I promised you all this chapter a long time ago, and I feel terrible for making you wait so long. It's the same excuse: School. I'm getting closer to graduating, so I'm taking all my core classes. The work has been rough, so please don't hate me. Break is soon. It's kind of, almost, nearly November haha.

The good news is that I've been inspired! I was fortunate enough to go to New York Comic Con last week to see THE Kishimoto Masashi-Sensei! It was his first time visiting, and the event was huge, and people were crazy, and I was emotional. It was surreal. I still can't believe I got to see him, my biggest inspiration. So I've been bragging about that, and it really made me want to start writing these fics again. I've been tired and lost motivation, so I hope I'm able to get back into things, and I hope you're ready for some Itachi filled chapters!

I just wanted to end the Gaara arc with this one and get things rolling! Arigatooo ^^

Kakashi threw out a tired arm, opened the door to his bedroom, then paused, sensing someone inside. Sucking in a breath, he entered slowly and met his guest with parted lips, shock evident in his face.

"Kokoa -" He fell quiet when she brought a finger to her lips.

"When last I looked, no one knew I was back. Is that still the case?" she asked.

"Some think you're dead, others think you disappeared," he said, gently shutting the door. "What happened? Gaara was dead and Naruto got emotional. Then you just left. Where did you go?"

"I came back here. Made it just before I collapsed. The Tsukuyomi isn't something you can just walk off." She brought a hand to her head, grimacing. "I still don't know how I even woke up from it in the first place. Even you were out for a while back then."

"There was a change of events, Kokoa. Gaara's - he's alive -"

"I know. I overheard the commotion."

"But…" The Copy Ninja took a moment to think things over. He crossed his arms with a sigh and leaned against the wall. Kokoa took a seat on the edge of the bed, hands in her lap. "It's been a few days. Have you been creeping around here?"

"Pretty much. I needed to recover without anyone knowing I was back."

"Why did you leave like that?"

"Gaara was dead. We failed the mission. There was nothing left to do."

"Kokoa…"

"He died. I failed him. I had to leave. I couldn't stand being there." She rolled her fingers into tight fists, trembling ever so slightly. "I made him a promise, and I couldn't deliver. I couldn't save him." Kakashi glanced away, knowing this was about more than Gaara.

"Well we've been back for a while now. If you knew he was alive, if you heard us, why have you been hiding? Who have you been hiding from?" Kakashi asked. "What are you planning?" He uncrossed his arms, stuffing both hands into his pockets. Kokoa looked away, eyes heavy, heart heavier.

"I'm leaving," she whispered. "I'm leaving Sunagakure. Tonight - or as soon as I can. Everyone thinks I went missing. It's for the best. I'm no longer anyone's burden. I plan to talk to Gaara tonight and leave."

"He'll just let you go?"

"He and I...have a sort of deal. As Kazekage, he can't let me leave, so he'll also claim to think I'm dead or gone. He wasn't exactly alive to witness everything anyway. I would never want to cause him trouble. I'm doing this as quick and clean as I can. I thought about just leaving, but I want to see him before I go," she said. "The last time I saw him...he was dead. I need to know he's all right."

"What are you doing, Kokoa? What now?"

"Surely you know, Kakashi-san."

"He hurt you. Tsukuyomi isn't a joke. He could have killed you -"

"But he didn't." She cut him off. "He didn't lay a scratch on me. He said he'd kill me - has been saying it all these years, but he can't do it."

"He tortured you with gen-jutsu. Tell me, Kokoa, what did you see? What did Itachi show you?" Kakashi stepped over to her. The girl kept a low gaze, bottom lip trembling at the memory, the fall of the Uchiha. Kokoa turned her face with shut eyes. "I won't accept any more bullshit answers, Kokoa. I won't let you risk your life, let you be so careless. What did you see?"

"I saw that night," she said. "I saw the massacre."

"You saw Itachi slay them?"

"Ah."

"And you're still going to go?"

"I can't deny he did it. I know he did. I've known ever since Sasuke told me. But I also know there's more to his story. I need to know why he did it. This time, I saw guilt in his eyes. I saw emotion, life. There's more, and he's desperate to hide it from me. I have to go."

"You have a life here in Suna, Kokoa. Why walk away from it all?"

"What life? Look around you, Kakashi-san? The only reason I amounted to anything in Sunagakure is because I made friends with the right person. Without Gaara, I'd probably still be in jail. The people here knew my father, but they know I was with Itachi, and that isn't something so easily looked over."

"You refuse to settle down. You're hurting yourself. It's not just other people. You could have something here, a life, peace. You could be happy -"

"Settle down? Settle down and play house? With who? Why? So I can watch everyone I care about get picked off, one by one?" She rose to her feet. Kakashi stepped back. "If I settle down, I become weak. If I'm weak, I'm useless to those who need me. I spent these three years trying to get better, to get stronger and braver to help those I loved, but I keep losing everyone! I can't hold on! Nothing's changed!"

"Kokoa -"

"I couldn't do anything for my parents, homeless and cursed. I couldn't keep Itachi-san. I lost Sasuke to Orochimaru. Gaara died when it was my job to stay by his side. Naruto is being hunted by the same people. Itachi slipped through my fingers yet again! What next? I lose you? My last real friend? I'm tired of believing things will get better in time. Tired of waiting around and watching my important people die. I'm tired of feeling so empty and useless." She let her shoulders fall with a deep sigh. "I'm tired of being alone."

"You're not useless, Kokoa."

"What have I done for you, Kakashi-san? Cause you nothing but trouble and headache. You don't need me."

"I do. You're a friend and a comrade. I've watched you grow. You're as important to me as my team is."

"You may care, but you don't need me. Just like Naruto wants to help me, but he doesn't really need me. Sasuke told me I couldn't do anything for him anymore. And I failed Gaara. The only thing I can do now is be there for the one person who does need me. The one person I promised I'd always be there for. It's time I sever my ties completely. No more dragging you guys down with me."
"What does that mean?"

"Tonight I leave Sunagakure to pursue Itachi-san on my own. Whatever happens, happens. If he kills me, so be it. If I'm right about him or by some chance I'm able to stay with him, I will. I won't be bound to a village. He is my home. He always has been."

"Do you understand what you're doing? They think you're dead now, but if you go to Itachi and word gets out, even Gaara can't help you. You'll be rogue, a wanted criminal. This move is the cherry on top, the one mistake everyone's been waiting for. It'll give Danzo reason to pursue you again. You'll be the enemy…"

"I'm not asking for your approval, for your help, or understanding, Kakashi-san. I just need you to accept it. Don't come after me. Don't let Naruto come after me. I'm running out of time. Each day, Sasuke grows stronger. I don't know what he'll become, but the hatred in his heart will push him to find and kill his brother. I need to get to Itachi-san before it's too late. I need to save him from Sasuke. Save him from himself."

"So you're going...just like that? You saw his guilt and now you're sure you can help him? There has to be more. You didn't even know about your kekkei genaki until a few years ago when you met Akihiko."

"Just because I haven't mastered it or known about it for long, doesn't mean these feelings of mine are false," she said. "Besides, it's not just my ability that's pushed me to leave."

"What then? What's so huge that you're willing to run away from this life, Kokoa? Help me understand. It's all I've ever been trying to do, is understand and help you." Kakashi fell back against the wall, arms crossed again.

"He...well he lied."

"Who? Itachi?"

"Ah."

"About what?" He eyed her.

"At the very end, he used the Tsukuyomi on me, right after Sakura tried to kill me. I got sucked into this other dimension, you know how it goes. We talked, he showed me the massacre, and right before it ended, I saw his guilt," she explained. "When he released the gen-jutsu, I should have been unconscious, and I was for a split second, but I woke up, felt him grab me by the hair and sit me up on my knees."

"You were awake?" Kakashi's arms loosened, falling to his sides.

"Yeah. I was. I'm not sure why, but I was."

"So then...what are you getting at, Kokoa?"

"Itachi said I had been under his jutsu all along. That he controlled me, I was his puppet. That he made me jump in front of him. That he made me say all of those things to you."

"And?" Kakashi swallowed hard.

"He didn't. He lied."

"Nani?"

"He cast a paralysis jutsu the first time. That was true. But when I saw you and Naruto narrowing in for the final blow, something in me clicked. I broke out of it on my own. I was not controlled."

"So that means -"
"I broke the paralysis. I jumped in front of Itachi. I was willing to take Naruto's hit, was willing to risk it all to protect him. It was my choice."

"You would have died for him? It wasn't even the real Itachi!"

"When I faced Naruto and Sakura...I would have died for him, Kakashi-san. I needed him. I had to talk to him."

"But -"

"He lied to you, told you he controlled me the entire time. Truth is, he never controlled me. He could have, but he didn't. He could have killed me, but he didn't. He lied, for my sake! Lied to protect me so you wouldn't think I betrayed you!"

"You're reading too far into things, Kokoa."

"He stopped Sakura!"

"Because he wanted to hurt you -"

"But he didn't! Sure, I saw the massacre, but I deserved it! I am alive because he wants me to be." Her expression softened upon realizing how loud she had been. "He's hiding something. Every time I see him, he cracks a little more. I can't turn my back. Not now."

"You're sure he lied? He didn't brainwash you?"

"I know Itachi-san. I grew up sparring with him. I know his techniques. I know gen-jutsu. I was paralyzed once, and then the Tsukuyomi at the very end. I'm standing here right now telling you I jumped in front of him of my own free will."

"Kokoa…" Kakashi pushed off the wall with a deep sigh and confronted her. "Why? Why do this? You won't get your happy ending, no matter how things go down. I'm not saying this out of cruelty, but in an attempt to protect you."

"I understand, Kakashi-san, but I can't die without knowing his truth, and he can't die without knowing I love him."

"So...when are you leaving? Right now?"

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to you first. You said you wanted to talk, so here we are."

"Kokoa…"

"I'm a big girl, Kakashi-san. My whole life, I've only ever wanted to be with Itachi. He was my escape...my escape from my shyness in class, from my low self-esteem, from my lonely house. He gave me so much. Taught me so much. And when he left, he took it all away." She pushed the hair out of her face. "I have nothing in Konoha. You know that. And I came to Suna for change, but nothing's changed. I'm still the same weak girl. I need to leave to sort things out. And I need to leave to get to Itachi-san."

"Your father would have done anything to see you happy, but I'm not so sure you can be happy, Kokoa," he said. Her breath hitched in her throat, something churned in her gut, and without realizing at first, Kokoa was crying. She brought both hands to her face, but the tears wouldn't stop. And then it was hard to breathe. And she shook in place, her turn to fall apart. Still worn out, she lost balance, but Kakashi caught her.

She stepped close to him, fingers pulling at his shirt, forehead pressed to his chest. She could no longer bear the ache in her chest, the tears that always threatened to spill. She couldn't bear feeling so useless and weak, a burden to all those around her. She couldn't bear the way Itachi looked at her each time they met, hiding behind cold sharingan.

Kakashi pulled her close, arms tight around her, giving Kokoa this moment to break open, holding onto her one last time. His grip tightened at that thought, of holding her one more time, wondering where it came from, wondering what it meant.

What about Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto teased. Kokoa shook her head with a smirk.

"That old man? Heh, if things were different, maybe."

"Eh! Seriously? I was joking. He's a grandpa!"

"He's not that old, Naruto. He's still got some fight in him."

"You and Sensei?" He scratched his head, trying to wrap his brain around the idea.

"He's a good friend, Naruto. He's really one of the only people I've been able to trust from the very start," she explained. Kakashi had wandered back, but kept hidden, too interested in the gossip to reveal himself just yet. "I'm glad to have him in my life. Don't worry though, I won't date your sensei."

And Kokoa wondered too, wondered just what capered in his heart. She gritted her teeth, shut it all out, and allowed herself to let go completely in the arms of the man who could have loved her if she let him.

Alone in his office, Gaara sat, chair turned towards the window. He shut his eyes at the cool breeze.

"You weren't there when I woke up," he said, voice soft, kind with a tinge of sadness.

"I didn't think you would...wake up that is," Kokoa said, just as gently. "I thought you were dead. I thought I failed you."

"I was dead." He faced her. "But you didn't fail me."

"I did. You died. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't save you. I was supposed to help you achieve your goals. I was supposed to help you find your peace."

"But I did achieve my goals. I became Kazekage. I made friends. I became someone important, proved I'm not the monster I was. You helped me, Kokoa." Kokoa kept her gaze low, shoulders up tight and stiff. "I don't think you're talking about my peace," he said. This time Kokoa shut her eyes. "What happened out there?"

"I let him get away. And I let you die."

"Kokoa -"

"And now Akatsuki is after Naruto again, and Kakashi is probably willing to risk his life to keep me safe. I'm nothing but a burden, to him and to you. You're Kazekage, not my babysitter. You're not obligated to do anything for me, yet you've always helped me out."

"Because like you, I too made a promise all those years ago," Gaara said. "I helped you because I wanted to, because I think of you as a friend. And I will continue to help you, even if it's this one final time."

"Huh?" She tilted her head at his comment.

"You're leaving, aren't you?"

"How -"

"Why else would you be here now? Why wait to see me? Why do your eyes say goodbye?"

"Hn, you might be better at reading people that I am," she said.

"I won't stop you, Kokoa, or keep you from what you want. You know that."

"No one knows I'm here, except for Kakashi-san. Everyone thinks I disappeared after you died. I plan to slip out tonight. Hopefully you can pretend you haven't seen me either, and no one will ask any questions."

"So you're going after him?" he asked.

"I have to. I want to."

"And you should, if that's what you truly want," Gaara said and stood up from his chair to walk to her. "Don't let anyone stop you. You told me not to let others label me, not to live my life for people who don't understand, who only judge. You do the same. And know that if you ever need a place to stay, I'll do what I can as Kazekage. And if you ever need someone to lean on, I'll do everything I can as your friend, Kuroki Kokoa."

"Hmm." She hummed shyly. "This must be why Naruto likes you so much. I knew there was some good in that complicated heart of yours." She poked his chest. "I appreciate all you've done, and I'm glad to see you alive and well. I wish you a long and happy future, Sabaku no Gaara. And I hope to see you're still Kazekage years from now. The paper work is terrible, but I think you can manage."

"I'll try," he said with a sigh. He held out a hand. "Sayonara, Kokoa." Kokoa stepped forward, gently folding her arms around him, laughing when he stiffened in her hold.

"Take care yourself." She stepped back, enough to catch his flustered expression before moving to the window. "Sayonara, Gaara."

"How long are you going to keep this up, Itachi-san? I'm starting to wonder about you," Kisame said. The two sat somewhere dark, somewhere cold and away from everyone and everything, because that's what Akatsuki did; lurk in the shadows and wait. Itachi, shifting on the boulder beneath him, leaned forward, a hand at his forehead. He sighed deeply. "I don't understand you anymore, Itachi-san." Kisame walked over. Itachi looked up when he rested Samehada just inches away.

"What do you mean, Kisame-san?"

"You wipe out your clan and join Akatsuki. Understandable," he said. "You leave behind this Kuroki girl because she wouldn't understand your views. She'd hold you back. Also understandable. Strangely enough, after all this time, you still love her. Even that is understandable, if she was the one person in the world who saw all of you. What I don't understand is why you're running. You're always running."

"Eh?"

"You can't walk away from her. Not permanently. You can't let her go. You love her. And she loves you. So why won't you let her be with you? Every time she gets close, you run."

"Kisame -"

"She's Akihiko's child. I don't think the man in charge would mind if we added her to the gang. Even you said she'd be a great tool to whomever she sides with. And it's obvious she sides with you, Itachi-san."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then please help me. You've been a solid partner so far, but I can't have you worrying about other things when we have missions to complete. You look pathetic whenever she gets close to you."

"She's...not like us. Tough as she may be, strong, bold, she's not like us. She wouldn't fit in. She'd be destroyed. "

"I think you already took care of that when you broke her heart, Itachi-san." Kisame laughed into his sleeve, eyeing the Uchiha. "The girl is out of her mind, willing to sacrifice herself for your clone just so you two could talk. She'd do anything you asked. I think for your sake and Akatsuki's, you should consider letting her join. You two can have your happily ever after, and we can use the extra manpower, someone who knows a great deal about some of our enemies." The swordsman pulled back his blade. "It's up to you in the end, Itachi-san. But like Sasori, others will put their eyes on her the stronger she gets. Bounties. Akihiko was a monster. No one wants to wait around for his kid to become the same."

"I won't have her here. Not with us," Itachi said. "If you're concerned about me, I'll get over it. I'll be fine in time."

"How much time? It's been years. You're never going to forget her. You think you're protecting her by keeping her away, but perhaps it's by you where she's safest." Itachi shut his eyes and brought the hand back to his face with another sigh. Kisame laughed his laugh again, but decided he had tortured his friend enough. He withdrew to his own corner to rest.

Itachi stood up, his left hand balled into a fist down at his side, his right held up, index finger pressed to his lips in worry. He knew Kokoa saw something before he cut the gen-jutsu. He knew she saw a tiny crack in the wall he spent years building. While he was trying to break her spirit, he instead instilled a new sense of hope in her heart, and he worried more than ever what she'd try next.

"Just what are you planning, Kokoa?"