A/N: Thanks to SWWoman for all of her hard work, and the gift of her time. No long speeches about the delay of posting I'll just let you get on with it (those that are still with me). Smut alert at the beginning of this chapter. If you don't care for that you can skip to the break, and start there. Please enjoy...

A More Conventional Life 9

Joss, I love you, and I want to be with you, however that may be possible.

The words swept through Joss's mind like a whirlwind, and she returned John's kiss with a ferocity she didn't know she possessed. One of his hands dove into her hair, and cupped the back of her head to hold her steady for the onslaught of his kiss. Then one of his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to his body. Her hands found their way over his body to thread her fingers through his short, soft hair to pull his head down to meet her thirsty lips.

Soon they had to separate to breathe, but John took that opening, and began burning a trail of hot, wet kisses along her neck. Joss moaned softly, and laid her head against his as an eruption of heat burned through her body straight to her center. He kissed his way to her ear, and traced the shell with the tip of his tongue before dipping it into her ear quickly. He pulled on the lobe of her ear, and then kissed the sensitive spot just behind it, making her shift restlessly in his arms. She had been so caught up in the sensations from his hands and mouth on her body, she hadn't realized that he had walked them backwards toward his bed until the backs of her knees hit the side. He pulled his lips away from her neck, and looked deep into her eyes.

"Joss, you will be the only woman I ever make love to in this bed," John said hotly, then his tongue plunged into her mouth, sliding sensually against hers.

With the fire burning between them, their clothes seemed to melt from their bodies. John gently, almost reverently, picked Joss up and laid her on his bed, following her down until he rested between the apex of her lovely thighs where he could feel the heat from her sex as his cock lay against her. He laid his weight on his forearms as he pressed himself against her intimately, and they both moaned with pleasure. His head dipped to take one hard, tight nipple into his mouth, drawing on it slowly at first then increasing the pressure until he was sucking forcefully on the fully erect peak. He cupped her breasts in his palms, molding them to his hands, marveling at how perfectly they fit there. He released her nipple to take her lips in a hard kiss, his passion crashing through him unchecked.

Their bodies writhed together on John's new bed as their desire for each other burned brighter. Their hands stroked and caressed one another, and neither of them seemed to be in a hurry. Every murmur of passion, every whisper of love, and every moan of pleasure fanned the fire between them. They devoured one another with their mouths and tongues, teasing with fingers, reveling in each new sensation.

When John entered Joss, it was with a slow, powerful thrust until he was buried deep inside her wet heat. A low, audible sigh escaped them both as he sheathed himself within her body, and then he began to move in long, languid strokes, driving himself deeper with every thrust. He had never felt this connected to a woman ever before in his life. He knew making love to her was different this time as he gazed into her dark, impassioned eyes, unable to look away. Their fingers entwined, and soon his movements became more powerful as the sensations pulsing through his body became too much to bear. He cried out sharply as a keen spike of pleasure pierced his loins, and he buried his face in her shoulder, still moving with slow, but deeper, harder strokes, needing to be consumed by her.

When their bodies joined it was as if their souls melded together, and it was explosive. The pleasure, and sensations John created in Joss's body was something she had never known before. As he moved inside her, strong, yet slow and deep, he touched every nerve in her body. He used every part of his body to bring her pleasure unlike anything she had ever experienced, and she knew that he was feeling the same way. She followed his cues on what he enjoyed, and John was not shy about expressing his pleasure as she listened to his moans and soft grunts. She soon had to have more, and as if their bodies were in complete harmony, he sensed what she needed, and gave her everything…and more. She cried out his name as the pleasure spiked in her body, sending ripples of ecstasy cascading through her. She could feel her body tightening, her release rushing towards her as their bodies moved in sync. Then suddenly, she was rocked by the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced. It surged through her sex, driving her hips up forcefully as she cried out John's name, and lost herself on a wave of pure bliss in a sea of erotic sensation.

As soon as John felt Joss's release he could no longer control his own. Her sex constricted around his, and he nearly blacked out from the force of his own release. Her orgasm cascaded over his pulsing cock, making him jerk inside her, filling her completely as their orgasms fed the other's. He found himself lying atop Joss trembling, gasping for breath, and with a huge effort, he wrapped his arms around her, rolling onto his back with her beside him.

Neither could speak for a long time as they both came down from their highs. Joss still shivered from her own orgasm; it was so intense. John ran his fingers softly up and down her arm as they lay with their bodies entwined, catching their breath while their bodies cooled.

"I meant what I said, Joss," John affirmed quietly. "I don't know how we're going to do it, but I want this to work…I want 'Us' to work." He pulled her closer to him. "I love you, Joss."

Joss turned her body so that she was laying on his chest with her arms crossed beneath her chin, looking up at him. "I know you mean it. I love you too. Somehow we'll figure it out. 'We' will work." Then she leaned forward and kissed him tenderly.

When she pulled back they both were smiling. They knew they could make it work …somehow.

They made love and talked all that afternoon, and well into the evening. Hunger finally made them stop for Chinese take out, which John went to pick up while Joss changed the sheets on the bed with a spare set she found in the linen closet. She also took time to do a few touch ups for herself by brushing out her hair, brushing her teeth, and applying a spritz of her favorite jasmine perfume from the small bottle she carried in her purse. She also had a small tube of concealer, and a Very-Berry lip gloss which she just finished applying when John came back with the food. She didn't have any extra clothes with her, so at the moment, she was wearing one of John's new crisp white shirts she found hanging in the closet. The thing nearly swallowed her, falling to her mid-thigh, and she had to roll the sleeves in order to use her hands, but she didn't mind. She loved the way the fabric felt against her skin, as if it were caressing her as he would caress her.

John came through the door of his apartment, and stopped in his tracks when he saw Joss leaning against the back of his sofa, wearing one of his white dress shirts…and a smile. He almost dropped the bags of food in his arms as all the blood in his body seemed to rush south, stiffening his already semi-hard cock. She had applied something to her lips that made them glisten, and he licked his lips as his mouth watered with the desire to taste hers.

Joss broke the spell John seemed to have fallen under by asking, "I opened a bottle of wine here on the coffee table, unless you would rather eat at the dinner table?" She said with a knowing smile, as if she knew exactly where his thoughts had been.

John gave Joss a knowing smile in return that nearly stole her breath, and motioned to the coffee table as he walked toward it. "The coffee table will do just fine. I see you found the wine glasses without any problem," he commented as he set the bags of food on the table beside two bowl wine glasses, and a bottle of red wine Finch had obviously left in his refrigerator..

"I'd love for you to teach me some of those exotic meals you learned in other countries," Joss said, turning the subject back to cooking while John pulled out the food from the bags. He had mentioned learning some recipes while overseas, and with the CIA.

"I'd love to. It would be something we could do together outside of work," John replied absently as he popped open a box of General Cho Chicken, and then offered her a set of chopsticks before opening his own. Joss had opened a box of Sweet Honey Mustard Chicken, and dove in with her own chopsticks. They split the fried rice and cream cheese stuffed fried wantons between them, and ate in silence for a while.

It had been a meal fit for a queen, and Joss soon lay back against the corner of the sofa, with her wine glass in her hand, unable to eat another bite. John chuckled as he threw his own chopsticks on the coffee table in defeat, and laid his body across hers on the sofa. He gave her a sultry gaze that her body translated in seconds. She placed her hand around his neck to pull him closer. She could already feel his hardness against her thigh, and she felt herself become wet in response. She had never been this responsive to a man before. He bent his head, and took her lips in a sensuous kiss. When he pulled back his eyes were a smoky blue of desire. Her eyes scanned his handsome face. She still couldn't believe they had gotten to this place so much sooner than she had expected. She didn't realize she was smiling until John spoke.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked softly.

"Just how happy I am that we finally got to this place in our lives," her eyes still scanned his face, drinking him in.

"If I hadn't been so stubborn we'd have been here a lot sooner," John replied, kissing her jaw then her neck.

Joss didn't want to spoil what they were enjoying together, but she felt that, in order for them to move forward, John was going to have to open up, and tell her what was really bothering him about the dream he had been having. She sat up, lightly pushing against his chest to move him upward also. He looked at her quizzically as she set her wine glass on the coffee table. She turned, took both of his hands, and looked him in the eyes.

"John, I know you've opened up, and told me a lot of things about your past, and about the dream you are having," Joss took a deep breath before pressing forward, "but you haven't told me the thing that is truly bothering you about that dream."

John's face clouded over, and his eyes became shuttered, looking down at their clasped hands. No, he hadn't told her what was really bothering him because he didn't want to say what he felt, what he knew, out loud. It would not only reveal how he felt, but also the shameful things he had done in the past, and he was afraid to tell Joss about that. It was no secret that his past was dark, but so far he had been able to shield her from the details of that darkness. He absently caressed her hand as these thoughts tumbled through his mind, then he felt her squeeze his hand and he looked up. He could see the love, tenderness and understanding in her soft, brown eyes, and he relaxed.

Releasing Joss's hands, John sat back against the couch with his arm stretched out along the back. He patted it with his hand. "You might as well get comfortable if you want me to tell you," a soft, sad smile curved his lips.

Joss sat back, and relaxed into the curve of his arm, but turned so she could see his face.

With bright, teary, blue eyes John said, "I failed my father at his graveside."

A/N: I'm already working on the next chapter, but I wanted to let you know that a new chapter for Who Should I Be Now should be coming up next week. I know I haven't posted to that story in a while, but I was kind of having some writers block, but I think I'm ready to move forward. Cross your fingers! Thanks for reading! See you soon...