In Which Addison Waits Until it Passes

Over this past week, Meredith and I have tried to go on at least five dates but every one of them ended up at the hospital… Let me explain… Meredith and I would be out eating a nice dinner, playing mini golf, at a movie, it didn't matter… Someone always ended up getting hurt and needing a doctor's assistance… And who else but us would just happen to be there? The point of what I'm saying is, we've given up on going out. Our dates now consist of watching movies on the couch at each other's houses which, honestly, I enjoy even more.

Speaking of, I just left Meredith's a couple of hours ago actually. It was two a.m. when I left after accidentally falling asleep there… again… I have to be at the hospital at five and I haven't even showered yet plus I have a really bad feeling about today. I don't know what it is but it just doesn't feel right… That doesn't matter though… a feeling isn't an excuse to miss work.

Stepping out of the shower and getting dressed, I hear my phone ringing. I see it's Izzie when I get up to the screen. I glance over at the clock and I see that it's only four a.m. She shouldn't be at the hospital just yet so this shouldn't be about a patient… unless she got there early…

"Hello," I answer.

She speaks up nervously, "Hi, um, Dr. Montgomery-"

"Izzie, I told you, I'm not your boss outside of the hospital. Call me Addison," I cut her off.

She clears her throat, "Uh, sorry, Addison."

"Yeah?" I question trying to move this conversation along.

She finally starts, "Could you come over? It's Meredith."

Izzie didn't have to say anymore… I basically fly out to my car and I'm standing in the middle of Meredith's bedroom within minutes where I find Meredith still in bed refusing to move. Apparently, Izzie's been trying all morning and didn't know who else to call. I'm glad she called me but I probably should've finished listening to what she had to say, instead I got worried and anxious then rushed all the way over here because I thought something was wrong.

I look from Izzie to Meredith concerned and I try with the sweetest voice I have, "Meredith, baby, what's wrong?"

"I'm just not going," she says from under the covers.

She's so freaking adorable hiding under the sheets. I can't help but smile when I respond, "You have to go to work, sweetie. You're an intern. Saving lives is not optional."

"Yes it is. I'm staying home," she says not moving a bit.

Izzie looks at me and smirks "You're supposed to be helping."

"Really?" I say in response and she just shakes her head at me.

Izzie walks over to Meredith, sits down on the bed beside her then removes the covers off of her face, "Uh, Mer? Maybe, um, there'll be a horrible accident nearby the hospital. Cut a bunch of people open. Sternotomies, Craniotomies. That'd be fun, right?"

"I don't care about surgeries," she says while grabbing the pillow next to her and pulling it over her head.

I plead, "Mere…"

"No, I'm not leaving this bed," she demands.

I sigh then Izzie shrugs leaving us both in the room alone. I kick off my shoes and I climb into bed with Meredith spooning her from the side then I cuddle into her hair. After a few minutes of silence Meredith finally speaks up, "I have a feeling."

My heart stops for a second. It can't be the same feeling I had this morning. I speak up coming across more nervous then I attended, "You have a feeling?"

Meredith doesn't seem to notice my tone as she moves the pillow from off her face and sits up a little, "Yes."

"Okay… what kind of feeling?" I say trying to get her to continue.

Meredith shrugs and shakes her head. I give her a pleading look and she finally speaks up, "Like I might die."

I raise an eyebrow at her not sure how to approach this. I don't want to make her any more nervous by telling her that I had a bad feeling about today.

"Addison! Come on," she crosses her arms frowning at me.

She thinks I'm making fun of her when I'm really just trying to calm myself down. It's just a coincidence… the both of us having a bad feeling about today. There can't be anything else to it. That doesn't happen. It was probably the wine last night. Once I get myself together I nod and smile softly at her, "Baby, I'm sure you're going to be just fine. Plus you have me to protect you now."

"Yeah, you are right about that," she smiles and turns back around to cuddle into my front.

I bury my face into her neck and she lets out a soft moan as I catch myself thinking I could lay here forever. After a few minutes of pure bliss, I find myself speaking up again, "You know, I get those sometimes too."

"Yeah?" she says softly.

I nod into her hair, "Yeah."

She backs impossibly closer to me and wraps my arm tighter around her, "And?"

"If you wait long enough, it passes," I say. It's true. Usually that's what happens but I've never had another person have a bad feeling about the same day before. This is new.

Meredith catches me lost in my thoughts, "Promise?"

"I promise," I say as sure as I can.

She nods, "Okay. I guess I can get ready for work now."

Meredith gets up, undresses and goes into the bathroom leaving me alone to my thoughts… Which is bad because I'm worried. Something isn't right about today. I know that for a fact once Meredith and I parted ways at the hospital and I find the Chief looking uneasy standing in front of the O.R. board. I notice the board doesn't have many surgeries scheduled today. I know how anxious that makes him. I walk over to approach Richard but Dr. Burke beats me to him.

"Quiet board," the younger doctor speaks up first.

Richard states not moving his eyes from the board, "I know."

"That's a bad sign," he responds.

The Chief yells, "I know that. Don't you think I know that?"

"That's a quiet board," I say walking up to them pretending to not have heard their conversation. I'm surprised at how easy and calm my tone is when I'm actually freaking out… Richard groans loudly. I smirk looking at Dr. Burke, "Is he in a bad mood?"

"Quiet board," he answers nodding at the O.R. board.

I nod turning back to the board, "Right, he hate's a quiet board."

"I can hear you talking about me," Richard says from my far right.

Dr. Burke chuckles, "We're just saying."

"Quiet board means trouble. A quiet board is death! A quiet board bodes bad news!" He turns around to face us before he walks off, "And stop looking at me like that!"

I didn't even realize I was looking at him like he was crazy. It's just that this is the third time today that someone's had a bad feeling. Today isn't going to be a good day. I have to find Meredith. I promised her she'd be fine.

Dr. Burke starts to walk away and bids me goodbye, "Dr. Montgomery."

"Dr. Burke?" I question and he stops facing me before I speak again, "You and I, we've known each other for a while now, right?"

"Yes," he nods.

I continue, "We've done several successful surgeries together."

"Yes," he says looking confused as to where this is leading.

I've learned one thing from working in a hospital and that is that not every day is guaranteed to you… I want to actually start getting to know people here, setting some foundation, before it's too late. And with the vibes of today, it feels as though I better start now, "Your girlfriend is my girlfriend's best friend."

"Yes," he smirks.

I smile, "You think we could call each other by our first names?"

He stares at me for a bit then shrugs, "Sure."

"Okay," I smile.

He nods at me before walking away, "Addison"

"Preston," I nod back before making my way down to the pit where I'm expecting to find Meredith. However, instead I see all of Dr. Bailey's interns except her. They all putting on their yellow gowns getting ready for incoming cases.

I hear Cristina complaining to Izzie, "I haven't been in the O.R. in two days. I'm getting some O.R. time. We haven't had a decent resident this week."

"Oh the last two weren't that bad," Izzie responds.

Alex then speaks up, "Doesn't matter which resident we get. They suck."

"They all sucked," George adds. I almost forgot that Dr. Bailey was out on leave… These interns were spoiled with the best of the best… No one could fill Dr. Bailey's shoes.

Izzie nods, "Yeah."

They all start making their way to the double doors where the patients come in and that's when I finally spot Meredith. She's standing a few feet behind them still putting on her yellow gown.

"I miss Dr. Bailey," George says as the door closes.

It feels as though the whole room went deathly silent and everyone disappeared except me and Meredith… And she looks like she's going to be sick. She turns to me standing over at the empty nurses' station and I can't help but ask, "You all right?"

"I still have a feeling," she says from across the room.

I want to tell her that everything is going to be okay but I can't and I think she knows that because she just nods slightly then walks out after the other interns. All of the sound in the hospital gradually returns to me as I'm left standing here looking pensive. I, just, I don't know how to protect her when I don't even know what's going to happen.

Luckily, I get called into a consult to relieve me of my thoughts. As long as I keep busy, I won't have time to panic. I'm checking the patient's cervix when I'm paged and I have the resident I'm working with answer it. When she calls back, I find out that it's George. He says Dr. Bailey is here, her contractions are ten minutes apart and her water broke all over his shoes. I can't help but laugh at that. I find out what room she's in, finishes up and meet him there.

"What are you doing?" Richard's voice booms from the hallway.

"Chief," I hear George say. I sent him out of the room while I exam Miranda's cervix. When I look up, I see Richard and George standing outside the room. The door isn't closed all the way so we can hear their conversation but I don't think they realize this, "Bailey's in there."

"Bailey's back?" Richard shouts excitedly. I see him look in the window smiling but his smile quickly changes to a mortified look. I can't help but laugh as he turns back to George, "O'Malley!"

I can basically hear George bouncing up and down as he speaks, "She's in labor. Dr. Montgomery is examining her cervix."

"I can see that, quite clearly!" Richard says as George moves back to look through the door. "O'Malley, stop looking!" He demands and George moves away from the door again.

"Pretty amazing right? The miracle of life," George says and I look up to see Miranda looking annoyed. I laugh a little to myself.

Richard speaks up again, "Our Bailey. Becoming a mother. Feels good. Having Bailey back at the hospital. The balance is being restored."

"That's all I'm saying, sir," George agrees.

"Hey guys. Would you ah get this to Dr. Montgomery for me, please?" I hear Preston say, "What's going on?"

George speaks up still excited, "Bailey's in there."

"Oh Bailey's back? That's excellent," he says making his way to the door to peer in and I watch as he quickly loses his smile, "And her cervix is being examined by Addison which is ah, which is a visual image I'll never get out of my head. Thanks for the warning."

I laugh wrapping up my exam and heading out to get some coffee. As I walk out, I smile "Well… Hmm, the gathering of men outside the delivery room. How mid-century of you."

Dr. Burke's pager goes off and after checking it he says, "Say hi to Bailey for me."

"Mmhm," I say as Preston walks off and I make my way to the nursing station as George and Richard follows.

Richard looks to me, "How's she doing?"

"Taking it like a woman," I say and they both exchange smiles, "six centimeters dilated, fifty percent effaced and refusing all pain meds which I think is stupid but I'm not in labor so…"

I walk over to the nearest coffee cart when the doors to Dr. Bailey's room suddenly opens and she walks out. I can hear her yelling from down the hall, "What are you people doing out here?"

"Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" the Chief asks nervously.

I can practically hear the look on Miranda's face as she speaks up again, "A boy the size of a 10 pound bowling ball is working his way out of my body. Can you get me something for that? Can you get me a new vagina?"

"Oh, well…" Richard tries.

However, the feisty woman cuts him off, "I didn't think so. Look everybody, I appreciate the concern but I'm fine. It's just childbirth. All I need is my husband who should've been here by now."

George holds out a pad and a pen, "Write down his number. I'll call him. I'll track him down."

Dr. Bailey takes the pad and pen, writes down her husband's number then she gives it back to George, "All right. Now go away. Give me some privacy. I don't want to see any of you again until after the baby is born. Which if does like I told him to and stays on schedule, should be in about 4 and a half hours."

I laugh to myself but honestly, if anybody's baby would come out on a set time, it would be Dr. Bailey's. She makes her way back into her room leaving both of them standing there smiling, "I mean it!"

She closes the door and George turns to look at Richard as he grins, "Bailey's back."

"She's back sir," George agrees and they walk off in separate directions.

I'm up in my office working on charts when George bursts in telling me that Dr. Cam has Miranda's husband up in surgery. I drop everything I'm doing and run upstairs to the scrub room where I find Dr. Burke and Dr. Cam scrubbing in.

"Dr. Burke."

"Dr. Cam," I hear them exchange greetings as I walk inside.

Dr. Cam looks to me, "Hello, Dr. Montgomery."

"Hey. You've got Dr. Bailey's husband on the table?" I ask.

Preston interrupts, "Bailey's husband is going into surgery?"

Dr. Cam nods, "Got into a car accident trying to get to the hospital before the birth."

"What do we tell Bailey?" I rock on my feet. This isn't good. Hopefully this is what my bad feeling was about this morning; this I think I can handle.

Dr. Cam shrugs, "Nothing. Let's just wait until I get in there and see how bad the damage is. Have something concrete to tell her."

"Yeah, no use upsetting her until we know. Okay, keep me posted," I move to leave but first I greet Dr. Burke, "Hey, Preston."

"Good seeing you Addison," he says and I see Dr. Cam look amazed as I head out, "What?"

"She gets to call you by your first name and I don't," Dr. Cam badgers him.

Preston shrugs, "I like her."

"And you don't like me?" he questions.

"No," he walks off leaving Dr. Cam looking after him as I leave the room trying to stifle a laugh.

I make my way back down to Dr. Bailey's room. I'm trying to help her do some exercises to lessen the pain of her contractions since she wouldn't take any meds.

"Okay, okay, okay," Dr. Bailey exclaims as the contraction passes, "Ah!"

George enters the room, "Eight minutes apart."

"There is no shame in an epidural, Miranda," I help her make her way back to the bed.

She shakes her head 'no', "Epidural increases the possibility of a C-section."

George places a suitcase with Dr. Bailey's clothes on the bed and I step around him, "It also decreases pain. Miranda, this is a big baby. It's your first baby and I'm telling you it is not gonna be a short or an easy labor."

"Mmm, I can handle a little pain. No problem," she says as George opens the door to leave but stops and watches from the doorway. Dr. Bailey decides she wants to sit on the couch in her room so I help her up as she continues to speak, "Women all over the world do this at home."

"Mmm hmm," I agree.

She continues as we both sit down on the couch, "With nothing more than a pair of scissors and a bucket of hot water."

"Well women all over the world also die giving birth at home every single day," George says as we both give him the 'I can't believe you just said that' look, "I did not just say that."

I just shake my head but Miranda speaks up, "You're supposed to be making yourself useful and finding my husband."

George looks at me confused, "What? I…"

"He's, ah, not here," I quickly cut him off before he tells her any more. She looks at me disbelievingly and George just shrugs.

Dr. Bailey exclaims, "Oh now he should be here by now!"

"Okay we're going to go find him. Right, Dr. O'Malley?" I try to get him to go along with it.

"Right," he nods and quickly leaves. My pager beeps and I literally had to do a double take when saw it.

My thoughts didn't even get a chance to comprehend it when Miranda looks to me, "What?"

"Oh nothing. I'll… I'll be right back," I say leaving the room. I get on the nearest elevator and head downstairs to the ER to find RIchard. On the next floor down, it stops and George, breathing heavily, gets on. The other people in the elevator looks like they're going home.

George pulls me out of my thoughts, "I don't like having to lie to Dr. Bailey."

I'm not even sure what he just said because I'm panicking, "Now's not the time, Dr. O'Malley."

"She'd want to know about her husband," he says as his pager goes off. The doors begin to close, "Code Black? What's a 'Code Black'?"

"Wait! Hold it! Whoa," Izzie says running to the doors. She stops them from closing and enters the elevator, "Dr. Montgomery, Dr. Cam wanted me to let you know that Tucker's bleed is more extensive than he originally thought. It's gonna be a few more hours before he has anything concrete to tell Dr. Bailey."

"Thanks, Stevens," I say not really hearing what she said.

The doors shut and George moves to speak to Izzie, "What's a 'Code Black'?"

"A what?" She moves to look at his pager but her own goes off so she checks it instead, "'Code Black'? Code Red, Code Blue, Code White. I've never had a 'Code Black' before." She looks to me, "Dr. Montgomery?"

Just, just go back to your locker room and wait for your resident to give you instructions," I wave them off too panicked to be of any assistance.

Izzie now concerned says, "We don't have a resident."

George questions, "What's going on?"

"Is it something bad?" Izzie says as the elevator dings and the doors open to reveal chaos on the floor with nurses, doctors and many police officers running around.

I pause taking a look around the ER, "Yeah, it's something bad."

I find Richard standing on the stairs next to the nurses' station. He's called a meeting with all the attendings and residents. I walk up to the group with George and Izzie on my heels as Richard continues, "We're having pre-op patients transferred to Mercy West and all trauma re-routed to Seattle Presbyterian. There is no danger to the north, south and west wings of this hospital. Just the east surgical wing. That said anyone who wants to leave can leave. No one stays unless they volunteer to stay, understood?" The group nods and so does he, "Okay."

The group starts to disperse and Richard starts walking off. I approach him with George and Izzie still listening in but a few feet behind us, "Richard, it's a Code Black? Really?"

"Yes, I've shut down the O.R.'s," he says still walking.

I nod then question, "Wait, to trauma?"

"To everything," he says.

I try to stop him from walking, "Wait a minute to everything, everything?"

He stops and turns around to face me, "As of ten minutes ago all the operating rooms at Seattle Grace were completely evacuated with the exception of Dr. Burke's team."

Izzie adds, "And Dr. Cam's team."

"What?" This obviously throws him off guard as he walks up to Izzie, "What do you mean Dr. Cam's team?"

"They're still in O.R. two," she says like it's nothing.

Nurse Debbie comes up to us, "Bomb squad just arrived."

"Excuse me," Richard leaves and walks off with the nurse.

I look around the ER hoping to see Meredith but I can find. I speak up mostly to myself, "Where's Meredith?"

"She's on Dr. Burke's team…" Izzie says looking at me confused.

My heart literally drops to the floor as I run off. I want to go up to the O.R. and get her out of there but I know they won't let me. I can't even breathe let alone run through the hallways. I get paged to Dr. Bailey's room which I try to focus on and not the fact that Meredith is up in surgery with a bomb.

When I arrive to Miranda's room, she's standing up trying to pass off another contraction, "Trying to get gravity to do me a favor. I'm 9 centimeters dilated. I need that last centimeter."

"Good. That's ah ... good," I say a little too distracted.

I avoid looking at Dr. Bailey and I think she notices this because she questions me, "Dr. Montgomery, where exactly is my husband?"

I turn around to Miranda with fresh tears in my eyes. I start, "He's… He's in surgery…"

I tell Dr. Bailey everything that I know. I tell her about how her husband got into an accident on the way here; that he is having brain surgery. I even tell her about the bomb patient that's being operated on in the O.R. beside him and she literally flips out on me. I leave the room making my way upstairs to my office so I can cry alone.

About thirty minutes later, George bursts in out of breath, "What's going on?"

"Uh, something happened in O.R. 3," he says.

That's the one Meredith is in. I don't know if I even want to ask but I do anyway, "What?"

"I don't know. All I know is that Hannah the paramedic, she's missing," he says calmly. Hannah's the one who had her hand on the bomb. I remember seeing them come in the ER. She was riding on the gurney with her hand in the patient's abdomen to try and stop the bleeding.

We hear footsteps and look up to see Richard walk past the office by the open door that George is standing in. He decides to go after him and I follow. "Chief, what's happened?"

"Quiet board. A quiet board is what's happened," he walks away and so does George but I follow after Richard.

We're back in the ER that's busy with people circling around. I'm trying to talk to Richard at the nurses' station but he flipped out as soon as I told him Miranda refused to have her baby without her husband. I try to settle his nerves even though that's hard to do with mine all over the place, "Calm down."

"Calm down? I have an evacuated O.R. A bomb in a body cavy. A missing paramedic! An intern with her hand on the explosive! Two world class surgeons in harm's way!" he yells obviously upset as George walks up behind us, "A man on a table who may bleed out at any moment unless we move the bomb from his chest! And my favorite resident in labor who you're now telling me refuses to push! Really, calm down? You really want to say to me calm down?"

"Okay don't calm down!" I say rolling my eyes.

George speaks up for me, "Dr. Bailey is scared, sir. It's a day to be scared."

"She won't let me examine her but from what I can tell her contractions are 40 seconds apart and she's refusing to push. The baby could go into distress and if she doesn't come out of this and soon, then I'm gonna need an O.R. to do an emergency C-section," I say a little more confident.

Richard shakes his head. "I can't give you an O.R., Addie! I don't have an O.R. to give. Can't you convince her to push? Bailey's rational."

"She's not Bailey right now! She's a woman in labor whose husband is in surgery next to a bomb," I basically yell.

He yells back, "And your girlfriend or whatever she is to you, HAS HER HAND ON A FREAKING BOMB!"

I feel my heart literally stop. For a moment, I can't even breathe. I shake it off trying to recollect myself, "This is about Bailey. I need an O.R."

"I don't know what to tell you," he says to me and I'm about to lose it.

"Look Richard, we have about an hour to change Bailey's mind and then I'm going to need you to get me an O.R. Build me an O.R.! Find me a helicopter to fly me to any O.R. in the city! Otherwise instead of having a baby, she'll be losing one!" I say waking off.

I find myself sitting on an empty gurney in the middle of an empty hallway trying my best not to cry. Bizzy would be so disappointed right now. We're Forbes women. We don't cry; especially not in public, she would say. I tried to pull myself together. I did… but that was until I found out that Meredith has her freaking hand on a bomb.

I didn't even see him coming but next thing I know, George is sitting next to me and he asks, "What are we gonna do? I mean about Dr. Bailey. Can, can we drug her?"

I hope he sees how crazy I'm looking at him, "Against her will?"

"No. Well… yes," I roll my eyes as he continues to speak, "Can't we force her to push? If, ah, we declare her temporarily insane."

I let out a noise of frustration, "Ah. You want me to declare Miranda Bailey, Miranda Bailey incompetent? Do you think that will help? Do you think that will make her more inclined, more comfortable giving birth?"

George shrugs, "I don't know that's why…"

I don't even let him finish, "Do you think I'm not doing everything I can to help her? I mean, do you think I'm just out here because I, don't know, feel a little lazy, just need a little me time?"

"I'm just asking," he says.

I yell, "Stop asking! Because no matter what you ask the answer is I don't know. I'm doing everything thing I can; everything I can! Miranda Bailey's husband is in mortal danger; actual mortal danger! And there's not a lot I can say to comfort her right now because there's not a lot that anybody can say to comfort me! I'm doing my best! Dr. Bailey is doing her best! And I need you to do your best! And I need it to better than standing here asking me the world's most stupidest question! I don't know, O'Malley!"

George nods slightly looking a little upset as he gets up and leaves. I sigh and bury my face in my hands. I'm trying so hard not to lose it. All I can think about is how Meredith could turn into pink mist. That's what the bomb squad calls you when you blow up. Pink mist… I read that somewhere. Bomb goes off and… anyone in range explodes into a billion pieces. You're liquid. There's nothing left. Just flecks of human flesh and blood. Pink mist… One minute you're a person, the next… you're bloody rain. Meredith, she can't… I promised that she would be okay; that I'd keep her safe.

I can't think about this anymore. I have to keep working. I have to believe she'll be fine and the bomb squad does their job. I need to do my job and get Miranda to deliver this baby. I get up and make my way to Dr. Bailey's room where she's still lying in bed refusing to move. George is standing at the door watching.

"Okay, Dr. Bailey let's go," I say assertively. I try to get her to sit up but she just pushes me away crying. "Dr. Bailey, I need you to turn on your back. I need you to push."

"Leave me alone," she cries.

"Miranda," I plead. I turn to a nurse that is also in here, "I can't let her go any longer. I'm gonna go tell Richard that he has to get us an O.R., okay?"

She nods and I move to leave through the door as George moves forward, "Dr. Bailey, I'm surprised at you. I really thought… this is not how I thought you would do this."

I stop at the door turning around to him. "Dr. O'Malley, I don't think that…"

George, ignoring me, moves to Miranda's bedside, "I truly… I expected more."

"George," I, now, demand.

George takes a damp cloth and wipes it against Dr. Bailey's arm. I move back into the room and watch as George leans down to talk to her. "You're Dr. Bailey. You don't hide from a fight. You don't give up. You strive for greatness. You, Dr. Bailey, you are a doer. And… I know your husband is not here and I know that there are a lot of things going on here that we have no control over. But this…" he takes his hand and lifts up her chin for her to look at him directly, "this… we can do. Okay?" Miranda half nods still crying and George smiles, "Okay."

I take that as a queue to start preparing Miranda for birth while George helps her sit up. He gets on the bed and sits behind her for support and he smiles, "Let's have this baby."

"Augh!" Dr. Bailey yells.

George is behind her also yelling, "Push!"

I'm smiling at the sight. He did well today. I speak up, "A little bit more. I can see the top of the head."

"I need to stop; need to stop," Miranda says falling back against George.

"Okay that was good," he silently pulls his hand back and makes a pained expression as if she's broken his fingers. I laugh as he continues, "That was very good. That was- Okay." He helps her sit upright again, "Are you ready?"

"Ready?" I also ask.

Dr. Bailey nods, "Okay."

"Push," George guides her.

She pushes, "Oh god! Augh!"

"Good. Stop," I say quickly as I see the top of her baby's head.

Miranda looks at me, "Stop?"

"Stop," I confirm.

George looks up at the mirror hanging against the wall so that he and Miranda can see the actual birth. "Oh! Dr. Bailey I can see the top of his head!" he exclaims and I grin as he continues, "He's got a lot of hair. Oh, he's cute."

"O'Malley?" Miranda says getting his attention.

George looks at her, "Yeah?"

"Stop looking at my va-jay-jay!" she yells and I laugh.

George looks away instantly, "Yes ma'am."

Once I get the baby in the right position in my hands, I ask Miranda to push one last time. She's obviously squeezing the life out of George's hand by the expression on his face. I finish the delivery and I congratulate Dr. Bailey on her new baby boy before I get paged away by Richard. It's gotta be something important. I ask George to take the baby up to the NICU to be washed and examined before I leave.

I walk up to a whole group of interns, doctors and nurses gathered around Richard. It looks as though they're waiting to see who's coming out the elevator. After a minute, the doors open revealing Dr. Burke and Dr. Cam standing in there.

They walk up to the group and as they reach it, I'm assuming the wife of the bomb patient runs up to Preston, "Dr. Burke. Is my husband um… alive?"

"Yes," he says simply.

The wife asks nervously, "Is he… gonna stay alive?"

He points over to some young girl, who I'm assuming is Hannah the Paramedic, "Thanks to that young lady over there he is."

The wife crying happily shakes Dr. Burke's hand thanking him then walks up to Hannah thanking her to with a tight hug. Richard nods at Preston and Preston walks off. The group seems to have dispersed and I have yet to see Meredith. I'm walking around searching anxiously as Richard walks up to me.

"Where is she?" I don't even stop looking to give him a chance to answer, "Where, where is she?"

"Locker room," he says and I run off.

Entering the locker room, I hear the showers running and walk up peering my head through the door. I see Izzie and Cristina helping a shell shocked Meredith still in her scrubs and gown into the shower. She's still caked in blood and debris. I take off my coat opening the door and stepping inside as they remove her scrubs cap and gown. I help Cristina and Izzie guide her under the shower head as I begin washing her hair.

We never speak a word.

I drive Meredith home and I let her into the house. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to say but when I was about to walk away she grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. She laid down in the bed and I climb in after her spooning her while she stares silently out the window in the rain. She finally turns around to face me and I smile.

Meredith speaks softly, "Hey."

I stare at her relieved to just hear her voice, "Hey. You almost died today."

"Yeah. I almost died today," she says. I look at her for a bit just in she says more but she doesn't. I sigh closing her eyes. I'm so tired of this day. Meredith speaks up again and I open my eyes, "I can't… I can't remember if I ever told you that I loved you… All I could think about was, I'm going to die today and I can't remember if I ever told you I loved you. Which is pathetic, but I… want to be able to remember that. And I can't Addison. I can't remember."

I nod smiling closing her eyes again to think as Meredith starts to turn around but I stop her, "It was a Thursday morning, three days ago. You were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole in the back of the neck." I chuckle a little, "You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of flower… I was running late for surgery. You said you were gonna see me later and you leaned into me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick, kinda like a habit… then you told me you loved me. I don't even think you realized you said it. It was so casual like you know, like we'd say it every day for the rest of our lives. You just went back to reading the newspaper and I went off to work."

Meredith nods then turns to roll back over and settle back into the cuddle. After a few moments of silence, I hear her speak up again, "Lavender."

"Hmm?" I ask not really knowing what she's referring to.

Meredith speaks up a little louder, "My hair smelled like lavender from my conditioner."

"Lavender," I say nodding into Meredith's hair. It does smell lavender, "Huh."

We drift into a comfortable silence until I realized something, "Meredith?"

Meredith says almost asleep, "Hum?"

"I realized that I never said it back…" Meredith turns around to face me and I smile, "I love you, Meredith Grey."

"I love you too," she says while tears well up in her eyes.

I wipe them away with the palm of my hand, "I'm glad you didn't die today."