Hello and welcome!

I know, I'm cutting it pretty close with this update xD But, I will try and maintain a weekly update :D

If anyone is interested in beta-ing this story, please PM me :)

I hope that you enjoy the chapter!

List of OCs appearing in the chapter:

Kobashigawa Hinagiku (11th Division)

Matsushita Koichi (10th Division)

Kida Rini (11th Division)

This story was inspired by a short poem by Julie Martinez:

and if you don't
like me, as i do you;
i understand.

because who would
really choose
a daisy, in a field
of roses?
-Julie Martinez

Chapter 5: Wounds

It is dark. I've grown tired of this pitch blackness. I wish for light. I yearn for it. Now. Now. Now.

I don't want to wait. Call my name. Bring me light.

I don't want to touch about in the dark, judging by smell and feel alone. I want to see. I don't want to fold in the dark anymore. I want to see. I don't want to stumble blindly anymore. I want to see.

I don't want to wait. Call my name. Bring me light.

I want to see.

The door opened and in came a familiar figure. Hinagiku pushed herself up, her hands flying to tidy up her messy hair and pull her simple kimono over the scar on her neck. Captain Hitsugaya of the 10th Division walked in, looking a tad awkward as he did, which wasn't a usual demeanor for him.

He gave her a short, curt nod, his sharp eyes roaming her figure, assessing the injuries. He didn't comment on the way she held her kimono rim to her neck. "Unohana-taicho has informed me that you are healing nicely. How do you feel?" The young Captain pulled out a chair and sat next to her bed, making her squirm uncomfortably.

She absolutely did not want him to see her scar. It wasn't appropriate. It was ugly. "I am healing well, thank you for asking, Hitsugaya-do-ah-taicho." Hinagiku managed to catch herself before she addressed him with 'dono', which she normally used. She didn't want to be corrected once more. It wasn't appropriate.

"Good." He seemed at a loss of words. "That is good." The white haired Captain sat there, staring at his hands for a moment. He then, seemed to realize that he was still holding a small bouquet of flowers. "Here." He brought them up, extending them to a confused and a little intrigued girl. "I brought these for you." Hinagiku accepted them, looking carefully at the small arrangement. It was dominantly in white yarrow, which meant health and healing. She wondered if he knew the message which the flowers carried.

"Thank you very much, Hitsugaya-taicho." She whispered, looking at the simple, yet precious bouquet. It wasn't as extravagant as some of the other which she had gotten. A big arrangement of azaleas from her Grandmother, telling her to 'take care of herself for her' was sitting by the bedside. It had been obviously prepared by a professional florist. That sort of perfection was unachievable even by herself, who had been taught to prepare a bouquet as a part of her 'lady training'.

The numerous suitors that her Grandmother had introduced her to had sent their own bouquets as well, ranging everywhere from 'get well' wishes to 'eternal love' in their meaning. The most curious, though, was a single arrangement of gardenias, which stood on the window still all on its own. They were pure white, but clearly home-grown. She would know. Her mother had planted exactly that kind in her Grandmother's garden.

But, she got the warmest feelings when she looked at Captain Hitsugaya's flowers. They weren't brought under any false pretenses or manipulation attempts. No, his wish for her to get well was genuine. Hinagiku smiled, her throat closing up and her eyes watering as she looked at the white flowers. They smelled of honey.

"I-forgive me. I know that it's not appropriate… But, Matsumoto said that I couldn't visit without flowers…" The white haired Captain seemed to become flustered at the sight of her crying. He cursed his Lieutenant under his breath and then tried again. "It's just a small token, nothing like these." And he motioned towards the large, imposing bouquets sent by rich, male acquaintances of her Grandmother.

"No, no." Hinagiku quickly interrupted the distressed Captain, who looked less like a high ranked officer and more like the teenager that he was, awkwardly flustered. "I like them. Yarrow is a nice flower." She smiled softly. "This just reminded me why I joined the Shin'ō Academy." Hinagiku explained. She looked at the young man, surprised to see him listening intently. It was only the second time that she was holding the attention of a highly ranked officer, the previous being when her Captain found out of her special skills with paperwork.

"Why did you join?" He wondered when she stopped talking.

"Everyone was genuine there." Hinagiku told him. A look of understanding crossed his face. "There were no more corporate pretenses and hidden plots. Despite being a woman, I was a person first. I earned my spot because of my abilities." Then, she looked down at her bandaged fingers holding the flowers. "More like my inability."

There was a moment of morbid silence as the presence of the dead weighted on the both of them. "You did everything you could. To the best of your ability." His blue eyes caught hers, and she couldn't move suddenly. Hinagiku realized why Tōshirō Hitsugaya was a formidable Captain. She couldn't look away. Her limbs were frozen. He oozed power and control. He was terrifying. But, there was no murderous intent. He didn't want to harm her. Just have her full attention. "It wasn't your fault."

And Hinagiku cried.

She couldn't sleep. She would lie in her bed for hours on end, just staring at the ceiling or out of her window at the peaceful gardens of the 4th Division. Captain Unohana had scolded her already twice for it, and had prepared a potion for her to drink on a regular basis. And when she could fall asleep, she would wake in the middle of the night, screaming, reaching for her Asauchi. She hadn't cried since the day when Captain Hitsugaya had first visited her. It felt like her tears had dried up. But, there was a dead sort of sadness inside of her, one that she couldn't shake away. Hideki's face kept haunting her. She kept remembering their last conversation.

Most of the 11th Division had been to visit her. Captain Unohana seemed to be sick of them, but she never said anything, ever the polite woman. However she did give Hinagiku a couple of meaningful glances, when the rowdy group was being too loud. Their 3rd Seat, Ikkaku, had brought her some spicy noodles from her favorite stall, sneaking them past all the healers. In contrast, 5th Seat Yumichika had made sure to pack a couple of casual kimonos from her room and fold them properly in the small cupboard next to her bed. The 7th Seat Koichi, had been to see her progress a couple of times, always brining a stack of paperwork with him, and sitting in the corner to do them, asking for her advice ever so often. The 15th Seat Rini had also visited, talking mostly about her own missions and the current situation at the barracks. Apparently, they were fighting once more with the 7th Squad.

But, as much as Hinagiku enjoyed those rowdy visits, it was Captain Hitsugaya's that she mostly looked forward to. He was surprisingly gentle, when she had asked for his help to move to a better position, and quite humorous, in an unsuspected way. His jokes concentrated around hinting that he enjoyed his Lieutenant's, Matsumoto's childish antics and quite liked the way that the 11th Division was, comradeship-wise. He didn't approve of the constant, everyone against everyone, fighting which happened on a daily basis, but he did admit that it gave them a special kind of bond, one that he couldn't hope to recreate in his Division, no matter how much he tried.

It was strange, to see a Captain, of all people, relax a bit. He had a habit of raking his fingers through his white hair as he slouched in the chair, talking. He would also sigh a lot, reprimanding his comrades in an almost fatherly way. Hinagiku had to admit that her opinion of the young man had changed. He seemed less like an unreachable ideal of power and information that Tomoka had painted for her, and more like a normal, everyday man. She even went as far as considering them close acquaintances.

She had managed to gather her courage to ask him about Nakajima Hideki one day and the young Captain had obliged. He had told her how he had recruited the talented Shinigami from the Shin'ō Academy and how his choice had been right. Hideki had always been a bright one, asking questions about this and that unabashedly, always wanting more knowledge and more power. But, he had been lazy apparently, and he had had no personal goal to drive him forward. But, regardless of that, he had had a bright future in front of him, and it had been ripped away from him in a blink of an eye.

But, all good things must come to an end. Hinagiku thought as she slowly stripped, going into the showers of the 4th Division Healing Houses for the last time. It was a good thing, this rest. No matter how terrible the circumstances bringing me to it were. A silver lining. She peeled off the bandages around her leg, looking at the closing wound. It still had stitches in, ten of them. It wasn't infected and was healing quite nicely. Captain Unohana had told her to just come back in a couple of weeks and get them out. There could be a bit of scarring, but not much, the gentle woman had explained to her. Not that that makes any difference. Hinagiku shrugged to herself, undoing the other bandages on her torso and a completely useless one around her neck. I won't ever marry a man who will judge my body's purity on scars.

After Captain Hitsugaya's first visit, she had asked for a bandage to be put there, just to cover the marred skin. She hated that part of herself. It was a testament of her weakness and inability. It was ugly. It made her ugly. She didn't want anyone to see it. Captain Unohana hadn't seemed too happy about the bandages going to waste, but since nobody could locate the colorful scarf which Hinagiku usually wore around her neck, she had allowed for the Shinigami to get some wraps for it. The woman had told her that she could attempt to use Kaidō on it, but that since it was years old, she couldn't promise that it would be a successful healing. Hinagiku had thanked her and refused. She needed the scar. It was a reminder of her ugliness. She needed to remember.

The water that hit her was warm and it soothed her. She lathered herself in soap and quickly shampooed her hair. Her thoughts wandered off to what the Division was like. But, as she imagined Ikkaku and Yumichika doing paperwork under Captain Zaraki's menacing scowl, she felt herself being watched. It was a strange feeling, the small hairs on the back of her neck rising in attention. A warning. She whirled about only to see an empty bath.

Hinagiku closed the showerhead, listening intently. She grabbed the white towel and wrapped it around her wet body. She could only hear her own breathing and the droplets hitting the puddle on the tiled floor. She froze, holding her breath. Her heart thrummed in her ears as she stared, wide-eyed, all about. There was someone there. She knew. She simply knew.

"Hinagiku-chan." The girl turned, her blood frozen cold in terror. He was standing there, in the standard, black shihakusho, the katana strapped to his hip. He smiled at her, gently, softly, just like he had that day. "Hinagiku-chan…" Hideki spoke once more, overly familiar, just like he was in life. He seemed so alive.

"H-Hideki." She addressed him in a broken tone, before a door creaked open on the other side of the bathroom.

"Kobashigawa-san?" Kaede's voice came from the room next door, the healer peeking in. "Are you done? I have your clean clothes here."

"Y-yes, just a moment, please, Kaede-dono." Hinagiku turned back to where Hideki was, only to find him gone. I'm going mad. I'm going completely mad. She realized.

The 11th Division was exactly like she imagined it would be. There were brawling Shinigami left and right, the cheering and betting in the dōjō as loud as every day. It was just as she remembered it. As Hinagiku wandered in through the gate, she smiled. The familiar sounds of yelling, battle cries and swords clattering one against the other filled her ears. She was home.

"Ah, Paper, welcome back." Her Captain spoke as soon as he saw her, grinning from his position on the porch. The Lieutenant was absent, which was rare. Kenpachi waved her over and Hinagiku obeyed. "Sit." He ordered and she obliged.

"It's good to be back, Zaraki-dono." Hinagiku said with a small bow, the only one which her current seated position and tight bandages allowed. A silence ensued in between the two Shinigami. The Captain kept drinking from his sake cup, despite it being an early afternoon, and Hinagiku looked out into the yard, watching Ikkaku beat down a couple of greenhorns, teaching them the basics of battle survival. He kept yelling and egging them on, which they took in stride, as encouragement, the four of them attacking him together. Yet, they never moved in sync. They didn't know how or when the other was going to act. They didn't know their comrades, much less understood their opponent. The battle was entirely one-sided.

"You did good, Hinagiku." The fearsome Captain spoke again, looking at the greenhorns as well. "The only members of that mission that survived were you, that newbie with you and the Seated officer. It was beyond your level."

"Do- Do you regret sending me?" Piped up the girl in a tiny voice. The Captain let out a booming laugh, distracting one of the newbies and causing Ikkaku to slam the poor lad on the forehead with the back of his sword. Shouting ensued, along with yelling to pay attention.

"I think that we both know that power comes in small packages as well as large ones." Kenpachi spoke, sipping more sake. "I don't regret sending you." He told her. "I will regret it unless you hone that battle spirit of yours, though. Everyone makes a mistake or two." The man explained to her and then turned and focused on her. "I will expect to see you at the dōjō as soon as those wounds are healed, Paper." And the man gave her a nod, dismissing her.

"I thank you greatly for your advice and faith, Zaraki-taicho." Hinagiku bowed a perfect, formal bow of forty-five degrees. She couldn't help the way her vision swum from the tears that gathered in her eyes. She really did love the 11th Division. The young girl slipped off her waraji and continued off towards her barracks, on the opposite side of the medium sized compound.

"Oh, and Paper." Kenpachi caught her attention once more. "I'm expecting you bright and early tomorrow in my office. Paperwork has piled up." Hinagiku couldn't help the smile that lit up her face and she offered one more, quick bow and ran towards her room.

Paperwork! Finally!

Her room still smelled of paper, clean sheets and warm summer breeze coming from the open window. But, there was only one thing missing. The scent of expensive perfume. Hinagiku was shocked a bit when the door behind her opened with a slam, the familiar figure of Kida Rini entering. The superior officer grinned at her, immediately grabbing the small bag of clothing which Hinagiku had been carrying.

"Geez, Kobashigawa!" Exclaimed the Shinigami, placing the bag on Hinagiku's bed. "You should have sent a Jigokuchō and I would've come to help you out! You're not supposed to carry heavy things with wounds like that." The woman complained, ushering the girl to her bed. "Let me see if you ripped out any of your stitches." And without waiting for permission, Rini pulled Hinagiku's casual kimono open and began unwrapping the bandage. "You got lucky. They're all intact. No more carrying things." And then the Shinigami re-wrapped the wound and closed the kimono, plopping on the only other bed in the room.

"T-thank you, Kida-dono." Hinagiku managed to squeak out, still shell-shocked. 15th Seat Kida was known to be quite overly familiar with people, but the petite girl had never had the attention of the successful woman focused on herself. "If I may inquire as to what you are doing here?"

"Now, now, Kobashigawa, no need to be so formal." Rini grinned happily, her long legs swinging back and forth in a kind of joyful high. "After all, we're friends now, are we not?" Asked the woman.

"If you wish us to be, Kida-dono." Replied Hinagiku, a little uncertain. She wasn't good at these kinds of things. She preferred paperwork. What was written on the paper was the truth. There were no hidden meanings, feelings or hints. Kami, she was bad at catching hints. Paperwork was good. People, they were difficult. There was always some other meaning behind their words, not matter how honest they seemed.

Rini frowned suddenly. "Do you want us to be friends, Kobashigawa?"

"I-ugh-e-erm- yes." Hinagiku had never been asked this sort of question. There were no 'friends' in the highborn society where she was from. No, they had acquaintances and people they knew of. There were no comrades, no friends, no intimate relationships other than those forged by money or status. You had enemies and allies and that was pretty much it.

"Then, call me Rini, for starters." The woman grinned once more. "Or roomie, if you want?"

Hinagiku was pretty sure that her jaw dropped. "Yer my new roommate?" Rini's eyes widened and her grin grew.

"What was that?" She asked excitedly, suddenly moving to Hinagiku's bed. "You have an accent!" Hinagiku felt her cheeks heating up. She tended to slip up and revert to how she used to speak before all the training when she was surprised. It was an unseemly habit which her Grandmother loathed. She hated the fact that her granddaughter had picked up her father's accent. "It's a Kyoto-ben, no? So cute!"

Rini seemed rather overjoyed at her newest discovery. "You must be mistaken, Kida-dono." Hinagiku attempted to save herself from any further embarrassment, but the woman was too adamant.

"Say something else!" Kida persisted. "Why do you hide it? It's such an adorable accent on you!"

"It's not appropriate for a lady to speak in such manner." Hinagiku murmured, looking at her lap. She felt her good mood deflate as soon as she had repeated those familiar words. It had been her Grandmother's favorite mantra after her mother's death. Hinagiku still remembered just how many times she had been instructed to keep quiet during guest dinners. She remembered just how many books she had been forced to read out loud, learning proper grammar. She remembered how disgraceful it was whenever she used her accent around the rich and the noble. She remembered their looks of pity and distaste.

"Lady?" Rini asked thoughtfully. "Then you might be in the wrong Squad, Kobashigawa. We don't have too many ladies here."

Hinagiku grinned, causing Rini to raise an eyebrow. She had seen the uptight girl only smile softly at someone. Never did she grin like this, showing her teeth, in pure mirth. "I suppose that I could call you Rini-dono, then? If it's not too much trouble."

"I suppose that dropping the honorific is too much to ask?" Rini sighed, but her constant smile betrayed her. "Anyways, I have a mission to attend to, just some cleanup, as usual, so I'll see you later, 'right? Don't hog too much of my stuff." And with a small wave, the cheery officer was gone. Hinagiku couldn't help but smile at the closed door of their room. It was nice, the idea of actually sharing quarters with a friend.

Her previous roommate has been a woman from a prominent clan, who hadn't been too happy with her choice of Division. She was always locking herself in the small powder room on the side, putting on makeup and expensive perfume. Heck, she locked her possessions in a chest, so that no one would be able to touch them. Not to mention that the young Shinigami had only been interested in 7th Seat Koichi and had looked down on Hinagiku all the time. It had been a borderline unpleasant roommateship, for the both of them.

Hinagiku walked to the door and locked it, since the male members of the 11th Squad had a fairly popular habit of barging into the female quarters. She then undid her obi, letting it fall to the ground. Next came her kimono, the soft pink fabric fluttering on the floor as well. In a rebellious moment, she left them there, not bothering to fold them properly. If her Grandmother saw that, she would pop a vein, Hinagiku didn't doubt it.

She chose a simple, silk, sky blue kimono with daisies on it. It was colorful around the rims, showing hand-drawn, watercolor flowers in green, purple, white and yellow. Her mother had had this made for her a long time ago. It was a precious memento and one of her favorite kimonos. With practiced motions, Hinagiku tied an obi around her middle in a casual bow in the back. Without any shoes, she headed out. She couldn't sit still and do nothing. She had already sat around in the 4th Division workless long enough.

Besides, I bet that those lazy asses haven't done any paperwork in the last month. She arrived to the offices fairly quickly, only to see Ikkaku still fighting with the newcomers. They had switched the members of the attacking group, yet the 3rd Sea still seemed pretty unfazed. He hadn't even released his Zanpakutō and was easily fending the newcomers off, not breaking a sweat. He kept yelling out instructions one after the other, correcting their stances or manner of attack.

"You look like you want to join in on the fun, Kobashigawa." Their 5th Seat had managed to sneak up on her. Again. Among all of the members of their Division, it was Yumichika and Koichi who could sneak up on her the best. Their Lieutenant was the ultimate little sneak, but she usually wasn't interested in Hinagiku. Yachiru found the petite Shinigami boring, since she liked to write and write and then file all day, rather than play. The only thing which their Lieutenant valued was the fact that if Hinagiku did the paperwork, she wouldn't have to. Though, it was a passive sort of valuing, never mentioned, never known outloud.

"If I were being honest, I would tell you that as much as my mind years for a fight, my body wishes for a long, calm day of catching up on all the undone paperwork with maybe some chamomile tea on the side." Smiled Hinagiku. 5th Seat Yumichika, as eccentric as he was, was an intelligent and reasonable man, unlike many of the members of their Division.

"And I would gladly join you for that tea." Smiled the handsome Shinigami, patting her shoulder, which came to around the middle of his upper arm. "After I hand out a couple of beat downs over there, that is." Hinagiku couldn't suppress the relieved laughter which left her throat, erupting in a giggling fit when she calmed it down a tad. It was a good day to be alive. Yumichika looked at her with a strange, sympathetic look in his eyes, before he gave her a small smile. "It's good to have you back, Paper-pusher." And the 5th Seat stepped into his waraji, heading towards the brawling group on the grassy field. "It's even better to see you laugh like that." He tossed over his shoulder.

Hinagiku headed into the office with a soft smile. As macho and threatening as the 11th Division members were, they were quite kind, when the nature allowed them to be. No one really talked about the comradeship in the Squad, but everyone knew. It was kind of their 'code' if you could call it that. Hinagiku liked to compare it to the Bushido code, even. It was about honor. If one of your Division members needed help, you pitched in, no questions asked. To have the officers greet her when she'd come back from the 4th Division was proof enough. She hadn't been defeated. She had come back from her fight victorious. Hinagiku belonged.

She wasn't surprised at the mountain of papers which was tilting threateningly to the side, ready to fall. When she peered around it, she saw three more of the same size behind it. They hadn't touched their paperwork during her absence. With a sigh and a shake of her head, the girl headed to brew some tea before she began waddling through the reports. She was most definitely going to need some help. It was probably time to locate Koichi Matsushita, their 7th Seat and the only one who actually did more than his own paperwork.

Hinagiku took the cup of tea to the desk and searched for a couple of older papers. She was going to have to go from almost a month ago to the present time.

This might take a while. She sighed to herself, bringing the large pile to the desk. I definitely don't want to be injured again.

That's it for now!

All you orthodox readers, I wish you a happy Easter and holidays :)

Reviews:

Reaper2908:

I'm sorry about the cliffhanger xD Usually, I'm pretty bad at them, but some simply write themselves out xD

Thank you so much for the great compliment! I assure you, I'm in no way a professional… I just really like imagining different scenarios and I've recently become pretty good at writing them out :D Though, there will be some mention of the timeline later on :D

I hope that you enjoyed this, cliffhanger-free chapter :)

MidnightDusk2104:

Well… I'm not saying anything about her mother's death, except that it isn't too important for the storyline xD It's just a character-builder event.

As for the italics in the beginning, which do you think it is? :P I'm curious what you guys will make of it…

I hope that you enjoyed the new chapter!

Aowenn:

Well, if I didn't jump right in there, it would get pretty boring, no? After all, they are Shinigami xD As you saw, it was Tōshirō entering, and hopefully he was in character xD I have a tough time writing him… He's not the kind of person that I hang out with hahahaha

As for the updates, I'm really going to try and update on a weekly basis… I have some chapters already written out, so we're set for a couple more weeks xD But, I sometimes get hit by writer's block pretty severely xD

Aaah, I know what you mean.. Well, Hinagiku is overly polite and overly formal, but only because she was taught about it from a young age. I promise that she will gradually open up. But her Grandmother was pretty strict, not to mention that the world of nobles is cutthroat… well, you'll see in later chapters :) I couldn't resist not giving her an accent! I heard Yura from Nurarihyon no Mago and I was like, this is what Hinagiku speaks like xD

Oh, there are many things which I think makes them a good fit.. Well, maybe xD We'll see how it goes hahahaha Yeah, he's a right brat xD What can I say, Tōshirō definitely loves his title as a Captain, he earned it, after all.

Italics? Hmmmm… Maybe… I'm saying nothing xD I'm glad that you like the paper and origami thing :) I actually had two ideas for a Zanpakutō and then ended up combining them together to make this one… I was trying to go with a unique idea, though it was inspired from some other anime and books :D

Hope to hear from you again!

All the best until next week!