A/N 1 Some things you need to know, and you may have forgotten.

First the underlying concept is could Charina exist. In canon, they don't seem to be compatible at that level. So, in fanfic, people seem to change Carina, make her more Sarah like.

I thought what if it was Chuck who changed.

This is not action or intrigue. This is drama, exploring personalities and personal journeys.
Action and missions tends to happen off screen, and large periods of time we be jumped over and referred to as needed.

So this AU diverts after Chuck was offered the Rome assignment. Also circumstances, such as they are, never led to Other Guy and American hero, or Tic Tac, which occurs later in Season 3.

There are 2 main premises to this fic.

1 Chuck is a Human, not a Saint. He is a fallible human, imperfect, and capable of making big, stupid mistakes.

2 Chuck firmly believes, in his core, that he has to be a real spy to be with Sarah. She seems to prefer them, and he feels he will always be inadequate otherwise. Charles Carmichael is who he feels he must be. Ain't it a bitch that becoming a spy lost him Sarah.

A/N 2 Chuck makes it back to L.A. More will come. Let's see how Charles Carmichael's life proceeds.

Standard Disclaimer – Don't Own Chuck or any of the characters. Just own an active imagination. Not making any money off this. Wish I was making more with my imagination, elsewhere.

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He finally made it to LA. Chuck pushed all thoughts of D.C. and planning discussions out of his mind. He would review them later. He was back in LA and soon to be in the rechristened Casa de Woodcomb.

The emptiness that had become part of his existence became more noticeable when he entered the courtyard. The sound of the fountain filled his ears and scents of the flowers filled his nose. It all filled in missing pieces of his life. Italy had beautiful sunny days and amazing beaches with ocean breezes, but as Chuck stood in The Courtyard, deeply breathed in the air, and turned his face to the sun, like a flower after a cold, dark night, he felt the difference. This is Home.

Chuck moves to the front door, excitement and some regret, mixed up his emotions. He is refilling with emotion.

He knocks, and when Ellie opens the door, his emotions and senses redline. God, it is so good to see her!

Seeing Ellie fills his heart with love, like the courtyard air filled his lungs. Oxygen and Ellie, both necessary for his continued existence. Unused parts of his heart are reawakened, no longer MIA. And when he sees Clara, held in Devon's arms, he is certain he feels his heart grows a little bigger.

Ellie is also vibrating, and when they hug, he wonders, will our combined energy cause the world to explode. Fortunately they survive it, and with eyes brimming with tears, matched by his own, Ellie pulls him into her home.

"How are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you in Europe? What Happened with Sarah? Why did you leave so suddenly?" Her questions were only paused by her need for more air. There was so much he needed to tell her. So much he couldn't tell her. So much he needed to find a way to kind of tell her in a mix of truth, half-truths, white lies and full on bald faced lies. He was more than happy to be home but this wasn't going to be pleasant to go through.

"Hold on Ellie, One question at a time, although they kind of are inter-related." Chuck takes a deep breath and begins to try to explain. "It starts and ends, and starts again, and totally involves Sarah."

Ellie's eyes widen, filled with a mix of confusion, concern, and a dash of anger. "What did she do, and what did she do to you?" she snapped.

"Hold on Ellie, its not about being bad person, its about being wounded soul. And Sarah is a wounded soul. I love…loved her dearly. But she has issues."

"With both the relationship energy that comes with a wedding, and my pushing her to deepen our relationship, she snapped. I asked for more than she was capable of giving. She ran back to D.C.. I ran after her. But I couldn't pull her out of her shell. So, I had to let her go." his voice catching from the remembered grief.

He sadly, quietly continued, "I couldn't bring myself to come right back here, because she still inhabited all of my places here. Anywhere I could go, anything I could do, I knew would just remind me of her, or the depressing lack of her."

It was obvious the news was hitting Ellie hard. She and Sarah had been bonding, Ellie seeing Sarah as a sister in spirit, and definitely anticipating a ceremony and document that would make their sisterhood legally official. And Ellie had such hopes for Chuck, that he had finally found "The One". Sarah also seemed to provide a spark, which pulled Chuck out of his multi-year stagnating funk. He could finally fulfill more of his potential and they would raise a happy family, side-by-side with hers. That was the dream. And now Chuck couldn't even come back to the reality, because reality had become nightmare.

She couldn't hold back a few sobs. It was like some kind of classic tragedy, written by heartless, cruel scribes.

He paused to catch his breath and let Ellie catch hers. Devon was watching them both, engrossed in the story, while still holding and rocking Clara, in some sort of Daddy autopilot. Clara's brown curls peeked out of the blanket, and Chuck lost himself for a moment, just soaking in the familial energy, with which Case de Woodcomb was now filled. He questioningly looked into her eyes and she nodded for him to continue.

With a deep breath, Chuck continued, "So, I stayed back East, and decided to look up an old frat brother who had moved to the beltway. And, he opened up this next chapter of my life. He was involved with investors and venture capitalist, and shared with me how interesting and profitable that world is.

We talked and he recognized that I had something unique to offer." You have so much to offer and never appreciate it, Ellie thought. "He said with the combination of my Technical savvy, my retail background, and my nerd credentials, I would have a good eye for promising technology. My first suggestions were well received and soon a consortium was paying me as a consultant, evaluating new tech. They needed someone in Europe, so then next thing I know, I'm in Europe, making good money and helping with things that make the world better." He smiled at her and Devon trying to give them assurance and hope.

It was a heck of a story, a totally fabricated lie, which he polished on the planes. He hated lying so completely to Ellie, but it would explain and cover all of his past activities and his future ones.

"Oh, Chuck. I am happy for you, and sad for you, and frustrated with you for leaving so suddenly, and hurt, and confused, and I don't know what all." she vented.

"I understand, Ellie. I was so worried that you would feel abandoned, and that's why I did let you know that I was still around, if not close by." he interjected trying to assuage her hurt feelings.

She leaned forward, took his hands in hers, and looked him deeply in the eyes. "It's a lot, and it's going to take me some time to absorb it all. But never forget that I love you, support you and believe in you. I know you are unique and valuable."

Ellie leaned back and huffed, "Europe? Did you really have to move all the way around the world? Are you safe and OK, and how will I keep you out of trouble?" Momma Bear is gonna Momma Bear.

Chuck smiled. "Yes Ellie, I am safe and fine."

"And looking toned, bro. You must be working out." Devon interjected.

Chuck laughed, "Yep Devon, I have taken to heart the need to not be a couch potato, but I don't think I am ready yet for your health drinks."

Devon joined in the laughter and replied, "Then I think that is only semi Awesome, bro. We'll get you to full Awesome one day."

"Ellie, believe me, I miss you. And I miss Devon. And I am now going to miss little Clara, and watching her grow. But I need to do this, and I need to do this now. I know you want a happy, domestic future for me. But right now my head and heart just aren't there." With downcast eyes he added, "I thought Sarah and I were heading in that direction."

But then, looking up and forcing a brighter tone, he insisted, "Maybe this is for the best. It is an adventure. I am doing something that I am good at, that helps make the world better. With no encumbrances and obligations, this is my time to explore, see the world and find out what I was missing sitting behind the Nerd Herd desk. I stagnated for 5 year at the Buy More. And, yes I know you were well aware of that, as you reminded me on a regular basis."

Ellie rolled her eyes and grinned in admission.

"Now is a time for travel and adventure, time for me have a positive impact on the world." he concluded.

At least this part of my story for Ellie and Devon, is a bit more truthful. The underlying sentiments are real, just the details aren't.

And, Chuck reluctantly admitted to himself, travel and adventure sucked, if you were alone. She was only person I imagined next to me when I was daydreaming back in Burbank. Now I have no one to share them with.

Carina was present, but she resisted sharing. Carina was convenient but not soul satisfying. Chuck looked down, shaking his head, recognizing, I guess I now better understand Bryce and Sarah's relationship. Fun but superficial, Close but not too close, limits on how deep you let feelings run. You just don't go there.

But this was his life now, Charles Carmichael's life. It may be lonely, but it is purposeful. Hopefully his good deeds carried on, while the loneliness would be fleeting, or at least bearable in individualized daily chunks.

As wonderful as this is, as comforting as it is, he stagnated here. A lotus eater, enjoying rest. But he knows that rest is so much more enjoyable if it follows vigorous action. And he didn't do much noteworthy action for 5 years. Ellie got her degree, got married, and now has a child. She created life and a life for herself; a life that he can share in, but has to grow out of being an integral part of. He needs his own life. He is trying to see if that is a spy life, Charles Carmichael's life.

"Let's just enjoy now, while I am here. We are all healthy, working on happy, and all things considered doing OK. We have tonight for you to fill me in on your new life, and tomorrow to fill our bellies, and revel in our holiday traditions. Be aware, the day after I will be catching up on some quality time with Morgan." Chuck suggested and informed.

Chuck noticed Clara starting to stir, so he stood and walked over to Devon. Looking down on the infant, all brown curls, blue eyes, and ruddy cheeks, his heart swelled with more love than he had felt in too long. "In the meantime, I have some baby holding to catch up on" he declared, reaching out for his niece.