Chapter 11
The unexpected sound of the alarm drums jerked Durog's attention away from the luck chart papers in his hand.
The drums' rhythm seemed unusually frantic to him. They indicated a dragon near the main gate.
He dropped the papers and rushed halfway across his alternate command center, to the peephole looking out the cliff face over the main entrance tunnel.
He hurried so fast the papers had not quite settled to his desk before his eye was at the peephole.
What he saw stunned him.
A particularly huge dragon flew right up next to the main gate, and dropped violently onto the temporary wall forming a water tank around Shelob's corpse. Fragments of the wall shattered and flew outwards, making a cacophony of sound, which was accompanied by a roar from the dragon and the sound of all that water rushing away.
The water swirling around the big dragon's feet was still very hot, but not quite boiling. It didn't seem to bother the dragon at all. That probably meant he was a fire-breather.
Durog was amazed that the dragon was completely unconcerned about its unarmored belly. Most took great care to keep that weak-spot safe, and would never fly near an enemy that had ranged weapons like crossbows, which the dwarves were known to use.
Then the dragon reared up to smash another wall of the ruined tank, and Durog caught a good glimpse of its belly.
It looked like a cobble-stoned road. It was completely covered with a layer of smooth rocks. The various sizes of rocks left no unexposed belly between them.
Someone had probably helped this dragon with that.
Durog had not been idle while thinking this.
His hand was busy beating out messages in mine code on a conveniently-placed bell.
A satisfying answer had come back immediately.
The next time the dragon reared up, Durog sent the "go" signal.
Only a few dozen balls had yet been reloaded into the ball reservoir since the last attack.
But a few dozen was better than nothing.
And the ball reservoir normally could not hit so close to the main entrance tunnel mouth. But this dragon was tall. Very tall - its body and neck each appeared to be about 80 feet long. That would make it a size 10 - the biggest dragon seen in a very long time When it reared up, it's head and neck moved into the path the heavy stone balls would fall through.
"Bad luck" Durog murmured, as only half a dozen balls hit the dragon's head. "It should have been about twice that many, given his position and the distribution pattern."
"Or, he countered," as he frantically beat the bell in mine code, "is it good luck that there was someone manning the lever to the ball reservoir?"
That was the problem he'd been struggling with in his attempts to study luck - most events had both lucky and unlucky aspects, and the more ways you examined them the more such aspects you found.
And this event was no exception - was it lucky that the dragon had not moved at the wrong moment, or unlucky that nothing vital, like one of the dragon's eyes, had been hit. It was both at once.
The 100 pound stone balls had fallen over 500 feet before hitting the dragon, but each didn't seem to bother him any more than a good slap would bother a dwarf.
The hits did upset the dragon though.
It leapt into the sky, and flew up towards the ball reservoir
As it did so, Durog was frantically signaling any dwarves in the area to get out of there.
When he'd sent those, and some other updates and instructions, he hurried across the room to the weapons rack, got three crossbows and ammunition, and returned to his peephole and firing port.
He loaded the crossbows and opened the shutters on the firing port as he listened to others; updates in mine code.
Dwarves in other observation posts reported that the dragon had flown up to the ball reservoir and smashed it, and everything around it that looked like it might hide an enemy.
They had to confirm that three times, since it was common knowledge that even a size 10 dragon did not have the strength to do that.
But they did confirm both its size and that it was smashing solid stone - though always with its tail.
After destroying the ball reservoir the dragon stopped by the trebuchet ledge and smashed everything there too.
Then it power-dove down along the cliff face and hit the 50 foot tall statue of King Thror from the side, toppling it away from the entrance tunnel mouth, and freeing Shelob's mostly-flattened corpse from the weight of the huge stone war-hammer that had rested on it.
The tremendous, ear-splitting crash of sound from that event was again accompanied by a roar from the dragon.
But this time, the dragon spoke as well.
Some older dragons could do that.
The dragon yelled "I am Smaug! I will take all your gold and eat every one of you and there is nothing you puny dwarves can do about it!"
Then it breathed an enormous blast of fire down the main entrance tunnel.
While it was doing so, Durog shot its eye with a Spider-Forged magic bolt from his first crossbow.
The dragon blinked in time and the magic spring-steel bolt just bounced off its armored eyelid.
Other crossbow bolts fired from loopholes around the cliff face were also hitting the dragon.
Durog dropped the spent crossbow and shot twice more, using his other two readied crossbows. He hit the same eyelid, and then inside a nostril.
That seemed to piss the dragon off.
It crouched and turned, sending its tail smashing into the cliff face near Durog. Solid stone broke under that blow as if it was cheap pottery.
Durog sent a quick temporary-retreat message to the dwarves firing from the cliff, then did so himself.
He was just in time.
The dragon's tail smashed through the several feet of solid stone forming the cliff-side wall of the room, as if that stone was paper.
Fragments of shattered rock flew energetically around the room, but hurt no one, since Durog had left, gone into the hallway, and shut the door behind him.
After the sound died down, Durog opened the peephole in the door.
His view through the hallway door was now almost as good as the view from the room had been.
The far wall of the room had been completely smashed.
And the dragon Smaug was busily smashing all the cliff face he could reach with his tail.
Durog estimated that was just over 250 feet.
But while he watched, he saw a very interesting thing.
He judged it worth a quick, and carefully-timed, scramble into the room to retrieve a signal bell.
That brief trip was terrifying, but productive.
When he was comparatively safe back in the hall, Durog started sending messages with the bell.
The dragon had tired of smashing at the cliff face, and had switched to smashing the entrance tunnel, while occasionally yelling various taunts and threats, by the time Durog got a definitive answer.
Durog had seen a war-hammer, sized for a dwarf, firmly tied to the tip of Smaug's tail.
That war-hammer was made all of mithril, in a unique style, with unique runes inlaid into it.
Durog had described those runes.
Sages had confirmed that yes, this was the ancient runic war-hammer named Pyel-Ar, made ages ago, back when dwarven runes were powerful magic indeed.
Pyel-Ar had last been seen in the hands of the mighty dwarf Keterr, as he headed off to destroy the ancient fortress at Dol Guldur. He had vowed to end the continual sequence where evil forces would move back in to the ruined fortress, use it as a base to build up power, and then attack those nearby.
With Pyel-Ar, and its magic Rune of Stone-Breaking, he could knock down all its walls in a few days. And he planned to do just that.
But after arriving at Dol Guldur, he was never heard of again.
The fact that Pyel-Ar had now shown up again, attached to a dragon, in a way that the dragon could never have done himself, suggested that the necromancer was now taking a more active part in arming the minions he sent to get Shelob's corpse back from the dwarves.
"That could be a problem" he murmured, as he ran down the halls to his main command center.
His alternate command center was ruined and he needed to be a part of this fight if they wanted to win it.
Only one positive correlation - a very clear one - had come out of Durog's luck charts so far, and it looked like it might be years before any other correlations became clear at all.
But, as clear as anything could be, was the correlation between effort and events that could be called good luck. The more effort of any kind that Durog invested in something, the more likely he was to have good luck related to that thing. All kind of effort mattered - thinking, planning, designing, building, or just general labor.
So he wasn't going to shirk on effort now - not when they really needed some good luck.
The loud crashing sounds of stone being broken in large amounts occurred regularly as Durog ran.
Durog was already calling for a status report the moment he burst through the open door of his command center.
"We were getting ready to evacuate this room," Skinny replied "The dragon is systematically widening the entrance tunnel by smashing the walls, ceiling, and even the floor, then scooping out the rubble and repeating."
A burst of dragon fire filled the tunnel, and scorched off Durog's eyebrows even though he was still 6 feet from the peephole he'd been headed to.
"Oh yah," Skinny added, "He's been doing that too."
"What have we got left?" Durog asked.
"Nothing in the tunnel," Skinny answered. "The portcullis has jammed. The slam-doors have either been jammed askew in their tracks, or knocked down and then smashed. The bear traps mostly go off when tons of rubble lands on them. Those catch some rubble but nothing more. Some get bent when the dragon's tail smashes the floor. Some fall into the holes opened in the floor when he smashes through into the rooms under there. Basically, everything is getting destroyed before we can use it. We tried with some but they either missed or had already broken. All we have left is the ballistae in the fort at the end of the tunnel, and the main and reserve water reservoirs - he smashed the doors at the main tunnel end of those, but the doors at the other end of the connecting tunnels are intact and out of his reach. So the main reservoir is still full of water and the backup reservoir is still full of spiders. We were debating whether either of those would be any use."
"No," Durog answered simply. "The portcullis is broken and that dragon is too big to be smashed into it by rushing water anyway. And we lost the ability to drown him when we lost the slam-doors. And as for the spiders... Those spiders could not bite through our armor, so they certainly can't bite through Smaug's. Plus they came here under compulsion - whether a command from Shelob or the necromancer is still under debate - but whatever, it is possible that the compulsion would resume and we'd face two enemies at once. Bah, even if it didn't resume, they'd likely fight us, for several reasons..."
"Boss, we haven't got long before this room gets smashed. We've timed his sequence - back in, smash all his tail can reach, scoop out rubble, maybe breathe fire, then repeat - and he'll get to this room in under 2 minutes.," Skinny interjected.
"Right... Ok, Grab those bells, those two maps, and get out fast - Go down the hall at least as far as the break room. Set up the bells there for signaling"
As Durog was speaking he grabbed a handheld bell and then carefully selected two small hourglasses from a rack before leaving. He was the last out of the room, and had not quite made it to the break-room before the command center got smashed.
He arrived and immediately stabbed a finger at a particular place on the map, saying "Signal the King to gather the Mighty Dwarves of Valor here, in the waiting room before the Great Hall. It's going to come down to melee combat. But tell him to wait for my signal - there is one more thing I want to try, and if he values his life he must not charge out before I send that signal."
Durog was so focused on the matter at hand that he didn't even notice that what he'd said could be interpreted as personally threatening the King's life unless the King obeyed Durog's orders.
One bell started sending mine code while Durog turned to the next signaler, standing by a much bigger bell with a distinctly different tone from the first, designed that way so they could be told apart while both were signaling
"You," he said, "signal team 4 and tell them to ready ramps 1, 4, 7, and 8 and aim at the entrance tunnel - where it would enter the Great Hall if the tunnel continued thru. They'll need two extra chains to support ramp 8 like that. Have them send folks to open the doors to the connecting rooms to make a path as if the main tunnel continues straight into the Great Hall. And tell them to have the kitchen send them as much bacon grease as possible in the time available."
"Bacon grease?" Skinny asked, as the second signaler started banging out mine code.
"There is nothing at all that bacon doesn't improve" Durog said, completely deadpan.
While the other dwarves were trying to decide what to make of that statement, he continued, "When the important messages are sent, tell the King he may actually get to use those silly ceramic cases he had made."
The tunnel behind them lit up, as dragon fire went down the newly-widened main entrance tunnel.
"That's my signal," Durog said. "I have to go spot so we can get the timing right. I'll do my best to avoid getting noticed, but if I die, it's on you, Durathror Sword-Shaver, here's the plan. Explain it to the guys here so they can send it out to everyone, then designate another spotter and go join the King's party. They will need you."
Durog spent a moment speaking rapidly to Skinny, then they clasped hands, and went their separate ways.
Durog took a bell with him to the ruins of the command center, so he could send updates.
He peeked around the last corner, decided the view here was good enough, sent a quick status update and settled in to wait.
While he waited, he reviewed his plan, looking for ways to improve it.
The main entrance tunnel had a fort at its inner end. Beyond that fort, were the Old Tunnels - the tunnels dug before King Thror had re-colonized Lonely Mountain. Those tunnels had been dug to impress, and so they were big enough that this dragon could fit into them. Not far from the fort, the Old Tunnels led to the huge, cavernous Great Hall, where the King still had his throne room. The short distance of big tunnel between the fort and the great hall had partly been converted to spacious rooms by the simple expedient of adding large doors. But with those opened, there would effectively be one very short, but wide and tall tunnel between the fort and the Great Hall.
That fort would get smashed just like the rest of the entrance tunnel. It's two ballistae would try to hurt the dragon, but likely fail.
The dragon was smashing every surface of the whole entrance tunnel, even though it could have fit partway in without that.
Durog could think of 3 reasons why the dragon was being so careful to smash everything, when just the ceiling and one wall, for example, would have been enough to let it fit.
It may be general-principles carefulness, after having heard that other dragons had come here and probably died, since they had not left again.
It may be that the necromancer had learned, somehow, of the dwarves' defenses and warned the dragon.
Or it may be claustrophobia - it wanted lots of room and didn't like feeling trapped in small spaces.
If the necromancer had warned it of the dwarves defenses, then it had no reason to keep smashing things after the fort, since the old tunnel rooms had no such defenses yet.
If it was claustrophobic, it would have no reason to keep smashing after the fort, since the tunnels there opened wide already.
And if it was smashing on generally cautious principles, that impulse would have to fight for the dragon's attention when it saw, a short distance before it, King Thror's golden throne in the Great Hall.
Gold has a very powerful affect on dragons.
So Durog expected that after the fort was destroyed, the dragon would likely stop smashing things with its tail, and would turn around and come in headfirst, eager to let the killing and looting begin in earnest.
Durog's order to deploy and align certain ramps in his last-ditch emergency Throne Room Defense System would give him a shot - well, 3 shots, since the 4th wasn't quite ready yet - at hurting the dragon before the melee dwarves charged it.
And those melee dwarves would need every bit of help they could get.
The gigantic beast's tail scooped out one more load of rubble - which Durog could see it was careful to move to the side of Shelob's squashed corpse, so as not to cover or further damage that corpse, then it withdrew.
Durog held his breath, removed his helmet so it wouldn't give him away by glinting in the light, and squeezed behind his corner, so only his eyes were past it.
He saw the enormous beast's head and neck go past, towards the fort it had already smashed. It moved cautiously forwards, then stiffened suddenly.
Durog imagined that meant it had caught sight of the golden throne.
That speculation was partially confirmed when the whole dragon suddenly surged forwards, down the tunnel towards the Great Hall.
Durog had run the math three times in his head and knew the best time to send the go signal was when Smaug's clavicle passed Durog's position.
But still it was hard to wait.
Every instinct screamed at him to flee, or at best to fire and flee.
But he was a dwarf, and they are good at being stubborn.
He waited for the best moment, and gave the signal, ringing as hard and clear as he could on his bell.
The dwarves in the break-room immediately heard it and relayed it.
Durog knew they would also have immediately started the hourglass Durog had given them, and that Skinny, waiting with the King, would have started his as well. When that hourglass ran down, the melee dwarves would charge, and not before.
The break-room dwarves would signal when the hourglass ran down, but that was a backup for Skinny, and Durog knew Skinny would not fail.
Compared to the noise the dragon was making, the sound of the launch was imperceptible.
Durog then set down his bell, and took up a rope to let himself down into the main tunnel.
His spike-hammer, now that it was Spider-Forged, would have allowed him to just walk down the vertical tunnel wall, but he was still uncomfortable doing that. Walking on walls and ceilings just felt wrong. Plus, he reassured himself, the tunnel wall had just been smashed up pretty good, so if he walked on it the 'footing' might suddenly give-way. But he knew he could count on the rope to get him safely down and back into the fight.
His tricks were spent, and whether this last one worked or not, this fight would likely end in melee combat, which he would not shirk. Besides, from this angle he had a chance to take away the ancient Runic weapon strapped to the beast's tail. With that gone, it would be possible to fall back and continue the fight in some of the newer architecture beyond the Old Tunnels.
Elsewhere...
In the Great Hall, 4 long and wide metal strips, which had appeared to be part of the ceiling decorations, had detached from the ceiling and had been lowered a certain amount on chains. When that process was done, they formed a continuous ramp. It started at a hole in the ceiling whose covering had also just been removed, then ran to the back of the room furthest from the main entrance tunnel, curved gradually around the back wall, and then aimed at the main entrance tunnel.
The metal strips had raised sides, forming them into troughs.
When Durog signaled, a steel ball six feet in diameter, rolled out of the hole, and accelerated down the sloping ramp, held 'in the groove' by its trough-like sides.
The ball flew off the end of the ramp, arcing across the Great Hall and into the entrance tunnel, where it bounced twice before smacking hard into Smaug's forehead before ricocheting down the tunnel.
Smaug was stunned, but still reflexively opened his mouth to breathe fire.
So the second ball hit his open jaw, and broke the joint, locking the jaw open, before it careened down the tunnel like the first.
The third six foot steel ball flew right down Smaug's throat, breaking off a couple teeth on the way, and lodged deep inside the dragon's neck.
And the fourth steel ball, red-hot and covered in flames, did likewise.
There were supposed to be only 3 of the balls. The fourth had just recently been cast and had not finished cooling yet. It was still red-hot and somewhat soft. But the dwarves in station 4 had checked the math Durog had hurriedly done, and had determined that the bacon grease coating ball one - applied both for faster travel, and to give the dragon, indeed, any monster, an enticing smell to investigate so it would be more likely to hit his head - would speed up ball travel times enough that all four balls could be safely fired in the time before the hourglasses ran down. So they had launched all four, figuring this would be their only chance and they wanted to maximize it.
Ball one had left bacon grease smeared along the ramps, which the other balls had picked up and ball four had ignited.
So when the hourglass in Skinny's upheld hand ran out and King Thror threw open the door to the lounge to charge, he saw the 4th ball, red-hot and flaming, still just a few feet past the door as it sped towards the dragon.
The 4th ball wasn't the only thing emitting smoke - thin wisps of it came from flat cases along the King's calves and forearms.
King Thror and his party charged - as many mighty dwarves as could fit in that room - right behind the 4th ball, as fast as they could.
Other rooms opened and dwarves charged from those too.
This would be their best chance - to hit the dragon while it was still dealing with whatever the balls could do to it, and while it was as constrained by the architecture as it was going to be.
They were all positively festooned with magic weapons.
In order to get there in time to make maximum use of the ball-assault, the dwarves had had to charge the moment the balls had passed them.
So they did not know the exact situation they were charging into.
It was expected that Smaug would probably breathe a blast of fire, so the first group were all expecting to die that way. But King Thror had insisted on leading them anyway.
And breathe fire was exactly what Smaug did.
Or tried to do.
It didn't work the way it usually did.
There were two huge steel balls - the red-hot one now fused by impact to the other one - completely jamming his windpipe.
So the flammable gasses built up inside him and ignited as usual, but when they detonated, they had nowhere to go - the balls blocked the usual outlet.
From outside, Smaug's midsection seemed to balloon up briefly, then sag. His eyes crossed and smoke seeped out from under his tail.
His head sagged to the ground as the dwarves, screaming their battle-cries, swarmed out of the tunnel before him and started hacking at him for all they were worth.
The first dwarves went for the vital spots, knowing that the dragon may just be momentarily stunned and wanting to make sure to use that time to best effect and keep him disabled as long as possible.
Some attacked weak-spots like eyes, ears, or nostrils, even climbing or leaping on top of the head to do so.
Others went to hamstring the beast by cutting at the limb or wing joints.
Skinny, followed by several more, jumped up onto the beasts neck and started chopping away to get at and sever the spine.
Those with Spider-Forged weapons could jump very well, and some of them - those forged in larger spiders - could climb very well: even walk straight up vertical walls. Spider-forged weapons also made the wielder more agile, and a bit stronger, but mainly they paralyzed the creature they hit - or part of it if it was very large. Enough paralyzing hits would even paralyze the heart and lungs, killing the target.
Even dazed, constrained by the architecture, and with a few - though increasing - small areas of his body paralyzed, Smaug shook and wiggled to get the dwarves off him and away from him.
But for every dwarf shaken off, several more dwarves arrived to replace them.
And the dwarves who had been flung away were returning to the fight - it had been suspected, and was now being confirmed, that Dragon-Forged and Troll-Forged weapons both made their weilders tougher, or more durable, in slightly different ways.
Soon dwarves were hacking at every available part of the dragon.
While all this was going on, the King was trying to get eaten - in a way.
Smaug's mouth was jammed open, and the King wanted to get inside, where some really telling blows could be dealt.
But Smaug's tongue, as wide around as an ox and as long as a tree, kept shoving him out.
Smaug's tongue also tried lashing back and forth to try to sweep up several dwarves and crush them - it was certainly strong enough to do so.
Dwarves carrying Spider-Forged weapons leapt over the tongue, as it passed by again and again.
It was later said that this led to the invention of the children's game "jump rope".
When they could, the king, joined by other dwarves, hacked at Smaug's tongue, and they did damage. But it didn't really stop fighting back until it had been paralyzed all along its length by Spider-Forged weapons, including several throwing-knives thrown at parts which were out of reach.
Then King Thror, uttering another loud war-cry, scrambled into Smaug's mouth, moved to a position he was well-familiar with from studying his various taxidermied dragons, and stabbed his Triple-Forged magic spear straight upwards with all his enhanced might.
The spear entered Smaug's brain, and King Thror wiggled it around in there for maximum damage.
While he was doing so, Thror did take a moment to free one hand from the spear to yank a cord at his belt.
When the cord was yanked, red-hot blades suitable for daggers or spear heads were propelled by springs through the end plugs in the insulated ceramic cases along the King's forearms and calves, and plunged into the soft parts of the dragon's mouth.
Even in an extreme case like this, the King could not resist the opportunity to make more magic weapons.
The dwarves kept attacking for a good while, even after it was clear that Smaug was dead. They were very worked-up and wanted to be absolutely sure the beast was dead.
Taxidermy on Smaug's corpse, the King reflected, would be a challenge.
They would still do it, but it would take extra effort to get it right, despite all the holes in the body.
He supposed he would have to keep it inside - probably coiled around the Great Hall - since he wouldn't want a stuffed dragon of legendary size to scare away any other dragons that might want to come and attack Lonely Mountain.
Oh, no, he wouldn't want them scared away at all, as they probably would be if they saw this outside.
So inside it would have to go, even though fewer would see it there.
Still, Smaug would make an awesome display piece.
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Author's Note
In the original story, Smaug's belly had become armored with gems due to decades of laying on the hoard that included them.
That is more than 3 centuries in the future of this story.
And in this story he never captured the hoard in Lonely Mountain anyway - so no gems to lay on.
But I didn't want to deny him any advantage.
And it isn't much of a stretch at all to imagine that whatever quirk of Smaug's physiology allowed gems to become embedded in his flesh would similarly allow stones to become so embedded.
He's old enough to have been laying on Something for decades or centuries.
And he is smart enough to recognize the value of such embedded stones. All we need is for chance to have caused one to become so embedded, and then we can count on Smaug to take care of the rest. The Necromancer or others could have helped if needed.
And, later, if he had captured large piles of gems, I have no doubt Smaug would have pried out stones with a claw so as to be able to replace them with gems.
In fact, we can imagine him having 'cobble-stone armor' in the original story, though it wasn't mentioned, and replacing them, even one by one if need be, when he got the chance.