"Incorrect. Look over your work, find your error, and try again."
"Commander, we've been over this same equation dozens of times, and I just —"
The Vulcan pinned me with his heartless stare. There was nothing in those eyes. Just cold calculation and the drive to see me crumble under his unethically rigorous teaching method.
"Need I remind you, cadet, that your tenure aboard this ship is predicated on completing your courses and passing."
"Yes, I understand that, but I — "
"I will not listen to excuses, cadet. The purpose of practice is to achieve perfection, and I will accept nothing less. If you do not pass the science portion of your exam, you will not graduate from the academy, therefore making this an enormous waste of my time."
If my teeth would've clenched together any tighter while he spoke, my jaw would've snapped. It took every last ounce of self control I possessed not to give him the verbal tongue lashing he deserved. Not to mention I had an empty stomach, and my system was operating on no coffee. He was lucky his nose was still intact.
"Understood, commander."
The beeping at both of our wrists noted the coming of another hour, and I couldn't help but let a small sigh of relief escape my lips. Done. Two hours of mind-crippling, stupidly intense studying was done. And I could go eat, find coffee, and try to fight back against the shooting pain in my temples from stress and my lingering hangover.
"That will be all for today. You will need to complete this set of equations for tomorrow's session. Be sure to complete all of the problems this time, cadet. There are fronts and backs to each page."
With the most forced smile I might have ever procured in my life, I nodded and grabbed the packet of paper, sliding into the pocket of my notebook. How the hell was it so thick for needing to be done in a day?! The thought crossed my mind to protest the ridiculous amount of work he expected to be done in such a short amount of time, but I pushed it down to ensure I made a quick escape from his draining presence.
As I gathered my things and placed them back into my gym bag, I wondered if there would be any stray pastries left in the cafeteria, or maybe even a muffin or two if I was lucky and hustled over before lunch service began.
"Thank you for your time today, commander. I will see you promptly at — "
"I would like to ask you a question, cadet, before we part ways."
His request threw a wrench into my carefully laid breakfast food scavenging plan. And, not to mention, it sent warnings clanging through my brain. What kind of question could he possibly have for a lowly, lowly cadet that he no doubt loathed for taking up more of his time on the one day off for the week?
I sat upright in my seat to match his rigid posture, my bag packed and ready to go by my feet after what would hopefully be a quick answer to whatever question he could possibly pose to me.
"Yes, commander?"
"It is quite apparent that you and Captain Kirk are close acquaintances, seeing as he was willing to put his reputation at risk to have you accompany the crew on this mission. As the captain is a colleague and a person whom I consider to be a good friend, I thought it would be wise to make an effort to get to know you on a personal level."
My brain might as well have been dipped in fuel and lit on fire. The Vulcan's logic was sound, of course, but the way looked at me with eyes void of any feeling or emotion was making my skin crawl. And there was something in the way he had presented his thoughts and reasoning that made me want to bring my walls up and keep them there.
I composed myself quickly, pulling myself out of my own mind and back into the present to avoid displaying any obvious discomfort.
"What exactly would you like to know, commander?"
Something in his gaze grew more intense and critical, pinning me down as he squinted ever so slightly before continuing on with his question.
"Where are you from, cadet?"
Everything in my body tensed as the words left his lips, his expression still blank yet somehow more smug to me now than before. My jaw clenched, my shoulders drew together, and my fists clenched in my lap. I was coiling up, getting ready to spring whenever I felt like I had had enough stress or distress. It was the only way I knew how to deal with myself in situations like these.
"I am sure you are already well aware that I do not know the answer to that question."
"I am aware that your planet of origin is unknown, and that your parents were both undocumented beings. I am also aware that there is a large span of time where both your exact whereabouts and activities were unclear. Where, and what exactly were you doing from the time you were orphaned to your first reappearance at the academy several years ago?"
Terminate. Abort. Avoid conflict.
The words clanged through my brain as a subtle shake started to show through my clenched fists and jaw. This was not the time, not the place, and certainly not the person to be having this type of conversion. Where the Vulcan got off, I had not the slightest clue. Surely after all his years aboard the Enterprise and at the academy, he must have a better clue of how he came off to people. He must've gained some small semblance of social awareness, right?
Clearly that was nowhere near the case. With incredibly measured movements, I calmly pushed my chair back from the table, placed my gym bag on my shoulder, replaced my chair with a scrape that was too loud in the empty room, and then finally brought my gaze up to Spock's rage-inducing face. He looked up at me with the same expression he'd worn since I'd known him. Blankness.
"I will see you at our lesson tomorrow with all of the work in the packet — both fronts and backs — completed. Good day, commander."
Setting off at a brisk walk across the empty commons, I didn't bother to linger to see if he bothered to return any parting words. The nerve of him trying to pry into my personal life on the grounds that he and I both shared Jim in common was completely and utterly asinine. It was obvious he was looking to gather information for some ulterior motive, and what that could possibly be eluded me and my will to care entirely.
It didn't matter why, because he was insane for thinking I would have some open, heart-to-heart conversation with the most calculating person I'd ever met.
As I strode down the hall and rounded a corner down the corridor that would bring me to the cafeteria, and with any luck a rogue pastry, I shoved all the rising anger, irritation and annoyance to a place deep, deep within myself.
I needed food, coffee and a good, long workout to ease every last ounce of new tension eating away at my muscles — that was the mission for now, for this moment, and that would be enough. Prioritize and compartmentalize.
Each step down the hallway brought with it a bit more calm and focus. I had been defending myself on my own for my entire life. Now, aboard this ship, would be no exception. Even if there was a logical Vulcan, recurring nightmares, and odd, unbelievably intense headaches that came and went out of nowhere. Oh, and the captain. Never mind that little complication.
Coffee and pastries. I'd start there, and deal with the rest in the form of sweat.
Breathe, Aria. There is nothing in this world that can hurt you. Defend, strike, repeat.