Chapter 20 The One with the Legend
Hiya! It's been a hot minute! Hope you enjoy this one!
EchoMoment: Thanks for the reviews! Truthfully, I dabbled in finding out Elisabeth/Sarah Jane's accurate age for the episode and just going with what I (and by extension Florence) thought she looked like, she did look wonderful for mid 50s! Also, funnily enough I am from England not America! Everyone I know frequently calls cafes/lil restaurant spots that look like that bistros hahaha! Must be a local thing, I guess!
I own nothing recognisable x
Florence felt her hands press against the cool floor of the TARDIS, but when she opened her eyes she saw neither the metal grating of her lanky Doctor's TARDIS nor the glass flooring of her floppy haired Doctor, instead she saw a light grey metallic flooring that reminded her that she had no clue how many Doctor's she would meet, nor how often they would get bored and do some interior design. She sat up on her knees and groaned slightly, still feeling her slightly damp jeans and turtleneck rub against her skin uncomfortably. The console room was surprisingly empty, the metallic grey flooring matching the much colder and more space-aged new decor. There were circular shapes carved into the top of the central column, bright orange lights emitting from the column itself and underneath the console, which itself was the tidiest she had ever seen it - a clear and organised control panel that she never thought she'd see the madman use in his blue box. She stood and looked around, wondering where said madman might be, or at least any indication of where he had gotten to, heading up the staircase towards a chalkboard covered in the same circular symbols, she ran her fingers over them slightly, pulling back and rubbing her fingers together to rid them of the white chalk dust.
"Florence!" A northern voice called to her, and she looked over the edge of the bannister to see a smiling brunette dressed in a lavish medieval styled red dress, complete with intricate beading and a matching silver headpiece. "There you are!" Florence smiled uncertainly at her,
"Hello…" The girl laughed at her,
"Come on! He's taking us to meet Robin Hood! I found a bunch of dresses, quickly!" Florence nodded, rolling with the punches and following the girl back the way she had come, down a corridor and into the TARDIS' wardrobe, glad to have the option to change out of her damp clothes.
"Right, but…" She was interrupted again when the brunette shoved a green dress similar to her own into her arms,
"Here ya go! He'll hate to have to wait but I'm sure he'll forgive me now you're here!" Florence laughed despite her confusion over who the girl was exactly, but couldn't find a moment to interrupt her to ask from her name. She was pushed behind the screen to follow strict instructions and change into the dress provided, it had the same silhouette as the other woman's but with less billowing sleeves and a loose corseted design at the front created with a brown lace. She came out and did a little spin, laughing at the excitement of the other woman, who jumped and clapped her hands. "Perfect!"
Florence pulled her black converse back onto her feet and declined the slippers held out to her. "We both know we'll be running…" The woman pouted and sighed,
"Yeah, I guess." She smiled again and spun around, leading the way back out of the wardrobe towards the console room. "Come on! I wanna meet Robin Hood!"
Florence looked at herself briefly in the mirror before following after the woman, dressed in an outfit that was best suited to a renaissance fair. By the time she had reached the console room the red dress had swept from the open door, and as Florence approached she heard a pompous masculine voice wonder,
"Are there any more in there?" She popped her head out of the open door and looked around at the lush forest they had landed in, landing on the familiar red dress and two unfamiliar men that stood nearby. Well, she thought, as unfamiliar as a guy clearly dressed like Robin Hood could be, she stepped out as his smile widened. "And so there is! Another most fair lady!" The grey haired man in a dark suit turned to look at her at the man's comment, his face lighting up.
"Florence!" He called in a thick Scottish accent, one she was sure was real this time around.
"Doctor…" She called back only slightly hesitant as she made her way over to him, but his eyes were pulled back to his companion, who had not taken her own off of the man in front of them.
"Is that..?" She mumbled, slapping the Doctor lightly on the stomach, and he shook his head at her sternly.
"No." He said plainly, before Florence reached his side and laughed slightly,
"I think it is, Doctor…" The woman in red nodded,
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God! It is, isn't it? You found him. You actually found Robin Hood." She was giggling and trying to control herself, unsuccessfully. The Doctor looked between the two women,
"That is not Robin Hood." He told them again firmly, almost shouting at the man himself in annoyance.
"Well then, who, sir, is about to relieve you of your magic box?" The man, Robin bloody Hood, told them, hands on his hips and chest puffed out. Florence frowned at his question, and looked a bit startled when he pulled out his sword threateningly.
"Umm, are we about to be robbed…?" She murmured to the Doctor, who shook his head and stepped closer to the man,
"Nobody, sir. Not in this universe or the next."
Robin Hood didn't take kindly to his words, stepping up to meet him in the middle of a tree trunk acting as a bridge over a stream. "Well then, draw your sword and prove your words!" He challenged, but the Doctor merely opened his coat and turned in a circle.
"I have no sword. I don't need a sword." He pulled out something from his pocket and as he held his hand up, Florence noticed he had put a black leather glove on. "Because I am the Doctor…" He reached into his suit jacket and pulled out his weapon of choice with a flourish. "And this is my spoon! En garde!" Florence looked the woman next to her with a frown,
"Is this… usual?" She asked her, she had seen the Doctor fight with a giant telescope, red baubles and his own massive ego but never with a spoon.
"Huh?" The woman asked, looking at her briefly in confusion before turning back to the fight excitedly. The two of them watched as the men span in circles around each other, Robin lunging and swiping at the Doctor with his sword and receiving a surprisingly excellent defence strategy in return, the Doctor spotting an opening and smacking his attacker on the back of the neck as he passed him, causing Robin to cry out in pain. "You're amazing!" The woman in red called out, while Florence clapped her hands,
"Bravo! Bravo!" She cried, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
"I've had some experience!" The Doctor told them, blocking an attack as he spoke. "Richard the Lionheart!" He blocked again. "Cyrano de Bergerac! Errol Flynn - he had the most enormous…" A pointed cough came from his unknown companion. "Ego!" Florence laughed loudly,
"Says you!"
"Takes one to know one!" The woman agreed, and the Doctor rolled his eyes before returning to his humiliation of the outlaw in front of him, slapping him on the arse with his spoon, earning a startled cry from the other man. Robin turned them both around once more and thrusted his sword in the Doctor's direction, nipping him on the coat and cutting off one of the buttons, which fell to the log. Florence's eyebrows raised when the Doctor held his arms out wide in surrender, before calmly stepping to the side and pushing his back against Robin's as he attacked once more, causing the outlaw to become unbalanced and land in the stream with a splash. "Doctor!" The woman ran from Florence's side to join the Doctor's, who was polishing his spoon triumphantly.
"Like I said, my box." He told them plainly, while Florence peered over the edge of the trunk to look in the seemingly deeper than she had thought stream, seeing nothing.
"Umm… Doctor?" The other two looked with her, and Florence opened her mouth to wonder where he had disappeared to when the answer came in the form of the Doctor's own dive into the stream, crying out before popping up with a splutter of water. Robin popped up next to the woman in red and the two burst into laughter, while Florence merely shook her head in exasperation at the Doctor's inability to not show off.
According to the legend himself, the three of them were being escorted to his group of outlaws' hideaway, clearly considering the earlier incident a strange bonding moment for the men - though Florence doubted the Doctor felt the same way. Robin strode a few steps ahead of the time travelling trio, two of whom were still debating their tour guide's existence.
"It's not Robin Hood!" The Doctor was saying, stubbornly shaking his head.
His companion (Florence really had to find out her name) let out a scoff, "Seriously? He's dressed in green, we're in Sherwood Forest, he's leading us to other outlaws, do you need a birth certificate?" Florence laughed at her cheek, and received a glare from the Doctor.
"No, I don't need a birth certificate, thank you very much!" He told her snarkily. "I need to do a scan and collect some DNA samples."
"It's all science with you, innit Doctor?" Florence commented, accepting his hand as she attempted to walk along the trunk of a fallen tree. "All we've seen, what's a little myth and legend gonna hurt?"
"Robin Hood doesn't exist." The Doctor maintained, and Florence laughed,
"Neither did werewolves!"
"That was different!" He told her, while his companion looked between the two of them,
"Uh, hang on, go back… werewolves?" Florence nodded, jumping off the trunk and landing lightly,
"Yup, proper werewolf, on Earth too!" The Doctor rolled his eyes,
"It was an alien! Therefore I'm still correct, this is probably a clone or robot or something!" The two women looked at each other in exasperation. "I will get to the bottom of this!"
"Oh I bet you will, can't keep that nose of yours out of anything…" He turned to Florence with an offended expression,
"Now who's being rude!"
"I'm only being rude because you're being rude to…!" She trailed off before she had realised she had given herself away, as the other young woman turned to her with her mouth open.
"Hang on! Do you not remember my name?!" Florence spluttered slightly, looking to the Doctor for help but merely receiving an amused look.
"No it's not...! Fine!" She threw her hands up in the air. "I haven't met you yet! I presume you know about that part of my life? Everyone else fucking seems to!" The Doctor tutted slightly, muttering something about her language. "Oh shut up…" She muttered, frowning like a child. "You're not helping."
"So…" The companion began, pointing at the Doctor's face. "Does that mean it's your first time seeing this mug? Did you just know it was him?" The Doctor raised his eyebrows at her comment,
"'This mug'?" Florence ignored him.
"Yeah, I've seen a couple of his faces now, plus he always sticks out like a sore thumb."
"Says the girl wearing converse!" The Doctor pointed out, gesturing her dress that she had picked up slightly to walk.
"Give me a break! There's so much running!" He laughed slightly at that. "And anyway, it seems I never meet companions in order and you were talking so much in the TARDIS!" The girl blushed slightly. "Which was so nice! But I didn't get a chance to explain! And then I thought it would be too awkward to just ask! So I was waiting for him to mention it, but then he didn't, and then my mouth worked quicker than my brain and… well, here we are…" The Doctor smirked at her rambling, taking pity on her thankfully.
"Well then! Introductions!" He rubbed his hands together. "Florence, this is Clara Oswald, she's been travelling with us a while now and is obsessed with folklore clearly!" Clara merely rolled her eyes. "Clara, this is Florence Jensson, she time hops and has a penchant for skipping to the end of a book to check for spoilers, never take her to a library." Florence scowled at his unfair but accurate comment,
"Hey! I wanna know if I'll cry!" She smiled at Clara. "Nice to properly meet you, Clara." The Doctor gave her a curious look,
"Where have you come from anyway?" Florence laughed,
"The weirdest Christmas ever. With the Racnoss?" She told him, and he smirked slightly in recognition,
"Ah, wow. That was so long ago now." He smiled sweetly at her, a first since she had seen this new face. "Our first Christmas together!"
Florence laughed and then pouted dramatically. "And I didn't even get you a gift!"
Robin ended up leading them to a secluded cove in the middle of the woods, sheltered by an array of trees and mossy rocks, fallen leaves covering the floor space, which itself held evidence of living - camp-beds, an extinguished but visible fireside, and cooking utensils being hastily tidied up by members of Robin's company.
"Let me introduce you to my men!" Robin told Florence and Clara, while the Doctor lingered to the side of them, suspiciously glaring at the characters in front of them. Robin gestured to a blond man with a red scarf, smiling charmingly at the ladies. "This is Will Scarlet. He is a cheeky rogue with a good sword arm and a slippery tongue." Will bowed,
"My ladies." Florence smirked and nodded respectfully,
"Good sir." The Doctor scoffed beside her, causing her to nudge him sharply in the ribs. He reached forward and grabbed Will by the hair, yanking a few strands from his scalp, scanning it with the screwdriver.
"Ahh! What do you want with my hair?"
The Doctor threw it away as he finished his analysis. "Well, it's realistic, I'll give you that." Florence rolled her eyes,
"Ignore him." She told Robin, who stumbled over his words slightly before turning to the portly man in a brown religious gown, with white hair.
"And this is Friar Tuck." Tuck smiled kindly at them. "Aptly named for the amount of grub he tucks into." The rest of the crew laughed as the friar stepped forward likely to throttle their leader,
"You skinny blaggard!" Suddenly he tripped as one of his feet was snatched from under him. "What?" The Doctor popped up holding one of his sandals, "What are you doing?"
"This isn't a real sandal!" The Doctor asserted, waving the shoe at the friar.
"Doctor!" Florence scolded, confused by his methods.
"Yes it is!" Tuck told him, and the Doctor gave a sniff,
"Oh." He allowed it to be snatched from his hand. "Yes, it is." Florence gave the Doctor a strange look and shook her head slightly, to which he merely waved her off and continued to look around the camp suspiciously.
"This is, um, Alan-A-Dale." Robin continued, pointing out a young man with curly hair peeking out of a light brown cap and holding an instrument in his arms. "He's a master of the lute, whose music brightens up these dark days."
"Strangers you are welcome here," Alan sang, strumming his lute lightly, forcing Florence to hide her cringe slightly at the theatrics, "in Sherwood's bonny glade - OW!" He was cut off when the Doctor jumped up behind him and stuck something in his arm, Florence covered her face with her hand with a groan.
"Doctor!" She shouted at him, but he continued to hold whatever he had stabbed the man in front of him with.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. Blood analysis." He held up the golden syringe, looking at it and tutting lightly. "Oh. All those diseases. If you were real, you'd be dead in six months." Alan gazed at him fearfully,
"I am real!" The Doctor raised his eyebrows mockingly,
"Bye!" He sidestepped the giant man Robin was gesturing next and Florence grabbed at his arm as he walked past, turning away from the merriment of introductions and hissing at him lightly,
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked him, as he cast furtively around at the moss covered rocks surrounding them.
He scoffed slightly, "I don't know what you mean." Florence slapped him lightly in the stomach to get him to look at her,
"You're being weird!"
"I'm not being weird! I'm investigating!"
"No, you're being weird!" Florence maintained, casting glances over her shoulder at the laughing crowd. "And not subtle!"
"I don't need to be subtle, not to robots!" He told her childishly, before frowning and shouting over her at the group. "And stop laughing! Why are you always doing that? Are you all simple or something?" He picked up a goblet from the side and threw its contents away. "I'm going to need a sample." He walked over to Robin who looked at it curiously.
"Of what?" He asked, and Clara grabbed the Doctor before he could embarrass them further.
"Excuse us, sorry." Clara dragged him back over to where Florence was standing. "Stop it!"
The Doctor waved her off, telling the two women his findings. "Well, they're not holograms, that much is obvious. Could be a theme park from the future. Or we might be inside a miniscope."
"Oh, shut up!"
"A miniscope…" The Doctor muttered, ignoring her. "Yes, of course. Why not?" Florence scoffed,
"Oh no, I much prefer the theme park idea from the future!" She hissed at him, and he waved his hand at her as he walked off to explore the camp, Florence trailing behind him. "Oi! Don't ignore me!" He picked up a fruit from the table.
"I'm not!" He told her, throwing the fruit in the air and catching it.
"You are! I didn't realise this body would be this stubborn!" The Doctor laughed lightly,
"Oh Florence, do you ever think that my personality changes are just coping mechanisms for spending so long with you!" Florence's jaw dropped, and she batted the fruit from his hand.
"Hey!" The Doctor smiled proudly at his quip. "Rude!" He pointed at her face,
"You are smiling though." She pursed her lips in response. "Oh come on, Florence, I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with ye olde Sherwood…"
"-this jackal of the princes who seeks to oppress us forever more!" Came the voice of Alan from the centre of the camp, causing the Doctor to stick his head out from under the canopy he and Florence were standing under,
"Or six months in your case!" Florence pulled him back to her side,
"Oh stop it…" She scolded him lightly when she saw the fear on Alan's face. "So," she cast a look around the camp, "what's the real reason you don't trust this is all real? And don't say myths and legends, that won't work with me."
He sniffed lightly. "There's just something… in the air…" Florence looked at him oddly,
"Like what?" He shrugged,
"I don't know yet, I feel like we ought to check out Nottingham…"
Florence raised her eyebrows. "And how are we going to get a wanted criminal to take us there?" The Doctor grinned at her,
"Oh, I'm sure we'll find a way." He turned away from the young woman and pulled her back over to Robin and Clara. "What time is it, Mr Hood?"
Robin looked up at the sky above them. "Somewhere after noon." The Doctor shook his head,
"No, no. Time of year? What season?"
"Oh, Dame Autumn has draped her mellow skirts about the forest, Doctor. The time of mists and harvest approaches." Florence looked around curiously at the greenery.
"Really?" The Doctor hummed,
"Something in the air…" He gave Florence a look. "All very poetic. But it's very green hereabouts, though, isn't it? Like I said, very sunny." Clara glanced between the two of them,
"So?" Florence shrugged slightly,
"Speculations right now really…" Clara raised her eyebrow,
"Climate change?" She guessed, but the Doctor shook his head as he continued to look around him,
"It's 1190." He told her plainly, but Florence disagreed,
"It's an option though!" Robin looked between the strange trio with no clue what they were talking about, before smiling gently at Clara and Florence.
"You must excuse me. The Sheriff has issued a proclamation and tomorrow there is to be a contest to find the best archer in the land. And the bounty, it's an arrow made of pure gold."
Florence nudged the Doctor, making him turn back towards the camp. "Hey, there's our in…" She murmured, but Clara was adverse to the idea,
"Don't go! It's a trap!" She told Robin, who laughed heartily,
"Well, of course it is!" He told her. "But a contest to find the best archer in the land?" He held his arms out. "There is no contest!" The rest of the camp joined in laughing, much to the Doctor's annoyance.
"Right!" He called down to them. "That isn't even funny! That was bantering!" He spat out the word scornfully. "I am totally against bantering." Florence rolled her eyes slightly at his childishness, while Clara looked smugly at him.
"How can you be so sure he isn't the real thing?" The Doctor looked at her sternly,
"Because he can't be." Florence frowned at that, struck by how hellbent he was with his disbelief,
"Doctor, come on…" Clara shook her head,
"When did you stop believing in everything?" She asked him sadly.
"When did you start believing in impossible heroes?" He countered, and the two women shared a look.
"Don't you know?" Clara asked him, but he looked completely baffled, and Florence gave her a gentle nudge,
"Oh, come on, it's quite sweet." She gave the Doctor a look as he bit into an apple he had found and scanned the inside with his screwdriver, before turning away and dragging Clara back over to the campmates planning their route into Nottingham.
Florence clapped alongside Clara as the herald of Nottingham Castle introduced Robin - under the alias Tom the Tinker - to the crowd of people. The outlaw, hidden in plain sight underneath his wide-brimmed leather hat, bowed and waved charmingly at the crowd.
"Take your places." The herald called, as the Sheriff of Nottingham, donned in black leathers with gold accents, took his bow and arrow from a knight behind him.
"Shall we make the contest a little more interesting, my Lord? The targets seem a little close. What say you? Another twenty paces?" Robin asked him cockily, and Florence used the opportunity to murmur to Clara, who was still smiling graciously at the crowd.
"Where'd the Doctor slink off to?" She asked her. "I don't fancy getting shot today…" They watched as the Sheriff agreed to 'Tom's' terms and the target moved back some more.
"I dunno." Clara muttered back to her. "God knows what he's thinking." Florence blew a strand of her out of her face as the crowd went silent in anticipation, the Sheriff readying his first black arrow.
He drew back the bowstring before the squires had cleared the lawn and aimed for the blalck and white target now further away, releasing it with a snap. A polite smattering of applause sounded as his arrow landed in the middle of the bulls-eye, the Sheriff turned to Robin with a smug smirk,
"Now, Tinker. Let us see thy true face." There was hardly hesitation from Robin aside from a quick look at Clara before he aimed his own white feathered arrow at the target, splitting the Sheriff's own right down the middle. The crowd erupted into applause, including Clara who jumped up and down with excitement at seeing the action play out.
"Egads!" The herald cried, holding the golden arrow aloft. "He has split the arrow! Truly, he is the finest archer in all England! Come forward, Tinker. And claim your prize." Robin held his hand out to accept the reward, but moments before he could, there was a whistling in the air as a third arrow lodged itself in the centre of the target, splitting Robin's victorious arrow.
"Oh for god's sake…" Florence muttered as she and the rest of the crowd turned to spot the mysterious bowman, finding the tightly wound grey haired Doctor standing triumphantly in the back, tucking his bow into his side.
"I'm the Doctor." He announced as he stepped forward. "My skills as a bowman speak for themselves. I claim my reward." Clara looked over at Florence as if she could somehow explain his madness, but she merely shook her head at him.
"Don't ask me." The herald kneeled before the Doctor as he plucked the arrow from the velvet cushion, hardly looking at it before throwing it over his shoulder carelessly,
"A mere bauble." He announced to the shocked bystanders, and Florence closed her eyes in exasperation. "I want something else."
"Name it." The Sheriff responded.
"Enlightenment." Was the Doctor's simple reply, but before he could elaborate further, Robin had taken up his bow once more and shot into the centre of the target, splitting the arrow once more and throwing the Doctor a challenging look. The crowd cheered once more, and the Doctor rolled his eyes slightly before firing again himself, ricocheting his arrow of a knight's armour to split Robin's arrow for the second time.
"Seriously?" Florence called out as the men stared each other down, Robin not even looking at the target as he fired a third arrow landing in the same way as the previous two. "Doctor, enough!"
The Time Lord in question nodded slightly and pulled his screwdriver from his jacket pocket. "This is getting silly." He aimed it at the target and pressed the button, the wooden and fabric object bursting into a ball of flames in less than a second.
"Doctor!" Florence called out again, shocked at his audacity, and he turned to her,
"What! You said enough!" The Sheriff looked at him curiously,
"Fascinating. Seize him!" He ordered his guards, who drew their swords and approached the alien. Clara ran to the weapon rack and lifted a large wooden staff with a blade at the end of it, Florence looked at her in alarm.
"Um!" She struggled slightly with it. "Do you know how to use that?" Clara held it up,
"I'm good!"
"Put that down!" The Doctor ordered her, as she attempted to block him from the circling knights.
"I'm fine!" Clara told him. "I take Year Seven for after school Tae Kwon Do!"
Florence gave her a smile. "You're a teacher?!" The Doctor shot her a look. "Sorry, sorry, not the time."
Before the Doctor could act, Robin stepped in front of him. "Don't worry, Doctor. I'll save you."
"I don't need saving." The Doctor told him firmly, but the outlaw wasn't listening.
"Your honour is safe..."
"I know." The Doctor replied plainly, as Robin threw off his disguise with a flourish,
"For I am Robin, Robin Hood!" The crowd let out a roar as they saw their hero, who ran forward sword aloft and attacked one of the guards, sparring with him for a moment until he got the upperhand and swung his sword down, catching the knight's arm and severing it at the elbow. The crowd watched as the limb fell to the ground, while the knight's shoulder sparked fiercely, the knight itself hardly acknowledging it.
The Doctor ran forward and grabbed the arm from the grass, holding it up and turning to Florence victoriously. "Robot!" He called, as the rest of the crowd began to shout,
"Witchcraft! Witchery!" Florence watched as the knight's head turned slightly to look down at the Doctor, its visor opening on its own with a metallic hiss, revealing a silver futuristic face with a cross of purple light emitting from across its eyebrows.
"Oh my god." Florence muttered, she turned when she heard stomping coming down the wooden steps behind her.
"Take them!" The Sheriff called out. "Kill the rest! Kill them all!" Clara and Florence staggered back slightly, Clara under the weight of the medieval weapon and Florence over the skirts of her medieval dress, the knights' visors all opening to reveal the same robotic faces underneath. Bolts of energy shot out from their foreheads and struck the ground around them, fire erupting from the earth and the people screaming and fleeing.
"He surrenders!" The Doctor called out, to the shock of Robin, who was still geared up and ready to fight.
"What?" The Doctor turned to him and let out a cry before hitting his sword out of his hand with a quick sharp attack from the side of his hand.
"What was that?" Florence asked him in shock, and he gave her a grin,
"Just a trick I picked up from the Venusian nuns…" Robin glared at the Doctor,
"You miserable cur! I had them on the run!" He turned to his merry men. "Flee, lads, flee! Live to fight another day!" His band ran, as the four remaining outlaws were surrounded by knights, who grabbed them by the arms roughly.
"To the dungeons with them all!" The Sheriff called, and the group was marched across the lawn towards the castle, Clara's hands still up in the air in surrender.
"What are you up to?" She muttered to the Doctor, who smiled slightly as he allowed himself to be marched,
"Quickest way to find out anybody's plans, get yourself captured." He told her, and she looked across him at Florence in shock, who sighed slightly.
"Unfortunately, it works." She glared at him. "And I hate that it does."
Hollow eyeless sockets bore into her skin as she sat facing the only other occupant of the dungeon outside their little group of miscreants. There was a rotten smell in the air mixed with the scent of straw and dirt that covered the uncomfortable ground she was firmly planted on, and yet the glare of the sightless skeleton in front of her was nothing compare to the heated glare of the woman chained up not even half a foot next to it, and Clara was once again glad not to have been the Doctor in this situation.
"I have nothing to apologise for." The grey haired fool told the young woman plainly, and Clara suspected if he could cross his arms he would have. "You were the last in the queue." Florence just stared blankly at him, and Clara felt like she was rubbernecking on the M25, unable to take her eyes off the stonily silent Florence battling it out with the rarely apologetic Doctor. The difference between the two incarnations she had travelled with was most obvious when she was forced to watch them interact with an upset or pissed off Florence - where the boyish charm of the previous Doctor worked to naturally achieve forgiveness from the stubborn woman, this Doctor was just as stubborn and made a show of refusing to give into Florence while at the same time doing the most to ease her scowl whenever he had aggravated her. Watching the stoic, grumpy, and equally inflexible Time Lord lose any battle of the silences between the two of them at any point never failed to entertain Clara, and she frequently found herself sitting back and stirring the pot just to see how red the Doctor's ears would get before he inevitably gave in. "At least your neighbour is quiet!" He let out, rolling his head in the direction of the famous outlaw beside him, who kept sighing loudly and scoffing.
"Next time," Florence began, shifting slightly in a way that Clara familiarly knew meant that her bum was going numb, "don't expose yourself by having a pissing contest." The Doctor spluttered slightly while Clara let out a laugh,
"She means using your screwdriver!" She told the Time Lord, who fell silent, aside from the muttering under his breath, while Robin shook his head, looking down at his manacled wrists.
"Enchained." He said in disbelief, and Clara glanced over at him,
"Yep." She rolled her eyes slightly, obvious statements weren't exactly useful.
"No shit…" She heard Florence murmur from across them.
"Trussed up like turkey-cocks." Robin continued, rather unnecessarily. "Thanks to your friend."
"Shut it, Hoodie," the Doctor shot back, "I saved your life!"
"I had the situation well in hand." Robin countered, while the Doctor scoffed obnoxiously,
"Long-haired ninny versus robot killer knights?" He asked him snarkily. "I know where I'd put my money." Clara caught Florence's eyes across the space and they both rolled them in unison at the sheer pigheadedness of the men.
Robin glared at the Doctor fiercely. "If you had not betrayed me, I would have been triumphant!"
"You would have been a little puff of smoke and ashes!" The Doctor told him, and spoke louder when Robin tried to interject. "You'd have been floating around in tiny little laughing bits in people's goblets!"
"Balderdash! Ha!" Robin scoffed at the very thought, clearly both the heroics of the two men getting in the way of their maturity with no end to the petty squabble in sight, and Clara's bum was really starting to feel dead.
"Oh right, here we go. It's laughing time!" The Doctor told his companions, looking to the two of them as if they were on his side.
"Well you amuse me, grey old man." Robin mocked, laughing even loudly and more obscenely.
The Doctor glared at him again before calling out in the direction of the doorway to the dungeon. "Guard! He's laughing again! You can't keep me locked up with a laughing person."
"Oh!" Robin exclaimed, sitting straighter against his own post they were all tied against. "I find that… I find that quite funny! Do you know… I feel another laugh coming on! AHA-HA-HAA!" He continued his manic laughing while the Doctor shouted out to the guards once more.
"Oh my god, kill me." Clara muttered, as her childhood dreamboat and more recent alien company acted worse than the kids at school.
"Guards, I cannot remain in this cell!" The Doctor yelled out. "Execute me now!"
"You heard him! Execute the old fool!" Florence pointed her shackled hands at him,
"Hey! Watch it!" She glared at him, and Clara had to roll her eyes with a smile, no matter how angry she was, you could always count on Florence to defend the Doctor at all costs.
"No, hang on!" The Doctor cried out again. "Execute him!"
"I do not fear death! So execute away!" Robin shot back, puffing his chest out, the Doctor nodding like a fool,
"Execute him. I'd like to see if his head keeps laughing when you chop it off!"
"Oh, Robin Hood always laughs in the face of death!"
"Yes, rolling around the floor laughing, I would pay good money to see that! Guard!"
"Guard!"
"Guard!"
"Guard!"
"Guard!"
"OH! Shut up the pair of you!" Clara finally burst, it was a choice to either bring out the teacher-voice or rip her own hair out. An awkward silence followed, broken only by a breathy laugh slipping from Florence's pursed lips. "Have either of you thought, in any way at all, for even a second, that there isn't actually a guard out there?" She asked them, and the two peered at the doorway bashfully.
"I did, in fact." Robin muttered, and the Doctor shot him a look.
"No you didn't!"
"I said, shut up. The Doctor and Robin Hood locked up in a cellar. Is this seriously the best that you can do?" She gave him an unimpressed look, and was glad to see her words had ever so slightly gotten through his thick head. "You're determined to starve to death in here squabbling."
"She's right, and I'd rather starve in silence if there's a choice." Florence told them plainly.
"Well, I'll tell you one thing." Robin began. "I'd last a lot longer than this desiccated man-crone." Clara and Florence both groaned when the arguing started again.
"Really?" The Doctor asked smugly, and Robin nodded firmly back, sneering,
"Really."
"Well, you know what?" The Doctor asked him patronisingly. "I think you'll find I have a certain genetic advantage. Oh!" He cried out, as Clara yanked hard at the chain nearest to her that connected to his wrist, causing him to rub it gingerly.
"It is not a competition about who can die slower." Clara told him, speaking to him as if he were one of her bloody year eights who had decided to see who could throw their shoes onto the roof easier, but the Doctor simply gave her a look,
"It would definitely be me though, wouldn't it?"
Florence kicked some of the straw at him slightly. "Not when I'm through with you it wouldn't…" She grumbled, before Clara drew their attentions back to the matter at hand,
"There was supposed to be a plan." She reminded them. "Do either of you two have a plan?"
"Yeah!" The Doctor stretched out. "Of course I have a plan!"
"I too have a plan." Robin cut in, and Clara smiled at him brightly,
"Okay… Robin, you first."
"Why him?" The Doctor complained, and Florence smiled mockingly at him,
"Come on Doctor, let the other kids have a go first."
Clara shot her a look and all, "Oi, behave. Robin, your plan." She prompted the outlaw, who faltered ever so slightly,
"I am… biding my time." He finally got out, and Florence laughed slightly,
"Right, wonderful. Cheers, Prince of Thieves. Last of the Time Lords, anything to add?" She asked the troupe leader.
"Yes, I have a plan."
Clara decided to cut in quickly before he got too ahead of himself. "Can you explain your plan without using the word sonic screwdriver?" He looked at her blankly. "Because you might have forgotten the Sheriff of Nottingham has taken your sonic screwdriver, just saying. It's always the screwdriver." She finished, aiming her last comment at Florence, who shrugged one shoulder in agreement,
"She has a point."
"Okay, l-l-l-let's hear Robin's plan first." The Doctor stumbled, flustering to come up with a plan off the top of his head.
Clara leaned her head back on the post behind her, the surface forcing the already uncomfortable grips in her hair to further dig in. "Oh, for god's sake." She muttered, afraid that the arguing would begin all over again. Before another word could be said, however, the lock attached to the heavy wooden door in front of them was unlocked with a clang, and a dark figure entered.
"See?" Robin gloated. "There was a guard. There was a guard listening the whole time, I knew it. Ha ha ha ha!" The guard snarled at the four of them, Florence awkwardly shifting position to see him.
"The Sheriff himself commanded me to listen, to find out which of you is the true ringleader." The Doctor nodded sagely,
"Ah, so he can do the interrogating. Very wise." Robin nodded in agreement,
"Excellent. He will get nothing from me."
The Doctor turned, grabbing his chains to get in a more comfortable position to argue with the outlaw. "No, no, no, no. no. He will get nothing from me, because interrogation, that's where I always turn the tables. You see, that's my plan." Robin sighed and held out a hand dismissively, while Clara caught the eye of the creepy guard with stumps for teeth as he stared her down.
"Just hurry up and take me to him." Robin was saying, as he walked closer to the group, eyes still on Clara, who realised a second before he bent to her level what he was doing.
"No, no, chop-chop, come on." The Doctor argued, before the sound of Clara's chains unlocking diverted his attention. "Wait…"
Clara was dragged to her unsteady feet as she cast the Doctor an unimpressed look, before looking up at the guard. "Seriously?" She asked, and he nodded, pushing her in front of him.
"Come on." He order, and suddenly Clara found herself walking toward the dungeon door, barely able to look behind and give Florence, who was staring at her with large worried eyes, a comforting smile
"Don't be ridiculous!" The Doctor's shout was the last she heard before the guard had locked the dungeon door behind them and began pushing her through the grey stone walls of the castle, and towards the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Wow this took a while! I hope you all enjoy, I'm on an early easter break rn, so hopefully I can smash a few more chapters out this month!
See you for chapter 21! xo