Chapter 15: Return to Stalag 13

'And that's all she wanted?' Klink asked Hogan. 'Just for you and your men to move crates?'

It could have been his imagination, but Hogan seemed to be moving more carefully than usual. And Klink had seen Hogan coming from the direction of Wilson's barracks rather than his own. Oh, well. If Hogan had injured himself, he clearly wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

'Of course,' Hogan said. 'She just wanted us to move crates around a difficult area. Don't worry. I have no idea what was in them. And we're all back. Why are you worried?'

'Because General Burkhalter will be in at any moment!' Klink insisted. 'And I still don't know when that Count's coming!'

'Oh, how bad could it be?' Hogan asked, heading for the door. 'It's not like they're both going to turn up at the same time.'

Moving more carefully or not, there was definitely a spring in Hogan's step.

HH

Hogan was in a very good mood.

He'd say it was all down to Tiger's goodbye to him. Of course, she had insisted he just lay back and let her do all the work. Hogan smiled to himself. He didn't doubt the validity of that Curse. If not for the fact that he was agnostic, it would have worked…save for the interference of the four dhampirs.

Speaking of which…Hogan stepped out onto the front porch of the office building to find Crina waiting.

'You just had to say that,' she remarked with a smirk.

Hogan grinned. 'You're gonna do it now, aren't you?'

'Ooh! Maliciously!'

Hogan chuckled and headed down to his men, who were all waiting by their barracks with Varney.

Varney was smirking.

'How are we looking, colonel?' Kinch asked.

Hogan moved around and stood with them. 'He bought it, of course.'

'Well, it's not that far-fetched that a Romanian toff would want us to move crates for her for a few days,' Newkirk pointed out. 'How's the lung, colonel?'

'Coming along,' Hogan said. 'Wilson wants me to go easy for a few weeks and keep checking in with him.'

'Well, that's not too dissimilar to the usual recovery plan for a punctured lung,' Varney remarked.

'Hm,' Hogan mused. 'When will Vasilli be here?'

Varney tipped his head back and sniffed. 'Tomorrow morning.'

'Wow!' Carter gasped. 'You can tell that just by sniffing?'

Varney grinned.

HH

Varney had been right.

They were standing out for roll call when the car drove into the camp. Crina ran out of the office building as the car pulled up and Vasilli got out. Several centuries had clearly paid off. He looked like every other Nazi officer that came through here. Even Hogan looked impressed by his acting ability.

Of course, it wasn't anything the rest of them couldn't do.

Klink rushed out to greet the visitor.

Crina looked over with a disdainful expression. 'Oh, yes. Kom. Klink, Count Karnstein.'

'Oh, a great pleasure to meet you, Count!' Klink gushed. 'Welcome to Stalag 13, the only Prisoner of War camp that has never had a single successful escape!'

'Yes, yes, yes,' Vasilli said. 'I'm perfectly aware of your record, Klink. Would I be here if I wasn't?' He turned away and looked over the prisoners. 'So these are your…prisoners, eh?'

Varney saw Hogan's lips quirk. Obviously he'd caught the inflection behind the word "prisoners". Shultz's eyes darted down. But Klink gushed. 'Well, yes. Not a single one of them has ever made a successful escape.'

'Obviously.' Vasilli walked over to "inspect" them. 'They are still here.'

Varney kept his face completely straight even as he watched Kinch, Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter drop their heads in an attempt to hide their amusement. Hogan had a pretty good poker face himself. If not for the fact that his eyes were twinkling in amusement, Varney wouldn't know he was as entertained by Vasilli's show as his men were.

Vasilli slowly walked past the front of the men, stalling for time.

Then the second car pulled in – this one very familiar.

Klink rushed to meet him as the car pulled up and Burkhalter's driver let him out.

'Oh, General Burkhalter, what a pleasure to see you!' Klink gushed.

'Shut up, Klink,' Burkhalter said, looking over at the Austrian finishing up his "inspection of the men". 'Is that the Count Karnstein?'

'It is indeed, General,' Klink gushed.

'Good.' Burkhalter brushed past him before Klink could continue to waffle on.

Varney was amused.

Vasilli turned as the fat old General brashly approached him. 'General Burkhalter, I presume?'

'Indeed.' Burkhalter stopped just in front of him. It was a clear intimidation tactic. 'And you would be the Count Karnstein. Often spoken of, never seen.'

Varney knew Burkhalter wanted an explanation.

So did Vasilli. He just didn't care. 'The very same.'

Burkhalter looked annoyed. 'You do a lot of work in the name of our beloved Fuhrer.'

Vasilli sneered. 'Don't fish, old man. If the Fuhrer doesn't discuss it with you, it is clear that it does not concern you.'

A flash of indignation went across Burkhalter's face. He was used to throwing his (considerable) weight around. He had no idea that he'd be as easy for Vasilli to lift and throw as a twig. Burkhalter scowled. 'And yet you find yourself here, inspecting a mere Prisoner of War camp?'

Vasilli rolled his neck and looked directly at Burkhalter.

The old General jerked back. The stench of fear and confusion wrapped around him.

'I said,' Vasilli said, the slightest trace of a snarl on his voice, as he advanced, 'do not fish.'

General Burkhalter didn't move an inch.

Vasilli held his gaze for a minute, and then he turned away.

Without another word, Burkhalter rushed back to his car and hastily left Stalag 13.

'Now that's a neat trick,' Hogan remarked. 'Varney, you mind telling me how he did that?'

'Oh, we can all do that,' Varney said as they watched Vasilli saunter over and started talking to a visibly sweating Klink. 'It's more primordial than anything else. What you just saw there is a natural response to a predator putting all of their focus on you. Usually, that means it's narrowing in on you for hunting.'

'Explains why he left so fast.' Newkirk had a good chuckle.

'Sort of,' Varney said. 'These days the human subconscious recognises the threat and tries to alert the conscious mind by triggering the fight or flight response. But the conscious mind can find no explanation for such a reaction, and so it cannot assess the threat before it. As a result, it defaults to sheer bloody terror.'

Hogan nodded, as if that made sense. 'Which is what we just saw.'

Crina turned around and looked at them. With a grin, she winked.

Hogan grinned. He winked back.