Sorry this is late. I've had a very rough week and it's only Tuesday :(

~ Burnt Cream and Boyfriends ~

I blink and the world speeds up. That's how I feel these days. I've got so much to do and it feels like there's no time to do it in. I've got a lot on my plate, but it's not stressing me out. It's a very strange situation to be in.

The other thing I'm trying to wrap my head around is being pregnant. I know I'm pregnant and I have the symptoms to go with it, but I don't look or feel pregnant. Very strange indeed. I'm in limbo, that's what I am.

"Bella, I don't like that I only get to talk to you on the phone. Why can't we come around or pop into the office," Mom said down the line.

"Mom, it's not going to be for forever. I've just got a huge amount on my plate right now, and it seems that as soon as I get home, I crash out. And we put a blanket ban on parents visiting the office after the Harpy Incident. Look, I'll try and pop to yours on Friday, but I can't promise anything. Edward and I have to go into the city for furniture shopping over the weekend. And let's not forget that Edward is still insisting that Dad is going to poison him,"

"Furniture shopping? I thought you had the house finished and why is he going with you? Has he moved in fully? I know it would be amazing, but I don't think your dad would be happy with that. He's barely got over the fact that he's going to be a Grandpa. I swear that aged him ten years. He won't poison your beau, but I know he did think about it. I've locked up his medicine cupboard at home, and I have the key,"

"Beau? Anyway, furniture for the new bookstore, not for home and it wouldn't be a bad thing if Edward did move in. Dad's always said that he wanted more security for me here and who better than a great hulking man who knows how to do some DIY. Not only that, but we are having a baby together, and his place is tiny." I laughed.

"And your Dad, do you want him to have a heart attack? I know you're old enough, and you also know I love Edward to bits, but living together? Do you know him well enough?"

"Mom, if I didn't know him, he wouldn't be here, I promise. He's the baby's Daddy. We can't live in separate places. We both want him to be here."

"As long as you're okay with it. I'll talk to your dad, but be prepared for him to grill you about what you're both going to do. He's already got a folder going about the cost of kids, school, and even Pre-K. We went shopping last week, and I found him in the baby section of the store, grilling a member of staff about what wood was used for a crib. Was it from a sustainable forest and was it safe for the baby to chew. What was it painted or varnished with? I swear he's going to give me a stroke one day. He wasn't even this bad with you and your brother,"

"Mom, are you saying that Daddy is getting a little excited?" I could hope, right?

"Sort of, but I think he's more concerned about how you're too young to do your own research properly, so he's doing it for you," she laughed.

"That's better than poisoning Edward. That's his fear at the moment, did I already mention that?"

"I know, sweetie. Hey, I best go, your brother has just walked in again, and I have to save him from your Dad. If he goes on once more about wrapping it before tapping it, I'm going to poison him instead,"

"Where on earth did you hear that? And will you tell him to stop tagging us in his posts? If he doesn't, I'm going to go through all his baby pictures and post them!"

"I almost had to sit on your brother the other day while your dad tried to give him a safe sex lesson. Your brother wanted to run out of the room, so I had to stop him somehow. I didn't want to be there either. Your dad got out some really scary books, Bella. Sometimes I wished that he wasn't a doctor. He knows how to satisfy me in ways I never thought possible with his knowledge of the female body, but it's freaky as hell when he gets into doctor mode and starts showing me diagrams. I think your brother is scarred for life. It wouldn't surprise me if he ended up a monk in some far distant country. I also blocked the internet for a week. He hates me at the moment."

"That is the worst form of sex education I can think of. I know about the pictures, I've seen them before, but knowing you and dad . . ."

"Oh honey, I may be old and your parent, but I'm not dead. I have urges and needs, too,"

"Eww, okay, I'm going now," I hung up the phone as I tried not to gag.

"Your Mom freaked you out?"

"You have no idea. Just be grateful that your parents aren't doctors," I grumbled.

.

"It's orange,"

"No, the couch is a burnt cream," I could hit him. I really wanted to, but I just didn't have the energy, and I needed to pee. Like really, really badly.

"It's orange,"

"Look, I know that I've bitched about men and their opinions before, but I need your help, and I'm telling you that it's burnt cream," It wasn't hard. Orange was orange. You couldn't miss it. But this couch was a darker, richer shade.

"Bella, I couldn't give a shit what color it is if I'm honest. If you don't think it's a nice color, either skip it or buy some sheets to go over it,"

"Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? I thought you wanted to be here to get out of golf," I glared at him.

"Mac probably pissed in them. I took away his humping friend this morning, and I do want to be here. I just need to get my girl head on," He should be six feet under now. Girl's head?!

"He nearly killed my plant this morning, it's not his humping friend, as you so nicely put it. And girl head, really? All I need to you to do is say yes or no,"

"It was a fake plant, Princess, he couldn't have killed it. You nearly kill me, though, with your screaming at him. What is it with him and those plants? I'll never understand him, even if I tried. So is it comfortable?"

Whiplash much?

"What?"

"The couch, Princess. Is the couch comfortable?"

"Yes,"

"Then get it." He shrugged.

"But it's not that simple. I need to measure it and make sure it fits in with everything else,"

"But your whole 'design' is for eclectic and mishmash,"

"Yeah, but I can't just go and throw everything together and hope for the best. It takes careful planning and doesn't air quote me, I'm not in the mood,"

"Clearly. Is it the hormones that's got you in this mood?"

"What a fucking question to ask in the middle of a store. No, it's not the hormones, it's you!"

"Princess, you shouted out that you had a vagina in the middle of a street to total strangers,"

"Yeah, and I had a right to do that. You don't just ask your girlfriend if it's the hormones, just because she's pissed at you,"

"You said you were my girlfriend. Are you? Oh, don't cry, I didn't mean to upset you, I promise, Princess," he cooed as I stood in the middle of the store and sniffed back snot like I had the flu while I cried.

"I'm not crying, and even if I was, it's the baby that makes me do it and because you're a prick,"

"But I'm your Prick. Your Boyfriend," he was beaming and leaned in to kiss me.

"Soooo, did you want the couch in burnt cream?" The salesman said, looking rather uncomfortable as he rocked on his feet.

"We'll take it."

.

"I'm sorry that I'm grouchy. The hormones are making me do crazy shit, and work's just taking up a lot of my time. Then you being at mine with your Octopussy hands during the night, I'm just tired and grumpy,"

"I don't have octopus's hands, do I?" He asked, looking down at his fingers.

"Oh, Prick, you have no idea. You're in a constant state of horniness, and your hands are always on me, everywhere,"

"You don't need to sound so down about it. I can always go back to mine,"

"Don't you dare! I like having you here. I might just have to handcuff you at night,"

"I thought you said you weren't into too much kink,"

"There're a few exceptions,"

"Really?"

"Be a good boy, and you might find out one day."

It's a short one, I know, but I'll post another one very soon.