Chapter 4: Opportunistic Manouvre

Kinch knew it was about Tiger from the moment the Colonel strode through the door into the Barracks.

Sure enough, he said, 'Kinch, contact the Underground and check on Tiger.'

'What's the matter, colonel?' Kinch asked.

'When the girls were in town, the Duchess asked Hilda about her.'

That…didn't sound good.

HH

Mediterranean Sea

When the attack started, Varney strode down onto the bridge.

'Commander!' he bellowed. 'Did you take that shortcut you were told not to take?'

'I will have none of this, Lieutenant-Commander!' his Commander yelled back. 'Do you want to be shot for insubordination?'

'If we're not shot by the three U-Boats surrounding us first!' Varney barked out. 'Bloody Hell, old man! It isn't the country club!' He spun around and threw his hands up. 'You'd think by now we British would stop giving officer commissions to people based on social rank!'

He watched in amusement as several of the Midshipmen made efforts to hide their laughter.

Varney turned to the Lieutenant. 'Faulkner, start evacuating the ship.' He ignored his superior spluttering behind him. He had just what might be an idea. They needed someone in Stalag 13 to nudge Hogan's Heroes in the correct direction. With a bit of luck, they could keep Hogan from ever entering that warehouse. As Varney gave them instructions, he sent out a message. It was in Morse code, but in an altered version of Morse code – that the four of them had worked out between themselves.

HH

Germany

When he heard the telegram machine go off, he set down his book (forbidden by the Third Reich, and most other copies burned), the Count walked upstairs. The telegram stopped as he entered the room. He yanked it off of the machine and immediately recognised the odd ordering as their altered Morse code.

Under attack. Gonna get myself captured. Have me shipped to Operation Unsung Heroes.

The Count smirked. 'Brilliant.'

HH

Berline

'So, why is the Commander being kept in a camp in Italy while the Lieutenant-Commander is sent to Stalag 13?'

General Burkhalter smirked. 'Because the Commander is just an upper-class twit. The Lieutenant-Commander, on the other hand, got the rest of the men out before the battleship was destroyed and left us with capturing only two men.'

'And you trust Klink with him?'

Burkhalter sneered. 'Klink's an idiot, but he still has his perfect no-escape record.'

HH

Stalag 13

The gates swung open and a truck drove through.

Hogan inclined his head as his men gathered at his back. He started the slow wander forward. Shultz walked over and hustled a single new prisoner out of the back of the truck. The prisoner folded his arms and looked around the camp in the way that new arrivals did. The uniform wasn't overly familiar to him, but it was to Newkirk.

'Royal Navy,' he said.

'Bit far inland, isn't he?' Hogan strode across to greet the new prisoner. The man turned as he approached. He turned and saluted. Hogan returned the salute. 'Col. Hogan, senior POW.'

'Lieutenant-Commander Varney, Royal Navy.' The man spoke in the same kind of accent as Crittenden, but without the sense of being a total nitwit.

'Ship?' Hogan asked.

'HMS Greyson.'

'Ah.' Hogan nodded. 'Yeah. How did Greg Holliday get off?'

Varney cocked an eyebrow. 'There was no Greg Holliday on the Greyson.'

Hogan nodded and turned back to his men. 'He's clear.'

Comprehension flickered in Varney's eyes and he grinned in amusement. 'I guess they do try to sneak them in now and again.'

Yup. Definitely smarter than Crittenden. 'Occasionally, yeah. So, what happened?'

'Col. Hogan, please!' Shultz said. 'I have to take him to Kommandant Klink!'

Varney, for his part, completely ignored him. 'Commander decided to take a shortcut he'd been explicitly told not to take. Needless to say, it didn't end well. I might've gone a bit far to get the men out.'

'No such thing.' That was what Hogan liked to hear. And it looked like this guy had to serve under a twit of a superior. And it did explain why they'd decided to ship him so far inland and to Stalag 13.

'Col. Hogan, please!' Shultz groaned.

'Remember, Lieutenant-Commander,' Hogan said. 'Name, rank, and serial number.'

Varney grinned and nodded. He let Shultz lead him up the steps to the door. At that moment, the Duchess stepped out of the building. She sidestepped. She looked at Varney and he looked at her. Hogan frowned. The Duchess dropped her head and her lips moved. She was probably just muttering to herself.

Varney was taken inside and the Duchess stepped off the porch.

'Duchess,' Hogan said.

She looked up at him in mild interest. It was the same look she'd given him since she came here. Then, something in her face suddenly changed. He didn't doubt she'd picked up something from his expression. He didn't particularly care right now. He had to find out why she had wanted information on Tiger.

The Duchess straightened up and faced him fully. 'Yes, Col. Hogan.' At least she didn't try to flirt.

'I heard a rumour floating around,' Hogan said. Better to set it out as just a rumour he heard.

She said nothing. It was as if she knew she was on thin ice.

'What is your interest in a person called Tiger?'

A resigned look came onto her face. 'Mine? None.'

'Then why are you asking about her?' Hogan asked.

The Duchess frowned and closed her eyes. 'If I wanted the answer to that, I should look in the Lutheran church…but I shouldn't wish to go myself. I'd probably send people who are hard to see.'

Turning on her heel, she quickly moved to her car and drove out of the camp.

HH

'You're really going to do it, Colonel?' LeBeau asked.

'Tonight,' Hogan said. 'You and Kinch are going to sneak into that church and take a look around.'

'What if it's a trap?' Kinch asked.

'That's why Newkirk, Carter, and I will be following you,' Hogan said. 'You run into any trouble, fire your guns.'

'So what happens if there is something in that church?' Carter asked.

'Then, obviously, the Duchess is either playing both sides, or she's on ours,' Hogan said. 'She's been giving Klink the run-around as badly as we do. Sure would be nice to know what she and that Count talk about on the phone.'

'Why doesn't she just speak English?' Carter asked.

Newkirk gave him a flat look. 'I imagine that defeats the purpose of not being understood.' He suddenly turned back to the Colonel. 'Here, wouldn't that mean she knows her phone's being tapped?'

Hogan nodded. 'She either knows it or is unwilling to take the risk. And if she knows, the odds are the Count knows too.'

'Do you think she's really waiting on the Count?' LeBeau asked.

'I doubt it,' Hogan said. He turned and headed outside the Barracks. The men followed him. 'She just said that to make Klink let her stay here. She's a Duchess, so she was probably banking on one of her Count friends to complete her cover story. We just have to find out why. Kinch, we any closer to translating that thing yet?'

'No, colonel.'

'Translating what?'

They'd been wandering past Barracks 3. Varney was leaning against the end of it by now. He'd evidently been taking everything in.

Hogan inclined his head. 'Know any obscure dialects?'

'A few,' Varney said.

'How come?' Newkirk asked.

'I'm a toff,' Varney said with a shrug. 'Dad took me all over Europe as a kid.' He rubbed over his heart for some reason. Might've been just a tick, but Hogan made a mental note to have Wilson check him out.

In the meantime, he had to make a decision. 'What would you say if you found a spy ring?'

Varney grinned. 'Can I sign up?'

The other men around him chuckled.

'Oh, wait. There is one actually here, isn't there?'

'Yeah,' Hogan said. 'And we've intercepted a series of phone calls being spoken in a language no one seems to know.'

Kinch pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and handed it over. Varney took it and looked at it. For a second, he squinted. Then, he chuckled and nodded. 'No wonder.'

'Can you read it?' Carter asked.

'Yeah.' Varney looked up. 'It's an obscure Wallachian dialect.'

'Wallachian?' Newkirk asked.

'Wallachia is the old name of a province in Romania,' Varney explained. 'It's called Muntenia now. It's also the territory once ruled over by Vlad the Impaler.'

'Isn't that the guy Dracula is based on?' LeBeau asked.

Varney's answer was flat. 'Yes.'

'What are they talking about?' Hogan asked, nodding to the paper.

'A rogue batch of Nazis in town,' Varney said. 'Seems they're camped out in the burnt-out warehouse closest to the Lutheran church.'