A/N: I'm back! So soon(ish)! It feels good, even though this chapter feels like a bit of a ride. Thanks so much for keeping up with this story, you all are amazing. I hope to update again soon.
Enjoy!
The beginning of summer was filled with relaxation. Hermione, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Draco spent most of their time lounging in the library or enjoying the grounds, sometimes together, sometimes alone. A serenity Hermione had never experienced before settled over her as she looked up at the sky, letting herself see shapes in the clouds. She was sprawled in the grass, partially in the shade. Her feet were bare, much to Narcissa's disapproval, but she had promised to clean them before coming back inside. For the moment, she was by herself, but she didn't mind. If she felt the need for company, all she had to do was ask for it. Soft footsteps rustled the grass, and Hermione turned her head to the source.
"Hermione, Dumbledore has called a meeting," Bellatrix said, sitting on the ground next to her, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes," she answered, pushing herself up, "I'm ready."
Bellatrix nodded, chewing her lip. "We leave in an hour."
"Bella," Hermione called when the older witch stood.
She paused, twisting to look at Hermione.
"Do you not want me to go?" she asked, insecurity creeping into her voice.
"I know how hard the memories can be for you. I'm scared it will trigger something bad," Bellatrix answered after a prolonged silence.
Hermione reached her hand out to Bellatrix, smiling when she took it and pulled her to her feet. "I'll be okay. You'll be there with me."
She smiled at Hermione. "Just want to make sure you're ready."
"It's worth it," she said, convinced she was making the right choice, "If it means we can stop him before he ever has a chance to do what he did, it's worth it all."
Bellatrix gave her a small nod, worry clear on her face. Hermione decided there was nothing she could do to ease that worry. She would always worry about her, that's what made this timeline different. Hermione threaded her fingers through Bellatrix's as they walked back to the house, almost forgetting to clean her feet before going inside. Bellatrix shot her a look that told her she was lucky to remember. They walked through the manor together until they reached their rooms across the corridor from each other.
When Hermione had stayed over Christmas, she had been in the guest wing, but Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Draco insisted that she stay in the permanent wing over the summer, and any time she visited. They didn't want her to feel like she wasn't welcome or didn't belong, and she was touched by the gesture. She had expected to stay in the room she originally was in and was fine with it, but they really did have a way of surprising her with how much they wanted her to be comfortable. The room was just as lavish as the guest room but felt more lived in, and she liked being across from Bellatrix just in case something happened.
Forty-five minutes later, Hermione was standing in the foyer, waiting for her turn to use the floo. Narcissa had gone first, Draco had followed her. Bellatrix was next, waiting until she had assured Hermione she would be right there in case something happened. Hermione hadn't been nervous before, but she grew increasingly nervous as she grabbed a handful of powder and stepped into the floo. Now she was worried something bad would happen when she got there. Summoning her courage, Hermione let go of the floo powder, saying her destination clearly.
Bellatrix was true to her word, helping Hermione get her bearings when she emerged. The room was empty aside from the two of them, but she could hear several other voices in another room. She looked around, familiarity nagging at her. No memories came to her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Bellatrix relaxed slightly when Hermione didn't immediately appear to fall into a memory. She nudged her forward, directing her to the room the voices were coming from. She recognized Molly and Arthur, Snape, Tonks, Sirius, and Remus.
"Kingsley Shacklebolt," a tall man with a deep voice introduced himself, pointing to the man who was supposed to have been her DADA professor, "That's Mad-Eye."
"Yes, we've met, but it wasn't really him. Hermione Granger," she replied, shaking the hand he offered.
"Welcome, Hermione," Kingsley said, "Good to see you, Bellatrix."
"And you, Kingsley. How's being an Auror?" Bellatrix greeted.
He shrugged, answering vaguely, "You know how it is."
"S'pose I have you and Mr. Malfoy to thank," Mad-Eye said, walking over.
"Just glad Voldemort didn't get a chance to return," Hermione said, her attention pulled away from the people in the room when she heard indistinct muttering from somewhere.
"That's just Kreacher," Sirius said, clapping her on the shoulder, "Good to see you again, Hermione. And you, Bella."
"Kreacher?" Hermione asked, turning her head to look out into the corridor. Her gut told her to investigate, but she wasn't sure why.
"Family house-elf. He talks to himself a lot, but don't pay it any mind," Sirius explained.
Hermione nodded, looking back out into the corridor. She shook off the feeling, accepting hugs from Molly, Arthur, Tonks, and Andromeda, and greeting Snape and Remus. Bellatrix observed her carefully, noticing how she kept glancing into the corridor. She could tell something about the house-elf was nagging at her, but it wasn't what he was saying because it wasn't clear enough to understand. When they had a spare moment, she pulled Hermione away from everyone else.
"Are you okay?" she whispered.
Hermione's brow furrowed and she cast a look past Bellatrix to the room she thought Kreacher might be in. "There's something there, but I don't know what."
"Something where?" Bellatrix asked, turning to follow Hermione's gaze.
"Kreacher," she answered, grabbing her wrist in a silent plea for her to go with her.
Hesitantly, she followed Hermione to the room Kreacher was currently in, grumbling to himself as he cleaned. Hermione stilled when she saw him, her eyes glazing over slightly.
"It's you," she said to him, "You had the locket, that's how we found out Regulus was R.A.B."
"Kreacher does not listen to mudbloods," he spat.
Hermione flinched, and Bellatrix commanded, "Kreacher, you will not address her as such."
"Yes, Mistress," he said, lowering his head with a scowl.
"Where is it?" Hermione asked, tightening her grip on Bellatrix's wrist.
Kreacher continued looking at the floor as he said, "Kreacher does not know what you are talking about."
"The locket," Hermione hissed, "You have the real one. Regulus replaced it with a fake and he told you to keep it safe."
Kreacher didn't answer her, keeping his gaze down. He had promised Master Regulus to keep it safe, and he intended to do that.
"Kreacher, bring it to us in the kitchen," Bellatrix said, not harshly, but firmly.
He nodded, shuffling out of the room. He couldn't disobey an order from a living member of the Black family, even if it went against his promise. Hermione felt Bellatrix tug on her arm, urging her back to the kitchen before the meeting started. Hermione followed her, looking back to cast a glance at Kreacher. He looked back at her and she was struck by the sorrow in his eyes. She had never realized how much he might care about Regulus, but they needed the locket so they could destroy it.
"Are you okay?" Bellatrix asked her before they reentered the room.
Hermione nodded, turning to her. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...a little distracted by everything."
"Do you want me to take you home?"
"No. I'm fine, really, Bella," Hermione insisted.
"Okay," she whispered, "Come on, then."
Hermione took a deep breath, entering the room next to Bellatrix. The rest of the Order members were chatting idly, waiting for Dumbledore to begin. Hermione and Bellatrix sat next to each other between Narcissa and Andromeda. Dumbledore looked at them all, his eyes twinkling. Minerva sat next to him, exchanging looks with Snape.
"Welcome, everyone," he began, "We have two new members with us today, Draco and Hermione, who have been instrumental in making sure Voldemort is unable to return. With Hermione's unique knowledge, we now know that Voldemort has created 7 Horcruxes, one of which has already been destroyed, if memory serves, in the Chamber of Secrets. Hermione?"
"Right," Hermione muttered to herself, pulling out her journal and beginning, "I remember six of the original Horcruxes, but I can't say for certain they'll all be the same. There's his diary, which Harry already destroyed, Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem, Nagini, Helga Hufflepuff's cup, Salazar Slytherin's locket, and Harry."
She paused, taking a deep breath. "I don't remember the seventh, and I only know for certain where the locket is. But I have reason to believe that the cup is in the Lestrange vault."
"I'm sorry, I must've misheard you," Minerva said, "Did you say Harry is a Horcrux?"
Hermione nodded, suddenly feeling very small. "I wrote it down that Harry was killed by Voldemort, but he survived. He told me about what he saw while he was dead, and I, obviously, am not entirely positive, but I don't think I'm wrong."
Molly and Arthur whispered to each other, and an expression crossed over Sirius's face that she couldn't read before Dumbledore asked, "But the locket?"
"Yes," she said, grateful for the shift away from Harry, "I remembered only a few minutes ago."
"Where is it?" Kingsley asked.
Kreacher trudged into the kitchen, sending Hermione an angry look. "The locket."
When Draco, who was closest to Kreacher, reached for it, the house-elf pulled it to his chest, glaring at him.
"Kreacher," Sirius warned.
"Yes, Master," he grumbled, apologizing to Draco but still not letting him take it.
He climbed onto the table, setting it down in front of them and skulking away, grumbling to himself. They looked at it, none of them making a move to touch it. Hermione could feel the dark magic radiating from it, almost as if it were calling to her. Was it possible the locket knew her even though she had never borne it in this timeline?
"How do we destroy it?" Moody asked, eyeing it warily.
Hermione shook her head, not tearing her gaze away from it. "I don't remember how we destroyed them, yet."
"Try," Molly encouraged gently.
"I have been," Hermione said, tearing her gaze away from the locket to look at her, "I can't control when I remember, they just happen, that's why I write them down. Until the memory is triggered, there isn't anything I can do."
"Could we intentionally trigger the memories? Or use Legillimancy?" Sirius suggested.
"Absolutely not!" Narcissa, Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Minerva chorused, all looking at each other in mild surprise.
Bellatrix continued, "I have been working with Hermione to try to improve her control, but if you so much as dare to pull them from her by force, I will hex you into oblivion, even if you are my cousin. The damage it would do to her mind is inconceivable."
Hermione immediately realized something wasn't right. Tensions were rising at an alarming rate, and no one seemed to notice. Her gaze was drawn back to the locket, and she didn't know how, but she knew it was the reason. It was close enough to touch if she just reached out. Hermione paused right before her fingers made contact with the locket, urging her hand not to tremble as she closed her hand around it.
"I know you, girl," something whispered in her head, "I know your presence."
"Where am I?" she thought, looking around.
She was in an old house, only she wasn't really, but there were people around her, sometimes moving through her. She thought she recognized one of them, though she didn't know exactly what Voldemort looked like. His presence seemed to scream evil wizard, and she found herself recoiling.
"This is how I came to be a Horcrux."
"You're...Voldemort? Part of him?"
"I am now. I can only be opened by a Parseltongue, that is the only way to expose the dark fragment of his soul held within. You are no Parseltongue, but I have known you before, haven't I?"
Hermione watched as a man was forced to his knees in front of Voldemort, held in place by two people she assumed to be Death Eaters. "I bore your burden in another timeline with my friend Harry until we were able to destroy you."
There was no response from the locket, and she watched with morbid curiosity as Voldemort opened the locket in the memory. He set it in front of the man, who, Hermione could now see, seemed to be pleading for his life. There was no sound in the...memory? She supposed it was a memory. A shiver ran through her as a bolt shot out of Voldemort's wand, hitting the begging man in the chest. He crumpled to the floor when the Death Eaters let go, and she shivered at the sight. Something dark swirled in the open locket before it snapped shut.
"Why are you showing me this?" Hermione asked.
"So you know how I was made. You must stop him."
"Aren't you bound to him, why are you helping me?" Hermione felt like she was moving further from the memory, and she struggled to stay until she had the answers she sought.
"I never should have become this monstrosity. Promise to destroy the darkness I hold, and I will open at your touch."
"I promise," she said, another question on her lips before the memory was gone.
Bellatrix felt more than saw Hermione go limp beside her. She immediately turned to her, abandoning the argument they were all having. It took a few moments for the strange anger she felt to fade, and a few moments more for everyone else. In that time, she had traced her eyes to Hermione's hand, closed firmly around the locket. It clicked in her brain at that moment. The dark magic of the Horcrux had been seeping into the air, amplifying their negative emotions just like Hermione had told her it did. With Hermione's hand closed around it, she was cutting it off from them at the risk of herself.
"Don't touch it!" she warned when Kingsley went to pry it from her hand.
He pulled his hand back as if he had been burned.
"We need to get it out of her hand," Snape said.
"Hermione told me it amplifies negative emotions, that's why we were arguing," Bellatrix explained, "I don't know what will happen to us if we touch it."
"We can't let her keep holding onto it, Bellatrix," Narcissa reasoned.
"I know!" she cried, trying to think of a solution, "Kreacher!"
The house-elf appeared with a pop. "Yes, Mistress?"
"Can you get the locket out of her hand?" Bellatrix asked.
He hopped onto the table, approaching Hermione with narrowed eyes. He stooped down, grabbing the chain and tugging on it lightly. When it didn't come free from her hand, he pulled harder, grunting with the effort.
"Bella," Andromeda breathed, "We have no idea what pulling it out of her hand will do."
"See if you can get her hand open without touching it," she instructed.
Molly leaned forward, trying to pull some of Hermione's fingers off the locket. Tonks leaned forward to help, looking hesitantly at the brunette. Bellatrix prepared herself for everything she could think of, sliding her arms under Hermione's and holding tightly to her. When Kreacher tugged the locket, Bellatrix pulled back, sending them both to the floor but succeeding in getting it out of Hermione's hand.
"Perhaps you should hold onto that for a while longer, Kreacher," Sirius said as the other occupants in the room breathed a sigh of relief.
"Until we find a way to destroy the Horcruxes, we should be careful about retrieving any of them. If we have any ideas, we can try them on the locket, but until we know for sure what will work, we should not attempt to retrieve any of them, given the effect they have on people. If we do manage to locate any of them, we will keep tabs on where they are. As long as Voldemort does not return, we do not need to rush to destroy them," Dumbledore said.
"What about Harry?" Sirius asked, the question echoed in everyone's mind.
Dumbledore paused, frowning at the table. "I do not know. I fear the burden of knowing what he is will be too much for him at this point, but I do not want to keep it from him."
"He's just a boy," Minerva said, "We should allow him a sense of normalcy while we can afford to."
"I agree. Until he joins the Order, we shouldn't tell him," Mad-Eye said.
Hermione stirred in Bellatrix's arms, hearing only the part about Harry and chiming in, "Voldemort has to be the one to do it, and it has to be last. Well, that's how it happened the first time."
"We have to let Voldemort kill him?" Snape asked skeptically as Bellatrix checked Hermione for any signs of injury.
"I don't remember the reason why, but I know there is one." Hermione rubbed her head, feeling a little disoriented.
"Are you okay, Hermione?" Draco asked.
She nodded, not very convincingly, as Andromeda helped her up and Narcissa helped Bellatrix up.
"Perhaps that's enough for today," Arthur suggested, "I'm sure we all need some time to process everything."
"Yes, that does sound beneficial to us all," Dumbledore agreed.
Bellatrix wasted no time leading her family to the front door. Hermione was in no state to travel by floo or Apparition, but she knew the brunette always had the key Narcissa had given her. She fumbled with the chain, trying to unclasp it before Draco undid it for her, dropping it into her hand.
"Thanks," she mumbled tiredly, fitting it into the lock and turning it.
The door swung open to reveal the entry to Black Manor, and Bellatrix ushered them all through it, making sure to grab the key from the door before she closed it. She pocketed it for now, scooping Hermione up.
"What are you doing?" she asked, nearly jumping out of her skin in surprise.
"Taking you to bed," Bellatrix answered as if it should be obvious.
Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Narcissa interrupted with, "No arguing about it. You should've seen what you looked like."
"Your whole body went limp except your hand, you looked half-dead," Andromeda provided.
"Almost thought you were," Bellatrix mumbled, loud enough for only Hermione to hear.
She looked at the ground, gripping Bellatrix when the older witch shifted her in her arms. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."
"As long as you're okay," Draco said.
She nodded, gripping Bellatrix even tighter when she started walking. She carried her easily, but Hermione was still nervous that she might trip or drop her.
"Please don't drop me," she whispered as Bellatrix made her way up the stairs.
She felt Bellatrix chuckle, the sound hitting her ears seconds later, and her face flushed. "I would never drop something so precious to me."
Hermione felt her face grow redder, even though she already knew how much she meant to Bellatrix. She couldn't think of a response, but she tightened her arms around Bellatrix's shoulder and pressed closer to her. Bellatrix glanced down at her when she reached the top of the stairs, a mixture of concern and relief painting her face.
"Please don't scare me like that again," she whispered once she reached Hermione's door.
"I didn't know all that would happen," Hermione said, feeling a little guilty.
Bellatrix somehow managed to get the door open, setting Hermione down on the bed and asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Please," Hermione answered, her voice sounding needier than she wanted it to.
She waited until Bellatrix was comfortable to begin telling her what happened when she had touched the locket. When she got to the part where the man was killed, she struggled to find the words. Tears sprung to her eyes and she hastily wiped them away, stammering out what had happened. Bellatrix pulled her closer, stroking her hair and encouraging her to calm down before she continued. Hermione gripped the older witch tightly, taking comfort in her steady presence, only able to continue after crying for several minutes.
Bellatrix didn't say anything after Hermione had finished. She continued to stroke her hair absently, lost in thought. At some point, she noticed Hermione had fallen asleep, and she shifted her so she was under the blanket. Hermione wouldn't let her go, and she'd have been lying if she said she wanted to leave. It was clear to her that Hermione was very shaken by what had happened and would need someone there when she woke up. So, she maneuvered herself under the blanket, too. Hermione moved closer to her, and she rested her arms loosely around the brunette, placing a light kiss on her forehead.
When Narcissa poked her head into the room a few hours later, both of them were sound asleep. Hermione had buried her face in Bellatrix's shoulder, her arms draped around her neck. Her sister was holding Hermione by the waist, her head turned toward Hermione. They both looked so peaceful, and Narcissa almost wished she could take a picture to preserve the moment, but there would be plenty of time for that later.
"That you, Cissa?" Bellatrix mumbled sleepily, turning her head to the door.
"Just checking on the two of you. Do you think she'll sleep through dinner?" Narcissa answered, hovering by the door.
Bellatrix yawned, scooting closer to Hermione without thinking about it. "I think she could sleep through the end of the world in my arms. It's almost like when we were at Hogwarts together."
Narcissa couldn't help but smile. "Would you like dinner?"
"Uh-uh," she mumbled, "I could sleep through the end of the world, too."
"Just make sure you're up for breakfast," Narcissa whispered, closing the door after her sister gave her a thumbs up.
She smiled to herself, standing outside the door before realizing that she should be eating with Draco, Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks. It made her happy to finally see her sister with the witch she had heard about for so long. She had almost expected her sister to overwhelm the young witch, but Bellatrix was actually the only thing that didn't seem to overwhelm Hermione.
Hermione didn't think she had ever slept so well in her life when she woke up the next morning. She was still nestled in Bellatrix's arms, the older witch not yet awake. She snuggled closer to her, wishing she could sleep in her arms every night. It wasn't something she should get used to, though, because once they were back at Hogwarts, they wouldn't be able to sleep in each other's arms. They wouldn't even spend as much time together because Hermione would have classes to take and Bellatrix would have classes to teach. They wouldn't be able to sit together at meals, and there were only so many excuses she could think of to spend time with Bellatrix outside of class. She felt Bellatrix begin to stir, and she loosened her arms around her, giving her room to move.
"Good morning," she mumbled, sounding more asleep than awake.
"Morning," Hermione said, smiling up at her.
"Feeling better?" Bellatrix peaked at her through one eye, leaving the other closed.
Hermione nodded, whispering, "Thank you for staying."
"I'm always here," she said, opening both her eyes and smiling down at Hermione. The "I love you" was unspoken, but they both knew it was there.
"I wish we could stay like this forever," Hermione mumbled, pressing her face into Bellatrix's neck.
A hand began stroking her back softly, and she sighed, nuzzling Bellatrix's neck with her nose. She froze, but Bellatrix's hand continued to stroke her back and she relaxed again, glad she hadn't crossed a line.
"As much as I want that, too, Cissy made it clear that we must attend breakfast. And you should definitely eat something," Bellatrix said.
Hermione groaned, asking in a voice Bellatrix could never say no to, "Five more minutes?"
Bellatrix chuckled, nodding her head. She didn't think she would ever pass up on the opportunity to hold Hermione just a little bit longer. The five minutes passed too quickly for their liking, and they reluctantly got out of bed. Bellatrix left to go to her own room and change after handing back her necklace, leaving Hermione to her thoughts. She stared at the door for several minutes, shaking away her desire to run to the other witch and just kiss her.
Hermione was the first one downstairs for breakfast, realizing that the sun had only just fully risen. She stood by the large bay windows, staring out over the garden. The grass was covered in dew, and she admired the plants from a distance. She loved the garden in the morning before the dew evaporated, it was tranquil and seemingly untouched.
"Good morning," Andy greeted, coming up beside her and looking out at the garden briefly.
"Hi, Andy. You're up early," she responded, tilting her face so she could observe her out of the corner of her eye.
Andromeda chuckled. "A little bit. How are you feeling?"
Hermione paused, frowning slightly. "Better, in terms of what you're asking about."
"Something else on your mind?" she asked, sensing that Hermione was conflicted about something.
"Sort of," she murmured, "I...I'm pretty sure I..."
"Love Bella?" Andromeda supplied after Hermione failed to find the words.
She nodded. "I'm pretty sure I love her. And I know she's pretty sure she loves me. But...She's waited a long time for me, and we still can't be together. What if...What if she waited all this time for nothing?"
Andromeda observed Hermione, taking in her pink cheeks and the way she couldn't stand completely still. "It's funny you're worried about that, Bella was worried about the same thing before you left. But you told her that you wouldn't forget her, that you'd find each other again, that you would be together. You didn't have any doubts that the two of you would last."
"I'm afraid I'm not who I was when we were at school together and that Bellatrix will realize she doesn't want me," Hermione whispered softly, blinking back tears.
She felt Andromeda's arm move around her shoulders, pulling her into her side. "You aren't the same as you were. But that isn't a bad thing. Bellatrix is different, too. People change all the time, but you're still you and she's still herself. Talk to her about it, when you're ready. She needs to know what you're thinking about that so you can avoid miscommunication."
Hermione nodded, leaning her head against Andromeda's shoulder. "Thanks, Andy."
"Wotcher, mum, Hermione," Tonks said, standing on Hermione's other side and throwing her arm over her shoulder.
"Morning," they chorused.
"I've got news, once everyone is down for breakfast," she shared.
Andromeda looked at the Muggle watch on her wrist- a gift from Ted- and said, "Knowing Narcissa, that should be in about five minutes."
"Well, I don't want to be the last one at the table," Hermione said, ducking under their arms and moving into the Dining Room. They followed her, finding Bellatrix there already.
"Looks like Draco loses," Tonks said, hearing Narcissa's footsteps approaching the room.
The blonde wizard burst into the room from the other side, frantically moving to his seat before Narcissa entered the room. He was slightly out of breath and could only nod when Bellatrix commented on his close call. He tried to make it look like he hadn't almost been late when Narcissa entered the Dining Room, all of them sitting angelically around the table.
"Oh, you're all here," she said in surprise, "Good morning."
"Morning, Aunt Cissa," Tonks said cheerily, "I hate to start the morning like this, but Moody owled me last night. Since Hermione thinks the cup is in Lestrange's vault, Dumbledore thinks we should try to confirm if it's true. By visiting Rodolphus in Azkaban."
"Who's going?" Bellatrix asked, her fork midway to her mouth.
"I dunno," she shrugged.
"I should," she said decisively, taking a bite.
Hermione nearly dropped her fork. "No!"
"If anyone can get him riled up enough to get him to tell us anything, it's Bella," Andromeda whispered to her.
"Then I'm going, too!" she said, setting her fork down forcefully.
"Absolutely not!" Bellatrix said sharply.
"Why not?" she demanded.
"We have no idea what types of memories it might trigger, it's dangerous, and I don't want you to see it." She stared at Hermione with an intensity the brunette had seldom seen.
When she opened her mouth to argue, Narcissa interjected gently, "Bella is right, Hermione. She won't be alone, and she's the best person for the job. Part of your agreement for joining the Order is that you don't take part in the retrieval of the Horcruxes. This counts as retrieval."
Hermione huffed, scowling down at her plate. "Fine."
The rest of breakfast was quiet, and Hermione rushed out of the room as soon as she was finished. The table's occupants shared a variety of glances, and Narcissa stood to follow her.
"Better if you don't, Cissy. It's complicated. I'll talk to her," Bellatrix said.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
Andromeda placed her hand on Narcissa's forearm until she sat back down. She watched Bellatrix follow after Hermione slowly, giving her time for some of her anger to diffuse.
"Auntie Bella has calmed her down before, it'll be fine," Draco assured her, moving into the seat his aunt had just vacated.
Bellatrix could've sworn she was only seconds behind Hermione, but for the life of her, she couldn't seem to catch up. She wasn't even sure where Hermione would go, except maybe the library, or the garden. She increased her pace to a jog, looking for any sign of the brunette. Bellatrix eventually reached the doors to the patio which were wide open. Hermione must've run as soon as she was out of the Dining Room, and Bellatrix closed the doors behind her as she looked left and right for her. She spotted her in the garden, almost looking like she was stomping around. Bellatrix made sure to stifle her laughter as she approached, a serious expression on her face.
Hermione didn't even bother trying to walk away from Bellatrix. Dark tendrils wrapped around her thoughts, and she vaguely recognized it as the same thing she experienced when she lost her temper at Harry and Ron. It frightened her, which only made the dark whispers stronger. She stared slightly up at Bellatrix indignantly as she approached, crossing her arms.
"Hermione," Bellatrix said sternly, "I know you're upset, but I want to tell you something. Can I?"
She nodded, not trusting her words to be kind.
"I don't want you to see Azkaban. I don't..." she looked at the ground before meeting Hermione's eyes, "I don't want you to see it knowing that I might've ended up there if things happened differently, having memories of me from a timeline where I did go to Azkaban. I don't want you to see how bad it is and imagine me there, because I've done it and I can't even describe how terrifying it was."
Hermione felt some of her anger evaporate at Bellatrix's admission. She hadn't even considered how Bellatrix would feel about it. She had been so focused on her desire to help that it hadn't occurred to her that Bellatrix was afraid for her to see it. The older witch had tears in the corners of her eyes, and Hermione felt the rest of her anger disappear as quickly as it had set in. She stepped forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Bellatrix's shoulders and burying her face there.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, turning her head into Bellatrix's neck, "I didn't even think about that. I just wanted to help, but it probably would trigger bad memories, memories I might not be ready to see. I could barely watch the one the locket showed me, and I know there's worse than that in my head."
Bellatrix wrapped an arm around Hermione's back, her other burying itself in her hair. "If I come off as overprotective, I don't mean to. I don't want you to be overwhelmed by your memories, I've seen some of them and they were far from pleasant. I know they'll help us, but I want you to be ready to face the events of the other timeline."
"I don't know how to control the anger I felt. It was like last time," Hermione quietly confessed, "Like someone whispering in my ear, telling me to use it. I don't like it, it terrifies me."
"Was it worse than last time?" Bellatrix asked softly, lightly massaging her scalp.
Hermione tried to remember, tried not to get distracted by how nice Bellatrix's nails felt. "I don't know, it's hard to tell. I don't know how to stop it."
Her fear of it consuming her didn't need to be said. For one, that would make it much more real, and much scarier. For two, Hermione was pretty sure Bellatrix was able to read between the lines of her statement.
"Maybe Albus knows something that will help. I'll mention it to him if you want me to," she offered.
"Would you?" she asked, pulling her head back and looking up at Bellatrix.
"Of course," she whispered, cupping Hermione's face lovingly, "I'm sure you'll be training with someone today, so be careful with where you let your thoughts go."
"There's one more thing, Bella," Hermione mumbled softly, looking down, "I'm afraid that once we finally get to be together, you'll realize you wasted a huge part of your life waiting for me."
"Hermione," she said, placing her fingers under her chin, "I haven't wasted any part of my life. I've waited for you, yes, but even if something happens and we don't work- which I doubt- it will not have been a waste. I am the person I am today because I've waited for you, and I will always be grateful that I was given the opportunity to love you, and that I still love you."
It was the first time she had heard Bellatrix say it to her, and only the second time she had ever said it out loud. Hermione felt her heart beating erratically. She wanted to kiss her, to tell her she loved her, to hold her tight and never let go. She ended up tangling her hands in Bellatrix's hair, brushing their noses together, somehow managing to refrain from kissing her.
"I love you, too, Bellatrix," she whispered, looking into her eyes as she said it so she could convey how much she meant it.
Bellatrix felt the urge to kiss her, especially with their faces so close. She knew Hermione wanted to kiss her, too, which made the idea more tempting. She still couldn't do it, though. Once they were back at Hogwarts, she wouldn't be able to kiss her, and if she gave in now, it would make being unable to even harder. She would wait, so she rubbed her nose against Hermione's instead of capturing her lips.
Azkaban prison was exactly how Bellatrix remembered. It had been a few years since she had last set foot on the accursed rock in the North Sea as part of her Auror duties. She avoided it as soon as she was no longer required to be there. It still unnerved her to think that she would've been an inhabitant rather than a visitor, and she was glad Hermione had agreed not to come. If Bellatrix had her way, Hermione would never see this place.
"You ready to do this, Bellatrix?" Kingsley asked, his deep voice pulling her out of her thoughts.
"As ready as I'll ever be," she grumbled, her Patronus springing from her wand.
Kingsley led her to Rodolphus's cell, and she took the duration of the walk to focus on her goal. She was here to goad Rodolphus into giving her information, nothing more. It wouldn't be too hard, it was just a matter of getting the right information. Kingsley stopped when they reached the cell, opening it for her to step inside. She could just make out the balled up figure in the corner, whimpering to himself.
"Get up, Rodolphus," she commanded, rolling her wand through her fingertips to ground her.
He cackled, throwing his head back and leaning it against the wall. "Wellll, if it isn't Bellatrix Black. Come to brag?"
She didn't flinch when he spat out her name, maintaining her composure. "Stand up, unless you're afraid of something."
Bolting to his feet, he snarled, "I am not afraid of anything!"
"Not even Voldemort?" she asked with a raised brow.
"You could've been one of us. We could've been a team," he said, his shackles rattling as he took a step forward.
"No," she said, "I couldn't have."
He grinned at her, showing off his rotting teeth. "Because of your mudblood. I know what you're afraid of. How old is she now, 15? 16? Doesn't matter, I'll make short work of her when He frees me. Maybe I'll even have a little fun with her."
Bellatrix tried not to take the bait. She tried not to hex him into a pile of ashes where he stood. She wasn't sure how she managed to keep her cool, but she did. Bellatrix took a step toward him, imposing in every sense of the world as she towered over his fragile frame, threatening to break him with her very presence.
"I know what scares you, Roddy," she said darkly, "If you'd like, I can call the dementors in. I think they'd appreciate an early meal."
He shrunk back to the floor, muttering, "What do you want?"
"Did Voldemort give you anything before he went to the Potter's?" she asked, still standing menacingly over him.
He shook his head violently back and forth.
"It's not polite to lie," she growled.
"I'm not! He never gave me anything! I swear! Don't call them, please!" he shouted, shielding his head with his arms.
She scoffed at him, turning on her heel and exiting the cell as Kingsley opened it again. He walked silently alongside her, having heard only snippets of the conversation between her and Rodolphus. He got the sense that there was more to her relationship with Hermione than the two were letting on, but if it was his place to know about it, someone would tell him.
He waited until they were back by the boat to ask, "It didn't go well, did it?"
"He doesn't know where it is," she grumbled moodily.
Kingsley decided it was not a subject for discussion at the moment, holding the boat steady and casting her off. He watched until the fog swallowed her before turning to reenter the large prison.
Bellatrix was in a sour mood the entire time the boat rowed itself away from Azkaban. She hated it there, she hated Rodolphus, she hated that he didn't have the cup. It felt like a wasted trip, and she was disturbed that he remembered Hermione, going so far as to keep track of how old she would be. Bellatrix didn't even know how he knew about Hermione having gone back in time. It made her uneasy and she wondered if they still had the upper hand in this war at all.
All Bellatrix knew was that she couldn't wait to be home. She did not like having to call on her darker side- her truly darker side- to accomplish anything. It made her feel like the version of her she had glimpsed in Hermione's memories and she was afraid of becoming that person. She felt dirty, ready to be home so she could wash the whole ordeal off her body. Briefly, she wondered if that's what Hermione felt like when her anger took over.
Dumbledore was waiting for her when she arrived, watching her with interest in his twinkling eyes.
"He doesn't have it," she grumbled, hopping out of the rowboat.
"That is unfortunate," he said, his tone not matching his words, "But we know what it is, so we'll be able to track it down in time."
She glared hard at the boat, mumbling, "He knew that Hermione traveled back, and the year she was born. I'm not sure how."
"That is troublesome," Dumbledore muttered, stroking his beard, "I will look into it. In the meantime, I think I've found a way to help Hermione with the anger she's been feeling."
"How?" Bellatrix asked, forcing her expression to relax into neutrality as she looked at him.
He smiled at her, his blue eyes shining with an inner light. "I would like her to work with Severus. I believe he can help her."
"I'll let her know," she said with a nod.
"Are you going to tell her about Rodolphus?" he asked.
She nodded, making it clear that she would not allow him to convince her otherwise. "I won't keep something like that from her."
"Okay," he said simply, surprising her, "I know that what you had to do today was hard, but it is greatly appreciated Bellatrix."
She wasn't sure what to say to him, so she just nodded again, turning on her heel and Disapparating. She went straight to the shower, leaving a trail of clothes through her room. With a flick of her wand, the water turned on and she adjusted it until it was as hot as she could stand, scrubbing her skin nearly raw. The bathroom tile was cold under her feet when she stepped out of the shower, water pooling around them. Part of her wanted to go find Hermione, but another part of her wanted to just crawl into bed and sleep. The latter won, and she slid under the covers after wandlessly drying herself, sighing as she settled into a comfortable position.