"You don't look so well." Itachi commented.
"That's because I'm not." Kokoa replied. He turned more towards her, their feet dangling in the water.
"What's wrong?"
"Itachi…" She sighed, shaking her head. "This isn't going to work. This. Us. It's too much to handle. At first I thought I could handle it, but that isn't the case anymore. We need to…"
"A-are you saying…you wish –"
"That you could see the look on your face? Oh yeah." She bent over laughing. He sat there wide eyed, stunned.
"You…"
"I'm sorry Itachi-san, I couldn't resist. I figure this was revenge for worrying me so much when you showed up at my house covered in blood not too long ago." She crossed her arms.
"I didn't threaten to end this relationship. You managed to do what even enemy ninja can't."
"And what's that? Make you pee yourself?" She grinned.
"Basically, however, your actions won't go unpunished."
"Hu – " With one swift movement, he launched her into the lake. She surfaced, arms flailing, gasping.
"Itachi!"
"Yes?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I am going to murder you."
"That sounds like fun, but not today Kokoa."
"Smartass…" She climbed out. Hovering over him, she shook all the water like a dog would.
"Heeeeeyyy." He whined. "I'm all wet now."
"You deserve it." She chuckled. He sighed, shaking his head with an amused look on his face.
"Look at you training so hard. You look like Hokage material to me."
"Shisui?" Kokoa gasped, turning to see him. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she walked over.
"How are you Kokoa?"
"Fine. Training. I need to get back in shape. After my injury, I kind of let myself go." She blushed.
"It's understandable though. I'm sure you'll be fine. Any assignments yet?"
"As of now, no, but I'm sure in the next week or so I can resume duty. They'll most likely be simple things, but I was in the hospital. I can't jump into things."
"Very true. I like your determination." He grinned.
"Did you need something, or were you just passing by?"
"Itachi sent me."
"Is he alright?"
"As fine as he can be. He's swamped in work, and his father is watching him like a hawk. He wanted to apologize for not being able to see you these few days. He said once he gets the chance he'll –"
"It's fine. It's fine. I understand." She smiled slightly, holding up a hand to stop him.
"You're ok?"
"I mean this has happened before. I just have to wait a little to see him. No big deal." She shrugged.
"This must be why he's so crazy about you. Any other girl would be sobbing and complaining without even trying to understand his situation. You're a special girl Kokoa. I know it's probably frustrating. Heck, even being his friend is hard sometimes. Just promise you won't lose it and blame or hate him. He really tries to be there."
"I could never hate Itachi. No matter what he did, I could never hate him."
"Good. He's an honorable man, and he's strong, but even the strongest people need someone to lean on. You're his someone. Don't let him down."
"I won't. Ever."
"Itachi? I wasn't expecting you, but good thing you came!" Kokoa exclaimed upon opening the door, a cup of fresh tea in one hand.
"I just finished making some –"
"I cannot stay, Kokoa." He interrupted her.
"Hu?"
"I know we haven't seen each other in days, and I swear I tried to make time, to find a way, but it was impossible. I've been assigned another mission. My father had to pull some strings to get me on the team, and if I don't go, he'll kill me. I came to say goodbye. We're leaving in minutes." He explained. Her smile faded.
"O – oh…" Her gaze fell to the floor. "I see. Well…do your best Itachi. Don't get hurt."
"I'll come see you first thing, as soon as I set foot in the village."
"I'll be waiting." She managed a smile.
"Sayonara, Kokoa." He kissed her forehead before leaving, shutting the door behind him. She stood in place, eyes glued to the door, vision fuzzy, lips parted. With a loud, painful cry, she launched the cup, smashing it against the door, pieces flying everywhere. Dropping to her knees, she held her face and sobbed.
Itachi had not left. He stood outside, his back to the door, head down. Slowly closing his eyes, he started off. A rush of unbearable guilt devoured him.
"I thought I might find you here."
"What do you want, Shisui?" Kokoa sighed, making little waves in the lake with her feet. He walked over, hovering over her.
"I have something to tell you."
"Are you his messenger now?" She looked up.
"No, just his best friend. Besides, I came here on my own." He grinned. She looked away, fingering the Uchiha pendant around her neck.
"He didn't come see me after his mission."
"Itachi is a very powerful and skilled shinobi who rarely shows fear when facing enemies, however, when it comes to those he loves…he can't stand to be the one causing them pain. I don't want to say he's afraid to face you. It's more along the lines of, he feels too guilty after hearing you break down."
"Hu? Break down? He heard me?" She gasped. He nodded, taking a seat beside her.
"Just before he left, he heard something shatter against the door, followed by your crying. You don't have to keep pretending, Kokoa."
"Pretending? What do you mean?"
"You're always so optimistic, smiling, understanding. Most people think you're that way naturally, but Itachi can read you like a book. He knows the darkness, the sadness in your heart. He knows you force yourself to smile in his presence out of fear of him getting angry with you. He knows that although you always say it's alright or that you understand, that it's not. That you're angry, and upset, and frustrated."
"I…"
"He wants you to be honest with him. No more fake smiles. No more going along with whatever he says he must do. You have to tell him –"
"Tell him what? That I'm lonely when he's gone because he's the only person who cares enough? That I'm angry we can't visit each other's homes without his father suspecting something? That I'm frustrated when he gets assigned mission after mission after mission with no time to even say goodbye in between? Why would I tell him? So he can feel even guiltier? So he can risk everything just to see me for an hour? So he thinks I'm some pathetic girl with nothing better to do than cry and chase after a man who has more important things to worry about? You want me to be one of those shallow women who expects him to drop everything and focus on me? I can't tell him how I feel because it isn't fair to him. I don't want him to hurt anymore than he already does. I don't want him getting in trouble, and I don't want to seem selfish, even though I am at times."
He stared at her, speechless.
"Kokoa…"
"This relationship is hard, and there are times when I break down completely, but I break down only because I care so much about him. I wish we could be a normal couple. No hiding, no excuses, no going days without seeing each other. But that isn't the case. I knew what I was getting into. That's why I don't complain. That's why I don't cry to him. I know he wants to see me, and he tries, he really tries, so I tell myself it's the thought that matters. Still…I feel so good with him, and yet…I feel empty as well. When the pain and fear become unbearable, I stop and think of what he must be feeling…eyes always on him, expectations, responsibilities…I'm probably not making any sense to you right now." She chuckled.
"I see what you're getting at."
"I could walk away, but…I love him too much, and I know it'll get better in the future. He said it would, and I – I believe him." She smiled softly. Shisui stared off at the water.
'Love? She loves him…'
"Tell me, why is Uchiha Shisui listening to a silly girl ramble on about some boy?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not too sure." He rubbed his chin. "Perhaps it's because you mean a lot to Itachi, and seeing you both so upset really bothers me."
"Well thank you for listening. I got that off my chest."
"Anytime. I should head off though, before it gets dark out."
"Goodbye Shisui."
"Sayonara." He waved and left. Pulling her feet out of the water, Kokoa brought her knees to her chest. She watched the sun set, longing for Itachi to be by her side.
"You should really show me some new jutsu." Sasuke pouted.
"Why me?" Kokoa inquired, shuffling through some papers.
"Because Ni-san is busy."
"And I'm not?" She turned to him.
"You're only reading." He grinned.
"I have to do this tedious paper work for the Hokage. It's not for fun." She sighed.
"If you really wanted to get it done, you would have stayed home instead of sitting outside." He commented.
"You have a point, but still…no jutsu right now."
"I thought you were the cool one. Maybe I was wrong."
"I guess so."
"Ko – ko – a…" He whined.
"Listen Sasuke, I have to finish this, but if I have nothing else to do afterwards, I promise to show you something so cool, it'll blow the socks off all your classmates. Deal?" She kissed his forehead. He blinked, surprised.
"Hai, hai…" He mumbled, turning away with a blush. She smirked to herself.
"Hey, don't laugh at me Kokoa."
"I – I'm not laughing." She nearly choked, using everything in her to keep from falling off the bench in a fit of laughter. He just looked too adorable at the moment.
"Yes you are! Liar!" He pointed a finger at her.
"You – you just look so cute when you're all flustered and embarrassed." She bit her lip.
"I wonder how you look when you walk around your house dramatically sighing, 'Oh Itachi I love you. I want to kiss you. You're so strong, and handsome, and mysterious! Muamuamua!'" He imitated kissing sounds. Her jaw hit the ground. The heat rose to her cheeks.
"I – I…you…"
"Hehe, not so fun is it?" He teased.
"I – I'm telling Itachi!"
"Nani!?"
"You're being mean to me Sasuke! He's going to kick your butt. Then we'll see who is laughing."
"You're bluffing." He stated, locking eyes with her.
"Oh am I? Itachi!"
"He's not here."
"Then tell me Sasuke, who is that over there?" She pointed. His eyes widened.
"Itachi come here!" She called out. The older Uchiha squinted to see who had called his name. He smiled upon seeing Kokoa, then furrowed his brow when an irritated/terrified Sasuke came into view.
"Sasuke is harassing meeee!"
"D – don't listen Ni-san! She's lying!"
"He just doesn't want to get in trouble is all." She snapped, narrowing her eyes at Sasuke.
"Um…" Itachi threw a hand behind his head, laughing nervously. "I would love to help you two solve your little problem, but…there 's some dango that needs eating…somewhere far from here…" He ran off in the opposite direction.
"Look what you did. You made him run off Sasuke."
"Don't be mad your boyfriend would rather make out with dango instead of you." He smirked. Letting her head fall,
"Ugh…you're right."
"My first mission since the injury…" Kokoa mumbled to herself as she made her way to the designated meeting area. Running a shaky hand through her hair, she paused, lips parted, flabbergasted by the sight of her team.