Morning, all! You'll probably see some mistakes here. I'm running on about 4 hours sleep and I had to re-write some bits. And, of course, with my life being hell at the moment, we adopted a 20-week old puppy, too! Nothing like keeping it interesting, right? Arlo is a Husky cross Malamute and he's effing HUGE! He's like my very own Mac! Lol
I was in a state of complete and utter shock. I'd never seen such a sight before, and I had no idea how to deal with it.
Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me through the house and up the stairs to our room. If I wasn't so dumbstruck, I'd have thought his taking over attitude rather sexy.
"Bella, I want you to stay here and relax until I get everyone out of the house. Remember, you need to stay calm," he said, running his hands down my arms once I'd plonked my butt on the bed.
"They're in our house, Prick! They've invaded us," I whimpered a little.
"Who was that stranger down there?" Edward said, sitting next to me and grabbing my hand.
"Jessica's mom. I've seen her a few times now. Kooky as they come, but nice enough. Well, unless you start talking about pregnancies, and then she turns into the 'all-knowing' bitch from hell," I replied.
We were sat there for at least a good ten minutes before we decided that we'd face them all together, a united front.
.
"I hope to God that you didn't give any corks to Mac again," I hissed as I came out of the bathroom and glared at my mother. She was currently going through nail varnish colors, from God knows where and another empty bottle of wine was right next to her. Mac was sitting at her feet, his paw raised. One look from me and he skulked off.
Not only had my mother, of all people, brought all the parents under my roof, but also Hilda, Jessica's mom. Apparently, she had stopped by the office to see if I was there with Edward and bumped into my mom.
Could this day go any worse? She seemed like a lovely woman, don't get me wrong, but I didn't want all this crap!
"Not at all, baby girl. I made sure to keep all the snacks and corks away from him. I still remember the last time Mac came to stay, and your Dad gave him that candy bar. Do you remember? Oh, the bill that came through to clean the carpets and couch. I'll never forget it. The stench!" Mom smiled sweetly at me as she continued to paint Hilda's nails in alternating fluorescent colors.
I looked at Hilda, who looked back at me and laughed. I wanted to join in, just because this was all nuts, but the moans coming from the couch were starting to worry me.
"Mom, what have I told you about having too much alcohol? I know dad is okay with it because it keeps you somewhat quiet, but please, not around here and certainly not around Edward's parents," I whined as I went into the kitchen. I grabbed the rest of the open bottles of wine and started to pour it all down the sink.
"Now, Bella, there's nothing wrong with a little help to relax after a stressful day. Plus, your dad basically uses wine as a prescription. Something about it being good for the heart." Mom chided me from the living room.
When I walked back in, poor Edward was still standing in the same position by the door, looking completely horrified.
"Mom, enough. Not in my house, not now, not ever. We have babies coming, and I don't want them growing up to see you being such a lush!" I stressed out through gritted teeth.
I looked back to Edward as his face resembled a fish out of water and a strange noise started coming from his mouth. Christ, we'd just got over the sex issue this morning, and now he was going to have another issue with my parents. If that wasn't enough to frighten off anyone, I didn't know what else would.
I was a good girl. I had always maintained good grades, I owned my house, and I was good at my job. My father was respected in this town, and as a doctor, he should have known better, but no, he just had to let her do it.
"Where's dad?" I asked grumpily as I flopped down onto the couch next to Mr. and Mrs. Prick.
"He's out the back with Emmett and Ashley. They're trying to get her to burn off some energy for her afternoon nap. She's having none of it so far," Rose giggled happily.
Hang on, hang on, and hang on. What did mom mean about relaxing after a stressful day?
"Mom, why would today be stressful?" I asked cautiously.
"Just that being pregnant with twins is hard enough, but with you doing the renovations to the new bookstore, too, it must be stressful,"
"Plus, my son's inability to keep it under control and wants to hump you like a dog in heat. He gets that from his father. Always the horny little devil," Edward's mother crooned to her husband as she felt up his junk right in front of us all!
"No dry humping on my couch!" I hollered out as it became painfully clear that Edward couldn't cope with his horny parents. I think he was just about to start crying. Or be sick. I couldn't work out which one yet.
"Esme! No hanky panky near Bella, she'll get jealous," mom laughed, and Rose giggled along with her.
Hanky-panky?
"Oh, she doesn't need to be jealous; Edward has my big C's genetics. No reason to be jealous at all," she crooned, her eyes still shut as Edward's dad smirked against her skin.
"HEY! If I can't get laid under my roof, you sure as hell can't. DAD!" I bellowed as I stood up.
Damn fucking parents.
"What, sweetie?" He asked as I walked out of the back door and saw that Ashley was clung to his leg and one of Emmett's, causing them to do this funny three-legged walk across the lawn.
"Do you realize that mom got Edward's parents pissed beyond all recognition and that they are now dry humping on my couch while Edward has frozen by the front door?" I growled.
I knew I couldn't expect Emmett to help out in any way as he found everything hilarious, but dad could have tried to be the adult out of all of them.
"I know, sweetie, why do you think I'm out here keeping an eye on Ashley? It's not like I could actually do anything about your mom, and I really don't want to see two grown-ups humping, so I stayed out here, where it's safe," he chuckled as Emmett started to laugh.
I turned around to see what he was looking at, and I caught Rose in the window pulling funny faces at me. What the hell was wrong with everyone? I bet my blood pressure was spiking. I could feel it creep up and up.
"That's it!" I shouted as I turned back to face dad.
"Take the keys to my car and deliver the Cullen's back home and make sure you take mom with you," I growled out as I walked over to the pair of them and gently pulled Ashley from their legs.
"Ashley, I think it's time we find your mom," I said through gritted teeth and walked back towards the house.
I ignored all verbal communications as I walked through the sitting room, deposited Ashley in Rose's arms, and grabbed hold of Edward's hand. I frog-marched us to my bedroom, and we waited in silence as I heard people shuffling out of the front door.
I knew dad would have locked up the doors on his way out, so all was good. Except for Edward. He was still silent.
Should I try and slap him, you know, to try and get him to snap out of it?
Nah, I twisted his nipple instead. He yelped like a little girl and then glared at me. Oops.
"Did you know that your mother got my parents absolutely hammered while visiting today? Not only that, but Emmett informed everyone that I was on the verge of being a sex-crazed maniac! Oh, and let's add on that my parents and your parents are basically besties now," He hissed.
"Yes, that information didn't escape my notice, but at least they didn't kill each other like the last time they were in the same four walls. Thanksgiving might be a little easier than we thought,"
"I suppose there is that." He mused.
.
"Do you think anything will ever be calm and normal for us, sweetheart?" Edward asked quietly a few hours later. I took a few moments to think about it.
"No, probably not, but I'd prefer a little hectic-ness with our parents if they actually get along. Do you know what made them become best friends all of a sudden?" I asked. My eyes were getting sore with how tired I was now.
"Dad said something about your mom tearing my mom a new asshole over visitation rights to the babies. They either had to get on with each other or only see the babies once a month on a Sunday," Edward shrugged, and I was stumped.
"Mom set up visiting rights for the grandparents before they babies are even here? Now that's screwed up,"
"It is, sweetheart, but they all left here in a happy mood, so that's a bonus, right?" He laughed.
"Right."
Not the best chapter, but hey, the parents are getting along a little better now, even if it was with the help of wine.
I've decided to start reposting my stories back to the site and I'm starting with Cobblestones to Corsets. It'll probably be just one chapter a day as I don't want to overload people's inboxes with notifications. If you like period drama fics, please add it to your favorites.
Loves ya!