Kelly walked out to the living room and saw Casey pacing around the middle of the floor.
"Come on, Casey, breakfast is going to get cold."
"I can't eat," Casey replied.
"You've hardly eaten anything all week, and your physical's not for hours, you have to eat," Kelly told him.
Casey shook his head, "No, I don't want to get a bad reading on anything from something I ate."
"It's oatmeal, that can't hurt you," Kelly said as he went over to the blonde man and grabbed him by the wrist, "Now come on, or I'll feed you myself."
"Why am I doing this?" Casey asked himself as they went into the kitchen.
"To find out whether the first physical was right or not," Kelly said.
"But what if this new one finds something they missed?" Casey asked. "What if it's bad news?"
Kelly's patience were wearing thin but he struggled to hold it together, "Then we'll figure out what to do next. But they're not going to find anything, just calm down."
"You don't know that," Casey said as he sat down at the table.
"I do because I know you and you're the healthiest person I know," Kelly said, "aside from the fact you live off leftover pizza, you really need to stop doing that, you know. Besides, it doesn't matter what I know, the tests will show that."
"What if they don't?"
"They won't if you don't calm down," Kelly said as he dished up a bowl of oatmeal for him, "you go in as wired up as you are now, your blood pressure's gonna be 300 over 10, then they'll have to call Ripley's."
"Don't make me laugh," Casey said, "don't make me laugh, Kelly."
"Well I'm trying, but I'm not getting anywhere," Severide responded as he sat down across from him, "look, buddy, I know how much you're worried about this, but I'm telling you, you're going to be fine. Hell, you'll probably be the fittest person the doc's ever seen."
"I'm scared, Kelly."
"I know you are, but you've been through these tests before, you could pass them in your sleep."
"I wish it was already over."
"I know," Kelly said sympathetically, "but it will be soon, you just need to be patient and relax."
"How can I relax?" Casey asked.
That was the question Kelly couldn't answer. He thought for a minute as he ate, then asked, "You ever do crossword puzzles?"
"What?" Casey asked.
"I saw one in the paper today, they're supposed to be relaxing."
"The voice of experience, I presume?" Casey replied.
"It's more relaxing when you don't have bells going off every time you sit down to work one," Kelly said.
Casey sighed in frustration, "Alright, I'll give it a try after we eat."
Kelly felt exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically. They'd gotten back from the doctor's a while ago and he'd spent about the whole time sitting on the floor holding onto Casey, who upon arriving home, had collapsed on the floor in a ball and alternated between crying and laughing, and they'd been in this position for about an hour.
The physical had gone well, the lab work would take time to get the results, same with the stress test though. Casey had seemed surprised and disappointed the doctor wouldn't give him those results right away. When they'd left, Kelly told him, "I asked one of the nurses, they said if there's anything wrong that needs immediate treatment, they give you the results right away, the fact the doc's gonna mail them to you next week tells you there's nothing pressing. If you really were going to die in two months, they would've told you something."
Casey hadn't seemed to accept this idea right away but slowly during the drive home he seemed to come to terms with the fact that he didn't have a ticking time bomb in his chest that was about to explode, and bit by bit it overwhelmed him and by the time they got home he could hardly even stand up. Kelly got him inside and they only made it as far as the living room before Matt collapsed entirely.
Kelly slowly realized Casey was getting quiet now and it surprised him. He glanced down at the man whose head he'd been resting his chin against and asked him, "You feeling better?"
Casey slowly answered as he pulled away from Kelly, "I...I'm not sure, I think so...a little anyway."
"It'll get better," Kelly said as they slowly stood up. Kelly groaned as he tried to work the kinks out of his legs, "you feel like getting lunch?"
Matt thought about it for a few seconds and nodded, "Yeah...I do."
Kelly lightly knocked on the door frame as he stepped into Matt's room late that night, "Still can't sleep?"
Casey sat on the bed and shrugged as he explained, "I've tried...nothing's working."
"You okay?" Kelly asked.
Matt shrugged again, "I guess so...I must be, right?"
"But?"
"I know I'm driving you crazy with all this, and I'm sorry," Matt told him.
"You don't have to apologize to me, buddy, what's wrong?" Kelly asked.
"I...don't know...but I still can't shake this feeling, even though I know the physical went well...it's just not going away, Kelly, and it scares me."
"You still got a lot on your mind, I get it," Kelly said as he walked over to the bed and climbed on beside Matt. "But buddy, you've got to try and rest, this isn't doing you any good."
"I know," Matt replied, "but I don't know what to do. I can't rest, because I keep thinking how much time I'm wasting not doing anything...but then I feel like what's the point? I've wasted so much time already."
"You haven't wasted anything."
"I'm not married, I don't have any kids, I'm not in any relationship with any woman, and I've never gotten to try any of the things I always wanted to do, what would you call that, Kelly?" Matt asked.
"Burying yourself in your work," the Squad lieutenant replied. "We've all done it."
"Never stops you from doing anything," Matt pointed out with a snort.
"I'm not looking for commitment, you know that, it's different," Kelly told him.
"It's not even about commitment," Matt replied. "Anytime you get an idea, you do it."
Severide folded his arms on the bed and buried the bottom half of his face in them, glaring at Casey from the nose up like a dog.
"You could do that," Kelly pointed out. "Like you said, you're not in any relationship, your responsibilities are severely limited to yourself, you could just take off and do something."
Casey sighed, "I wouldn't even know where to start."
Kelly lay on the other side of the bed in silent contemplation for a minute.
"You want me to stay with you tonight?" he asked.
Casey looked at him, an expression that said he didn't dare to hope.
"Would you mind?"
Kelly offered a reassuring smile, "No problem, buddy."