Chapter 15 – Falling

Author's Note: Sorry. Not sorry! Everyone has a breaking point. :')

~ Amina Gila

By the next morning, Anakin is simultaneously feeling irritable, depressed, and downright miserable. The Nubian queen had reacted positively to Padme's request and sent a demand for the Jedi Council sometime during the early hours of the morning. Padme sent it on, of course, promising to update Anakin as soon as she heard back. Somehow, Anakin doesn't think the reaction will be very positive. It certainly wasn't when Padme reached out to them yesterday.

After Padme had spoken to the queen and gotten her reassurances, the three – Ani had fallen asleep by that point, resting against Anakin – had spent nearly two hours painstakingly making plans for what they would do in the event that Anakin needed to go through with their last resort. Perhaps Anakin might have pushed it off a few days, or even longer, if not for last night.

Twice, Ani had woken up screaming from nightmares. The second time, he had been pretty much catatonic after he'd calmed down. He hadn't fallen asleep again, and they had all remained awake in Padme's bed for the rest of the night, though Ahsoka had finally dozed off on Anakin's shoulder after a while.

Even now, though they've moved to the couch, Ani is unresponsive, saying nothing and reacting to nothing, only holding the lightsaber in his hands tightly. It seems to be the only thing keeping him with them, and Anakin is terrified for him. He doesn't know how to help, because whatever is troubling the child is something he endured while in the Sith's hands. Anakin doesn't know what he went through, what traumas were added to those they have borne since childhood. Custos does, and that's why Anakin is going to free him as soon as he can.

The expected message comes shortly after noon. Padme forwards it on from the Council. It's short, shorter than it has any right to be, and it makes Anakin furious. His rage burns, simmering under his skin and making him want to lash out and destroy. Maybe that's a good thing if he's going to fake his Fall. He prerecords the message as Padme had asked, double checking with Artoo and Ahsoka that they're ready for the mission. They are, of course.

"The Council has decided to decline the Nubian Queen's request. This is an internal matter, and something which is being dealt with. The situation is still under investigation."

How dare they? How dare they act as if they're not playing with Ani's life?! At this point, Anakin is exceedingly concerned about the boy's psyche. He doesn't know what's going through Ani's head, but he can feel his pain. It's bleeding into the Force so strongly that even Padme seemed to be able to sense it, and she isn't even a trained Force-sensitive like he and Ahsoka. How long, he wonders? How long will it be before that pain snaps and changes to rage before the child in front of him is twisted irrevocably by the Dark Side?

Anakin doesn't know. He doesn't have answers, and he won't wait around and find out. Though he's loath to leave Ahsoka to care for Ani on her own, he leaves anyways, telling her to contact Rex and the clones if it proves to be necessary. He's headed for the Temple, hopefully to find Obi-Wan and attempt to convince him to at least allow Ani to visit his father if he won't let Custos go free.

If he's being honest with himself, Anakin is afraid to embrace the Dark Side intentionally and willfully, so as to give the appearance of Falling. He doesn't know if he'll be able to come back from it; the Jedi teach that someone can't, but Anakin is alright with sacrificing himself if it helps Ani. He won't let a child suffer for naught, not if he can help it, and he has long become accustomed to putting the needs of others first. This will change him he knows, probably permanently, but Custos seems to be managing it fine. Maybe he can help guide Anakin.

Obi-Wan is meditating in the Room of One Thousand Fountains when Anakin finds him, and he's inexplicably nervous, swallowing hard and inhaling slowly to calm his pounding heart. He hides his nervousness and fear behind his shields, reinforcing them before approaching his former master. Anakin would like nothing more than to join him now, teasing and making light-hearted conversation as if there's nothing wrong. He hates the way that their relationship has suddenly grown strained over the past few days, but there's nothing he can do about it. He doesn't know how to fix it.

And, he realizes with shame and dread, that a part of him is afraid to try and fix it. A clean break would be easier, less painful, than continually trying to put together the edges of their fraying bond. But at the same time, Anakin knows that he can't let Obi-Wan go. He'll never be able to do that, so he focuses instead on trying to formulate his thoughts. Obi-Wan might be known as the Negotiator, but there's no reason that Anakin can't be just as convincing if he tries hard enough, right?

Obi-Wan opens his eyes when Anakin approaches and sits down opposite him, something akin to surprise flickering in their depths. "I did not expect to see you here," he admits.

Anakin accepts the comment with a nod, forcing himself to present his case in a steady, calm manner. It wouldn't be good to become aggravated too early. "I – I need your help, Master," Anakin admits, hoping that appealing to Obi-Wan will be most effective. He doubts it, because he doesn't think that Obi-Wan would ever let his loyalty to and friendship with Anakin affect his ability to do his duties. He's a good Jedi, unlike Anakin.

"With what?" Obi-Wan queries, surprised, raising an eyebrow.

"It's about Ani," Anakin answers quietly. "Would it be possible for him to see Custos, even briefly?" He knows how pleading, how desperate he sounds, but he's exhausted. He doesn't want to have to care for this traumatized child while feeling so helpless and worthless, not knowing what he even needs to do to help him. "He is... not doing well. At all."

Obi-Wan's brow furrows. "What happened? He seemed more or less fine yesterday when I was speaking with him."

"He had nightmares last night," Anakin explains, "Bad ones. He's been mostly unresponsive to any of us since then. I don't – I don't know what to do. I don't think there's anything I even can do, but Custos should be able to help. I'm sure he's dealt with it in the past."

"I... I'm sorry, Anakin, but there's nothing I can do." To his credit, Obi-Wan actually sounds apologetic and regretful. "The Council was very specific. No one aside from Council members are to be permitted to see him."

Anakin clenches his jaw, Obi-Wan's words adding fuel to the anger burning within him. "Obi-Wan, please," he begs. "You have to do something! It's wrong, it's cruel to make a child suffer for no reason."

"I cannot go against the Council," Obi-Wan replies, shaking his head. "You're asking me to do something that I cannot do."

"Cannot or will not?" Anakin snaps back. His trepidation skyrockets because this is it. This is how it will end. He has to Fall now, in plain sight of the nearby Jedi, so that they acknowledge the dangers he could pose. This isn't for him. It's for Ani. Still, there's a part of his mind that reminds him that he is doing this for himself, at least partially. He wants Custos to be free too; he wants – craves – the comfort and peace that he found with him a few days ago.

And yes, it's true. He is being selfish perhaps. But... he doesn't care. He doesn't care that Sidious will probably be very pleased by this turn of events, at least until Anakin does his best to destroy him too. The Dark Side could destroy him, Anakin knows, and he does fear what he could become. He has ever since Mortis, ever since he first embraced it there, though he doesn't know why.

Obi-Wan doesn't answer, remaining silent. "You need to be patient," he says. "The Council is still looking into the situation."

"I cannot be patient while a child falls apart for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom," Anakin spits. "What the Sith did to him, to Custos, it nearly destroyed them both."

His former master simply nods. "I know."

"And you don't care, do you?" Anakin demands scornfully. He hates this, hates that they can't seem to do anything other than argue, but there's no other way this conversation could end. Not anymore. "You don't really care about how Ani and Custos are being affected by this. You don't care how this is affecting me."

"That's not true," Obi-Wan retorts, seeming almost frustrated for the first time since Anakin approached him. "I do care, but I also know that it is my duty to ensure that the Sith not cause us even more problems than they already have. We know nothing about Custos. For all we know, he could be an ally of Sidious."

He's right, and Anakin knows that, but Obi-Wan didn't spend time with Custos, talking to him. He didn't spend time with Ani. He didn't see in Ani's mind, didn't see the pain he and his father endured at the Siths' hands. Anakin knows that Custos isn't lying about his allegiances... but he can understand, he supposes, why the Council is acting as it is. They're wrong though. They're wrong to do this, to hurt so many people for absolutely no valid reason. The Sith are not inherently evil; it's what they choose to do with their power that is the problem.

"We don't have time to wait for a lengthy investigation," Anakin points out. "This isn't something that can wait."

"Is this about Ani or about you, Anakin?" Obi-Wan wants to know, suspicion coloring his words, "Because I am still very wary about the influence that Custos has over you."

"This isn't about me," Anakin growls. "I'm not even asking to see him. I'm asking that you let Ani see him." He hesitates for only a moment, before saying something he'll be sure to regret. "This is not negotiable. I'm telling you what you need to do before the situation gets out of control entirely."

Obi-Wan looks highly unimpressed. "I hardly think you are in a position to be giving anyone orders, especially not when your judgement is so compromised."

Something snaps in him when he hears those words, and he lashes out without even thinking. "Like you're one to talk," he bites back. "You're the one who is jealous for absolutely no reason. Maybe you wanted this to happen. Maybe you wanted the Council to imprison Custos so you could take his place."

No. No, that's not what he meant to say. He should never have said that, and he wants to apologize, especially because Obi-Wan looks as if he's been slapped, but at the same time, he... doesn't exactly feel guilty. He just wants this to stop. He wants it to stop hurting. There's no going back now, and Anakin jerks upright, clenching his fists.

Obi-Wan rises as well, expression set with anger. "This is exactly what I mean." His voice is pure ice, and it makes Anakin want to cringe away from him because it's wrong. "You are not acting like yourself."

Maybe it's those words that make him lose whatever self-control he had left. Maybe it's the way Obi-Wan is looking at him, so disapprovingly without a hint of compassion or affection in his eyes. Maybe it's the knowledge that he has no choice but to betray everything he's worked towards his whole life. In the end, it probably doesn't matter.

Anakin reaches out to the Force, reaches out towards the side of the Force that he has never willingly embraced. He tugs it towards him, letting the cold tendrils of the Dark Side flood through him, filling him with a power that is downright exhilarating. He nearly loses his balance for a moment as he feels nothing but power all around him. He is more powerful than he ever has been. How can the Jedi really think to deny something like this? It can give him everything he's ever wanted if he only reaches out and takes it.

He does. The Dark Side surges through him, drowning out the echoes of the Light Side, echoes which are weak by comparison. Like this, Anakin is invincible, and he knows it. This is the power that the Jedi have been denying him, and it makes him furious. Like this, he could have already won the war and destroyed the Sith and brought peace back to the galaxy. He still can, he realizes. Better late than never.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan sounds unsettled and freaked out all at once, and Anakin opens his eyes – when did he close them? – to look at him.

Obi-Wan's face is pale, unusually so, and he looks... scared almost. That doesn't seem right, but it's an oddity which Anakin sets aside to deal with later. Right now, he has to free Custos. He might have all the power of the galaxy at his fingertips, but he still knows his priorities. He – he can't do this alone. He needs Custos, now more than ever.

He thinks that Obi-Wan is trying to say something to him, but he doesn't take the time to listen. Somehow, he recognizes that the Dark Side has probably bled his eyes yellow. He doesn't care though, and why should he? This is where he was always meant to be. This is – this is his destiny. It always has been. The Jedi were right to deny him training, but their continual rejections of him only made it worse; they only made him seek to prove himself that much more. Not anymore though. Now, his destiny, his future... they will be his own.

"Get out of my way," Anakin growls, whirling as he plans to leave the Room of One Thousand Fountains to make his way to the prison level.

"Stop. You can't do this!" Obi-Wan calls after him, grabbing his arm to prevent him from leaving. "There is no reason for this. You're overreacting, Anakin."

Overreacting? Him?! "I'm not the one who decided to imprison someone for the mere crime of existing!" He shakes off Obi-Wan's hand, but before he can leave, Windu seems to materialize in his path, blocking him.

"Stand down, Skywalker," he orders harshly, giving Obi-Wan a meaningful look. Anakin doesn't know what it means, but he doubts it matters anyways.

He spits out a Huttese curse at the Jedi Master, reaching for where his lightsaber is only to remember that it's not there. Right. He'd left it with Ahsoka at Padme's apartment since he didn't want to lose it if he was arrested. Shrugging, he reaches out with the Force to call Obi-Wan's lightsaber to his hand – they've used each other's lightsabers enough for him to pick out the kyber crystal's song among all the others in this room – intending to fight his way through the Temple if he has to.

Obi-Wan bodily tackles him to the floor before the hilt lands in his palm, and he goes down, not expecting the attack. "You don't want to do this," Obi-Wan warns, pinning him to the floor.

Anakin thrashes in his grip, too angry – and too drunk on the Dark Side – to properly fight back. Besides, there's a part of his mind that assures him that Obi-Wan won't hurt him; he doesn't need to fight for his life, not while Obi-Wan is the one holding him down. "I do," he retorts back. "I really, really do."

Obi-Wan struggles to keep him pinned down, twisting his arms to the side so Windu can put stuncuffs on his wrists. When they close, Anakin stops fighting altogether, knowing that any further resistance would be futile. Better to let them take him into custody than fight back and make his situation worse. Besides, this was part of the plan. Now, he can only hope that everything else goes as planned.

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