A/N: Wow, so this quickly became a long chapter. I rewrote parts of this a few times, trying to get it to be the way I wanted it to be. I don't want to give away too much, but you'll probably know what I'm talking about when you get there. I wanted this to go a certain way and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Anyway, I hope you're all well and ready for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy!
"It's the Room of Requirement, also known as the come-and-go room. It appears to people in need of it," Hermione explained.
"I guess Hogwarts is on our side," Ginny said, taking in the room around them, well equipped for dueling or just practicing difficult spells.
The landscape around Hermione blurred and she heard a familiar voice saying, "Hogwarts has always had the students' best interests in mind."
Hermione jolted awake, instinctively reaching for the wand she no longer possessed, suddenly feeling like she was back on the run. Her breath came in pants and there was a light sheen of sweat. Beginning to recognize her surroundings, Hermione took a slow inhale through her nose, forcing it through pursed lips as she exhaled. She sat heavily on the couch, placing her head in her hands as she struggled to regain her sense of self. She couldn't remember the last time she woke up in this state, but she knew it was because she had come back. It was so much easier to forget everything when she wasn't surrounded by reminders of the war.
As the violent hammering of her heart subsided into its usual tap against her ribcage, parts of Hermione's dream started to click in her mind. She didn't know how to go back in time the way she needed to, and she wasn't a student anymore, but maybe, just maybe, the ancient magic would recognize her and side with her. It was a long shot, but Hermione had done nothing but dwell on how to do what she so desperately needed to do that she scarcely left the room. Nevermind the fact that it had been almost a month and she still hadn't told anyone she was back.
"Look who finally has a decent idea," Bellatrix taunted, pulling Hermione out of her thoughts.
"Like you've been such a big help," Hermione retorted, her words venomous.
"I can only do so much. I'm very limited in my...abilities."
Hermione stomped toward the door, growling under her breath as she did. She was so tired of this. All she wanted was to fix everything already so she could finally stop feeling this way.
"You and I both know you hated yourself long before any of this happened. Know-it-all little mudblood girl with no friends until she just so happened to save Harry fucking Potter and develop a tentative friendship. And then you actually thought you loved Ron. Poor love-starved little mudblood," Bellatrix said, lacing her words with fake pity.
"Shut up," Hermione snarled, turning so her back was facing the door.
"That's the thing, pet. You never could shut me up, but I bet it's a lot easier to tell yourself it's not true if it comes from someone as insane as I was. But really, you've always felt this way. I've always been here. And as much as you fight it, you can't help but feel like I'm right."
Hermione had slid down the door, pulling her knees to her chest and holding her hands over her ears in a feeble attempt at drowning out the voice in her head. She knew it was true but she still didn't want to accept it. She had to at least try. She was different now, maybe she could change things for herself. Hermione couldn't register the tears streaming down her cheeks, burying her face in her arms. She didn't feel the gentle hand of Minerva on her arm, slowly trying to bring the woman back to herself. She just sat rocking herself back and forth until she couldn't feel anything anymore.
"Hermione!" Minerva called, her grip becoming more firm and giving the witch gentle but firm shakes.
Shocked, Hermione's head snapped up, her body instinctively backing even further against the door.
"Shhh, it's okay Hermione. I'm not going to hurt you. What happened?" Minerva soothed, allowing the young witch to physically withdraw.
"I-I had a-" Hermione was unable to finish, a lump forming in her throat and the feeling reigniting.
"It's alright, Hermione. I just came to check on you, it's been a few days. I'm glad I did." Minerva was kneeling on the cold stone in front of Hermione, worry accentuating the lines in her face as she observed her former student.
"Thank you. I'm sorry," Hermione finally said, unable to meet her former mentor's gaze, afraid of what she might find.
"You have nothing to apologize for. Come, let's get you some tea and maybe a little bite to eat," Minerva said, standing and offering her hand to Hermione.
"Actually, I think I finally figured out what I need to do. If I succeed, I don't think I'll be back, and if I fail, well, I think it'll be obvious," Hermione explained, pulling herself to her feet. She finally met Minerva's gaze, and the older witch found nothing but determination in her brown eyes.
With a pang of sadness, she muttered, "Very well. I would not try to stop you as I'm sure you'd find a way regardless. I suppose the least I can do is wish you luck and hope you'll be okay."
"Thank you for understanding," Hermione whispered, quickly fleeing from her room and frantically making her way to the seventh floor.
The Room of Requirement was impressive, as always. Despite her lingering doubt it would show, she had pressed on and been successful. This time, the Room of Requirement was a relatively simple and small environment, with candles strewn about the room, their flames reflecting off the glass walls. Hermione was surprised, to say the least. She was grateful, though, to know the school still saw her as someone to help. The room was empty, save for the candles, and Hermione felt a twinge of uncertainty about what to do next. Pushing it down, she strode to the center of the room with a confidence she didn't feel and sat cross-legged, staring at her infinite reflections. The more she looked, the harder it was to pull her gaze away. Her reflection had captivated her attention, sucking her in until it was the only thing she could see. Her face, the back of her head, on and on into eternity. The surroundings became unfocused, gradually overwhelming her vision until all that was left was the reflection of her eyes. Before Hermione knew it, even the reflection of her eyes faded. And then there was only darkness.
Bellatrix walked along the perimeter of the Black Lake, soaking up the sunshine. She was ready for the school year to begin, grateful to be away from home for a few months. She felt bad leaving Narcissa alone with their parents, but she had always been doted on in a way Bellatrix wasn't. Andromeda, thankfully, was attending Hogwarts already, so Bellatrix had one less sister to worry about. Their father was not a father in the typical sense, but that's how purebloods were. Still, Bellatrix was grateful her parents had been called away on business and she and Andromeda were permitted to move to Hogwarts a little early. Bellatrix loved the castle when it was empty, feeling much freer to be herself in the walls that had given her refuge and knowledge. Her time at Hogwarts was treasured, even if the other students grated on her nerves. It was better than being home.
As Bellatrix turned to make her way back to the castle to find her sister, she noticed a shape that was vaguely person-like a little further down the shore, almost at the edge of the Forest. She approached cautiously, unsure if the person was hostile, but it was unlikely that they would have been able to enter the grounds. She didn't draw her wand but had a simple worldless stunner prepared just in case. Her approach didn't draw the figure's attention and Bellatrix was close enough now to see that it was a girl, probably around her own age, and she seemed to be unconscious. Bellatrix crouched near the girl, trying to determine if she was injured. She was about to call for Madame Pomfrey when the girl shifted, a soft groan escaping pink lips.
"Are you alright?" Bellatrix asked softly, trying not to startle her.
Hermione brought her hand to her face, dragging it down and becoming more confused with every passing moment. Her features felt...younger? Her body felt different and she slowly tested her limbs, finally registering she had been asked a question.
"I think so," Hermione answered, turning to look at the source of the question. Her eyes widened when her gaze landed on the familiar face, albeit much younger than she was when Hermione had known her. She unconsciously moved away, retreating into herself.
"You're safe, you know," Bellatrix said gently, the girl's action not unnoticed.
Hermione relaxed a little bit, this Bellatrix not like the one she knew. "I'm just a little disoriented."
"Should I help you to the infirmary?" Bellatrix offered.
"No, no I think I'm fine. But I should probably speak to..." Hermione trailed off, the idea of saying the Headmaster's name just hitting her and she felt a small pang of loss because the Dumbledore in her time had died, "Dumbledore."
"Do you want me to help you get there?" Bellatrix was now kneeling in front of Hermione, watching the strange girl in front of her. She seemed like she didn't belong, and like she knew it. Bellatrix knew the magic of the school worked in strange ways, but this was beyond anything she ever would've thought could happen. It wasn't hard to see that the girl clearly wasn't from this time.
"If you don't mind," Hermione said, unsure of why she wanted the witch's company. She was used to Bellatrix's presence in the way she created it, but actually interacting with her intrigued her, especially since she had yet to become the insane Death Eater Hermione knew her as.
"Let me help you up," Bellatrix said, standing and offering a hand to Hermione.
"I don't think you want to touch me," Hermione said, shrinking back.
"Why?" Bellatrix asked. Normally she wouldn't care, but for some reason, she felt a little hurt.
Hermione chewed her lip, absently sliding her fingers along the scar on her arm. Her body may be younger, but even the magic of Hogwarts couldn't undo the scars of dark magic. She was almost grateful that the scar was still there, the one thing she could rely on to never change. Without a word, Hermione pulled up her sleeve, revealing the slur carved into her arm by her time's version of Bellatrix.
Bellatrix's eyes widened in horror, her mouth falling open, "Who did that to you?"
Hermione's eyes flicked down, tracing over the letters. Somehow, they seemed less angry than they usually are. "I can't tell you."
Bellatrix knew there was more to the story but didn't push the subject. "I may be a Black, but that doesn't mean I buy into all that rubbish purebloods spit out. Since coming to Hogwarts I've seen purebloods be bested by half-bloods and muggle-borns more times than I can count."
Hermione's mouth fell open, eyes flicking quickly back to Bellatrix. She had actually said muggle-born and not mudblood. Her brows furrowed, the differences between Bellatrix Black and Bellatrix Lestrange becoming apparent. She had come back to change what had happened to her and it seemed like the castle gave her the opportunity to do just that. Gently, as if she were afraid Bellatrix was pranking her, she placed her hand in the other witch's. Bellatrix pulled Hermione to her feet, steadying her when she wobbled.
"You clearly know who I am, not that it's surprising considering my family's 'status,' but allow me to properly introduce myself. Bellatrix Black."
"I'm Hermione." Hermione wasn't sure how much more she could say. She was sure the rules of time travel still applied, even if those rules told her this shouldn't even be possible.
"Nice to meet you," Bellatrix said, feeling abnormally friendly. She didn't normally socialize with anyone. If she was caught outside pureblood company it would ruin her family and earn her a beating, but she couldn't stand to be around purebloods. She had become very antisocial since she started Hogwarts but it was still better than being home. She knew Hermione couldn't divulge more information without causing problems. Mumbling under her breath, Bellatrix quickly realized Hermione's wardrobe was too out of place. Drawing her wand, she tried not to be offended by Hermione's instinctual flinch as she turned and transfigured her clothes- clearly too large for her- into better fitting robes.
"Sorry," Hermione mumbled, quickly dropping the spell she had almost released.
"You don't have to apologize, I should've given you some warning. I don't know what you've been through but I can tell it was bad and I'd probably be a little jumpy, too. There aren't many people here but you never know who might show up, so I just wanted to be prepared."
Hermione's brow furrowed again and she found herself having to remind herself that this was a different Bellatrix. A Bellatrix she had never thought existed before. Bellatrix allowed her to pull her hand away, giving her space as she led the way to Dumbledore's office, glancing back every now and then to make sure Hermione was still behind her. She could tell there was trauma, trauma that had probably been ignored for too long, and she tried to be understanding and respectful of Hermione. She was grateful school hadn't started and the castle was mostly devoid of life. Something about Hermione made her curious. She wanted to know why the girl was so jumpy, why she had that horrible word carved so crudely into her arm. There were hidden depths in Hermione's eyes, betraying the presence of untold wisdom but not its secrets. Hermione dutifully followed Bellatrix, knowing the way for herself but glad for the company. She studied the way the witch walked, a slight spring in her step with a hint of the athletic stalking her Bellatrix was known for. She was kind, and most definitely sane, but Hermione could also sense the intelligence Bellatrix possessed.
Bellatrix looked behind her again, giving Hermione a small smile as they reached Dumbledore's office. She could feel Hermione's brown eyes studying her closely the whole way but didn't want to interrupt or startle her. Bellatrix called out the password, gesturing for Hermione to go up the newly appeared stone staircase.
"Thank you," Hermione said, hesitating at the first step.
"Do you want me to wait for you?" Bellatrix offered, not entirely understanding why she did. Something about seeing Hermione clearly in distress bothered her and she couldn't bear to leave her alone in an unfamiliar time.
"You don't have anything better to do?" Hermione asked, not wanting to take advantage of Bellatrix's kindness. She wasn't sure why she wanted Bellatrix's company, but this Bellatrix was nicer than her Bellatrix.
"Not at all," Bellatrix smiled, hoping to ease Hermione.
"Would you actually come with me? If you don't mind, I mean?" Hermione held her breath waiting for Bellatrix's response, scared she would say no.
"I don't mind at all," Bellatrix replied with a smile. Hermione stared at Bellatrix, astounded at the genuine smile that graced her face, making her radiate beauty.
Hermione shook her head, mumbling her appreciation as she started her journey up the stairs. Bellatrix nodded, even though Hermione couldn't see her. It was her turn to study Hermione as they walked, taking in the careful, quiet steps, each taken with decisive thought. She seemed tense and ready to defend herself as soon as she felt threatened. She could see that Hermione was capable, her every motion fluidly shifting into the next with ease. Bellatrix couldn't help but imagine what it might be like to duel her, considering everyone else she had dueled was unpracticed and undisciplined. Bellatrix could also see how much anxiety Hermione had, and she attributed it partly to waking up in a completely different time and partly to not coping with whatever had happened to her.
"Miss Black, how can I- oh," Dumbledore said, looking up and halting his sentence when his eyes fell on Hermione.
Hermione eyed the Headmaster with fondness, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she choked out, "Professor."
"Yes?" Dumbledore asked, quirking his brown upward.
Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to form a coherent thought. Dumbledore waited patiently, eyes flicking towards the motion of Bellatrix moving closer to Hermione.
"Sorry, I can't really explain much because I'd be breaking the rules of time travel. But I can see it's really good to see you, Professor. It's been a long time," Hermione finally said.
"Time travel? Well, this is most unusual, indeed. But, I daresay stranger things have happened. How far back did you come?" Dumbledore inquired.
"What year is it?" Hermione asked, guessing it had to be over 30 years at least.
"August 1965," Bellatrix said, alarmed when Hermione whipped her head around to look at her. Her jaw was nearly on the floor in amazement.
"Then it would be about 40 years backward," Hermione said.
"That is quite far back, indeed. And I'm sure there's a reason you've come back so far, and that Miss Black was the one to find you. Seeing as you are familiar with me, I can only assume you attend Hogwarts and you appear to be about the same age as Miss Black, which would make you a fourth year, yes?"
"Yes, sir," Hermione said, not mentioning that she had finished school already and she was actually not as young as she seemed. This gave her the chance to have a somewhat normal time at Hogwarts, something she had always craved, and she could only assume the magic of the school reverted her age for a reason.
"I'm sure you've already been sorted, but it might be in your best interest to be resorted," Dumbledore said, reaching for the Sorting Hat in his office.
Hermione nodded, knowing she most likely wouldn't be sorted into Gryffindor. It had been a long time for her since her sorting and she had changed a lot in that time. She sat across from Dumbledore, casting a glance at Bellatrix, silently asking her to sit next to her. Dumbledore placed the Sorting Hat on her head just as Bellatrix settled into her chair.
"Interesting. You are such a long way from where you should be, yet you're exactly where you belong. I can certainly see why I'd place you in Gryffindor, but that's not quite right anymore is it? No, definitely not. You have always sought knowledge, so perhaps Ravenclaw? Hmmm, that's not quite right either. There's something else, something even stronger than that. A drive stronger than your courage or love of knowledge. Certainly not a Hufflepuff. It's decided then. Slytherin!" The Hat declared after several moments of contemplation aloud.
Hermione wasn't surprised to hear the Sorting Hat's decision. She had grown to adopt more Slytherin traits than she ever thought she would. Going through the war and living with the aftermath had caused her to change. Beside her, Bellatrix studied her closely, noticing the lack of reaction. She wasn't afraid about having been sorted into the house notorious for being reserved for purebloods, and the longer she thought about it, the less it surprised her. Hermione had admitted to her that she was a muggle-born, even knowing who she was.
"Very well. I shall make the proper arrangements for you to join us this year," Dumbledore said, satisfied with the Hat's decision. He knew that whatever changes Hermione needed to make involved Bellatrix, and being in Slytherin made that easier.
"Professor, if I may. Hermione might feel more comfortable with extra privacy. I would be willing to share my dorm if it makes you feel more comfortable. And you wouldn't have to worry about anyone messing with you," Bellatrix explained, looking, for the first time in her life, a little sheepish.
"I don't want to intrude, and I can handle myself if it comes down to it," Hermione said hesitantly.
"Actually, I believe Miss Black has the right idea. Not that I don't believe you have the ability to defend yourself. And I know Miss Black would not have offered if she saw it as an intrusion," Dumbledore interjected.
Hermione pursed her lips, relenting with a nod. She was more nervous to share a room with Bellatrix than she was to live in the Slytherin house. She still had trouble reconciling this version and the version she knew. Being in this situation forced her to come to terms with everything she had experienced, something she still didn't feel quite ready for. She knew it had to happen eventually, especially since she had planned on fixing things, even if she wasn't sure how to. She knew she would have to be in Hogwarts, would have to face the memories of the war.
"I will ensure you have everything you need for the year. You should create an alter ego while you're in this timeline. Perhaps Miss Black can help you. Before school starts do get back to me so I can inform the other professors," Dumbledore said.
"Come on, I'll show you into the Common Room," Bellatrix prompted, easing the young witch up.
"Thank you for believing me, Professor," Hermione said as she followed Bellatrix to the dungeons.
Hermione had passed the Slytherin Common Room more times than she could count, but hadn't gone inside, unlike Harry and Ron in their second year. It was cozier than she thought it would be, the green with silver accents comforting her more than the Gryffindor colors ever had. She could see creatures in the Black Lake swimming by, paying them no attention.
"Sometimes when there are more students they make faces at us. Other than that, they usually mind their own business. Typically the dorms would be found down and to the left, but our dorm will be up and to the left. There was an incident my first year and they decided I should room by myself, but it's made to fit three people. There's no need for me to give you a tour of the castle, but I'll fill you in on some of the professors, I imagine some of them are different," Bellatrix explained, leading them to their shared room. She was a little excited to have some company in her room. She felt very lonely at times, and it would be nice to have a compelling conversation.
"Thank you. For being kind to me. When I, erm, when I came back I didn't really think I'd end up here and with you. It caught me off guard."
"How did you manage to come back so far?" Bellatrix asked, her desire for knowledge making her curious.
"I'm not really sure. I did a lot of research in the restricted section but I didn't find anything remotely useful. I spent nearly a month trying to figure something out and one night I had a dream and something just clicked in my head. It wasn't anything I could use my magic to do, but if I was meant to go back and fix things- fix me- then the castle's magic should recognize that and be able to do something. The last thing I remember is sitting in the Room of Requirement. Then I was here. I have no idea how it happened," Hermione explained.
"A lot happened to you," Bellatrix said.
"Yeah," Hermione confirmed, even though it wasn't a question. She had to struggle not to spill everything to Bellatrix. It was weird talking to her and it actually being a real conversation rather than with herself.
"And I take it you know me from your time?" Bellatrix asked, gently pushing the subject. She was so curious to know everything.
"In a way," Hermione said, rubbing her hand over her scar.
"Is it bothering you?"
"It's fine," Hermione snapped, immediately regretting it when hurt crossed across Bellatrix's face. She never expected to see that expression on the other witch's face and she took a step closer.
"I'm sorry. I don't really like to talk about it," Hermione replied in a softer voice.
"I understand. I shouldn't have asked, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Bellatrix said, shrugging off the hurt.
"No, really. I didn't mean to snap like that," Hermione insisted, her eyes seeking out Bellatrix's.
"You know me in the future, don't you?" Bellatrix asked, fear creeping into her tone at what she might hear.
"It's not the same you," Hermione said quietly.
Bellatrix felt her heart drop. Everyone assumed she was bad, she knew they did. They assumed she hated anyone who wasn't a pureblood, because her last name was Black and that's what she was supposed to do. She had been put in a room by herself because everyone was afraid she would snap and lose control. Her father filled her head with lies and beat her if she didn't comply, and she had shut herself away from people so she didn't betray her feelings. But something must've happened sometime in her life to make her truly snap. The way Hermione reacted to her question told her that she had become a monster just like everyone thought she was. She slumped onto her bed, staring at her hands as if they were weapons used for murder. And as far as she could tell, they probably would be.
Hermione chewed her lip, unsure of what to say or do to comfort the witch. The fact that she wanted to comfort Bellatrix confused her. Hermione enjoyed being in her presence, enjoyed the side of Bellatrix she never even dreamed about. The whole time she had been around this Bellatrix, her Bellatrix was blessedly silent for once in her life.
"Bellatrix," Hermione whispered, sitting on her own bed, "There's a lot that happens. But I came back to change that. And I came back for selfish reasons, it's true, but there's no way I could come back and fix things only for myself. There's a lot of people that this can help, and maybe you're one of them. I know what people think of you, there was a lot of talk about it even when I was a student, but I can see that it's not the truth. It's hard to prove people they're wrong about you because most of the time they've already made up their mind. You can't let their thinking infect yours. You know what you are."
By the end of her impromptu speech, Bellatrix was staring intently at Hermione, watching the different emotions cross the brunette's face. "Thank you."
Hermione just nodded, quickly looking away from Bellatrix's dark eyes. She was starting to get pulled too far into them. She couldn't help but admire Bellatrix, had even admired the Bellatrix she knew. It confused her to no end.
"You know, you should probably listen to your own advice," Bellatrix offered after a long, tense silence.
