Kelly poked his head in Casey's bedroom and saw the Truck captain laying on the middle of the bed with his hand on his chest, intently staring up at the ceiling.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

Casey's gaze stayed upward as he answered, "Timing how fast my heart beats a minute."

"This is insane," Kelly grumbled under his breath as he entered the room and told Casey, "Alright, move over."

Casey didn't know what for, but he did, Kelly pulled the covers back and slid in on the other side and reached over and rolled Casey over towards him, lightly forcing the blonde man's ear against his chest. "Alright, do you hear that?"

Casey nodded.

"Okay, you keep track of my heart beating, and I'll keep track of yours."

"How?" Casey asked.

Kelly reached down and planted his hand on the chest of Casey's T-shirt. It was beating fast but given the circumstances, that wasn't too surprising, and Kelly didn't really think it was something to be alarmed about. But he'd keep track of it and see if it changed.

"That okay?" he asked.

"I guess so," Casey said.

"Okay...just close your eyes, breathe slowly...try to sleep."

He felt Matt nod against his chest.

"Thanks, Kelly."

"No problem, buddy."

Kelly stared up at the ceiling, and he listened to Casey's breathing, half of them sounded like a hum, felt the weight against him shift around slightly as Casey tried to get comfortable, and as muscles relaxed and resistance weakened, until finally the man on top of him was a dead weight, completely oblivious to anything around him. Kelly felt his heart beating through his shirt, the rate was slower now, Kelly found himself mentally counting to see how many times in a minute, but quickly forgot about that, no sense in both of them being weirdly obsessed about it.

The silence that filled the bedroom left Kelly's mind free to run wild as he tried to process the revelation Casey had dumped on him tonight. They all wondered about their own mortality from time to time, that was just normal, especially in their line of work, but Kelly couldn't offhand remember anybody suddenly getting the idea they'd be dead by their next birthday, that their time was running out that fast. For a moment his mind reluctantly entertained the notion that Casey might be intuitive of something, might know more than the rest of them, but he couldn't allow himself to focus on that too long. Nobody knew when their time was up, they could guess, they could obsess about it, but the truth was there was very little anybody could do to prevent it. Hard as they tried to save everyone on the job, they all knew everybody wouldn't make it, sometimes they wouldn't make it, sometimes they would pull people out of fires or car crashes, just for them to die later, either succumbing their injuries, or a post-op complication, or something not even related to their injuries. There just was no way to make any sense of how life and death worked, the whens, the whys, the hows. It freaked him out to see how worked up Casey was over this.

What could it be? If it had just been the events of the past few days, Kelly could understand that, but if Casey had been dwelling on this even longer than that, then he couldn't figure it out.

He also wasn't sure whether this was something the rest of the guys at 51 needed to know or not. Clearly it was weighing on Casey's mind heavily, but he hadn't even told Severide until now, he might not want anyone else knowing either. But this was a huge weight to keep to himself. Kelly hoped Casey would feel better in the morning after he actually slept, if he was able to sleep through the night, but if he wasn't, then Severide had to figure out how to help his friend, and he had no idea where to start.

Casey felt something against his ear and he could hear it as well, it felt like part of his body twitching, but he felt fine. He slowly opened his eyes and realized it was Kelly's heart beating under his head, he looked up and saw Kelly was still asleep, and for a moment, before he could actually remember what happened last night, Casey felt very awkward, and very panicked.

Then, it came back to him, he remembered what he'd told Kelly, and now he wished he could crawl under the covers and hide.

Kelly took a particularly deep breath and started to move as he opened his eyes.

"Hey Casey, you awake?"

"Uh...yeah," he answered as he sat up.

"How'd you sleep?"

"I...fine, I think...I don't really remember."

"Well that's got to be an improvement, right?" Kelly asked as he stretched and yawned before getting up.

"I guess so..." Casey tried to think of what to say in a situation like this, but nothing was coming to him.

"You feeling better today?"

"Uh, a little, I think," Casey said. "Listen, Kelly, I'm sorry about last night."

"But do you still think you're going to die by your birthday?" Kelly cut to the chase.

Matt stared at him for a few seconds before earnestly answering, "I don't know...but it's a feeling I can't shake, and I'm scared that it might actually mean something. I can still feel it, even now."

Kelly sighed. "Do you think it would help to...talk about this with anyone?"

Casey was shaking his head before Kelly even finished the question. "No, no one can know about this, I don't want everybody thinking I've lost my mind."

"They wouldn't think that, Matt."

"They'd all stare at me every day on shift, wondering if I'm nuts, or if I'm just a ticking time bomb...no, please don't tell them, Kelly."

"I won't." Kelly looked at him and asked, "Do you remember the other thing we talked about last night? Do you think you'd feel better if you went to another doctor?"

"I don't know...maybe..." Casey glanced down towards the floor before just barely looking towards Severide and sheepishly asked him, "Would you go with me?"

"Of course I will."

Casey nodded, "Thanks...maybe that'll make it a little easier."

The two lieutenants went in to 51 next shift without a word of any of this to anybody. As far as everybody was concerned, nothing out of the usual was going on. As far as firefighting went they had a slew of perfectly 'normal' calls that day, everybody got a little banged up and some bumps and bruises but no extraordinary injuries, which Kelly had hoped would do something to improve Casey's disposition. They didn't talk about it all day, but that night, when things had finally quieted down, and the guys were trying to get some sleep before the bells went off again, Kelly couldn't sleep wondering what was going through Casey's mind that night, so he made the short trip over to the other lieutenant's quarters.

"Just me, can I come in?" he whispered, spotting Casey laying on his bunk but definitely not asleep.

Casey looked towards the door and answered, "Sure."

Kelly shut the door behind him and asked as he went over to the bunk, "How're you doing?"

"Fine..." Casey answered less than convincingly.

"You okay?"

"Sure."

"What's wrong?" Kelly asked.

"Nothing," Casey insisted.

"So what're you doing?" Kelly asked.

"I just can't sleep," Casey told him.

"How come?"

Matt shrugged, "I just can't."

Kelly sighed in exasperation, "What's the matter, buddy?"

Casey shrugged again, "Just more of the same. Just thinking, about everything, listening to how fast my heart's beating...feels like my pulse is throbbing in my neck...I'm listening to myself breathe, I don't know if it's always sounded like this or it's different now."

Kelly rolled his eyes, thankful the room was dark so Casey didn't see, he knew this was all very real and very serious to Matt but there wasn't any way it couldn't come off as an absurd obsession.

"You want me to stay with you?" Kelly asked.

"You can't do that."

Kelly shrugged, "Why not?"

"If Boden finds out, or anybody else-"

"Nobody's going to find out...besides, it's not like we're doing anything wrong."

"But it's definitely weird," Casey replied.

"Well we've always been weird," Kelly pointed out, hoping it'd get a laugh out of the blonde lieutenant, but to no avail. "There's nothing in CFD protocol against it."

Casey sighed, "It'll be a tight fit."

Kelly snorted, "Yeah, like that's ever stopped me, move over."

Casey inched over to the edge as Severide crawled in beside him. It took a couple minutes for the two men to finally get semi-comfortable without something of somebody's getting crushed or jabbed by the other person, all of which seemed for naught when Kelly pulled Casey over towards him and pressed the blonde man's head against his chest.

"Seriously?" Casey asked.

"I told you," Kelly responded, "You keep track of mine, I'll keep track of yours."

Casey grunted as he got adjusted so he might actually be able to sleep in his current position, also adjusted to the sudden sensation of a hand pressed against his chest, but he focused on the slow pulsating sensation against his ear, and the slow rhythmic breaths of the other man, and after a while it seemed to actually lull him to sleep.

The next thing Kelly knew, sunlight was creeping in through the blinds and the whole office was lit up, letting him know it was morning. What time exactly, he had no idea. He also had no idea whether he should wake up the man sleeping on top of him, or if not, how to slip out from under Casey without the Truck lieutenant knowing. He was honestly amazed that Matt had slept through the night and hadn't waken up yet. With everything Matt had unloaded on him the other day, Severide was amazed the man didn't wake up screaming several times during the night.

He listened to the quiet sounds of Matt's steady breathing, and he found himself wondering if or where all the turmoil in his friend's head went when he finally got to sleep, if it shut off for a few hours, of it it persisted even in his dreams, of course Casey would never say either way, pulling teeth was usually easier than getting Casey to open up about what was going on in his life, which told him just how freaked out Matt had to be that this feeling he had was actually real and going to come true, otherwise he never would've offered that, drunk or not.

Kelly raised one hand to the back of Casey's head and absently ran it through his short hair, silently promising his friend that they would figure out what was going on. One thing was for sure, Casey couldn't keep on like this, or it would kill him.

Severide raised his head, and his whole body jerked as his eyes widened in panic.

The blinds for the windows looking outside were closed, but the blinds for the windows looking out to the bunk room were all open and up, giving Kelly a perfect view of Boden standing by the door looking in at the two of them.

Kelly's eyes felt as big as his whole head, his mind scrambled, trying to think. He quickly slipped one hand under Casey's cheek and raised his head just enough for Kelly to get out from under him and eased the blonde man's head down on the pillow, still asleep and blissfully unaware of anything that was happening. Severide on the other hand was not so lucky as he followed Boden to his office.

"I can explain, Chief," was the first thing that came to Kelly's mind once he closed the door behind them.

"I'm all ears, Kelly," Boden replied.

Unfortunately that was all Kelly had. His mind raced to come up with an answer, and all he could think up was, "It's not what it looks like."

Boden stared straight at the younger man and said simply but firmly, "I sincerely hope not. Now what is going on?"

Kelly thought, and he thought quick, and he decided his best hope was the truth.

"I think...I think Casey's having some kind of midlife crisis."

Boden's eyes narrowed and his eyebrows raised slightly, "What do you mean?"

"He's got it in his head that he's not going to live long enough to reach his next birthday," Kelly explained, not knowing what else to do, "I don't know, he seems to have it in his head that he's a walking time bomb, it's really got him messed up, Chief, he can't sleep, he keeps thinking his heart's going to stop so he stays up all night checking it, I'm worried about him, Chief."

Boden took a moment to let this all sink in. "Casey's had two close calls in a week, that could leave any man questioning his mortality."

Kelly shook his head, "He says it's been going on longer than that, though...that probably really cemented it for him."

"Casey just passed his CFD physical."

"Yeah," Kelly nodded, "everything's good, I suggested he get a second opinion, but he's still not convinced. It's really freaking him out, Chief, and..." he shrugged, still not really sure how to put this, "I mean...does anybody have to know about this?"

"Oh trust me, it would be better if no one knew about this," Boden told him. He sighed exasperatedly and said, "Maybe Casey would benefit from some professional help."

Kelly raised one eyebrow questioningly, "A therapist? What good would that do?"

"I'm not sure," Boden said. "But it's obvious he needs some kind of help."

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, Chief," Kelly said, "in the meantime..."

Boden reluctantly nodded and said, "Just as long as I don't have to have this get back to me by someone else who was passing by the bunk room. I don't like it, but there's nothing in the protocol about ordering everyone to sleep in their own bunks...as long as that's all they're doing."

That statement made Kelly unintentionally break out laughing. He held his hands up and said, "I swear."

"Good," Boden responded, "I can tolerate only so many surprises at one time, Kelly."

That drew another small laugh out of Kelly before he calmed down and said, turning to look out the window, "Yeah, I think...I think Casey's feeling the same way right now."