Five times Jesper hits on Kaz like a normal person would

by CarpeDiem14

Five times Jesper hits on Kaz like a normal person would and one time he changes his approach (with success)

Five times Jesper hits on Kaz like a normal person would

and one time he changes his approach (with success)

Prelude

Kaz hears about him on the streets of the Barrel.

There's talk of a boy, a Zemeni sharpshooter with pearl-handled revolvers, who takes on jobs for the Dime Lions and the Razorgulls to pay off his gambling debts. Normally, there wouldn't be word out on the street about some poor podge with the bad habit of losing money at the tables now and then, but this Zemeni boy is apparently piling up debts faster than he can pay them off doing whatever the Dime Lions and the Razorgulls want him to. Since word also is that he doesn't miss a target, his job description seems to be backup should negotiations or disputes turn into a firefight. So far, though, he hasn't become a member of those gangs, and hasn't taken a tattoo yet.

The moment Kaz becomes aware of the boy, Jesper Fahey, he's intrigued. He could be a possible asset, and if the guy is really as good as the word in the streets, which Kaz would have to verify himself, he doesn't want Jesper to be used against him. Apparently he was a student at Ketterdam University at some point, but Jesper seems more interested in cards than books these days.

Kaz gets his chance to watch Jesper in action one night when the Dregs are at the harbor, about to intercept a shipment of jurda the Dime Lions and the Razorgulls are fighting over like dogs over a bone. Kaz is there to take on the role of rejoicing third party while the other gangs are quarrelling, and it provides him with the perfect opportunity to watch Jesper aiming his pearl-handled revolvers at the Razorgulls. The tall and lanky Zemeni boy appears completely at ease amidst the flying bullets, dodging them left and right while laying cover fire. Each bullet hits the intended target, keeping the Razorgulls at bay and hitting an arm or a leg when they come too close. Kaz could definitely need someone who keeps a level head in a firefight, but there is more to it. Kaz can't quite put a finger on it, but he wants this Jesper Fahey for himself — for the Dregs.

It's not very difficult to press a few buttons and make sure Jesper loses quite the amount of kruge at one of the Razorgulls' gambling dens. The skirmish at the harbor ensures the Razorgulls want their money this time instead of Jesper's services, and sure enough they corner Jesper in the Barrel two nights later. It doesn't happen on Dregs' territory, but you can't have everything, Kaz supposes.

Kaz is there when it happens, and saves Jesper from the beating he's about to get by pointing out that Jesper is on the Dregs' payroll, and telling the Razorgulls where the Dime Lions are going to get their next shipment of jurda. The prospect of getting one over on the Dime Lions and the considerable profit they will make from the jurda is enough to get them to back off and consider the debt paid. Jesper is smart enough not to contradict Kaz, and once the Razorgulls are gone, Kaz tells him he has a reputation as a sharpshooter around the Barrel, and he can pay Kaz back for saving him by becoming an actual member of the Dregs.

Jesper casts Kaz a long look, before agreeing with a shrug. Kaz expected that outcome, but he had also expected Jesper to ask questions or at least hesitate. Instead, he just follows Kaz back to the Slat afterwards, taking the Dregs' tattoo on his arm that very night.

Part 1

Jesper is vibrant and flirty, and he quickly becomes popular among the members of the Dregs. He works at the Crow Club as a bouncer a few nights a week and acts as back up for Kaz personally between that.

Kaz has him prove his skills one night in an alley behind the Slat, and even though Kaz face remains impassive while Jesper shoots the bottles lined up on the far end of the alley, he is impressed. He has never seen someone shoot like that.

Jesper takes to living in the Barrel like a fish to the water, starting to wear the ostentatious barrel flash and a ridiculous high top hat within a few days. He doesn't go back to university, and soon he's best friends with Pim and Anika, laughing and joking and drinking with them.

Kaz gives him money to gamble at the club and keep the pigeons at the tables as long as possible. Jesper is decent at Three Man Bramble, but he's reckless and cocky, and therefore Kaz doesn't have to tell him to lose now and then to dangle the prospect of winning in front of the pigeons. He loses plenty on his own. Kaz considers teaching him how to get better at playing or even how to rig a deck, but Jesper's way too easy to read and Kaz can't have him trying those new skills in other gambling dens and getting shot for it. Per Haskell questions Kaz about Jesper's allowance in the club one night, but the money comes from the club and goes back into the Dregs' coffers when Jesper loses at Makker's Wheel - which he does more than he wins at Three Man Bramble - so it's a guaranteed circle more than a risky investment.

A few weeks after Kaz brought Jesper into the Dregs, they are coming back to the Crow Club from a job with a few others. The Dime Lions probably hadn't figured out how their shipment of jurda had disappeared by the time the Dregs had already been halfway back to their home turf.

Now, the Dregs are celebrating their success, and Kaz's ingenuity and cleverness that has made them a gang to be reckoned with during the last years. Kaz joins them on the floor of the club, even though he keeps to himself. He's their lieutenant, but he's one of them as well. They respect him, but they are also afraid of him. Rightly so, because should one of them cross the Dregs, Kaz will be the one to pass a swift sentence. Dirtyhands has a reputation, after all. But the triumph over the other gangs belongs as much to Kaz as it belongs to each of them, and Kaz needs them. They are his soldiers, and even though he isn't their friend — can't be their friend — he's right beside them.

Kaz sits down at the bar, gesturing to Dirix who pours him a whiskey a moment later. As Kaz takes a sip, Jesper appears next to him, leaning on the counter of the bar and giving Kaz a salute.

"Hey, boss. Your plan worked like a charm. They had no idea what hit them. It's really amazing how you come up with that kind of stuff. But I guess that's why you're the lieutenant, and we're only the foot soldiers."

Jesper winks at Kaz, all flirty looks and bright grin. But he flirts with everyone, so Kaz doesn't think anything of it. Jesper can flash a grin to someone even in the darkest corners of the Barrel, and not out of naivety but by choice. It's his way of dealing with the world. Kaz was worried at first that having Jesper next to him might threaten the shadows he had carefully crafted around him, but that's not the case. Instead, Jesper's bright and flirty manner somehow makes Kaz appear even more sinister and dangerous, and Kaz finds Jesper strangely refreshing.

Kaz feels his lips quirk slightly, and he raises his glass at Jesper's compliment. Jesper's grin widens, and it makes him look incredibly handsome. Kaz can understand why the others like Jesper so much, he's easy going and charming in a way Kaz never will be. And he can also understand why a lot of people are up for a quick tumble with the Zemeni sharpshooter — men and women alike, because Jesper doesn't seem to have a preference.

"Hey Jesper! Get over here!"

Kaz spots Anika sitting at a table with a couple of other Dregs. She waves- and Jesper looks over with a grin, waving back.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, Boss. Unless you can't part with me yet, then I'd be willing to further grace you with my charming company, of course. I'm sure Anika will understand."

Another flirty wink accompanies that statement, but Kaz knows that's just Jesper. He rolls his eyes, taking another sip of whiskey and Jesper grins again, before heading over to the others.

Part 2

It's late or rather it's early depending whether one is living on Barrel-time or the normal day and night cycle — and when he's considering such philosophical things it's definitely either way too late or way too early.

Kaz rolls his shoulders briefly, before forcing himself to focus on the documents on his desk again. The desk in his office at the Slat is actually just an old door on top of several fruit crates, but somehow it acquired sentimental value over the last two years, and he can't seem to find the time to buy a real desk. Despite the exhaustion he's currently feeling, he's quite content with doing numbers for the Crow Club. That way he has control over everything and nothing can slip past him, and saints know it would be a disaster if Haskell still insisted on doing the books. The only thing that Kaz abhors about it is that the old man actually requires Kaz to keep and update actual paper ledgers.

A knock sounds at the door and Kaz barely contains a groan, closing his eyes briefly.

"Come in," he says gruffly.

The door opens and Jesper strides in, hat askew on his head, and his leather coat flopping around his long legs.

"Hey boss, is this a bad time? Because I can come back later if it is."

Kaz is about to tell Jesper to get out of his office unless it's the Razorgulls or Dime Lions causing a ruckus, so he can finish doing these stupid books, but he pauses, letting his gaze wander over the other boy more closely. Jesper is fidgeting with one of his rings, and he looks unsure despite the grin on his face.

Kaz puts down the quill in his hand.

"What business?"

Jesper flashes him another grin, but it looks slightly off. "Ahm, well I'm not actually here about business. More like the opposite. But I guess everything's business in Ketterdam."

Kaz narrows his eyes. Jesper's rambling. He always does that when he's nervous. He's probably lost money to one of the other gangs. Kaz is going to beat him with his cane within an inch of his life if that's the case. He thought he made it quite clear that Jesper is strictly forbidden from gambling anywhere that isn't the Crow Club.

Kaz lifts an eyebrow and Jesper scrunches up his nose before giving a court nod.

"Right, getting to the point," he says, before taking a deep breath as if to steel himself. "Do you want to have a drink?"

Kaz's eyes narrow further. He's not sure what that is supposed to mean or why Jesper was nervous about it if he only came here to offer to fetch Kaz a drink. At least Jesper didn't cause Kaz problems by losing money that he doesn't have.

"I have work to do," Kaz replies curtly, picking up his quill and focusing on the books again.

"Yeah, sure. I can see that," Jesper continues. "I didn't mean right now, of course. And maybe I didn't quite ask the right question either."

Kaz lifts his gaze again. Jesper is studying him with a thoughtful look on his face. After a moment, he straightens his shoulders.

"What I actually wanted to ask is, do you want to have a drink with me?"

Kaz blinks. Then he blinks again. It's the only thing he's capable of doing while staring at Jesper and waiting for his brain to make sense of what Jesper just said.

Jesper is hitting on him.

That's never happened before. No one has ever hit on him before — not counting the lewd comments about earning his keep on his knees that he had to endure after first joining the Dregs because he is definitely not counting them. He's made it quite clear that he would not be anyone's whore by breaking several bones and as he rose through the ranks of the Dregs he has made sure that everyone knew he was not interested in anything sexual, either for pleasure or for granting favors.

Kaz stares at Jesper. The Zemeni boy has got a lot of nerve. Usually his reputation is enough to keep everyone at a distance, and new members of the Dregs get the gist of it very quickly, but Jesper loves danger. He loves flirting with it, and he loves being in the middle of it, so Kaz should have expected something like that to happen. There's no one more dangerous than Dirtyhands, after all. He will make sure that Jesper gets the message now.

"No," Kaz says, his tone not leaving room for an argument as he looks back to the documents in front of him. "You can leave now."

There's silence for a long moment, before Kaz hears Jesper's voice again.

"Right. Of course, boss."

Kaz doesn't look up as Jesper walks over the wooden floorboards to the door, before eventually leaving Kaz's office again.

Part 3

There's a light drizzle outside as Kaz makes his way from the Crow Club back to the Slat. He hates this weather. It's not really raining but not dry either and his leg always acts up when it's like this. Kaz scowls. It's late morning, just past eleven bells, and he's already in a foul mood.

Footsteps sound behind him, and when Kaz turns around, he spots Jesper catching up to him. The Zemeni sharpshooter falls in step next to Kaz, flashing him a bright smile.

"Hey, boss. I was wondering if you've had breakfast yet. I mean, of course you've had your coffee this morning, but would you like to have waffles? I could get them and bring them to the Slat. There's this amazing place just behind Goedmedbridge, and they make these waffles with sweet corn and spicy maple syrup… " Jesper's words trail off, when Kaz stops, before fixing him with a hard look. For a moment Jesper's grin falters, before returning again with full force, looking hopeful.

Kaz can't believe this guy is for real.

"No," he says in a tone that should end this once and for all. Then he resumes walking.

After a moment, hurried footsteps follow him.

"Is that a no to breakfast? Waffles are great for lunch as well. The place I mentioned is open all day. They are in a little alley between two buildings…"

Kaz grits his teeth, before turning around and slamming Jesper against the wall. Before he has time to react, Kaz has already put his cane against Jesper's throat.

"I said no, Jesper," Kaz growls.

Jesper's eyes are blown wide, and he blinks a couple of times.

"You did, boss,'' he says quietly. "But maybe tomorrow?"

Kaz does a double take, and the words take a moment to register in his mind. He can't believe it. This guy seriously has a death wish. There is flirting with danger and there is this. Kaz had thought his reputation would make it clear what happened if someone annoyed him. And Jesper is definitely annoying Kaz by now.

"No," Kaz says, again enunciating the word clearly. "Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. This is a game you don't want to play if you know what's good for you. Trust me on this."

To make a point, Kaz pushes his cane harder against Jesper's throat for a moment and Jesper draws in a harsh breath.

Kaz has no intention to actually kill Jesper if he doesn't back off, but has to make sure that Jesper finally gets the message. He's not what Jesper wants. He can't be what Jesper wants. And not because he's Dirtyhands.

After one last glare at Jesper, Kaz turns away and resumes walking. This time, Jesper doesn't follow him.

Part 4

They're in a firefight. A couple of Razorgulls have cornered them after a job at the harbor, and Kaz is getting really tired of two of the Razorgulls' lieutenants trying to determine which one of them has the bigger balls because their quarrel is getting in the way of Kaz's business.

Jesper moves around a crate, shooting at their attackers. A grunt follows, but Kaz can't quite figure out which direction it came from. He's shooting as well, before ducking behind the crates they are using for cover again.

"You know, boss, since we have nothing better to do at the moment, and you've made it clear last time that you are not one for waffles or drinks, we could do this again sometime. I'm starting to really feel a connection between us here, you know what I mean?"

No, Kaz doesn't know what he means, and he can't believe what he's hearing either. They are in the middle of a firefight!

Ducking as more bullets strike the crate, Kaz whips his head around to glare at Jesper, who is taking cover a few feet away. He has both of his revolvers in his hands, eyes sparkling from the thrill of the fight. He has never looked more vibrant or more handsome.

But that doesn't change anything. Kaz has learned his lesson with Imogen.

"If we somehow manage to survive this, I'm going to shoot you myself," Kaz growls.

To his surprise, Jesper grins. "See? That's what I'm talking about. There's nothing like a gunfight to really feel the love."

Then he moves around the crate he has been hiding behind and starts shooting. The Razorgulls drop left and right — and some of them are not standing necessarily in the direction Jesper is shooting in.

Part 5

They do survive, but Kaz doesn't shoot Jesper.

Mostly because he's too busy clearing up the mess that is the Razorgulls these days. He has his own gang to manage, thank you very much, but thankfully after two weeks the Razorgulls' internal fighting is done with, and Kaz has placed a new spy within their ranks. He counts that as compensation for all the trouble he had to endure.

The downside is that Kaz operated on no more than two or three hours of sleep the entire time, and now that everything's going its merry way again, he's about to keel over.

He's in his bedroom at the Slat, unbuttoning his vest, when a knock sounds on the door to the attic.

"What?" he barks.

The door opens, and footsteps sound on the floor. Groaning, Kaz walks through the door into his office.

It's Jesper, and even though Kaz glares at him, Jesper puts on a smile.

"Hey, boss. Roeder told me to tell you that Boeddeker has apparently had an argument with his wife and is still working in his office." Jesper gives a shrug. "Whatever that means."

Kaz knows what it means, and it means that the merch is not going to visit his mistress tonight, and as a result of that Kaz can therefore get more than two hours of sleep tonight.

He nods. "Tell Rotty to keep an eye on Boeddeker and if there's nothing urgent, I don't want to be disturbed until the sun comes up."

"Sure boss, will do," Jesper replies without missing a beat.

Kaz shrugs off the vest, starting to undo the buttons of his black shirt as he walks back towards his bedroom. There are no other footsteps audible on the floor, however, and that means Jesper is still there. His assumption is confirmed when Kaz stops again and looks up.

"Is there something else?"

Jesper looks at him, licking his lips before answering. "Ah no. No."

He's not moving though and Kaz raises an eyebrow.

"Well, you haven't shot me yet", Jesper begins, trying hard to sound casual as he hooks his thumbs in his gun belt. "And even though I love a good firefight, maybe there is something else you might consider doing while spending time with me, because I find that guys shooting at us makes it hard to have a conversation, and it doesn't provide a lot of opportunities for getting closer to each other either."

When he realizes that Jesper is hitting on him — again — Kaz shakes his head in amazement and disbelief. He has no idea what Jesper is seeing in him, but this is getting ridiculous. It has to stop, and scaring Jesper off is apparently not working.

"There will be no conversations and no getting closer to each other", Kaz says in a quiet voice. "I'm your boss and that's all I will ever be."

He gives Jesper a long hard look, hoping that Jesper's finally going to get it into that thick Zemeni skull of his that there can never be anything happening between them.

But Jesper isn't moving, instead his brows are furrowing. "Why?"

Kaz glares at him, gritting his teeth. "I don't need a reason, Jesper. And now leave."

He turns around, closing his eyes, waiting for footsteps on the floor. They don't come.

"Well, you see, but I kind of do need a reason," Jesper says quietly. "I want to understand at least. I can deal with you not being interested in boys…" he trails off again and Kaz snorts.

He can't believe he's having this conversation with Jesper.

"I can't be what you want," Kaz says without turning around.

It hurts, but it's the truth. An ugly truth, but one he has come to accept.

Of all the reactions Kaz could have gotten from Jesper, this one he didn't expect. Jesper laughs. Not a real laugh, but more like a sad laugh.

"You don't know what I want."

Kaz spins around, brows furrowing.

Jesper shrugs. "Sure, I'm flirting with everyone, and I'm not opposed to a quick tumble to have some fun, but that's not what this is."

Kaz shakes his head. "And I'm telling you it doesn't matter," he growls, but Jesper doesn't back off.

"Is it because of the gloves?"

Kaz grits his teeth harder, averting his gaze and looking at a spot on the wall. He wishes Jesper would just knock it off and leave.

"I'm not stupid," Jesper continues thought. "I've realized that you don't touch people, and that you don't tolerate them touching you."

He states it as a fact, not like something shameful or weak that he feels sorry for Kaz for. That makes it better, but it still doesn't change anything.

"You already have your answer," Kaz grumbles. "I advise you to leave it at that."

He's still not meeting Jesper's eyes, and he's not sure what he's going to do if Jesper continues to push him. He doesn't, however. Instead, Jesper turns around and leaves Kaz's office.

Part +1

JESPER

Jesper has never been one for taking advice, not even when it's good advice — especially not when it's good advice. The alternative always seems more thrilling than doing the sensible thing. And Jesper loves the thrill. He loves playing with fire because the thrill of getting burned always makes his blood sing, and it shifts everything into focus. It quiets his restless mind and gives him clarity. That's why he feels the most alive and the most certain of himself when he's in the middle of a gunfight, bullets flying all around him.

But Kaz is different. Sure, there's a thrill because Kaz is certainly dangerous, but there's more. Jesper trusts him, no matter how bad an idea that is, and he respects him, which is something not many people have earned in Jesper's life. Kaz is brilliant, and Jesper trusts no one else to get him out of a tight spot or a hopeless situation. Kaz also fascinates Jesper to no end. He makes his blood pump faster, and Jesper wants nothing more than to be the center of Kaz's razor-sharp focus for once. Sure, Kaz is always taking care of his Dregs, occasionally even joking with them, but he keeps to himself, and not only because he is their lieutenant. Jesper wants to be the person Kaz trusts more than anyone else, and he would do anything for that.

The problem is that Kaz has made it clear to Jesper that he isn't interested in what Jesper is offering. At least that is what Kaz wants him to believe. Jesper suspects the opposite, but Kaz is denying himself and denying Jesper in return because Kaz is convinced for some reason that what Jesper is offering is something he can't have. Or more like what he thinks Jesper is offering. To be honest, Jesper isn't entirely sure himself what he's offering. Probably whatever Kaz would let him get away with.

It all seems to come back down to those gloves and the myths that surround them. Kaz has hideous scars, his fingers are permanently stained with blood, Jesper has heard all the rumors around the Barrel, but he believes none of them. Blood isn't ink, no matter how hard it is to wash off, and as for the scars, Kaz isn't vain, so Jesper knows it isn't that either. Kaz's black suit, the vest, and his coat are all carefully crafted to form an armor around him. The gloves are part of that as well. They have been constructed and cultivated to form up the reputation of the Bastard of the Barrel, but Jesper is pretty sure there's a story behind them. Something personal that Dirtyhands keeps close to his chest.

Jesper has noticed that Kaz doesn't voluntarily touch people. Of course, there are handshakes and fights, but apart from that Kaz doesn't touch anyone. Ever. Maybe the others don't notice it because they're too intimidated by Dirtyhands, but Jesper is a very tactile person, and he notices when someone is not. The only logical conclusion is that Kaz is wearing the gloves as protection against touching someone skin to skin. Jesper doesn't know why Kaz does it, but he knows one thing: Kaz hates it. He loves the protection his gloves offer, but at the same time, he hates the weakness he can't seem to overcome. Whatever it is, Jesper wants to help him conquer it. Just as he helped Kaz conquer more and more of the Barrel during the last six months. Haskell might be the leader of the Dregs, but Kaz is Jesper's boss, and he will follow him wherever he leads and risk his life gladly for Kaz's great plan. Because Kaz always has a plan, and it's usually great. Jesper doesn't need to know the details because he belongs to Kaz to use as he sees fit. Because Jesper never does things halfway. When he takes a risk, he goes all in, and that's what he did with Kaz as well. When he took the Dregs' tattoo he became Kaz's soldier, and every day since then he fell for him a bit more. The problem, apparently, is to make Kaz see that Jesper is more than his soldier. That he wants to be more than Kaz's friend. He needs to show Kaz that he belongs to him. Jesper has been holding something back, though, and he needs to find a way to change that in order to prove his commitment and loyalty to Kaz.

Jesper gets his opportunity a few days later. A skirmish with a few Black Tips who think they can make a bid for Fifth Harbor once again requires that Kaz deal with it personally. Jesper had a shift at the club that night, and when the others came back, Anika told him that Kaz's cane broke in two pieces. Apparently one of the Black Tips had ducked, demonstrating surprising agility, and Kaz's cane had struck a metal beam instead of the guy's head. Upon making contact with the beam, the unthinkable had happened, and Kaz's cane had broken in two.

Jesper knocks on the door to Kaz's office in the attic of the Slat later that evening, and Kaz's gruff voice tells him to come in a moment later. After entering, Jesper immediately spots the two parts of the cane lying at the front of Kaz's makeshift desk. Kaz is sitting over several papers, only glancing up briefly as Jesper closes the door behind him.

"What business, Jesper?"

"Heard you were back and that your cane broke," Jesper replies, trying to sound casual despite his nerves.

Kaz makes a displeased sound. "It was crafted by a fabrikator but apparently not even fabrikator made items are indestructible."

Jesper reaches for the cane, causing Kaz to look up sharply. Taking a deep breath, Jesper ignores him. He holds the two pieces together and concentrates, reaching for his power and telling the particles to mend back together. It takes several long moments, and a trained fabrikator probably could have done it a lot faster, but Jesper has to make do.

Finally, the fissure is closed, and the cane is whole again. He puts it back on Kaz's desk, before forcing himself to meet Kaz's gaze.

Kaz doesn't look surprised, however.

"You knew," Jesper realizes, and he can't keep the accusation out of his voice.

Kaz shrugs. "Suspected," he says.

"How?"

Jesper is careful, and he usually doesn't use his powers at all.

"A few of the shots you took during that fight with the Razorgulls had no business finding their targets, considering the direction you were firing in."

Jesper stares at Kaz completely baffled by that answer.

"You think I was manipulating the bullets to find their targets?"

Now Kaz looks surprised and he raises an eyebrow. "Didn't you?"

"No! I mean, at least I don't think I did."

Thinking about it now, however, maybe he actually did. Aim with your heart, his mother had always said, and Jesper usually did just that. But maybe he wasn't aiming with his heart at all, but with his powers instead. That would finally explain the mystery why he was never sick because that's what he heard happens when grisha don't use their powers.

"Huh," Jesper finally says. "I guess I did use my powers to aim."

Kaz casts him a long look, before shaking his head with the barest gesture, and Jesper feels like an idiot. Kaz realized what he was doing before he himself did.

"Is there anything else?" Kaz asks, already looking at his papers again.

Jesper swallows, not moving from his spot in front of Kaz's desk.

"Yes, there is actually." Jesper swallows, before he continues. "You said you couldn't be what I want, and I told you that you didn't know what I want, so I thought I should tell you what I want. It's pretty simple, really. The moment I took that tattoo, I became yours. Sure, it's the Dreg's tattoo, but as far as I'm concerned, I belong to you. So I will take whatever you can give me. Whatever that is."

KAZ

Kaz raises his head, looking up at the mystery that is Jesper Fahey standing in front of his desk and offering him… what exactly? Kaz already owns his life and his guns, and in the Barrel that means his soul as well, so he assumes Jesper is offering him his body because who would offer his heart to a monster like Dirtyhands?

The look in Jesper's gray eyes tells Kaz, however, that that's exactly what the Zemeni sharpshooter is doing, and Kaz can't deny that someone offering himself up like that to him isn't incredibly intriguing. Dirtyhands sees a pawn to use however he sees fit, the Bastard of the Barrel sees a soldier to do his bidding, but Kaz sees something else. He sees a person trusting him willingly, and therefore maybe someone Kaz could trust in return. He knows that there is no such thing as trust in the Barrel though. There are deals and obligations, sure, but you can't trust anyone except yourself. Kaz learned that lesson early on. Everyone is looking out for themselves, and nothing is for free.

Kaz can't quite imagine, though, what Jesper would be getting out of this, and that boggles him. Jesper already has the security of the Dregs, and Kaz protects those who are loyal to him. This has to be something different then. Jesper said he belongs to Kaz, that he's giving himself over to Kaz for Kaz to use or not to use at his discretion. Kaz's mind jumps to the possibilities of that immediately, dissecting what Jesper is offering. It wouldn't be a relationship with mutual expectations and rules, but rather an offer for Kaz to take control. Kaz knows how to do that, and he wants it.

He stands up from his chair, before walking around the desk and stepping right in front of Jesper. He has to look up a bit because Jesper is slightly taller than he is. For a long moment, Jesper returns his gaze, then he sinks down onto his knees in front of Kaz.

A spark of exhilaration runs down Kaz's spine as he sees the tall, lanky frame fold, and finally Jesper settles at Kaz's feet, still gazing up at him. Jesper is not wearing his trademark leather coat nor his hat today, but Kaz doubts that Jesper flapping his coat back first before kneeling down could have made this any more impressive.

Kaz reaches out, running the fingers of his gloved right hand through Jesper's hair. He has no problem with touch as long as he's the one doing the touching, and he's wearing his gloves. It's being touched, the feeling of skin on skin, that lets the waters rise.

Gripping Jesper's hair, Kaz arches his head back a little, and Jesper gaps for breath, his lips parting slightly. The sight is breathtaking, and stirs a longing deep inside Kaz. It's not sexual, not really. The idea of someone touching his bare skin during a sexual act isn't something he wants to think about, but having someone else completely at his mercy, willingly, showing that kind of trust — even though the mere idea of someone in the Barrel doing that is still ludicrous — is intoxicating.

Kaz watches Jesper's face, riveted as he lets his fingers wander lower, his thumb grazing Jesper's lower lip, before settling around Jesper's throat. Again, Jesper's breath hitches, but he doesn't move an inch, and his pupils dilate. Kaz can feel Jesper's rapid pulse underneath his fingers, and he can feel the warmth radiating from him, even through the thin leather of his gloves. Jesper's enjoying this, revelling in it, and getting aroused by it if the bulge in his pants is any indication. Kaz wants to know how far Jesper is going to let him go — probably very far if he was honest about belonging to Kaz, and taking whatever Kaz is willing to give him.

Kaz is no stranger to sex. That's not possible in a place like the Barrel. Sex and every sexual act imaginable are a form of currency on the streets of East and West Stave, and people don't restrict themselves to pursuing their desires or transactions behind closed doors. Kaz has seen it all over the years, and he has lost all sense of modesty long ago between living on the streets, getting arrested, and being in close quarters with the other Dregs during his rise through the gang's ranks.

His aversion to touch on bare skin had always been stronger than his sexual desires, though, so he was never tempted to find a way to fulfill them. Except with Imogen, but that hadn't gone very well. Later on, letting someone in, even on his terms, was simply too risky, and could become a weakness, a threat to his plans to bring down Pekka Rollins. But maybe he could have this nevertheless, could have Jesper in ways Kaz had never let himself imagine before. Sure, Jesper's gambling addiction is a problem, and it makes him vulnerable to being blackmailed, but he's also loyal to a fault, and proving it right now by being on his knees in front of Kaz, offering to let Kaz do whatever he wants without something in return. At least not something tangible, just Kaz's attention and appreciation. And as far as Kaz can tell, Jesper doesn't do it to gain anything in return. He's just doing it for the sake of it, and probably for the thrill of being with one of the most dangerous people in Ketterdam. Because Jesper knows exactly how dangerous Kaz is. He has seen it with his own eyes as a member of the Dregs. Jesper could chase his pleasure throughout the Barrel without a problem, but he has chosen Kaz, and he has been pursuing this goal quite persistently.

Time to reward that persistence.

JESPER

Jesper looks up at Kaz, completely riveted by the expression in those dark coffee eyes. There's something glinting in them. Something dangerous that sends a thrill down Jesper's spine, and a spark of pleasure down to his groin.

Kaz's grip around his throat loosens slightly, his thumb stroking Jesper's jawline. The gloves are soft on his skin, and the touch makes him shiver.

"Do you think you can handle my undivided attention?" Kaz asks, in his raspy voice that's somehow even raspier right now.

Jesper gives a barely perceptible nod, licking his lips.

"Yes, boss," he answered quietly.

Kaz continues looking at him.

"Mm," he muses. "We'll see."

That sends another spark of pleasure and anticipation to Jesper's lower regions, and he takes a shaky breath.

Something in the back of his brain tells him that this was a phenomenally stupid idea, though, and that he has no idea what Kaz might do to him. He could be getting off on all kinds of things, and Jesper has certainly heard more than a few horror stories around West Stave. Things that are beyond sick, and you don't need to touch someone skin on skin to beat them to a pulp. But Kaz has never enjoyed cruelty like some men and he's never lost control of himself, and as stupid as it sounds, Jesper feels safe on the floor of Dirtyhand's office with the Bastard of the Barrel's fingers around his throat. Something is seriously wrong with him, but he doesn't want to think about that right now. Not when he is finally the center of Kaz's attention, and the other boy is looking at him like that.

That small part that is Jesper's self-preservation makes him swallow, though, and Kaz must see something in Jesper's eyes because suddenly the soft touch of leather on his jaw disappears, and Kaz's face closes off.

Stepping away, Kaz averts his gaze. "This was a stupid idea," he growls, and Jesper is on his feet in an instant, his knees protesting after kneeling on the hard floor.

"No! I'm sorry!" Jesper says hastily. "My mind is just very good at creating horror scenarios sometimes, you know? Not that I would actually think you would be into something horrible like strangling me or carving me up during sex or something like that."

Kaz's head whips around, and he stares at Jesper, his brows furrowing. After a moment, he snorts, the expression in his eyes hard.

"Why not? I'm Dirtyhands, after all."

Jesper makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Yes, but you don't enjoy it, and I can't imagine you getting off on violence."

"Are you so sure about that?" Kaz says, his voice barely audible.

Jesper shakes his head in disbelief. "Yes! I am! And why am I the one reassuring you right now?"

"I don't know, why are you?!"

Jesper doesn't know what to say, so he takes a deep breath to order his thoughts.

"Alright, I'm stupid. I can't help it. I still mean what I said earlier, though. That I belong to you. As long as that doesn't involve me getting murdered during some sick and sadistic sex act."

Kaz rakes a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. For a moment, Jesper thinks he might have ruined everything. Normally, Kaz relies on people thinking the worst of him, but somehow it's bothering him what Jesper thinks, and Jesper suddenly realizes what kind of power he apparently has over Kaz.

"I'm sorry, boss," Jesper says softly. "I do trust you. And I would be totally on board with you punishing me for making crazy assumptions. I had quite a few fantasies involving me being bent over your desk... If that's a no to murdering me in a crazy sex act, that is."

Jesper winks to lift the mood, and Kaz rolls his eyes, shaking his head. Apparently it does the trick, and Jesper takes a step backwards until he bumps into the desk. He leans back against it, hoping to appear enticing.

Kaz studies Jesper for several long moments before stepping closer again. Jesper watches him, not breaking eye contact, waiting for what Kaz will do. When he's nearly touching Jesper, he stops. After another long moment, Kaz lifts his eyebrows.

"Turn around," he says quietly, and Jesper knows that it's a test to see if he actually trusts Kaz the way he said he does.

He flashes Kaz a brief — and he hopes playful — smile, before turning around and facing the desk. He almost startles when he feels a hand on the upper half of his back, and he draws in a quick breath. Kaz pushes him down, and Jesper does not resist, leaning forward until his chest is resting on Kaz's desk. He wonders what Kaz is going to do, but he did make an offer earlier. Saints, he hopes Kaz is going to do exactly that. A groan escapes Jesper, and he hears a brief low chuckle from Kaz.

"Something tells me you told the truth about having fantasies about that desk."

Jesper laughs softly. "You have no idea, boss."

He feels a little pathetic, being bent over Kaz's desk like that — waiting for what Kaz might do, but strangely that only adds to his arousal.

"Put your forehead on the desk. Hands flat on the surface next to your head."

Jesper obeys immediately, moving his head, before putting his palms flat on the wooden door.

"Don't move."

"Yes, boss."

"I'm going to lay out some ground rules," Kaz continues. "You will answer me, so I know you understand."

"Yes, boss," Jesper says immediately.

"Good. First, you won't touch me without being ordered to do so. Ever."

"Yes, boss."

"Second, do you know what a safeword is?"

Jesper blinks for a moment, but he answers quickly. "Yes, boss."

"Good. I have no desire to harm you physically or mentally. You are not a whore nor an indentured servant, and even if you were, I wouldn't force you to do anything you don't consent to. So let's keep it simple. Your safeword is safeword. Repeat it."

"My safeword is safeword," Jesper repeats dutifully.

He hadn't anticipated Kaz giving him a safeword, but he assumes it makes sense. Jesper has seen Kaz's mood sour every time he visits Tante Heleen to buy information from her, and he's heard the story about one of the Dregs having beaten a girl from the White Rose bloody once, and Kaz bashing the guy's head in with his cane afterwards. Per Haskell had been furious. Some had thought Dirtyhands' swift and cruel punishment had been due to the fact that a Dregs' member hurting a girl from the White Rose was bad for business with the brothel, but Jesper had always suspected that there was more to it. Jesper should have known better than to assume Kaz might get off on hurting people during sex, but fears sometimes weren't reasonable.

"Third, if I hear you bragging about this to anyone inside or outside the Dregs, you won't wake up again the next morning. Are we clear?"

"Crystal clear, boss."

Jesper had no intention of telling anyone about this, and he certainly wouldn't have gone out into the Barrel telling people that… what exactly? He belongs to Dirtyhands? He is a member of the Dregs, so that's a given anyway. That he tamed the Bastard of the Barrel? More like the other way around. That he got fucked by Dirtyhands? If it ever came to that. No, he wouldn't tell anyone anything.

"Very well, then," Kaz continues. "You said something about having fantasies starring you bend over my desk. Was that what you had in mind?"

A shiver runs down Jesper's spine. "Uh huh."

"Who am I to disappoint, then?" Kaz asks, and there's something suggestive in his voice that makes Jesper squirm. "Though if I punished you for doing something stupid we would never get anything else done. What I will punish you for, however, is pestering me with your flirting the last few weeks."

"Hey! But it worked in the end!" Jesper complains, and he's already pushing himself up with his hands, when Kaz grabs his hair and pushes him back down.

"I told you not to move," Kaz growls, gripping his hair tighter, and Jesper honest-to-Ghezen whimpers in response. "And now we have another offense to punish you for. When I tell you to do something, you do it."

Jesper swallows. "Yes, boss," he gasps, before putting his palms flat onto the desk again.

"That's better," Kaz murmurs, and a moment later Kaz steps forward.

Jesper tenses in anticipation, but the next thing he feels are Kaz's fingers opening his gun belt that is holding Jesper's prized pearl-handled revolvers. There are not many people Jesper would allow to remove his guns without asking first. Actually the list starts and ends with Kaz, if Jesper thinks about it now.

Kaz puts the revolvers on the desk on top of a stack of documents in Jesper's line of sight. Jesper is practically vibrating with anticipation of what Kaz will do next, but he forces himself not to move, and to keep his hands flat on Kaz's desk. He can be patient, and he can obey orders. He's going to show Kaz how good he can be, and he'll take whatever Kaz is going to dish out.

KAZ

Kaz surveys Jesper bent over on his desk next to his paperwork, and the sight of the tall Zemeni gunslinger obediently awaiting Kaz's next move is breathtaking. Jesper let him remove his pearl-handled revolvers without resistance, showing Kaz that he does trust him. At least with his revolvers and his life, but Kaz had already known that much. The rest seems to be more difficult for Jesper, and Kaz can relate to that. That's part of the reason he deposited the revolvers on his desk within Jesper's reach rather than on the floor. Not that Kaz has any intention of doing something that would warrant a safety net, but Jesper doesn't know that.

Kaz knows that Jesper anticipates a spanking due to the position he's in, but that's not what Kaz has in mind. He has no desire to hurt Jesper, and he doesn't enjoy causing pain. Violence and torture are the tools of his trade, and he wields them in order to achieve his goals. There is satisfaction and gratification in hurting someone who has wronged him, and seeing them suffer satiates his desire for revenge. If Jesper ever wants Kaz to hurt him because he gets off on it, Kaz isn't opposed to that, but for now he will make Jesper suffer in a different way.

"Take your right hand off the desk and open your trousers," Kaz orders.

Jesper does as he's told. After he moves his hand between the desk and his body, Kaz hears the rustle of clothing as Jesper opens the button of his trousers.

"Take your cock out, and touch yourself."

This time Jesper hesitates, clearly not having anticipated that. After a moment, however, he complies, and a hitch in his breath tells Kaz when Jesper's fingers have reached their goal.

"I want you to stroke yourself for me."

Jesper groans and his hand starts moving, the muscles in his arm flexing.

"I thought this was a punishment," Jesper says breathlessly, moaning at the end of his words.

"We'll get to that," Kaz promises with a little smile. "And you better keep quiet or some of the others might barge in here to see what I'm doing to you."

Jesper moans again, but it's an empty threat and they both know it. No one comes barging into Kaz's office without knocking and waiting for a reply, except Per Haskell, but he would send someone because he can't be bothered to walk up the three flights of stairs himself.

The idea of being found with his hands around his cock, bent over Kaz's desk, seems to be adding to Jesper's arousal, just like Kaz suspected. Jesper loves showing off, and this, apparently, is no exception.

"Faster," Kaz orders, eliciting another moan from Jesper, but muffled this time. Jesper seems to be biting his lips to keep quiet.

Kaz could listen to Jesper's moans all day, knowing that he's the one causing Jesper to make such noises at his command. It's intoxicating to watch Jesper tremble as his breathing becomes faster, and he's nearing his climax. Only when Kaz thinks Jesper is close does he issue his next command.

"Stop, and put your hand back on the desk."

Jesper makes a broken sound in the back of his throat, and his back becomes rigid. After a moment he obeys though, taking his hand off his cock, and forcing it back onto the desk.

Kaz allows himself a satisfied smile, before walking around his desk and sitting back down on his chair. He reaches for his quill again, not bothering to dip it into the ink, just scratching it over some random piece of paper.

Jesper takes a deep and shaky breath, before slumping on the desk, finally understanding what his punishment actually is.

Kaz lets him squirm for some time, before putting his quill aside.

"Again," he simply says.

Jesper takes a deep breath, before moving his hand. When his fingers close around his cock this time, he whimpers, hips moving forward to fuck into his hand under the desk.

Kaz sees him trembling in front of him, chasing his release and hoping that he's going to get it this time. That would be too easy, though.

"Stop," Kaz orders again, and Jesper curses.

"Fuck! Fuck boss, please!" he begs, but Kaz isn't having it.

"I said stop!" Kaz growls, before reaching for his cane, lifting it and letting the tip strike the desk next to Jesper's head.

Jesper flinches, but he doesn't move except for letting go of his cock, and putting his hand up to show Kaz that he's obeying. He's breathing heavily as he puts his palm flat on the desk again.

Kaz stands up, the tip of his cane still on the table. He grasps Jesper's hair with his left hand, forcing his head up.

"When I tell you to do something, you do it without hesitation."

Jesper swallows before trying to nod, which is hard with Kaz gripping his hair.

"Yes, boss."

Kaz tilts his head. "Let's try this again, shall we?"

Jesper groans, and Kaz lets go of his hair. Putting down his cane flat onto the desk, Kaz sits back in his chair.

"I want to see you this time. Stand up."

Jesper does, and Kaz gets a good look at his erect cock hanging - or more like standing - out of his open trousers. Jesper licks his lips, suddenly coy, but Kaz doesn't give him too much time to think about being on display.

"Go on, put your hand back on your cock."

Jesper swallows nervously again, but the moment he starts touching himself, his eyes fall closed, and he bites his lip to keep quiet. His fingers move up and down, paying special attention to the head of his cock each time. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, and there's moisture forming on his forehead. He looks absolutely gorgeous in his pleasure and desperation. And all of this is for Kaz.

"Stop," Kaz says again after some time and — maybe it's easier because Jesper didn't have any hopes of actually finishing this time — Jesper takes his hand off his cock immediately, sucking in a harsh breath.

After a moment, Jesper opens his eyes, gazing at Kaz. His pupils are dilated, his eyes nearly black, and his cheeks flushed despite his dark skin tone.

Kaz nods once. "Good," he says, and a happy smile appears on Jesper's lips.

Kaz will have to praise him more often if this is the smile he gets in return. He just can't let it get to Jesper's head.

With his good leg, Kaz pushes his chair back from his desk, letting his legs fall open.

"Come here."

Jesper walks around the desk, his gait a bit awkward with his cock still out of his trousers, but it's just a few steps.

"Sit down on my left leg. Slowly."

Kaz leans back on his chair, watching Jesper as he steps closer, before carefully lowering his weight on Kaz's thigh. He sits with his legs astride, supporting himself with his feet and the floor on either side of Kaz's leg.

"Put your left hand behind your back, and then resume jacking yourself off."

Jesper licks his lips, his eyes focused entirely on Kaz as he does as he's told. When he starts stroking his cock again, though, his eyes close, and a muffled moan falls from his lips.

"Look at me." At Kaz's command, Jesper's eyes snap open again, and although his eyelashes continue to flutter, he keeps his eyes open.

Kaz lets himself enjoy the sight of Jesper in front of him, jacking himself off at Kaz's command, and he finally allows himself to think about his own desire. His cock has been hard for some time now, straining against his trousers, but so far Kaz has denied himself as well in favor of watching Jesper. Now he moves his own hand to his groin, opening his trousers. He slips his gloved hand inside and starts stroking himself through his briefs.

When Jesper sees what Kaz is doing, he moans, trembling, before biting his lips.

"Please, boss. I can't… I'm so close!"

A spark of pleasure runs through Kaz at hearing Jesper ask for permission to come. For a brief moment he's tempted to tell him no, just to see if Jesper will obey, but he's not that cruel, at least not today, and he's desperate to finish himself.

"You can come," Kaz rasps, and Jesper's breath catches in his throat with a high sound. A moment later, he draws in a sharp breath, his body becoming rigid as he comes in his own hand and across Kaz's trousers.

Seeing Jesper practically coming at his command is the last straw Kaz needs, and he's coming as well.

JESPER

Jesper watches, riveted, as Kaz reaches his climax with a low groan, his eyes closing and his lips parting slightly. He looks absolutely gorgeous, and Jesper can hardly believe that he gets to see Kaz like that because he's pretty sure that Kaz has never invited anyone into his bed nor paid for services of that kind. It's an incredible feeling to know that he's the only one who gets to see the Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands, letting his guard down, and he vows to himself that he would never ever betray Kaz's trust.

When Kaz opens his eyes again, his gaze is hazy with pleasure. Once he focuses on Jesper, however, the barest hint of a smile tugs at Kaz's lips, and Jesper will do anything to make Kaz look at him with this smile as often as he can.

Their eyes meet, and somehow it was easier to hold Kaz's gaze when Jesper was caught in pleasure, and chasing his release. Said release is now drying on his fingers and his cock, as well as staining Kaz's trousers, and that makes Jesper squirm uncomfortably.

"I ahm… I think I made a mess of your trousers, boss," he says, flashing Kaz a cocky grin to hide his embarrassment.

Kaz snorts, shaking his head as he pulls his gloved hand out of his trousers. Jesper will never be able to look at Kaz's gloves without getting hard again.

"I have another pair," Kaz says, deadpan, before reaching behind his chair where his coat is hanging over the back rest. He pulls out a black handkerchief from one of the pockets, offering it to Jesper, who takes it to wipe his come off his fingers. It leaves milky stains on the dark fabric, unlike the red color of blood that Kaz usually wipes from his face and gloves.

Standing up, Jesper puts himself back in his trousers. Unsure of what to do with the handkerchief, he just stands in front of Kaz, feeling like an idiot.

"Keep it," Kaz says, nodding at the handkerchief. "You can bring it back later."

"Of course, boss," Jesper replies with a nod, closing his fingers over the dirty handkerchief.

Kaz just nods, before reaching across the desk for his cane and standing up himself.

Jesper assumes this was it, and for a moment he's not sure if this was a one time thing. Afraid of the answer he might get if he asked, he turns around, walking to the door. Before he can reach it however, Kaz's voice stops him.

"Jesper."

"Yes, boss?" Jesper asks, turning around again and cringing inwardly at how eager and hopeful he sounds.

Kaz fixes him with those dark coffee brown eyes, casting him a long look, before continuing. "I expect you back in my office tomorrow morning at eight bells sharp. And you better bring some of those waffles from the place at Goedmedbridge you bragged about."

A small smile is tugging at Kaz's lips again, and Jesper feels his face light up.

"Of course, boss!" He replies, grinning like an idiot, before he winks at Kaz and walks to the door.

It looks like he just acquired a date with Kaz Brekker, and a lot more than that if this evening has been any indication.

KAZ

Kaz watches as Jesper leaves his office and closes the door behind him. He has no idea what possessed him to invite Jesper for waffles tomorrow morning. Except that's not entirely true. It was that sad expression in Jesper's eyes that made him look like a kicked puppy.

Kaz is no monster, and this wasn't meant to be a one time thing anyway. He thought Jesper realized that when Kaz gave him a safeword, and laid down ground rules, but apparently Jesper needed confirmation. Well, now he has it, and judging by the way his face lit up when Kaz ordered him to bring them waffles tomorrow, that was exactly what he'd hoped for.

There is still a tiny voice in the back of Kaz's head that warns him that he's making a mistake, and the waters always lurk close by, but despite that, Kaz somehow knows that he can trust Jesper. And by giving him a little bit of himself, Kaz is getting Jesper's unconditional loyalty and commitment, something he wouldn't have gotten if they had only remained friends, and Kaz had kept him at a safe distance.

This — whatever it is — is not safe. But Kaz wouldn't be where he is today without taking risks. Calculated risks, but risks nevertheless. And with Jesper belonging to him, Kaz gains something that he has never had since he crawled out of the harbor after nearly dying on the Reaper's barge: an ally.

The end