*A/N: Sorry about that long wait. I appreciate everyone who continues to read and leave such wonderful reviews. Ya'all really are rockstars! Keep it up. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. This chapter has been edited by my Beta Casey.*
The trees danced, fluttering in the warm, stifling breeze. The scent of the coming Autumn was a thick presence in the air, and my overheated skin was sticky. The strands of hair that escaped my braid clung to the nape of my neck. I picked uncomfortably at the itchy gown that was weighing me down as we proceeded toward the village. Our pace was slow and filled with silent uneasiness. Niklaus quickly led the way, and I was more than happy to let him. He hadn't spared me a single glance since my earlier explanation, and with his insistent need to avoid me, I had yet to fill him in on how things would work. It wasn't like we had time traveled, and I was afraid that he expected us to slip into our past selves — living our lives as we once had. As we proceeded into the woods, our silent steps caught my attention. I slowed my stride, lifting my gown to glance down at my grey booted feet. I kicked up my spotless right heel, cocking my head to the side in thought, and looked down at the wet mossy ground. Our shoes (which should have been covered in broken earth) were as clean now as they had been when we appeared. I turned my head, glancing behind us, and just as I had expected — we left no tracks. Ahead of me, Niklaus was still ambling forward, his boots noiselessly pressing into the wet earth, leaving behind nothing in their wake. I absently wondered if he noticed. I kept my gaze on his back as I dropped my gown, continuing to follow behind him. His gait was stiff and controlled. The muscles in his back were taut. It left me wondering exactly what was on his mind. I didn't expect him to believe me entirely at this point. I knew him well enough to know he was still too paranoid to believe anything without firm proof — proof that he would need to see with his own two eyes. After everything he'd been through, I couldn't exactly blame him for his paranoia. What had happened, or rather what was happening on the outside, wasn't anything less than I had expected. Seeing me alive again was never easy for those who had loved and lost me, but for the Mikaelsons, it was always far worse. For Niklaus, well…I could only imagine. I didn't blame him for lashing out and never would. His anger was indeed something to behold, and I could understand it as easily as I could any other part of him. As the Original Hybrid, he had both the temper of a werewolf and the amplified anger of an abused man — one pushed into becoming a vampire. He definitely got the short end of the stick.
The low hum of multiple voices met my ears, and I lifted my head as the tree line parted, revealing our village. A large fence barred entrance, and a few men were scattered about the fenceline — bows strapped to their backs. They paced casually, laughter filling the air as they chatted back and forth, eyes scanning the perimeter occasionally. I took a small step forward, a shaky hand coming up to meet my heavily beating heart. I glanced out across my home, a new yearning and fear I had not felt for a very long time finding a place in the pit of my stomach. No matter the centuries that separated me from this time and place, I would forever recognize its beauty. When looking out at the small village nestled in the heart of the forest, a smile overtook my lips. Although the wooden huts that lined the dirt road were all the same dull brown, it did little to diminish their natural elegance. It indeed was a picturesque sight. Most of the huts had their doors and windows open to allow in the fresh afternoon breeze. Makeshift clotheslines and bountiful gardens occupied the attention of the never idle women. My gaze followed the main dirt road, up the hill was the center of the village, which was occupied by tiny shops where people like my mother and Ayanna could sell their spelled goods— at least before the creation of vampires and the newfound fear of magic had begun.
It was midday, so the village wasn't nearly as busy as it would be later in the evening. Most of the men were still out hunting, which left the woman to cook, clean, and create what was needed to survive the harsh coming winter. I slowly approached Niklaus where he stood, stock still — hand pressed against the bark of a nearby tree. I couldn't tell if he had drawn a breath of relief or not. We weren't alive after all; we were but spectators in my memory. My hand hesitated an inch from his rigid shoulder, and I shakily debated if it was the right moment to attempt a connection. I mentally berated myself; I was a coward. Pulling back, I sighed, clamping my hand closed tightly as I brought it to my side.
"Nik, are you ready? I should be on my way back to the house to meet Rebekah. I mean...well, past me should be on her way to meet Rebekah," I said, scrunching up my face.
Niklaus turned around, his brow cocked, and glanced down at my confused expression. I wiggled my nose in irritation as I thought over how utterly annoying this would all probably become. I could feel myself blush as he continued to stare down at me. The skin around his eyes crinkled as he took in my face with the same intensity one would expect for calculating a complex equation. As I watched him study me, his lips pulled down, and a grimace swiftly passed over his face. I could see darkness cloud his eyes as he turned his focus from me, gaze rising to lock with the village.
"Will she be able to see me?" he asked, his accented voice wrapping around me as easily as satin.
I felt irrational anger surge through me as I followed his gaze, watching the villagers scurry about. I wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation; I was jealous of myself. With my nails digging into the palms of my hands, I looked up into his eyes.
"Nik, we're in my memory, so no...I will not be able to see you. We are just on a ride through my...our past," I said, cracking a strained smile.
He sarcastically chuckled, but I could sense there was less of a fight there than before. "We shall see," he said.
I couldn't stop the little triumphant smile that quirked the edge of my lips. I jerked my head toward the growing hum of voices. "I can work with that. Shall we, Mr. Mikaelson?" I said.
Niklaus sighed, his irritation masking something more — what I had yet to figure out. Taking my arm, he brought me to his side, gently pulling me forward. The warmth of his body seeped through the thick fabric of my gown, and I was momentarily caught up in the familiar feel of his body. The woodsy scent of his skin sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine. I fought against the urge to lay my head on his shoulder to better breathe him in. Like the earth and the wolf residing inside him, there had always been a rough edge to his scent. That, along with something fresh and sensual layered just beneath it. I turned my head as far away from him as I could to regain control of my emotions as he led me into the village.
When we finally stepped onto the main road, it was like something in my mind clicked. Memories started flooding forward, smacking me in the face. The smells in the air were something I was both grateful for and glad to have forgotten. The fact that I could no longer smell Niklaus was a blessing in disguise. With his scent gone, the painful pit in my stomach was diminishing. Still, without it, all I was left with was the disgusting smell that lingered in the air during time periods without proper plumbing — something I was happy to have forgotten until now.
I slowly lifted my fingers to my nose, grimacing slightly against the putrid stench. My eyes stung, and I blinked away tears, hating myself for the vivid recollection of so many details. Niklaus chuckled beside me, and my attention was momentarily captured by the curve of his full lips. Unconsciously he pulled my arm through his, shaking his head — his expression alight with mirth. It was hard not to notice the new spark of life in his blue eyes.
"Oh, come now, it's not that bad," he said.
My cheeks burned as I smiled up at him; I could feel a hopeless awe-filled expression growing on my face. The smell was instantly forgotten. He looked down at me, a warm smile on his lips. His eyes flickered across my face, and his brows furrowed as he took in my expression. The comfort growing between us started to fade, and I saw a flash of something like regret quickly extinguish the spark that had been building in his eyes. I mentally slapped myself. Running my tongue across my bottom lip, I looked away, feigning a nonchalant shrug. I cleared my throat in an attempt to recapture some of my dignity.
"It just takes a minute to get used to. It's been a while. You're lucky; you're only sharing my memories. Nothing will feel, taste, or smell as strong to you as it does to me." I pulled him to a stop, looking up into his eyes thoughtfully. "Think of it like this: I am my former self's shadow, and you, well, you are just along for the ride. Nothing will be quite so…real for you," I squinted, sighing in exasperation, and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Does that make the slightest bit of sense?" I asked, lowering my head embarrassedly.
The grip Niklaus had on my arm stiffened, and I felt him slide me minutely closer. I wasn't sure if he even realized he had done it, but it was enough to send my stomach aflutter.
"It makes sense." He turned his head, eyes scanning our surroundings, and took a step backward. "What exactly is it you want me to witness?" he asked.
Without answering his question, I turned on my heel, inhaling deeply. Bunching up my dress, I started the climb up the steep muddy hill, my knees bent awkwardly. Somewhere just above, I was about to begin helping Rebekah and Esther prepare for the ritual. Today was the day it had all come to a swift and blinding end.
"Come along, we haven't got all day. I would prefer to get this over with as quickly as possible. This isn't exactly one of my favorite days. I'm sure you'll agree," I called over my shoulder.
Niklaus followed after me, glancing around with interest as people slipped by him without greeting, their eyes passing right through him. With a worried expression, his stride slowed. He stopped in front of a small boy playing with a wooden sword. He lowered himself in front of the boy, who was swinging the sword in random circles, occasionally lunging with tiny squeals of laughter. Niklaus lifted his hand, waving it back and forth in front of the boy's face, his brows scrunched up in confusion. "They can't see us at all, can they?"
I stepped closer to the boy, smiling down at his enthusiasm as he drove the sword forward — an inch away from Niklaus's invisible chest. "No, they cannot. We aren't really here; this is all a memory. If you think about it, it's a good thing we aren't reliving everything through the bodies of our past selves. Can you imagine what that would be like? We barely made it out alive the first time," I said.
Niklaus squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself against my words. I bared my teeth, wincing at my lack of tact. Niklaus inhaled sharply, his chest rocking. Opening his eyes, he spared the boy one more glance before he placed his hands on his knees — standing to his feet.
"Not all of us made it out alive. I know you're trying to convince me that you're her, but I saw her charred body. I'm the one who will forever remember the smell of her burnt flesh as I pulled her from the pyre — her skin ripping and tearing as it refused to be pried away. I am the one who buried her...alone," his voice was quiet and deathly calm, eyes bloodshot and wet with tears he wouldn't allow to fall.
My throat felt dry and thick as I swallowed down my emotions. I had avoided all talk of what had happened after my first passing, as had Rebekah, Kol, and Elijah. Not one of us had felt the need to rehash the past; it was entirely too painful. I placed my hand on my burning throat and took a shaky breath.
"I am so sorry that it was you. I never would have wanted you to see me that way, but I appreciate it all the same. Though this—" I opened my arms wide, shakily taking a deep breath and placed a hand on my chest, lowering my chin. "— all of it is entirely possible. You know as well as I that nothing is ever impossible when it comes to magic," I said.
I left it at that and moved my hand from my shaking chest, turning on my heel and gesturing over my shoulder for him to follow. Niklaus lowered his head and followed me, his swollen eyes never rising. It was an uneasy walk, and this time, being the one ahead — I didn't have Niklaus as a distraction. I led the way to the Mikaelsons, my head lowered, and my mind barely on the task at hand. It surprised me slightly that I still remembered the way as easily as I did even after all these centuries. I found my feet guided me, allowing my mind the opportunity to wander back to what Niklaus had said. And boy— did it give me a lot of horrific images.
I ran my fingers through my hair and lifted my eyes — through the haze of the sun, I could just make out a large brown hut, and my breath caught in my throat. At the top of the hill, I could see a woman with a head of beautifully braided blonde hair. I watched her for a moment, surrounded by tall wildflowers. She was pulling clothes from the line. I paused as she started swaying back and forth, her grey dress flickering as the breeze picked up. The wind carried her voice, and I could hear the song she was humming, the same song she had so recently used to calm me and send me into a peaceful sleep. I held out my arm, and Niklaus came to a stop beside me. I remembered this moment and knew what was about to happen just ahead of us. I turned to him, expression stoic.
"Rebekah is just ahead, and I am about to join her. I need you to remain calm. Remember that nothing we do can change anything that is to come," I said, raising a gentle hand and finally bringing it to his shoulder.
Niklaus froze under my touch, stiffening uncomfortably. I felt my face pale, the blood draining from my cheeks. I quickly released him, my fingers twitching as I pulled away. He looked over my shoulder, his eyes sparkling with excitement, and I felt that same sense of irrational jealousy that I had before; my stomach churned with it. I bit my cheek to keep from lashing out. Flicking my fingers, I nudged him forward. I let out a quiet huff as I all but stomped up the hill, crossing my arms over my chest. I could hear him behind me, his pace quicker than it had been before, and I rolled my eyes — smirking as I remembered the fact that memory me wouldn't even realize he was here. I felt a spark of shame slip down my spine at the vindictive thought and wiggled uncomfortably. I came to stand in front of a tall wooden post that held up one end of the clothesline and avoided Niklaus's gaze as Rebekah hummed merrily.
"Where is she?" he asked, his labored tone rushed.
It took all of my strength to keep my eyes still as I sighed irritably, pointing toward the treeline. The moment Rebekah pulled the last piece of clothing from the line, a clearly disheveled version of me stepped from the woods. Her hair was a disaster; dirt and leaves marred her curly red locks, and she was actively running her fingers through it — trying and failing to remove the mess. A streak of dirt ran across her left cheek and mud-caked her skirt. However, all that was overshadowed by the smile plastered on her face. Her lips were pulled so wide that you could see every one of her front teeth. I watched her skip toward Rebekah, cheeks warm and rosy, and take hold of her shoulders — pulling a startled scream from her lips.
"Shh, sister, it's only me," Memory Elandra whispered, giggling contagiously.
I leaned against the wooden post, laying my head on its warm, scratchy surface, and finally turned my head to glance at Niklaus. His blue eyes were wide and glassy, his face almost ashen. He stood fixed, hands fisted at his sides. His chest was shaking as he breathed heavily, openly staring at her…me. It was as if the moment she had shown up, his whole universe had shifted. I felt sick, the guilt that it was me putting him through this clawing its way up my throat.
"Who has put you in such a state, sister dear?" Rebekah asked, pulling a small stick from Memory Elandra's hair.
I watched in embarrassment as she giggled, her blush flowing down her neck. From the corner of my eye, I could see Niklaus's lips twitch minutely. He took a deep, steadying breath. A smug smile was starting to build on his face, his posture loosening.
"Well, I doubt you want the details, Bekah. It just so happens that I came across your brother's hunting grounds on the way here," she coyly said.
Rebekah blanched, and her eyes widened fearfully. She took hold of Memory Elandra's arm and gave her a quick shake, pulling her closer — a shocking growl building in her chest. She looked into her wide eyes, a wildness lighting her features. "Are you mad? That was incredibly dangerous! What if someone had caught the two of you. What if father had…" Rebekah gasped, dropping her arm in horror.
Rebekah covered her face with her hands and spun around, mumbling incoherently. Niklaus watched the encounter in confusion, his attention never leaving the terrified expression on Memory Elandras face as she rubbed her arm.
"The two of you can be so thoughtless! Are you even considering what will happen should the both of you be caught before we can escape? Do you honestly think mother and father would allow such disobedience without retribution?" she whispered, her voice frigid.
I glanced at my feet, a cold chill passing over me. Rebekah was right; we had been careless in more ways than one. Niklaus growled in anger. He stood in front of the past version of me, his hands hovering on either side of her face. It was as if he wanted to embrace her.
"Rebekah would have never treated Elandra this way? They were close; they were sisters. Why are you showing me this...this lie?" he spat, shaking his head in denial.
His hovering hands shook, rising and falling as if he hoped to create friction, she could somehow sense. With a deep sigh, I motioned to the still messy version of myself. Her hands were fumbling around one another, teeth nibbling on her lower lip as she listened to Rebekah chastise her for her stupidity.
"How could I have come up with such a perfect version of something I have never seen? You never witnessed this, Nik. So there is no way this is your memory. Rebekah isn't here and has been daggered since the twenties — so that's out." My fingers swished through the air in frustration, countering each of the ridiculous arguments I could practically hear running through his mind. With an angry grunt, I glared at him. "The only rational explanation is the one I gave you. I am Elandra," I said, pointing at the past version of me and circling around to press my index finger firmly into my chest.
Niklaus looked back at the memory of me, swallowing roughly — his Adam's apple bobbed as he closed his eyes against the truth. He lowered his head, quietly lifting a trembling hand to wipe away the signs of sadness that were starting to pool in his red-rimmed eyes. He turned to me, shamefaced and pale, his ordinarily light blue eyes dark and filled with sorrow. He finally believed me. "What happened?" he mournfully asked.
Before I could answer, the past version of me took a sudden step forward, reaching out toward Rebekah. Her hand slid through Niklaus's chest, and an agonized gasp stumbled from his lips as he froze, looking down at the connection between them. His chest rippled most oddly, like water gently kissed by a falling leaf. He stared down at the hand buried wrist deep — right where his heart would be, and a shocking sob spilled unbidden from him. I rushed forward and took him by the shoulder, sharply pulling him to the side as the memory version of me continued past us. He placed his hand on his chest and roughly rubbed, taking in deep lungfuls of air. We watched as she approached Rebekah, and I could see the haunted expression that still lingered on his face. Throwing caution to the wind, I lowered my hand to his chest, gently laying my palm on his heart. His breathing hitched, and I could feel the tension in his solid frame. Before I could even consider moving my hand, he took hold of me, wrapping his fingers around my wrist — locking me in place.
"I am so sorry, Bekah. You are right. We will be more careful. It's just hard, being forced to hide what we feel for one another," she said.
Rebekah wrapped her arms around Memory Elandra, her face scrunched up in fear and pain. "I just don't want to lose either of you. Nik…" Rebekah hesitated, her hands rising to firmly grip memory Elandra's shoulders, her knuckles turning white, and took a deep shuddering breath. "We just wouldn't know what to do without you," she choked out.
Niklaus released me, turning away from their heartfelt display, his eyes shut tight. It was as if he couldn't bear to witness such devotion. I debated with myself: should I attempt to ease the guilt and pain he was so obviously feeling? Something kept my mouth sealed shut, and I turned away, giving him space to grieve. Rebekah rubbed memory Elandras arms, leaning her forehead against her shoulder. "I hate that you are forced to hide the way you feel, but just remember why it's necessary. Your courtship has been forbidden, and until we can finally leave — you have to be careful," she said.
The memory version of me stifled a sob, wiping roughly at her eyes as she pulled away from Rebekah — shaking out her hands. "You are right. I will speak with Nik," she weakly smiled.
Niklaus turned to me, genuinely taking me in for the first time. Roughly he took hold of my shoulder, pulling me closer. His darkened blue eyes trailed my face, and hesitantly, he reached out to me. His trembling fingers brushed against my temple and down my cheek, then he paused — his eyes darting over my shoulder. Harsh footsteps could be heard rising up the hill, leaves crunching under heavy feet. I felt my body tense as memories started to flood back, and I immediately recoiled. In front of me, Niklaus stiffened, his eyes hardening and shoulders slumping as he automatically folded into himself. Turning his head, he released me, stepping backward. He fisted his hands, jaw tightening, and lowered his head, eyes skirting the ground.
"Rebekah! Aren't the both of you meant to be inside?" Mikael barked.
Niklaus visibly jerked at the sound of Mikael's voice, his eyes squinting closed in hatred. After all these years, even the sound of Mikael's voice was enough to bring out the abused boy in Niklaus — no matter how hard he tried to stop it. Quickly shaking off the surprise, I avoided turning around; I had no desire to see him again. I could hear the familiar sound of a ring smacking against the metal of Mikael's sword and grimaced. The unpleasant memories that simple sound brought made my stomach roll. Reaching out, I took hold of Niklaus's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze — a simple reminder that he was not alone. Bringing my hand to his chest, he unfolded my fingers, gently placing my palm against his rapidly beating heart — holding me close.
"Yes, father, I was just gathering the rest of the linens. Come Elandra, let's offer mother our assistance," Rebekah meekly said.
I could hear the brush of fabric against his skin as Mikael shifted, and I turned my head. He was holding out his arm, blocking the past version of me before she could take Rebekahs awaiting hand. It has been over a thousand years since I had last seen Mikael, and I could honestly say it wasn't long enough. I held him in the same regard one would the monster in their closet.
As I took in his appearance after all these years, even through my hatred, I could admit that he shared physical and emotional characteristics with the man I love. Wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, and a temper to fear — which was precisely how Esther had gotten away with the ruse that Niklaus was Mikael's son for so long. With disgust, I watched as Mikeal leaned close to the past version of me. I can still remember the way his warm breath had felt on my ear.
"See that you don't get...distracted again," he said, using his thumb to brush away an errant piece of hair from her cheek.
It wasn't hard to hear the thinly veiled threat in his icy tone, and I was again angered by the blindness of my past self. How had I been so stupid? If only I had taken Niklaus and the others and ran; things could have been so different.
Niklaus's chest rumbled beneath my hand, and I glanced up, surprised to find him standing tall — blue eyes cold and firmly sealed on his father. The hatred in his gaze washed away all the fear that had him frozen only moments before. We watched as Mikael's touch sent a shiver of revulsion down memory me's spine. She smiled a weak, sickly smile and casually backed up — nodding her head.
"Of course, Mikeal; I will go find Esther and see what she needs of me for tonight's ritual," she said, her voice quivering slightly.
She slowly inched toward Rebekah, her back stiff. Her hand trembled as she took hold of Rebekah's outstretched one. Rebekah bent down, grabbed the small wooden basket of clothing with her empty hand, and heaved it onto her hip. With a tilt of her head in Mikael's direction, she pulled the past version of me down the hill and back toward the hut. Mikael stood, watching their progression for a moment, before turning and heading toward the village. Niklaus tilted his head, watching him pass, his tight jaw ticking with anger.
"I am going to kill him one day. I will shove a piece of white oak through his chest and watch him burn," he said, a pure hatred I had never witnessed before icing his words over.
I looked up at him, keeping my expression clear and free of judgment. "I would expect nothing less. He deserves your anger and hatred, Niklaus. He's an awful man and was never the father any of you deserved," I said.
Niklaus lowered his head, his cool stare growing warm as he gazed down at me. I lovingly traced his jawline, my fingertips brushing his bottom lip, and he released a shuddering breath — and his eyes glazed over with anger. "You really are her." His tone was soft, belying the anger in his gaze. "How did this happen; how are you alive again?" he asked, placing his hands on my heated cheeks.
I could hear the danger in his words; he was barely hanging on. I could only push him so far. He was living on a short fuse, and I couldn't have him blow up just yet. I pulled away from his tight grip, patting his chest gently — smiling meekly. Lifting my hand to his face, I caressed his stubble covered chin. I took a shaky breath, forcing myself to focus, and looked up into his heated eyes. "Nik, I brought you here not only to prove to you that I am Elandra but to show you how I survived…" I said, wincing slightly.
I hated using that word. Survived. It wasn't true, not in the slightest. I hadn't survived that night; I had only moved on. I cupped his cheek, grinning brightly when he leaned into my touch, his nose grazing my palm before he took hold of my wrist. He pulled my hand away from his face and tilted his head, turning away from me as he gazed down the hill, his blue eyes squinting to stare angrily at the small hut in the distance. "Show me," he simply said
With an unsteady nod, I started down the hill, his hand in mine. The closer we came to the hut, the harder my heart pounded in my chest. I could feel my pulse in my wrist and neck and took in deep lungfuls of air. My stomach turned, the hairs on my arms rising. As tough as it was to see Mikael again, even like this, it was nothing compared to what was waiting for me inside the Mikaelsons hut. Slowly I approached the dented and worn oak door — the only thing separating me from the person who had created my living nightmare. Esther wasn't the boogeyman that Mikael was; she was the demon that haunted my existence — a shadow that plagued the steps that led me from one life to the next. I stared up at the pockmarked door, my vision blurred by tears. I could feel Niklaus behind me and was thankful when his warm, calloused hand came to rest on my shoulder. I turned my head, looking at him instead of the past. Niklaus took hold of a stray curl that had come undone from my braid, twirling it around his finger. There was an understanding glimmer in his gaze, and I closed my eyes, basking in the comfort he offered — the tug at my scalp grounding me. I felt the loose strand bounce back against my cheek and opened my eyes — Niklaus was glancing behind me at the door, his eyes narrowed with hatred.
Shakily I exhaled and turned — my lungs burning as I rapidly deflated. Standing in front of us, her gaze raking the empty air, was Esther Mikaelson. She stood tall, her straight blonde hair pulled over one shoulder. She tilted her head, the skin around her eyes pinched as she stepped outside, scanning her surroundings. I hurriedly stepped backward, bumping into Niklaus — my heel digging into his foot. I heard him suck in a pained breath through his teeth and turned my head, wincing in apology. He took hold of my shoulders and moved me to the side, rolling his eyes in exasperation. Lifting his foot, he rotated it, grimacing uncomfortably. I bit my lip, holding back a snort at his antics. Esther placed her hands on her hips, inhaling through her nose. She lifted her head toward the sky, eyes closed in concentration. I fiddled with my fingers, reminding myself that there was no way she could sense us. This was a memory, and she could do nothing to me in memory. Slowly she lowered her chin, staring straight ahead. Her eyes connected with mine, and she lifted her finger, placing it against her chin — tracing her jawline. My body felt locked in place by fear. A cold shiver swept over me as she cocked her head, her mouth briefly curving upward. "Elandra," she softly said.
My stomach jolted, and my body bowed with stress. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out; my tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth. Niklaus took hold of my elbow, pulling me closer, but I couldn't look at him. The only thing I could see was the curve of Esther's lips, her blue eyes shining as they stared straight at me. This wasn't possible; it couldn't be. As the edges of my world started to blur, I saw a figure come up behind Esther — her dark red hair, a beacon that brought me back from the brink of a panicked faint. "Yes, Esther?" the past version of me asked, dusting off her apron.
Esther smiled, minutely turning her head to look at memory Elandra. She raised her hand, pointing toward where Niklaus and I stood.
"Why don't you go and gather the others?" She looked up at the dying daylight, her hand rising to cover her eyes. "The time to complete the ritual is fast approaching. They all need to be together. I will retrieve the Petrova girl's blood," she said.
Sharply I inhaled, my throat burning with the haste of it. What the hell had that been about? I watched as the past version of me moved her hands behind her back, hurriedly untying her apron. She stepped inside the house and placed it on its hook, and with a nod toward Esther, they both left — heading in opposite directions. Shakily I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to control my labored breathing. Niklaus bypassed me, walking up the stepping stones that led to the house. He placed his hand on the side of the door frame. His body was tense as he stepped inside — glancing around at the home he grew up in. With a growing feeling of hopelessness, I rose up the steps, following him inside. Walking back into the house that held memories of so much death was like placing a brick atop my chest; It was hard to breathe.
"So you knew that my mother planned to ask Tatia for her blood? And that in doing so, would alert her that something was going on with us?"
His eyes were accusatory and sharp as he maneuvered around the makeshift kitchen, turning to stare out the tiny window. The fireplace had been left roaring, a large pot was hanging above the flames — a revolting opaque liquid boiling within. Clay bowls had been laid out on a nearby table, prepped and filled with ingredients for the ritual. The long eight-person table was set for dinner, plates and silverware laid out and ready. The entire setting was a nightmare come to life. I remembered every second of prepping the dinner and ritual with Rebekah and Esther. It had been, and still is, one of the worst days of my life. I looked away from the table, wherein just a few hours, the Mikaelson family would lose their humanity and focused on Niklaus.
"Yes, I knew. She explained that she needed Tatia's blood for the ritual. However, I didn't know that Tatia would become curious enough to follow Elijah into the woods. I also never imagined that Esther would tie her blood to your curse. I am sorry, Nik," I said, pulling out Kols chair and taking a seat.
Niklaus continued to stare out the window, his features set in a cold mask of resentment. I had never considered this to be something that would set him off. Yes, Tatia's death could be as linked to me as the creation of vampires...and well, Hybrids too. Tatia had died after me, and I had only found out centuries afterward. I regretted that she had lost her life and that her descendants would forever be tied to the Mikaelson family because of Niklaus's curse. Still, I honestly hadn't expected her curiosity to lead her to follow Elijah. He had loved her; she had been his first love, and if I could have, I would have saved her for that reason alone. Laying my head on my palm, I let a single tear fall.
"I didn't mean to hurt any of you, Nik. I am so sorry that I helped end your mortality. If I could go back and change things, I would take you all and run before the spell was ever created. I wish that Elijah could have grown old with Tatia and you and I...well, we could have had the time, and that's all I ever wanted," I said, my voice thick.
As the room started to darken, the daylight fading, Niklaus came to stand beside me. Running his fingers through my hair, he lowered to his knees, a weak smile on his face. "Love, I don't blame you for what my mother turned us into. It was her spell, her magic that did this, not yours." Gently he brushed the hair from my forehead and leaned close, kissing my temple. "We don't need to go back, Elandra. You are here now, and that's all I need," he said.
Tears pooled in my eyes, and I placed a hand atop his chest, carefully pushing him back. Standing to his feet, he stepped away, a confused and slightly angry expression building on his face. His nose twitched as I placed my head in my hands, sighing deeply and fighting back exhausted hysterical laughter. He was right; I am definitely here now, but not for long. That's always the crux of my problems. Nothing ever lasts, and I always have to be the one that breaks it to the people who matter most. "Elandra, what are you not telling me? What is it that I am here to see?" he slowly asked.
Lifting my head, I looked at him, my eyes burning. I tried to smile, to reassure him that everything would be okay, as I always do during the 'big reveal.' Still, here in the Mikaelsons kitchen, where everything happens — I just couldn't. His eyes clouded with understanding, and he reached out, taking my hand. I let him pull me to my feet, shielding me in his arms as we waited for Esther and the others to return — as we waited for the end. It wasn't long before the large oak door opened, and in walked Mikael, followed closely by Finn, Elijah, Kol, Niklaus, Rebekah, and Esther. Past me was the last to enter, quietly closing the door behind her — head hung low. She trailed behind Esther toward the kitchen and the tiny ritual space they had set up earlier. Rebekah watched them closely, a wistful longing in her eyes, one that I had never noticed before. Cocking my head, I watched her take a seat, still gazing after Esther and past me.
From our past discussions, I knew that Rebekah had always loved training with Esther and Kol, but she had never honestly had the gift — and Esther had known it. On the other hand, Kol had been a great warlock and would have become just as powerful as his mother, had he not been cursed with vampirism. Kol...now there is a Mikaelson I sorely missed. Casually, I eased myself away from Niklaus, quickly approaching Kol. He was whispering something in Elijah's ear, a mischievous grin on his face, his shoulder-length light brown hair shining in the candlelight. I giggled, crossing my arms as I watched his interactions with the others. He was by far the most boisterous and troublesome, even in darker times. Leaning closer, I tried to make out what was being said between brothers, but heard a guttural growl behind me and sighed — standing straighter and looking over my shoulder. Niklaus was glaring at me, his eyes darting between Kol and me, features twisted with anger. "Is this why we're here? So that you may see Kol again?" he spat, nose twitching as his eyes landed on a grinning Kol.
Huffing exasperatedly, I rolled my eyes, smiling despite his ridiculous outburst. "Kol is just as much my brother as he is yours. I can miss him, Nik; your attitude is unnecessary," I said, turning back around to glance at the table.
I could hear him grumbling behind me but chose to ignore it. His jealousy would be one thing he would need to learn to control. Many of my friends were men, and that wasn't about to change. My attention was taken by the stocky impassive man at the other end of the table seated by the past version of Niklaus. Finn was still an enigma to me. In all the years I had known the Original family, Finn and I had rarely spoken. Rebekah had once explained that Finn had lost his twin — a sister named Freya — to the plague. Since then, he has never been the same. Now, knowing the deep connection twins share, I can't imagine that loss. It's a different sort of love, one few can truly understand. I watched him curiously as his hazel eyes perused the table. He turned his nose up when he noticed the way Kol was acting. He shot Elijah a disapproving scowl and shook his head, focusing on Mikael as he stood, walking over to stand in front of the small window behind him. He spared Esther a cautious glance before he silently observed the starlit night. I turned my focus back to the kitchen — where I watched closely as Esther and past Elandra (who kept shooting past Niklaus much too obvious glances) moved their spellwork to the other side of the room — and away from view. I turned to look behind me, frowning sadly at Niklaus, and headed closer to the kitchen. I could sense Niklaus following behind me and felt dread pool in my stomach. This was it; he would know about my curse now and what had led to it.
As I neared the kitchen, Esther moved, and I could see the large clay bowl in front of her was releasing a cloud of grey smoke. Taking a pestle from the shelf above her, she finished grinding the herbs, sweat beading on her brow. My spine tingled, and I shivered unpleasantly as the past version of me picked up a tattered cloth, moving to hand it to Esther. Putting down her pestle, Esther reached out, her hand grazing Elandra's. Her eyes flashed, her jaw going slack. With a shudder, her body fell forward. Catching herself, she placed her palm flat against the counter, breathing heavily. Her slackened features twisted into anger as she grabbed the knife lying next to her hand. With speed you wouldn't expect from a human, she spun around, taking hold of past Elandra's throat. She placed the blade next to her jugular, her lips near her ear. She backed Elandra up against the wall, her steps quiet as not to garner the attention of the others only a room away. The shocked and fearful expression on the face of my past self was comical at best. Mouth hanging open, eyes wide, she flattened herself against the wall — sweat glistening on her forehead, a bead of blood pooling around the tip of the blade at her neck. Her hands were raised, sparkling fingers curling and uncurling. I could feel the fear and uncertainty as if it were happening all over again. Niklaus rushed to my side, his eyes flickering between my past self and me, his mouth twisted in anger.
"Did you honestly think you would get away with this dishonor? How dare you try to worm your way into my son's marriage bed. I told you that your place was not at his side, and yet you continued the relationship!" she spat, a fleck of spit landing on past Elandra's cheek.
Elandra turned her head, a small whimper of pain falling from her tightly clamped lips as Esther dug the knife deeper into her skin. Thick red blood ran down her neck, curving slightly as it reached her collarbone. Niklaus stepped forward, his chest shaking with rage. He twisted his head to look back at me, eyes wild. "Why are you not fighting back? Look at yourself! Your magic is waiting to be released; I can see your fingers fucking glowing, El! Why are you not using it?" he asked, his tone filled with panicked confusion.
I tilted my head, releasing a sigh. I raised my hand to point back at the room next to us where the rest of the Mikaelsons stood in wait — Mikael included. "And how exactly would shooting Esther across the room have panned out for me…for any of us? Mikael would have flipped out. He would have been out for blood. I know you, Nik, you would have fought for me, as would've Elijah, Rebekah, and Kol, but what about Finn, huh? Do you honestly think he would have been happy about me attacking his mother? We would have been up against Mikael, Esther, and Finn," I said, my eyes burning.
I didn't know Finn as I did the others, but he was family, and there was no way I would have taken such a chance with his life. Besides, they would have never forgiven themselves if something had happened to him. Niklaus threw up his hands, grunting in frustration, and turned back to Esther and past Elandra.
"I-I-Esther, please...I love him. I never meant to betray you or force my way into the family," past Elandra stuttered, tears pouring down her face.
Esther chuckled darkly, pressing her palm flat against past Elandra's shoulder and pushing her roughly into the wall. She deftly slid the blade along her body toward the palm of her hand. It was easy to tell past Elandra hadn't even noticed the blade's change in location, so focused was she on Esther's wickedly gleaming eyes. "Do you think your apologies matter to me, child? You and my son will never be. You cannot and will not; it's impossible. You're from two very different worlds. You and your family have been touched by the old gods, and I cannot allow you to mix your family with my own," she said and quickly slashed the blade across Elandra's palm.
Blood fell down past Elandra's wrist, splattering onto the floor. Esther twisted the blade in a circle, covering the dull silver in crimson, and pulled away, dropping the blade in a small bowl beside her. "I will deal with your betrayal after the ritual. Don't think for a moment that you will be going anywhere with a single member of my family," she said, turning around.
Esther had a superior grin mounting on her face as she glanced down at the blade. She tossed a cloth over her shoulder, her nose wrinkled with disgust. "Clean yourself and start filling the wine bottle with the spelled herbs," she snarled.
Niklaus stepped up beside me, watching with pained sadness as past Elandra shakily wrapped her hand, tying the cloth to keep her cut covered. Wiping at her red eyes, she took hold of the wine bottle and lifted the smoking clay bowl, dumping the contents into the bottle. Putting the cork back in, she nodded at Esther and followed her back into the other room. Turning away from their departure, I held out my hand, shaking my head. "I-I can't watch this part again. I'm sorry," I whispered.
Niklaus took hold of my chin, lifting my watery eyes to his. "It's okay. Is any of it relevant to what you need to show me?" he asked.
"No, not at all," I said, shaking my head sadly.
Niklaus held me in his arms, shielding me from what was to come, and after a few short minutes, the cries of the Mikaelson's could be heard from the other room. I covered my ears — shaking my head against the onslaught. After a while, the screams died down, but I couldn't stop my body from shaking. I stepped back as Esther re-entered the room. To my shock, her face was tearstained. Niklaus stepped behind me and gently removed my hands from my ears — his warm lips kissed their way down my neck.
"Breathe, El. Just breathe," he whispered.
I stood taller, placing my shaking hands against my stomach, and kept my gaze focused ahead. Niklaus stepped around me, his fingertips brushing the shell of my ear. Smiling weakly, I tried to remain strong, but my words came out cracked and strained as I spoke. "This...this is what I needed to show you. This is where it started. Just remember that nothing can be changed here. And-and none of it was your fault," I said.
Niklaus stumbled forward, watching with narrowed, uneasy eyes as his mother lifted the blood-soaked blade to the kitchen window — allowing it to be bathed in the moonlight. With quick, lowly spoken Latin, she chanted. Her eyes never left the moonlit blade. Her pale lips turned up as her final words were spoken, and she lifted her own hand, slashing her skin with the blade. She mixed our blood, her eyes fluttering closed. "You wanted to take my family? You wanted a forever with my son...well, forever is what you'll get. You'll have an eternity to never know peace or love. You will always be alone." Esther laid the blade back in the bowl and looked down at the palm of her hand, where blood trickled down her wrist. Smiling viciously, she widened her fingers, raising her hand above her. "You will never find the happiness that comes with a full life. You will repeat the horrors of existence over and over again — never really living...forever." Lowering her hand, she whispered something, the final stipulation to my curse, laughter shaking her shoulders. "Let's see how long it takes, shall we? It's only a matter of time," she said, wrapping her hand in a tattered dull cloth. With one last look at the tools she used to change my fate, she headed back into the other room.
My body shook, a shiver rocking me, and I closed my eyes. No, she was wrong. I had chosen long ago to forget that part of my curse, and I would do so again. Shaking off the remembrance of her words. I focused on Niklaus. He was frozen in front of me; the only sign of life was the slow movement in his shoulders. Cautiously, I inched forward, raising my flexing fingers toward his shoulder. "Nik.." I quietly asked.
Before I could touch him, a loud scream interrupted the calm silence. Niklaus jerked to life, his body turning toward the sound. Hurrying forward, I raised my hands, jumping in front of him. "No, you don't want to do that, Nik. You can't save her, remember? All of this... it's already happened," I said, my face flushing.
Niklaus shoved me forward, fighting to get past me and into the room where Mikael was angrily attacking the past version of me. The blame Esther had put on me for the adverse side effects of vampirism, sending him into a blind rage. I planted my feet firmly, locking my body in place. Niklaus had seen the pyre in flames. He had witnessed the village gathered around a burning witch. Still, he had not actually witnessed Mikael dragging me into town and rallying the others into a frenzied panic — one that led them to tie me to the pyre and burn me alive. There was no way I would let him watch all of that happen. We were done here. Niklaus knew of Esther cursing me; there was nothing else he needed to see. Placing my hands on the side of his face, I tried to get him to focus on me. I needed to pull us back to reality. "Niklaus, look at me. I am here. All of this has already happened. You cannot save me," I said.
Another scream ripped through the air, and Niklaus lowered his head, squeezing his eyes shut against it. His face scrunched up in agony, and I placed my fingers in his hair, running my nails along his scalp — hoping to calm him. "Please look at me. I can take us away from here. There is nothing left for us here...in the past," I said, sniffling tiredly.
Niklaus placed his hands on my shoulder. His grip was tight and unforgiving. "Take me back," he said.
With a nod, I kept my gaze fixed on his, and my fingertips pressed into his temples. The room around us shifted, fading away like running paint on a canvas. Once again, we were falling — the blackness surrounding us was flickering with color. Brief glimpses of moving pictures came in and out of focus, and the noise was soft and hard to make out. Voices and lilting musical notes that I could almost remember before they changed entirely. Below us, I could see a bright fuzzy light, and the pain in my neck and lungs started to return with a fierce burning fury. With my vision fading, I began to feel a strong desire to breathe but couldn't find air. Gasping, I could feel my body start to weaken. I felt like jello. Time and space meant nothing, and I couldn't remember when I had last taken in oxygen. I could hear voices again, but this time they were louder, a frantic pleading that I tried to focus on. With a sudden movement that left my spine aching, I felt cool air on my face, and more importantly, filling my burning lungs. Bright light seared my retinas, and I blinked, the pain in my neck a clawing reminder that death had once again tried to claim me. "Come on, love. Wake up," Niklaus said.
I could hear the slamming of a door and turned my head, the noise too much for my pulsing head. I cried out in pain at the sudden movement. There was a rustling beside me, and I felt a cool hand touch my forehead. "If she isn't okay, I will make sure your life is a living hell, and you can forget about your stupid ritual!" Elena spat.
Whatever I was lying on vibrated, and I heard a quiet chuckle. "She's fine. She is awake now, but she needs my blood to heal. Come on, El; open your eyes, and give my doppelganger a sign that you're alive. She's quite the spitfire." I could hear a sickening crunch and the distinctive sound of tearing skin before wetness touched my lips. I winced, trying without much success to move my head away. "Ah, ah, take the blood, love. You need to heal. I'm sorry I was so rough." Niklaus said.
Elena scoffed, her breath touching my cheek, and she gripped onto my arm. "You were rough? That's what you're gonna call what happened? Yeah, okay. He's right, though, Ellie. Drink so that you can wake up and kick his sorry ass," Elena grumbled.
With a pained grimace, I took a deep mouthful. The taste wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Niklaus's blood was much sweeter than that of Damons or Stefans, and I felt the grimace fall from my face as I continued to drink. With a barely disguised moan, Niklaus pulled his wrist from my lips, his chest rocking as he took a deep breath. "That's enough, Elandra," he whispered.
Opening my eyes, I took in his glazed eyes — the blue shining brightly. He helped me sit up, and Elena took hold of my shoulders, her face frantic. "Oh, God, you're okay. I'm so glad you're okay. I thought that was it," she said, her eyes pooling with tears.
I patted her cheek, pulling her down next to me on the porch step. "I'm fine; everyone is fine. But listen, Lena, Nik, and I have a lot to discuss," I said.
Elena leaned over me, her doe eyes squinting at Niklaus — a deep glare morphed her face. "Okay, Elara, but so help me if something else happens to you, I can promise I will show him what a psycho doppelganger truly is," she said.
Niklaus chucked, leaning against the banister — the picture of sophisticated ease. "Now wouldn't that be something," he said.
Elena growled, standing to her feet, and crossed her arms. "Don't test me, Hybrid," she said.
With an air of amused tolerance, Niklaus nodded, waving her away. I watched her go, sighing with exasperation, and turned back to Niklaus. His expression shifted, the amusement now replaced with an angry unease. "So, you reincarnate then?" he simply said.
My throat burned as I nodded. "Yes, but there is more to it. Let me explain, Nik. This is part of what Elijah was trying to tell you," I said.
Looking out at the darkened sky, he gently shook his head. I could see the shutters closing. His expression was turning cold and aloof. He was awaiting the heartache that always seemed to find him. I hated this; I was the one person that should never cause him pain, yet here I was.
"Tell me then. Explain your curse. If anyone can understand, it'll be me," he said, a dark chuckle lighting up the air.
Looking at my hands, I kept my voice steady. "Well, it activates on my eighteenth birthday..." I started.