Chapter Nineteen: Life Goes On
Almost One Year and a Half Later…
April
"Lauren could you please take all my calls, I'm heading out for the day. If there's anything important-"
"Call your work phone, yes sir."
Fitz smiled at the young woman sitting behind her desk. He always liked Lauren She was polite, a hard worker, did anything she was asked and was very good at her job. "Thank you Lauren. And you can probably take off an hour early. I don't expect anything to keep you here that long. Just make sure you-"
"File the list of names for the new recruits, already half finished. Oh, by the way your mother called while you were in your meeting."
Fitz sighed, already knowing why his mother was calling him. "If she calls again, tell her I'm on my way."
"Yes sir, have a good day."
Fitz bid Lauren a good day as well, and made his way to the elevators. Before he went down to the parking garage, however, he stopped in on the lower level and did the same thing he'd been doing for months now. He stopped outside the room Olivia once occupied and just stared at it. Someone had long since taken up the space, but it didn't matter to him. The new person had kept the walls the same way Olivia left them and even though she wasn't there anymore, he could still sense her.
He never did this after Olivia left the company, and that was because he got to see Olivia every day after work. But now, he hadn't seen or heard from Olivia in a little over a year. He'd heard she did some traveling after their breakup, and the last place he heard, she was in New Zealand until she came back. But she didn't come home or Fitz would've known. He frequently went by the brownstone checking for her, but he only ever saw Alex or Quinn. He never got out of his car though and the moment he felt someone saw him he would leave. He might sound and certainly look like a stalker, but Fitz didn't care.
Olivia was always on his mind, everyday it never failed. Fitz had never felt this way towards another woman's absence, he didn't know how to act, because Fitzgerald Grant didn't get caught up over women. Yet he was stalking outside the home of his ex-girlfriend. A girlfriend who never wanted to see, speak or hear from him again.
Flashback
Fitz was waiting for Olivia when she got home. He had no idea how he'd beaten her home, but it had something to do with the expert weaving in and out of traffic. The second Olivia hung up the phone on him, he told Lauren to cancel the rest of his day and he took off. He had to explain to Olivia, explain everything and hope that it was enough to repair all the damage that had been done in just a few short hours.
Fitz couldn't believe he let this happen. He'd been warned, he'd been warned plenty of times, but he didn't listen when he should have. His mother had told him he was going to hurt Olivia and himself if he didn't deal with his skeletons. He thought he had everything under control, yet here he was on the verge of losing the best thing that ever happen to him.
A cab pulled up in front of the brownstone, and Fitz felt like an even bigger when Olivia got and he could tell she'd been crying. Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose was Rudolph red. The moment she saw him sitting on her front steps, she was tempted to just turn around and get back in the cab. But she didn't, she sucked in the fresh wave of tears she felt coming just by seeing him, squared her shoulders and walked towards him.
"Livvie-"
"Leave." Olivia walked passed him and stuck her key in her front door. She tried to shut Fitz outside, but he was way too strong.
"Olivia just let me explain." Fitz followed her in the kitchen, but he stumbled back a bit when Olivia unexpectedly whipped around.
"What is there to explain?! Are you married?"
Fitz couldn't lie to her anymore, and he told himself he was going to be honest with her, but it was harder than he thought. "Yes." Olivia already knew the answer to her question, but it hurt even more hearing Fitz confirm it out lout. "But I'm separated, legally. It was barely a real marriage. It was four years ago Liv, we eloped in Vegas and it was the worst mistake of my life. We weren't even married a full year before I filed for divorce. We've been separated for three years now and she refuses to sign the divorce papers. She wants more money out of me and I refuse to give it to her. That's all I ever was to her was a piggy bank."
"Yet you married her."
"I did and it was a mistake. And I've been trying to divorce her ever since."
"That doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. It doesn't change the fact that you're married and you've made me your mistress."
"Olivia don't say that, don't ever say that."
"Fitz I need you to leave."
"No, no I'm not leaving until you tell me that we can get passed this."
"Get passed this? Fitz you didn't yell at me and make me cry, you hid a WIFE from me! How the hell do you think we can get passed that?!"
"I don't love her! I feel nothing for that woman and I never have. Olivia I care about you, I love you."
"Oh isn't that convenient. And how am I supposed to believe that? How am I supposed to believe anything you've ever said to me? Our entire relationship has been built on a lie. None of it was real."
"That's not true and you know it. This one thing does not negate our entire relationship. Every day we spent together was real, every moment we shared was real."
"Before we got together, you said you couldn't date me because of company policy. But it was because of her right."
Fitz sighed. "I thought I was protecting you. I thought if I hid my feelings for you than they would go away because I knew you weren't like the other girls. I knew I couldn't just sleep with you and forget you. I knew Melanie would eventually find out and I knew she'd get to you somehow. But in the end I couldn't stay away from you."
"And you didn't think that would be a great time for you to divorce your wife!"
"I told you I've tried! I am trying, she just won't sign the damn papers." Fitz could tell her was getting nowhere with Olivia and he needed to do something before he lost her completely. "Livvie listen please. I know I lied to you and I'm sorry, I should've been honest with you. And I should've just stayed away from you like I told myself, but couldn't. I don't know what it is about you, but I have never felt this way for any other woman. You're special to me, and I can't explain how much you mean to me." Olivia was already shaking her head.
"I can't mean that much to you if you would hurt me like this." Olivia's tears had come back with full force. Olivia had moved behind the bar to keep some space between the two of them, but it didn't work for long. She couldn't move fast before Fitz rounded the bar and had her in his arms. "Let go!"
"No Livvie, not until you tell me there's hope for us. We love each other Olivia and love allows for forgiveness."
"Forgiveness? How do you expect me to forgive that you have a wife."
"Olivia she means nothing to me and you mean everything to me. I never loved another woman that wasn't related to me and I'm telling you now that I love you. Doesn't that count for something?"
Does it count for something? Olivia didn't know. She didn't know what to think right now. He head was swimming with a thousand different thoughts. She wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe that he cared for her and loved her just as much as she still loved him. But she couldn't. She wanted to believe that every moment they spent together actually meant something to him just as it had for her. But she couldn't
"I don't believe you. I don't believe you anymore." Olivia words made Fitz release her, and Olivia flinched at the hurt and devastated look on his face. But she wouldn't give into that. He wasn't the one who got to feel hurt and devastated right now. "I gave you everything Fitz. I let my guard down and I let you in, further than any other man has gone before. I gave you something I can never get back again. I gave you my heart because I thought it was safe with you. And now it's laying mangled on the floor and I don't know if I'll ever be able to repair it after this. Do you know how humiliated I felt when your wife showed up at my place of business? Having to hear that from her." Fitz had yet to speak. "I can't do this anymore Fitz. I can't just forgive this, forgive you. I'm sorry but I can't. I can't just forget the amount of pain you've caused me. I'm sorry." Olivia slid the diamond ring Fitz had given her off her finger and sat it gently on the counter. "Please leave Fitz." Olivia wasn't sure if she could get past Fitz without him trying to reach out to her, but she had to leave. When she walked passed him, her heart ached just a little bit more when Fitz made no attempt to stop her.
In the end, Fitz would give Melanie everything she wanted to get her out of his life. He gave her over ten million dollars and a beach house in California. But it wouldn't matter, Olivia was already gone.
Present
"Fitzgerald dear, there you are. I thought we were going to have to send a search party out for you." Marilyn said, when Fitz finally showed up at his sister's place. The entire family had gotten together to plan their annual charity event they held each year around this time. It was a good cause, to raise money for children with heart problems. They were meeting at Tabitha's place, because she didn't want to lug her son, Theo, all the way to her parent's home. The Grant kids didn't even know why they were a part of this discussion anyway, because even though their names were attached to this even as well, their mother always made all the decisions.
"Sorry mother, a meeting ran late."
"Well it's alright, you're here now." Marilyn gave her son a hug and kiss on the cheek. "You alright honey? You look a little grim, you're not falling ill are you?"
"I'm fine mother."
"Aright, if you say so." Marilyn knew what was wrong with him, but she wouldn't bring it up. Olivia was a touchy subject for Fitz. "Well come sit down honey, we were just discussing donations for the auction giveaway." Fitz sat down at the table next to his father, taking the drink he offered.
About thirty minutes later, they heard some cries from upstairs. Everyone moved to get up, but Fitz beat them all to it. He took the steps up to the second floor to the nursery. You couldn't miss the door, because it was decorated with a train themed 'T' for Theodore. Tabitha had been obsessed with trains when she was a little girl, so it was only natural that would be the theme of Theo's room.
The baby was only whimpering by time Fitz got to the room. His little pacifier had slipped from his mouth. Fitz slid it back in and Theo greatly appreciated it. Fitz loved his little nephew, he was a handsome little man. He was chubby baby with creamy colored skin, dark brown eyes, and straight brown hair with a serious cow lick. It was always funny to see Tabitha expertly brushing Theo's hair to get it to lay down, which it never did.
Theodore had changed Tabitha for the better. He made her grow up and become more responsible. Before, Tabitha was still a child. She still lived at home rent free, and expected everyone around her to do whatever she needed. Now, Tabitha was living on her own, she paid her own bills, and her partying all night days were over. She might have been nervous about becoming a mother, which was understandable, but she was doing an amazing job.
Theo had changed his uncle as well, only a little. He'd softened Fitz. He was still the hard ass in his business life, but he wasn't as intense. And for the first time, Fitz saw himself with a baby. He'd never thought he wanted to be a father before, but now he could see himself with a kid. Maybe even more than one. But there was only one person he wanted to have those kids with, and she wasn't talking to him.
Fitz pulled the blanket down from Theo's neck and moved the stuffed animals from the crib. Fitz told Tabitha she kept too many animals in that crib, but she never listens. Not wanting to go back downstairs just yet, Fitz sat in the red rocking chair by the window. He was flipping through a baby book, when something on the wall caught his eye. It hadn't been up there before, otherwise Fitz would've noticed. This was new. It was a picture, or rather a painting, of a picture of Theo. Fitz had the same picture framed in his home. The painting was on a textured canvas of Theo in the fetal position. It was beautiful, and so realistic, like the painting would start breathing at any moment.
Fitz ran a gentle hand over the painting, studying the strokes and lines and patterns. He knew that work. He'd spent months studying it. This was one of Olivia's. Olivia painted this picture. There was one sure way to find out if Olivia painted this picture and that was by checking the back. Olivia always signed her work, even work she gave out as gifts to family members. Fitz took the painting off the wall and checked the back. In the bottom right corner there it was, her signature, Olivia Pope. But how could Olivia have gotten a picture of Theo? She didn't even know when Tabitha had the baby did she? The only way she could've known was if Tabitha and Olivia were still in touch. And that also meant that Tabitha may know where Olivia was and didn't tell Fitz in all this time.
Fitz put the painting back on the wall and made his way back downstairs.
"Was he okay?" Tabitha asked, when Fitz came back downstairs.
"Why didn't you tell me you've been talking to Olivia this entire time?" Fitz answered her question with another question of his own.
"What?"
"That painting in Theo's room, Olivia painted that. I know her work."
"Fitz…" Tabitha started to say something, but she didn't know what to say. Luckily her mother came to her rescue.
"Olivia didn't want us to tell you." Fitz whipped his head around to his mother.
"You've been talking to Olivia too?"
"Just a few times honey, she's donated a bunch of pieces for the auction."
"Who else has been talking to her?" Fitz asked, and Big Gerry gave himself away by his guilty look. Then Fitz turned to Patrick.
"Hey don't look at me." Patrick held his hands up in surrender. "I have had no contact whatsoever with any Pope woman in over a year."
"That's because they both hate you." Tabitha pointed out. "Look Fitz, I don't know where she is alright. We've only been talking on the phone and skype."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because she asked me not to. Olivia's a good friend to me, and I actually like her."
"How did you even start talking to her again?"
"She was the photographer for a photoshoot I was in. Remember that maternity style fashion spread I did? She's been around lately, a lot of people are recognizing her work. She did a shoot for Vogue magazine last month. She's doing really well for herself. We met up for coffee a few times after the shoot while she was here and we exchanged numbers. But I haven't seen her in a while."
"How'd she get a picture of Theo if you haven't seen her?"
"We were talking on skype a week ago and she remembered she didn't get me anything for Theo. And I told her I needed something for the nursery and asked if she could paint something for me. I sent her a few pictures of him and she sent me back that painting. It's so beautiful isn't it?" Tabitha gushed, but Fitz wasn't getting side tracked.
"Email or by mail?"
"Mail."
"What address?"
"Fitz honey-" Marilyn tried to speak but Fit cut her off.
"You all have been secretly talking to her this entire time, you've known where she is this entire time and didn't say anything to me. You let me walk around here with my tail between my legs searching for that woman and you didn't say anything. Where did you send the fucking pictures Tabitha?"
"Fitzgerald-" Marilyn got cut off again.
"It was a business address in Sag Harbor."
"She's been two hours away this entire time?"
"No, she was in New Zealand for a month or two. Before that I don't know where she went." Fitz ripped a piece of paper from the table, gave Tabi a pen and told her to write it down.
"Fine. But when you show up wherever this address takes you, do not tell her I gave it to you. Okay, you used some psycho ex-boyfriend connections and tracked her down. I would actually like to keep this friend." Tabitha gave Fitz the paper and he stuffed it in his pocket before he grabbed his suit jacket.
"Fitz where are you going?" Marilyn called after Fitz, but he just walked right out the door.
"Mother where do you think he's going." Patrick said. "I tell you what, if I ever get caught up on a woman like that. You just shoot me in the head."
"With pleasure." Tabitha snidely said. She knew Fitz was going to that address in hopes of finding Olivia. Tabitha hated to go back on her word to Olivia, but she secretly hoped that Fitz could fix their relationship. Tabitha had never seen her brother so happy with a woman the way he was with Olivia. And now, she'd never seen him so strung out over a woman like he was with Olivia. They were both miserable, Fitz more so than Olivia, but they were still both not happy. If they could just get back together, all would be right in the world and Tabitha would have to sneak around with one of the good friends she had.
X
Sag Harbor was approximately a two hour drive and Fitz planned on making the trip that moment. His car had gas, he stomach was full and he had nothing more important to do that day. The entire drive, Fitz wondered where the address would lead him. He had no idea, but as long as there was a possibility it would lead him to Olivia he would make that trip every time. He couldn't believe she'd been this close and he didn't know it. How could his family keep this away from him, knowing how miserable he was without her? Knowing how hard he had been searching for her so he could get her back. That was cruel. But now that he knew where to look for her, he wouldn't leave until he found her.
The drive took a little under two hours, because Fitz was paying no attention to any speed limit sign, not that he did any other time either. When he arrived in Sag Harbor, Fitz put the address into his GPS and it took him to a business street. The address was to a business nestled between two others, a photography studio and some kind of high-end boutique. The name of the business was Wonderland and there was a coming soon sign in the front store windows. No one looked to be inside, so Fitz parked on the other side of the street and got out. He peeped in the windows and the inside was pretty empty except for a few boxes, and some colorful furniture still wrapped in plastic wrap placed in several different spots. Fitz had no idea what this place was, but it had to mean something to Olivia since she had mail delivered to her here.
Fitz stopped two women walking past him, hoping they could shed some light. "Excuse me, but do you by any chance know what this place is going to be?"
"Oh, Wonderland? Yeah, that's Olivia's new place." One of the women answered.
"Olivia? As in Olivia Pope?"
"Yeah. That's her art gallery, well it's going to be once they get the place fixed up. That's her place next to it too."
"The photography place?" Fitz asked.
"Yeah, she took my grandbabies first pictures. She did so well, I couldn't help but buy all the pictures. She use to take all her pictures herself, but ever since she got a little famous she's been too busy."
"Now she has her staff take most of the pictures"
"She's gone a little Hollywood on us. She was in Miami beach just last week shooting some swim shoot."
Olivia has an art gallery and a photography studio? Wow, she's sure come a long way in such a short time. Fitz thought.
"Do you by any chance know Olivia? I only ask because you call her by first name." Fitz asked.
"Well sure, everyone in Sag Harbor knows who Olivia Pope is. With a talent like hers, it's hard not to get noticed. There isn't a home in Sag Harbor that doesn't have an original piece of Olivia Pope."
"Do you know where she lives?"
"Yeah, it's the only bright blue house in Sag harbor." The ladies giggled and walked away.
They hadn't given Fitz an address, so he spent about fifteen minutes looking for a bright blue house. It wasn't hard to find, because it was literally the only bright blue house in all of Sag Harbor. It was so like Olivia to paint her house in a bright blue color. The house itself was cute and charming. It wasn't obnoxiously big like most of the houses in Sag Harbor, but it wasn't a shoe box either. It was cozy. It was a cottage with a steeply metal roof, and a wraparound stone-clad porch. The grass was freshly cut and there were a lot of lush green plants everywhere. She must've had a great landscaper, because Fitz knew Olivia loved plants and flowers, but didn't like having them. She would always accept flowers, but didn't like being given them, because she knew she'd never take care of them and they'd just end up dying.
Fitz wanted to get out of the car, he really did, he didn't want to stay parked on her street stalking her house. He wanted, needed, to see her, but he didn't want to frighten her off. He didn't have an excuse as to why he was at her home, or how he'd found out where she lived, he didn't have anything. He'd had no reason to be in Sag Harbor up until a few hours ago.
As Fitz was contemplating on whether or not to get out the car, the front door opened. Fitz was parallel parked between two cars on the other side of the street and the tint on his windows was dark enough for no one to recognize him with the windows up. Fitz held his breath as Olivia stepped out the door, he didn't think it was possible, but she looked even more beautiful now. She hadn't changed much, but her hair was longer and it looked like she was wearing it in her natural curls now. And she looked trimmer like she'd been working out, but she still had those sexy curves that Fitz fell so in love with. Her now toned arms were clearly visible in her thin strap, flowy tank top. And her caramel smooth skin was on full display in her cutoff shorts.
She was carrying a large white flower pot down her front steps. She sat it on what looked like some newspapers and began to paint the white flower pot the same shade of blue as her house. Fitz had no idea how long he sat there watching Olivia, but he could do it for days. How could someone doing something so mundane as painting a flower pot make it so intriguing? Fitz knew he couldn't get out the car, he didn't have anything to say. He had no reason for being at her home besides the fact that he just wanted to see her. He knew for a fact that Olivia didn't want to see him, and knew she wouldn't be so happy that he'd stopped unannounced to her home. Instead he pulled out his phone and called his sister.
Tabitha answered on the second ring as if she'd been waiting by the phone for his call. "Hey Fitz are you okay?"
"Do you have her number?"
"What? Olivia's? You found her?"
"Do you have her number?"
"Yes but-"
"Call her."
"Fitz-"
"Call her and invite her to the charity event. Tell her you want to see her, tell her you want her to meet Theo. She won't come if I'm the one asking her to come, but she won't say no to you."
"Fitz I don't think that's a good idea."
"Tabitha please just do this for me, you owe me this. Call her… please."
He sounded so desperate Tabitha gave in. "Fine, but I'm not making any promises she'll come. Hang up and-"
"No. Three-way. I want to hear her voice."
"Fitz no. If you want me to call her fine, but you can't be on the other end. If she hears-"
"I won't say anything, I promise." A moment later, Fitz could hear Tabitha dialing Olivia's number and the ringing. It felt like it rang for an hour straight before she finally answered. Fitz felt just a little bit lighter, when he finally heard her voice.
"Hello."
"Hey Liv it's-"
"Tabitha! Hi how are you? How's the baby?"
"He's fine, great…perfect. Yesterday I was taking him a bath, and he passed gas in the tub and scared himself half to death."
Olivia's laugh was like music to Fitz's ears. "That's hilarious. I need to make a trip to come see him soon."
"Um, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. You know the charity thing you donated all that art and pictures for. Well the event is coming up and-"
"Tabitha."
"I want you to come."
"Tab-"
"Please Liv. I promise it'll be fun. Don't you want to see who buys your art? And don't you want to finally meet Theo."
"That's not fair."
"I know, low blow, but please say you'll come Liv."
"Tabitha…I'm not ready to see him yet."
Tabitha knew she wasn't talking about her son. She also knew Fitz was still on the other end, and knew that one must have hurt him. "I'm not asking you to come for him Liv, I really want to see you. Skype and in person are not the same things. And I know mother has been asking about you as well. It's going to be a huge party, you'll barely even have to see him." Olivia was silent on the other end, and Fitz was just about to give himself up and make his own plea for Olivia to come. Then she sighed,
"Fine. I'll come."
"Really? Yay! I'll make sure to put your name on the guest list, and email you all the details. You should stay for the weekend, I really want you to meet Theodore and we haven't had lunch together in ages, you can invite Alex too we'll make a day of it."
"That sounds great. I have to um…"
"I'll let you go. I'm so happy you said yes, I'm really looking forward to seeing you."
"Yeah me too. I'll see you then." Olivia hung up.
"Okay Fitz she's coming and I got you a weekend."
"Thank you."
"Now if she doesn't show up, that's not on me."
"I got it Tabitha." Fitz hung up his phone. He glanced back towards Olivia, she was still sitting on her steps staring down at her phone. He could tell she was already contemplating calling Tabitha back to cancel for the weekend. He really hoped she didn't. Deciding he should leave, before someone took suspicion to him, Fitz took one last look at Olivia before taking off.
X
Olivia gazed down at the phone in her hand. She looked up when a black car took off down the street, it looked familiar, but Olivia dismissed it. She was too worried about what she'd just done over the phone. How could she agree to willingly go to a party the she knew for a fact that Fitz would be attending as well. Olivia hadn't seen nor heard from Fitz in over a year, when she left New York.
Weeks after the two of them broke up, Fitz was constantly calling her and showing up at her home and job on the regular. He was basically on stalker status. Olivia ignored all his calls, and when he showed up at her job, she wouldn't let him passed the front desk. And when he came to the house, she wouldn't answer the door. She appreciated that he wasn't giving up on them so easily, but it was a lost cause. There was just no way she could forgive him so easily. Finally after weeks of the nonstop popup visits and calls, Olivia decided she needed a little break.
Flashback
"So you're really going to let a man run you out of New York." Alex said, following Olivia behind Olivia on her heel back and forth across her room.
"I'm not running, it's more like a light jog." Olivia said, going around her room, packing it up. She decided she needed to get away for a while. She'd bought a plan ticket to Africa, well several connecting flights that would eventually land her in Nigeria. She'd always wanted to go on an African Safari. She didn't know how long she would be gone, or where she would go when she left Africa, but she knew it probably wouldn't be back to New York. "I just need to get away for a while Alex. It's a vacation."
"If it's a vacation then why are you packing up your entire room? Why is all your stuff in boxes downstairs?"
"Because I think it's time I get a new place."
"You don't need a new place. You live here."
"Lex we're twenty-three, we're grown women. We don't need to be roommates anymore. I can afford a new place of my own, and you can afford this place by yourself now with your new job."
"Uh no I cannot, and I don't want to live by myself." Alex pouted. She'd never been alone before. She and Olivia had been together their entire lives. Of course they went to school together, they had the same friends and hung out with the same crowds. They were roommates in the same college. Even when they were little, they had their own rooms, but they would both sleep in each other's rooms in the same bed on most nights. Alex didn't know how to be on her own without Olivia.
"Well you can ask Quinn to move in with you. You can move into my room and she can take yours, or you both can stay in my room. I'm not entirely sure what your relationship is right now."
"Stop trying to change the subject. Liv I know things between you and Fitz are pretty shitty right now. But that's no reason to run halfway across the world."
"Again, I'm not running. I just don't want to be anywhere near him. And I can't be in this city right now, because everything reminds me of him. I see him everywhere, I'm thinking about him all the time… I am trying to not love him anymore and I can't do that if everywhere I look I see his face." Olivia swiped the single tear off her cheek. She'd told herself after a week straight of crying that that was it, no more crying over him.
"Liv…"
"I'll only be gone a month… or two. I won't be gone forever, I promise. I can't stay away from you that long. Do you want this?" Olivia held up a shoe rack. "You have more heels than I do." Olivia went back to the task of packing up all her things. She hadn't found a new place to stay yet, but she was going to put all her stuff in storage until she found a new place to stay when she got back. She was packing up her everything on her shelves, when her phone buzzed on her nightstand. It was Fitz yet again. Olivia hit the ignore button, and turned her phone on silent knowing his phone call would be followed by a voicemail and text message.
The next day Olivia changed her cell number, email and home phone number. A week later she was on a plane out of New York. The only people who knew she was leaving was her family, Marcus and the director of the center, because she'd quit both jobs. She didn't know Fitz knew about her leaving until a few days later, when Alex mention Fitz stopped by the brownstone again.
Alex was home going over her lesson for tomorrow's music class at the community center. The doorbell rang, and she figured it was Quinn. Nowadays, Quinn was with Alex more than she was at her own home. Alex was seriously contemplating asking her to move in with her like Olivia suggested. But when Alex opened the door, Fitz was standing on the other side.
Alex rolled her eyes and sighed deeply and clearly annoyed. "What do you want?" It was sort of a dumb question, because she knew what he was doing there and what he wanted. He wanted to see Olivia and he wanted her to forgive him. "You know what don't answer that, we both know why you're here. Olivia isn't here and she won't be for a while." Alex tried to shut the door, but Fitz wedge his foot in stopping her.
"What?"
"Olivia doesn't live here anymore. She's not even in the city."
"What do you mean?" Fitz asked confused.
"I mean she got on a plane and left. Seems getting over her fear of heights and airplanes is worth it if it gets her away from you."
"Where did she go?" Fitz asked desperately. Olivia had gotten on a plane and flew to God knows where just to get away from me?
Alex shook her head. "I'm not telling you."
"When will she get back?" Fitz asked instead.
"I'm not telling you that either." Honestly Alex didn't know when Olivia was coming back, because not even Olivia knew when she was coming back.
"Alex please. I just need to know where she went."
Alex folded her arms over she chest. "Why, so you and go stalk her there? How would your wife feel about that?"
"I'm not married anymore. I've been trying to tell Olivia that for weeks. If she would just answer my calls or listen to any one of my voicemail's or read one of my text messages she would know."
"She doesn't care anymore Fitz. It's too late for divorce papers, don't you get that? The damage has been done. You should've divorced your wife before you made my sister fall in love with you."
"I love her too Alex. Okay, this is hurting me too."
"Oh poor baby." Alex sneered. "You and your brother are just alike."
"My brother and I are not the same. I never cheated on Olivia, she was the only woman I was sleeping with when we were together."
"Yeah, but she wasn't the only woman you were with now was she?"
"Yes. Mellie and I were separated."
"Yeah well now you and Olivia are separated. She doesn't want to see you, she doesn't want to hear from you. She doesn't want your excuses or your apologies, she's done. Now fuck off and stop ringing my doorbell."
Present
Later that night, Olivia lay in her totally comfortable bed totally restless. Just the mention of Fitz's name and she couldn't sleep. He'd invaded her thoughts ever since her phone call with his sister. Olivia was still contemplating whether or not she would call Tabitha to cancel for that weekend. But then she realized that she couldn't hide from Fitz forever. She couldn't not see people just because of him. It was ridiculous that she hadn't seen Teddy in person yet, all because she didn't want to see Fitz. It was ridiculous that she didn't visit home as often because she was scared to run into him. She moved away so she would see him, although she loved Sag Harbor, she missed her family sometimes.
But that was it, she thought to herself. She would no longer let Fitzgerald Grant dictate her life, and he wasn't even a part of it anymore. It's been a year, almost two, which was long enough to get over a person. For all she knew he'd moved on. She hadn't gotten a phone call of email from him in months. And yes, she'd changed her number and email, but Olivia had a feeling, that if he really wanted it, Fitz would find a way to get it. Badgering his sister or mother would be his best bet. But Olivia had made both of them promise not to give her information out to Fitz and she knew Alex would never give it to him. Alex wouldn't do anything for a Grant man.
And Olivia wished she could hate Grant men as much as Alex did, but she couldn't. She would never say it out loud or admit it to anyone else, but she still loved one Grant man. As much as she tried to ignore and destroy her love for him, it just wouldn't go away. Olivia now knew what it felt like to truly love and be in love with someone. She'd loved others in the past, but she now knew she wasn't in love with any other them. But she knew for a fact that she was in love with Fitzgerald Grant and that love would probably never go away.
Olivia got up and went to one of her jewelry boxes on her dresser. She pulled the bottom from one of the boxes and pulled out a small jewelry box. She sat in her windowsill and gazed down at the ring in her hand. She did this often. Anytime she found herself thinking about him, she'd take out this ring and stare at it for as long as she needed. This was the ring Fitz had given her, when he took her away for a weekend at his home. It was the same ring she'd tried to give back to him the day they broke up. She'd waited until she heard the door closing to come out of her room. When she went back into the kitchen there was the ring, still sitting on the bar. He hadn't taken it, instead he left it there with a small note written on a napkin. I'm not giving up on us. Olivia kept that note, she kept the ring and all the pictures she had of herself and Fitz. She couldn't bring herself to get rid of any of them during her cleansing session she had with Alex.
They spent the day gathering everything Fitz had ever given Olivia, and got rid of it. Ripping up clothes and dresses, ripping the pages out of books he'd given her, taken a mallet to every piece of jewelry he'd bought. It was completely juvenile and uncalled for, but Olivia didn't care. It was therapeutic and made her feel so much better. But when Alex brought her the ring to smash and pictures to throw darts and splash paint on, Olivia couldn't do it.
She never wore the ring though. It stayed in its box, tucked in her jewelry box just as the pictures stayed in a cabinet in her work room upstairs. She had no idea why she kept them, or when she was going to get rid of them. But she didn't think it would be anytime soon. But she did know that she had to get herself together. If she reacted this way to just the mention of him, she had no idea how she was going to react when she saw him at that charity event. She couldn't let him know that she thought of him just about every day. She couldn't let him know that she still cared for him, and thought about his well-being often. She had to come off cool calm and collected as if her life was much better without him.
X
The next day Olivia got up early. She took a shower, got dressed, ate a short breakfast and walked into town. She was excited about today. Today she was setting up her gallery with the help of her three employees and Alex was making the drive out to meet them. Olivia was obviously excited because her dream was finally coming true. In a matter of weeks, people from all over would come to the Wonderland gallery, looking to buy original pieces by yours truly. That was a real mind blow.
When Olivia got to the gallery, she was pleased to see her employees already present in their workout clothes, ready to get everything set up. She was also pleased to see her sister there, knowing Alex must've gotten up pretty early to make the drive to Sag Harbor and beat her there. Quinn was there as well, which was a shock because she'd originally told Olivia she couldn't make it.
"There she is. Can I have your autograph before you become famous and forget about me?" Quinn joked when Olivia walked in the building.
"Ha-ha." Olivia gave Quinn a quick side hug. "Thanks for coming."
"You're welcome." Quinn clapped her hands together. "Now, where do I start?"
"Andy, Macy and Jo I need you all to unwrap and unpack all the furniture. I had the moving guys put them where I want them to go, so all you have to do is unpack it. But please keep it in the right area. I have everything where I want it all to go. Alex and Quinn, you're with me."
For the next few hours, everyone worked hard to get their perspective jobs done. Andy, Macy and Jo worked to get all the furniture unwrapped and put in their right places. Olivia liked all three of her employees. They were all young, energetic and artist themselves. Olivia met Andy through a mutual friend. And Macy was fresh out of college with an art history major and Joanne, who they all called Jo, was still a senior in college. She was a bright eyed, energetic little bee that brought a lot of life to the party.
While those three were working on the furniture, Olivia, Alex and Quinn were working on one wall. Olivia wanted one wall full of pictures, basically a memory wall. Most of them were pictures of her recent travels, but she also had a bunch of pictures of her with some very important and cool people. They got done way after Macy, Andy and Jo finished their work and left. They would've been done sooner, if Olivia hadn't kept changing her mind about how she wanted things.
"Alright that's it. I'm calling it." Alex flopped down on one of the chairs in the room. "Olivia you've changed this arrangement three times, and you've changed that particular picture twice. I am not doing this again."
"Okay, I think I like the way it is now."
"You better, because I'm not helping you change it again. Who are all these people anyway?"
"A lot of important people I've met. I figured if people saw this when they came in, they'd think I was the real deal and they'd actually buy something at a ridiculous price."
"You are the real deal Olivia." Alex corrected.
"Yeah, they don't just feature just plain old anybody's in Vogue and Elle magazine." Quinn added. Last month Olivia was featured in a four page Elle magazine spread. And she was going to be in the March issue of Vogue. "That doesn't just happen every day Liv."
"Yeah I know. And it's really my publicist who's making that happen. She's really working for her paycheck." Her publicist really was good. She was exceeding Olivia's expectations in every way. "Alright you guys ready to get out of here?"
"Yes!" Alex shouted. "I need a shower and a bed, because I am funky and sleepy." Alex and Quinn were staying with Olivia for the weekend.
"I need to stop by the market first."
"Ugh! Can't you do that later?"
"Well if you all are planning on staying with me and you hope to eat, then I need to go to the market."
After a quick stop at the market, the three of them headed back to Olivia's house. Olivia was busy putting all the groceries away, while Quinn sat at the island eating from a bowl of strawberries. She'd already showered, and was lounging in an oversized shirt and a towel wrapped around her wet hair. Alex was in the shower now, but neither Olivia nor Quinn expected her back anytime soon. Alex was notorious for taking unnecessarily long showers.
"So, I hear you heard from Fitz recently." Quinn said, biting into another juicy strawberry.
"Does Alex tell you all of my business?" Olivia asked, putting the apple jacks cereal in a cabinet way too high for her. She had to stand on a small step ladder to reach most of her cabinets in her kitchen.
"Only the non-boring parts." Quinn giggled. "So, spill."
"Well I didn't hear from Fitz." Olivia scooped up some dog food and put it in the two dishes in her mud room. Second later, her two Dalmatians came rushing into the room. Pongo came first, followed by Dipstick. He was a new addition to the family, a rescue dog from the pound. Olivia named him dipstick, because he had a black tip on his tail just like the dog in 101 Dalmatians. Olivia refilled their water bowls and went back to the kitchen. "It was his sister that called."
"Tabitha? What'd she want?"
"To invite me to this party thing. A benefit to raise money for kids with bum hearts. I donated a bunch of art pieces to be sold off and she wants me to come."
"Will Fitz be there?" Quinn asked curiously.
"More than likely. It's his family's annual thingy."
"Are you going to go?"
"Well I already told Tabitha yes, but I'm seriously thinking about calling her to cancel."
"What? Why?" Quinn asked. She wanted more than anything for Olivia to go. She was team Olivia and Fitz, although she would never tell Alex that. She was anti Grant all the way. But Quinn secretly wished that Olivia and Fitz could work things out. After Alex told her what happened between the two of them, Quinn was pissed as well. But after a while, she started to feel a little bit of sympathy for Fitz. Especially after he told her his side of the story, when he came looking for Olivia at the brownstone one day. He'd just looked so pitiful and miserable, definitely not the hard and sharp businessman she was used to seeing.
"Because I'm not ready to see him Quinn. I don't want to see him."
"That's a lie and you know it. You know you miss him, you think about that man every day."
"No, I used to. And I'm at the point now, where I don't think about him every minute of every day. And seeing him will only reverse all that progress."
"What progress?"
"To not loving him anymore."
"Well that's not gonna happen, ever. No matter how hard you try. You can't just fall out of love with someone, it doesn't work that way. You can hate him all you want, but there will always be a small spot in your heart reserved for him."
Olivia knew Quinn was right. It'd been over a year now, and Olivia still loved Fitz just the same. She may hate him right now, but that didn't stop her from loving him. What if she never found another man who made her feel as special and cared for as Fitz did? What if she never felt this intense love for another man? Could she ever find herself another Fitz?
"Who are we gossiping about?" A freshly showered Alex came into the kitchen in an oversized shirt matching Quinn, and her damp hair pulled up in a bun on top of her head.
"Olivia." Quinn answered. "And this benefit party the Grant's are hosting. She wants to call and cancel, but I think she should go."
Alex sat down on a wooden bar stool beside Quinn. "As much as I loathe the Grant name, I agree with Quinn. You should go."
"What?" That was a shocker. "Why?"
"Because look how amazing you're doing right now. You didn't run to food after the breakup and gain fifty pounds while you cried over him day after day. Look at you, you've traveled around the world and met some amazing people. How many people get to say they're friends with Christian Louboutin and have a personalized, custom pair of shoes. Not many."
"Well I don't really think friends is the word I'd use-"
"Olivia he calls you by first name and gives you free shoes. You're friends. And you've got your own photography studio and you have your own art gallery opening in a matter of weeks and you did it without him. You need to go shove that in his face and tell him to suck it." Quinn rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"What?" Olivia was confused.
"Ignore her." Quinn said. "Liv go or don't go, it's up to you. But personally I think you should go. Because if you don't you will always wonder about what could've happen had you gone. And you don't like regrets."
Olivia thought for a moment. Once again, Quinn was right, how did she always know what to say? Olivia would always wonder about what could've happened had she gone to the party. And she didn't like to live with regrets. Life was too short to live with regrets.
"I'm gonna go take a shower." Olivia said, instead of answering the tow of them. "I have a client coming in about thirty minutes, but she just lives next door so she will probably be early. If I'm not down when she comes, just tell her to have a seat and I'll be a minute."
"You still doing private work for these bored housewives." Alex asked.
"Yes, and they are not bored housewives." Olivia said going up the steps to her room.
Laurel was Olivia's neighbor and a good friend of hers. She was one of the first real friends Olivia made when she moved to Sag Harbor. Laurel was a sweet woman only two years older than Olivia. She was married with three kids and another on the way. She has this tradition of taking before and after pictures when she gets pregnant. And tonight Olivia was going to take a before picture of Laurel and turn it into a painting. There was a machine that could do it a lot faster, but Olivia liked to do it by hand. The reward is so much better when you do something by hand.
Olivia use to do a lot of work for most of the families in town. It started off with just family portraits at her studio. But after Olivia started getting jobs for magazine photo shoots and got some big name clients, then she started to get request from people wanting her to do other things. Special photos, just for their spouse's eyes. Special holiday or birthday calendars for their husbands. And some of the bolder women just wanted a picture of themselves in lingerie to hang up in their homes. And then when people found out she could paint, her business really started to boom. Olivia had already made a small fortune here in Sag Harbor had made quite a name for herself with some really important people. But now she had gotten too busy to do the work herself, since she was on a plane most of the time flying to another job. So she had her employees handle things now
Just about every house in Sag Harbor had a painting hanging somewhere that Olivia painted. She quickly became a little celebrity around town. People not only loved her for her artistic abilities, but also because she was a genuinely nice person. Olivia went out of her way to make sure she knew her neighbors and every shop owner in town. It was a small place to live, so everyone knew everyone.
So addition to doing portraits, she also did paintings from time to time. Olivia had converted her guest house behind her house into a studio for private sessions with clients who preferred not to go to her studio in town. Most of the photo shoots she did in her guest house were a little bit racy and some just down right dirty. But Olivia didn't judge, she loved all forms of art, and hey, it was another check in her pocket.
Now although most the people in Sag Harbor loved Olivia, not all of them did. There were a bunch of rumors spread around, by a bunch of housewives, that Olivia was having an affair with a bunch of her married male clientele. And that she used the studio behind her home for sex parties and filming porno. Olivia just laughed every time she heard those rumors, because it was so far from the person she was, she couldn't help but laugh. Orgies? Seriously? Olivia had only slept with one man her entire life and she was twenty-three years old when it happened. But not everyone believed the rumors, because they knew the real Olivia.
X
Hudson Mayer walked up to Olivia's door around five that afternoon with a box of her favorite popcorn balls from his family's business. He could've had the store send it to her, or had Olivia pick it up herself, but that wouldn't guarantee he would see her. It was no secret that Hudson Mayer had an enormous crush in Olivia Pope. Everyone in town knew it, including Olivia herself. The day she moved to Sag Harbor, Hudson was all over her. He made sure he was one of the first people she met and befriended. He wanted to make it known that Olivia was on his hook and no one else's. But after months of sending her hint after hint with nor response back and a shopping trip for curtains, Hudson finally realized he'd been banished to the friend zone. But that didn't mean he'd stop pursuing Olivia. He wouldn't stop until he was able to call her his.
Hudson smooth his hair back, and knocked on the door. He heard the TV going, and could see two females sitting on the couch through the window on the door.
"Laurel?" He heard Olivia yell. He stepped off the porch and onto the steps to see Olivia hanging her head out her bedroom window.
"Nope it's just me."
"Oh. Hey Hudson. Hang on a sec."
Hudson could hear Olivia yelling for someone to open the door, and a moment later the door swung open revealing a female in a big shirt and curly hair. She was almost a dead ringer for Olivia.
"Um, hello." Hudson said awkwardly.
"Sup."
"I'm Hudson Mayer, a friend of Olivia's."
"I know who you are Mr. Mayer. Olivia talks about you all the time."
"She does?" Hudson asked eagerly.
"Easy tiger. So you going to come in or what. I assume that package is for Olivia." Alex opened the door wider for Hudson to come in. When Hudson walked in the door, he was met by another female dressed similarly to the first one. It seemed either one of them were shy about their barely there wardrobe in front of male company. If he wasn't so hell bent on making Olivia his, he'd have two more options laid out in front of him.
"Hudson hey." Olivia came down the steps dressed in a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a loose cotton shirt. Hudson returned the hug Olivia gave him, appreciating the apricot smell of her body wash. "What are you doing here?"
Hudson held up the box in his hands. "Special delivery."
Olivia gasped excitedly. "Are those my popcorn orders?"
"Yes ma'am they are."
"Yay!" Olivia took the box from Hudson and sat it down on her island to open it.
"Since when do owners start making deliveries?" Alex asked. She was picking with Hudson, she knew exactly why he chose to delivery Olivia's order himself. "I'm sure you've got employees for that."
"Yes we do, but I was heading this way back home anyway. I figured you'd like your order sooner than later."
"Mmm, you were right." Olivia had already opened the box and was eating one of the molasses and bacon popcorn balls. They were her favorite, her second favorite were the jalapeño and cheddar. "Thank you. Oh I'm sorry, this is my sister Alex and uh… our friend Quinn." Olivia wasn't sure what to call Quinn since she wasn't sure about their relationship. "They're staying with me for the weekend."
"Nice to meet you both." Hudson shook both their hands. "I can see the resemblance."
"We're twins." Olivia informed him.
"Ah, makes a lot of sense."
"Knock Knock." Everyone turned to the door to see Laurel standing there. "Am I early?"
"Only by a little come on in."
"Hey Hudson, what are you doing here?"
"Just dropping off another delivery for Olivia."
"You ordered more of those damn popcorn balls?" Laurel asked.
"I can't help it."
"Well Liv, I'll get out of your hair now and let you do your thing." Hudson said, making his way to the door. He would've liked to stay longer, but with all the extra company Olivia had over he didn't feel it was best.
"Okay. Thanks again H."
Hudson smiled back at Olivia. He loved when she called him that. No one else had ever called him H before, it was a special name reserved only for Olivia. "No problem. It was nice meeting you two, and nice seeing you again Laurel."
Hudson walked out the door, closing it behind himself. "Did you see that smile when you called him H?" Laurel asked with a goofy smirk. "Jesus that man is head over hills for you."
Olivia waved her off. "He is not."
"Oh please, he's in love with you and everyone sees it but you. Who else gets personal deliveries from the popcorn king himself? And he's always adding extra stuff in your orders. He's always over here just 'stopping by'." Laurel said with air quotes.
"And didn't you tell me you two went shopping for drapes the other day?" Alex asked.
"Yes, because we are just friends." Olivia did consider them just friends, Olivia has never had any romantic feelings toward Hudson. Not that he wasn't a charming guy he was. He was very good looking, dark chocolate covered skin, dimples as deep as the Grand Canyon, great height, even better body and a bright beautiful smile. He was also extremely smart, kind and funny. And as a plus, he loved animals. But still, Olivia has never felt anything beyond a friendship with Hudson. And she didn't see herself changing her mind anywhere in the future.
"Mhm. You may just be friends, but that man wants a piece of your cherry pie."
Olivia playfully rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Let's go before I change my mind."
X
After hours of working on Laurel's painting with the pictures they'd taken before, Olivia finally decided to call it a night. She was upstairs in loft area that could've been another bedroom, but Olivia turned it into her art room instead. It was the only room in the house that was sort of a mess. When Olivia moved into her home, she made a promise to herself that she would try to stay organized. She didn't want her house to be a complete mess. This room was the only room she allowed herself to be a little messy. It wasn't a total wreck though. She knew where everything was. She had plenty of cabinets and cupboards for all of her things. But that didn't keep things from getting messy.
Olivia was putting her things away, when a box in the back of her closet caught her attention. She kept that box way in the back so she'd rarely see it, and almost never took it out. The reason being, because every time she did take that box out the closet she ended crying. Still, even knowing she'd be crying very shortly Olivia pulled that box out from the back of the closet. And sat it on one of her desks.
"Why are you doing this Olivia?" She asked herself, popping the lid off the box. "Fudge." Olivia whispered, gazing down at the box of photos. It was every picture she had of herself and Fitz. Every picture that Alex wanted to cut up and shred during their cleaning spree, but Olivia wouldn't let her. She rarely looked in this box, it was like the ring she kept hidden away. It was one of the last pieces of Fitz she had and she couldn't let them go.
Olivia pulled out a picture of her and Fitz on their trip to Aspen. It was during a carriage ride they took back to their hotel after dinner at a restaurant. They were both smiling hard, Olivia's nose was red from the cold wind and Fitz's cheeks were rosy. Olivia remembered that night like it was yesterday. The two of them enjoyed an amazing Italian dinner with plenty of wine, laughs and stolen kisses. Olivia's skin warmed remembering all the sweet kisses and nips to her neck Fitz delivered throughout that meal.
Olivia was glad they were in semi secluded area, or else a lot of people would've gotten a peek at a private scene between the two. Olivia had kept up with him as long as she could, but after a while she couldn't take the teasing anymore. That night Fitz made love to Olivia slowly all night long. He worshiped her body, and made her feel like she was the only woman in the world. And when he finally let her up for air, he held her tightly in his arms while she fell asleep.
Olivia took out another picture of Fitz's half sleeping face. Olivia had woken him up with breakfast in bed, which was really toast and jam and coffee, because she couldn't cook to save her life. When she'd gone into the room that morning, Fitz was on his belly hanging halfway off the edge. He was tired from a long day at work, so tired that he didn't even take off his suit before he plopped down on the bed. Olivia had to undress him to his boxers, which took forever, then she fell asleep beside him.
Olivia laughed remembering how grumpy Fitz was when she woke him up that morning. He'd been so cute with his pouting lips and bed head that Olivia couldn't help but take his picture. A tear rolled down Olivia's cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. She wasn't going to dissolve into tears this time. Olivia put the pictures back in the box and shoved it back into the closet.
That night Olivia made up her mind about going to the benefit. She would definitely be there. But not for the reasons Alex gave, but because there were some loose ends he needed to tie up before she could really move on from Fitz. She just hoped she'd be able to achieve that goal and not get distracted by seeing Fitz for the first time in over a year.
X
Catch You later...