authorsnote: hot damn that was a rollercoaster to write.

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songrecs: lovely - billie eillish, khalid

Morning came too quickly.

Over and over again she played the fight with Ron over in her head, his harsh words, Tom's vicious response, the look Harry and Ginny had given her as they'd walked away, as she'd walked away.

They'd turned one way, she the other, the choice made.

And now she was here, in the Slytherin dorm, surrounded by her enemies, the curtains drawn around Tom's bed, hiding her from view, and yet she'd never felt more vulnerable, in the snake pit.

Sure, they'd all nodded their heads to her, not a bad word for her, but she knew it was false. They hadn't actually changed their views, hadn't had some radical shift of thinking, they were all just terrified of Tom.

And she could see why.

The way he had flicked his wand without effort, his hissed words, the dark look in his eye, you'd be a fool not to be scared.

Was she a fool?

As he'd put an arm around her shoulder when she'd turned away, and she had followed, tucking into his side, allowing herself to be cuddled into him, sure, she was usually independent, stomping down the corridors, but in this instance, she'd allowed herself to curl into him, to hide her gaze, to let him lead her down the corridors, ignoring the gaping stares of the other students.

She'd just followed along, not even blinking as he steered her into the Slytherin common room. She didn't see the glare he shot at anyone who looked at her, didn't see the other Slytherin 7th years, his little gang quickly spreading the word that yes this was happening, and no don't even try to say anything, didn't see any of it, just clung to him as he swept her up to the dorm.

And here she was, hours later, the other inhabitants asleep, Tom included, but she? Unable to drift off for a second.

Hermione just kept replaying the moments in her mind, Ron's look of betrayal, Harry's worry, Ginny's shock and upset. All of them expecting her to condemn Tom, to chew him out and to follow them back to Gryffindor Tower, always with them; loyal, one of the key Gryffindor traits, something she'd always considered herself to be.

She thought of the definition in her head: Loyal, adjective – giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. Synonyms: Faithful, true, devoted.

Was that her? It had been, always loyal to Harry, to Ron, to Gryffindor, to good, but now?

What had Tom done to her? What had she allowed to be done?

Had she wanted it?

She'd followed him without question, without any real pause, he had beckoned and she had followed, made the choice and took it, what did that mean? She was fairly confident Ron might never speak to her again, Ginny she was unsure, Harry she knew would still care for her, but whereas she was like family, Ron was his family, the Weasley's, intertwined, Ron his best guy friend, she his best girl friend, which ranked higher?

She felt a twisting in her gut, her heart pounding in her chest. What had she done?

Ron had been in the wrong, to berate her like that, to stick his nose in where it didn't belong, to be mean, yes. However, he had been coming from a good place, that was true. Had Tom overreacted? Yes, but she could also see why. Ron had been treating her like a doormat, had questioned their relationship, of course Tom had stepped in.

It was like a schoolboy fight, fists thrown, and insults yelled over a girl, just on a mega scale, and Ron hadn't even thrown a punch, hadn't had a chance too.

All over her.

She'd never expected this. She was bushy haired, ink-stained fingers Hermione, buck toothed most of her life, head in a book, no real relationship pre-Tom, never an object of desire, what had changed?

She did mull, she'd had a crush on Ron, but had died really as soon as Tom had shown interest in her, and Ron had never suggested he had a crush on her. What had changed? Or was he just looking out for her?

So many questions, and for once she had no answers, her head spinning, aching.

Hermione had no idea what would happen when she emerged tomorrow, where her friendships would lie, who she'd have left.

An arm curled around her waist then, Tom pulling her close, and she turned into him, burying her head into his chest, his arms circling her, tucking her in close to him.

She had Tom.

Come morning it was proved that might be all she had.

She woke, the dorm had emptied out bar her and Tom, and considering it was only 7:30am she presumed that was deliberate. Welcome all the same, but strange.

How much of a hold did Tom have in Slytherin? A significant amount it seemed. She was surprised by that, as far as she was aware Tom was a pureblood, but not from one of the historic British families.

But then he had power at his fingertips she'd never seen on another, bar perhaps Dumbledore. She supposed that was why he'd transferred to their school and was now ruling the men who would likely rule Wizarding Britain one day, he'd swooped in and taken power, with his power.

Hermione knew she'd need to think on that some more, what he intended to do with the power he could and likely would hold, but for now? For now, she had more pressing issues at hand.

Issues that kept her silent as she hurried into the shower, Tom leaving her to it, knowing how much she had to think on, she was thankful for that, she wasn't sure how much more could be jammed into her currently overstuffed mind, not with how many thoughts were vying for attention.

The flow of the shower helped, the warm air clearing her head a touch, and she let out a little moan of satisfaction as the warm water worked over her shoulders. She'd slept poorly, better when Tom had pulled her close but still poorly, the shower helped.

The person climbing into the shower, also.

"Tom?" She said as he stepped inside, as naked as she. "What are you doing?"

He didn't answer, just pressed his lips to hers, backing her up to the shower wall, his hands slotting onto her waist neatly and easily, like a puzzle piece how they fit so perfectly.

"Tom" She moaned a little, but wriggled against him, pulling free, "I don't know, I'm not sure I'm in the mood" She wasn't sure, yes between her legs was already responding to him, always ready as soon as he put his hands on her, but her mind was not ready to disconnect and let go enough to enjoy it, rock, hard place.

"Shhh" He offered, gentle hands sweeping up her sides, "You're so tense you might break Hermione, let me destress you" He said, though he clearly wasn't asking.

She did roll her eyes at that, "How noble of you"

"Always" He said with one of his signature smirks, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips before he dropped to his knees, and then, then … then she had no further protest.

Soon enough she was screaming into the back of her hand, her head back against the shower wall, the stream of water doing something to muffle her moaning but not enough, though in the moment she didn't care who heard. Tom kept her pinned in place with his hands as he licked, kissed, sucked and even at one point bit her there, little shrieks of pleasure leaving her lips.

When he added a finger, and then another, and even a third, she exploded.

Everything went white, a high pitched, babbled scream leaving her lips as she saw stars, fireworks, and every single bone in her body seemed to slump down, the tension finally dissipating from her, and she felt then as though she could sleep for a week, her body near jelly.

And yet, Tom was not done.

Hermione had no protest though as he quickly hitched her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, her hands finding his wet hair. She knew they would be late for breakfast at this rate, but who cared? She was already dreading it, this was better, much, much better to indulge in.

Indulge she did.

He slid home inside of her as soon as he lifted her up, and sensitive as she was, the little whimper that left her lips only gave way to more. He was hurried, frenzied, not gentle now, pushing into her, her back slamming against the wall, her fingernails drawing blood from his back as she clung on. She knew people could likely hear, hear Tom's groans against her neck, her whimpers and moans echoing across the shower stall, but she didn't care, didn't care at all, it felt far too good to worry about any of that.

"Don't stop, don't stop" She whimpered out, "Gods Tom" She whined against him, especially as his hand came between them, his thumb found her little nub and rubbed, just as he knew she liked it.

And she was exploding a second time. A strangled cry leaving her lips, and he smothered it with his, tongues and teeth clashing, her fingers digging hard into his back, one hand finding his hair and tugging, not letting him go. He groaned in response and she felt him spill inside of her, filling her up, warm and deep, little pants leaving her lips as she came down, came down from such a high she felt like she was crashing.

It took a good minute for both of them to catch their breath, for both of their heartrates to slow, and then Hermione pulled her head back, to look at Tom, who had rested his on her shoulder, but lifted it to meet her gaze.

"Hi" She offered with a little grin, the weight that had been on her shoulders all night and morning eased a bit, the delicious pleasure shared between them easing something inside of her, slipping through her skin and making everything seem just a touch better.

She still had consequences to face, still had problems that would only get worse before the day was out, but for a moment, just a moment, it had been better.

"Hi" He repeated back with a smirk, and he clearly resisted rolling his eyes, "Good morning"

"Good morning" She repeated in kind, a little giggle leaving her lips, she'd never felt so good after feeling so bad, it was an odd feeling, like she was a yoyo on a string yanked back, not one she'd want constantly, but for this morning was what she needed.

Things did feel lighter as they washed, dressed, and she tried to tame her hair. "Awful thing" She mumbled under her breath, as the curls refused to comply with a brush or a wand, or anything.

"I like your hair" Tom said in response, as he knotted his tie. Of course he needed to do no grooming, he just looked fantastic without even trying, bastard.

"Don't lie" She said with a frown, "It's nice when I do something to it"

"No" Tom said then, and she paused, "Leave it as it is, free and curly"

"Really?"

Then she felt lighter as he nodded, took her bag and they departed.

Until she reached the Great Hall.

Everyone looked at them. Sure, when they'd left Hogsmeade together and word had spread fast they were dating, many people had watched them? But now? All eyes were on them as they entered.

The expressions were a mixture of curiosity, hostility, disbelief and in a few worry.

She wasn't sure which was worse.

"Sit with me" He said, as he tucked her close, he liked that, she noted, tucking her into him, close to his side, and she fit perfectly.

He laughed as she scrunched up her face, not a proper laugh, he didn't do that, nor the rare sincere smile she'd seen from him, not out in public, not unless it was just them.

She liked that in a way, his real smiles were saved for her.

"No" Hermione said with a shake of her head, she couldn't see Harry or Ron at the table, which both made her feel a bit better, and worried her. She knew she needed to talk to them, both of them, they were her best friends, she couldn't avoid them forever, nor did she want to.

She just had no idea how it was going to turn out, and that scared her. She usually had all the answers, now she had none.

"No, I need to speak to them" She said, and she missed the darkening look in Tom's eyes, gone the second she turned to him, "I need to make it right"

"They need to make it right" He shot back, "Remember Ron started things"

It was her turn to roll her eyes then, "We're not children"

"No" Tom said, and there was something in his voice, a bite, a warning, "We're not"

"Don't worry" She said, acutely aware everyone continued to stare, as they'd stopped by the doors, she ignored them, or tried to, "Its Arithmancy first thing, we'll talk then"

He nodded, and Hermione felt a little struck; Tom did care for her, she knew that, but he felt protective over her too. That notion had her reaching up, placing a kiss to his cheek, screw the onlookers, it was worth it especially as Tom offered her not quite a smile, before letting her go.

Letting her go to make way to the Gryffindor table, to which she made it three steps before she was waylaid.

"What the…" She began, until she realised it was Harry, Ginny, Luna, Neville, and Ron grabbing her hauling her straight back out of the Hall. They'd timed it perfectly to Tom's back being turned to the Slytherins greeting him, to haul her away.

"What the hell are you guys doing" She near cursed as they hurried around the corner, out of sight. Straightening up she flipped her hair out of her face to look at her friends.

They didn't look angry, or cold as she'd expected, just worried. "We need to talk" Harry said first, and Hermione raised an eyebrow, even Ron looked sympathetic, that had something akin to worry dancing up her spine, what had happened?

"What's going on?" She asked, all tension from the night before somehow forgotten as she stepped in, closer, creating a little circle as they often did, though it was 5 now, not 3, what had happened?

"We found something out" Ginny offered, and she patted Hermione's arm, "But not here"

"The Room of Requirement?" Harry suggested, and they all nodded, Hermione didn't hesitate to follow. These were her friends, she trusted them completely, even after what had happened the night before, what confused her was that no one mentioned it, not as they hurried across the courtyard, not as they ran up the stairs, Harry's map in hand, uncaring that breakfast was finishing, and lessons would be soon.

There were no accusations of disloyalty, no fury, not on either side, Hermione too worried about what was going on, and her friends evidently with bigger worries than what had happened the day before.

Dread began to chase up her neck, like an ominous feeling that came before something big. The calm before the storm, the water before the poison, dread before fear.

Once inside, she turned to them immediately. The Room had turned out like the DA classroom they'd used, a comfort, and yet all of the tension that had left her earlier was back, her shoulders almost near her ears. This reaction she hadn't expected, and that had her the most worried of all.

"What is happening?" She asked, hands even shaking now, so much so Ginny took one, their fingers locking. Ron looked guilty, Harry worried, Luna even tense, god, she waited, waited, "For goodness sake.." She began.

"Tom is not who he says he is" Harry said, clearly, he'd been nominated to deliver the news.

"If this is another attack…" She began, glancing at Ron who had the good grace to blush, that she hadn't expected either.

"That was only because I was worried" Ron shot back, "As I had reason to be"

"What?"

"He's not a transfer student" Ginny surged forward, her cheeks red.

"He's not from abroad" Neville said, expression apologetic.

"Who is he?" Hermione said, her mind racing, even faster than she could remember, and Harry gripped her other hand then, as they shook, as she near felt her knees buckle. What were they saying?

"We don't know" Luna said, her voice not so sing songy now, "That is the worry"

Fuck.

Did she have Tom? Who was he? She sunk to the floor, and they followed, cushions appearing at the Room's request, all of them sunk down, silent for a moment.

Explanations would begin soon, a day of skipped classes, research, worry, but for now, they just sat, Harry's hand threading through Luna's, Luna's to Neville's, to Ron's and then back to Ginny, to her, to Harry, a circle, the six of them, who had been through much already, back together again.

And yet she felt like someone was missing, Tom, but if it were true, he was the concern, her concern.

Though not just that, as she'd come to realise, he was far bigger a problem than just hers.

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