A/N 1:

The story continues. Not sure what to add. My brain is spinning, writing both of these stories simultaneously. I hope you are finding this story interesting, and all the characters are believable.

A/N 2:

Don't own Chuck. Don't make any money from this. But it's better than hanging around in front of convenience stores.

Salvation – Changes

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Stephen and Mary Bartowski had been busy since their return, trying to explain everything to the CIA, The agency had given up on her and considered her MIA, but were happy to accept her back in the fold when they realized how much she had learned about the inner workings of Volkoff's world and who the players were.

Casey and Carina held down the fort, that first week, giving Chuck his space. Now they joined him in getting back to their previous routine.

After the week of personal leave to deal with his dysfunctional family reunion, Chuck was back at work, busy reviewing reports, flashing, and working on creating strategies to act on his analysis.

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Since their trips to D.C. Chuck had noticed a change in Carina. With everything that suddenly happened with his mom, he hadn't had time to reflect on it. Now that things were settling down, he had time to ponder about what was up. He didn't know if it had to do with Casey's return, or maybe something happened at one of her meetings, or maybe she saw someone while she was there. The thought gave Chuck pause, because he suddenly thought of who she must have seen, and Carina's changes crystallized in his mind.

Since she got back, she seems reserved. Carina can't help flirting, but she hasn't seriously tried to get me in bed and her touchy feely ways have been subdued. And, now that I think about it, she has been bringing Sarah into our conversations, more and more. Did she visit Sarah while she was there? Her trip stories are always light on details, nothing that could be incriminating, he smiled, but she might have reason for not mentioning That visit.

Why would she make such a deal about Sarah? Does she think I am mad at Sarah? I am saddened by Sarah, but I am not mad at her. Hurt, wounded, heartbroken, sure, but not mad. And why should Carina care, I am with her now. Sarah didn't choose me, and I can't begrudge her that now. So why would Carina have that on her mind. Oh, shit. Is Sarah coming here? Did Carina arrange for her to visit, and is wanting to make sure I don't melt down, or blow up, when Sarah gets her? Shit, shit, shit. What will I do? How am I going to feel? Am I over her? I've got to figure this out, before she gets here. And when the hell is that going to be?

Carina what are you doing here? What games are you playing? Holy crap, Carina always likes a threesome, is that what she has planned? Oh my god, is she going to bring Sarah into our bed? I can handle the random hottie, because that is a no emotion zone. But Carina and Sarah are the two women who I have very strong feelings for. Will that blow everything up?

And, do I want to share Sarah? How odd that I am worried about Sarah and not Carina. But m e and Carina's relationship was always steeped in fun abandon. With Sarah, it's about our hearts. I h ad no choice but to share Carina's body. There is no way I want to share Sarah's heart.

So, what am I going to do when this all goes down? Whoops, bad choice of words. But still, I need to figure out just what is going on.

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Casey is getting to be a better sounding board, for Chuck. Perhaps he took Chuck's big brother comment to heart. He still pretty much only answers in grunts, and is more about just letting you talk it out, rather than giving a ton of advice. Kind of like talking to your dog, if you dog grunted. But when Casey did speak, the advice was solid and not maudlin. So, Chuck shared his multitude of thoughts about his mother's return, and Casey cleaned his guns, and provided a caring ear.

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Carina was at a loss. The red haired warrior goddess, woman of action didn't know what to do. With few exceptions, Carina didn't care about other people's problems. However, Chuck was one of those exceptions. Carina expected others to handle their own problems. However, she had grown close to Chuck, and his problems were now her problems. Chuck just had one of the biggest shocks of his life, and she wasn't sure how she could help.

Carina wasn't the best at providing solutions to personal problems. Can't shoot them. She did better at providing a distraction from problems, a distraction from emotional pain, hell she could distract you from breathing. But, that typically involved a bed, or similar cushioned, flat, or nearly flat, or this is good enough, surface. And she couldn't drag Chuck to bed, for hours of distraction. Not anymore. Not since she promised her heart to try and get Chuck and Sarah back together. She couldn't bang Bartowski back to health, so the alternative is something that she had tried to suppress, tried to forget. Be emotionally available, be empathetic, and help shoulder his burden.

Sarah, where are you? This is a perfect opportunity, for Sarah to support Chuck, in a time of personal crisis. But, Carina couldn't talk to her. She had to wait until Sarah's mission was over, so they could break operational silence.

So Carina had to explore new emotional territory, new relationship territory. She had to be a platonic friend for Chuck. She had to give freely and willingly, the cuddles that might heal his heart. How do I be a friend with no benefits? It's easy, if they are one of the generic masses, whom she had no interest in. It's hard when that platonic friend is Hot, and you already know how he is able to rock your world, in bed. But she had to try for him, and for Sarah. So, Carina found herself requesting of Chuck, some snuggle time. No sex, no trying to make bases. Just clothed, chaste, emotionally bonding, cuddling.

As the old maps indicated, at the limits of their information, Here Lies Danger, Here Lies the Unknown, and into those dangerous waters of sexless intimacy, Carina sailed.

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Stephen and Mary prepare to fly to Washington D.C., to meet with the Powers That Be and plan out a future. Stephen can see that Chuck is heart sick about all he has done, and needs a talking to.

The next evening, Stephen calls for a meeting in Mary's room. Once everyone arrives, he turns and faces Chuck straight on, and looks directly into his eyes.

He bluntly states, "Chuck, I know that you have killed people."

Chuck feels like his dad had just doused him with gallons of ice water. All of his muscles clench, all breath is squeezed out of his lungs, and his stomach is knotted. His mind locks and time stops.

If he could have looked around the room he would have seen that his Mom's expression was one of sadness and care, while Casey's eyes widened with respect and, surprisingly enough, compassion. Only Carina looked unaffected by the statement, since she had been there for it all.

"You can't let it kill you." Chuck's dad held his eyes and continued. "A reality of life is rabid dogs, and it sucks to be the one who has to put them down. You didn't make bad people, and I am not wise enough to know why they exist. I just know that we have to deal with them. Thus, the saying that all it takes for evil men to succeed, is for good men to stand aside."

Stephen smiled at Chuck, reaching out and squeezing both of his shoulders. "I am proud that you never chose to stand aside. I am saddened that you had to deal with it that intensely."

He dropped his hands, the smile fading from his face, "In the Ring War you experienced the fight, first hand. You actually had to bloody your hands, to stop the enemy. And now, your analysis and advice is prompting military action. You are behind the pulling of those trigger's, too. I am a scientist and a creator. I value life. And, I have directly or indirectly pulled triggers. Hell, I've launched actual Hellfires. But, we have helped or saved many, many more lives in the process. Your help in taking down drug dealers, dictators, and warlords has undeniably made the world a better place."

"I know all of this has racked you with guilt. I can't remove that guilt, but I can try to lessen its sharpness, by reminding you that you are not alone. All of us, who have taken on the fight for good, have done harsh things, painfully necessary things, to get the job done. You have been the tip of the spear and it has made a difference." Stephen emphasized.

Stephen softened his tone, adding import to his words, "As an adult, you realize that no one's hands are truly clean. There is no nation that doesn't have blood on its hands. If you are a citizen, you implicitly support the political actions and objectives of your country, and that can often involve conflict, if not war. It's not fair for anyone to deny their complicity, and off-load guilt from the trigger pulling to our soldiers, pretending that none of the moral burden is theirs to share".

Casey was slowly nodding, appreciative of the understanding. He had taken on that moral burden many, many times over the years, in the name of duty

Lighting his tone, trying to inject some hopefulness in this somber message, Stephen pushed on, "A frustrating that part of adulthood is realizing and accepting that the world is an amazing, wonderful, screwed up place, filled with amazing and wonderful and flawed people. You can't let all the bad, which you can't fix, drive you crazy. How? By simultaneously working to improve the world. We have to deal with the world that is, while imaging, and working for a better world. There is a famous quote, that more or less says, "I don't look around and ask why, I dream of what can be and ask why not." and you work for that. That is how you keep your heart and soul, in this imperfect world."

Taking Chuck's shoulders into his hands again, he looked him directly in the eyes, "Don't let the pain of your past prevent you from having happiness in your future."

"You are an adult now, Charles Irving Bartowski, doing an important job. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and I am so, so proud of you for always leading with your heart, and doing all you can to not hurt others."

"You're Aces, Charles, Aces."

Mary's eyes were brimming with tears. Even Casey's and Carina's eyes were glistening. Chuck was crying, guilt being replaced by absolution, with every falling tear.

Chuck collapsed into his father's arms, sobbing, Stephen's own eyes producing a trail of tears down to a crooked, emotionally twisted smile. That seemed to make a difference. I hope it helps to heal his soul, he deserves to be happy.

Stephen held out his hand and pulled Mary into a 3 way hug.

Carina nods to Casey and they both leave the room, allowing the family privacy to continue their journey of healing.

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A few days later, after work, Casey pulls Chuck aside. "Hey Bartowski, you got a few?"

"Sure Case, what's up? Everything OK?"

"I don't know, is it? I know your dad's speech set you on your heels, and I imaging your brain is chewing over all of that."

A frown fell over Chuck's face as he nodded.

"So, I wanted to tell you a little bit about how I handle all of the crap we have to do in this business." Casey explained.

"Why is the world fucked up? I decided long ago that was above my pay grade. I just know that some things seem to be right and some things seem to be wrong, and I would always do the things that I thought were right. I wish the world was better, so I just try to do what I can to make the world better, and if that requires eliminating…. No, I'll own it…. killing some bad people, then that is a duty I can accept."

Casey pause, reflecting for a moment, before continuing. "So, I never had much guilt about doing what I thought was right."

"Does this viewpoint work for everyone? Don't know. Beyond my pay grade. I just know it works for me. I don't expect anyone else to necessarily see it the same way, but that's how I'm making it through this life. Maybe it is my religious upbringing, but I see things in mostly black and white and leave the gray to God."

He looked Chuck square in the face, and clearly stated, "So as far as I'm concerned, if I was your commanding officer, you would have a clean record and a clear conscience."

Chuck's breath caught. Casey putting it so bluntly brought all the related emotions right to the surface. And Casey's acquittal of his personal crimes, seemed to ease his remorse.

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As Chuck's world and world view were undergoing twists and turns, they did have routine and missions to distract them. Chuck and the analysts were always busy; their inboxes of intel always full.

Chuck had been tasked with reviewing secondary and tertiary ports around the Mediterranean, looking for possible smuggling routes that had yet to be identified. He was to then help develop best use of resources strategies to monitor criminal activity.

A port name triggered a flash. But this wasn't the old flash of a data dump, he now had flashes of insight and connections, The port name triggered an insight about a ship name and registry, which led to a connection about its owners being disreputable businessmen, which led to a connection about communications offering minimally monitored, low cost docking permits, which led to a connection about an up and coming Columbian drug cartel, looking to expand distribution.

So, Carina and Casey took a field team, to explore a warehouse district, near a small port, in France.

The success of the recon mission, with all of the other intel, led to the capture of the major players, and the shutdown of a cartel, in its infancy. If it had been left to grow, it would have led to the typical turf wars, which turned neighborhoods into warzones and got innocents killed.

Chuck was saving lives before they were even put into danger. He was saving the world, without having to be Charles Carmichael, in anything other than name.

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Ever since his dad's speech and the talks with Casey, Chuck had a greater acceptance of his past actions.

He didn't feel like he needed to hide behind Charles Carmichael anymore to deal with things. He could acknowledge his own actions.

The deaths would always weigh heavy on his heart, because he always hoped people were redeemable. But, now he better understood the reality of the situation.

As for the casual sex, that was just embarrassing. He had always envied Bryce, back in college and as a spy, for his active "social" life. But, after the first several months of trying to be a player, with a string of one night stands, he found it tiring. He found it unfulfilling.

He realized that the quiet moments cuddling with Carina were so much more fulfilling to his heart. Moments cuddling on a couch with, well with Sarah, meant so much more to him.

The one night stands were tiring, and the threesomes were just complicated, confusing, and a lot of work. He just wasn't built for that. He liked snuggling with sex, not gymnastics, or at least not too much gymnastics, the memory of Carina's flexibility filling his mind for a moment.

He was ready to move past that. He was ready to step into his own, as Chuck Bartowski, Charles Irving Bartowski, and make Charles Carmichael just a name.

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A/N 3:

Your reviews are appreciated. Let me know your thoughts about how the story is going.