If someone were to ask how the hell a string and brass band formed in the middle of a Prisoner of War camp, a multitude of answers would come up.
If you were one of the German staff stationed at said camp, you automatically knew nothing, as per voluntary pledge. If you were one of the prisoners, well... you were a prisoner, what would you know? If you were a certain short man with a hot temper, you would definitely suspect a culprit already. But even then, what could you do? You already had more on your plate than a ragtime band of allied prisoners of war lead by a certain Colonel...
Such was the mysterious case of what became known as Colonel Hogan's Ragtime Band, the most premier band in all of the Luftstalags in Germany.
HH
"Tempo guys, you've got to keep tempo."
"Sorry Colonel, sometimes it seems like you're going faster than us all the time."
"Carter, maybe if you'd pay attention the beat you wouldn't be fumbling around with the ruddy trumpet."
"Hey, I've-"
"Hold it! Come on, you wanted to learn this stuff so lets commit. Now lets start again. One... two... One Two Three Four-"
The sounds of bombastic dance music could be heard all throughout camp as the newly formed Stalag 13 ensemble began to play its opening piece. Everyone knew that a deal had been made during one of the never ending dialogues Colonel Hogan had with Kommandant Klink, but usually it always went in the form of Klink either being annoyed to the near end of his nerves, or some deal regarding work being made. What had happened only a few days earlier was quite strange to even those who had witnessed the meeting.
HH
"You are agreeing to this?" Klink said with one of his most incredulous looks plastered on his face.
"Sure, why not? You know... I have always wanted to play in a big band before. Back in Cleveland I only got some small gigs, though there was that one time we played a good show in Indianapolis..."
"Hogan, I do not care about whatever happened in Indianapolis! You understand that no mistakes can be made. General von Meyer is a very influential member of the Führer's staff-"
"Who also happens to be a personal friend of yours. I get it Kommandant, you need to prove yourself to your friend. That old sense of brotherly competition runs wild with your type." Hogan grinned, having already snatched a cigar from Klink's humidor.
"Hogaaaaan..."
"Look, relax Kommandant. You'd be surprised how many people we got in camp who can play an instrument. We got one sergeant from Milwaukee who plays the harpsicord of all things!"
"Hogan!" Klink snapped, his nerves finally frayed.
"Alright alright... I'll stop bragging. Lord knows you Germans are lacking it at the Homefront right now."
"Hogan, one more word and I will throw you and your drum set in the cooler!" Klink threatened.
"Alright, fine. Now, what's the selection of music? Do we want to go for Dorsey again or something new." Hogan inquired.
"General von Meyer will have the selection set, and it will be a mix of your American music and some salon music as well."
"Salon music?"
"Yes Hogan... Salon music. You know, the things the civilized beings on this world listen to."
"Ohhhh... so First Class Music, like on a ship, right?"
"Yes Hoga-"
"You know I've always wanted to try some of that stuff. I heard the White Star Songbook had one of the best selections. Did you know they played that stuff on the Titanic as it sank?"
"Hogan..."
"We have a guy who knew one of the officers on board that night. He said that the band was playing Alexander's Ragtime Band when the iceberg struck. Could you believe that? I mean, all of those First Class passenger of the 'civilized world' sat back and drank the good stuff as the ship began to sank."
"Hogan... out!"
"Come on Kommandant, just think of it. Hey, what if we did a quintet. You can be the bandmaster, and we'll play all the pieces played on the Titanic. You can start us off and end it just like they did."
"HOGAN!"
HH
15 Minutes Earlier
Barracks 2 was in a lively state. Cards were drawn, eyes focused on the worn and faded kings and queens... a battle of epic proportions was at play.
At least, it was between Newkirk and Carter. LeBeau was busy making some food, Garlotti and Olsen were busy watching over the two card sharks like vultures, Baker was in the tunnels monitoring the radio for any messages, and Hogan and Kinch sat in silence, focused on their own battle being fought in the form of chess.
A sort of calm reigned over the Barracks, and as soon as Kinchloe was about to make a fatal move, the bunk trap door flew open with Baker climbing up in a hurry.
"We got a message from London Colonel." He said, quickly passing over the paper to Hogan.
It took a few glances for Hogan to actually believe what he was reading, but as soon as he process the information, the gears had already begun to turn.
"Oh boy... this is gonna be interesting..." He said, getting up from the table.
"What is it Colonel?" Kinch asked.
"London got word of a bigwig being in the area, and someone on his staff got in contact with them asking to defect."
"Who is it Colonel?"
"I don't know, but its someone on General von Meyer's staff." He said.
Newkirk whistled as soon as he heard that name.
"General von Meyer? Blimey this outta be a good one. I heard von Meyer was one of the more interesting persons up in Berlin?" Newkirk said.
"Why is that?"
"Well you see, this man has some interesting music tastes... not good if you're a kraut, but still good in my opinion. I heard he has a copy of the old White Star Songbook?"
"White Star Songbook? What is that?" Carter asked, a puzzled expression plastered on his face.
"You 'aven't heard of the White Star Songbook? Why, that's the music the band played as the Titanic went down. It's got some nice classics there in it, some good British compositions... and of course a few yank ones as well."
"Wait, then what's so bad about that? Isn't that just salon music?" Kinch asked.
"No no no, you see, its got some composers on it that a certain few people don't like... lets say Irving Berlin and such..."
"Ohhh, yeah... I got you."
"Hold it... hold it" Hogan cut in. "What does this have to do with getting our defector out of here?"
"Well, its not about the defector... its just some information me and the boys heard all around. I hear he also likes some big band music too. Who knows, maybe it might actually be a bit useful."
"As useful as a burnt Crème brûlée." LeBeau muttered.
Despite the misgivings of some, ironically, the timing was just right when Schultz barged in and told Hogan that Klink requested his presence. And soon after that, Stalag 13 suddenly had a brass and string band formed.
And much to the joy of both prisoners and guards, a certain resident violinist was banned from both ensembles as practice had begun within the Recreation Hall.