A Game of Cat and Cat

by Zantetsuken Reverse

When supernatural crime strikes, as a wielder of magic powers, it's your responsibility to fight. If you're an endgame protagonist, a few criminals should be easy, right? Except your powers aren't exactly legal, and the cops are after you. And you're not the only endgame protagonist out there... A tale of cops, crooks, and everyone in between.

11. Chapter 11: Prelude to Pandemonium

I am now crossposting on Archive of Our Own, so if you like the story but don't want to slog through all the commentary, try there. I'm also on tumblr as the Cake-Apostate. I'm not explaining why I'm called that. Now go put rum in your eclairs and vodka in your pie crust.

(I started writing this chapter almost immediately after writing the first, including the author's notes. So yes, some entries are a little dated).

I saw season four of Castlevania, and I liked it a lot! Major tone shift, but I like happy endings. I greatly prefer these versions of Carmilla and Isaac; Carmilla in the games was just kinda there to me. And I guessed the twist with Varney the moment he said that all of Ratko's murders 'nourished' him.

And yay, Richter and Maria! Yeah, setting it in France works, since Belmont and Renard are both French names. I think a great way to introduce the season would be peasants ominously discussing the nobles in the manor and how they're known for their cruelty and witchcraft, and then it turns out it's the Belmonts. When your family weapon of choice is the whip, it's easy to misinterpret it as the yoke of slavery. Plus, it's possible that the Enlightenment would dismiss their claims of vampire hunting as fearmongering to control the masses, kind of like the Romanian mafia.

Now that Grimoire of Souls is finished, I'll say that it's why Alucard is busy. Remember, the Soma we see in Grimoire isn't the real Soma. It looks fun and I would buy it; subscribing to a service is a different story.

I finished one route of SMT V, and I love it. My only complaint is that there wasn't enough of it. I want to incorporate it into this story, but I'll only do it in earnest after I finish writing the current plotline. This means that nothing I have written so far has had anything to do with SMT V, including the identities of the murderer and accomplice, or the second… Situation (yes, it's pronounced with the pause, like… the Woodpecker from Going Postal) that the Agency is dealing with.

At first, I thought that Bethel would make the Agency redundant, since I thought Bethel was a government organization. Then I remembered that Bethel is international, and just because they have the Japanese Prime Minister on their payroll doesn't mean that they're government sanctioned.

Now I'm imagining that when Koshimizu became Prime Minister, he got the requisite 'president learns about secret government organization' visit, but it's the Agency. Since he already knows that demons are real, he's trying and failing to act surprised. Meanwhile, Abdiel (disguised as security) is laughing her butt off in the background, and Koshimizu tries to cover for her by saying, "Yes, um… Abby here has a cold."

And then the other secret government organizations come in. "Hi, I'm Shinshuke Higawa, Director of FALCON. We use giant mechas to fight evil cyborgs."

(I wrote this note before SMT V came out, when I knew nothing about Koshimizu or Abdiel's personalities. I figured that they were workplace buddies, and the mental image was too funny to be contradicted by canon).

I can appreciate how bluntly it showed that it wasn't Persona. At the same time, I wanted to see more of normal Tokyo. What do normal people think of all this? Actually, you know what I wanted? Sidequests and errands in normal Tokyo. Normal Tokyo is stiflingly small; I feel the same way about Mikado. There's more than just what you see, and I want to see more.

I got what I asked for: Law isn't terrible. Losing YHVH was the best thing that ever happened to them; now we see what they want, not what God wants. The argument has gone from 'Order is God's will' to 'We need order because X, and we want God back because he brought order'. I actually felt sorry for them sometimes. They're not perfect, but they're viable.

The story felt rushed, but not bad; I wanted more characters, subplots, and locations. That said, I think there are fewer locations and people because of higher graphic standards; SMT4 and Apocalypse got away with almost no 3D character models and tons of rooms that were just backgrounds with sprites… and now I realize that Nocturne had so few humans to avoid making models (besides the main characters, there's just the ticket guy at the start of the game). It also doesn't help that the maps look smaller in hindsight; when you first get into them, they look huge.

I think that it's cool that Fire Emblem Three Houses gives you the Monastery, but at the same time, when you can reach anywhere on the continent through your home base, I don't know where anything is, so I no longer feel like I'm making geographic progress. The Jugdral games were good about this; we got to see the whole continent in Genealogy, and Thracia made a whole game out of Leif being a refugee. What I want to see for a hypothetical Genealogy remake is that since you start every chapter in a castle, all those castles have smaller unique map that you can run around in. Since both the prologue and the final chapter start in Chalphy Castle, it would be cool to see how it changed over time. Paralogues could take place in the territories you already conquered, since most chapters take place a year or so apart (or between chapters 3 and 4, around the castle).

Trivia: Why is the SMT spell that buffs all your stats called Luster Candy? Luster in Japanese transliterates to Ra-Su-Ta, and the three stat prefixes are Ra- for defense, Su- for agility, and Ta- for attack.

Who Knows What

Yoko and the Agency: Naoki and Aoi and her gang know that they're in Haruhata, but they think they're generally policing the area rather than looking for one specific person. Julius, Soma, Mina, and Kazuya know that they're looking for a demon summoner, and that they're short-handed because of two… Situations. The first is the fallout from the Phantom Thieves, and the second is unknown even to Yoko (again, it has nothing to do with SMT V).

Kazuya's secrets: Naoki knows that Kazuya is a summoner and almost nothing else. Mina and Soma know a summary of SMT1; Kazuya specifically omitted that he married the rebel leader, but Soma knows that he killed his friends and why.

Aoi's secrets: Naoki is the only person who knows her real name and her past, but she barely mentioned Kazuya, not even by name. Her gang doesn't know her real name, but I haven't established whether they know her past or not.

Naoki's secrets: Soma, Mina, and Kazuya know that he's a former demon summoner, but almost nothing else. Aoi knows that he's a demon and a short outline of Nocturne's plot; she knows that Hijiri helped him, but he didn't mention anyone else.

Soma's secrets: The only people who know that Soma is Dracula's reincarnation are people who know in canon. Naoki knows that he's involved in the supernatural. Kazuya knows the premise of Aria and was told that Soma is the reincarnation of a powerful wizard who inherited the power to permanently absorb magic.

Also, Julius has a student in Haruhata. He does not know if they know that Dracula's reincarnation is in town or not, and cannot ask without revealing it.

Nicknames, Aliases, OCs, etc.

Agent Fireball is the senior agent in charge of the training group. Agents Lily, Dragon, and Reaper are Jun Kurosu, Lisa Silverman, and Eikichi Mishina respectively. The rest are unimportant, but they're distinct if you're looking.

Madam Pain is an alias for Aoi Miyama, heroine of SMT I.

Doctor Dude and Mr. Adams run an underground clinic. Both Aoi and the Agency go there.

Prelude to Pandemonium

"Leon tends to overexplain every aspect of life he encounters. For every page about an exciting battle with a pack of werewolves at the edge of a mighty cliff, there are ten more detailing what kind of rock the cliff was made of or a study of how pack dynamics between true wolves, werewolves, and humans differ. While this is certainly of great historical value and would be a veritable gold mine for certain professors, it is also very frustrating for those who just want an adventure story. To this, I say: 'If I had to suffer through this, you do, too.'"

-Translator's note on the Diary of Leon Belmont. Julius admitted to writing this after spending several days on a passage dedicated entirely to the construction of shoes in a remote Finnish village, which later turned out to contain vital clue in the Mystery of the Cat that Turned Out Not to be a Cat After All.

Time passed, as it always does.

Aoi handed in her essay, Hawk handed her the recordings, Kazuya attended his lab, Mina took a test, Naoki handed in his physics homework and received a second one, Soma handed in his paper, and the Agents opened and closed a few cases. The sun rose and set, the weather inched (or millimetered) towards the positive end of Celsius, and another person was reported missing (a Fumiko Ishikawa, aged 47). The last night of January dropped deluge upon deluge of freezing rain, leaving February 1st to deal with the slick, icy mess.

Agent Fireball, however, enjoyed the wee hours of his Sunday cozy underneath three blankets, blissfully unaware of the elbow fracture that awaited him.

Then at exactly 6:12 am, his cell phone rang.

"How long are you going to deny this, you fake?!"

Agent Fireball crooned his best impression of whale song in response.

"Laugh while you can. You don't belong in this world and you know it. You don't even care who sacrificed their lives for your tepid existence. Not even that girl you loved so much."

Agent Fireball serenaded his mysterious caller with a rendition of The Joker's iconic laugh (the Mark Hamill version) while he changed out of his pajamas and into his work clothes.

"Aye, for the golden sun and azure skies have abandoned you forevermore, and through a cage of steel the other you watched in vain as he could do nothing, absolutely nothing, to stop the coming end—"

"Merrily the butterfly skipped over the wide ocean waves, unaware of the golden scepter that awaited him in the dark, distant lands of Candyland the musical," Agent Fireball sang at random.

"You're just a clone, created from the stupid wish of some lonely chil—"

Agent Fireball mimicked the noise of a cell phone beep as he hung up. The strange mark on his arm tingled, but he ignored it. He was in the mood for a meaty breakfast today, maybe bacon and eggs—

His protégés were standing outside his bedroom door. He blinked. They stared.

"Um… what was that all about?" said Agent Dragon, staring at Agent Fireball as if he'd not only grown a second head, but started to brush its teeth as well.

Agent Fireball sighed, reentered his room, and handed her a laminated card. "Read this out loud for the class."

"On the first day of every month, at exactly 6:12 a.m., a strange man calls me from an untraceable number," Agent Dragon recited. "Yes, I have tried changing my number. No, he doesn't call if I don't sleep next to my phone, but a minor inconvenience is not worth sleeping through an emergency call. Yes, we have looked into it, but we couldn't find anything. No, the time does not match whatever time zone I'm in; it's always 6:12 a.m. in Japan. No, we do not know the significance of these numbers."

"And the whale song?" asked Agent Reaper.

"Fun and catharsis," said Agent Fireball, yawning. "Sometimes I shout and curse, sometimes I babble, but most of the time I make noises until he shuts up. Now, is this time-sensitive, or can we talk over breakfast?"

Everyone all started talking at once.

Agent Fireball sighed. "Agent Cowboy, you go."

X

Meanwhile…

Julius slammed his head into the pillow. Birds chirped outside the hotel room window, a lovely treat for people who wake up before dawn, but a mocking reminder of lost time for night owls and insomniacs.

Before he could resign himself to Morpheus's embrace, he'd have to fix his schedule. He texted Apprentice #149 in Romanian, 'Training is cancelled today, for reasons that you are no doubt aware'.

Julius burrowed under the covers and tried to sort out what the hell he saw last night.

X

Also Meanwhile…

Mina woke to Proto Man's Blues Whistle. She sat up, trying to find the source.

"Here," said an unfamiliar voice. Mina stared blearily in the voice's general direction, until she remembered how Kazuya summoned a succubus named Edith to walk her home.

Mina took the phone gingerly, mouthing a 'thank you' before diving beneath the covers. "What do you want, Soma?" she hissed.

"Hi Mina," said Soma through the phone. "We, uh… crap, how do I say this?"

"Ask her if she has hydrogen peroxide," Kazuya said in the background.

"Yes, I do. Did you seriously call me at…" she glanced at her alarm clock, "six in the morning just because you wanted peroxide?" Mina rubbed her eyes. "What the hell do you need it for?"

"The same reason you have it," said Kazuya.

"Kazuya, running out of hair dye is not an emergency."

"No, not that. Didn't… your mother must have shown you how to use it. It's for that."

"Cleaning toilets is not an emergency, either. Go pee in the bushes if you have to."

Kazuya sighed. "Hydrogen peroxide is an effective way of cleaning blood out of most types of cloth."

"What kind of life do you think I'm living? Whose blood am—oh," said Mina. "You're talking about discount virgin's blood. Does that really help?"

"Take it from me, it does," said Kazuya.

Soma coughed. "This is cool and all, but look, we're got jelly doughnuts with corn syrup and whipped cream in the basement, and you'd better get them while they're fresh."

"Edith might like some, too," Kazuya added.

It took Mina a moment to remember the code. "Be right there."

"Bring something to eat, too," said Soma. "We… you'll see."

"Don't forget my jacket!" Kazuya called right before she hung up.

X

But before we can hear about the events of last night, we must first start with the events of the day.

X

(Saturday, January 31st, 1:27 a.m.)

One hundred milliamps. Barely enough current to charge your phone. Probably just noise on some oscilloscopes. Plug it into the average incandescent light bulb, get a feeble glow like the embers of the campfire long after the last s'mores have been eaten.

One hundred milliamps is just enough current to kill a man.

The murderer faced three men in an alley. The fourth was lying on the ground, writhing in what looked like agony, but was in fact his nerves screaming as five amps of current surged through his lifeless body. His buddies ignored him, thinking that he'd just been punched hard in the stomach, not tazed so far beyond the legal limit that his eyeballs were melting in their sockets. To them, the smell of sewage was the stench of a filthy alleyway, not their friend's bowels releasing their load with no dignity left to salvage.

The leader shouted at his buddy to get up, and when the body failed to miraculously rise from the dead, spat on him. He brandished his knife in what he thought was a threatening manner (amateurs, thought the murderer, you don't brandish that kind of knife, you conceal), and the other two lackeys followed suit.

The murderer might have run if they were Yakuza. Making an enemy out of organized crime is never a good idea, no matter how powerful you are. But they weren't Yakuza; the Yakuza had more profitable things to do than rob people in alleyways.

The murderer might have forgiven them if they were kids. Oh, they'd be thrashed within an inch of their lives, but just as a lesson, so they'd know to get out of this dirty business. But these weren't kids; judging by their faces, builds, and expensive suits, these were full-grown men.

The murderer might have spared them if they were drunk. The murderer knew perfectly well how alcohol affects inhibitions, and how it unshackles the beast within. But judging by their surefooted strides and absence of alcohol on their breath, they couldn't have been past the 'have a drink to ask Suzie Jenkins on a date' stage; anything they did now, they would have wanted to do sober.

By then, one of the lackeys noticed that something was wrong. He nudged the fallen member with his foot, then knelt to shake him. No response. No pulse.

Now or never.

The murderer pounced.

X

(10:17 a.m.)

Naoki was now a member of Aoi's gang. Somehow, he had a vague feeling that this should have been harder; like he should have paid member's dues or mud-wrestled a lion or something. But no, all he had to do was read a brochure and meet up with them whenever he could.

Even the meetings were weird. Naoki had expected to sneak off to the docks or a warehouse, or even the power plant like before, to sit on barrels and talk about beating people up. And when Aoi picked him up from the convenience store for his first meeting, they did pass by quite a few abandoned factories on their way to the real meetup spot—an apartment building.

"You live here?" said Naoki when she unlocked the basement door.

Aoi nodded, and handed him the key. "Take it. I have copies."

Naoki put it on his keychain. "I'm not complaining, but is that legal?"

"My… landlady is in the gang. She understands."

Naoki suddenly imagined a middle-aged woman in glasses and an apron running around with Aoi's band of teenagers.

"…How?" Naoki managed.

"It's a long story, and you probably won't see her today," said Aoi. "I won't say why, because I respect her privacy, but she doesn't practice in the room we're using today."

Naoki nodded.

Aoi opened the door.

It is said that it takes six seconds to make a first impression, and six years to undo one. Most public buildings are fortunate in this regard, as they are given two chances to make first impressions: the façade and the lobby. As it is less expensive to maintain the interior than the exterior, the lobby tends to be the fanciest room in the building, with the possible exception of the executive suite. Most apartment complexes Naoki had entered, both residential and professional, had stone floors so shiny that you could make out the ceiling pattern (but not so shiny that ladies couldn't wear skirts), chandeliers that cast scattered rainbows across gold-threaded furniture, and wide glass walls and doors that allowed an unobstructed view from the street (saving costs on the façade was well). But once you entered the metal-walled elevator, you'd find that the upper floors consisted of cramped hallways walled with white plaster and floored with the kind of industrial carpet that you knew was scratchy because it was the same kind you used to play on as a child.

Naoki was surprised to find that this apartment building didn't follow this model.

"This is a basement?" he said in awe. He'd expected a concrete tunnel, lined with mysterious pipes and slightly cracked walls. Not polished marble walls lined with paintings, nor wine-red carpet that tickled his ankles as he walked, like an underwater stroll through red kelp. "It's like…"

An opera house?

A bordello?

That episode of the Simpsons where Homer joins the not-Stonemasons and gets to drive though a secret tunnel to work?

"The Moscow Metro," Naoki concluded.

Aoi looked up. "Not nearly enough chandeliers."

"But you know what I mean, right?" said Naoki, waving his hand vaguely. "I thought Choo Choo Chums Centennially was running an ad for an art museum at first." He flicked the light switch, but nothing happened.

"The electricity got cut off years ago," explained Aoi, handing him an electric lantern from a line next to the door. "Same with internet. The only reason why we still pay for running water is hygiene." Lightning arced between her fingertips, and she tapped each of the lanterns in turn. "It's not for everyone, but it's not so bad if you can do magic."

"…You're cheap, aren't you?" said Naoki.

"Thrift is a virtue," said Aoi stiffly.

Naoki decided not to pursue that line of inquiry. He untied his outdoor shoes. "So what's the point of all this?" He gestured towards the luxurious paintings.

"Some cult funded it," said Aoi, taking off her outdoor shoes. "You know, the standard deal; worship your god, prosperity and good fortune tend your days, human sacrifice on the last full moon of the year or else the sun doesn't come up."

"And you live here why?" said Naoki, taking out his indoor slippers.

"Landlady doesn't charge me rent," said Aoi, slipping on her indoor slippers.

Naoki stopped to consider this. Would I live with an evil cult if it meant free board?

Scratch that, would I live with an evil cult for free board if I weren't an indestructible demon?

"Is that worth a Satanic cult as neighbors?"

Aoi shook her head. "No, they weren't Satanic. Their iconography did not correspond with any known form of Abrah—"

"You know what I mean," said Naoki.

The edges of Aoi's mouth twitched upwards. "I didn't know about the cult when I moved in."

"And yet you didn't move out," said Naoki.

Aoi shrugged. "It's not a problem anymore. I killed them all."

Naoki choked. "You what?"

"They tried to sacrifice me and the other residents," said Aoi, arms crossed. "Naturally, I objected."

Naoki swallowed. That's…better. Not good, but understandable. "And you never got caught?"

Aoi stared off into space. "I got lucky. They kept their sacrificial altar in a hidden room, so the only surviving witnesses were the other would-be sacrifices, none of whom were willing to implicate their rescuer. Most of the cultists created fake alibis, so the police were looking elsewhere when they went missing. And…" Aoi grimaced. "I don't want to talk about what happened to the bodies."

"Understandable," said Naoki. He tilted his head. "How long ago was this?"

"If you're asking if they had anything to do with the disappearances, this was just after I started college, so… wow, almost four years ago," said Aoi.

Naoki nodded. "Anyways, you still haven't answered my question. Why is this basement so fancy?"

Aoi dusted a picture frame absently. "I didn't recognize whatever god or demon they were courting, but from what I've heard, the rule is that you get out what you put in." She paused. "Think of this building as a shrine or a cathedral."

"A what?" Naoki had never heard that English word before.

"It's a special kind of church," said Aoi. "If you ask a dictionary, it says that a cathedral is a church with a bishop, but most people think of them as fancy stone castles. Anyways," she twirled something in her hands. "The point is that this whole building was built to satisfy a god. The more money spent on the building, the more the residents prosper." She scowled. "And the wealthier the sacrifices, the more generous the god. You can see that it's a fancy apartment in a rough neighborhood? It wasn't just gentrification; they used to abduct residents and blame it on the local thugs."

"And you still live here because you want the residual blessing?" Naoki deduced.

"No, that's been gone for a while," said Aoi. She sighed. "I'm just that cheap, okay?"

Naoki looked at the paintings. The duck holding a bag in the graveyard probably symbolized something, but he mostly liked how it was a cheerful shade of brown against dark and gloomy grays. He was on firmer ground with the one of a nude athlete dropping his laurel crown into a pot of soup; maybe it represented the ephemeral nature of glory and how it can't feed you unless you sell out. "Not that I'm complaining, but wouldn't it be easier to build a real basement and fill it with gold statues and treasure chests?"

Aoi shrugged. "Like I said, the whole building is supposed to be a shrine, and spending money for the greater glory of their god counts as a sacrifice." She stopped to straighten a frame, realized that it was already straight, and put it back. "If you can reel back your money, it's not a sacrifice, is it? Gold, silver, and things made from precious materials can be melted down and sold. Art, land, and the building itself are all illiquid assets, so it's more difficult to steal them from your god."

"Couldn't you just steal a painting and sell it?" said Naoki. "How is that different from selling gold?"

Aoi shrugged. "I don't know. It could be because the time, hard work, and imagination the artist put into their creation is the sacrifice, and the painting itself is just a shell. It could be because you can't put a price on art. Or it could just be because fine art is an illiquid asset, which has something to do with dealers, auctions, and the fact that you're almost guaranteed to lose money if you try to resell. Take your pick."

"So was all this commissioned?" said Naoki.

Aoi paused. "No, and I don't see how you came to that conclusion."

"Wouldn't the 'hard work as sacrifice' thing only apply to artwork they commissioned?" said Naoki. "I mean, yeah, all art is made from work, but does the work transfer when you buy a painting?"

"Why wouldn't the work transfer?" said Aoi. "Does the effort vanish when… no, we can talk about this later. We're getting off track. My point is that an empty Moscow Metro is better than a Washington Metro full of buried treasure."

"I like brutalism," muttered Naoki, shamelessly parroting the author's tastes.

"If you were a god, which would you prefer?" countered Aoi.

"If I were a god of wealth, I'd probably throw my lot into industry, so a brutalist temple would be more symbolic," parried Naoki.

Let's see, it would be shaped like my holy symbol, and several stories high, terraced. We're going for minimalist here, so I only get one decoration, and that's my statue, obviously made of concrete and reinforced with a steel skeleton. Every terrace has a window, and maybe a skylight right above the statue. If my holy symbol is a tessellation, those alcove thingies could be in that shape instead of rounded rectangles. We could plant my sacred plants on the terraces, and maybe a pool if it fits my theme. Canals and moats and bridges are cool, so maybe they can be filled with holy water—

Aoi shrugged. "Horrorshow. But as far as I could tell, this was a god of exchange and sacrifice rather than production. So more of a banker or merchant than an industrialist."

"Then why not go full rococo?" said Naoki. "I can see it now. The chandelier can use synthetic diamonds instead of glass, and if there's some sacred number n, there could be a pillar every n meters—"

"Rococo is tacky," said Aoi flatly. "If you're going to invest into something expensive, try something functional. Rose windows and stained glass, given the one-way mirror treatment. It'll be as good as an opaque wall from the outside, and you can actually see what you're doing inside. Rituals by candlelight may sound romantic, but long robes and poorly mounted candlesticks are an accident waiting to happen."

Naoki whistled. "Never would have figured you for the Gothic type."

Now, Soma is definitely the Gothic type. I can see him lurking in the upper levels of a cathedral, writing poetry or something.

"I would have figured the cult for Gothic as well," said Aoi. "But Gothic is practically synonymous with horror, and I suppose they were aiming for something more…" She paused. "Not avant-garde; that implies taste. Have you ever read a book where the author tries to sound smart by using big words, but they don't know how to use them, so it just sounds like they're hitting you over the head with a thesaurus? Or do you know any new parents who give their children special and unique names without realizing how much of a popinjay they sound?"

"Like naming your child Prince or Princess, or spelling their name in stupid ways?" said Naoki.

(This is not what Naoki literally said, as both are commonly used in Japanese. There are several lovely Japanese names that use Hime, or Princess. And almost every Japanese name can be written with different kanji; according to the internet, the name 'Naoki' can be written with at least 74 different combinations. But pretentious names can be found in every culture.)

"Like that," said Aoi. "Speaking of names…" She coughed. "I think they wanted to name their cult Brotherhood of Evil, except in an exotic language. But since none of them spoke English, they picked synonyms at random, so it came out as…"

"As?"

Aoi coughed again. "…The Fraternity of Naughtiness."

Naoki stared blankly. The only word he understood was of.

"It technically still means 'Brotherhood of Evil', but the connotation in English is something closer to 'The college dorm where young men engage in hijinks and japery, often sexual in nature,'" translated Aoi.

"You got that with just three words?" said Naoki. He whistled. "English is incredible."

At last, they stopped at a small picture of a man kneeling on a cliff, holding up a large red crystal. Next to it was a small hole cut into the wall, from which Aoi withdrew a clear red ring on a chain. She pressed it against the crystal in the picture, and a door behind them vwooshed open.

"It's supposed to only work with those special rings, but any transparent red material works," said Aoi, returning the ring to the hole. She dug into her purse and withdrew a smaller bag. "Take one of these."

Naoki could recognize that sound anywhere. "Dice?"

Aoi handed him a d12. As promised, it was red and clear, with gold lettering. Naoki pocketed it.

"Why the secret passageway?" asked Naoki.

"It's the altar room. People like to worship dark gods in private."

"And why are we going into a room that's obviously cursed?"

"We're training there today."

Naoki froze. "You train in a place where people tried to kill you?"

Aoi sighed. "Naoki, if I refused to enter every room where someone tried to kill me, I'd have to build a new house every two weeks."

Naoki tilted his head. "Really?"

"On average. I did the math. Just another consequence of being a public figure."

I don't think most public figures have to deal with assassinations.

Wait, no, that tracks.

Naoki decided to drop it. "So why the altar room? There's no multipurpose or exercise room in this entire building?"

"Not one that I'd feel comfortable sparring you in," said Aoi. "We train in the multipurpose room most of the time, but it has this huge window that's practically a wall, so we can't use magic in it."

"Have you ever heard of this incredible invention called a 'curtain'?"

"Have you ever heard of the term 'friendly fire'?" Aoi sighed. "The problem isn't that people can see… well, it isn't just that. If I try to strike my opponent with lightning and miss, I hit the wall instead. It's better to dent a stone wall than break a glass window." She paused. "That said, please don't shoot lasers out of your eyes today. I fear for the building's structural integrity."

I've been shooting lasers for ages and haven't broken any buildings.

Yeah, but maybe there's something weird about stuff made in the Vortex World? It's all the Magatsuhi in the world, concentrated in a space the size of Tokyo. Stuff's probably more durable there.

"Agreed."

Aoi cleared her throat. "This is your last chance."

"To back out?"

"No, to ask any questions you don't want to ask in front of my crew."

Naoki looked back at the hallway. "That was a very long hallway," he said.

"It spirals," said Aoi.

Naoki paused. "Just so I don't spill the beans on you by accident, what do they already know? Demons are real? You're from the future?"

"They know everything you know, except for my name," said Aoi. "But that does remind me. How are you going to explain your abilities?"

"Um…"

Aliens?

Vampires?

The truth?

"You don't have to tell them the truth if you don't want to, but don't lie," said Aoi. "We all have secrets. If all you say is that you have superhuman abilities, then they're just going to have to accept it."

"I'll go with that, then."

Aoi nudged past him.

"One last thing," said Aoi as she led him down the spiral staircase. "None of us use our real names. Call me 'Boss' from now on."

"No," said Naoki.

Aoi stopped, the expression on her face unreadable.

"I won't use your real name if you don't want me to, but I'm not calling you Boss," Naoki clarified quickly.

Aoi's face unfroze. "Because Boss implies authority, and you're working with me, not for me?"

Naoki nodded.

"In that case, would 'Madam' be acceptable?" said Aoi.

"Madam is acceptable," said Naoki. "What should I call myself?"

Not Demi-Fiend. That would attract all kinds of the wrong attention.

But wouldn't it draw out some of the scum? Might help if my name is out there.

Any smart criminal who knows who I am would run.

"A good place to start is your own name," said Aoi, noticing Naoki's lapse. "My advice is to take a character or syllable from your own name. That way, even if you're not used to the nickname, you'll still react if someone tries to get your attention."

"Fair enough," said Naoki. He traced his name in the air. "Ka-Shi-Ma-Nao-Ki. Nao would be too obvious, and Ka and Ma makes me sound like someone's mother. That leaves Shi and Ki."

Shi means death, and Ki is another reading for oni. How's that for pretentious symbolism?

"If you want my opinion, you're not intimidating enough to call yourself Death," said Aoi. "While you are certainly strong enough to deserve the nickname, nobody can see it just by looking at you. To them, you're a skinny teenager who thinks he's the bee's knees just because he can push around the other kids in his skolliwoll."

"Ki it is, then," said Naoki.

The staircase emptied into a vast room dimly lit by a hodgepodge of electric lights. Multicolored strings of Christmas lights marked the borders of the room, while their white-gold counterparts snaked around pillars. From these pillars hung lanterns, bare bulbs, and even what looked like a repurposed desk lamp.

"Hi guys," said Aoi, opening her arms as if preparing the hug the air. Twin bolts of lightning shot from her fingertips, and the room brightened.

Naoki gaped.

It should have worked. He should have been impressed. All the components were there: superfluous carved pillars, an elevated mural depicting mighty deeds ringing the circumference of the room, even an ominous altar in the back. Hell, the tiled floor was so dark and shiny that it mirrored the cheerful lighting into a ghostly glow. This should have been an awe-inspiring monument to the might of the Great God [REDACTED].

Naoki looked up at the mural, down at the tiled floor, and pointed at the space between. "Okay, I may not be an expert on home design, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that no self-respecting Satanic temple should have neon green wallpaper with gold polka dots."

"Paint, actually," said one of the gang members. "We would have taken it down already if it were wallpaper."

"And you haven't painted over it because…?"

"No ventilation," said another, pointing up.

Naoki had once stared down a hallway of twisted space. He ran through a real-life Wile E. Coyote cartoon, complete with painted-on doors and impossible dimensions. Hell, he used to go on training excursions in… well, Hell. But this eye-watering shade of leaky highlighter on what should have been a pleasant shine of gold hurt his eyes like nothing he'd ever seen before.

"See what I mean?" said Aoi. She cleared her throat. "This is Ki. He'll be joining us from now on."

There was a chorus of hellos. The gang members introduced themselves one by one, so rapidly that Naoki wasn't sure if he'd remember them all.

"Hi," said Naoki. "Sorry for beating you guys up."

"It's fine," said Lu automatically. Then he paused. "Wait…"

There was an awkward pause as the rest of the gang stared at Naoki more closely. Naoki shrank at their gazes.

"Aaah!" shouted Rei, drawing her sword.

"It's you!" screamed Haya, ducking behind a pillar.

"…Wait, I think that was the week I was sick," said Ta. "Who are you?"

"I'm N—"

"He's Ki," Aoi interrupted loudly.

"Thanks," said Naoki. He turned to Ta. "I, uh… I went looking for a guy I knew who went missing, and I tried… well, I tried getting information out of you guys."

"And he beat us up," said Lu. "Not Madam, though. She kicked his ass."

Aoi shrugged. "We ended up sparring again. He won."

"I… yeah, that happened," said Naoki. He coughed. "So… uh, what do you guys do here?"

Lu shrugged. "Train, mostly," he said. He eyed Naoki carefully. "…Let's be honest, you don't need it."

"Poppycock," said Aoi firmly. "Think of it as practice, not training."

"I guess…," said Lu. "But I'm not sparring you. I'd rather not get punched into a wall today."

Even if it's not a glass one.

"I'll try my best," said Naoki.

Aoi stared at him from head to toe. "Still, Lu's right. I think you should stick to sparring with me for now."

"But Boss—" Rei protested.

Naoki stepped back. "But—your ribs—"

"We spar with buffs. After eight Rakukajas and four Taundas, not even you can do that much damage." [1] Aoi turned towards Rei. "That said, he learned to fight from real battles rather than through formal training. Let him get used to friendly bouts first."

"Oh." Naoki whistled. "You thought of everything."

"Not even going to argue?"

"No, I know what you mean." Naoki shuddered as he remembered all those times buffs saved his life. Then he paused. "Wait, I never told you I'm self-taught."

"You didn't, but I can see it in your footwork," said Aoi. "That's not to say that you're bad; your stance looks… natural. It's what felt right at the time, not something drilled into you, right? I haven't known a single serious martial arts school that didn't teach the students footwork before sparring."

School gym class didn't teach us stances.

Yeah, but she said serious martial arts schools, not a control freak of an English teacher trying to relive her glory days by hitting untrained students.

Naoki let Lu hose him down with a drowsy spray of Tarunda, while Haya cast the same spell on Aoi. Attack debuffs were weird; they didn't make him slower or more tired, and he could still lift just as much with a full debuff on. But whenever he struck his opponent, a layer of magic would cushion the blow. An identical cushion appeared with the Rakukaja defense buff.

"So what's your story?" asked Lu.

"I… um… I don't want to talk about it," said Naoki.

Lu nodded. "I get that."

"Could you at least tell us what you can do?" asked Rei, from her perch atop a pillar.

"But Rei—"

"You know, for safety," said Rei, arms crossed. "I'm all for keeping the past private, but if you have a habit of giving people frostbite when pinned, I'd like to know in advance."

Lu and Rei had a silent staring match. Yup, there was definitely something there.

"I have superhuman strength," interrupted Naoki. "And I'm mostly invulnerable."

"Mostly?" repeated Rei. "Does that mean that if we can kill you if we find your soul in the eye a needle inside of a duck inside of a hare inside of a—"

Naoki shook his head. "As far as I can tell, my soul is still here. What I mean is that anything that can hurt someone hurts me, just less." He held out his arm. "Try freezing me."

Lu flinched, pulling his hand back. "What? No!"

"A—I mean, Madam electrocuted me at least fifty times the other night. I'll be fine."

"I'll take your word for it," said Lu, hands held close to his chest.

"So when do you go out and look for stuff?" asked Naoki.

"Stuff?" said Lu.

"Clues. Investigations. You know."

Rei crossed her arms. "Only when the Boss is around. She grounded us after we attacked the Brotherhood of Beelzebub without her. After we thwarted their plans!"

"After we broke into a building with no recon, plan, or backup," said Lu. "You seriously didn't think Madam wouldn't get upset?"

"You came with me!"

"What was I going to do, let you tackle a cult alone? After you tripped their alarm?"

Naoki coughed. "You still haven't answered my question. When do you investigate?"

"Like Rei said, only when Madam is free," said Lu. "Could mean tomorrow. Could mean next month. She's been busy lately."

"But the killer could be out there, right now!"

X

"Rice pudding is delicious," said the accomplice.

"I know, right?" said the murderer.

X

Lu shook his head. "Trust me, even the most murder-happy maniacs need breaks. Killing people every day just becomes a job, you know?"

"…Do you?"

Lu cast another Tarunda without looking Naoki in the eye. "There. That should do it."

"I'm done," Haya called.

"So am I," said Lu.

Rei hopped down from her perch to apply Rakukajas on Naoki, while Ta did the same for Aoi.

"Do you know any buffs?" asked Rei.

"I know debuffs," said Naoki. "I'm a bit out of practice, though." [2]

"Can you heal?"

"Not well," admitted Naoki. "I don't mind topping you off, but I'm no good during emergencies."

"What kind of combat magic do you know?"

"Mostly—" Naoki cut himself off. "Are you making conversation, or interrogating me?"

Rei shrugged.

"Come on, lay off him," said Lu.

"No, it's fine," said Naoki. "I've never bothered to learn combat magic."

"I have one last question," said Rei. "Does the phrase 'All the mirrors of you are the scales that make me' mean anything to you?"

Naoki blinked. "…No?"

"Good, you're not a Gestalt spy," said Rei.

She was much more cordial to him after that.

After Ta finished applying the Rakukajas, Aoi put on a set of hockey pads, complete with helmet. Something about that bothered him. "Do you need any?" she asked.

Naoki shook his head. "I fight shirtless. I know, it's weird, but I feel more comfortable that way."

Aoi cocked her head. "Better range of motion. I know how that feels. But why?"

"Lost my shirt in the hospital," said Naoki. "Tried looking for clothes, but I couldn't find a gift shop or even any hospital gowns. The only things I could find were off of dead people."

"And you couldn't steal from the dead, even if it meant survival?" asked Ta.

"No, because their ghosts were right there. I felt bad taking the only things they had left."

"Oh," said Ta. He turned to Aoi. "Ghosts are real?"

"Yes."

Then Naoki realized what was bothering him. "Why weren't you wearing armor the other night?"

"What?"

"You knew that I could punch you into a wall. Why weren't you wearing any kind of armor?"

Aoi sighed. "Due to circumstances outside of my control, I no longer have access to good armor. Humans aren't supposed to be tanks, you know."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"That's not important right now," said Aoi. She pounded her chest. "Hit me."

"But you just said—"

"You're afraid of hurting me, and I'm afraid of being hurt," said Aoi, arms crossed. "Neither of us are going to perform well under these conditions." She rubbed her rib. "You already punched me with no armor and no buffs, and I lived. We've seen the worse-case scenario; what's there to be afraid of?"

She's right.

Naoki took in a deep breath. "Ready?"

"Ready."

Naoki struck. Aoi recoiled, but managed to stay standing. "Not bad," she said. "Very relaxed. Didn't pull your punch, but you didn't hit as hard as you could, either."

Naoki nodded. "How do you feel?"

"Like a trained boxer of your height and build hit me as hard as they could," said Aoi, rubbing her solar plexus. She smiled. "I can work with that."

A grin split Naoki's face. Suddenly, for the first time since his return, the world wasn't spun from sugar glass. "Shall we, then?"

Sparring with Aoi was… fun. He'd never had a fight purely for the sake of fighting; every battle in the Vortex World was either for survival or to establish dominance over his demons. Fighting weak demons was no fun because there was no challenge, and the thrill of fighting strong demons was too often tainted with the fear of death.

Every few rounds, Aoi would switch to a different weapon. She'd started with a one-handed sword, then a two-handed one, and then a spear, a hunting knife, two hunting knives at once, then back to the one-handed sword, then the whip, a pair of tonfa, a three-section staff, a regular staff, back to the whip, a halberd, and finally those throwing knives. He wasn't sure why she used those; she wasn't very good and they didn't hit as hard as bullets, but she threw them hard and vaguely in his direction. Her students dashed out the room the minute she reached for them.

It would be an oversimplification to say that Aoi was faster than him. She was, but her weapons slowed her down. Naoki had abandoned the idea of improvised weapons three minutes after being shocked through a metal pipe, forty-one seconds after losing his grip on a folding chair, and two seconds after slicing his hand open on a scalpel. Demons who used weapons usually only had one. In other words, he didn't have enough firsthand experience to see that you couldn't just swing a sword as fast as you could.

Short weapons like non-throwing knives and tonfa were like extensions of Aoi's hands, and they flashed around her arms almost as quick as her lightning. Naoki had a hard time adjusting to the knife fight; at first, he made the mistake of treating the knife fight like a fistfight with a slightly larger range. He hadn't realized that the extra range was longer than just by the knife; her whole body twisted and lunged into stabs and slashes in ways that would rob a punch of its power. Then he started thinking of them as claws, which worked until she demonstrated the reverse grip. In the end, he resorted to his most useful, and yet least favorite technique: letting her stab something nonvital and hitting her before she ducked out of range.

The spear and staff were harder than Naoki had thought. Conventional wisdom was to move in, get close, and rob the blows of their torque, a technique that worked well in the past. Unfortunately, Aoi was just as aware of the conventional wisdom as he was, and worked around this by either moving back or sliding to the side, or dropping her weapon and grappling. Naoki had tried blocking then grabbing her polearm and tossing it away, but that also left him open to counterattacks.

The swords weren't much to speak of. Not because she was bad, but because Naoki had fought a lot of sword experts, and they all kind of blended in his head.

The whip fight was the best of all. Aoi was right when she said that whips were unpredictable. With most weapons, you could watch someone's hands and the weapons would usually follow; not only did Naoki have to watch for motions he didn't have enough experience to decipher, he also had to know where the whip already was.

He did try to disable the whip, once by grabbing and once by intentionally tangling his left arm and pulling, but it turned out that trying to grab a moving chain was a good way to get friction burns, and that Aoi's counter for tangling was to snap a wave down the chain that would have dislocated his arm if he weren't a demon.

"All right, that's enough," said Lu, walking onto the padded mats.

"I can still keep going," said Aoi, sweat pouring down her beaming face.

"So can I," said Naoki.

Lu pointed at a novelty Goodbye Puppy™ laser clock. "You've been sparring for over an hour. At least drink some water."

Aoi rubbed her forehead. "Cal, you're right," she said.

"Was there a point to this, or were you just trying to assure yourself that you could have beaten me?" said Naoki. There was something refreshing about talking to Aoi. He didn't have to hide his strength or keep any peace.

"I'm assuring myself that I might be able to beat you next time," said Aoi. "Don't you look over your homework to see what you've done wrong?"

"I should," admitted Naoki.

"Besides, you can learn a lot about someone by the way they fight," said Aoi. "Do you want to know what I learned about you?"

"What, are you going to psychoanalyze me?" said Naoki. "The way I drop my fist after striking is because of a childhood heartbreak? I'm trying to be more honorable than I really am by not striking vital areas?"

"Are you not interested?"

"…I am." Naoki sat down, bracing himself for a long conversation.

Aoi cocked her head. "Would you consider yourself someone who… not works better, but someone whose skills shine only when placed on a team? Like a medic or a strategist?"

Naoki paused. "I probably can't reach my full potential without buffs and healers, but I think I know what you mean. My style doesn't change much without them. Why do you ask?"

"I've been wrong before about people before, especially if I miss something I don't see during spars," said Aoi. "I am biased towards single combat, so I might miss a skill that only manifests with groups. I knew someone whose strength was commanding and coordinating his teammates, but if you fought in one-on-one, he just looks like a boring but careful fighter."

"Doesn't that show up a lot in books?" said Naoki. "The soldier/warrior split?"

Aoi shrugged. "I'm not sure if we're on the same page, but it seems like we're still in the same chapter. Anyways…" Aoi drew a baton. "The impression I get from you is that you don't recklessly put yourself in harm's way. Rather, you carefully analyze the situation before putting yourself in harm's way."

"How so?"

"Whenever you couldn't get past my defenses, you'd create openings for yourself by allowing me to injure you," she said, pointing to his most injured spots. "You don't do this recklessly; you're right-handed and you always sacrifice your left arm before anything else. You're fully capable of dodging; you just don't. There's the assumption that you'll survive every hit, and someone will always be there to heal you."

She turned to her students. "Don't try this. Ki here is quite probably the most durable being I have ever fought. You're not.

"Your punches are self-taught; I could tell that much by our first meeting," said Aoi. "I had thought that you'd do well to learn how to punch properly, but now, I'm not so sure."

"Why?" said Naoki, pushing down the shame of criticism.

"Your reaction times are incredibly fast," said Aoi. "If you had to relearn how to punch, you'd hesitate, try to remember all the steps. Your flow would be ruined. Either that, or you'd revert to your original technique in the heat of combat, which would make it pointless."

Naoki nodded, but said nothing.

"That said, you should try to use your left hand more. I noticed several points where a left hook would have been more effective than a right, but you still shifted your stance for a right punch anyways." She tilted her head. "Do you know how to kick? Because I think you'd be very good at it."

"The only time I kick is when I shoot lasers out of my feet," said Naoki.

Ta laughed, but stopped when he saw that no one else did.

Aoi nodded sagely. "I will take your word for it, and humbly request that you do not demonstrate."

"Well, I can do this," said Naoki, forming his laser sword. Ta cursed loudly.

"That's… very nice," said Aoi politely. "Please put it away."

Naoki obliged.

"My overall impression of your style is that it's simple, sensible, and completely impractical for anyone but you," said Aoi. She crossed her arms. "That's not a bad thing. You know your strengths and play to them; you know your defenses will hold, so you use them to improve your offense, ending the fight earlier with less damage. It helps that you don't tax your defenses unduly. There's…" Aoi paused. "All my training has told me that yours is a bad style, but that's because it assumes that humans are fragile. It could be better, but it doesn't need to be."

"Thanks, I…guess?" said Naoki.

Aoi sat down. "I'll just watch for the rest of today," she said to the group. "That was… intense." She looked at Naoki and smiled. "I look forward to sparring with you again."

"Ha!" shouted Rei. "Looks like you're already one of us!" Rei gave Naoki a hearty slap on the back…

X

Four minutes later, all six of them were sitting in Doctor Dude's office. Rei was holding a cold pack to her arm while Naoki spewed apologies. Mr. Adams was engrossed in the exciting adventures of Taro and Hanako visiting the zoo, occasionally stuttering over the names of the animals. Lu and Haya were reading an Ayakashi Monthly together, while Ta flipped through a tourism magazine. The fifth and eighth volumes of Choo Choo Chums Centennially were being used to prop up some tables (Aoi wasn't usually one to judge, but that was a stupid business model). Aoi had once asked Mr. Adams why they bought magazines in a language they could barely read, and Mr. Adams had said that the magazines they bought for themselves focused on photography and so did not require literacy. The others were stolen from recycling bins on trash day.

It was too early for the Agency, which was probably good, because the Yakuza was here. A doctor's office like this was neutral territory, but Aoi had been around enough war zones to know that in the books of career fanatics, 'neutral' was about as dirty a word as 'heretic'. Or 'blasphemer'. Or 'feculent'. Unlike the Agents, the Yakuza footsoldiers didn't give out their (code)names, but Aoi had a good memory for faces, and one of them was missing, the tall one who was trying to grow a moustache and hogged the nature photography magazines.

Aoi had just finished texting Sei where they had gone and why (and asked her to walk Lu's dog in his absence), and had moved on to an animal photography magazine.

The beast on the cover was called an axolotl. It was smiling at her. Animals were fascinating creatures; demons had eaten most of them in the future, and so the notion of living beings that weren't plants and didn't eat humans was new to her. Even now, she remembered being confused when Kazuya explained to her what a dog was and why he kept one in his house. At Sei's advice, Aoi kept a fish named Nihilism, and resolved to get more pets once she was used to this one.

Doctor Dude emerged from the operating room, face grim.

"Madam," said Doctor Dude.

"Doctor," said Aoi.

"Could you please translate something for me?" he said. "Tactfully?"

Ah. Aoi already knew where this was going.

Doctor Dude gestured for her and the two Yakuza to follow him, but instead they pushed past in a mad dash for the operating room.

By the time Aoi and Dr. Dude caught up, the floor was wet with tears. The one with the gold earring was on his knees, trembling, while the one who always wore Digimon neckties had draped herself over the man's corpse.

Aoi felt a pang of sympathy, which she felt was way too little for the loss of a human being.

Doctor Dude cleared his throat. "Your friend is dead."

Aoi repeated that in Japanese.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Aoi had to check with Doctor Dude if he meant that he was apologizing because couldn't save him, or if he was merely expressing his sympathy. Doctor Dude said it was both, and Aoi repeated it.

"I understand that he was important to you and that you need to mourn, but organs don't stay fresh for long. Please get off my table."

Well, there was no tactful way of saying that in any language. Aoi translated. That would have gotten Dr. Dude stabbed, if Aoi hadn't tackled and disarmed the one with the Digimon necktie. When you were married to someone who regularly got himself jumped in the middle of conversations, you had to develop certain instincts.

X

(10:56 am)

A café is a wonderful place to talk about murder. Not only are the other customers too absorbed in their own work to pay attention, there's also coffee and snacks.

"I'm not complaining, but why are we here?" said Kazuya. To Mina's complete lack of surprise, Kazuya had a membership card. He ordered a coffee with cream and no sugar, a hot apple cider, a chocolate muffin, and a chicken panini. "Shouldn't we be checking out the crime scene?"

"I find that it helps to have an idea of what we should be looking for first," said Mina. "My anatomy professor always tells us to come up with question before attending dissections, or else we'd be too disgusted to think."

Kazuya nodded. "Programmers do that, too. Minus the dissection."

"It's a required skill for lawyers, too," said Soma.

"I'll start," said Mina, notebook and pen at the ready. She'd disguised the previous pages with notes about the book she wanted to write. "What do we already know, how do we know it, and what questions does this bring up?"

"From the article, we know where the body was dumped and when it was found, but not who it was," said Soma. He took out a printed map of the city, where he marked a big X in the park.

"Do you think they were killed there, or the body was moved?" asked Mina.

Kazuya shrugged. "Decapitation is bloody. We'd know if we saw."

"It was raining pretty hard the day after," said Mina. "The rain would have washed the blood away."

"Then the police or newspapers would know, since they got there before it started raining," said Kazuya.

"Would they report that?" said Mina.

Soma shook his head. "I don't think he was killed on site," said Soma. "The Agency was right there. They should have noticed a struggle."

"Should have doesn't mean that they did," said Kazuya.

"Maybe so, but it makes it less likely," said Soma.

There was a pause.

"I'll put that down as, 'probably not killed on site, but not impossible'," said Mina.

Kazuya sighed. "What I want to know is why the body was dumped in the park, when we're right next to a river."

"Maybe wherever they were murdered would be an even worse place to leave the body, like in the street or in a public building," said Mina.

"But why the park and not the river?" pressed Kazuya.

"Park was closer?" Mina pointed to the map. "Yes, the city is next to a river, but unless you killed someone right next to it, you'd have to carry a full-grown man the whole way without anyone noticing or caring."

"Or they could have a car," said Soma.

Mina nodded. "If they had a car, they'd use the river. They must have died somewhere closer to the park than the river." She drew a line between the park's edge and the riverside. She paused. "Wait, do dead bodies float?"

"After a few days," said Kazuya. "It's not ideal, but it would give the killer time to leave before anyone found out." He shuddered. "Please don't ask me how I know this."

Soma and Mina nodded respectfully.

"Anyways, you make a good point," said Kazuya. "But why a grassy hill and not the woods?"

Soma and Mina stared. "The woods? At night?" said Mina. "Kazuya, I've been climbing the mountains back home at night my whole life, and I still get lost now and then."

"And what were you doing climbing the mountains at night?" asked Kazuya.

"Miko stuff," said Mina.

"Sounds more like a yamabushi thing," said Kazuya.

Mina opened her mouth, and then closed it. "Do you want to hear my shrine's history, rituals, and interpretation of the story of Amaterasu, or do you want to know why it's a bad idea to navigate a forest at night?" she said. She cocked her head. "I'd be surprised if you'd never done it before. Evil rituals in the forest at night sounds like a… a witch thing," she substituted at the last second.

"Nuclear wastelands are not exactly conducive to forest growth," said Kazuya, arms crossed. "I've been through a lot of terrain. Forested mountains are not one of them."

A surge of pride swelled in Mina's heart. He hasn't seen everything. I know something he doesn't.

Am I so petty that this makes me proud?

"Didn't you two get down the mountain just fine?" said Kazuya. He pointed at Soma. "You carried me."

"Magic," said Soma. He tapped his cheekbone. "I used a spell for night vision."

"I was descending a mountain without a dead body, which is different from climbing a mountain with one," said Mina. "I'm also a bit more experienced with night climbing than the average person, went slowly and carefully, and was running on entirely on adrenaline. Take your pick."

"All right, so dumping a body deep in the woods is a bad idea," said Kazuya. "Still doesn't explain why you can't just walk fifteen feet into the brush and drop the body where people passing by can't see."

"…I concede your point," said Mina.

"A desecrated body on display is a statement," said Soma flatly. "A warning, a threat, or even a boast."

"A statement to whom?" asked Mina.

Soma paused. "…Enemies?" he managed awkwardly.

"I'd be lying if I didn't immediately think, 'Yakuza'," said Mina.

"This seems too public for Yakuza," said Soma.

Kazuya snorted. "Really?"

Soma blinked. "…Why are you laughing?"

Kazuya stared back. "Come on, it's not like you've never met a member of the Yakuza."

"…No?" said Mina.

"You have?" said Soma.

Kazuya paused. "Right, I'm from Tokyo," he said.

"No, wait," said Mina, unlocking her phone. "When did the timeline split for you, again?"

"1999."

"Ah. I see," said Mina. "The Yakuza declined since then. They're still there, but not nearly as public."

"Huh," said Kazuya. "Is it still normal for them to have knives?"

"No idea," said Soma.

"Wear suits, but badly?"

"How should I know?" said Mina.

"Cut off pinkies?"

"It's not something I look for," said Soma.

"Have offices in public buildings, such as the Shinjuku Underground Mall?"

"Come on, there's no way—"

"I got into the boss's office once," said Kazuya. "He probably would have cut off my fingers if he weren't busy with the demon invasion."

"…What were you doing in the boss's office?" asked Soma warily.

"I was lost."

"Oh, come on!"

"No, really," said Kazuya. "The mall was a pain to navigate back then. And it's not like they had 'Yakuza Boss' on the door. They were brazen, but they weren't that brazen."

Soma took a sip of his tea. "We're getting off topic," he said. "Do you think it was Yakuza? Do we even have Yakuza here?"

"Who else would publicly display a dead body as a threat?"

"The Phantom Thieves of Hearts did something like that," said Mina. "Didn't they scatter flyers all over… was it Shinjuku?"

"Shibuya," said Kazuya. "I picked one off the street. It's still in my drawer."

"The Phantom Thieves aren't murderers," said Soma, in that rare, quiet voice that suggested that he was about to get violent.

Ah. Right. "I know," said Mina quickly. "It's just an example." She looked at Kazuya and mouthed, 'Drop it.'

Kazuya didn't seem to take the hint. "What makes you so certain?" asked Kazuya.

Soma clutched his tea, as if preparing to throw it in Kazuya's face. "I know that it would be incredibly stupid if this came between us and eroded our trust," Soma said through gritted teeth. "But what's between me and the Phantom Thieves is private. Drop it."

"…I understand," said Kazuya, eyes on Soma's hands.

"Good." Soma released his grip on his tea. "If it helped our investigation, I'd tell you. But it's not relevant. All that matters is that they also publicly sent a message to a single person."

"Hell of a public message," said Kazuya. He sipped his coffee, but this time with his left hand. "Still doesn't explain why a showoff would hide the head. Not even the newspapers knew who he was."

"Maybe the dead man was already missing, and the body just confirms it," said Mina.

"Like in The Godfather?" said Soma. "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes?" When Kazuya stared back at him blankly, he added, "You've never seen The Godfather?"

"I did. In 1997," said Kazuya, arms crossed. "Explain."

"Luca Brasi was a hitman for the Corleone family," said Soma. "He went missing during the mob war with the… Tattaglia family? Doesn't matter; the point is that the Corleones didn't know if he defected or died, until someone sent them a fish wrapped in his bulletproof suit. In mafia language, it meant that he was dead, and that his body was dumped in the river. Hence, Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

Kazuya nodded. "I see what you mean, but that still doesn't answer my question." He stretched. "If it's a message to one specific person, why don't they want the victim identified?"

"So the murderer won't be implicated," said Mina. "I read somewhere that you're more likely to be killed by someone you know. Maybe they were killed by… I don't know, estranged family, coworker who hated them, someone's jealous ex. Someone the police would suspect. I can't think of any other reason why the head would be missing."

"I can think of one," said Soma. "It sounded to me like the body is deliberately being desecrated. I mean, no head, left to rot in the woods? What kind of angry ghost would that make?"

"Like an inugami?" said Mina.

"…I know that means 'dog god,' but I also know that's not what you mean," said Soma.

Kazuya's tea stirrer snapped in his hands. "Inugami are proof that pure evil exists in this world," growled Kazuya. "Sorcerers torture innocent dogs to death, cut off their heads, and desecrate their remains until they become furious ghosts. Then they enshrine them as kami to turn them into familiars." Kazuya's fists were clenched. Mina was now very thankful that she did not have the nerve to attack his hellhound the other day.

"And you think it's possible to do that to a person?" said Soma.

"I don't know, but if there are people willing to do that to a dog, there's someone, somewhere, who would do that to a human."

Soma shuddered.

Mina shook her head. "Humans ghosts are harder to control than dog ghosts," said Mina. "If you tortured a human to death, you can't give them offerings and a shrine and expect them to do your bidding. They'll still remember who you are and what you did. The best you can expect from them is that they'll stop cursing you."

Both Soma and Kazuya stared at her.

"I'm not speaking from experience!" said Mina. "You've heard of Tenjin, right?"

"The scholar god?" said Soma.

Mina traced the kanji 'Sky God' in the air. "He wasn't always the patron deity of students and scholars. The story is that he was a government official who was framed for… something, I can't remember what. It doesn't matter. He was exiled, died in disgrace, the whole package. So his vengeful ghost sent thunderstorms to the Imperial Court. Several nobles died, so the survivors appeased his spirit by posthumously restoring his offices and then enshrining him." [3]

Kazuya nodded. "I remember that. Worship of Tenjin back then was essentially them begging him not to send storms at people."

"…That's a bit crude, but accurate," said Mina. "My point is that it takes a lot to satisfy a human ghost, and even though there's precedent for a vengeful ghost becoming a helpful kami, it took centuries."

"And even then, they can backslide," said Kazuya. He fiddled with his cider. "I suppose it's too easy to forget that even though he's supposed to protect the city, Taira no Masakado can and will absolutely curse Tokyo if his shrine isn't maintained properly." He paused. "I should probably return his stuff one of these days."

"…You do realize that those are national treasures, right?" said Mina.

"He entrusted me with his sword and armor in the defense of Tokyo," said Kazuya, arms crossed. "I did not steal them."

"Unless Tokyo still needs defending, you should return them," said Mina.

"How?" said Kazuya. "It's not like I can go back to the Imperial Palace and say, 'This is the sword of Taira no Masakado; please ignore the bloodstains.'"

"His tomb still accepts offerings," said Mina.

"…Cal, you're right… no, that wouldn't work."

"You think someone else would steal them?" asked Mina.

"No, it's because I'm not from this world, and these aren't the arms of this world's Masakado," said Kazuya.

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it anyways," said Mina doubtfully. "What do you think, Soma?"

Soma blinked. "What?" He dropped his bun. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Still thinking about Tenjin. Enshrinement changed him that much?"

Oh, right. Mina had forgotten about Dracula. "Enshrinement appeased him," said Mina. "The people who believed in him changed him." She sipped her coffee. "You're asking about the Hakuba shrine, right?"

Soma nodded.

"Remember what I said about Amaterasu and eclipses?"

"Yeah, I was wondering about that, too," said Soma. "Especially the part where—"

Kazuya cleared his throat. "I'd like to be part of this conversation, too."

Mina took in a deep breath. "First of all, please don't accuse me of getting the story wrong, because there's no one true version, and this is the one my shrine recorded."

Kazuya nodded. "I've met several demons whose existences contradicted one another. I can accept contradictory accounts."

"Good," said Mina. "You've heard the story of Amaterasu and the cave, haven't you?"

"Of course," said Kazuya.

"Say it for me."

Kazuya cleared his throat and started reciting the Kojiki, word-perfect.

"That's very impressive, but I also want to go to class today," said Mina.

"Amaterasu's brother Susano'o goes on a rampage for reasons that vary from myth to myth; either he's a sore winner or a sore loser," Kazuya began. "He throws a flayed pony into Amaterasu's weaving hall, possibly killing one of her hand maidens, so she goes to sulk in a cave. Since she's the sun, this means that the world goes dark, so the other gods try to get her out. The only one to succeed is Ame-no-Uzume, by simultaneously inventing the sacred dance and the striptease."

Mina nodded. "What happened to Susano'o?"

"He was punished, banished to earth, and—"

"Before that," said Mina. "Why did he stop his rampage?"

"…The story doesn't say, but I'm assuming that he realized how badly he screwed everything up once the sun went out," said Kazuya.

"And the sun going out is a bad thing, right?" said Mina.

"Of course it is!"

"Our shrine sees it differently," said Mina. "To us, what's important is that Susano'o stopped when Amaterasu hid. Susano'o was so powerful, he couldn't be stopped by anyone but himself. By hiding herself away, Amaterasu sealed Susano'o's anger, allowing the gods to subdue and punish him."

"And what about the world being plunged into a never-ending night?" said Kazuya. "Isn't that worse than someone using rice paddies as a toilet?"

"Ritual purity is extremely important to gods," said Mina.

"Yes, but so is having the sun," said Kazuya.

"…All right, so maybe that became a problem, but the point is that Susano'o mellowed out considerably from then on," said Mina.

"He repeatedly tried to kill his son-in-law Okuninushi," said Kazuya.

"But he accepted him in the end!" Mina took in a deep breath. "Let's not argue about this anymore. Like I said, this is the story we passed on."

"Agreed."

"So does the Hakuba shrine, like… enshrine Susano'o?" said Soma.

"Sort of… do you know what a Mitama is?" asked Mina.

"They're the four sub-souls in a soul, right?" said Soma. "Ara Mitama, Nigi Mitama, Saki Mitama, and… Kushi Mitama. They're supposed to be where certain emotions come from."

"Kami have Mitama as well," said Mina. "Some places enshrine a kami's Mitama rather than their… whole selves, for lack of a better word. The Hakuba shrine isn't dedicated to him, but we have a smaller shrine to the Ara Mitama of Susano'o, or his passion and aggression." [4]

Although in our case, it's a seal, too.

X

"Young man, may I offer some advice?"

"Of course."

"Should you ever go to the Hakuba Shrine, do not go near the miniature shrine next to the fountain. That is where our fury is sealed. Should it unite with us, I cannot predict how we will react."

"…That is a very specific piece of advice and I have no idea how it's relevant, but it explains a lot and I have no doubts that it is useful. Thank you."

X

"So enshrinement is a common way to pacify vengeful ghosts, not get them to listen to you," said Soma. "What if the killer skipped the enshrinement and just had the ghost kill indiscriminately?"

"Wouldn't the ghost come after the killer?" said Kazuya.

"Not if they're a good enough exorcist," said Mina. "If they can defend against the ghost for long enough, it'll lose patience and start attacking other… people… oh no." Mina cursed. "If you're right, this could be a disaster."

"A disaster, a catastrophe, or a calamity?" said Soma.

"Soma, not now," said Mina, teeth clenched.

"Then we just need to find the caster, take down their barrier, and let the ghost take their revenge," said Kazuya, arms crossed.

Mina stared. "I… think you're skipping a few steps."

"And I think you're jumping to conclusions too fast," said Kazuya flatly. He raised two fingers. "The body doesn't have a head. It was found on the hillside. That's it. That's all we know. I'm not saying that they're not making an onryo, but that's too much to assume given what we know."

"…You have a point," said Mina carefully. "That won't stop me from worrying."

Kazuya averted his eyes. "…I guess not," said Kazuya.

Soma cleared his throat. "We still think he was killed close to the park, right?"

"That's all we can narrow it down to," said Kazuya.

"Not quite," said Mina, taking a worn brochure out of her purse. "Remember this?"

"Dangers of Haruhata?" Soma read aloud.

"They handed these out during orientation," said Mina.

"I skipped orientation," said Soma.

"So did I," said Kazuya.

Mina unfolded the map. "It ranks the districts by violent crime rate," she said, jealous that they didn't need to know this. "What are the most dangerous places near the park?"

"Here and here," said Soma, marking it on his own map.

"You'd still need to pass through some relatively safe zones to get to the park," said Mina.

"Crime rates are low, but never zero," said Kazuya. "Besides, statistics are misleading. Sometimes the most dangerous places report no crimes because nobody trusts the police." He took a bite out of his panini. "You're also assuming that high violent crime rates means that no one's going to care if they see someone carrying a dead body. The line between mugger and murderer is thicker than you think."

"…I don't know enough about crime to contest that," said Soma. "But we don't have any other leads, so let's go there."

Kazuya shrugged. "Fine." He paused. "Aren't you studying to be a lawyer? Shouldn't you know more about crime than me?"

"None of my courses so far have taught us anything like you just said," said Soma.

"…I don't know enough about prelaw to contest that, either," said Kazuya. He looked back. "Is there anything else?"

"Just out of curiosity, how hard is it to kill someone by decapitating them?" asked Mina.

Soma choked on his drink. "Why are you asking me?!" he said, red in the face.

"It's incredibly difficult but not impossible," said Kazuya at the same time. "If you're asking about decapitation without bolstering the neck with a post or backstop, then yes, you could pull off with a sharp blade, but only if you're fast, skilled, and lucky. I've only ever done it by accident. Of course, you could always cheat by slitting their throat, stabbing them in the brain, or cutting their spinal cord, and then decapitating them postmortem."

Soma and Mina stared.

"You… you cut off someone's head?" said Mina.

"In self-defense," said Kazuya icily.

"I… that's… I mean, I get that, but… don't you have demons to fight for you?" said Mina.

"You didn't think I knew how to fight?" said Kazuya indignantly.

"Well…"

"Demons don't obey if they think you're weaker than them," said Kazuya. "What did you think this was, Pokémon?"

"The last demon summoner I knew didn't seem to know how to fight," said Soma. He paused. "Then again, she didn't seem to need to. She just called up a bunch of demons, stuck them in a castle, and waited for them to attack me."

Kazuya muttered something that sounded like, "Amateur," under his breath. "You said she was killed by something she summoned, right?"

"Yes," said Soma. Mina knew better.

"That's the other reason why," said Kazuya, arms crossed. "You've heard what they say, 'do not call up what you cannot put down?' What kind of an idiot tries to summon a duke of Hell without a backup plan?"

"Celia Fortner, apparently," said Soma, shrugging.

"Hold on, did you say that you're stronger than your demons, or you tricked them into thinking you're stronger?" asked Mina.

Kazuya paused before answering. "I didn't trick them into thinking anything," he said carefully. "If you're asking if I am physically stronger than all of my demons, no. If you are asking if I am capable of defeating them in one-on-one combat… also no." He fiddled with the broken tea stirrer. "There's more than one way to show strength…no. Maybe strength isn't the right word. Respect? Authority? Dominance?"

Soma flinched, but Kazuya didn't seem to notice.

"Respect. That's it," said Kazuya. "It's not that I'm physically stronger than them; it's that under my leadership, I can get them to work together and kill demons that would have squashed them alone. Most of why I can get demons to join me is reputation. My team killed a lot of powerful demons and they know that, so they follow me." He pried open the top of his cider and started eating the whipped cream. "They'll forgive me for not exceeding the limits of the human body. That said, if I don't attack from the front lines with the rest of them, they'll think I'm too cowardly to lead, no matter how sharp my tactics."

Can you teach me how to fight? The words were on Mina's lips, but now seemed like a bad time.

"Any other questions?" she said instead.

"Have you had any strange dreams lately?" asked Kazuya.

Soma and Mina looked at each other. "There was something about the Men in Black replacing trees with secret elevators," said Mina. "And I think my aunt's dog was lying about teakettles sold in convenience stores?"

"I had the turnip dream again," said Soma.

"Anything different?" asked Mina.

"There were dancing fire alarms in the background this time."

"You dream about turnips?" said Kazuya.

Soma nodded. "I have a recurring dream where Death makes me a bowl of roasted turnips, telling me that it's the secret to immortality. Why do you ask?"

"Right before the demons came, I dreamt of people I met during the invasion," said Kazuya. "I even knew their names. All three of us had the same dream."

"Oh," said Soma. "Huh. Prophetic dreams? Never had one."

"If turnips made people immortal, you'd think we'd know by now," said Mina, making a mental note to ask if he was lying later.

"Dream logic is weird," said Kazuya, shrugging.

"If it's a metaphor, what does the turnip symbolize?" said Mina.

"Being a bad substitute for a potato?" suggested Kazuya.

"Turnips are… heart-shaped, right? So maybe love?" said Mina. "Or am I thinking of parsnips? No, radishes."

"Turnips are round, radishes are heart-shaped, and parsnips are like carrots," said Soma.

"I would think that Death would be more important than the turnips," said Kazuya. "Skeleton in a black cloak with a scythe?"

"The vanilla Grim Reaper. Is there more than one?"

"Did he have a horse?"

"Why would he have a horse?"

"Death is supposed to ride on a horse during the Apocalypse," said Mina.

Kazuya nodded. "The Pale Rider. I fought him once." He shuddered. "One more time that I should have."

"I feel that."

The two of them shuddered in unison.

"Mina, have you ever had a prophetic dream?"

"I've had a few, but those were sent by my shrine's kami," said Mina. "I might be a bit far from the shrine. What about you? What did you dream about last night?"

Kazuya opened a small diary, the kind that came with a little lock and key. He picked the lock with a paperclip. "I was in an amusement park that was also a zoo, and for some reason there were slides that went straight into the elephant enclosure. Also, the power lines were way too close to the water slide."

"…Even if that's relevant, I don't see how we can apply that knowledge," said Mina.

"I guess it means we should avoid elephants?" said Soma.

"And waterslides," said Kazuya.

The three of them started at the notebook.

"Well, I think we got a lot done," said Mina.

"But we still need to see what's going on for ourselves," said Kazuya. "I'm free after three. Can you meet tonight?"

"I have a thing due at six, but I should be done then," said Soma.

"Yes, I…" Mina blinked.

They're not leaving me behind.

We're going into danger, and they're not holding me back for my own safety.

"Mina?" said Soma.

Mina coughed. "I'm free after four-thirty," she said quickly.

"So six-thirty sounds good?" said Soma.

There were nods all around.

"We should eat beforehand," said Mina. "That way, we won't have to carry around leftovers."

"Soma, you need to do something about your hair," said Kazuya.

"…I'm going to assume that there's a point to this and you're not telling me to dye it to fit in," said Soma, glaring. Mina knew too well how many teachers had yelled at him for dyeing his hair white, even though it was his natural color.

"If we're going to be hanging around a crime scene, bright white hair is going to stand out," Kazuya continued. "Do you have anything that can cover it, like a hat or a hood?"

"Oh," said Soma, shoulders relaxing. "That I can do."

Kazuya turned to Mina. "Mina, is archery the only martial art you know?"

"Yes," said Mina, unable to keep the defensiveness out of her voice.

"Do you plan on carrying your bow everywhere for your whole life?"

"I don't know, do you carry a sword everywhere?"

Kazuya held up the arm with his portable computer. "The Demon Summoning Program also has a storage function. I have tons of weapons on here. I can help you with that."

"So what, you're going to upload the Demon Summoning Program onto my phone?" said Mina.

"What? No," said Kazuya. "I don't know how modern phone operating systems work." He took out a green circuit about the size of a credit card, encased in a plastic container that made it about as thick as her pinky. "This is a raspberry pie."

Mina stared. "Do I… like… eat it? Is it one of those cakes disguised as other things?"

Kazuya blinked. "Right. This is a Raspberry Pi, spelled like the Greek letter. It's a miniature computer. Just one of these can run the program." He fiddled with one of the switches. "I set this one up as an emergency cache. If you get one, I can add the program. With the summoning code removed, of course; incriminating evidence and all that."

Mina tapped it. "How much can it hold?"

"Enough that you won't need to worry," said Kazuya.

"…Could you be a bit more concrete? I don't want to assume I'll never run out."

Kazuya paused. "When this COMP was built, it used 1 GB of storage," he said. "It could hold the program itself, ten demons, and… it's a bit hard to tell how much stuff I had at once, but I remember arming a small militia."

"So I'll be fine," said Mina.

"You'd better have some spare bows, though," said Kazuya.

"…Do you have any idea how expensive a yumi is?" asked Mina.

"No."

Mina told him.

Kazuya's face betrayed absolutely no hint of emotion as he said, "…Do you want to learn how to swordfight?"

"Please."

"Wait, why are you teaching Mina?" said Soma. "I'm good with weapons."

"Actually…" Mina sighed. "Soma, I know you're strong, but you're six foot six, can jump twice your height, and have all that crazy magic. What works for you won't work for me."

"I guess…" conceded Soma. "But how do you know he'd be any better?"

Kazuya shrugged. "It's not important right now. It'll take a while to get good."

He stood up. "That's everything on my end. Let's meet in the basement at six-thirty."

X

(12:35 pm)

Thanks to the doctor, the tearful goodbye escalated first into an enraged shouting match, a full-on fistfight, and then into threats of being knifed or buckshot (buckshotted?) to death (courtesy of Mr. Adams), until it finally achieved evolutionary stasis in the form of a standoff/hostage situation.

Aoi was firmly removed from the room after they brought in someone else who could speak English, but she could still hear them shouting from the waiting room.

"What are they saying, anyways?" asked Haya.

Aoi cleared her throat. "If you're not happy, you can go to the doctors who don't wait until you're dead to steal your vital organs," she translated in a low voice.

"You stole my appendix!" she said again in a lower voice.

"The appendix is not a vital organ."

"Doesn't removing the appendix for no reason cause problems?" said Ta.

"I guess that explains the fever after he took mine," grumbled Rei. She rubbed the arm Naoki had broken.

Since Doctor Dude would most likely be preoccupied for the rest of the day, Aoi set Rei's broken arm. With the help of Lu's ice magic, some medical texts from Mr. Adams, an X-ray machine quietly wheeled out of the operating room, and careful applications of Dia, she repaired the arm. She'd have to keep an eye on Rei until she was sure the arm healed right; in the meantime, Rei wouldn't be allowed to spar.

Naoki looked at Aoi, and then at the Yakuza arguing in the next room. "I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but… shouldn't you at least be coming up with a plan to get out?"

"This is our plan," said Aoi. "Sit here. Wait."

"You're not even going to try to fight your way out?" said Naoki. "You're strong. You can take them."

Aoi shook her head. "Strong has nothing to do with it. If we can get out of here without making an enemy of an entire criminal organization, that's a win in my book."

"I'm not afraid of them."

"Neither am I. But you saw what happened after the Yakuza with the gold earring grabbed the doctor."

"I see that American medical schools require their doctors to graduate with a mean left hook," said Naoki, gesturing to the unconscious man lying on the ground. Aoi knew from basic first aid to first check for spinal injuries, and prop him on his side if she found none.

"Yes, but my point is that his partner body-slammed him." She leaned in closer. "Yes, I fear their vengeance. But it's not me I'm afraid for. Whether demon or human, pack hunters strike when their prey is alone."

Thor bombed Tokyo after I backed him into a corner. Could Tokyo have been salvaged if only I hadn't provoked him? [5]

Aoi brushed aside the thought. Now was not the time to nurse old regrets. "Look at them. They have no idea what to do with us."

"We're hostages," said Rei flatly.

"Not really," said Lu. "They're just showing off to Doctor Dude. It's like they're saying, 'hey, we have hostages, take us seriously'. They haven't even cut off our ears."

"Is that a thing the Yakuza does?" asked Ta.

"Yes."

"Lu's right," said Aoi. "Well, not about the ears." ("I'm telling you, they do that," Lu protested) "All they've done is lock us in a room with no supervision. Hell, they're not even bothering to keep their voices down." She paused.

"We're all made of meat," Doctor Dude called from the next room over. "The body is but a vessel for the soul. What's the point in keeping the body intact if the soul has moved on to the next stage in the cycle of karma?"

"I see that Doctor Dude is going for the existentialist argument," said Haya after Aoi translated.

"Doesn't seem to have gone over too well," Rei commented over the sound of metal tools being swept to the floor.

Aoi took advantage of the commotion to whisper, "Do not mistake my caution for cowardice. Should they attempt to separate us, I will destroy them."

Naoki accepted this. "So… what now?"

"Take a nap? Read magazines?" suggested Rei.

"Guess I'm not getting any homework done today," moaned Ta.

Lu suddenly cursed. "I left Shiro at home!"

"Don't worry, I asked Sei to take him for a walk," said Aoi.

"He's going to worry about me," fretted Lu.

"His dog is super cute," Rei whispered to Naoki.

"What kind of dog?" Naoki asked.

"Shiba inu."

"Those are cute. Do you have pictures?"

"I don't have a phone," said Lu.

"Really?" said Naoki.

"I do," said Rei, and she showed Naoki the dog. Naoki made appreciative noises.

Mr. Adams poked his head into the waiting room. "You all will… be here… um… Madam, help. You'll be waiting here a long time."

Aoi translated for him.

"You want food? I can buy food. Don't…not be happy about money."

"Don't worry about money?"

Mr. Adams nodded.

"All right, order up."

X

(3:41 pm)

"Well, that was an intense couple of days," said Agent Peryton.

"I know, right?" said Agent Tiger. "I never imagined that anyone could shoot rainbow dragons from their hands."

"Nor could I imagine that the rainbow dragons shot lasers from their eyes," said Agent Seal.

"At least we know that rainbow dragons are vulnerable to icicles," said Yoko, rubbing her wrists. She'd shattered the handcuffs by rapidly heating and cooling the metal; luckily for her, fire she generated herself wouldn't harm her, even if the heat was transferred to a different medium.

"Who would have known that the cat was actually ten mice stacked on top of each other?" said Agent Peony.

"Wearing snowshoes, no less?" said Agent Ninja.

"Attention!" shouted Agent Fireball. The agents turned to look at him, but did not get up. "Since we believe the arsonist will strike again tonight, for tonight's patrol, every squad will have someone who can use an element that can put out fires. Yes, Agent Seal, today's forecast calls for freezing rain, so you should be able to use your powers."

"Why would the arsonist strike during freezing rain?" asked Agent Seal.

"And why do you think the arsonist is going to strike?" asked Agent Peony.

"They're a showoff," Agent Cowboy muttered. "If you cross-reference the arsons and the weather reports, apparently this guy only strikes when it's raining."

"Maybe they're deconstructing the oxygen and hydrogen in the water to create an explosive?" suggested Agent Wolf.

"Perhaps," said Agent Fireball. "I know this means double shifts for those of you with water, ice, or earth powers, so please, try to get some sleep now."

X

(7:01 pm)

What am I doing here?

Mina looked at her two companions. Soma, a magic user who could use more spells than the average wizard learned in a lifetime. Kazuya, a demon summoner, who most people would rather chew off their own arms than fight. Planning was over. What could someone like Mina possibly contribute to this team?

Kazuya had taken the lead. They'd gone as close to the hillside as possible without pushing through the gawkers and police tape, and then he'd walked off in the opposite direction.

He'd have a whole network of people, Mina thought. Spies and informants, maybe some demons to keep an eye out.

At last, they came to a tough-looking man glowering at passerby. He was holding a sheathed knife in one hand and one of those insulated lunch boxes in the other.

Kazuya walked right up to him. "Tell me everything you know about the disappearances."

"Up yours, brat!" said the man, waving the knife in his face.

"I know you know something," continued Kazuya, unimpressed. "Tell me."

The man glared at him. "Even if I did know something, what makes you think I'd tell a snot-nosed brat like you?"

"Then I'll just have to beat it out of you."

Luckily, Soma had excellent reflexes, and tackled Kazuya before he could strike.

X

(7:12 pm)

It took half a dozen more Yakuza showing up to rough up the doctor before they realized that having witnesses might not be the best idea. They kicked out the gang, shoving and shouting obscenities but otherwise not hurting them.

Just to be safe, Aoi walked everyone home. This carried the risk of the Yakuza learning where they lived; if she had been more worried about that, she would have had everyone but her walk home in a big group, and then hung back so she could see who was following them. But this wasn't Tokyo, the gang wasn't the Resistance, and there was no one after them.

By the time she got to her apartment, it was just her, Lu (who lived with her), Rei (who shouldn't stray too far from Aoi until she was certain her arm was fine), and Naoki (who wanted to talk to her about something).

"You can come in if you want," said Aoi, unlocking the door. All the locks in the building were mechanical, so they didn't need to change them after the building lost power. "I—"

A window above them slammed open. "Thank God you're back," called Sei. "Shiro won't let me walk him!"

"Is he with you?" Lu called.

"Yeah, he's—"

"Just throw him down! I'll catch him!"

"What?!"

"Trust me, I know what I'm—"

Alas, Shiro made the decision for them by jumping out the window. He landed right into Lu's arms, nuzzling him affectionately.

"I missed you too, buddy," said Lu, ruffling his fur right back.

The dog yipped. Naoki flinched.

"Fine, I'll take you for a walk," said Lu, scooping up Shiro into his arms.

Sei dropped the leash and harness out the window. The dog squirmed as Lu buckled the harness on. "Come on, you know the rules. They won't let you run around without one."

"Can I come?" asked Rei, looking at Shiro adoringly.

"I can't stop you," said Lu.

"As long as you don't move that arm," said Aoi.

"If you're going out, pick up some sugar on the way back!" Sei called from the window.

"We wouldn't be out of sugar if you didn't use it all on whipped cream!" Lu called back.

"You can't just whip cream without sugar!"

"Cream is sweet enough on its own!"

"Like you didn't enjoy the strawberry roll!"

"While I do agree with Lu, the fact remains that we do not have any more sugar," said Aoi levelly. "I was planning to make muffins later."

"We're also out of flour!" called Sei.

"If you're going, you might as well get more vegetables," said Aoi.

"And meat!"

Lu glanced at Rei's arm before calling to Sei, "If you want groceries, come with us! Help us carry!"

"Fine, I'm coming," said Sei. She disappeared into the building.

"I'll catch up with you later," said Aoi. "Would you like to come, Naoki?"

"I… sure, I guess," said Naoki.

"Great," said Rei. "We could use someone with super strength."

Naoki shook his head. "It doesn't help, really. Bulk is the problem, not weight. And if you try packing everything into one bag, it just tears the bag."

Sei emerged from the building, carrying some tattered reusable shopping bags. "We might as well—who are you?"

"I'm… Ki," said Naoki. "I've been standing right here this whole time."

"Oh, right, our newest recruit," said Sei. "I'm Sei, Madam's first student."

Technically, Sei was only the first student from this world; Aoi had taught many others in her original world.

"It's nice to meet you," said Naoki politely. "So, uh… why didn't I see you earlier?"

Sei scowled, trying to hide a shudder. "I don't go into that… place."

"I can imagine why."

"No, you can't."

"…What?"

"I said—"

Before Aoi could defuse the conversation, Shiro yipped loudly, yanking on his leash.

"Shiro's getting bored," said Lu. "You guys can talk later."

They said their goodbyes, and the three of them left.

"Madam, can we talk inside?" said Naoki once the others were out of earshot.

"Sure," said Aoi, and they entered. The apartment's hallways were quiet as always. "So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Naoki looked her straight in the eye. "Aoi, please go out with me."

Aoi blinked. There was no trace of uncertainty in Naoki's voice. This would be difficult. "Why do you like me?"

"You're the only person in the world I can talk to," said Naoki. He sighed. "Ever since I got back from the Vortex World, I've been afraid. I've been afraid that someone's going to find out about… well, everything. Hell, I've even stopped talking to my—" Naoki cut himself off. "I… with you, you already know that I'm a demon. I'm no longer afraid of the worst. There's no need to hold back."

Aoi's shoulders untensed. "So it's not me you like, it's that you need someone to talk to."

Naoki's face reddened. "When you put it like that…"

"It's fine," said Aoi, raising her hands. "I know how you feel. The world changed for you, but for everyone else, it's always been the same. You lost something in the other world. Your innocence. Your friends. Your faith in humanity. And you can't tell anyone about it, or else they'll think you're insane. So you bottle it all up, pretend that nothing's wrong. But you can't pretend that it never happened."

Aoi was still facing Naoki, but her eyes weren't looking at him.

"You finally find someone you can talk to, someone who knows… and you can't stand to lose them. You don't see the person; you see a reflection of your lost sanity.

"And that's fine. As one survivor to another, I'd be happy to help you. But one-sided support is a poor foundation for a romantic relationship." She tilted her head. "Honestly, it sounds to me that you want a friend, not a girlfriend. Do you really like me, or are you just asking me like this because it's somehow more socially acceptable to ask someone to be your girlfriend than it is to ask to be your friend?"

Naoki paused. "…Do… do you always do this?"

"Do what?"

"Overexplain out loud."

"Am I wrong?"

"…No, you're right," said Naoki. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for," said Aoi.

Naoki tilted his head. "Now that you say that out loud, one-sided support doesn't sound like much of a foundation for a friendship, either. Are you really looking out for me, or are you just making an excuse not to go out with me?"

Damn.

"…Fine," said Aoi. "It's because I'm married."

"…I forgot about that," said Naoki. "You could have started with that."

Aoi shrugged. "My husband is… not dead, but he might as well be. The last time I saw him was in my own timeline, before I died."

"I'm sorry," said Naoki.

"It's fine," said Aoi. "Some might consider me a widow, and therefore single, so I try to dissuade them first." She stretched. "That's not to say that I don't want to be your friend."

"That's more than I could expect," said Naoki.

Aoi allowed herself to relax. "In that case, let's go grocery shopping."

X

(7:41 pm)

"Really?" said Soma, once they were at a safe distance. "That was your plan?"

"You seriously thought you could just walk up to someone and demand information?" said Mina, leaning on the alley wall and breathing hard.

"It works," said Kazuya.

"No, it didn't!" said Mina.

"In general, it does."

Mina blinked. "You… you don't know what you're doing, do you?"

"No."

Mina expected at least some bluster.

"Talking to demons is my specialty," Kazuya continued. "And I'm not afraid to go up to people and ask them for things. That doesn't mean I'm good at it."

"Then—

"Someone had to do it," said Kazuya, arms folded.

"How about we do the talking from now on?" said Soma.

"Then what good am I?" said Kazuya.

"Another head," said Mina.

"You have enough nerve to just go out and talk to people," said Soma.

"That too," said Mina. She looked up. "There's got to be someone else who's willing to talk. I mean, it's not like—"

The alley mouth was closed off by a group of men holding knives. All five of them wore their suits poorly.

"The boss don't look too kindly on people who ask too many questions on his turf."

They all looked at each other.

"Run?"

"Run."

X

(7:56 pm)

Naoki and Aoi reached the grocery store before Lu, Rei, and Sei; they'd tried going to the park next to the mountains, but it was still closed, so they'd let Shiro romp around in a smaller park farther away. Naoki had eaten a lot of food on Mr. Adam's dime, but he still craved his daily sandwich, so he bought more bread and cold cuts. Learning his lesson, he decided to buy a cheap bread knife, but Aoi had offered to 'sell' (read: gift, but exchange a coin to avoid the superstition around knife gifts) him a better knife the next time they met.

He made good on his promise to carry groceries back to Aoi's apartment; since he was strongest, he hefted the sacks of rice and flour over his shoulder. It had started to rain along the way; Lu had looked distressed at the prospect of getting wet, so Naoki lent him his hoodie despite his insistence that he wasn't cold.

Nobody was home when he got back to his dorm, which suited him just fine. He sat at his desk, turned on music, and made himself some sandwiches.

"Does that kid know that his dog is a demon?" he said to himself.

X

(8:04 pm)

"Guys, stop!"

Soma stopped immediately, but Kazuya kept running.

"Did you notice something?" asked Soma.

"Are you tired?" said Kazuya, opening up his COMP. "Because I—"

"No, it's not that," said Mina. She looked around. "No one else is running."

"That guy is," said Soma.

"I think he's a jogger," said Mina. "My point is that they can pick us out of a crowd because we're a group of three people running together."

"So what, are you saying that we should split up?" said Soma.

"No, that would make it easier for them to pick us off," said Mina. "What we need to do is walk. Lose them in a crowded place. Change our clothes." Mina looked at Soma and Kazuya. "Maybe we can swap. Does that sound like a plan?"

"I've got you covered," said Kazuya, typing something into his arm keyboard. "Let's change over there," he said, jerking his head towards a convenient alley.

They ducked into the alleyway, walking as they spoke.

Kazuya fiddled with his arm computer and produced a neon-striped jacket. "Huh. This was Mikoto's." He handed it to Mina. "It should fit you, Mi—"

"Who's there?!"

Click.

A bright, warm light filled the alleyway. Mina blinked and let her eyes adjust.

The light was from an emergency candle, the click from a cigarette lighter. A girl peeked out of a crude lean-to, wrapped in a threadbare blanket.

"Oh, it's you," said the girl, getting to her feet. "I see you got home all right."

Mina relaxed. "Guys, this is the girl who helped me the other night," she said. She stepped forward. "I know it's a lot to ask, but is it okay if—"

Kazuya pulled her back. "Why—"

"Stay back," growled Kazuya, his eyes not leaving the girl. "Why would anyone, let alone a little girl, willingly reveal themselves to a group of strangers in the middle of the night, when everyone knows that there's a killer on the loose?"

"You wouldn't happen to have any money, would you?" the girl asked hopefully.

Mina opened her purse, but Kazuya blocked her. "Say that again."

"Why should I?" said the girl testily.

Kazuya tapped the ground. "Your breath doesn't fog when you talk."

The girl cursed. Then she laughed. It was a low, wild laugh; she didn't even pause to inhale, instead gasping like the snort of a feral hog. "Two weeks," she said at last, a grin splitting her face. True to Kazuya's word, her breath did not fog. "Two weeks, five days, and eight hours I've been sitting in this dump. You're the first person to even question why I'm here."

Soma stepped back. "And why is that?" he said with forced calm, pulling his hand to the inside of his jacket.

"Isn't it obvious?" she said, still smiling. "I'm the murderer."

TO BE CONTINUED!

I had way too much fun coming up with stuff for the cult.

For what it's worth from a writer as slow as myself, the next three chapters will probably take a while. Those chapters will cover the events of the next few hours, each from the perspective of a different set of characters. Since the last chapter I plan to release will be the one that initiates the plot, it'll have to be written first, so there's going to be an extra long wait. But once I finish all three, they'll be released close to the same time.

[1] Buff stacking: In SMT1, buffs stack eight times and debuffs stack four times.

[2] Naoki knows buffs and healing: I'm going to sort of remove skill slot limits for this story, partially because it's just another thing to keep track of, and partially because unique skills are cool. They're not going to know every skill in the game, just the ones that I think fit, so I'm not going to just whip out 'oh, they knew Death's Door all along' to instakill someone. Here are my general guidelines.

If it's in the endgame build, they have it.

If it's not in the endgame build, but saw a lot of use throughout the game, they have it. Even though he's not a support fighter, Naoki knows Fog Breath and War Cry because demon skill inheritance in Nocturne before the remake was unreliable. Nanashi and Flynn know Bind Voice because it's a reliable source of money.

If it's a reasonable step to an endgame build, they have it. For example, if someone knows Trisagon, they learned every previous fire spell (like Agi and Maragion, not Fire Breath or Fire Dracostrike). Since there are a ton of variants on every level of physical skill (high crit rate, inflicts status effect, lowers a stat, etc.), I'll go with what I think I went with.

Everyone keeps their unique skills because I think they're cool, even if they don't fit the build.

Everyone who can learn Dia knows Dia.

I'm a bit stricter on passives, since elemental resistances make Magatama switching obsolete; Naoki has Jive Talk, Avenge, and maybe Charisma. He doesn't have Pierce because he went for Freedom. It's not an issue for Flynn or Nanashi, since Flynn can't inherit passives and Nanashi only gets Awakened Power, but I'll burn the Nahobino's bridge when he crosses it.

[3] Tenjin: This is generally the story of Tenjin, but Mina is wrong about him bring framed. Michizane (as he was called back then) was demoted and exiled due to ploys from a rival, but he wasn't framed. I wanted Mina to know what I knew off the top of my head; similarly, Luca Brasi's death wasn't just a conflict with the Tattaglia family.

[4] Shinto: I am not an expert on this, and this is stuff I researched on the internet. But yes, there is precedent for enshrining the Mitama of a kami; if you look at the Wikipedia entry for Mitama, it names a few shrines like those. Shrines can also be dedicated to multiple kami.

[5] Thor nuking Tokyo: Thor will nuke Tokyo even if you side with him, but Aoi doesn't know that. I like having the protagonists speculate on what could have been, especially since the audience knows.

I used to have a betta fish called Nihilism, but he died. He was a big boy. I think that A Fish Called Nihilism sounds like a wannabe quirky teen movie about a whiny sad girl.

OMAKE #1: Hidden in plain sight

(This is canon, but I hadn't found a good place to put it).

"How do you guys hide your weapons?" asked Naoki

"Come on, boss, show him your purse," said Rei.

"All right, then," said Aoi. She held her purse out at arm's length. "Notice anything?"

The bag itself was sewn from undyed brown cloth, dangling from two long chains and closed with what appeared to be a weak magnet rather than a zipper or clasp.

"It's, um… very nice," said Naoki, who did not have much experience in this field. "Very big. And I guess since the straps are metal chains, robbers can't cut them?"

"Close," said Aoi, slinging it back onto her right shoulder, letting it hang straight. "They're rather thick chains, wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah," said Naoki. "Don't they dig into your shoulder?"

Aoi tapped her shoulder. "Not if you wear the right padding. Anyways, watch this!" Aoi slipped her hand into the main pocket, and something clicked. The body of the purse swung forwards, and her arm flew backwards, a stream of silver following her hand. Her empty bag plopped to the ground, leaving Aoi holding a long chain whip.

"Huh," said Naoki. "Where did the handle come from?"

Aoi flicked it. "The handle is hidden on the inside, along with most of the chain," she said. "Good for walking around places where I can't be visibly armed, bad for actual security checkpoints."

"Then why did you use a jump rope on me?"

"Speed, surprise, and I don't take this purse everywhere," said Aoi. She rubbed her shoulder. "The pads wear down, and since most of the space in the bag is taken up by chains, it's not very good as a real purse."

OMAKE #2: Kuzuno-who?

(I remembered too late that the Kuzunoha clan have been summoning demons and working closely with the government for centuries.)

"Oh yeah, Tamaki, one more thing," said Kyouji Kuzunoha to his apprentice. "Demon summoning's illegal, so don't go around showing it off where people can see. Especially foreigners."

"Why?" asked Tamaki Uchida.

Kyouji shrugged. "International treaty. Long story short, the UN is convinced that you need human sacrifices to summon demons."

"Can't we prove that we don't?" said Tamaki. She focused her Magnetite into the palm of her hand, just as he taught her. "Look, I'm doing it right here."

Kyouji sighed. "See, that's the thing. We wanted to convince the West all the way back in the Meiji era, when Japan was westernizing, but we had to wait in the shadows until Japan had enough clout on the world stage. Otherwise, they'd call it the 'barbaric custom of backwater savages.'" He scowled. "Then World War Two happened. We got called to fight. A single summoner couldn't supply Magnetite for more than one or two demons at a time, commanders asked us for more, so we…" He stared at the floor. "We fed enemy soldiers to our demons. Sometimes alive."

Tamaki nodded silently. She'd been forced to make that same choice before.

"By the time the war ended, everyone knew," Kyouji continued. "The government couldn't support the Kuzunoha clan, not even unofficially, so we went underground." He sighed. "That said, there aren't any reliable records about the war. I don't know for sure if this was our predecessors' only crime or the only one they would admit to, and none of the elders will tell me. I do know that we got scapegoated for what other supernatural clans did, but I don't know which clans or which crimes." He scratched his head. "I guess they thought summoners were doomed anyways…"

"Boss?"

"Oh, right. We have a list of shrines and temples that we know will support summoners, but you should avoid ones that aren't on our list just in case."

(So now if demon summoning is illegal by international treaty, that brings up the question of why Bethel has summoners on their payroll. My handwave is that since Bethel is led by gods and angels, they don't think the laws of man apply to them. They also know that you don't need to kill people to summon, so the human members wouldn't have any moral objections. Of course, they're still aware of the law; they're not stupid enough to summon where people can see.

Would Bethel have enough pull with world governments to make summoning legal again? Maybe, but only if they all wanted it and worked together, which they don't. The impression I get is:

Abdiel couldn't get the Abrahamic religions to accept summoning even if she wanted them to, since making pacts with demons is almost universally agreed to be heresy and not even an angel can overturn that ruling. She allows the other members to summon because they need power and she needs the alliance, but she personally disdains summoning and considers it too dangerous to leave Bethel hands.

Koshimizu wants to make summoning legal, but his position is too precarious to try. For the reasons Kyouji gave above, Japan shouldn't initiate the legislation to make summoning legal again; heck, Mina shows that not even other Japanese supernatural clans like summoners. Public opinion aside, while being the Japanese PM gives him a better position, it also makes him more vulnerable. The other leaders have to influence government leaders while Koshimizu can just sign things directly, but he has to keep his hands clean or else he'll get scandaled out of office. It wouldn't be hard to find dirt, given that he leads a cult of illegal summoners.

Odin wants to keep his monopoly on summoners.

Shiva doesn't care either way.

Zeus thinks it would be great to have more summoners, but not if he's going to be the only one working for it.

Khonsu doesn't want just anyone to be able to summon his followers.

And all this aside, the angels don't want the gods to interfere too much with the lives of humans; overturning international law on their behalf is too much. Koshimizu's a borderline case since he's not using actual divine intervention, but he's on thin ice.)

OMAKE #3: Cowboy

(And now, for the characters you barely remember and don't care about… let's give it up for the Agents! Again, it's fine if you can't tell the apart; it's just a fun extra).

"You ever wonder what you'd be doing if the Agency hadn't picked you up?" said Agent Ninja.

"College, probably," said Agent Lily.

"I wonder what Haruhata University is like?" said Agent Peony.

"We might have to go there undercover," said Agent Seal. "Maybe we can slip into a lecture or two?"

"Won't they notice?"

"I went to college as part of my training in the Japanese equivalent of the Navy SEALS," said Agent Seal. "Most classes don't take attendance, especially the biggest ones. Sometimes you get people who only show up on exam days and the like; if nobody recognizes you, they're more likely to assume you're one of them."

"I'd be taking over the family business," said Agent Tiger. "We make sake."

"Mine is the manufacture of Archeo-Artifical-Magitekial—" Agent Wolf paused. "I mean, we have a farm."

"My family's been in the textile business since the Edo period," said Agent Peony.

The others piped up about school, jobs, road trips, and homelessness, until Agent Peony asked, "What about you, Cowboy?"

"It's not worth mentioning," said Cowboy.

"Come on," said Agent Seal encouragingly. "You did get—"

"Shut it, Seal."

"But Cowboy—"

Agent Cowboy took a sip of his tea. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to Hogwarts?"

"And what does that have to do with anything?" said Agent Tiger.

"Bear with me," said Agent Cowboy. "Let's say that you could go, right now. Go back to being eleven. No more adult responsibilities. Be a wizard, learn magic, fly on a broomstick, make friends with every canon character you ever liked."

"And of course, there's a catch," asked Agent Lily.

"You're eleven years old again," said Agent Cowboy. He sighed. "I know, this might sound like a dream to some of you. But if you think about it, there's two ways this can go.

"One, you lose your memories. You're a child on the inside and outside. Everything you've ever done, everything you ever learned, everything you've ever worked for, that's gone. Are you going to be you anymore?"

Agent Lily shuddered.

"Two, you're still however old you are on the inside. You keep your memories, your experiences, your emotional maturity. But what's the point? How's your shiny high school education going to help you learn magic? You'd get a head start on Arithmacy at best. And don't get me started on how 'practical application of physics and chemistry' will make you so much smarter than everyone else, because we don't know how magic works in that universe.

"Besides, we're not children anymore. How do you think you're going to handle being treated like a child again? Not allowed to go out at night, or even leave the castle grounds except for a few weekends out of the year. Being talked down to all the time because adults are always right. Hell, your only friends are going to be little kids. You're not their friend, you're their babysitter."

At this point, everyone was staring at Agent Cowboy. He sighed. "That's not to say that it'll all be terrible. You're learning magic, for God's sake. Isn't that what we've wanted since we were kids?"

"…You didn't answer my question. What would you be doing if you didn't join the Agency?" said Agent Tiger.

"College."

"Really?"

That note of incredulity was the last straw. Agent Cowboy stormed out of the room.

He wasn't sure where he was going, but the park seemed as good a place as any to stew.

Agent Cowboy opened his phone, and turned to the first picture in his gallery. He'd taken the picture with his previous phone, an expensive but fragile piece of work that had to be replaced with a more durable model for his new job. Nobody but him had ever seen this picture; Cowboy knew that they'd pity him, or worse, think that he was pitying himself. No, he kept this picture as a reminder of why he became an Agent.

It was his acceptance letter to Tokyo University.

X

The boy who would become Agent Cowboy was a genius, and he worked damn hard for it. Other students slackened their pace when they got into a good high school; the boy hit the ground running and never stopped. He wasn't like them. He didn't go out drinking or clubbing. He didn't waste time flirting with vapid girls. He didn't watch mind-numbing TV or boring sports games. He didn't care about idols or celebrities. He didn't need friends.

He'd tackled college entrance exams at full speed, and came out swinging. He knew he'd done well; he looked back on his answers and knew he got a perfect score on the math section. He'd celebrated with cake from an expensive bakery, then he… he…

What now?

He should have been happy. There was no need to study anymore. He should have binged on video games, on manga, something he liked. He should have explored the city he'd never had the time to see. Instead, he sat in his room, slept until well after noon, read sordid posts about people on the internet, and mindlessly accumulated daily gems on mobile games.

The boy took to aimless wandering, anything to wake out of his stupor.

One unseasonably warm February evening, the boy happened to walk past a construction site, whereupon Agent Seal crash-landed into him.

Agent Seal had just recovered a powerful artifact known as the Heart of Fire from the Black Diamond Conspiracy. He was rushing to the extraction point when a troll ambushed him. His ice powers were useless against it, and in his haste to flee, did not notice the boy. He fell, tripped, and dropped the Heart of Fire.

The boy, being a good citizen, tried to put the shiny red gemstone back into its container, not noticing that Seal was wearing gloves on an otherwise warm night. The Heart fused with his left hand, granting him immense magical power and allowing him to defeat the troll.

Not knowing what else to do, Agent Seal brought him to the extraction point. His superiors understood that it was an accident and that no one was at fault. It would have been a simple matter to remove the Heart of Fire from the boy's hand, but Agent Fireball stopped them.

This boy had demonstrated great talent in handling the Heart's power. Recruitment into a secret organization was stagnant; everyone was required to have prior knowledge of the supernatural, which ruled out many otherwise competent candidates. It would be a waste to let him go.

Agent Fireball asked the boy if he wanted to join them in their fight to keep the world safe; if he refused, they would erase his memory of the event, and he could go back to his normal life. Fireball gave him one week to give his answer.

At that moment, everything the boy had ever worked for was pointless. The endless parade of normal school, cram school, and summer school. The long nights studying in his room. The tea ceremony club presidency that had looked so good on his resume. None of that would matter when fighting monsters or saving the world. He could have just slacked off and partied every night, and he still would have been offered this job.

The boy tarried, asking to know the results of his exams before making a final decision. Fireball granted him an extension.

His acceptance letter arrived the next day. Tokyo University, the most prestigious university in Japan. The dream of every overachieving high school student (and their parents). A promise of a good life.

The boy laid his letter on the table and took a picture. Right before he sent it to his family, he stopped.

He looked at the gemstone embedded in his left hand. Everything he'd ever dreamed of since he was a kid. Fight evil, do magic, meet interesting people.

He looked at the letter on his right. Good, stable future. College, job, marriage, retirement.

The life he always worked for versus the life he always dreamed of.

But what was it all for? What did he want to do with his life? Was this what he wanted or what was expected of him? Did he really want to be a doctor, or did he just not want to endure the shame of not going to college? Did anything really interest him? Did he have any ambitions beyond 'have job, don't starve'?

The boy spent all night wondering what to tell his family.

The next morning, he returned to the Agency safehouse. Nobody had expected him to return that early, but they swore him in, gave him a uniform, and embraced their newest member.

"Welcome to the Agency, Ryota Kisaragi."

(I'm going to do one of these for every chapter from now on, either for the Agents or Aoi's gang. Again, you don't need to remember any of the OCs; it's just a fun extra. I gave them personalities and backstories after I realized how hard it was to keep a recurring cast of bland extras.

Every OC Agent is based on a stock character, but with a twist somewhere. Agent Cowboy was conceived as the shonen hero who's kind of a jerk but has a good heart deep down.

With Cowboy's backstory, I wanted to deconstruct the wish fulfillment aspects of shonen and other children's/young adult fiction without insulting the genre. Too many writers conflate 'realistic' and 'full of sex, gore, and pessimism', with an undercurrent of 'anyone who likes children's media is childish and needs to grow up'. The shonen/Hogwarts fantasy isn't going to be perfect, but it's not a soul-crushing nightmare to which mundane reality is preferable. Agent Cowboy loves his job; it's going to be painful and boring at times, but that's just life. The real cost is what you give up.

The inspiration was the same thing Agent Cowboy asked his teammates: would you give up everything you built after the age of eleven, just for magic? I asked myself that question soon after entering college, long before Harry Potter's name was dragged through the mud.

Spider Man Homecoming is my favorite Marvel movie because it shows the costs and strain of being a high school superhero. Peter had to quit marching band because he didn't have time to do that and be a superhero, and the scene where he gives up playing in the pool with his teammates is more heartbreaking than leaving the girl he likes.)