'What are you thinking about, Eren?'
Bright teal-greens stare up at me, almost as if observing the outside things floating just outside the range of living eyes, as they too observed him in turn. A human baby examining dead people like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
'Eyes up.' I called to him, even when I knew he could never understand me, 'Your namesake is here. Would you like to meet him?' My face shifts in a moment and then settles.
Eren Kruger meets Eren Yeager.
For a brief moment, I sense a shift of recognition move under Kruger's skin, my skin, as if the person within was fighting back against the veil of unconsciousness. But… it's not enough. Like so many others before, the stimulus is not enough to get more than a tiny reaction.
The infant cooed at Carla, his mother, and then pointed up at the sky with delight. I didn't have to turn to know what he was actually looking at, knowing without glancing, seeing through his own eyes, as they were my own, the sight of clouds shaped like dolphins coasting lazily across the sky.
Of course, without knowing what a whale is or ever having a chance to see the ocean, Eren wouldn't really imagine what he couldn't know. Instead, it was more likely he caught sight of something he was not supposed to.
Eren attempted to reach out with his grubby, fat little hands, as if that would be enough to grasp the skies. All the while, a sound of simple wanting erupted from his throat; just a baby babbling without any desperation. The noisey pleading almost hurts.
'Kid, the clouds aren't listening.' I hated the fact that I had no idea what to do to make him stop, but it's not like I couldn't leave whenever I wanted. Why I couldn't just leave them well enough alone, I'll never know.
I let my stolen form move a little closer to the family of three, my face morphing into something inhuman and utterly abominable, the clothes of Kruger's facsimile sinking into suddenly amorphous flesh. I grinned an ugly smile, letting my maw hover over Eren intimidatingly.
Eren stared up at me curiously.
I could never really tell if infants could perceive me or not. Animals sometimes sense something unnatural for brief moments when I pass by and even sleeping people will wake up if I cover their noses, so why not?
At that moment, Grisha interrupted by pointing up at one of the clouds, coincidentally also pointing in-between my teeth, "That one looks like a dolphin, doesn't it?"
Carla made a funny face at her husband, a coy tone edging into her lips, "And what kind of animal is that, Mr. Yeager?"
"Ah, it's a type of sea mammal. Think of a fish that breathes air."
"But it spends its entire life underwater?"
"I didn't say they weren't strange…"
"Mmm, and how would you know what one looks like?"
Grisha explained the resemblance, while also pretending not to know precisely more than he was supposed to. Which meant skirting around the words and definitions for flippers and blowholes, because why would a people's doctor know about seafaring animals when nobody here really even knows about what biospheres exist outside of their own tiny bubbles? He could've just as easily called it a stethoscope and nobody would know or care. The Interior folk hardly know their own lands out here, let alone any one person's worldly knowledge beyond this entire pocket community setup these wall people have going on.
Titan-Kruger growled with my irritation. Eren giggled.
It infuriated me more than I cared to admit how small the words needed to be for things that should have been readily easy to describe- creatures and basic things most people should know by now. Because the knowledge base simply wasn't there, the uneducated majority of this technologically static island were still living in an era where medical basics were still severely lacking, even in comparison to…
I… don't know anymore.
The archival memories of the past hadn't just vanished- they had been removed, alongside all other stimuli. Only impressions remained now, and that, I barely understood these observations. I couldn't be certain it was a previous incarnation of myself or leftovers from when I was still… something else.
This world, for it had to be one of many, reminded me of a time before time.
A distant, primal past before human recollection caught up to its hunger for knowledge. The internally shared desire to escape the cycle of survival to create their own reality of comfort and stability. The willingness to do whatever it took to reach this point. It is in these traits that shaped the destiny of these creatures into a future of their own making and I greatly respect that.
However, these Walls… are not that. They can never be truly safe.
I knew that what these humans desired and what I desired, were essentially one and the same: To save and collect information. Therefore, even without the details of history to guide me, I would have to open up these people to the greater world one day.
Regardless, I don't really understand how Grisha could stand living here.
The city where he was born was on the coast, in a temperate zone where ocean currents from the north brought cold waters to the much warmer equatorial south. Living so close to the ocean, even someone who had never fished before would've seen the various many creatures of the sea. And dead aquatic mammals came into contact with humans most often, wanted or not.
So I knew, even without the power to feel for these things, that Grish felt similar feelings of sadness and frustration when dealing with this world's lack of knowing the greater spaces outside.
As it often always was, the official truth was that Grisha learned much of what he knew from the small collection of pre-wall books gathered from one Herman Arlert.
The claim is simple enough, the lands of Wall Maria were distant enough, the royal family's reach was weak enough. The proper details hardly mattered to anyone when it was just the claims of one locally renowned man on the farthest borders of civilization.
Maybe it's because of that restraint, that hint of knowing more than he should, but still limiting himself from saying dangerous truths, that drew Carla to him? Is that good husband and father material around here? I don't know for sure, but honestly, they didn't deserve to be eaten alive by titans.
'I hope you're enjoying yourself.' I said.
The open green fields were touched only by a light breeze on this sunny day, and not a worry passed between the family of three as they simply enjoyed a quiet pause from their daily routines.
At a whim, I delved into Grisha's head, wanting to get a feel for what he was feeling.
Satisfaction and quiet comfort radiated out of his mind. A subtle sense of guilt. The memory of his first spouse always stayed with him, even after so long and many years passed. That he should feel both happiness and sadness in equal measure, made it seem like a curse.
I pushed down on his grief and replaced the mental soft-lock with a new one so that he could fully live in the moment without the past coming back to haunt him. Grisha had his peace for the past few years, he'll figure out the next decade.
My face returned to its original state, 'Spend this life well.'
Grisha's eyes passed over my face and for a brief moment, I thought he could see me after all, but this was not to be the case.
These years I've been here, wandering across these three walls like some ghostly apparition, waiting for a reason to understand what I was doing here, seeking an unfulfilled purpose to an end that I do not myself comprehend, and not once since then had I been spotted.
No one can see me, no matter the circumstances or length of time.
I had been following him from the beginning of his journey within the Walls. Ever since I had discovered his presence near Shiganshina, I began watching Grisha's life unfold from inside his head whenever I grew bored of watching others. Sometimes, it feels as though I had been with him from the beginning, and yet, it didn't change the inevitable realization that I do not have the ability to truly understand the people in my observation.
He was only here because he failed to be a good father. If the zealot is dead, then he should probably stay dead, but I have no true opinion on the matter.
Grisha quickly checked his pocket watch, before turning to Carla, "I wish I had more time, but I must go to my next patient."
Carla already had her arms raised for the Eren Hand-off, in which the little tyke started making increasingly louder noises of distress as he began to realize that he was being given away.
"Shhh, don't cry. Daddy will be back soon before you know it."
The couple said their goodbyes. Grisha was about to leave, but at the last split second, he decided to say one last parting farewell, eyes focused intently on her. "I am spending my life exactly how I wanted it. With you."
Carla smiled, curiosity peeking at the sudden display. She asked a question, to which he then answered along the same lines. One thing led to the topic of a potential sibling for Eren, that led to coyling suggestions.
I had decided to leave a while ago, before they started talking.
I had no wish to feel the sensory feedback of the couple expressing their desire for each other's bodies through the connection.