"Just remember to keep that door open, so as long as it is you can find someone on the other side waiting for you."

Shinji laid stretched out on the futon mat, a thick heavy blanket covering him with only his feet sticking out. He silently replayed Shuya's last words to himself.

Shinji suddenly felt his chest and cheeks start to burn as it began to feel like the blanket resting above him turned into a furnace. With each breath he could feel his heartbeat growing heavier. It's echoing beat reaching his toes, looking down at them he kicked the cover over them and glanced at the shoji door that was halfway open.

Letting out a shaky breath he tried to ignore the feeling of his heart trembling as well as the building up cold feeling in his calves. Those words still kept replaying over in his head, as Shinji tried to imagine what it would be like back in Tokyo. Who would be on the other side of the door he wondered.

It seemed that Rei was now out of the question of imagining, but he could still remember the soft touch and silky feeling of Asuka's lips and skin. The slight warmth of her skin, it's smoothness and how she seemed to blush at his touch. But then the damn sound of the phone ringing would come back, and he would see Asuka sitting in his lap, shirt pulled halfway over her face waiting for him to make his next move.

A slight smile on her face as she let her teeth drag across her lower lip.

Then that image would just disappear, who else was there then?

Closing his eyes again he thought back to his life in Tokyo, sometimes at night when he was supposed to be asleep or in his room working on his school work or even when he was just in the living room relaxing with his SDAT player and a book with the TV on in the background.

Even the nights when he had his player plucked into his ears, he still had the volume turned on low, just enough to hear the shower on. He could hear the different patterns of the water hitting the tile and Misato's body.

Just trying to capture the memory of it, he could see the shower door with the silhouette of Misato, her arms stretched back behind her head washing her hair making her breasts pop out more. The way she would stretch her body to wash her arms and legs.

Some nights when just seeing the curvy outline of her body wasn't enough, he would position himself facing the door, acting as if he were asleep on his side his eyes barely open by a hair. He'd hear the door slide open and knew what to do, he'd let his eyes flutter open and see Ms. Misato wrapped up tightly in a towel that looked like it was ready to pop off and flutter to the floor. She would dry her hair with a spare one before letting it drop to the floor.

Then sitting down, she would lotion her body slowly, being sure to rub in the off pink cream into every inch of her body. Before long she would finish her nightly routine and walk off to her room, sometimes when he couldn't help himself and could no longer stand the burning swelling of his member would softly tiptoe to the bathroom, hoping to catch a whiff of the cherry blossom scented cream. Standing up in the dark he leaned against the door and dropped his bottoms around his ankles and closing his eyes would swallow nervously.

Focusing on that sweet intoxicating scent would breath it in as much as he could as he held his throbbing balls in one hand while with the other would wrap his fingers around the swelling head and would begin to thrust, humping his hand.

He would keep replaying the mental images of Misato washing herself in the shower, along with her towel dropping and her rubbing that body lotion all over her breasts letting her hands slowly reach down to her most precious part. And just before he could mentally picture what Misato's womanhood would look like, the backs of his legs would tremble as his crotch and stomach tightened up.

Letting out a gasp he would shiver as he felt the hot thick stream of semen shoot out, coating his fingers and always landing on the towel that she had used to dry off her body with.

Back under the covers Shinji could feel his body tremble as it went from the extremes of freezing to burning hot. Already he felt that swelling and throbbing sensation, and the growing spot of hot stickiness growing out from where the head of his member rested, aching in pain being trapped and bent by his underwear.

It heat and throbbing aches, it's raw smell and slow growth just screamed that it was begging to be touched. He slipped his fingers underneath the covers, letting the tips of them slide into his underwear where he slowly began to caress and stroke it.

He kept picturing Misato, as well as that couple he had once seen in the movie theater. How happy they seemed he thought, to feel the warmth of each other's skin. The sweet salty taste of each other's lips, that warm buzzing heavy feeling in their hearts. How unalone they must have felt.

He wished he could have been that guy, jealously began to surge through his body as he wished it was him sitting next to that cute girl, whether it was her, Misato, Asuka or maybe even Rei. He wondered how it'd feel to be snuggled that close up to a girl, so close to where her giggles at you touching and kissing her neck let her hot breath warm up your skin. Just before you touch her breast, letting her heartbeat make it throb as you squeeze it and knead it.

Then she'd wrap her arms around his neck pulling him in as she wrapped her lips around his, letting her tongue stroke his own.

But that gut churning feeling of jealousy and anger began to bubble up in the pit of his stomach making his throat burn as his hand went further down ready to grab his ever growing manhood by its base and stroke it until it had sprayed those toxic feelings and wants from his body, letting him relax and fall asleep.

"Why couldn't I be close to them? Why do they keep hurting me? Why do none of them want to be around me?" he softly asked himself feeling the corners of his eyes starting to sting.

"I know why…" he replied back feebly, "It's because it's me."

Suddenly that anger began to burn out from him, that anger he felt towards the world for having people that he loved or at least felt these strong burning urges towards only to have them in turn hurt him or ignore him. He began to feel cold again.

'Why can't I be close to someone? Anyone?!'he began to scream in his mind.

Gritting his teeth to the point where it felt as if they would crack, he shut his eyes, 'WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!'

He began to feel his eyes stinging, 'It's too much… it's all too much.'

Thinking back, he began to see how truly alone he had been all his life after his father had abandoned him, how long he had lived without any true connections or contact. At first, he thought he could bear it all, thought that he could keep living alone and keep people at a distance to protect his own feelings. But these last few days had pushed him to beyond his breaking point. There was only one other instance.

One Valentine's day a year or so after he had been living with his aunt and uncle, he eagerly went to school, the day before some girls had already began to give chocolates or cards to the boys either anonymously or in front of the whole class.

When Valentine's day had come, Shinji sat at his desk with his little fluttering heart waiting and watching as girls give their gifts to their crushes.

Once lunch rolled around he went to his spot in the sandbox, sitting and waiting as groups of girls would follow their friend who would shyly hide a red box behind her back before presenting it to a boy, only to then run away as soon as it left her fingers.

He watched longingly, waiting to feel that little burning knee knocking sensation, but then the school day ended. Even after waiting on the playground until the sun was near set, he went home with no gifts. The rest of the girls who were either out sick or were too nervous brought their gifts, all Shinji could do was sit in his desk and stare at it. Soon enough every boy but him, had received something.

The next day during a free period he couldn't hold it in any longer, he began to whimper and cry small tears. Just as he was about to break into full body aching sobs, the sensei called him to her desk. Worried about what was to come he nervously stood up and walked over, his tiny hands clasped together above his chest.

She stood up and took something out from her desk, it was a small red heart shaped box, tied shut with a red ribbon. A small white card with his name scribbled on it.

She explained to him that she found it after leaving the classroom one night, that whichever girl meant to give it to him must have lost it. Standing there in front of her he took the box, and not knowing how to feel had begun to openly sob.

Burying his face into the teacher's skirt he held on tightly upset that he wasn't able to share the same feelings as the others around him. And when the other children had begun to laugh at him it only made him cry even harder.

He was so tired of it, feeling unwanted. But now all those feelings and desires of his had began to slowly work their way up to the surface. He was dying to be wanted and desired by another, he wanted to feel connected and feel another person's warmth. He wanted to become one with another body.

The only thing that pulled him out of his epiphany was the slight draft coming from the door.

just as it occurred to him that he should close the door he heard a slow creaking coming from down the hallway.

His hand shot out of his pants as his heart began to race, he began to take deep ragged breaths. Not taking his eyes off of the door he kept watch as the creaking of the wood floors, wondering what the source of the noise was. All the while those same words kept repeating and almost seemed to be getting louder themselves, "Just remember to keep that door open."

With a final breath he let out, Shinji felt one last shiver run through his body already he felt goosebumps start to pop up from his cold flesh but still his member burned and was starting to slowly fight against the tightness of his underwear. It slowly curled upwards popping up in a bent angle, raising the covers. Just as Shinji was going to reach down and readjust himself the door rattled slightly, letting out a panicked gasp Shinji looked up and saw Shuya standing in the doorway.

Before he could even let out a confused syllable leave his mouth Shuya stepped in, closing the door behind him he walked slowly over to the mat a soft and warm look on his face as he looked at Shinji who was slowly starting to push himself up with the heels of his hands.

His heart thumped rapidly with his mouth agape as Shuya walked closer to him.

'What's going on?' he wondered to himself.

Sitting still and rigid, Shinji watched as Shuya walked into the moonlight to show his bulky and carved form, and the member that was freely hanging between his legs. Shinji watched with open eyes as Shuya rested beside him, laying on his right shoulder, his muscles popping out showing their firmness. Then a firm but soft hand reached out to Shinji softly touching his cheek caressed it before sliding down to his waist slowly pulling off the covers then find a resting spot on his knee.

Shinji sucked in his breath, as his heart began pumping and chest had begun to tighten faster than it was possible for him to breathe. He sat there letting the bulky hand and forearm explore his lower half. But what was more overwhelming than the fact that Shuya was now touching him was the pure body heat that he and Shuya seemed to be radiating.

It was so potent that Shinji swore he could smell it in the air, like a salty Seabreeze that came in during the summer.

But that heat that traveled up from Shuya's hand was incredible, there was nothing more intoxicating that than feeling of being touched and caressed by another. Even through his sleeping bottoms that heat was quickly drunken up, letting it spread into his inner legs.

"Ohhh." He softly gasped letting his eyes shut.

"Oh god."

Tears of relief had begun to form in his eyes. Just then a familiar sensation began to overtake his mind.

It was that strange and alien sensation that could only be known to the EVA pilots. The same feeling, he felt whenever he was able to manipulate the Evangelion's AT-field. Staring down he saw that his member was now standing up firmer and had begun to turn from a mild uncomfortable pleasure into pain.

But even with the pain slowly rocking his body, he remained calm. It was the only calm he had felt when he was dreaming and even his surroundings seemed to carry a strange aura to them, it was as if everything was in slow motion.

Every sound, breath, and sigh had a strange echo to it that carried a vibrating wave to it.

Shinji groaned as Shuya's heat continued to inflate his member, already it was now standing straight up, lifting Shinji's bottoms to the point where just by resting his chin on his chest. Shinji was able to see the small pulsating veins that were popping up on his manhood.

It reared up from its' confined and coiled position like a snake. Looking Shuya in the eye, Shinji spread his legs wide with invitation.

He felt vulnerable, and ironically naked in this position, laying on his back with his stomach and genitals up for view like a dog. And it scared him immensely, but his psyche kept whispering in his ear about how much he wanted and needed this, and that he should just let it go.

Shinji sighed as he pulled his shorts off, bending it painfully straight down before it was launched straight up, giving his stomach a light slap before standing straight up again. And then he began to lightly caress it staring Shuya in the eye.

It was so painful hidden under the cloth of his clothes, just like his heart was hurt by all those years of isolation and loneliness but now that it was standing out there in the open, there was no pain at all.

He shuddered as he took a loose grip around it and had begun to pump his hand, he remembered reading the NERV booklet once while he was bored. He remembered the reason why that particular name was chosen for the organization.

It was the German word for nerve, which was something the soul used to reach out with. He didn't quite understand it just then but now, feeling the cold air caress and rattle his nerves making his skin shiver as his nerves took in the cold of his surroundings and then the heart of Shuya, he was beginning to.

Shuya's hand lifted up from Shinji's knee and with a warm smile began to move, Shinji held his breath in anticipation as it moved to his building desires, and once it was a hair's width away he could begin to feel the heat off it.

Shinji was sure to keep his eyes open, taking in this special moment. Then letting go of his member, Shinji watched as Shuya's fingers wrapped around the head of Shinji's cock and then with a soft and swift downward motion made Shinji's back shiver and cry out in pleasure just before Shuya had begun to stroke and caress his manhood.

A drunken smile of pleasure worked its way over Shinji's face, if his eyes were open and a mirror were in his hand, Shinji was certain that his face would be painted entirely red. He let out a long sigh of relief as his member was grasped and his nerves that were so thirsting for human touched were now begin given their first drink ever.

His whole body had began to be bathed in that warmth, "Nggghhh… god!" he groaned.

Shinji's hands had begun to grasp and caress the hand and muscles that were now giving this unbelievable bliss, he gently touched and worshipped them. Trying to give any kind of affection back that could rival that one he was receiving, he only felt that this was way he could truly show his gratitude.

He swore that the very warmth he was getting worked its way into his soul. The more he gave into it, and let his body go limp and be touched by Shuya he could feel his problems slowly dissolving. Shinji softly crooned as he began to curl up almost hugging Shuya, silently begging him not to stop.

And soon he began to gyrate and move his hips along with Shuya's movements trying to heighten that feeling, thrusting into Shuya's hand.

Shinji moaned and sighed openly and loudly as he brought the hand deeper into his crotch, grinding into it as if he was making love to the hand itself. But it wasn't enough, his thrust had begun to intensify as well as his cries of pleasure which now had seemingly taken on a slight feminine quality.

This only seemed to motivate Shuya, who still had not uttered a single word or seemed to in any other way acknowledge what was happening besides keeping his eyes staring deep into Shinji's soul.

Shinji opened his eyes, letting the look of his mouth open, a wide smile and misting eyes show, to let Shuya see just how much pleasure he was being given and how much he enjoyed his touch.

Shinji couldn't help but eye the popping chiseled body of Shuya, his muscles even though looking like the marble that the men of the renaissance had carved the most beautiful men of he couldn't help but touch them and feel that slight fleshy give that let him know Shuya was in fact human.

Shinji's thought grew even hazier at the sight of his body, one that that he could only dream of having and showing off. But now it was clear, he wanted to be seen by Shuya, again just like in the bath only now he wanted to show off every inch of skin he had to offer to let Shuya know that he was his.

Taking his shirt off Shinji presented himself. Both bodies illuminated by the moonlight, Shuya's hand never stopped stroking while Shinji undressed. And now that there were less clothes that could restrict Shinji's movements, Shuya with his free hand moved it under Shinji's swollen sack and caressed it.

The gentle and playful motions were affectionate actions of care, just forceful enough to move the testicles under the skin but not enough to hurt them. And with each calculated touch and stroke to the affection starved Shinji, they seemed to be screaming a hundred "I love you" s. Tears now began to slowly fall from Shinji's eyes, letting him beam his gratitude and pleasure into Shuya's eyes, letting the image of the pleasure and love drunk Shinji leave a mark on his mind and soul.

Shinji moaned again, louder once Shuya gripped his member again letting his voice echo throughout the empty Inn. He doubled his efforts into thrusting into Shuya's hands revealing in the feeling of having his skin gently pulled back, letting out moans and laughs of joy as he looked up at Shuya with a sultry gaze, hoping that Shuya genuinely wanted him.

Hoping that for some reason Shuya found him sexy.

Shinji's thrusts picked up in speed and Shuya matched intensifying his strokes.

Just as Shinji felt his balls were going to burst and his whole body burn up, he felt all the muscles in his groin and butt tense up and squirm just as he cried out loudly and then with a wave of heat and quivering nerves Shinji's body quickly locked up and went limp as his seed was spurted all over Shuya's chest.

Shinji moaned loudly, crying out in pleasure moan that he never knew he could be capable of. Shinji felt the back of his head knock into the floor beneath him, he still felt the tickling twitch at the head of his cock that now looked like an over sized grape as it leaked out his seed.

His whole body felt cold for one brief second before a drunken warming heat overtook him, he had just enough time to watch as Shuya seemed to gurgle and collapse in on himself like a puddle of liquid, an oddly orange colored liquid whose scent seemed to override his senses that made his whole body burn and vibrate. Then with his eyes slowly fluttering shut, lost consciousness, the last thing his senses could take in was some familiar scent that he couldn't quite place. But if there was one last thing he had to smell before he felt nothing else, this was the perfect thing.