Set in the future, possibly AU. All the usual disclaimers

In my insomnia, I was thinking Gibbs and McGee and their friendship. Would Gibbs still be there for McGee in the future?

Dear Tim,

It's been getting warmer here. Summer is nearly upon us. I've built a little house, three bedrooms, just up the hill from where we're fishing that day. I was thinking today, I do a lot of that most days. But today my thoughts turned to you. I know talking's never been my strong suit, or technology. So, I am writing you this letter. I remembered when you would work on your novels, you preferred the old fashioned type writer over the laptop. So I figured an old fashioned letter wouldn't go astray.

I never told you, that I fought Morrow like hell to get you on my team. From that first case in Norfolk, I realised you were what we were missing. I'd had probie's before. But not for a long time. I needed you. At first, I told myself it was make up for my inept computer skills. But I realised your potential. Not many kids have double degrees and complete FLETC by the age of 22. Your very first posting as an agent and you got stationed at Norfolk. Barely an agent four months and you had the team leader of the top MCRT team in the agency begging the Director to reassign you to him. That's all you.

I must admit, I wasn't too happy you decided to pursue a relationship with Abby. A friendship was fine. It wasn't a father/daughter thing with Abby. I was just wise to her ways and the way she toys with the male hearts. Didn't want you to get hurt. All the way back then, I should have burned rule six. I should have said "I'm sorry" Abby played us, manipulated each of us, so many times over. It drove a wedge between us before we had a chance to form a friendship away from work. At the time, I thought the damage was done. But she was a good friend to us both and we're better for those experiences.

Tony, another fine example to why I should have burned rule six. His bullying, pranks, jokes and god damn annoying movie references really did get out of hand. I should have put a stop to it. "I'm sorry." I think the 'Tony' experience taught you to stand up for yourself. After a couple of years, you were getting him as good as he got you. You became brothers. You both needed that in your lives and ultimately, my failure gave you that. The bond , you two boys share is unbreakable. I know you two still talk often and that's good. Reminds me of me and Mike. Too much.

Losing Kate was hard on all of us, you wore my anger more than anyone else in that. "I'm sorry." That facial recognition program you wrote for catching Ari, was absolutely brilliant. You'd been itching to show off your computer skills since I bought you aboard and that program barely scratched the surface. You know, when I read an agents personnel file before I hire them I only read their education and work background. Makes me wish I had of read your whole file back then, might have made me understand you better. Appreciate you more. You and Kate bonded quickly, I could see it. She took you under her wing a little, her gentle teasing was to toughen you up. I saw how her death hung on you for years after she was gone. Survivor's guilt. I know it well. But you wore it with pride, you didn't let it get you down. You charged through it and came out victorious on the other side. She had great dreams for you, she told me if we trained you right you'd go far. I never told you I had her do a psychological profile on you. Needed it to win Morrow over. And it worked.

Your gentlemanly ways came shining through in your friendship with Ziva. She brought you back to us after Kate's death and you didn't let the fact that she was Ari's sister hold you back. Your friendship blossomed. When you guys would gang up on Tony, it always made me laugh. I think Ziva saved your soul from survivor's guilt and helped forge your bond with Tony. I know you love her like a sister. In some ways, probably more than Sarah. You protected her. You avenged her. Somalia was your brainchild. Your op, you were the one who refused to believe she was dead. Tony and I had readily accepted it, we thought it was your naiveties that wouldn't let you believe it. But it was your gut. You listened to it and we saved her. I know you, you were in the verge of begging me to let you see her. That's why I sent you to the diner in my place. I could see it in her eyes too. She needed to see you too. She needed you as much as you needed her.

I know that you and Jenny never saw eye to eye and she could never understand why I needed an agent like you in my team. But I knew why. Jenny was a very tunnel-visioned agent and Director. She liked action, she thrived on it. Not much for the academic approach. Her death, yes it affected you. But not like Kate's did. You were our rock at that time. Tony was angry at the whole world and still hurting from that infamous undercover op. Ziva, she'd worked with Jenny before NCIS and she'd lost a dear friend. I know you took her away for the weekend and she came back better. Me, you were just there for me. That night in the basement, you just sat there and kept quiet. Silently we drank a mason jar of bourbon each. You knew we were close, probably even surmised we were lovers in the past. You just sat there, no words were needed. That was the turning point for us. Thank you for that.

You know, to the likes of Mike Franks and Tobias Fornell you were everything they weren't. They were in awe of you, inspired by you, to become better men. Fornell was jealous of your talent, jealous I had you on my team. Used to try to use me to get you to join his team, then he got to know you. Began begging you directly. You're loyal to a tee. Thank you for that. Back then, I knew you needed me as much as I needed you. Mike used to tell me I was a better agent than he, because he'd never have been able to train an agent like you. Relax, it was a compliment from the old cowboy. He liked you, always. Said you had 'spunk' imagine the laugh I had at that at the time. I never knew, not until the port to port killer that they never let you see me in the hospital. Mike knew you were anxious to get there, to see me. It always stung you didn't visit me. Everyone came, except you. It wasn't until then I found out they'd purposely kept you away. It felt like another wedge between us. But I meant what I said I the squad room, the day I left for Mexico. Every word. I know I betrayed you by leaving. I'm sorry.

Vance once said he'd prefer an agency of agents like you, over agents like me and Tony. He knows that agents like you are rare. He'd never believe me if I told him how green you really were in the beginning. But you've turned out to be a heck of an agent. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if you succeed him.

I should thank you for my friendship with Jimmy too. You know, he was Ducky's protege, but it was my budding friendship with you and your gentle prodding to get me to open up to him and in turn, he open up with me. Losing Breena was hard him. Losing Shannon was hard on me. We had that in common.

Ducky, perhaps one of my dearest friends in this world (next to you), adored you like a treasured grandson. The day you invited us to dinner to tell us that you were going to pop the question to your wife was the day from hell. Ducky gave me a pep talk, told me that I'd probably lose you if I didn't go. So I did. Not because Ducky told me to, but because you deserved it. All those incidents with Tony, Abby and to a lesser extent Ziva, I was glad Ducky was in your corner. But it should have been me. I'm sorry.

I know losing your father hurt you. I know it was a tumultuous childhood and he hurt you as much as you hurt him. I tried to make him see how wonderful you were. It was too little, too late. Two weeks before he died, he was having chemo and called me in to come and see him. He told me about your childhood. About the electronics, taking the tv, kettle and toaster apart and putting back together. He told me about your schooling, skipping grades, Johns Hopkins's, MIT, about Mensa. He told me about the McGee family legacy and the rift between the two of you. About Penny and Nelson. About your mothers death and the treatment you got from your stepmother, Sarah's mum. He told me about your relationship with Sarah. Then he ended it with how proud he was of you, how full of regrets he was, how he wasn't afraid of dying because he knew you had me to lean on. And that he was ok with that. Relieved, you found a father in me.

You always had your head on straight. You know, I know that. You're an excellent agent. You know, I know that too. You know I'm proud of you and I love you. I've told you that. That day on the sofa. After everything with Ellie and Torres, one millimeter. It killed my heart to shoot at you. That first shot. I deliberately missed, knew it would t slow you down. When that bullet tore through your arm, it tore through me. Your tenacity, your stubbornness shone through. You got back up and kept going, determined to save Ellie. I knew you'd make me face my fears. I was always afraid I'd have to deliberately shoot one of you one day. Not only did I have to do it, you made me do it twice. When that bullet entered your leg, it hit me in the heart too. I was afraid it shattered everything we'd built. All the obstacles we'd overcome. Your wife forgave me instantly, she knew it killed me to shoot you. When you were unconscious, laying there, I cried. That's the first time I told you how much I love you. How much I appreciate you and how proud of you I am. I screwed up. Shouldn't have let the bullet that close. One millimeter.

You weren't just like a son to me. You are my son. Remember, you are more important than the job. Always. Our talk before your wedding, meant the world to me. Made me feel like I was your dad too. Standing there in the doorway with Jack and Ellie, looking at the four of you. My heart burst. You handed Morgan to me, giving me your seat. Your wife handed Johnny to me and I held one twin In each arm. You told me I was their grandpa. I loved that. I felt like it too. You gave me something, something I thought died with Kelly. That photo you took of me with holding them, I treasure. The photo of us on your wedding day, I treasure. They've got pride of place, next to my girls, on the wall above my fireplace.

In light of recent events, I think you should come visit me here. I've got a room set up for you and one for the kids. Let Grandpa take care of them and let me take care of you. That's what family does. Summer in Alaska is beautiful and peaceful. Let me be there for you, like I was after Paraguay. Like you were there for me after Joe.

I know you miss her. She was, your wife. But, she hurt you too. I wish I could teach you how to get over her, but I can't. You never get over the death of a wife, you just move on.

Getting over Parker, Ellie Bishop, Nick Torres, Ziva, Ducky, Tobias, Emily, Diane Sterling, Mike Franks, Jenny Shepard, Jim Nelson, Kate Todd, Chris Pacci and your parents death's will be walk in the park compared to the death of Delilah Fielding-McGee's.

I am sure NCIS can handle things without you for a while. I've spoken to Leon. He's got your back. Your six. You know that. It's going to take some time to recover. Take that time with me. Let me help you, let me have your six.

Let's go McGee. Pack your bags. You're going to Alaska.

Gibbs.