What Makes us Human?

Carrie came back to base after liberating five more pregnant Handmaids from Gilead. Two went to Spain while the other three decided to go for Australia or the UK. The farther they were from Gilead, the safer they felt. She passed by soldiers who bowed in respect to their superior and savior as they bustled about in their efforts to make themselves useful for the cause. She gritted her teeth as pain flared from her side.

"Saint White!"

She turned to see Frances approach to her with a relieved smile. Carrie returned her smile and gave the gentle woman an affectionate hug. "You look well." Carrie said as she pulled away from her friend who walked beside her.

"Thank you. You look tired." Frances observed the dark circles peeking out under the mask and the way the girl seemed to slouch.

"Five pregnant Handmaids this time. It took much longer than usual, but they are far away from Gilead." The Saint informed the former Martha, "Thankfully the other countries agreed to grant Gilead refugees asylum after seeing the atrocities done to the ones in Washington."

Frances nodded, "I remember. I also saw the part where you sent Waterford skyward." She failed to keep the grin off her face when she remembered what happened to the Commander who led the mass prayer.

Carrie smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, I kinda lost my temper there."

"Oh, trust me, we all wanted to do that to him. Though I think they'd have let him fall splat on the concrete." Frances stated as they made their way to the Saint's chamber. She dragged her feet towards the bed and fell face first into the comforter, she had to use an excessive amount of her powers these past few weeks to lead people out of Gilead, so she felt drained.

Frances closed the door behind her as the Saint lethargically moved her body into a seated position. "Shall I make some tea?" She offered the holy leader who was exhausted from her mission.

"Chamomile would be lovely, thank you." Carrie said as she made her way towards the changing screen.

Frances made her way towards where the tea bags were located and started boiling the water. She heard the shuffling of clothing being removed along with a pained gasp. She turned towards the changing screen to see the Saint white cloak draped over the screen, but what made her heart stop was the sight of blood staining the inner cloth of said cloak.

"Your Holiness?" Frances called out then heard a heavy thump from behind the screen. She dashed over to the changing screen and saw the Saint in a white camisole hunched over, gasping as she held the side of her ribs. Her strawberry-blonde hair fell over her face and sweat perspired all over her neck and shoulder. Frances swiftly came to her side. "What's wrong?"

Carrie opened her eyes and looked down at her heavily bandaged side to see the blood seep through the gauze and stain her fingers. Her mask remained on her face, but the sweat that built up behind the material made her skin uncomfortable. She looked up at Frances' wide eyes through the fringes of her hair. Yet her vision began to blur before sleep overtook her.

Frances caught the Saint who slumped over. "Your Holiness!" She panicked when she heard the girl's unsteady breaths before she carried her over to the bed. She lifted up the girl's tank top to see the blood seeping through the bandages.

"Oh shit!"

Frances turned to see the Saint's second-in-command standing in the doorway with a fearful expression. He practically flew over to the girl's bed side and carefully inspected the wound then gently turned her onto her side to see another blood soaked bandage on her back.

"Gunshot." Alex concluded as he carefully laid her onto her back again. He pulled off his scarf, bunched it up then firmly pressed her hand against the wound to slow down the bleeding. "Frances, please hold your hand on the wound."

Frances did as he ordered. "Like this?"

"Good, keep it like that." Alex got up and rushed over to the bathroom where he kept the medical supplies.

Frances kept her hand against the wound as the Saint's breathing became heavier. Sweat coated her entire body and made her clothes and hair stick to her. The former Martha stared at the mask that was now gathering sweat and looked like it was making the girl uncomfortable. Frances was curious about the hidden face of God's chosen protector. Why does she hide behind a mask? Does as carry a scar from her past like the rebellion soldiers suspect, or was it something much deeper than that. She swallowed her saliva as she removed one of her hands from the wound and slowly moved her hand to the girl's face. Her fingers touched the material of the white mask and carefully removed it from her face.

Frances dropped the mask onto the covers in shock when she saw the Saint's face for the first time. There was no scar, not even a single blemish. She looked young, appearing to be in her late teens at most, yet her face looked very childlike and innocent. Is this girl truly the Saint in the White Mask?

"You weren't supposed to see her face."

Frances gasped and turned to see Alex set the medical kit on the bedside table.

She opened her moth to speak, but Alex quickly cut her off, "We'll talk after she's patched up." Then he set to work suturing Carrie's wound and replacing the bandages. He was methodical in his work, gentle and diligent as he worked to close up that wound. He glanced at Carrie's face that scrunched up in pain, but never woke up. For that, he was grateful. Better to work on patients while they sleep. With fresh gauze and bandages in place, he and Frances breathed a sigh of relief as they stepped away from the slumbering girl.

Alex wiped the sweat from his face then glanced at Frances who stared at the girl's childlike innocent face. He released another sigh. "This must never get out."

Frances turned to Alex. "What do you mean?"

Alex gently pulled the covered over Carrie. "No one can know she got shot." He said as he stepped back, pulling the white semi-transparent curtains of the canopy until she was concealed.

"That can't be right." Frances stated as she stared at Alex in confusion. "Shouldn't they have the right to know what happened to their leader?"

Alex turned to her with what looked to be sadness and fear. "No one can know. If they find out she's actually a human, they will lose their faith in her and the cause." He glanced down at the white mask he picked up off the bed.

Frances' eyes widened at what she heard. "You mean to tell me, that this little girl, God's Holy Soldier, didn't actually come from Him?" She questioned him as she glanced at the Saint.

"She is a Holy Soldier." Alex determinedly stated. "She was born and raised as human. But had a lonely miserable life thanks to her crazy religious mother. All the abuse and unjust hate she suffered from her peers and only family caused her powers to lash out and kill many people, her tormenters included. Now she's here trying to make amends for her actions." He said as he made his way to the table and sat down. "She inherited her powers through her father's bloodline. We don't know where it really came from or how it's even possible, but I believe God put her in this world to save us from Gilead. We can debate about her humanity all day, but for whatever rhyme or reason, she's a true miracle, and she's the only light in this dark place." He let out another sigh, "If people find out the truth, then that light diminishes. All the hope they place on her will be lost, and Gilead wins."

Frances was silent as she took in everything he just confessed. Her eyes were soft whenever they glanced at the now vulnerable leader who is always steadfast and determined in the face of her enemy. To find out that she is actually a very special human girl holding so much responsibility after living a miserable life with her mother shook her entire world.

"I understand why you don't want people to know." Frances began. "They see her as this angel of salvation sent by God himself. They believe in her because she embodies the true meaning of God's love and compassion." She paused as tears shimmered in her eyes. "But you want to know what I saw just now? The real truth. I saw a young girl stumble back into this base hiding her pain. A girl who forced herself to keep moving and keep smiling no matter how much hurt she was feeling. And you're telling me that no one can ever see her as a human?"

Alex looked regretful as he nodded, "I didn't know any other way to defeat Gilead. This regime sees women as something less than human. But that girl, she's more than human. She is what they fear the most and she is what they will never become."

"But to place so much on her shoulders?" Frances exclaimed, furious at the very idea of forcing such a role upon her.

"What would you do Frances?" Alex asked, mildly frustrated by her accusatory tone.

Frances was silent at that question, unable to find the right answer. She glanced at the Saint again and asked, "What happens after Gilead? What will happen to her when all the fighting is over, and Gilead is gone for good?"

Alex sighed again, "We don't know. She doesn't know what she wants to do after." He looked down at his hands and swallowed, "I want her to have a second chance at life, to live like a human being for once. But we both know that will never happen as long as Gilead reigns over this nation."

Frances bowed her head in acknowledgement over that statement. This girl had a sorrowful life, yet fights for her nation to free her people. Never in her life did she think she would meet a selfless angelic being like the Saint. She didn't believe miracles or angels exist when Gilead took over, but this girl proved otherwise. She is both human and angel in her opinion, and she deserves happiness after everything she's been through.

"What's her real name?" Frances asked as she watched the gentle rise a fall of the Saint's breathing. This girl who the former Martha has come to love and care for deserves a good rest and respite from all the horrors she forces herself to deal with everyday.

"Her name is Carrie White."

"'White'." Frances chuckled, "I guess that's appropriate. I won't say her real name, or anything about her wound. But she does deserve a break." She stated as she turned to Alex. "How many know of her true identity?"

"Just you and me." Alex paused, "And I think what's left of the American Government in exile."

"They know who she is?"

"Mark Tuello suspects. He may have already figured it out by now." He sighed, "The last time I talked to him, he told me about the massacre that happened in Chamberlain, Maine. This was fifteen years ago. He knew what Carrie White suffered through, and the cruelty that caused her to snap and kill over a hundred students at her prom that fateful night."

"Did he say anything that would indicate Carrie's fate should her secret get out?" Frances asked, worried for the girl's future after all the hell she's gone through.

"He didn't say. If he does know, he'll keep it to himself." Alex leaned back, "If Carrie is put on trial and locked away, our chances at victory will go down. He knows this, the governments know this. They need every soldier willing and available to help destroy Gilead."

"That's a lot of pressure you're putting on her. Not only that, but doesn't this whole 'Masked Saint' isolate her from her people?" Frances nodded her head to the mask in Alex's hand.

Alex held up the white mask as it gleamed in the candle's light. "For your information, I made this mask." He sighed as he traced the edges of the mask. "I gave this to her because I thought it would help bring out the savior from within. Though she mainly uses it to hide from people." He sadly stated, as he gently set the mask down.

Frances looked confused. "Why? She can take it off and live among us every once in a while. No one would know."

Alex sighed, "She's not used to people. She feels safer when no one can see her face. Her peers called her ugly since she was a child, and that has left behind some scars."

Frances scoffed, "Ugly? That girl is a beautiful angel."

"My thoughts exact." Alex smiled at the sleeping girl with fondness. "Out of everyone here in this nation, she is the most human. She understands humans better than anyone, but cannot bring herself to interact with them without the mask. She's afraid of their judgement."

Frances picked up the mask she's become so familiar with and sighed. "This mask hides more scars than anyone realized."

Alex nodded. "I'm glad you found out. She needs more friends who understand and accept the real her. I've seen you care for her even when you didn't have to."

Frances chuckled. "That girl goes above and beyond to take care of us, yet doesn't take time for herself."

Alex joined her in her laugh. "That's one of her stubborn points. In fact, no one's ever taken care of her out of pure kindness. It's foreign to her." He sadly added.

Frances frowned at that. How could anyone hurt and belittle such an innocent child is beyond her. This girl never deserved that loneliness. Seeing this young girl, barely an adult, but hardly a child, she wanted nothing more than to soothe away all the pain and fears and help her see that she is worthy of love and happiness like all humans. She took care of her, not because she was trained as a Martha, but because she genuinely cares for her much like she did with Hannah. Alex may have taught her what Gilead is like, but not how the country from the time before. Frances can be that source of guidance for Carrie, teach her what their nation was like prior to Gilead, and what she can look forward to after.

Watching Carrie's steady breathing, she made a vow to be her friend, for this selfless compassionate being to never feel loneliness again.

Didn't know how else to end this chapter. I wanted to give Frances a role in this story, and her finding out about Carrie was perfect. We're nearing the end of season 3 and we'll transition into season 4. Next chapter will have Carrie test her morals.