans?"
Anteros chuckled darkly and snapped the box shut, "No... not in her spine."
The pale man turned away to go seal away his precious secret once more, not revealing anything further about what the substance was or how it would work. Zeke swore he heard him continue to cackle in a frighteningly sinister way under his breath, only managing to compose himself again once he turned to face him. Zeke had to hand it to him, Anteros was rather shrewd and offered information only after a long while and when he finally deemed it relevant, never a moment sooner which is surely why Anteros omitted details about what the substance was, after all he only said he would show it to Zeke, not explain it. After more than 10 years, Zeke had earned the right to a few crumbs more worth of information; who knows how long he kept Willy waiting to build enough trust in him, which lead Zeke to wonder if Willy even knew as much as Zeke did, or vice versa.
"On the subject of my sister," Anteros began, picking up his wine glass and raising it up to his lips to down what little remained of it in one gulp and then placed it down on the table, "I've been able to capture glimpses of you two together, and I have to say Yeager... you've certainly changed."
Anteros stifled more dark chuckles as he watched Zeke's expression begin to fall; the man, his instinct to do it kicking in out of nervous habit, scratched his opposite ear. He really could use a cigarette right now more than just scratching lightly at himself though.
"I... am just doing the right thing," Zeke answered simply, "Making amends, you could say."
"Don't play dumb with me, Yeager!" Anteros shouted, "She either is too consumed in herself to realize, or she'd rather just ignore it, but your simpering sad behavior isn't going unnoticed by a third party viewer. And I'm not saying I'm especially perceptive to it, I'm pretty sure anyone watching you hopelessly try to impress her would understand it..."
"Understand what?" Zeke asked defensively.
Anteros slammed his fist down on the small table, disturbing the empty glass and wine bottle so much that they both fell to the floor and shattered, "That the beast has fallen in love with the goddess!" The white haired man loudly mocked with an unsettling grin.
Anteros threw his head back and let out the loudest laugh Zeke ever heard from him – like nothing else in the world had ever amused him as much as this. Zeke stood there, humiliated, as Anteros took his sweet time laughing at him and to subsequently catch his breath. The longer Anteros went on, the more Zeke sank into embarrassment, so he just kept his eyes on the ground looking at the red wine stain spreading slowly on the ornate rug that had to be worth a lot of money.
"So, what was it? Was it just time? Or did something happen to make your feelings change so drastically?" Anteros asked, "I know you used to just be a lusty degenerate, who could blame you? But now you covet her for more than that, for love."
"She had been hurt recently," Zeke said flatly, addressing the first question as he raised his head from looking at the stain that was all too reminiscent of blood, "She lost her child."
"Ohh," Anteros cooed curiously, "So that's what the pain from her I sensed was... That's why she's been in such despair... I still have to wonder how that demon child even had a fleeting chance at life."
"The father is only half Eldian," Zeke explained, unsure why he was even offering the knowledge to Anteros – it was just something he was used to doing, "His father was Marleyan."
"Interesting... So, that's what let the little seed sprout, but in the end... the cursed Eldian genes sorted it out it seems."
Zeke looked down at his feet and through gritted teeth repeated bitterly, "'Sorted it out'..." When he closed his eyes he could see the horrified and devastated face of Priss clear as day, and here her brother was making light of it. While Zeke had his head downcast, he didn't initially notice Anteros walk up beside him and lurk menacingly, but also wasn't shaken when he spoke.
"Let me ask you something, Yeager. Do you now have any reservations about what we're working towards? Now that your feelings have changed and you're attached to the being she is now?" Anteros asked. Zeke's eyes went wide but he didn't raise his head. The longer Zeke stayed silent, the closer Anteros leaned in towards him, "She will never love you in this life, but in the lives we make for ourselves in an ascended existence, she won't really have a choice but to love you, to love the both of us.."
Zeke grit his teeth even harder, "No. I won't back out now."
Anteros' lips eased into a calm smile with his eyes following a similar serene shift, "I'm sure you started to feel a camaraderie with her after that initial turning point. You were unloved and used by your parents, my father greedily sought to use her for his own whims and she spent so much of her childhood abandoned and alone... unloved, abused."
"You say your father wanted to use her for something of his own?" Zeke asked, finally raising his head to his comrade, "What exactly was that?"
"He intended for her to be the community breeding sow if it turned out she was fertile," Anteros replied, his expression growing darker, "He focused on reviving our dying race and would happily spread her around to birth new children. One after the other. Until her reproductive viability came to an end and we could only hope her descendants had the same fertility. But I couldn't stand the thought of that, it's just horrible isn't it? ... She is... She is mine. I really can't thank you enough for being the one to kill my sorry excuse for a father."
Zeke finished up his wine and put the glass down on the table; he pondered the nature of what Anteros was doing versus what his father had planned. They both seemed to have the goal of reducing her autonomy for a 'greater good' – but his father didn't seem at all interested in genocide, perhaps because he wanted to extend the period of time their race existed in the event that dealing with Eldians again wouldn't occur until after Priscilla's natural death. Keeping the current population made sense in that way, but for how long could it go on? Anteros wanted to move much faster.
"...Do you know what even caused the infertility?" Zeke asked, something he never dared to bring up before really, "And... when are we going to...err, 'open the gate?'"
Anteros laughed, "The answer to both of those questions is more connected than you'd think, but that is for another time..." Anteros let out a sigh of longing and looked down to the mess he made of the wine, taking a mental note to get Willy's sister to take care of it, and if the wine couldn't be cleaned from it, a new rug would have to be purchased. His head then whipped back up and over to Zeke.
"Go home and get some rest Yeager, you chasing around my sister like a lonely puppy all day must have you drained," He said with mockery and faux-concern, but then shifted into a deathly serious tone, "Enjoy it while it lasts. When all's said and done, she won't exactly be the same as she is now."
Zeke knew questioning his words wouldn't get him anywhere; by now Zeke was well aware he would be told things when Anteros deemed it appropriate, ever the shrewd individual. Zeke turned and started to make his way towards the door, but he felt a hand clap on his shoulder after he barely took a few steps.
"There's one more thing I want you to know, Yeager..." Anteros growled in his ear, "Something I want you to think about every day for the rest of your human life."
It was her first night in the her new home, but it felt far from a comforting place – to Priss, it was just a safe place to exist in, not really a home. She laid in the bed meant for two in the darkness that had fallen on the city hours ago; she had no idea how long she'd been laying there on her back with her eyes fixed on the ceiling, wondering how the hell she could possibly go to sleep like this: Uncomfortable, despairing and, worst of all, alone. Zeke was right about the basic provided furnishings not being ideal: both pillows were more flat than floofy and the blanket was thin and barely covered the length of her body, meaning she had to draw her legs up to make sure her feet were sufficiently covered. The mattress wasn't much either, but that wasn't something she would go and replace so soon – although the idea of taking advantage of Zeke's generosity that he was offering to the maximum degree was a temptation that briefly danced through her head. It would be wrong to exploit his kindness and she damn well knew that.
Priss laid on one side instead of taking up as much space as she could since she was the only one in the bed, but she was used to sharing, and knew one day she would have a partner in bed with her too, so she naturally positioned herself on a specific side. Back in the days of sneaking into Reiner's barracks, she would always sleep on the side against the wall when she'd cuddle up to him after a long day, so she gravitated towards the same side of the bed here. However, it didn't feel 'right' like she thought it would be, that her preference for one bed would transfer to any other. The missing piece was all too obvious as Priscilla's head rolled to look at the empty outer-side of the bed: No Reiner. His presence when in bed was good on it's own, but there was a subconscious feeling of protection from him 'guarding' her open and vulnerable side as she slept.
Now, there was nothing, and there would continue to be no Reiner beside her in bed for the foreseeable future. Her head straightened out so she could go back to staring at the ceiling with her weary eyes. Her mind was going numb as she waited and waited for sleep to take her, but at this point, she accepted the idea that it was possible she wouldn't be sleeping on her first night there. Her sleeping arrangements at Karina's were rough as well, but so much more had piled on in Priscilla's life as time went on, and adjusting to a new place with no form of comfort was truly a pain in the ass too.
Priss shut her eyes tightly and raised a hand to run it through her hair as she murmured, "Guess I gotta... learn to be lonely."