And we're back! Hello, one and all. Oh, how I've missed you this week. It's been a long one, I can tell you. So... Are we ready for this?
Foreword
Afternoon all. First of all, I'm sorry that I haven't been on here in the last several weeks. I have been making a new friend, and we have been spending all of our time together. Yes, I have been hugging my constant friend – The Toilet Bowl.
It is time to announce the fact that Prick-a-doodle-doo and I have created the ultimate being. It has taken over complete control of my body and will stay here for the next six to seven months. If I wasn't trying to heave my stomach out of my mouth each morning, I would be smiling about it, but no, not yet.
As you can imagine, the constant trips to the toilet haven't left me much time to do much reading, but I have, instead, thought about something else. The lies they tell you when you're pregnant!
There is a whole host of things people don't mention to you when the spawn takes over and also way too much at the same time. I've only been in this state for a few weeks, and I've had people tell me about hemorrhoids and spotty skin, how big their boobs got and so much more. The skin I can handle, but I don't want to know about someone's bad case of piles on the best of days. And boobs? Meh, they're either there or not, I just wished they stopped throbbing with pain.
Anyhoo, my new blog posts will cover what this little alien is doing to my body, my life, and everything else. I hope you stick around, even if it just for the shits and giggles, because, you know, a baby apparently shits. A lot.
-Princess (currently twelve weeks pregnant)
Now, this story is completely written, but you know me and I always tweak. So, tell me your pregnancy stories! What horrors were you told? If I can, I'll tweak some ideas into this story.
I won't be updating every day. I know, boo, but I've got a lot of work on at the moment, so I'll be doing three-four updates a week until things calm down a little. I'll see you on Tuesday!