Boruto didn't know why he said yes. When his dad approached him with the idea of talking to Kawaki, he instantly blurted yes. All logic should have led him away from ever wanting to see him ever again, but he figured that if his first response was that yeah, he wanted to see the kid he used to consider his brother, that meant he probably should.

Plus it sounded like Kawaki might have some valuable information, and putting his life on the line for the sake of his family was absolutely worth it.

Sarada had disappeared early in the morning with Itsumi to go visit Satoshi, Konohamaru, and Mitsuki and to avoid him, so he really had nothing holding him back. By late afternoon he, Sai, and several of his father's own personal guards found themselves inside the high, formidable gray walls of the Allied Nations Maximum Security Prison with stoic guards glaring at their backs as they made their way down the long, dark and damp hallway toward Kawaki's cell.

As far as he could tell no one was even housed on this floor but that didn't calm Boruto's nerves and all he could hear was his own blood rushing through his ear and his shaky breath. This would have been the first time he'd seen him in almost two years. So much had changed in that time. He wasn't so much scared of if the other boy would try to hurt him, but the bubbling in his stomach told him his anxiety came more from not knowing him anymore. What would Kawaki look like? Would he even recognize him? Would it be obvious how much time had passed between them? And worse, would seeing him rip open the bleeding wound of missing what could have been again?

Eventually they came to the end of the hall and ended any second thoughts Boruto might have been throwing around. One steel door with a small window covered in bars stood proudly in front of them, daring any shinobi to come closer.

The guard guiding them finally spoke for the first time and barked out, "You know the rule, step back into the corner!" Inside Boruto could hear someone shuffling, and the guard eyed the window until he was satisfied the inmate inside was safely tucked back.

"You have ten minutes," the guard then growled to Boruto and his comrades and placed his hand to the door. Similar to the safe house's mechanism, his chakra caused the locks inside the door to whir and loudly separate for almost a full minute until the door was officially disarmed and they were left in total silence again.

Sai reached for the door but Boruto shook his head and swatted his hand away. "I'm going by myself," he announced.

"You're insane, no you're-"

"Just wait out here with them. I'll be fine."

"Your father-"

"Does it look like I give a shit what my father thinks?"

Sai blinked at him again, but the Uzumaki stared right back until finally Sai uncrossed his arms. "Fine, but we aren't leaving," Sai replied shrewdly.

"Don't then."

Boruto turned to swing the heavy door aside and once again his heart began to beat hard in his chest.

"Brother." A familiar voice wafted toward him.

Boruto's eyes struggled to adjust to the lack of light, but eventually they settled on Kawaki sitting in the corner with his hands neatly tucked into his lap. It took him another second to see that his fists were tightly tied together. The sour bubbles in his stomach jumped again.

"Kawaki."

"You can sit, you know." The other boy's voice was a little deeper and slightly hoarse, as though he had been yelling recently… or had not used his voice at all.

The blonde realized he had been standing in the doorway, a hand on his sword the guards allowed him to keep saddled to his hip, and plopped down awkwardly in the front right corner, diagonally and completely across the room from Kawaki. He tried to sit naturally but suddenly couldn't remember how he normally sat so he decided to cross his legs and hope it looked like he wasn't nervous.

"I'd tell you to move closer," Kawaki said, "but you're justified in staying there."

"What do you want, Kawaki?" Boruto's voice came out a little more annoyed than he intended. "Why would you want to talk to me now?"

"Because if what I've heard is true then you need me," he replied simply, unaffected by Boruto's snappy tone.

Boruto scoffed and looked away toward the exit where the ANBU guards were waiting outside the door pretending not to listen. "Why the hell would I ever need you?"

"Because you're an idiot."

Boruto's head whipped back but he couldn't say he wasn't intrigued to hear him go on.

"I know you don't want to talk to me-" Kawaki continued.

"You're not as thick anymore, I see."

"-But I know you wouldn't have come unless you wanted to know what I had, so things must be getting serious on the outside."

Boruto clenched his jaw but didn't reply.

"I need to ask you about these rumors." His voice remained leveled, thoughtful. Boruto couldn't help but remember how different his tone was when they first met all those years ago now. "It's obviously been a while since we've seen each other… Longer than nine months, obviously…"

"Mm," Boruto grunted but his heart thumped hard in his chest. Nine months. He couldn't possibly know, way out here, could he?

He continued. "I've heard that maybe some things happened in that amount of time with Sarada. Is that right?"

The last time he saw Kawaki they were bleeding out on each other with each one scraping by to survive. There was no way he could trust him with this information- he was obviously just as much of an enemy as anyone outside, or inside, these walls.

Right?

Boruto's silence was enough for a confirmation for Kawaki. "What the fuck were you thinking?" he barked and his even-keeled tone he tried to don before had completely vanished.

Boruto could feel his fingers begin to twitch toward the sword again but squeezed his index finger against his thumb until he could feel a warmth of blood begin to trickle out . "Why the hell would I ever listen to you again?" he shot back. "You brought me all the way out here to lecture me?"

"But it's true then. What I've heard. About you and Sarada."

"I don't think two teenagers maybe dating should be important enough to call someone all the way out to a prison," Boruto replied coolly.

"You sure as hell know I'm not talking about you two dating."

Boruto took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice steady. "I don't know why you'd think I'd trust you with any kind of village information," he said.

"Because if what I heard is true then you're an even bigger idiot than I thought, and you need to know you all and your...family...are in danger." The Uzumaki could see Kawaki sit back against the wall as though satisfied that he got out what had been building up inside him for who knew how long.

"Where did you hear this?" Boruto asked softer and shook his foot to try to calm his heartbeat. "What did you hear?"

Kawaki sat forward again and the heavy bags under his eyes became visible for the first time. "There used to be more people on this floor," he began. "A few guys had come in, just for a few days- I'm not really sure what happened to them, probably moved to a different floor for other solitary confinement- but there was no doubt they were talking about you. They mentioned that they didn't think it would be long before your karma completely overtook you. Obviously they were excited and obviously I didn't think much of it. But then just a few days ago a few more people came in and said they heard Sarada had two kids and your name came up. Those are some heavy accusations to just throw around, so I wanted to make sure you knew just in case I was wrong. I'm assuming that if both of those things are true though you'd want to keep something like that quiet, right?"

Boruto didn't know what to say. He just kept shaking his foot, hoping that the right words would come to him or that Kawaki would keep talking so he didn't have to confirm or deny. It just seemed surreal to even be here, talking to Kawaki after he almost killed him almost two years ago, and having him of all people be the bearer of this news. He knew there was a risk people knew something, otherwise no one would have attacked them, but he at least could also say that he didn't know how far reaching this was. If people in prison now knew, how many on the outside did? And how close were they to him?

"Let's start with the karma," Kawaki continued like Boruto wasn't hanging his head in the corner shadows. "Did you mess up somehow? I'm going to assume so. If someone knows it's getting stronger, you need to get that under wraps. You need to start taking those pills again."

The pills. Boruto lifted his head slightly. "Again, I'm not sure why you think I'd listen to you," he croaked out.

"Because if you don't take them then you'll end up in here," Kawaki said matter-of-factly. "Boruto…" He paused until the other boy glanced up through his bangs to meet his eyes. "That wasn't me. Not fully. You have to know that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Boruto lied but Kawaki immediately shut him down.

"You think you have it under control and you think the power is good for you. We both did. It was what we had to protect everyone so after a while who gave a damn about the risks? But there's going to come a point where it is going to wrap you up and pull you under, and you'll never be able to get out of it until it's too late. Do you think I wanted to hurt anyone? Do you?"

Boruto looked down again.

"Sure, maybe I'm not the keenest on the shinobi world, but you know that's because of the shit I've seen. We've seen." He kicked back on the metal bench he was sitting on, causing a loud echo that made Boruto jump; in the corner of his eye Boruto could see the ANBU twitch toward the door but he put up a hand to stop them.

"But that was not me! And you know eventually it isn't going to be you either! I can see your face, Boruto- I'm not stupid, I still know you, you know. You're not indestructible, you were just lucky you had those pills so it didn't quite reach you as quickly. But don't think for a second you have control over it. I don't want to see you here and I don't want to see you hurt anyone, the least of all your family."

Boruto instantly stopped shaking his foot. All this time he thought that the danger was out there and he was just luring it toward them, but maybe he was the real danger. He had been saying he had it under control for so long but even Sasuke didn't believe him anymore on their travels. Kawaki was also the person who would know that more than anyone, and even if he didn't want anything to do with him anymore, at the end of the day the boy shackled to this cell knew what he was feeling better than anyone ever could. So if Kawaki was warning him and no one else was buying his lies…?

"And if what people are saying about Sarada is true, you and her together I mean, do I even have to spell it out? You all are targets."

The blonde refused to look up at Kawaki and give him any more confirmation or satisfaction than he already had. "Is that it?" he asked quietly after a moment, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "You brought me here just to tell me I'm a danger to myself and being targeted? Thanks but no thanks, Kawaki, I already have this under-"

"You have nothing under control, you dumb fuck. I wanted you to know that it's a lot closer than you think so you need to watch your back a little better. Like I said, I don't want to see you in here. I'd never forgive myself. ...Not like I ever will anyway." He then leaned back again into the shadows and Boruto could no longer see the face of the boy he used to know.

He couldn't fully empathize with the underlying pain lacing through Kawaki's voice, but Boruto was beginning to understand the urgency of Kawaki bringing him here. It was like he was suddenly seeing himself in a new light for the first time as he observed the dark outline of Kawaki's chains and saw himself instead shackled to the cell. Maybe he was going about this all wrong. This whole time he thought he was a sitting duck and attracting people to the village, but maybe he was the one who was the ultimate problem all along and the problem was already in the village. It was foolish of him to think he was any different than Kawaki, wasn't it? Either he could wait in the village and lose more pieces of himself until he tried to take his children himself and landed himself here, or he could wait for someone else to get there and do the job for him. Or he could go out again and attract more people just as he did when he left with Sasuke… but at least he wouldn't be the threat anymore. Those were his two options and neither were ideal.

This whole time he needed to be in charge and needed to be the one to handle everything on his own, but staring out at his friend shackled to the cell again made him suddenly queasy- he was one step away from ending up in here. So if he wanted to be able to be around his family and escape the same fate as Kawaki… maybe he needed to accept that what Kawaki, simultaneously his brother and worst enemy, was saying was true. But even if it was true, that didn't make it easier.

He wished he could just grab Kawaki and hug him and ask him to help him. If he needed someone to open his eyes to this, then he really couldn't do it on his own. After the week he just had, the cracks in his resolve were starting to widen and he just wanted something to go back to normal again since the rest of his life could not. Sarada's image from the night before suddenly flashed in his mind and he remembered her begging for normalcy. He could empathize with what she felt now, the desperation of everything they knew slipping through their fingers and not knowing how to pick it up. It was hard to stomach the thought of having Kawaki here, living off rumors from strange men and never being able to actually know his children; so much for a birth announcement. Kawaki should be at home, helping him on the front lines and fortifying what strength he did have. But he just had to leave him in this cell with strangers and once again pick up the pieces himself.

If Kawaki was there maybe he never would have said the stupid shit he did to push Sarada away, maybe he wouldn't have messed anything up because he could have shared this responsibility. He could more easily go back to the suppression pills because someone else could be there at the frontlines with the same power. But Kawaki was here and Boruto was alone and he had decisions to make alone.

"Time is up." Boruto was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the guard scouring from the doorway. He stood and turned around one last time to look at Kawaki, but the other boy had already turned to face the wall away from the guard. He left without saying goodbye.

Naruto was busy with his own work when the team reconvened in his office later that evening once the rest of the building was closed for the night. He could see the exhaustion in his son's face as he slunk into a chair at the front of his desk without saying a word; he had been spending a lot of time there lately, but this time he could tell by the worried lines etched on Boruto's face that they actually had some answers.

"How was your visit?" he tiptoed tentatively to ease the tension that was building in the room, but Boruto's eyes flashed up at him and he knew he hit a red button.

"Somebody knows about me, which we already knew," he grumbled. "We just don't know how. But Mitsuki was wrong- somebody does know about Sarada."

Naruto's eyes widened but he couldn't really say he was actually surprised. He knew something like this would happen eventually. They took the precautions, and now they needed to double down on security and figure out how to fight back.

"What exactly did he say about you?" he asked.

Boruto slumped further into his chair and absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair. "He said..." he started quietly, "He said that if someone knew about me then the karma was probably getting stronger again. I, uh. I think I need to go back on those pills…" His voice trailed off at the end and Naruto had to lean forward to catch his last words.

"The pills, huh," he echoed solemnly.

Boruto didn't react.

He pushed further. "How do you feel about that?"

His son just shrugged. "I'll lose a little power, I'll be a little weaker for a while. But it might be for the best."

"So probably no missions for a while then," Naruto stated quietly. He knew that would get Boruto to react, but all he saw was his fingers twitch to grip the sides of his chair.

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't, y'know?"

Naruto sighed. He hated seeing his son like this. He knew if Boruto had his way he'd be long out of the village. But maybe this was a good lesson in leaning on others.

"Well Sarada will eventually be healed enough to go back out. We're not too concerned here. We've vetted who we can and I'm sure we'll discover more in the coming days. Why don't you go home and rest and I'll see what I can do about the pills for tomorrow, okay? Sai, will you stay a second?"

Boruto couldn't get out of his father's office fast enough. He knew he was keeping Sai and the others to hear more about what Boruto was clearly not saying, but he just didn't want to speak anymore. He was exhausted. If anything he needed a long break.

Outside the building he stopped. He didn't know where to go. Sarada made it clear she didn't want to talk to him this morning and he didn't even have enough time to tell her where he was going, so he definitely didn't want to go home. He didn't want to hear any kind of soft lecture from Mitsuki whose bluntness he couldn't handle right now. He definitely didn't want to hear any bitching from Konohamaru's side that he was sure to get after Sarada visited them; they could easily see if something was wrong with the two of them, and he just couldn't deal with anyone right now. Where could he go?

"Whoa, wasn't expecting you here!" A familiar voice brought him back to himself and he looked up to see Shikadai, Inojin, and Cho Cho walking his way. They looked like they were fresh back from a mission, carrying bags and smudged with dirt.

"I've heard you've been a little MIA lately," Shikadai continued as they approached him on the stairs. "I guess a little congratulations is needed. Haven't been able to find you to talk to you."

At once Boruto could feel his body relax. "Well good thing for you I'm free right now," he quipped. "Want to grab a drink?"

"I still don't know if this is a good idea…" Inojin announced as they sat on stools at a bar in the heart of the village. He glanced around at the people beginning to buzz around them who were clearly more familiar and more comfortable with the atmosphere than the four teenagers.

But Boruto had already made his mind up, and they all knew that once he was set to do something, there wasn't much they could do to disway him. It was best if they just went along and made sure he didn't make a fool of himself.

"Of course it's a good idea," Boruto said, slamming money on the counter as confidently as he could manage; he had seen people do this on his long mission with Sasuke when they would stake out seedy establishments. Sasuke never drank nor allowed him to order anything, but alcohol clearly did wonders to help others relax, so why not try it himself?

"You're the Hokage's son," Shikadai pointed out. "Shouldn't you care a little more about being seen or getting into trouble right now? My dad told me what happened last week. Shouldn't you be trying to keep a lower profile?"

"At this point it doesn't even matter," Boruto replied. "That's already been blown. Plus maybe we can use this as an excuse to do some recon- yeah, we'll take four beers please."

The bartender standing in front of him eyed the four for a beat, taking in the three who were biting their bottom lip nervously and flanking either side of the one who looked suspiciously like the Hokage's son and the boy who saved their village almost two years before. Finally he must have decided he didn't care because he swooped up the money laying in front of him and wordlessly began pouring the closest beer on draught.

"So why the sudden interest in alcohol?" Cho Cho scoffed as the four glasses were set in front of them. Though the girl was social, her whole team abided strictly by the shinobi laws and she wanted to ditch the empty calories from alcohol for food she actually liked. She watched Boruto pick up his glass and down it without taking a breath.

"I'd just like to relax a little, unwind," he said matter-of-factly, and raised a hand to flag down the bartender again. "Is that too much to ask?"

"I've seen you unwind and I've never seen you do this," Shikadai said. "Drinking doesn't solve anything. I'm worried about you. This isn't like you. My dad said you've been a little...stressed lately when you've come into your dad's office."

"Oh, so you talk about me?" he teased. "I'll take a shot of sake, please- actually make that two."

"Well big things have kind of been happening for you lately, don't you think?" Shikadai continued.

Boruto didn't wait to take the shot to respond to his friend, and downed one before slamming the glass back on the table then turned to look pointedly at Shikadai. He propped his elbow up on the counter and leaned his head casually on it. "If you must know," he replied, "I saw Kawaki today."

"Oh, wait, shit, what-" The team of three began to sputter and Boruto took the time to swallow the second one. Let them fall over themselves.

"So yeah, if I want to drink after the day, and week, and month, and year that I've had, let me. I thought it would be nice to invite you along. If you don't want to drink then fine, but I'd appreciate not having to hear you on my case too." He turned again to flag down the bartender and ignored them exchanging glances. But at least they didn't fight him again.

It was almost instantly that he could feel his heart rate slow and head begin to float. The decisions he had to make suddenly seemed less urgent and he could understand now why he watched a lot of jonin make their way downtown after coming back from particularly hard missions. He almost kicked himself for not trying this before.

The urge to talk suddenly overtook him again and for the first time since he came back home he felt like he could laugh. The liquid swimming in his veins transformed his whole outlook, and the serenity melting over his brain transformed him to the last time he felt that way: he was twelve again- no one was after him, he didn't even know Kawaki- he could just hang out with his friends, his future was what he made of it.

It was easy to ignore the shifting glances of his friends, and the ones of disdain of Cho Cho, as they slowly sipped their beers and watched him continue to down shots until his sight became blurry. There. It was even easier to ignore their faces than before because now he couldn't even see them. He felt like he was back in school with everyone's judgmental stares, counting him down, ruling him out. Why did everyone always seem to care what he did? But he'd show them, just like he did before. When push came to shove he could be the hero, he didn't need to stand in his dad's shadow.

He wasn't a threat. He was the hero.

The hero.

What was he so worried about? There wasn't anything to be concerned about. He was soon going to be a genin and had his entire career ahead of him. He didn't need to worry about the karma— because what even was the karma? There was no need to be scared when the world was his for the taking.

Each shot pushed the memory of his meeting that day further and further down, mixing that worry with the burn of the liquid until all he could feel was fire numbing him. Whatever meeting he had earlier that day suddenly felt like lightyears away the more shots he took, and he suddenly couldn't even remember the name of who he had even talked to. Did he even talk to anyone? Did he dream that? Why would he have needed to leave the village in the first place? Everything was normal, fine, just like it always was.

"No, sorry, you're cut off." Boruto snapped back to himself as the bartender in front of him shook his head and began to clear off the collection of glasses he had accumulated in front of him- at least that's what he thought he was seeing.

"Wait, what?" He didn't recognize the whine in his voice.

"You've had too much," the bartender repeated sternly and turned away.

"You can't do that!" he slurred loudly.

Shikadai grabbed the back of his shirt and started to pull him up from the stool but he wriggled out of his grip and slammed his hands against the counter. "Please, I'm fine, just one more-"

"Absolutely not."

He began to recognize shuffling and the sound of whispers around him, but he still didn't attribute it to himself. What could be the problem if he felt better than he had in years-

"Hey, Hokage's kid, he said you're done," an unfamiliar voice growled to his left.

"Shit," he heard Shikadai mutter but his own brain melted down, and all he could see was red in front of him.

Boruto jerked his whole body to face a gaggle of men- actual men, jonin he vaguely recognized- scowling down at him. He tried to step off his stool to confront them but his legs betrayed him and instantly turned to jelly, almost bringing him to his knees. Grabbing the bar, he tried to steady himself against their roaring laughter and dizziness.

"Time to take your kid home," the one who called him 'Hokage's kid' peered above his head and laughed to one of his friends behind him. He didn't look the least bit concerned about Boruto standing in front of him.

"What the fuck did you call me?" Boruto spat.

The man raised an eyebrow and looked down at him. "You're the Hokage's kid, right?" he asked, bored.

He wasn't the Hokage's kid. He was impervious, impenetrable, indestructible. He was Boruto Uzumaki.

He was the hero.

Without thinking he lunged forward, wrapping his arms around the jonin's waist and using all of the force he could muster to take the man to the ground. His legs gelatinized again and he more fell into the man than actually tackled him, but he guessed it did the trick because the man crashed into the table behind him and the two flailed out onto the ground. Boruto took the opportunity to try to straddle him and began wailing at his face before the man could gather his senses and skills to disarm him. He almost didn't feel the sharp sting to his nose or warm blood beginning to gush onto the front of his shirt as he continued to try to make contact with the man's face, even as the man flipped him off and held him down. All he could focus on was making him regret his comment.

"Get him out of here before I kill him!" the jonin barked at Inojin and Shikadai. Suddenly Boruto could feel his body dragging across the floor then slung over someone's shoulder. The person's shoulder hit him in the chest and he felt the sudden urge to vomit.

Suddenly another familiar voice cut through the crowd, yelling his name, but his head was too heavy to see who it was.

"BORUTO."

His tingling face was suddenly grabbed on both sides and pulled up until he was staring into two red eyes. Sarada.

This time he couldn't swallow the bile making his way up his throat and threw up all over her shoes.

It took all of his strength to sit upright on the curb while Sarada, Shikadai, Inojin, and Cho Cho whispered loudly to each other. He didn't know how long they were talking and just tried to focus on his composure and how he'd explain himself to Sarada. Outside on the dark cold street he bobbed to the fuzziness coursing through his veins, too drunk to fully catch a thought. As the cold air stung his what he suspected now was a broken nose, he realized he was stuck firmly in a fault line where the past and present were now colliding; the elation and confidence he felt earlier drained with each passing second and the shameful realization of what he had done set in: he wasn't twelve, he had fucked up, he was a danger to himself and others, his brother was gone. It wasn't the past. He wasn't untouchable.

He was sitting on a street corner, drunk, while his partner recovering from giving birth had to come get him. Could he get any lower than this?

"No, I've got him, it's okay." He heard Sarada's voice loom over him and felt a cool hand try to lift him by the waist.

"You have puke all over you," Cho Cho said monotone.

"It's really okay. You all go home. We're just right around the corner from his house."

"Call us if you need us…" Shikadai's voice moved away as he spoke, and Boruto tried to focus his eyes enough to watch the three begin to walk down the road away from them. He was left alone on the frozen street with Sarada.

He tried to open his mouth but his tongue was swollen and made of cotton and made talking difficult. "How d'you know-"

"Cho Cho came to get me." Her tone was ice as she let his waist go and sat down next to him.

"Oh."

"She figured you'd listen to me. Your mom wanted to come, but I made her stay with the baby."

His face burned in embarrassment and he turned away from her, unable to bear the disappointment he knew he caused. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

A gentle hand cupped his chin and tilted it to look at her again. Her eyes were still lava trying to melt him under her stare, but her gentle touch gave her away that she wasn't as mad as she looked.

"Tell me why, Boruto."

Why? It was the question of the night even he didn't know how to answer. How could he tell her it was to feel normal when he just told her yesterday they'd never go back to that? "I needed...reprieve," he finally settled on.

"Reprieve from what?" she cried. "This isn't like you. I've never seen you act out like this! Do you know how scared I was when Cho Cho said you were in a fight? In a bar? I hadn't seen you all day and that's what you were doing?"

He couldn't hide the shame creeping up the sides of his face and pulled away from her cold fingertips so he didn't have to look at the worry in her eyes anymore.

"I saw K'waki today…" he slurred, focusing instead on the puddle of melting snow illuminated by the streetlamp in front of him. He didn't want to see what her face would be then when she found out where he'd been.

"Wait, what?" The shock in her voice was palpable. "You saw who today?"

"Kawaki." He suddenly felt like he was going to fall over onto the streets as the last of the alcohol hit him. "He wanted to see me, so I went. He-he said people know about us, Sarada... and the kids." He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "And after how we left off last night too? I just needed to let off some steam or-or try to just forget something. Life fucking sucks right now and I don't know how make it better!"

Sarada watched Boruto's shoulders begin to shake and was suddenly at a loss for words. She came here thinking she'd have to carry him home and potentially risk her own recovery, but she didn't think he'd have a real excuse for this. She wanted to reach for a glass too.

"I can see why you'd drink…" she murmured.

Boruto sniffed. "You can?"

"Mhm." She perched the best she could beside him, placing a hand on his lower back to try to keep him from swaying. "Seeing Kawaki would make me want to drink too... after everything..."

"It's not what you think though," he sniffed again, wiping his nose and smearing blood across his cheek.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I need to go back on the pills. I think… I think I need help."

She gripped the back of his shirt tighter as she whispered, "You mean the pills…?"

Boruto nodded shakily. "Yeah," he whimpered. "It's getting bad again and I can't risk losing control of myself. Do you know what would happen? I could kill you. I could kill them."

Sarada was silent for a moment, trying and failing to catch her thoughts. She suddenly felt lightheaded. This whole week she had only been focused on trying to stay afloat in her own life and get used to the upheaval of being a mother; while doing this she had made him into her enemy because he just didn't seem as affected as she was. When she asked to keep her looped in, treating her the same as he always had, she wasn't actually thinking about the weight of his own changes and how he really was affected. To her it just seemed like he was ignoring her, disregarding her. She had missed the signs. But how was she supposed to read them if they had been away from each other for so long in the first place? They needed a reset.

"You wouldn't do that," she finally replied. "You're getting the help you need and if you can't then I'll get it for you. I told you yesterday that I want to be a team again and we will be. You don't need to worry about anything happening because I have your back. I got you."

Sarada released the back of his shirt again and pulled him to her until her arms were wound tightly around him. She could feel him vibrating, from the cold or stress she didn't know, but she didn't care- she just needed him to feel he wasn't alone.

"I'm sorry we somehow always end up here," he said, his voice muffled into Sarada's shoulder. She could feel hot tears seeping through her shirt."When I came home I cried on your kitchen floor. I just keep messing up, with you a-and with everything-"

"No, you don't," she tried to soothe.

"Yes I have. I have been an absolute failure. I failed you a-and you're mad at me a-and-."

Sarada pulled away to lift his face at level with hers again. "I think we're just going to keep being here until you tell me what really happened while you were gone. It wasn't like this when you left."

She could feel Boruto tense beside her, something willing through his brain she didn't have access to. "I just really tried, Sarada. Your dad and I didn't get anywhere- I told you that. I didn't save anyone. And this whole time I was scared I wouldn't be able to save anyone here either, but now...after talking to Kawaki… what if I'm the threat? I can't put you through that…" His head began to swim and it became harder again to put his thoughts to words. "I just want things to go back to normal now."

"You're not putting me through anything except if you don't let me in. Remember, I'm not one of them- I'm your partner. And remember what you said last night… About how we can't go back to normal? Too much has changed and we can only go forward, and you getting help is going forward. We have kids to worry about now and I think you getting help to make sure they are safe and taken care of is the right choice."

Boruto's head began to weigh heavy again and he let himself put his head forward on her shoulder again. She reached a hand up and began softly petting his hair until she could feel his body's weight begin to melt into her. Around them they could hear the light laughter from patrons inside the restaurants and bars, but to Sarada it felt like they were back in their own world where no one could touch them. It felt normal again.

"I don't know why I thought I could handle this on my own," he said after a minute of silence.

"I know."

"I was stupid."

"I know."

"Hey, Sarada?"

"Hm?"

"I really miss Kawaki."

"I know, me too." She paused for a moment, wondering if she should continue. "But you know what?"

"Hm?"

"I missed you more." Her hand stopped playing with his hair and paused on the back of his head. "Please take the pills, Boruto. I don't want to lose you too."

The heaviness in Boruto's head relaxed his judgment, and before he could remember he had recently puked he reached up to grab either both sides of her face and smashed his lips to her. He let his urgency and the exhaustion of the last week pour from his lips as his fingertips traveled up to her hair, and Sarada greedily drank it up without question.

Sarada instantly realized that this time was different than when he kissed her when he came home; this time he wasn't holding back. This was the Boruto she knew, letting her in, seeking her out.

Maybe he did realize he needed her, she thought, vaguely aware of the blood smearing from his face onto hers, and maybe he did want her. Maybe they both weren't as lost as she thought they were. She tried to remember the night before and what she was so worried about, but his lips against hers distracted all thoughts and she allowed herself to drown in his arms until she didn't know where she stopped and he began.

Finally Boruto broke away first, his breath coming out in soft pants. "Sorry, I'm sorry," he gasped for air, "I wasn't thinking."

Sarada laughed. "Don't apologize for that. Maybe other things, but never that." She pulled him in for one more kiss, then let him go to wipe away the remaining blood smeared even further across his cheeks.

Boruto's eyes shined as he let her gently clean his face. "Why do you keep coming back to me?" he asked quietly. "I don't deserve it."

"Why wouldn't you deserve it? This is kind of what I signed up for."

"And you know," she added, rubbing his face gently with the sleeve of her coat, "I'm actually really glad you'll be home for a while, if that's what taking the suppression pills again means. My mom said Satoshi can be released this week."

Boruto's eyes lit up. "What?!" he cried. "Like...like he's coming home?"

"Yeah!"

It was almost too much for his brain and he could feel a large grin spread out onto his face. "So...so it'll be the four of us. We'll all be together. Like a family."

"Yeah. A family."

A family. His gut told him not to say it, but he had already come so far and she didn't seem to mind the other impulsive decision he made by kissing her. "Hey..." he ventured. "I know I, like, kind of scared you or whatever yesterday… But I did mean it. What I said. About wanting you to be my husband- I mean me be your wife- I mean me be your husband and you be-" He huffed in desperation, still too drunk to overcome his fluster.

"What I'm trying to say," he finally managed to choke out, "is that I want this family with you. A-and I know we haven't had a lot of time together the last few months, and things haven't been the best since the kids were born, but I really do love you and I should have told you about Sensei and Mitsuki, and I think we can really do this, and I know-"

"Shh." Sarada giggled and held up a finger to his lips. "Stop babbling. I think you're a little too drunk right now for a proposal if that's what this is."

Boruto frowned and opened his mouth again to protest but Sarada pushed her index finger further into his lips. "I'm not done yet. I did some thinking too and, well…" Her own cheeks started to burn red and she hurriedly looked away toward the ninjas stumbling out of a neighboring bar. "If you still want to do this sober… I think… I think I might want to marry you too."

He sucked in a breath. "You...you do?"

"Mhm." She turned her face away, slightly embarrassed. As much as she liked to be straightforward, this was still uncharted territory for her. "I think… I think that we're already doing life together at this point and, um, well, if you keep letting me in like this… I think we can really do it, too."

She turned back to sheepishly meet his eyes and they sat on the edge of the street for a beat longer, hearts once again beating rapidly in time with the other. It reminded Sarada of when she decided definitively on keeping the babies and how they both felt themselves move toward this new mission together. Now they had their babies and so much had changed, yet the only thing that hadn't was the two of them choosing each other, even as the world chaotically swirled around them.

"Let's go home," she finally said and reached out a hand to help him up. He wobbled on his feet and she placed an arm around his waist to steady him while he tried to orient himself to his now-spinning surroundings.

"Sorry I threw up on you," he slurred, trying to swallow down another rapidly rising ball in his throat.

"It's just payback for me throwing up on you when I found out I was pregnant," she laughed lowly, and began to guide them slowly toward the Uzumaki household, Boruto's arm now around her shoulder to try to stay upright. Until that moment she had completely forgotten about that.

Maybe she was a little more sore than usual. And maybe he was swaying because he was intoxicated, not injured. But either way it was a situation they had been in in so many previous battles and missions, yet now it felt like they were actively moving toward a new future together.