Tick, tick, tick, the clock shifted. Beep, beep, beep, the machines clicked and churned. Throwing her head back against the pillow, Kokoa struggled one last time, a frantic attempt to free her wrists from their restraints. After her episode in the street, falling to her knees in agony, and crying for Itachi, she was rushed to the hospital of course, to be evaluated and looked after. Root had her restrained and under watch even in the little, white room. Screaming Itachi's name was something she shouldn't have done. If anyone still believed she no longer cared for him, it was all over now. While recovering, Tsunade had Shizune check in to ask questions and do some tests in an effort to figure out what was causing her pain.

Cursing in defeat, she let her body fall limp against the mattress with a sigh, hot tears flooding her eyes. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Naruto were still out on their mission, and Jiraiya was nowhere to be found. Alone. She was all alone again. Shizune stood outside her room, peering in through the small glass window of the door. She turned around surprised.

"Tsunade-sama? I didn't expect to see you here. Don't you have that pile of papers you still need to go through?"

"I do, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with that. I'm much more interested in our special little case here," the Hokage explained, glancing at Kokoa as Shizune had been.

"Ah."

"Anything new?"

"I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. Nothing. There's nothing. Blood tests, scans, psyche evaluations…when she has a fit or episode she's in extreme pain and may be disoriented, hence the screaming and wandering into the street as witnesses reported, but once she calms down she's stable. No sign of mental instability or illness for the most part. She isn't the happiest or healthiest girl, but she's aware. She's aware of the world around her. I can't think of anything. I mean, if you couldn't figure something out…"

"I know," she sighed.

"Excuse me asking, but why the sudden interest in her?" Shizune inquired.

"For one, she's under surveillance and has been ever since the Uchiha massacre. As Hokage I can't neglect that fact. Also, Hatake Kakashi seems to be quite fond of her, and she mentioned Jiraiya. If she's involved with those two, Uchiha Sasuke, and Itachi…she's not your average kunoichi. With her past and now the condition she's in, I can't just ignore it, especially as Hokage. Kuroki Kokoa is a mystery we need to solve. I dug around a bit, but no luck. Her clan isn't from this village, so there isn't much on them."

"I understand," Shizune nodded, pressing her clipboard to her chest. "If all remains the same, she'll be released tomorrow."

"Fine by me." Tsunade turned to leave. "Oh, Shizune, if she does wind up in the hospital again, make sure we know about it."

"Hai," she nodded, following her out. Once gone from sight, Zaji took their place, stealing a glance at Kokoa who was now asleep.

'At first I questioned Danzo-sama about his orders to watch you. I didn't think we'd have to worry, but given what you're experiencing right now, Kokoa, it all makes sense,' he thought to himself. Straightening his vest, he turned and stood erect before the door, continuing his mission, never leaving that spot.

"Can I ask you something?" she inquired, back against the tree as she picked and bent little blades of grass.

"Depends," he replied, appearing before her. Kokoa turned her head with a laugh.

"Come on, Zaji. You're stalking me for God's sake. I deserve a question, don't you think?" Relieved to finally be out of the hospital, Kokoa found herself craving the outdoors; the crispness of the breeze, the warmth of the sun. They made her feel alive if only for a little while, eased some of the numbness. The nature gave her some peace, especially with Sasuke and the others still away.

"What's this question of yours then?" He adjusted his mask before folding his arms across his chest. She remained quiet for a moment, thinking of the best way to approach this.

"My parents."

"What about them?"

"I could ask you to tell me everything about them; to tell me where I came from, but…since you're being so kind as to let me ask in the first place, I'll keep it short."

"Hn, you never change. Fine then. Make it quick. I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, not sit around and play games."

"What happened to them?"

"What do you mean –"

"When I was younger everyone refused to tell me the details, and I get it, I was a child, but to this day I don't know what happened. Why did they die? How? Where? By who? Why are they dead, Zaji?"

"Why the sudden interest?"

"They're my parents –"

"Still."

"I just…I was thinking, and I just miss them. I want to know. Can you tell me?"

"Hmm," he hummed, watching her. Sometimes she was arrogant and rude, other times miserable and pathetic, and now she sat up determined for answers.

"Your parents, Kokoa, died quite interestingly. Your father, Kuroki Akihiko, was a shinobi of course, as was your mother, but she resigned from the force after conceiving you. Akihiko was on a mission when it all went wrong. There was an attack, an ambush, and he along with two other Konoha shinobi died. Your mother, on the other hand, was not killed. She retired early after all."

"So then?"

"She committed suicide."

"What…" She felt the knot form in her throat, the weight in her stomach drop as she stared at him with parted lips and horror filled eyes.

"Unable to bear the pain of losing her husband, Sakiko killed herself. She killed herself out of grief, leaving her infant child behind."

"You lie!" She leapt to her feet, voice shaky and cracked.

"Why would I lie about that? What could I possibly gain from doing so? You're already miserable. There's no more fun in toying with you."

"My mother didn't kill herself. She couldn't have committed suicide –"

"And why not? Her name's not on the Memorial Stone, is it? She wasn't a shinobi when she died. She was not killed in action. She was not honored anywhere."

"No, but neither is my father's –"

"Your father was a mess, Kokoa. There are a number of reasons he wasn't honored on the stone or anywhere for that matter."

"What do you mean?" She stepped back, flinching at his harsh tone.

"For one, your parents weren't Konoha natives. They drifted in from God knows where. You can understand why the village would be suspicious of two shinobi of a small clan wandering in one day. There was something about your father…to some he was kind, but others received a strange vibe. People distanced themselves and they weren't surprised when he died. He was a decent enough ninja –"

"But?"

"Hn, your father was slow, Kokoa."

"Slow?"

"Yes, slow. As in dumb, stupid, senseless. He was awkward and left others feeling uneasy. He was scattered and unorganized, a disheveled mess, and when anyone spoke to him it was as if he didn't hear a word they said, like he didn't understand. People talked at him and it all phased through him like the brain damaged fool everyone saw him as. Your father was a dense man, and that ultimately got him killed."

"Shut up!" she shouted, pointing a shaky finger his way. "You're lying! Stop lying!"

"Why would I lie? If you don't believe me, go ask the Hokage. Go ask anyone. Akihiko was killed, and your mother took her own life like the coward she was."

"You shut your mouth. Don't you dare speak of my parents as if you knew them. My father, my mother, they weren't – they –" Hands trembling, lip quivering, she struggled to find the words.

"You're a lot like them, Kokoa," he said with a tilt of his head. "You're naïve like your father, and if I remember correctly, you also considered suicide like your mother."

"I…" she looked up, speechless.

"Both of you so devastated to lose the men in your lives, left feeling so helpless, hopeless, and empty, convinced there was nothing to live for. Just as she put a blade to herself, you almost let Naka no Kawa sweep you away."

"How do you…"

"Her beloved husband was killed in the line of duty, leaving her alone with their newborn child. Anyone could sympathize with her, but you, Kokoa, you almost threw your life away for a man who betrayed Konoha, a man who took out his own clan and left you behind. Heh, and you wonder why we watch you. How could we turn a blind eye to the woman who cries for Uchiha Itachi? We're not stupid. We see right through you despite what you say or how much you deny it. We know what's in your heart, your true feelings, Kokoa, and that's why we're here."

"So there's no point in hiding it anymore is there?" She dropped to the grass with a thud.

"Your feelings? No. To be honest I don't think anyone really bought that you had forgotten Itachi – at least not any shinobi. It seems Sasuke did for some time, but he was young and so desperately wanted to believe you had moved on. He's very fond of you, Sasuke is," he went on. Kokoa held her face, shaking her head slightly.

"You couldn't have moved on for his sake? You couldn't have accepted what happened?"

"Please," she whispered.

"You have to keep clinging to the past, a past you know you can never change."

"Please! Aren't you supposed to watch me? Why are you talking to me?"

"You're the one who called on me. You want this "hell" to end, but you're not helping yourself by moping around and screaming for Itachi in the middle of the street."

"I wasn't myself then. I would have never made that mistake."

"It's too late now. It cannot be erased. All of Konoha knows you're still after him, and that is why I can't leave you alone. That is why I must push and prod. If you even think about getting in touch with him, I will know."

"What's the point? Why would I try? Why would I go after someone who doesn't care, someone who doesn't want me?" She slouched back against the tree.

"Why do I have trouble believing you right now?"

"I mean of course if given the chance, if he was here right now I'd talk to him. I'd try to get through to him, but I won't leave the village again. I won't go where I'm not wanted. He made it clear…I mean nothing to him. Can you imagine the pain of loving someone you can never have?"

"You said you want to talk to him. You want to listen and get to him, not join him. Why?" he inquired.

"Me going after Itachi isn't about gaining power or committing crime with him. I just…" She held back. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Naruto knew she suspected the Uchiha massacre, that things weren't what they seemed, but she was careful not to let that slip in front of Zaji. If he knew she suspected something and he reported it, Danzo would surely have her killed. It would be the cherry on top, the one excuse he needed to end her.

"I just love him. I just want to – this silly notion things could go back to the way they were. I just want my Itachi."

"Sasuke was right. If I can't find you that means you're at the lake."

"Kokoa?" Itachi turned half way to see her.

"Yo," she smiled, jogging over with a small stack of books.

"You're always carrying books."

"I just love reading. The characters and different worlds," she smiled with closed eyes. He chuckled gently into his hand.

"What?" She opened one eye. "Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not laughing."

"Yes you are, Itachi-san."

"I'm just happy I guess."

"Happy?" She sat down beside him. "My books make you happy?"
"Not your books, silly. You," he smiled.

"Me?" She blinked at him, pointing to herself.

"I'm happy we finally had the chance to work together a few weeks ago. You're very hardworking and smart."

"Oh, arigat –"

"And sometimes when I want to get away from training, school, and my father I like being with you."

"But I'm – I'm so quiet and boring. Sometimes I still wonder why you talk to me when we turned in our project a while ago," she shrugged.

"It's because you are quiet." He gazed out across the glistening lake, swishing his feet in the cold water. "You understand things – the world. You aren't so obsessed with silly things like others. I like having you with me because we're a lot alike, but we're also different, if that makes any sense," he flashed a grin. "You're very kind too. And you don't have a family. I want to be your family, the person you can count on just like Sasuke. He likes you a lot too. Sometimes I imagine what it'd be like when we're older, the three of us, if we stick together. And Shisui."

"Shisui?"

"He's my friend. Maybe you'll meet him one day too."

"Mmm," she nodded.

"So why were you looking for me?"

"Hu? Me? Oh…" She thought for a moment before replying. She had just left the library and was headed home. Itachi often caught up to her after school and offered to help carry her things if she needed; a simple but oh so kind gesture that always brought a smile to her lips, that told her someone did care.

"I was carrying all these books, I thought about how you're always helping me carry them. I just wanted to say hello."

"You're too small to always carry so many."

"I am not," she pouted.

"Mmhm."

"So are you, Itachi-san."

"I'm still taller than you though," he grinned, placing a hand on her head. She let her shoulders fall with a sigh.

"You're smarter than me, stronger than me, and taller."

"Kokoa?"

"Hm?"

"Do me a favor?"

"O-of course."

"Don't compare yourself to me, or anyone for that matter."

"But –"

"I get it, sometimes friendly competition in school, but don't live your life trying to catch up to others. I know you struggle with that. It's a little obvious," he teased, poking her forehead.

"I know…"

"You're smart, and you have your own strengths. You are you, Kokoa, and I truly believe you'll become something great."

"Itachi –" She bit her lip, forcing back tears. He watched her, surprised his words had affected her so.

"Hey," he started. "Why don't we get these back to your house? We can stop for dango on the way."

"Hai," she nodded, watching him rise to his feet. "Itachi-san?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for being my friend."

Itachi moved slowly after deciding he wouldn't go after Kokoa, and as he wandered the outskirts of Konoha, he swore he heard his name in the distance, unaware it was Kokoa having her episode in the street. Not long after, he found himself heading back towards the village.

Remembering what Shisui had once shared with him, Itachi knew being near Kokoa would be dangerous. If he wanted to protect his secret and continue living as he was, letting Sasuke and Kokoa deal on their own, he would have to avoid her at all costs.

While that remained true, Itachi realized it was time. He couldn't see Kokoa again. He couldn't risk it, but he could give her something, return what belonged to her. And so he swiftly returned to Konoha and sought out what he needed; a clandestine mission for a girl everyone believed they knew, but could not even begin to understand. They could not fathom her depth, and her worth; the blood boiling within.